# Little Boy Christmas - The Forgotten Son of Mr & Mrs Claus

An episode of [The Imperfects](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1476501557), 22 Dec 2024, 27 min.

Audio: https://enrichment.soundstack.com/4vjqq8/episode.flightcast.com/rsh210uqipesg89baywit295.mp3

Quick heads up: Little Boy Christmas has a tenuous relationship with his parents, and therefore, this episode isn’t suited for kids. Have you ever wondered about Little Boy Christmas, the forgotten son of Santa and Mrs Claus? Nope, neither had we. That’s probably why he’s forgotten. Looking like an unbelievably shredded Dickensian orphan (you’re going to want to watch the YouTube for this one), Little Boy Christmas chats to Hugh, Ryan and Josh about the physical and psychological pressures of being in the most famous family in the world. A BIG thank you to Guy Montgomery who introduced us to Little Boy Christmas. All ad revenue from this episode will be donated to Guy Montgomery’s chosen charity of Auckland City Mission. Auckland City Mission responds to poverty, aiming to help people find permanent housing and food. If you’d like to donate, or check out what they’re about, follow this link - https://bit.ly/3VB0dfM 🎧Things to listen to: • Mrs Claus - Santa’s Better Half - https://bit.ly/4gns2zX • Santa Claus - A Special Vulnerabilitea House - https://apple.co/40Y7HNs • Guy’s podcast - The Worst Idea of All Time - https://apple.co/3DkUYKI 📺 Things to watch: • Guy Montgomery’s Guy Mont Spelling Bee - https://ab.co/4izbmay 🎟️ Things to buy tickets to: • I’ve Noticed So Many Things, It’d Be Unfair To Keep Them To Myself tour • Australian Tickets - https://bit.ly/3DczzDx • NZ Tickets - https://bit.ly/49BCuC4

## Transcript

[0:00] We're really excited to bring you this conversation with Little Boy Christmas.
[0:04] But although it is a Christmas chat, just a reminder to parents that this one is not appropriate for kids.
[0:10] Christmas Day, six years old, first Christmas on the South Pole.
[0:14] I put out a stocking, I put out a cookie, I put out a cup of milk.
[0:19] I think surely tonight, right?
[0:21] Daddy's coming.
[0:22] Daddy's coming.
[0:25] Yeah, daddy's coming.
[0:27] He came.
[0:27] He didn't wake me up.
[0:28] He didn't leave a note.
[0:30] Scarfed the cookie, finished the milk.
[0:32] Lump of coal, see you later.
[0:34] The Imperfects invites you into a very safe place.
[0:40] Merry Christmas!
[0:42] A place where we share without judgement and drink heaps and heaps of vulnerability.
[0:53] Grab yourself a cup.
[0:56] This is the Vulnerability House.
[1:00] Well, a very special vulnerability house.
[1:05] If you've heard over the last couple of years, every year around this time, we do a special Christmas episode.
[1:10] A couple of years ago, we were very, very lucky to snag an exclusive with Santa Claus.
[1:17] Yeah.
[1:18] That was one of our bigger guests.
[1:19] Yeah, that was huge.
[1:22] And that was a huge thank you to Glenn Robbins for putting us in touch with you.
[1:26] And then the following year, it turns out that Ursula Carlson knows Mrs. Claus.
[1:29] And so we had Mrs. Claus on last year.
[1:32] This year, it's really exciting.
[1:36] And also the first child we've ever had on the show.
[1:41] And that's the son, long forgotten son of Mr. and Mrs. Claus.
[1:46] And we're so, so lucky to have him here, Little Boy Christmas.
[1:51] Well, thank you so much for the opportunity to use your platform, I suppose, to tell my side of the story.
[1:57] Wow.
[1:58] Okay.
[2:00] So how old are you, Little Boy Christmas?
[2:01] Not important, really.
[2:04] I think age is just a number we prescribe ideas to.
[2:09] Being semi-immortal can be quite a draining conversation.
[2:13] Fair enough.
[2:15] How old do I look?
[2:18] Close to 40?
[2:20] No way to talk to a boy.
