# The Hidden Beliefs That Shape Your Happiness with Shawn Achor

An episode of [The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1474245040), 18 May 2026, 43 min.

Audio: https://pdrl.fm/e76c46/podtrac.com/pts/redirect.mp3/pscrb.fm/rss/p/tracking.swap.fm/track/SxlTEPDY7xDg35RXkASs/traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/96c5c41e-0bc8-4661-b184-ae32006cd726/27945d2c-2bb2-444c-9ab8-b44e00138746/audio.mp3?utm_source=Podcast&in_playlist=d623ef0b-3fee-4c26-b815-ae32006cd739

Our beliefs shape more than we realize. They influence what we notice, how we respond to setbacks, how connected we feel to others, and whether we take action to improve our lives. As part of our series on how to spring clean your wellbeing, Dr. Laurie sits down with happiness expert Shawn Achor, author of The Power of Beliefs, to explore how our beliefs about time, work, relationships, and self-worth shape happiness, success, and long-term wellbeing. And if some of your beliefs are holding you back, Shawn shares practical ways to start shifting them. Plus, we learn one delightful fact about fireflies. Experts Mentioned: • Shawn Achor, positive psychology researcher and author • Richard Wiseman, professor of the public understanding of psychology at the University of Hertfordshire • Henry Beecher, anesthesiologist at Harvard Medical School who pioneered research on the placebo effect Resources Mentioned: • The Power of Beliefs: How Strengthening Seven Core Beliefs Predicts Greater Success and a Better Life, by Shawn Achor (2026) • The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work, by Shawn Achor (2010) • The Luck Factor: The Scientific Study of the Lucky Mind, by Richard Wiseman (2004) • "From Jerusalem to Jericho: A Study of Situational and Dispositional Variables in Helping Behavior," by John M. Darley and C. Daniel Batson (Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 1973) Related Episodes: • "Grateful Expectations" • “How to Adopt a Growth Mindset” • “Happiness Lessons of The Ancients: The Buddha” • "Happiness Lessons of The Ancients: Socrates and Self-Knowledge" See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

## Transcript

[0:15] Speaker 1: Pushkin. Welcome back to our series on how to spring
[0:23] Speaker 1: clean our well being. So far we've explored the happiness
[0:27] Speaker 1: benefits of things like releasing grudges, redesigning our spaces, and
[0:31] Speaker 1: rethinking how our screens affect our physical health. But this
[0:34] Speaker 1: episode of the Happiness Lab is about spring cleaning the
[0:37] Speaker 1: beliefs that lie underneath all that.
[0:40] Speaker 2: So if I ask people about beliefs, like what do
[0:42] Speaker 2: you believe? They'll start with a political belief and then
[0:44] Speaker 2: a religious belief.
[0:46] Speaker 1: This is author and happiness expert Sean Aker.
[0:48] Speaker 2: They'll immediately go to one those two things. But actually,
[0:51] Speaker 2: we have beliefs about everything. We have beliefs about who
[0:54] Speaker 2: drives a cyber truck, are they a liberal or conservative?
[0:57] Speaker 2: We have beliefs about how tall I should be, or
[1:00] Speaker 2: whether or not it's good to be a stay at
[1:01] Speaker 2: home parent. We have undercurrents of belief that shape everything.
[1:05] Speaker 1: It's true that this idea of beliefs feels almost too
[1:08] Speaker 1: broad to tackle. You can believe in things like free
[1:10] Speaker 1: will or Santa Claus, or karma or meritocracy. The list
[1:15] Speaker 1: goes on and on, from the political to the personal,
[1:17] Speaker 1: to the abstract and existential. So I asked Sean, what
[1:21] Speaker 1: is a belief really?
[1:24] Speaker 2: For me, beliefs is simply the lens through which you
[1:26] Speaker 2: view the world that change the way you act with
[1:29] Speaker 2: in it. So our beliefs shape how I get a
[1:31] Speaker 2: CEE in biology, or how I have a new baby.
[1:35] Speaker 2: Those beliefs help us to facilitate not only what's coming in,
[1:40] Speaker 2: but then they change what comes back out to and
[1:42] Speaker 2: then they predict what happens next.
[1:44] Speaker 1: In his new book, The Power of Beliefs, Sean focuses
[1:48] Speaker 1: on a set of core beliefs that he argues can
[1:50] Speaker 1: be predictive of positive life outcomes, things like success and
[1:54] Speaker 1: long term happiness, and that feels especially important right now,
[1:58] Speaker 1: given how many people are struggling.
[2:00] Speaker 2: Those beliefs are things like I don't matter where I'm alone,
[2:03] Speaker 2: or this work isn't meaningful, or I'm missing out or
[2:08] Speaker 2: there's nothing greater than me. And on the opposite side is,
[2:11] Speaker 2: of course, I am not alone, or this work is meaningful,
[2:14] Speaker 2: or imatter right, or my behavior matters. But these core
[2:18] Speaker 2: beliefs seem to not only shape our experience to the present,
[2:21] Speaker 2: they shape how I listen to a news story that
[2:24] Speaker 2: comes in, or shape how I hear a geopolitical event.
[2:27] Speaker 2: These beliefs are then predictive of somebody's longevity or their
[2:32] Speaker 2: grades at school. And so if we have those negative beliefs,
[2:35] Speaker 2: we can see exactly why we're seeing these negative impacts
[2:40] Speaker 2: within our society. When I look at this world right now,
[2:42] Speaker 2: this seems to be suffering so much. We see accelerated
[2:45] Speaker 2: rates of depression and anxiety. We see a loneliness epidemic.
[2:50] Speaker 2: We see massive amounts of burnout and the great resignation,
[2:53] Speaker 2: all those types of things. I think we see these
[2:56] Speaker 2: symptoms of the negative version of these core beliefs.
[2:59] Speaker 1: Given what's going on these days, from economic pressure to
[3:02] Speaker 1: endlessly upsetting news cycles to political polarization, it's no wonder
[3:06] Speaker 1: some people have adopted these negative versions core beliefs. But
[3:10] Speaker 1: how predictive are these beliefs of our long term well being?
[3:13] Speaker 1: And is there anything we can do to change these
[3:15] Speaker 1: beliefs without totally changing everything about modern society. In twenty
[3:19] Speaker 1: twenty six, Sean and I will dive into all these
[3:22] Speaker 1: questions and the science of better beliefs when the Happiness
[3:26] Speaker 1: Lab returns from this quick break. Well being expert Sean
[3:48] Speaker 1: Aker and I have a lot in common. We both
[3:50] Speaker 1: examine happiness, and we both studied at Harvard. But while
[3:54] Speaker 1: I was training in psychology, he was focused on something bigger, the.
[3:58] Speaker 2: Divide I was in the Divinity School. I was studying
[4:01] Speaker 2: Christian and Buddhist ethics, so I was interested in how
[4:03] Speaker 2: people's beliefs shape the way that they interact with the world.
[4:07] Speaker 2: How do our beliefs change the way we decided to
[4:10] Speaker 2: give or forgive, or wake up in the morning, or
[4:12] Speaker 2: why we care about what happens to other people, or
[4:14] Speaker 2: why we think our work is meaningful.
[4:16] Speaker 1: Sean was thinking about all this from a spiritual perspective
[4:19] Speaker 1: when he ran into one of the world's leading positive psychologists.
[4:23] Speaker 2: A man named doctor Tall Vin Shahar.
[4:24] Speaker 1: Tall gave Sean a chance to join his team and
[4:27] Speaker 1: to rethink what he had been studying at the Divinity School.
[4:30] Speaker 1: Through the lens of psychological research.
[4:32] Speaker 2: I realized that positive psychology was asking the same questions
[4:35] Speaker 2: I was doing at the Divinity School, but with a
[4:38] Speaker 2: different language. I got hooked because if you could observe
[4:41] Speaker 2: and measure joy, then you could actually figure out what
[4:44] Speaker 2: was actually working. What beliefs help us create a better world,
[4:47] Speaker 2: what actions help us today.
