# Am I a Bad Person, For Not Wanting To Help My Mother-in-Law?

An episode of [Suze Orman's Women & Money (And Everyone Smart Enough To Listen)](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1439621652), 23 Aug 2026, 37 min.

Audio: https://traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/2df1102a-5761-4c99-b489-aabd0161f8fe/44e0936e-923c-43c7-9e2a-aade00edf4d3/9903dc84-d7c9-4123-b0d2-b4ae014c0924/audio.mp3?utm_source=Podcast&in_playlist=4e05fb00-5a5b-4ed9-b353-aade00edf4dd

On this episode of Ask KT & Suze Anything, Suze answers questions about Social Security, layoffs and trusts. Plus, the importance of taking care of your elders. Learn more about the Ultimate Scam Protection here: SuzeOrman.com Watch Suze’s YouTube Channel Jumpstart financial wellness for your employees: https://bit.ly/SecureSave Protect your financial future with the Must Have Docs: https://bit.ly/3Vq1V3G Help with the Must Have Docs: • Email:support@musthavedocuments.zendesk.com • Phone: 888-510-0510 Get your savings going with Alliant Credit Union: https://bit.ly/3rg0Yio Get Suze’s special offers for podcast listeners at suzeorman.com/offer Join Suze’s Women & Money Community for FREE and ASK SUZE your questions which may just end up on the podcast. Download the app by following one of these links: CLICK HERE FOR APPLE: https://apple.co/2KcAHbH CLICK HERE FOR GOOGLE PLAY: https://bit.ly/3curfMI See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