[2:23] No, I mean, I would have guessed you're sort of between 10 and 12.
[2:27] Trapped in amber for all time between 10 and 12.
[2:32] But my body's slowly growing faster than mine.
[2:34] Yeah, okay.
[2:35] Well, it's just a privilege for us to have you here.
[2:39] Yeah, and it's a privilege to be here.
[2:41] I heard you once with mum and dad and...
[2:43] It's always interesting to hear them, I suppose, on the record or on a podcast.
[2:49] I suppose I was listening and waiting for a mention.
[2:52] Christmas is a time for celebration and kids and stuff.
[2:57] Yeah.
[2:57] You know, didn't get a look in.
[3:00] Listening to your mum speak must have been shocking at times, or is she always a bit vulgar?
[3:06] She's pretty open.
[3:08] There's an open door policy growing up at home, so nothing's hidden.
[3:12] Okay.
[3:12] Okay.
[3:13] And I suppose...
[3:15] You've got to imagine if you're a boy and both of your parents have the ability to see what you're doing at all times, know when you're sleeping, know when you're awake, know what happens in between times, you lose a lot of privacy.
[3:30] I imagine particularly with your mum because she's obviously so open in talking about sex.
[3:35] Yes.
[3:36] Do you talk to her about those sorts of like – About my own sexual adventures?
[3:42] Have you had the chat?
[3:43] She did give me the chat.
[3:44] She left a copy of what's happening to me on my dresser when I was 11 years old.
[3:51] So now.
[3:53] Yeah, well, when I was originally 11 years old.
[3:55] Okay, yeah.
[3:57] And so, you know, that was the way of broaching the topic.
[4:00] And then she said, any questions, you just bring them straight to me.
[4:04] Any questions you've taken to her that have shocked her?
[4:08] She had to give me a pretty hard stare away from the reindeer.
[4:12] Oh.
[4:13] Just in terms of exploration and whatnot.
[4:16] Oh.
[4:17] I guess, yeah.
[4:17] Well, I mean, how are you to know what's right and wrong?
[4:20] Things are pretty different up there.
[4:22] Yeah.
[4:23] And some of the reindeer can talk, so you do form a bond.
[4:25] It's confusing.
[4:28] Yeah.
[4:29] And I guess that big red nose is... Well, it's a beacon, isn't it?
[4:32] It's a beacon, yeah.
[4:34] Yeah.
[4:35] To say, so far, you're a bit more like your mum than your dad.
[4:38] Yeah.
[4:39] We should actually take this opportunity to thank...
[4:42] The only reason we were able to get in touch with you is through Guy Montgomery, who kindly put us in touch with you.
[4:48] Do you know Guy?
[4:49] Oh, not well.
[4:50] He's always in my DMs.
[4:52] Is he?
[4:52] Yeah.
[4:53] DMs me a lot.
[4:54] Really?
[4:55] Too much?
[4:55] Late at night.
[4:55] That's a bit weird.
[4:56] Yeah.
[4:57] Oh, it's fine.
[4:58] Mostly harmless.
[5:00] He's well-meaning.
[5:01] He seems quite lonely.
[5:03] Oh, have you seen him perform before?
[5:05] He's a hilarious... Not for you.
[5:06] Yeah, okay.
[5:07] Well, I find him very funny.
[5:09] I prefer sort of wittier stuff.
[5:10] Really?
[5:11] A bit lowbrow.
[5:12] Yeah, it's a bit lowbrow from me.
[5:13] Do you get his TV show, Spelling Bee, up at North Pole?
[5:17] Oh, we can watch it, absolutely.
[5:18] Oh, that's good.
[5:19] It's a very good show.
[5:20] That must be great for you, learning to spell and... Oh, we don't.
[5:23] We can, you know, but it's not for us.
[5:26] Oh, spelling?
[5:27] Well, just the show.
[5:28] Like I said, his comedic sensibilities don't really align with mine.
[5:31] I guess everyone's got a different idea of what's funny.
[5:33] Who are some of your comedic heroes?
[5:37] Andrew Dice Clay.
[5:40] Joe Rogan.
[5:41] Wow.
[5:42] Yeah.