[4:49] Speaker 1: Sean's work bridges those big existential questions with the practicality
[4:53] Speaker 1: of academic studies, and at the root of all of
[4:56] Speaker 1: Sean's work is the idea that our beliefs, both big
[4:59] Speaker 1: and small, matter. They shape our mood, our productivity, and
[5:02] Speaker 1: even our health. Take for example, the incredible power of
[5:06] Speaker 1: the placebo effect.
[5:07] Speaker 2: It's oftentimes the most a common example that we think
[5:10] Speaker 2: about how beliefs shape an outcome, like a health outcome.
[5:13] Speaker 2: So Henry Beecher was an anesthesiologist at Harvard who was
[5:17] Speaker 2: looking at the role of an inert intervention compared to
[5:22] Speaker 2: an actual intervention, and what he found back in the
[5:25] Speaker 2: fifties was basically, in a series of different studies, he
[5:28] Speaker 2: found that in thirty five percent of the cases, the
[5:32] Speaker 2: inert substance like a sugar pill, for example, or a
[5:35] Speaker 2: fake intervention that shouldn't have an impact upon the outcome,
[5:39] Speaker 2: when the participant believed that it was a real intervention,
[5:43] Speaker 2: then you got similar benefits to what you were seeing
[5:46] Speaker 2: with the actual medicine. And so then people started tracking
[5:48] Speaker 2: this over time, and it was the first opportunity for
[5:51] Speaker 2: us to be able to quantify in many ways the
[5:54] Speaker 2: role of belief about an intervention in the medical space
[5:57] Speaker 2: having a long term outcome. And it wasn't just in
[6:00] Speaker 2: one field. It wasn't just like with chronic pain, or
[6:04] Speaker 2: it wasn't just with cancer or epilepsy. But what we
[6:08] Speaker 2: got is to the modern world where before a drug
[6:11] Speaker 2: can be approved by the Federal Drug Administration, they tested
[6:16] Speaker 2: against a placebo. They want to know that it's better
[6:18] Speaker 2: than just believing that this new medication that you came
[6:21] Speaker 2: up with is going to work, and they do that
[6:23] Speaker 2: because they know the belief is so powerful.
[6:25] Speaker 1: Your book also showed an example of the power of
[6:27] Speaker 1: belief that comes from professional sports success. Could you explain
[6:30] Speaker 1: the example of home field advantage and why it's so
[6:33] Speaker 1: powerful for showing the effective beliefs.
[6:35] Speaker 2: Sure so, like most of your listeners who know about
[6:38] Speaker 2: the Placibo Effact, they know probably about the home field advantage.
[6:41] Speaker 2: It's pretty prevalent in our society that if you play
[6:43] Speaker 2: in your home stadium or your home court, you have
[6:45] Speaker 2: an increased likelihood of winning regardless of opponent. In college football,
[6:49] Speaker 2: you have a sixty percent chance of winning in your
[6:51] Speaker 2: home stadium. The same thing happens in soccer. There's like
[6:54] Speaker 2: a thirty percent chance of losing at home, but there
[6:57] Speaker 2: is a fifty percent chance of winning at home with
[7:00] Speaker 2: a twenty percent chance of a draw. But what you
[7:02] Speaker 2: see is this massive benefit to playing in your home stadium.
[7:06] Speaker 2: So I got this opportunity to talk with an NFL
[7:09] Speaker 2: coaching legend. This is Pete Carroll, who was out at
[7:11] Speaker 2: the time with the Seattle Seahawks, and I was like,
[7:14] Speaker 2: this is amazing because I've always wanted to ask someone
[7:17] Speaker 2: in a position like this about why the home field
[7:19] Speaker 2: advantage exists, because it's clearly some sort of psychology seeping in.
[7:23] Speaker 2: But what he explained to me was that's not what
[7:25] Speaker 2: home field advantage And what he told me at the
[7:26] Speaker 2: time is what most coaches and players believed, which is
[7:30] Speaker 2: the home field advantage exists because in order to get
[7:33] Speaker 2: to a visitor stadium, you have to travel, and you're
[7:36] Speaker 2: staying there overnight, and you've had flights, so you're fatigued,
[7:39] Speaker 2: and you're staying in a place where you don't know,
[7:41] Speaker 2: playing in a different elevation that you're not used to,
[7:43] Speaker 2: with a different type of weather system. You don't know
[7:46] Speaker 2: where the uprights are or the soccer goal compared to
[7:48] Speaker 2: the rest of the stadium. So your perception is slightly off.
[7:51] Speaker 2: That is the reason why we have such a home
[7:54] Speaker 2: field advantage. And then COVID started and the home field
[7:57] Speaker 2: advantage disappeared. Statistically, it completely was gone. But what is
[8:03] Speaker 2: amazing about this is that none of the things that
[8:07] Speaker 2: coach Pete Carroll had talked about, which were all the
[8:09] Speaker 2: things we knew were the reasons for the homefield advanage,
[8:11] Speaker 2: were the reasons for the home field advantage because they
[8:13] Speaker 2: were all still true. You still had to travel, you're
[8:16] Speaker 2: still in a different place with different weather. All of
[8:18] Speaker 2: that had actually remained constant. The only difference is, for
[8:22] Speaker 2: the first time in the history of sports, we got
[8:25] Speaker 2: to see players play in their home stadium but without
[8:29] Speaker 2: fans in the stands. Something about the fans being there
[8:33] Speaker 2: was changing the performance and the outcomes for the players,
[8:37] Speaker 2: which makes me believe that is one of two things
[8:39] Speaker 2: that either they believe that they're not alone, or they
[8:43] Speaker 2: believe that people are for them, not against them. And
[8:45] Speaker 2: you can see when people start to boo in the stadium,
[8:48] Speaker 2: the performance actually starts to drop for the home team
[8:50] Speaker 2: in most of the cases, right, So what you're seeing
[8:52] Speaker 2: is either way, beliefs seem to be predictive of the
[8:57] Speaker 2: future outcomes in a way that we didn't realize what
[8:59] Speaker 2: was happening before. And one last thing I thought was fascinating.
[9:02] Speaker 2: I learned this while writing the book. I started looking
[9:04] Speaker 2: up superstitions, which of course are beliefs that athletes have
[9:08] Speaker 2: that they think will affect the outcome. And what I
[9:10] Speaker 2: found was that Michael Jordan, he used to believe that
[9:13] Speaker 2: if he wore his UNC college shorts underneath his professional
[9:17] Speaker 2: Chicago Bulls shorts, so he was wearing two pairs of
[9:20] Speaker 2: shorts that increase his likelihood of winning. So for his
[9:24] Speaker 2: professional career, he didn't wear one set of shorts. He
[9:28] Speaker 2: wore two sets of shorts. And the other hilarious part
[9:31] Speaker 2: was that the UNC shorts were just slightly longer than
[9:35] Speaker 2: the Chicago Bulls shorts, so he asked for baggier, longer shorts,
[9:39] Speaker 2: which actually became the fashion. So you know, if you
[9:43] Speaker 2: talk to Michael Jordan, I'm sure he would tell you
[9:45] Speaker 2: that he wins because of his you know, never die
[9:47] Speaker 2: mentality or is insane skill sets. But I bet if
[9:51] Speaker 2: his UNC shorts were missing before that game, he would
[9:53] Speaker 2: just freak out. And the reason for that is that
[9:56] Speaker 2: our beliefs we know have a long term outcome, right,
[10:00] Speaker 2: short term and long term outcome, and.
[10:02] Speaker 1: So let's turn to this question of how beliefs can
[10:05] Speaker 1: actually shape the outcomes, because I think it's really powerful.
[10:07] Speaker 1: One of the things you've noticed that beliefs can shape
[10:10] Speaker 1: how we allocate attention, and that matters. You mentioned a
[10:13] Speaker 1: funny study by Richard Weisman that used a newspaper setup.
[10:15] Speaker 1: Can you tell me about that study.