## Transcript

[0:08] Suze: August 23, 2026. Welcome everybody to the Women and Money
[0:13] Suze: podcast and everybody smart enough to listen.
[0:18] Suze: KT, what you doing over there?
[0:20] KT: Are you ready? I'm ready.
[0:22] Suze: What are you ready for honey?
[0:23] KT: First, I'm gonna tell everyone it was a great week
[0:26] KT: we just had, a fabulous week.
[0:29] Suze: Tell everybody why.
[0:30] KT: Well, a number of reasons. Number one, for KT, I
[0:33] KT: went fishing, everyone.
[0:35] KT: I went fishing and I had a great time catching
[0:38] KT: some yellowtail snapper with my friend Andy and we had
[0:42] KT: a fabulous snapper dinner and I made some snapper sashimi
[0:47] KT: for Suze. It was a snap snap, snap...
[0:51] Suze: I have to tell you something.
[0:53] Suze: So they left at about 5:30, 6 o'clock in the morning, right?
[0:58] Suze: Andy for years has also been one of our drivers,
[1:02] Suze: but what Andy loves more than life itself is fishing.
[1:07] Suze: In fact, on his back, everybody, he has this big
[1:11] Suze: tattoo of a hook. It's, I mean, this boy is
[1:14] Suze: one of the best fishermen I've ever seen in my life.
[1:19] Suze: All right.
[1:20] Suze: So, Andy is now going to be the person who
[1:24] Suze: makes sure our boat is good and everything and takes
[1:26] Suze: KT out fishing because that, I'm not going to do that.
[1:31] Suze: KT needs somebody who knows where to take her. I
[1:34] Suze: don't know anything about the Florida waters. All right, but KT,
[1:38] Suze: I have to tell you something. So while you were
[1:40] Suze: out there with him, I'm texting him.
[1:44] Suze: Right? I'm saying, how's she doing?
[1:46] Suze: How's it going?
[1:47] KT: He said I was dialed in.
[1:49] Suze: Wait, wait, wait, right? It's, it's...
[1:51] KT: What did he tell you?
[1:52] Suze: Wait, it's like 110 degrees out there. Everybody is dying.
[1:57] Suze: One hour, two hours. They're out there like four hours
[2:00] Suze: and whatever.
[2:01] KT: What did he tell you?
[2:01] Suze: And he said she is one tough cookie, Suze. She
[2:08] Suze: has outlasted everybody, and I'm laughing to myself going like
[2:13] Suze: I didn't know that, of course I did so.
[2:16] Suze: Not bad for a 74 year old woman. What do
[2:19] Suze: you think?
[2:19] KT: I was catching.
[2:21] Suze: She was catching.
[2:22] KT: We were catching.
[2:22] Suze: We were catching. But a few more things before we
[2:25] Suze: begin this podcast. Number one: October 3rd and 4th, I
[2:31] Suze: am so excited because, as you may know, in the
[2:34] Suze: LA area there is going to be an incredible event
[2:39] Suze: all about empowerment.
[2:41] Suze: And I am speaking at it on October 4th, but
[2:46] Suze: all VIP tickets have already been sold out, but there
[2:50] Suze: are plenty of other tickets. I'm telling you, you should
[2:53] Suze: all go to Suze Orman.com/empower and check it out because
[2:59] Suze: if you're in the area, you should come.
[3:03] Suze: Especially if you can afford it. Just gonna say that,
[3:06] Suze: not that expensive now. It'll be $100 for two full days,
[3:13] Suze: which I think is pretty good.
[3:16] Suze: However, a little secret and I'm just gonna tell all
[3:19] Suze: of you that are listening after my talk is over
[3:24] Suze: we're doing a meet and greet for everybody. So hopefully
[3:29] Suze: if you're there I will absolutely get to meet you.
[3:33] KT: Wait, we have some other news...
[3:35] Suze: What KT?
[3:36] KT: In December.
[3:37] Suze: I love this.
[3:38] KT: Suze's dream is coming true, everyone. She's been wanting to
[3:41] KT: host a holiday party like no other, and she finally
[3:46] KT: did it. Storm Large, the lead singer from Pink Martini,
[3:50] KT: will be at Glazer Hall in West Palm Beach December
[3:55] KT: 19th for a party of all parties.
[3:59] KT: A Holiday party and Suze is making this one special event.
[4:05] KT: So go get tickets. Look it up. Check it out.
[4:08] KT: Storm is the best.
[4:10] Suze: She's over the top.
[4:11] KT: She's crazy, crazy, crazy.
[4:12] Suze: Well, not just crazy, very seriously, one of the most talented, vivacious, energetic.
[4:20] Suze: Singers I've ever heard in my entire life,
[4:23] KT: We love her music.
[4:23] Suze: Love her, love her. So to check out tickets, go
[4:27] Suze: to glazer G L A Z E R Hall.org and
[4:33] Suze: look at December 19th. Only 400 seats in the whole place.
[4:37] KT: Yeah, we'll see you there.
[4:39] KT: And trust me, it's gonna be a fun party.
[4:42] KT: It's gonna be fun.
[4:43] Suze: Gonna be a party. All right, KT. Are you ready
[4:48] Suze: to do the podcast.
[4:48] KT: I'm ready, Suze.
[4:50] Suze: All right, darling.
[4:50] KT: We've got a couple of great questions to begin with,
[4:53] KT: but on the Women and Money Community app, someone wrote
[4:57] KT: in and they were asking about last Sunday's podcast. You
[5:01] KT: gave great information and updates which gave us all a
[5:06] KT: great deal of hope and promise. The markets were doing
[5:09] KT: extremely well.
[5:09] KT: Well, and now there's a little bit of bumps in
[5:13] KT: the road and one of the questions was, Suze, you
[5:16] KT: kept saying, everyone tighten your seat belts and be ready
[5:20] KT: for September. We could have an unexpected change. So the
[5:26] KT: question is, do you think that's still gonna happen?
[5:28] Suze: Like, listen to me now, everybody, and listen very, very closely.
[5:33] Suze: I have no idea what's going to happen or not
[5:36] Suze: going to happen.
[5:38] Suze: However, things are still rocky everywhere. So when I say
[5:43] Suze: I feel really upbeat about the market and I give
[5:48] Suze: names of stocks or whatever it may be, it doesn't
[5:51] Suze: mean that those stocks go straight up from last Sunday