[5:43] Yeah.
[5:43] I'm more of a, you know, I mean, it's great to be on the podcast, but I'm much more, you guys don't know Joe Rogan, do you?
[5:49] I'd love to get on the Rogan experience.
[5:52] No, he's sort of like a slightly different category.
[5:54] Oh, okay.
[5:55] Yeah.
[5:56] Very popular.
[5:57] Yeah.
[5:57] Yeah.
[5:58] But no, I don't, we don't know him.
[6:00] I thought everyone in podcasting knew each other.
[6:03] No, unfortunately.
[6:04] Unfortunately not.
[6:05] I mean, if you had the chance to get on Rogan's podcast.
[6:08] That would be awesome.
[6:09] What would you like to talk about?
[6:10] Just whatever he brings up, I guess.
[6:12] Yeah, just go with the flow.
[6:13] Just listen, yeah.
[6:14] Yeah, cool.
[6:15] Open to all ideas.
[6:16] Yeah.
[6:17] Yeah, great.
[6:18] He just seems awesome.
[6:23] Well, good luck getting on the Rogan experience.
[6:24] Thanks so much.
[6:25] This feels like the first step.
[6:26] Yeah, definitely.
[6:28] That's the general trajectory in perfects to Joe Rogan experience.
[6:32] I will be the sole piece in between the two circles of that Venn diagram.
[6:37] Little boy Christmas desperately holding on to two circles.
[6:42] I've just noticed in front of us, we've got carrots, which you could give to the rounders.
[6:48] We've got chocolate biscuits and milk.
[6:50] We've kind of guessed, is it like father, like son?
[6:52] I will have some of the milk.
[6:54] Yeah, please.
[6:55] Thank you so much.
[6:56] Is that okay that he does that?
[6:57] Yeah, it's safe.
[6:59] It's for me to answer, isn't it?
[7:03] Is this for my dad?
[7:04] Do I have to put this back down?
[7:05] No, no, it's not.
[7:05] You know how many cups of milk I've had to pick up and put back down in my life?
[7:09] You go on the first sleigh run?
[7:11] Yeah, that's not for you, boy.
[7:12] Okay, you got it, dad.
[7:15] That's hard.
[7:16] I mean, does he at least, because I know there'd be a lot of downtime throughout the year.
[7:20] Do you ever sit down with mum and dad and watch, I mean, do you watch Christmas movies?
[7:24] Yeah.
[7:25] No.
[7:26] No.
[7:27] It's frustrating when you're on the inside and you know how the sausage is made to see all these sort of jolly speculative pieces of propaganda.
[7:34] It's like, I'm at home, man.
[7:36] Yeah.
[7:36] I know what it's like in there.
[7:38] So the inaccuracies.
[7:40] Well, it just drives me crazy.
[7:41] And I'm not in any of them.
[7:43] You know?
[7:44] Of course.
[7:44] I'm not in any pop culture.
[7:46] So is this the reason, like, not being mentioned by your mum and dad when they've come on our podcast, not being mentioned in any media?
[7:53] Is that why you're out doing the press run at the moment?
[7:56] Yeah, I suppose it's...
[7:59] I just want to sort of paint some of the rest of the picture of what the home life is like and what Father and Mother Christmas are really getting up.
[8:07] You know, like they're all for kids, right?
[8:09] It's all about the kids.
[8:10] They're all about getting the presents out there for the kids.
[8:12] There's a kid at home.
[8:15] Oh yeah, that's interesting So not only forgotten by the world But maybe forgotten by mum and dad Okay, well We are going to get to the vulnerability house cards Soon and maybe that stuff will come up A little bit more Are you comfortable picking some of these cards?
[8:30] Little boy Christmas?
[8:31] Sorry, just before we do that, I'm just looking at Little Boy Christmas and I'm just thinking Why is he dressed in Dickensian costume?
[8:37] No, I'm looking at his face and I'm just thinking, gosh, like, you know, I believe that he's the son of Father Christmas and Mrs. Christmas, but he looks a bit more like me than Father Christmas Oh, well, I read all of your articles in Men's Fitness
[8:55] And I'm also a 400-meter runner.