[10:17] Speaker 2: Yes, that's a funny one. If our attention for the
[10:19] Speaker 2: world is finite, there are brain resources or finite, then
[10:22] Speaker 2: what we attend to first becomes our reality, and the
[10:27] Speaker 2: allocation those resources happens through that lens to which we
[10:30] Speaker 2: view the world. But basically what he did was he
[10:32] Speaker 2: had students read through a newspaper and he asked them
[10:35] Speaker 2: to count the number of photographs they're in the newspaper,
[10:38] Speaker 2: and they get it correct in the allocated period of time,
[10:40] Speaker 2: then they get five pounds. It is done in the UK.
[10:43] Speaker 2: Right before taking the test, they gave him a short
[10:45] Speaker 2: battery of questions, and one of the questions was basically,
[10:48] Speaker 2: do you think that you're a lucky person? Do good
[10:50] Speaker 2: things just naturally happen to you? Do you expect good
[10:53] Speaker 2: things to happen in your life. There are questions about luck,
[10:56] Speaker 2: but it's also a proxy for optimism. But anyway, what
[10:58] Speaker 2: he found in the study was that after people responded
[11:01] Speaker 2: to that, they then go through and look for the
[11:03] Speaker 2: newspaper pictures on page two of everyone's newspaper, in big
[11:09] Speaker 2: bold letters, it says, stop the experiment now. If you
[11:12] Speaker 2: stop now, we'll give you ten pounds, so double the
[11:14] Speaker 2: outcome you would have if you just kept going. And
[11:17] Speaker 2: what he found was that the majority of the people
[11:19] Speaker 2: that claimed that they were lucky, the good things just
[11:22] Speaker 2: happened to them, they stopped the experiment and asked for
[11:25] Speaker 2: their money and got double the pay. The other ones
[11:28] Speaker 2: who claimed that the world doesn't move in their favor,
[11:31] Speaker 2: they don't expect good things to just happen to them,
[11:34] Speaker 2: the majority of them finished the experiment and got their
[11:36] Speaker 2: five pounds, and they got the right number of photographs,
[11:39] Speaker 2: but they didn't even see the possibility that was there
[11:41] Speaker 2: to get ten pounds and then this demonstration experiment. What
[11:45] Speaker 2: he was arguing was that when people believed that they
[11:47] Speaker 2: were lucky or that they were in an optimistic state,
[11:50] Speaker 2: their brain felt like it had enough resources to accomplish
[11:53] Speaker 2: the task, and then devoted more resources to look for
[11:55] Speaker 2: possibilities because you know they're there, you believe that they're there,
[11:59] Speaker 2: and when you look for possibilities, you're likelihood of pouncing
[12:01] Speaker 2: on them. Rises If you don't think there's possibilities, you
[12:04] Speaker 2: don't devote attentional resources there, and it shapes the outcome
[12:08] Speaker 2: within our lives. So yet another example of how the
[12:12] Speaker 2: lens to which you view the world might be continually
[12:15] Speaker 2: changing what happens. And if we could change the beliefs
[12:19] Speaker 2: we hold about the world from like only bad things
[12:22] Speaker 2: happen to me to I think as possible, good things
[12:25] Speaker 2: could happen or change as possible, then we might get
[12:27] Speaker 2: someone to apply for that job that they might not
[12:29] Speaker 2: have otherwise, or they might save more money, or they
[12:32] Speaker 2: might be able to look for a relationship when they're
[12:34] Speaker 2: feeling a.
[12:34] Speaker 1: Lowe And that gets to the next thing. You've argued
[12:37] Speaker 1: why beliefs change our performance because it also changes the
[12:40] Speaker 1: goals that we strive for. What do you mean here?
[12:42] Speaker 2: I think about this oftentimes as a parent. I live
[12:45] Speaker 2: in Dallas now. We moved here when our children were young,
[12:48] Speaker 2: and a lot of people around here sports is the
[12:51] Speaker 2: big thing. They've got private coaches for their kids, you know,
[12:54] Speaker 2: at four years old playing soccer, and a lot of
[12:58] Speaker 2: these kids and parents believe that their kid is going
[13:02] Speaker 2: to be the next you know, Michael Jordan. Right, He's
[13:04] Speaker 2: got to wear two pairs of shorts, but he's going
[13:06] Speaker 2: to be the next Michael Jordan. When you look at
[13:08] Speaker 2: the statistics for if my seven year old believes that
[13:12] Speaker 2: he or she's going to play professional sports, if you
[13:15] Speaker 2: round it to the nearest decimal point in the one hundreds,
[13:19] Speaker 2: it's so far down there. If we're rounding, it's basically
[13:22] Speaker 2: zero point zero zero percent. If someone makes it onto
[13:26] Speaker 2: a high school basketball team, their likelihood of making it
[13:29] Speaker 2: is point zero zero nine to make it into the NBA.
[13:32] Speaker 2: But if someone can make it into college and make
[13:35] Speaker 2: it to their senior year of playing, their likelihood goes
[13:38] Speaker 2: up to one point one percent. So if someone believes
[13:41] Speaker 2: I'm definitely going to become a professional athlete and that's
[13:43] Speaker 2: the end of their belief structure, stem I would assume
[13:47] Speaker 2: their likelihood is very low. What we look for when
[13:50] Speaker 2: we're looking and analyzing these beliefs and try and get
[13:52] Speaker 2: people too, is how do you find a way of
[13:54] Speaker 2: providing qualifiers and warrants in this So I know that
[13:59] Speaker 2: the likelihood is low, but I believe that if I
[14:01] Speaker 2: keep practicing and I listen to my coach and I
[14:04] Speaker 2: eat right and sleep right, I will increase the likelihood
[14:07] Speaker 2: of becoming a professional athlete that has some qualifiers to it.
[14:11] Speaker 2: Then make me feel like that belief might work out better. Also,
[14:14] Speaker 2: they could provide warrants like I was the best kid
[14:17] Speaker 2: on my team last year, I'm the best kid in
[14:19] Speaker 2: my school this year. I think I can be the
[14:21] Speaker 2: best kid in college. If someone's beliefs can get them
[14:25] Speaker 2: from high school basketball and point zeros around nine percent
[14:29] Speaker 2: to one point one percent at the end of college,
[14:32] Speaker 2: their belief and their actions that pull them through that
[14:36] Speaker 2: change their likelihood of becoming a professional athlete by twelve
[14:40] Speaker 2: thousand percent. So it doesn't sound big. It's still one
[14:44] Speaker 2: point one percent, but it's a massive change. And that's
[14:48] Speaker 2: what I'm trying to get people to realize in the
[14:50] Speaker 2: book is that beliefs don't guarantee outcomes, but they propel
[14:54] Speaker 2: us towards specific goals.
[14:56] Speaker 1: And in the example, you point out two different things
[14:59] Speaker 1: that we want to have in our beliefs to get
[15:00] Speaker 1: us towards those goals a little bit better. When is
[15:02] Speaker 1: this idea that you mentioned of warrants, this idea that
[15:05] Speaker 1: we have some reasons for our belief While it's not
[15:06] Speaker 1: just delusional that I think it could be an athlete,
[15:09] Speaker 1: I was the best kid on my team, right, we
[15:10] Speaker 1: want to kind of have reasons behind our beliefs. But
[15:13] Speaker 1: I think one that's even more important psychologically might be
[15:16] Speaker 1: this idea of qualifiers. These are kind of like these
[15:18] Speaker 1: if then statements. It's not just I'm going to become
[15:20] Speaker 1: a professional athlete. It's like, well, if I really study hard,
[15:23] Speaker 1: or if I follow what my coach says, And that
[15:25] Speaker 1: seems to be really important because it's pointing us towards
[15:28] Speaker 1: the action. It's not this naive hope. We're actually getting
[15:31] Speaker 1: towards an action that might help us be more likely
[15:34] Speaker 1: to achieve that goal and to actually have it come
[15:36] Speaker 1: true in our lives over time.
[15:38] Speaker 2: I think that's what we're looking for, is the cycle
[15:40] Speaker 2: between beliefs and actions. These qualifiers are saying if I
[15:44] Speaker 2: do something, so if a salesperson, for example, is like
[15:46] Speaker 2: I'm going to be the best salesperson here, but they
[15:49] Speaker 2: don't follow it up with if I make these calls,
[15:52] Speaker 2: if I'm okay getting no nine times out of ten,
[15:55] Speaker 2: if I learn this product better than anyone else, right,
[15:59] Speaker 2: then I'm going to have the outcome I want. I
[16:01] Speaker 2: see that so often in the business space is that
[16:02] Speaker 2: you get these leaders who try to pump you up
[16:05] Speaker 2: because they hear the beliefs are powerful. So then they're like,
[16:08] Speaker 2: I believe the you can hit X billion dollars by
[16:12] Speaker 2: year five, and I believe that we can hit these
[16:14] Speaker 2: sales target I know they're audacious, but I believe you
[16:17] Speaker 2: can hit these next year, and everyone's cheer for me.
[16:20] Speaker 2: There's no foothold for the brain to take the next step.
[16:24] Speaker 2: What that leader should be doing is providing both those
[16:27] Speaker 2: warrants and qualifiers. We've hit our sales targets last year,
[16:31] Speaker 2: if we make all these phone calls, if we learn
[16:35] Speaker 2: this new system and implement it well, if we are
[16:40] Speaker 2: able to connect with one another and not stay in
[16:42] Speaker 2: these silos. If we are able to do that, I
[16:45] Speaker 2: believe we can not only hit our sales targets, but
[16:47] Speaker 2: exceed them next year. Then the brain is not having
[16:50] Speaker 2: this irrational belief about the world that is pure hope
[16:53] Speaker 2: without any grounding. What we're looking for is grounding that
[16:56] Speaker 2: hope in previous action, but also in future pavior.
[17:01] Speaker 1: Our beliefs matter for our happiness and our success. That
[17:04] Speaker 1: much is clear, But which ones matter most? Which beliefs
[17:08] Speaker 1: really move the needle when it comes to our long
[17:10] Speaker 1: term well being? Sean and I will tackle those questions
[17:14] Speaker 1: when the Happiness Lab returns from the break. Happiness expert
[17:36] Speaker 1: Sean Aker is the author of a new book, The
[17:39] Speaker 1: Power of Beliefs, How strengthening seven core beliefs predicts greater
[17:43] Speaker 1: success and a better life. Today, we're walking through those
[17:46] Speaker 1: seven core beliefs and why they matter for our well
[17:49] Speaker 1: being and performance. The first core belief Sean focuses on
[17:53] Speaker 1: is a simple one. It's that our behavior matters. It's
[17:57] Speaker 1: also a belief that Sean has sometimes struggled to hold
[18:00] Speaker 1: on to in his own life.
[18:02] Speaker 2: I went through nearly three years of depression in my life,
[18:04] Speaker 2: and this actually happened back when I was at Harvard,
[18:06] Speaker 2: and there's loss of reasons for it. I think it
[18:08] Speaker 2: was actually a lack of social connection and also as
[18:11] Speaker 2: at the Divinity School, so I was challenging a lot
[18:13] Speaker 2: of my fundamental core constructs about the world. But what
[18:16] Speaker 2: happened in the midst of depression, especially at the bottom
[18:19] Speaker 2: of it, is you stop believing that any change is possible,
[18:22] Speaker 2: Like I will always be depressed. I don't even remember
[18:25] Speaker 2: how it got into the swamp, but there's no way
[18:26] Speaker 2: I'm getting back out. And then why would it matter
[18:29] Speaker 2: if I journal about a positive experience, or write down
[18:33] Speaker 2: things I'm grateful for, or write a two minute positive
[18:36] Speaker 2: email to someone else. I don't believe my behavior matters
[18:38] Speaker 2: because there's nothing I can do. And we see this
[18:40] Speaker 2: not just with depression. We see it when somebody tries
[18:43] Speaker 2: to diet multiple times and they've tried different fad diets
[18:48] Speaker 2: and they've tried different scientific diets and they didn't work.
[18:51] Speaker 2: So then they just stop. There's nothing I could do.
[18:53] Speaker 2: This is my genius, no ally, whatever I want. And
[18:55] Speaker 2: so what happens in that moment is when we believe
[18:57] Speaker 2: our behavior doesn't matter, you don't get any forward action,
[19:01] Speaker 2: and it causes a proalysis. It's actually, to me one
[19:05] Speaker 2: of the biggest differences between optimism and pessimism. A lot
[19:08] Speaker 2: of optimism is based not just upon thinking good things
[19:11] Speaker 2: will happen, but also that if you see a problem,
[19:15] Speaker 2: the pessimist believes that it's permanent, pervasive. Right, this problem
[19:18] Speaker 2: will continue to exist, There's nothing I can do. My
[19:20] Speaker 2: behavior doesn't matter. On the other side of it is optimist. Now,
[19:24] Speaker 2: irrational optimists don't even see the problems, so they don't change.
[19:27] Speaker 2: We're talking about more rational optimism, where they see a problem,
[19:30] Speaker 2: but they believe that eventually my behavior will matter if
[19:33] Speaker 2: linked to the right people within a system. So on
[19:36] Speaker 2: the one hand, if you have this belief that my
[19:38] Speaker 2: behavior doesn't matter, you get proalysis because it makes sense
[19:42] Speaker 2: there's nothing you can do. And that's what I think
[19:44] Speaker 2: we feel oftentimes when we watch the news. I mean
[19:46] Speaker 2: every news alert we get is a reminder, Hey, this
[19:49] Speaker 2: terrible thing happened. Also, you couldn't stop this. I'll text
[19:53] Speaker 2: you in a little bit with the new news alert. Right,
[19:55] Speaker 2: I'll just remind you again that your behavior doesn't matter.
[19:57] Speaker 2: And of course our behavior doesn't matter. There we have
[20:00] Speaker 2: to be rational about where it does matter. But it
[20:02] Speaker 2: starts to bleed over to other aspects of our life.
[20:04] Speaker 2: And when someone believes that their behavior doesn't matter, they
[20:07] Speaker 2: don't take the forward steps. So actually, on the core,
[20:10] Speaker 2: I think tenets of this book is that if change
[20:13] Speaker 2: is going to be possible, if we're going to move
[20:15] Speaker 2: from the status quo to a better place, we need
[20:16] Speaker 2: to find a way of actually believing their behavior matters
[20:19] Speaker 2: and recognizing that it doesn't in most places. So we
[20:22] Speaker 2: need to actually identify those places where it has mattered
[20:25] Speaker 2: in the past, identify the places where it does matter,
[20:28] Speaker 2: and then focus our attentional resources there. If you have
[20:30] Speaker 2: the same world but a different belief, you'll get a
[20:33] Speaker 2: different outcome.
[20:34] Speaker 1: The next belief you recommend is one that we talk
[20:36] Speaker 1: a lot about on the Happiness Lab. It's the importance
[20:38] Speaker 1: of gratitude. Noticing all the blessings in life. How can
[20:41] Speaker 1: gratitude give us a competitive advantage?