[8:59] That's a similarity.
[9:00] I suppose physically it's not a surprise that we would resemble one another.
[9:03] Yeah, maybe that's it.
[9:04] And there's every chance you fucked my mum.
[9:11] Hugh, do you want an opportunity to respond?
[9:15] Be ashamed to leave it hanging.
[9:19] Look, I'm a huge fan of Mrs. Claus.
[9:22] Go on.
[9:24] And I'm 44.
[9:27] And I was single for a long time.
[9:29] Yeah.
[9:29] Okay, so...
[9:31] I was quite the player back in the day, so who knows?
[9:33] Okay, I'm just trying to figure out who's playing the character here.
[9:41] Okay, cards.
[9:43] So the way this works, Little Boy Christmas, is on all of these cards, there are different questions that may invoke a story or a memory or a feeling, something vulnerable.
[9:54] So you're aware that this is a podcast where we ask our guests to be vulnerable, so hopefully you're willing to spill the tea.
[10:02] Hey.
[10:03] So please pick that three cards.
[10:05] Just from the top.
[10:06] Just from the top.
[10:07] And you can read them out and let us know what they are.
[10:10] So I've got three questions here.
[10:14] Can you remember a time you received harsh feedback or criticism?
[10:18] How did you handle it?
[10:21] What were you embarrassed about as a teenager?
[10:25] And when did your life get turned upside down and how did things change?
[10:31] They're all, I mean, their last one's probably the easiest.
[10:36] You know, my life got turned upside down when I got sent to boarding school on the South Pole.
[10:42] Oh, I didn't know that really.
[10:43] Yeah.
[10:43] Oh, my gosh.
[10:45] So all the way around.
[10:46] Well, yeah, upside down.
[10:47] Long walk.
[10:48] Topsy-turvy.
[10:48] Yeah.
[10:50] It was a long walk.
[10:50] I missed the first year of school.
[10:54] Thanks to the commute.
[10:56] Okay, so what age did you get sent to the South Pole?
[11:00] Six.
[11:03] I was acting up at home.
[11:04] Did you have any friends at boarding school?
[11:06] Were there other people there?
[11:08] Or like who goes to the South Pole boarding school?
[11:10] It's sort of, it's a combination of anthropomorphic animals and me.
[11:15] So I met my first penguin, you know, there was a blue whale in my class.
[11:20] Wow.
[11:21] Yeah, a leopard seal.
[11:23] We were taught by the ghost of Ernest Shackleton.
[11:29] And when it came to like Christmas Day, is that a happy time for you?
[11:36] Especially when you're at the...
[11:38] Funny thing, funny thing Christmas Day, isn't it?
[11:40] On the South Pole, Christmas Day, six years old, first Christmas on the South Pole.
[11:45] I put out a stocking, I put out a cookie, I put out a cup of milk.
[11:50] I think surely tonight, right?
[11:52] Daddy's coming.
[11:53] Daddy's coming.
[11:54] Yeah, daddy's coming.
[11:58] And I just sort of wanted, I don't know why, I thought I'd get special treatment.
[12:02] He came, but he didn't wake me up.
[12:04] He didn't leave a note.
[12:05] Scarfed the cookie, finished the milk, lump of coal.
[12:08] See you later.
[12:10] Oh, I'm so sorry.
[12:11] Lumber coal.
[12:12] Lumber coal, which is actually pretty useful down there.
[12:17] Oh, that's heartbreaking, little boy Christmas.
[12:24] You've never really, ironically, never really enjoyed Christmas, I guess.
[12:28] No, well, you know, it's a different day, isn't it, for everyone?
[12:33] And it's important to remember come Christmas time that it's different for everyone.
[12:36] And for some people, it's a moment to celebrate, and for other people, it's just a day to get through.
[12:42] Well, I mean, I'm Jewish, and I grew up never having Christmas.
[12:46] Who's the guest on this podcast, mate?
[12:47] Yep.
[12:47] No.
[12:50] Sorry.
[12:51] Just thought I'd sneak in one little thing.
[12:54] But no, you're right.
[12:55] You're absolutely right, Little Boy Christmas.