[20:44] Speaker 2: So there is so much research on this. Right when
[20:47] Speaker 2: someone feels positive, it seems to increase their long term outcomes,
[20:52] Speaker 2: business outcomes and educational outcomes. And one of the greatest
[20:55] Speaker 2: ways of being able to do that is to shift
[20:57] Speaker 2: our lenses away from here's what I'm missing out on
[21:00] Speaker 2: to here's what I'm grateful for in the present. And
[21:03] Speaker 2: I think at the base of fomo, the fear of
[21:05] Speaker 2: missing out is the belief that I would be grateful
[21:09] Speaker 2: if I was somewhere else. If I could just get
[21:11] Speaker 2: that New York Times bestseller, just get that spouse, or
[21:14] Speaker 2: just have that incredible vacation, or just have a crypto
[21:19] Speaker 2: billionaire portfolio, then life would be great. And what happens
[21:22] Speaker 2: is it integrates our experience of the present because our
[21:25] Speaker 2: brain is focused on what we're missing out on, and
[21:27] Speaker 2: what we're really missing out on is what we're grateful
[21:29] Speaker 2: for in the present. So when our brain is grateful
[21:32] Speaker 2: for what we have in the present, doesn't mean that
[21:34] Speaker 2: we're grateful for If someone's going through domestic abuse or
[21:38] Speaker 2: they're grateful for trauma they experienced, right, it doesn't mean
[21:41] Speaker 2: that they're grateful for a sickness that they have. They
[21:43] Speaker 2: might be grateful for the benefits. Like I've worked with
[21:45] Speaker 2: a breast cancer support group. This woman stood up at
[21:48] Speaker 2: the beginning of I'll Always Remember. She got up and
[21:49] Speaker 2: she said, I wish I didn't have cancer, but because
[21:53] Speaker 2: of this cancer, I have the deepest social connection that
[21:55] Speaker 2: I've ever had. It was identifying that, Yes, so there's
[21:58] Speaker 2: inherently negative things in our life, inequality, discrimination, racism, trauma,
[22:02] Speaker 2: but in the midst of that, if we don't see anything,
[22:06] Speaker 2: we're grateful for there's no meaning or joy that can
[22:09] Speaker 2: accelerate our brain out of that situation. And when you
[22:12] Speaker 2: pair those two together, the belief that our behavior matters
[22:15] Speaker 2: and that there's some things I'm grateful for, the gratitude
[22:18] Speaker 2: becomes the fuel for then taking that next step forward.
[22:22] Speaker 1: Another next step forward we can take is to cultivate
[22:25] Speaker 1: a sense that we matter. We need to develop a
[22:27] Speaker 1: sense of self worth. Why is mattering such a powerful
[22:30] Speaker 1: fuel for our action?
[22:32] Speaker 2: So if you call into a national suicide hotline, that's
[22:37] Speaker 2: the very first thing that they try to make you
[22:38] Speaker 2: feel is that you matter. They immediately say, thank you
[22:41] Speaker 2: so much for calling. This was such a brave step.
[22:44] Speaker 2: You are not alone in the midst of this, and
[22:46] Speaker 2: I'm here with you right at this moment. I think
[22:49] Speaker 2: everyone experiences it, this feeling of that they don't matter
[22:52] Speaker 2: for some reason. And I'm going to give an example
[22:54] Speaker 2: that makes me sound not great, but I think it's
[22:57] Speaker 2: important because it reveals something interesting about the way that
[23:00] Speaker 2: we look at the world. So eight years ago and
[23:03] Speaker 2: when my last book came out, called Big Potential, that week,
[23:07] Speaker 2: my wife, Michelle Gielan, got rushed to the hospital. Her
[23:11] Speaker 2: water had broke three months early, so we were supposed
[23:13] Speaker 2: to have a daughter in April. My book came out
[23:16] Speaker 2: the first week of February, and three days later, after
[23:19] Speaker 2: being rushed to the hospital, they rushed her into emergency surgery,
[23:22] Speaker 2: and we almost lost my daughter three times in a
[23:24] Speaker 2: two day period of time. She kept sparking back to life.
[23:27] Speaker 2: Her name is Zoe sparks Acre. She just turned eight,
[23:30] Speaker 2: and she's amazing. But instead of going on this book tour,
[23:33] Speaker 2: I decided to take a step back and just be
[23:36] Speaker 2: there as a father for my kids, which at first
[23:39] Speaker 2: seemed great, But then I just started to disappear a
[23:41] Speaker 2: little bit, and I watched all these opportunities go by
[23:44] Speaker 2: that I wanted. I had this moment where I was
[23:47] Speaker 2: out giving a talk at Target headquarters and I read
[23:51] Speaker 2: these two news alerts. It was about two of our contemporaries.
[23:54] Speaker 2: One got a New York Times bestseller number one, and
[23:57] Speaker 2: then another one who's now at Harvard, got to write
[24:00] Speaker 2: a book with Oprah. And I used to be at
[24:02] Speaker 2: Harvard and I was doing work with Oprah, and I
[24:05] Speaker 2: got replaced, and I thought to myself, you know what,
[24:10] Speaker 2: I don't matter as much. And I remember getting in
[24:12] Speaker 2: the car going to that talk, and I just stared
[24:14] Speaker 2: out the window and I felt that the world was
[24:16] Speaker 2: passing me by. And obnoxious and nonsensical and self indulgent.
[24:22] Speaker 2: As those feelings were, I felt like it was true.
[24:25] Speaker 2: And you know what, I was blind to the reason
[24:28] Speaker 2: I stopped doing the work and the good that I
[24:31] Speaker 2: had done. I couldn't see any of that. All I
[24:32] Speaker 2: felt like was that's it. I don't really manage the world.
[24:36] Speaker 2: So the driver took me to the wrong location and
[24:39] Speaker 2: I called the target people and they said, okay, just
[24:41] Speaker 2: stay right there, we'll send somebody. And this guy who
[24:44] Speaker 2: had blue hair, that's all I remember about him, because
[24:46] Speaker 2: it happened so fast, walked up next to me and
[24:48] Speaker 2: they said, are you sean Akuor I was like yes,
[24:50] Speaker 2: I thought he was the escort to take me to
[24:52] Speaker 2: the event. And he shook my hand and he said,
[24:55] Speaker 2: I just want to let you know that your book
[24:57] Speaker 2: saved my life. That moment, I felt like it was
[25:00] Speaker 2: this message of not only hope, but that you matter it.
[25:03] Speaker 2: And when that happened, suddenly I could see the meaning
[25:06] Speaker 2: in my talk. I felt like my lens was less cloudy.
[25:09] Speaker 2: I still felt replaced in this world. I still felt
[25:12] Speaker 2: envious of other opportunities, but I took a step back
[25:18] Speaker 2: intentionally because of my family and it mattered to them.
[25:21] Speaker 2: So once I saw that, my mood, my outcome, the
[25:24] Speaker 2: way I did the talk changed dramatically. But in that moment,
[25:27] Speaker 2: I needed to see that I mattered. And I think
[25:29] Speaker 2: that what happens so often is when we're on social
[25:32] Speaker 2: media and we see that all these other people are
[25:35] Speaker 2: important or better than us a different things, we start
[25:37] Speaker 2: to not just feel envious, we start to feel like
[25:39] Speaker 2: I don't matter, and that actually changes the actions we
[25:42] Speaker 2: take next and predicts our long term future. And when
[25:45] Speaker 2: people believe that they matter, they live longer, they do
[25:48] Speaker 2: better at work, and their experience of the present improves.
[25:52] Speaker 2: So they can see why they matter because they're a
[25:54] Speaker 2: parent or a good friend, or a good teammate or
[25:57] Speaker 2: a good author, whatever it is that causes them to
[26:00] Speaker 2: feel like they matter.
[26:02] Speaker 1: So that's belief number three. We should cultivate our own mattering.
[26:05] Speaker 1: The next belief you recommend is to shift from a
[26:07] Speaker 1: taking mindset to a giving It's this belief that you
[26:10] Speaker 1: have something to give. Why is generosity a strategy for resilience?
[26:14] Speaker 2: So this is the belief that I have something to
[26:17] Speaker 2: give versus I have nothing. Immediately people start thinking about money, right,
[26:21] Speaker 2: They're like, Oh, I don't have money to give. But
[26:24] Speaker 2: one I'm really talking about it is actually time and attention.
[26:27] Speaker 2: So what happens oftentimes does we feel like I'm too busy,
[26:30] Speaker 2: I'm swamped right now. I've got so much going on,
[26:32] Speaker 2: so I don't have time to be nice to this
[26:34] Speaker 2: random person on the bus. I don't have time to
[26:36] Speaker 2: be nice to the subordinate who I'm telling to do
[26:38] Speaker 2: this job. Just do the job and get this done
[26:40] Speaker 2: so I can go home. Or I don't have time
[26:42] Speaker 2: to know volunteer, like I barely have time for myself.
[26:46] Speaker 2: What happens in those moments is when people feel like
[26:49] Speaker 2: they don't have time or money or resources or attention,
[26:53] Speaker 2: it changes how they're acting to other people. It changes
[26:56] Speaker 2: the social relations that are occurring, but also the choices
[26:59] Speaker 2: that we make.
[26:59] Speaker 1: This is something that we know from really old social
[27:01] Speaker 1: psychology studies. The so called Good Samaritan Study tell me
[27:04] Speaker 1: about that one.
[27:05] Speaker 2: Yes, so this is one of my favorite studies. Basically,
[27:08] Speaker 2: they had people divinity school, these seminary students who were
[27:11] Speaker 2: asked to give a sermon across campus on a story
[27:15] Speaker 2: from the Bible about how there was an injured person
[27:18] Speaker 2: on the side of the road and two or three
[27:20] Speaker 2: people walk past and then help this person, and then
[27:22] Speaker 2: the person you wouldn't think would help this person, the Samaritan,
[27:24] Speaker 2: is the one who actually helped them. So they are
[27:27] Speaker 2: giving a sermon on taking care of people that other
[27:31] Speaker 2: people don't see, and they have to do it across campus,
[27:34] Speaker 2: and they have a couple of different conditions. One of
[27:37] Speaker 2: them is they tell them, you're running late. You have
[27:39] Speaker 2: to get over there as quickly as possible. The other
[27:41] Speaker 2: one is you have plenty of time. There's a Confederate
[27:43] Speaker 2: who's an undercover researcher who is coughing and leaning like
[27:48] Speaker 2: he's injured or sick or something's wrong with him, maybe
[27:50] Speaker 2: having a heart attack in a door cell on the
[27:53] Speaker 2: path to give this sermon on the good Samaritan. It's
[27:55] Speaker 2: literally the Good Samaritans story. And what they found was
[27:59] Speaker 2: that people, when they felt like they had time stopped
[28:01] Speaker 2: and helped them. But the vast majority of the people
[28:05] Speaker 2: who felt like they were in a time constrained position,
[28:08] Speaker 2: that they were too busy, don't help the person. So
[28:11] Speaker 2: they believe I do not have enough I do not
[28:14] Speaker 2: have enough time, and because of it, it changes our
[28:18] Speaker 2: fundamental core values about the world. These are people who've
[28:22] Speaker 2: dedicated their life to God. We're giving a sermon on
[28:25] Speaker 2: helping people that other people don't see, but just a
[28:29] Speaker 2: time constraint. Believing I don't have enough time changed how
[28:32] Speaker 2: generous and kind they were. So what we're looking at
[28:35] Speaker 2: is when people start to feel like I have nothing,
[28:38] Speaker 2: then they do nothing. They're like, I don't have a
[28:41] Speaker 2: million dollars to give to a charity, then they might
[28:43] Speaker 2: not give five dollars. Right If they feel like they
[28:45] Speaker 2: don't have time to go out to dinner with all
[28:47] Speaker 2: their friends, they might not send them a two minute text.
[28:51] Speaker 2: But when people feel like I have something to give,
[28:54] Speaker 2: you're telling your brain I do have some resources, which
[28:57] Speaker 2: means my behavior matters. I matter. In these situations, you
[29:00] Speaker 2: start to see how these beliefs start to reinforce one another.
[29:05] Speaker 1: It's time for another quick break, but stay tuned because
[29:07] Speaker 1: Sean and I still have more or core beliefs to unpack.
[29:10] Speaker 1: We'll also talk about what you can do to change
[29:12] Speaker 1: the beliefs that might be holding you down. The Happiness
[29:15] Speaker 1: lab will be back in a moment. So belief number
[29:36] Speaker 1: five is something else we talk a lot about on
[29:38] Speaker 1: the Happiness Lab, this importance of connection. We need to
[29:41] Speaker 1: believe that we're not alone. What's some of the evidence
[29:43] Speaker 1: that this belief helps us perform better?
[29:46] Speaker 2: So one of my favorite studies is one I'm sure
[29:49] Speaker 2: you're familiar with these research are not in Virginia, the
[29:51] Speaker 2: Perception study, where they if you look at a hill
[29:54] Speaker 2: while standing alone and you're total you a climate, that
[29:57] Speaker 2: hill looks fifteen percent steeper compared to if the participants
[30:01] Speaker 2: standing next to someone else who they're told will climb
[30:03] Speaker 2: the hill with them. And there's different versions and variations
[30:06] Speaker 2: on that. You see both physical spaces about also emotional spaces. Right,
[30:10] Speaker 2: it validates the role of mentors or parents, or if
[30:13] Speaker 2: someone's going through depression having a friend in those places.
[30:16] Speaker 2: And my father was a perception researcher at Baylor. He
[30:19] Speaker 2: was a neuroscientist there, and when I told him about
[30:22] Speaker 2: the study, it was amazing because in many ways he
[30:25] Speaker 2: knew that this was the case that our perception in
[30:28] Speaker 2: the world is subjective, not objective. Somebody can objectively be
[30:32] Speaker 2: surrounded by friends who care about them, and love them.
[30:35] Speaker 2: But if they believe that they're alone and people really
[30:37] Speaker 2: don't like them, the perception of that social support changes
[30:42] Speaker 2: the impact upon it, which is part of the problem
[30:44] Speaker 2: of depression sometimes is we lose that ability to see
[30:47] Speaker 2: that social connection or perceive the world like other people do.
[30:50] Speaker 2: But the reason I like this is if a hill
[30:53] Speaker 2: looks steeper to me when I'm feeling alone, when I
[30:57] Speaker 2: believe that I'm alone, then my likelihood of wanting to
[31:00] Speaker 2: climb that hill declines. I might not take that next challenge,
[31:03] Speaker 2: I might not apply for that next job, I might
[31:05] Speaker 2: not apply for that college or for that scholarship, which
[31:08] Speaker 2: means the world has being warped, but unconsciously we don't
[31:11] Speaker 2: even know that it's happening, and warping sounds like it's negative.
[31:15] Speaker 2: But if you could have a corrective lens, those hills
[31:18] Speaker 2: start to collapse, or my likelihood of being able to
[31:21] Speaker 2: move forward rises, or my ability to overcome depression rises.
[31:25] Speaker 2: The other study that I pulled was not on human
[31:27] Speaker 2: as an entomology study, but at MIT. These researchers found
[31:31] Speaker 2: that fireflies, when they light up individually randomly, there's success
[31:34] Speaker 2: rate of reproduction per night is three percent, that's where
[31:36] Speaker 2: it caps out. But two separate species on opposite sides
[31:40] Speaker 2: of the globe separately evolved to have this where they
[31:43] Speaker 2: can time their pulses of light to the millisecond using
[31:46] Speaker 2: these neurotransmitters. So instead of lighting up individually randomly, they
[31:49] Speaker 2: all light up together and they all go dark together,
[31:52] Speaker 2: which is beautiful but not that smart, right, Because we
[31:54] Speaker 2: live in the survival of the fittest world. You got
[31:56] Speaker 2: to be the fastest, brightest light shining, otherwise you'll never
[31:59] Speaker 2: be successful. Then you'll never be rich, then you can
[32:02] Speaker 2: never be happy. That's what Darwin was talking about. What
[32:05] Speaker 2: I would argue is that I think we're not living
[32:07] Speaker 2: in this world of survival of the fittest. We're living
[32:09] Speaker 2: in a world of survival the best fit, best fit
[32:11] Speaker 2: with the ecosystem we find ourselves in. And what happens
[32:14] Speaker 2: is that when these bugs started to light up together,
[32:17] Speaker 2: their success rate goes from three percent to eighty two
[32:20] Speaker 2: percent per bug. It's not like one bug does better,
[32:23] Speaker 2: the entire group of them starts to do better. I
[32:25] Speaker 2: don't know what a group of lighting bugs it's called it.