[12:57] This is all about you because this will be the last time you'll be on the podcast.
[13:03] Yeah, it's all up from here, mate.
[13:05] Yeah, and you can tell Guy we haven't got much room for the rest of the couple of years either.
[13:13] So what my assumption would have been,
[13:16] Boxing day, pretty much.
[13:17] Boxing day.
[13:18] Like your dad comes home and it's like... That was my idea.
[13:21] Yeah, and you're thinking, well, what's left over?
[13:22] Like, what didn't you need?
[13:23] Did you order too many bikes?
[13:24] Did you order too many, you know... Have you heard of the Great Pacific Garbage Patch?
[13:30] I have.
[13:31] Yeah.
[13:31] Yeah, yeah.
[13:32] Where all the garbage is accumulated in the Pacific.
[13:36] You know who's the leading donator to the Great Pacific Garbage Patch?
[13:39] Yeah.
[13:40] My dad.
[13:41] Wow.
[13:41] Gosh.
[13:42] He over orders.
[13:43] It's not coming back home.
[13:44] Why not?
[13:44] Chucked in the ocean.
[13:45] Just bring it home to you for crying out loud.
[13:47] So you'd think.
[13:48] He doesn't want to spoil me, he says.
[13:50] Yeah.
[13:51] Well, looking at your clothes, he certainly has not.
[13:53] Yeah.
[13:54] And I like to think that there are some fish having an absolute whale of a time.
[13:57] Oh, on the bikes?
[13:59] Yeah, and whatnot.
[14:01] And Nintendo gloves.
[14:03] New cricket bat.
[14:05] Not even knocked in yet.
[14:08] It's hard to knock in underwater.
[14:09] It is.
[14:12] Okay, so you don't even get any presents.
[14:14] Christmas is terrible.
[14:15] What have you got for that second card?
[14:18] Well, can you remember a time you received harsh feedback or criticism and how did you handle it?
[14:23] You sort of brushed upon it earlier, Hugh, but yeah, obviously –
[14:27] And it's an unreasonable wage to be challenged on this, but part of the reason I got sent down there is because I couldn't grow a beard, which is sort of how dad defines masculinity.
[14:36] Even at 10 to 12?
[14:37] Yeah.
[14:38] When did he get his beard?
[14:40] His beard came in.
[14:41] He was born with that.
[14:42] Wow.
[14:43] Yeah.
[14:43] Wow.
[14:44] Scratchy birth.
[14:45] Scratchy birth.
[14:48] Yeah.
[14:49] And so, you know, I remember when I went off the boob and onto the bottle, I remember, you know, because my brain was developing quicker than my body and I could read, you know, when they weren't around, I'd read what was in the formula.
[15:03] And they were putting human growth hormones in there.
[15:06] Wow.
[15:06] Trying to get the beard coming.
[15:08] Did that have any other ill-averse effects?
[15:12] Yeah.
[15:12] I mean, I am unbelievably shredded.
[15:15] Good.
[15:18] And you know, which obviously different people like different things.
[15:21] Some people would think that's great, but that really pisses dad off.
[15:25] Oh, but you're shredded and he's not.
[15:27] Yeah.
[15:28] Well, maybe if you share the cookies around, mate, we could split the diff.
[15:36] So, so obviously your relationship with your dad is hard.
[15:40] Yeah.
[15:40] Frosty.
[15:41] Frosty at best.
[15:45] But...
[15:47] Do you think there'll be a time?
[15:48] It's wordplay, Ryan.
[15:49] No, no, no.
[15:50] I'm following along.
[15:52] So we were all laughing for long and then I just wondered.
[15:54] No, I know.
[15:55] I actually felt the laugh was a little too long.
[15:58] I just wanted to make sure it wasn't that you didn't understand.
[16:00] No, no.
[16:01] I'm on board.
[16:01] Yeah, cool.
[16:02] Shackleton's the only thing I haven't understood yet.
[16:06] So I imagine at some point your father may want to retire.
[16:12] It's family business.
[16:13] Has there been any talk of you ever taking over?
[16:17] When I have a beard, he said we can sit down and have a chat.
[16:21] But I cannot, I cannot, I cannot for the life of me grow a beard.
[16:26] Which you want.
[16:27] You want the beard though.
[16:29] I don't know.
[16:29] I feel like I've spent half my life running away from it and half my life.
[16:34] moving towards it.
[16:36] I don't mean to ask a pointed question or a sensitive one, but have you ever thought that potentially your body is not growing the beard to protect you?
[16:44] Oh...
[16:48] Yeah, I suppose there's, there are like physiological things can be connected to psychological things, right?
[16:56] And they can be operating at levels that we can't totally understand.
[17:00] I mean, it's possible as I get older and, you know, I suppose as I've managed to talk to dad, you know, I suppose when he sees me as someone who he can actually talk to as an equal instead of just his kid, then, you know, who knows?
[17:14] It could come, yeah, it could pop out.
[17:15] That'd be a day, eh?
[17:18] Yeah.
[17:19] He goes, all right, son, I love you.
[17:21] And I go, what's up now?
[17:23] Look out, old man.
[17:25] But no, all of this does weigh heavy on me.
[17:27] And so that's why I suppose the, you know, can you remember a time you received harsh feedback or criticism was at five, you know, being told I can't grow a beard and that's an issue and being kicked out of the house and having a long walk.
[17:42] And that's when I did come up with the idea for Boxing Day.
[17:48] That's you?
[17:49] That's me.
[17:50] Wow.
[17:50] Yeah, because I wanted to get some gloves on and fucking smack that man in the face.
[17:57] Oh.
[17:58] Obviously, some of it got lost in translation.
[18:00] It's a totally different thing now.
[18:02] Yeah, now it's a cricket day.
[18:06] oh my god so that's a bit of a scoop that you invented boxing day yeah it's huge yeah was it your plan to have cricket as such a big feature on boxing day as well purely coincidental really yeah and you know i love it you see you get into your cricket yeah yeah yeah big into cricket nice love the boxing day test love the boxing day test who's your favorite um bowler in the world at the moment
[18:30] Because I reckon we might like the same guy.
[18:32] The favourite bowler in the world?
[18:33] Should we say it at the same time?
[18:34] Okay.
[18:35] One, two, three.
[18:36] Matt Henry.
[18:37] Oh.
[18:38] Both New Zealanders.
[18:39] Yeah, they are both New Zealanders.
[18:41] Yeah, Matt Henry's good.
[18:42] Anyway, back in character.
[18:48] Because I know where all the blackcaps live.
[18:50] I do the rounds around Christmas just to see what's in and out.
[18:53] And I did see a copy of your book in a box out the front of his lawn.
[18:55] Yeah.
[18:58] Probably generously passing it on to someone else.
[19:00] And there's a post-it note in the front that said, unused, brand new condition.
[19:06] Wasn't interested.
[19:07] Yeah, yeah.
[19:09] To be clear.
[19:12] The audio book is probably, he's good.
[19:13] He was probably just listening to that.
[19:15] I also saw his phone and it had audible output.
[19:19] And he'd written it with a big red marker across the front of it.
[19:22] It's a picture of your face.
[19:26] It's crazy.
[19:27] I don't know what he's doing.
[19:28] He's gone to a lot of effort.
[19:30] Wow, and ruined his phone just to make a point.
[19:32] Yeah.
[19:33] Yeah, okay.
[19:34] All right, now there's one more card, whether or not you feel like you can.
[19:37] We can have a crack.
[19:37] Have a crack, yeah.
[19:39] What were you embarrassed about as a teenager?
[19:41] Too early to say.
[19:42] It is.
[19:42] It is.
[19:43] It is.
[19:43] It is.
[19:43] It is.
[19:44] It is.
[19:44] It is.
[19:44] It is.
[19:45] It is.
[19:45] It is.
[19:45] It is.
[19:45] It is.
[19:46] It is.
[19:47] It is.
[19:48] Do you fear puberty or are you looking forward to it all?
[19:52] Well, it comes back to the body hair thing.
[19:55] I'm excited in some ways.
[19:59] I suppose, of course, you fear what you don't know, but it's sort of been such a long time coming.