[32:27] Speaker 2: There's probably a fun word for it. But when they
[32:29] Speaker 2: let up together. The light became brighter, you could see
[32:32] Speaker 2: them further away. This is exactly what we see in
[32:34] Speaker 2: human studies. You're finding a way of lighting up together
[32:36] Speaker 2: and you take the cap off your potential. So when
[32:38] Speaker 2: people feel like they're alone, not only do they not
[32:40] Speaker 2: take steps forward, but they're underperforming the potential they have,
[32:44] Speaker 2: and those moments shape the long term outcomes from everything
[32:48] Speaker 2: from longevity to their business outcomes.
[32:51] Speaker 1: The penultimate belief you recommend involves how we think about
[32:53] Speaker 1: our work. You've argued that we need to think about
[32:56] Speaker 1: it is a bit more meaningful. Share some of the
[32:58] Speaker 1: results showing that the meaning we have behind our work
[33:00] Speaker 1: seems to matter for our productivity.
[33:02] Speaker 2: When someone perceives that their work is meaningful, they're engaged
[33:06] Speaker 2: with the task rises dramatically. They feel like that they
[33:08] Speaker 2: met I might believe that my behavior matters, but I
[33:11] Speaker 2: might be doing things I feel like are not meaningful.
[33:14] Speaker 2: And if I take two employees and give them both
[33:17] Speaker 2: a belief that their behavior matters, but only one beliefs
[33:20] Speaker 2: that this work is meaningful, you'll get a split in
[33:23] Speaker 2: their engagement levels, the retension rates, their success rates, long term,
[33:26] Speaker 2: their ability to succeed not just in the business space,
[33:30] Speaker 2: but students feel this. So one of the studies that
[33:32] Speaker 2: I pulled into the book showed that if you have
[33:36] Speaker 2: low income students that were struggling, if you could make
[33:40] Speaker 2: the connection between the work that they're doing right now
[33:43] Speaker 2: and why it's meaningful to an outcome later in their
[33:46] Speaker 2: life like a job or an income level or stability
[33:49] Speaker 2: later in life. Once you made that connection, their grades
[33:52] Speaker 2: start to improve compared to the control group that you
[33:54] Speaker 2: just left at neutral. So seeing that pathway of why
[33:57] Speaker 2: this is meaningful makes me take the next step forward,
[34:00] Speaker 2: and it also causes such a negative drop. When we
[34:03] Speaker 2: feel like this work is not meaningful, we feel drained, right.
[34:06] Speaker 2: That's one of the fastest ways to fatigue. The brain
[34:09] Speaker 2: remind them that this is a repetitive action that has
[34:11] Speaker 2: no longer meaning, and as soon as you do that,
[34:14] Speaker 2: you get a negative outcome. There's so many different examples
[34:16] Speaker 2: of this. In the midst of high levels of burnout
[34:18] Speaker 2: in the hospital systems we were working with in the
[34:21] Speaker 2: middle of COVID, one of the things that one of
[34:23] Speaker 2: the groups decided to do was when kids would have
[34:26] Speaker 2: to go for these transfusions, they would wheel them down
[34:28] Speaker 2: the hallway in the wheelchair. They're hunched over there going
[34:31] Speaker 2: for this painful event. They read through some of this
[34:33] Speaker 2: literature they talked about, and one of the things that
[34:35] Speaker 2: they decided to do is to get motorized jeeps and
[34:38] Speaker 2: they spray paint in the orange and the kid could
[34:41] Speaker 2: drive this motorized jeep down the hallway to what is
[34:45] Speaker 2: inherently a negative and traumatic event that most kids don't
[34:49] Speaker 2: have to deal with, and they do, but the pathway
[34:51] Speaker 2: to it is different. They're smiling, they're honking at the
[34:54] Speaker 2: other nurses and staff. But while the nurses and staff
[34:56] Speaker 2: are seeing this, they're seeing this meaningful impact that's happening there.
[35:00] Speaker 2: And one of the things we found is when people
[35:02] Speaker 2: saw meeting in their work, patience, safety, and satisfaction rates
[35:06] Speaker 2: improved dramatically. So it wasn't just my life is meaningful
[35:09] Speaker 2: and it's a self indulgent response to the world. Feeling
[35:13] Speaker 2: like your work is meaningful actually improve patient care.
[35:17] Speaker 1: And that gets to the final belief you say is
[35:20] Speaker 1: so important for flourishing and for our productivity, we need
[35:23] Speaker 1: to believe that it's not all about us. We need
[35:25] Speaker 1: to find some belief in the transcendent. Why does this
[35:28] Speaker 1: belief especially help us in the worst of times.
[35:31] Speaker 2: So the belief I framed that as is a belief
[35:33] Speaker 2: that there's something greater than me. And so when somebody
[35:36] Speaker 2: hears me frame it like that, they might be like, well, Sean,
[35:39] Speaker 2: you just mean a god, right that you believe in
[35:41] Speaker 2: a god, or you don't. But someone might believe that
[35:44] Speaker 2: there's something greater than them, and it's justice or nature
[35:48] Speaker 2: or karma or genuine connection or energy or the universe.
[35:54] Speaker 2: They might be completely framed differently, But when they believe
[35:57] Speaker 2: that there's something greater than them, it does some pretty
[35:59] Speaker 2: important things. One of the things we kept finding is
[36:02] Speaker 2: that from both religious and non religious academics, they found
[36:06] Speaker 2: this to be one of the greatest predictors of human
[36:08] Speaker 2: flourishing a belief that there's something greater than them, their
[36:11] Speaker 2: longevity improves dramatically, their happiness levels rise, altruism rises, all
[36:17] Speaker 2: those other six beliefs you find being impacted by this
[36:20] Speaker 2: final belief that when you believe that there's something greater
[36:22] Speaker 2: than you, you feel like, maybe I'm not alone, maybe
[36:26] Speaker 2: my behavior matters, maybe I matter, I have things to
[36:29] Speaker 2: be grateful for, and it shapes what happens next.
[36:32] Speaker 1: So all of these beliefs seem to have these big
[36:34] Speaker 1: effects on our performance, But is there actually any evidence
[36:37] Speaker 1: that we can change our beliefs. How do we know
[36:39] Speaker 1: that that's really possible.
[36:40] Speaker 2: Beliefs can change instantaneously overnight. When our daughter Zoe was
[36:45] Speaker 2: born three months early, my beliefs about what was important,
[36:48] Speaker 2: what I wanted to be doing, changed radically. I've talked
[36:51] Speaker 2: to the doctors who said, you know, they'll see somebody
[36:53] Speaker 2: who's negative and selfish, and then they go through a
[36:58] Speaker 2: car accident in their fifties, traumatic car accident, and one
[37:01] Speaker 2: person walks away from is like, this is exactly what
[37:03] Speaker 2: I expected to happen in life, and I never want
[37:05] Speaker 2: to get into a car again. I'm afraid to drive.
[37:07] Speaker 2: And then somebody else who was negative or self centered,
[37:10] Speaker 2: they'd get into a traumatic car accident, and then for
[37:12] Speaker 2: some reason, on the backside of this, they feel like
[37:15] Speaker 2: I have a whole new lease on life. They become
[37:17] Speaker 2: more altruistic, they invest more in their kids, they do
[37:19] Speaker 2: more meaningful things at work. But the change there was
[37:23] Speaker 2: a traumatic event. How much more so could a positive
[37:26] Speaker 2: event create a positive impact upon people's lives. And that's
[37:29] Speaker 2: one of the things I looked at. And early on
[37:31] Speaker 2: in the book was I went on a hike with
[37:33] Speaker 2: our son. It was a long eight hour hike and
[37:36] Speaker 2: we got stuck up on a mountain in New Hampshire
[37:38] Speaker 2: with nothing. We didn't know we were gonna get stuck.