[20:04] I've been alive for as long as I can remember.
[20:06] Yeah.
[20:08] And so I'm just, you know, I'm ready.
[20:11] Very ready.
[20:12] Colour me ready.
[20:12] Sometimes after Dad's had a shave or a trim or whatever, I'll go in there and sellotape bodies cut off onto my body just to see how it feels and looks and stuff.
[20:20] Wow.
[20:21] Has anyone ever seen it?
[20:22] Like, did they catch you?
[20:23] Have they caught you doing that?
[20:25] Yeah, Dad came in once when I sellotaped his beard, his pubes.
[20:32] Oh, what a moment.
[20:34] And I was in the mirror.
[20:35] I didn't see him come in.
[20:36] I was talking to myself and I was saying, who's Father Christmas now?
[20:39] Wow.
[20:46] Okay.
[20:48] It sounds like it's been tough for you.
[20:49] Some long pubes.
[20:50] Yeah, really long.
[20:52] I mean, I know you've obviously, it's been quite contentious with you and your parents.
[20:59] It's been tough.
[21:00] But there's every chance they'll be listening to this or even watching this.
[21:03] We're filming this.
[21:05] I mean, if you're comfortable, we invite you to...
[21:09] what would you like to say to them?
[21:10] Like, look down the, that's your camera there.
[21:12] You know, there's still camera.
[21:13] There's still camera.
[21:14] Yeah.
[21:14] Just what would you say to them?
[21:16] If you just open the door, you know, let me, let me come back home.
[21:23] You know, I'll bring cookies.
[21:26] I'll bring milk.
[21:27] I'll bring a better attitude.
[21:32] And if you guys know Joe Rogan, I'd love to get on this podcast.
[21:36] That's beautiful.
[21:37] Little boy Christmas.
[21:38] That is beautiful.
[21:39] That one moment to take.
[21:41] You've spent it beautifully.
[21:43] Well done.
[21:45] Your parents must have been excited, though, when you came home from boarding school.
[21:49] They weren't excited.
[21:50] They were not excited.
[21:51] I mean, they were not excited.
[21:54] So they were not excited.
[21:55] They were not excited.
[21:56] I'm sorry.
[21:56] That's hard.
[21:57] Unexcited.
[21:58] Yeah.
[22:01] If you want to make it one word instead of two.
[22:03] Yeah.
[22:04] It's called a prefix.
[22:05] You have watched this spelling bee show.
[22:07] No, no, no.
[22:07] It sounds like it.
[22:09] What do you like better, prefixes or suffixes?
[22:12] Let's talk for real.
[22:16] Where did he get that put in the cards?
[22:17] Let's go there.
[22:18] Hang on, what is a suffix?
[22:21] Well, it goes at the end of a word.
[22:23] So, but is it a, is it like the, is it part of the word or is it an extra bit?
[22:28] Like what's an example of a suffix?
[22:30] I actually don't know.
[22:31] Is it like long and longingly?
[22:34] Is the ingly a suffix?
[22:35] I'm not sure.
[22:36] Maybe.
[22:37] There must be someone playing along at home.
[22:39] Prefix and, yeah, I don't know.
[22:41] I've never actually thought what that actually is.
[22:42] Prefix and suffix.
[22:44] I like the sound of suffix better.
[22:45] Yeah.
[22:46] Yeah.
[22:47] And the idea of it better.
[22:48] Like you think you know the word and all of a sudden it changes.
[22:50] Oh, you like the twist.
[22:52] Yeah, it's the thriller of the word.
[22:55] Yeah.
[22:57] To buzz about it.
[22:57] It's a different finish.
[23:00] It's the M. Night Shyamalan of language.
[23:04] Oh, yeah, longingly.
[23:05] No, why?
[23:06] Long.
[23:07] I did not see that coming.
[23:09] Ing.
[23:10] Whoa.
[23:10] Lee.
[23:11] Ah!
[23:27] I'm very much looking forward to watching that back Well, Little Boy Christmas, it's just been an absolute thrill Like, we're so, so grateful for you It's been awesome to be here Yeah Would we okay if I told you some things?
[23:43] Oh, yeah.
[23:44] Yeah.
[23:44] Commission granted.
[23:45] Yeah, okay.
[23:46] So he's going to teach me about the world.
[23:48] No, no, I just, I feel like if you're traveling all the time and you happen to be going through, and you probably know this because you know Guy Montgomery, but like he's got some shows, like next year he's doing, he's doing his tour.
[23:58] Oh, yeah.
[23:59] And he's doing all the major festivals.
[24:01] So it's like the Adelaide Fringe, then the Melbourne International Comedy Festival, the Sydney...
[24:07] comedy thing.
[24:08] Yeah, the Sydney one.
[24:08] Yeah, the Sydney one.
[24:09] I don't know what their name is.
[24:10] And the show is good.
[24:11] You're pretty close with the, I think it's just Comedy Festival.
[24:13] Sydney Comedy Festival.
[24:14] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[24:15] Just believe in yourself.
[24:16] Yeah.
[24:19] And some other ones as well, I reckon.
[24:22] They're the main ones.
[24:23] Well, has he released the dates?
[24:25] He would have.
[24:26] Yeah.
[24:26] Okay.
[24:27] As I've said, you know, he DMs me a lot.
[24:30] Comedy's not for me.
[24:31] Have you heard the name of the show?
[24:32] No.
[24:32] Oh, you'll love it.
[24:33] It's such a good name.
[24:34] So Guy Montgomery's stand-up show next year.
[24:41] I've noticed so many things.
[24:43] It'd be unfair to keep them to myself.
[24:45] Brilliant.
[24:45] Name of the show.
[24:46] It's not bad, actually.
[24:48] It's high praise coming from you.
[24:50] I'm sure the content's trash, but the name's not bad.
[24:53] And then, I mean, also like one of the greatest shows of the year, Guy Mont Spelling Bee.
[24:58] Yeah.
[24:58] You've got to watch this show.
[24:59] It's brilliant, hilarious.
[25:01] The host is fantastic.
[25:03] Got a sidekick, Aaron Chen.
[25:06] Very good.
[25:06] Oh, wow.
[25:07] Yeah.
[25:08] You like this Guy Montgomery fella so much, you should have got him on.
[25:16] It's been great.
[25:18] Little Boy Christmas, thank you.
[25:19] You're a wonderful boy.
[25:20] Thank you.
[25:22] Good luck in your teen years.
[25:24] And good luck getting on Rogan as well.
[25:26] Yeah.
[25:26] Yeah.
[25:27] Well, you'll be hearing about that when it happens.
[25:29] Awesome.
[25:30] Yeah.
[25:30] Awesome.
[25:31] It's probably actually worth mentioning that our profits, the Imperfects profits from this episode, will be going to a charity.
[25:37] And Little Boy, you chose a – can I just call you Little Boy?
[25:42] Yeah, Little Boy's nice.
[25:43] Little Boy's good?
[25:44] Little Boy's lovely.
[25:45] Yeah.
[25:46] You can't say that.
[25:47] I mean, you can't say anything anymore.
[25:50] No, but that is understandably high in the list.
[25:57] So little boy, where would you like the money to go?
[26:00] Auckland City Mission is a charity in Aotearoa and Tamaki, which is where I have, I stayed there for a while on my way to the South Pole.
[26:13] And they do incredible work providing food and housing and just, you know, the basic human rights for people who might not have access to them.
[26:21] Brilliant.
[26:21] Yeah, that sounds like a very worthy cause.
[26:23] Yeah.
[26:24] Especially the holidays, they need everything.
[26:26] Yeah, great.
[26:26] Beautiful.
[26:27] Nice.
[26:27] And we'll also put a link in the show notes for anyone that wants a donut.
[26:32] Yeah, that wouldn't kill you, would it, if you're listening?
[26:36] Thanks for having me.
[26:37] And Merry Christmas, if that's what I had to say.
[26:39] That's fine.
[26:39] Merry Christmas.
[26:40] Merry Christmas, little boy.
[26:41] To one and all.
[26:43] See, I could do the job.
[26:44] You could.
[26:45] Thank you, little boy.

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