[37:40] Speaker 2: We started an eight hour hike at nine am and
[37:42] Speaker 2: we finished at eleven the next day, and we found
[37:45] Speaker 2: an emergency hut and it was thirty four degrees on
[37:48] Speaker 2: top of this mountain. And I'm actually more of a
[37:50] Speaker 2: helicopter parent. Although the story doesn't sound like it sounds
[37:52] Speaker 2: like somebod should call child Protective Services, but I would
[37:56] Speaker 2: always like, watch out for this. I patted our whole
[37:59] Speaker 2: house within an inch of its life, right like, everything
[38:02] Speaker 2: is padded. And the next day we hike back down
[38:05] Speaker 2: and we got back to our rental place and there
[38:07] Speaker 2: was this little board that went over this creek at
[38:10] Speaker 2: this rental house that we had, And before the hike,
[38:13] Speaker 2: I had told my son multiple night every time he
[38:15] Speaker 2: crossed that, I'd be like, hey, be careful when you
[38:17] Speaker 2: cross that board because it's gonna tip and you're gonna
[38:19] Speaker 2: fall into that creek. And my brain instantaneously thought he
[38:23] Speaker 2: had forty thousand steps on his footbit over uneven ground,
[38:28] Speaker 2: spent overnight in freezing temperatures, and made it down a mountain,
[38:32] Speaker 2: and my brain shifted and it was like, he's gonna
[38:36] Speaker 2: be fine. He walked across and he was fine, and
[38:38] Speaker 2: we went back to school. His beliefs had changed, and
[38:41] Speaker 2: he told the teacher, I'm a hiker. We have been
[38:43] Speaker 2: on dozens of hikes before, but this one, He's like,
[38:46] Speaker 2: I'm a hiker now. My beliefs about parenting, my son's
[38:50] Speaker 2: beliefs about who he was as a person, my beliefs
[38:52] Speaker 2: about what I felt like I was missing out on
[38:54] Speaker 2: and what I was grateful for, changed overnight with a
[38:57] Speaker 2: single event, Just like with a car accident.
[38:59] Speaker 1: I'm guessing lots of listeners don't necessarily want to get
[39:02] Speaker 1: trapped on the mountain to change their beliefs. Are there
[39:04] Speaker 1: things we could do at the local level to start
[39:06] Speaker 1: shifting some of these things around today?
[39:08] Speaker 2: So I went back and looked at how do people
[39:11] Speaker 2: get people to believe something politically or in religion? And
[39:15] Speaker 2: I found that there was a series of patterns that
[39:17] Speaker 2: I kept seeing over and over again. They had a
[39:19] Speaker 2: common text. So whether that common text is a US
[39:23] Speaker 2: constitution or is the Koran or the Bible or Plato, right,
[39:28] Speaker 2: they share the same language. If you want to change beliefs,
[39:31] Speaker 2: in short, you change the text, You change the language
[39:35] Speaker 2: that people hold about the world. You change the sources
[39:37] Speaker 2: of information, right, so you get a completely different belief system.
[39:41] Speaker 2: If you're watching CNN versus New York Times versus Fox
[39:44] Speaker 2: versus you're on Extra Twitter, right, completely different outcomes based
[39:48] Speaker 2: upon those sources. From the psychology side, you change what
[39:51] Speaker 2: part of the brain is processing the world, and you
[39:53] Speaker 2: change what actions create that virtuous cycle, that repetitive behavior
[39:58] Speaker 2: that leads to some sort of interaction that creates the
[40:01] Speaker 2: ripple effect into the community. So something very practical and
[40:04] Speaker 2: easy to do is about language. So where our words go,
[40:07] Speaker 2: our brains go as well, and we can shape and prime,
[40:10] Speaker 2: oftentimes outcomes based upon what we're saying. Some people do
[40:13] Speaker 2: pausitive mantras they feel sometimes hokey to people. But I
[40:17] Speaker 2: found that we were actually doing a lot of negative mantras.
[40:19] Speaker 2: I was doing some of my life. Every time I
[40:20] Speaker 2: get a phone call someone hire me to talk about happiness,
[40:23] Speaker 2: I'd be like, I'm so busy, I'm so sorry, I'm
[40:26] Speaker 2: so swamped I've got so much going on, my head's
[40:28] Speaker 2: barely above water. And I was repeating this mantra of
[40:31] Speaker 2: how I do not have enough time, which is one
[40:33] Speaker 2: of the core beliefs that we talked about, but a
[40:36] Speaker 2: negative form. And what I realized was that we do
[40:38] Speaker 2: this in multip ways. When my kids get sick, they
[40:40] Speaker 2: don't tell me they're sick once. They tell me over
[40:42] Speaker 2: and over again, I'm sick, I'm sick, my throat hurts
[40:44] Speaker 2: my headers, I'm sick. And what happens is we need
[40:47] Speaker 2: to be authentic and being able to share with someone
[40:51] Speaker 2: what we're experiencing. But at some point there's a tip
[40:53] Speaker 2: over where the repetition of negative language causes a negative outcome.
[40:58] Speaker 2: It causes symptoms become more acute, we feel sicker, we
[41:01] Speaker 2: feel busier, we feel more fatigued in those moments. So
[41:04] Speaker 2: one of the easiest ways to shift beliefs is to
[41:06] Speaker 2: shift the language we're using and cut out some of
[41:09] Speaker 2: those negative mantras that we're using within our life. So
[41:11] Speaker 2: what we're looking for is are there things we could
[41:14] Speaker 2: do that change our lens long term? But also what
[41:18] Speaker 2: are those things we could start to do that have
[41:20] Speaker 2: an effect very quickly in our life. That shift from
[41:23] Speaker 2: I'm going to this talk and I don't matter too,
[41:26] Speaker 2: I'm going to this talk and I do matter right,
[41:28] Speaker 2: or I'm going to help this patient and this work
[41:30] Speaker 2: is meaningful versus I see the same thing every day
[41:33] Speaker 2: and it doesn't seem to help. Completely different outcomes, same world,
[41:36] Speaker 2: but different beliefs and a different outcome.
[41:40] Speaker 1: Beliefs aren't just abstract feelings about politics or religion. They
[41:44] Speaker 1: fundamentally guide the things we notice, the choices we make,
[41:47] Speaker 1: how we respond to setbacks, and how we shape our future.
[41:51] Speaker 1: Sean has shown that it's natural to let negative core
[41:54] Speaker 1: beliefs cloud your perception, but he's also learned that beliefs
[41:57] Speaker 1: aren't fixed. Small shifts in language, attention, gratitude, and connection
[42:02] Speaker 1: can change the way you move through the world and
[42:04] Speaker 1: the outcomes that you create for yourself. If you'd like
[42:07] Speaker 1: to learn more about how beliefs affect happiness and success,
[42:10] Speaker 1: check out Sean's new book, The Power of Beliefs, which
[42:13] Speaker 1: is out now. And finally, for those who are curious,
[42:16] Speaker 1: a group of lightning bugs is called a sparkle. If
[42:20] Speaker 1: you have thoughts about today's episode, we'd love to hear them.
[42:23] Speaker 1: You can email us at Happiness Lab at Pushkin dot
[42:26] Speaker 1: fm and leave our review to tell us what you think.
[42:29] Speaker 1: You can also sign up to learn more about the
[42:31] Speaker 1: science of happiness and join my free newsletter on my website,
[42:34] Speaker 1: Doctor Lauri Santos dot com. That's d R l A
[42:38] Speaker 1: U R I E S A N t O s
[42:40] Speaker 1: dot com. Next up in our series on spring Cleaning
[42:44] Speaker 1: your well Being, we're breaking down how to refresh your
[42:47] Speaker 1: relationship with negative emotions.
[42:50] Speaker 3: What is told to us by society about emotions in
[42:55] Speaker 3: what ways does that narrative actually not serve us infect
[43:00] Speaker 3: completely counter to making us strong and more resident, it
[43:02] Speaker 3: actually makes us more fragile.
[43:04] Speaker 1: That's all Next week on a Happiness Lab with me,
[43:07] Speaker 1: Doctor Lauri Santos

Shows are listed from Apple Podcasts' charts and directory, and Podcast Index where it is used. Every show and episode belongs to its publisher and plays from the publisher's own feed; this site hosts none of them.