[5:56] Suze: or the stock market goes straight up from last Sunday.
[6:01] Suze: The market is always going to go up and then down,
[6:05] Suze: up and then down. So do I think that it
[6:09] Suze: is possible, like the end of August into September that
[6:13] Suze: we could hit a rough patch? I do. I think
[6:16] Suze: it's absolutely probable, so just know that, but the good
[6:22] Suze: news is you kind of want that to happen as
[6:25] Suze: these markets come down or the stocks that I am
[6:29] Suze: mentioning happen to come down.
[6:32] Suze: That's the time that you dollar cost average into them
[6:36] Suze: if you want to keep them, if you want to
[6:38] Suze: purchase them, or you've decided not to sell, and if
[6:41] Suze: you've decided not to sell, and they're down and you
[6:45] Suze: have extra money, you might want to buy more. So
[6:48] Suze: this market is never going to go straight up, but
[6:52] Suze: overall for this year, I am incredibly optimistic.
[6:58] Suze: And with a few bumps in the road, but I'm
[7:02] Suze: couldn't be happier about what I hope is gonna happen
[7:05] Suze: for the rest of this year and maybe next. All right, KT,
[7:09] Suze: next question.
[7:10] KT: From Rachel. She said, Hi, Suze and KT. I'm not
[7:14] KT: happy about this news.
[7:16] Suze: What news?
[7:17] KT: Ready?
[7:18] KT: Rachel said, I'm probably getting laid off at the end
[7:21] KT: of this month. I'm trying not to stress, but it
[7:25] KT: is stressful. I'll lose my paycheck, my benefits, and unvested RSUs.
[7:31] Suze: Do you know what RSUs are, KT?
[7:33] KT: Yeah, restricted stock units.
[7:35] Suze: Why do you know that?
[7:36] KT: Because I had them.
[7:40] KT: I had a lot of them.
[7:42] Suze: OK...
[7:42] KT: I have my emergency savings accounts. Thankfully. I wanna ask
[7:47] KT: about my 401k. It is with Fidelity. I've heard that
[7:51] KT: they will start charging me fees once I get laid off.
[7:55] Suze: How generous of them.
[7:56] KT: Is that true?
[7:57] Suze: I guess so.
[7:58] KT: So Suze, where's the best place to move my 401k
[8:02] KT: and how do I do it without creating any ill
[8:05] KT: effects or unnecessary fees or tax ramifications?
[8:10] KT: I did not think I'd be back in the job
[8:13] KT: market at age 55. Sigh. she wrote, sigh.
[8:17] Suze: Sigh.
[8:18] KT: You can do this, Rachel. I have faith in you.
[8:21] Suze: So a few things, Rachel, you need to be aware
[8:23] Suze: of before you do anything, which is this.
[8:27] Suze: When you leave service in the year, it doesn't matter
[8:31] Suze: if you're fired, you quit, whatever, when you leave service
[8:35] Suze: in the year you turn 55, they could have fired
[8:40] Suze: you in January. If you turned 55 December 31st of
[8:46] Suze: this year, it still counts.
[8:50] Suze: You get to do something known as the 55 rule,
[8:54] Suze: and what is that? Any money that is in a 401k,
[8:59] Suze: an employer sponsored plan of any kind.
[9:02] Suze: If you are 55 or older in the year you
[9:05] Suze: have left service, you can take any money that's in
[9:10] Suze: that 401k out without the 10% penalty. Obviously, you'll still
[9:17] Suze: have to pay ordinary income tax on it because you
[9:20] Suze: didn't do the Roth 401k like I told you to do,
[9:23] Suze: but that is besides the point.
[9:25] Suze: That's just a whole another story. However, you won't have
[9:29] Suze: to pay the 10% penalty. So if I were you,
[9:34] Suze: this is what I would do, because we don't know
[9:37] Suze: how long it's gonna take you to find another job.
[9:40] Suze: We don't know how long your emergency savings account is
[9:43] Suze: really going to last. So listen closely. Decide on an
[9:48] Suze: amount of money that you want to leave in your
[9:52] Suze: 401k that you know you can get at and only
[9:57] Suze: pay income tax on it.
[9:59] Suze: The rest, whatever that amount is, the rest you should
[10:03] Suze: do an IRA rollover with it and you can do
[10:07] Suze: that at Fidelity and therefore you have protected it against
[10:12] Suze: taxes even though you've moved it, you're not gonna have
[10:15] Suze: to pay any charges on it because you're no longer
[10:18] Suze: an employee of that. You're only going to pay fees
[10:21] Suze: on the amount you left in the 401k, that that
[10:25] Suze: amount might be worth it for you to know you
[10:28] Suze: can access that money.
[10:30] Suze: And that's what you should do as soon as you
[10:34] Suze: get another job.
[10:37] Suze: If you want, you can then transfer what's left in
[10:41] Suze: that 401k to your new employer's 401k and if you want,
[10:48] Suze: take the money that you did the IRA rollover with
[10:52] Suze: and transfer that back into your new employer's 401k plan.
[10:58] Suze: Make sure, however, these are all custodian to custodian transfer.
[11:04] Suze: Which means they do not send you a check and
[11:07] Suze: then you give it to somebody. They send it directly
[11:10] Suze: from your 401k to your IRA and then if you're
[11:15] Suze: going to change back from your IRA rollover back to
[11:18] Suze: your 401k. And by the way,
[11:22] Suze: When you get a new employer, can you just do
[11:25] Suze: a Roth 401k? Can you just do me a favor...
[11:28] KT: Or you'll get a slap down.
[11:30] Suze: No, but here's the thing, if people just would just
[11:34] Suze: do that, what's wrong with them? What's wrong with them?
[11:38] Suze: Don't you understand when things like this happen, you don't
[11:42] Suze: have to worry about the 10% penalty. You don't have
[11:45] Suze: to worry about taxes. You don't really have to worry
[11:47] Suze: about anything. Don't be stupid people. All right, next, KT.
[11:53] KT: Next question is from Julie. She said, hi, KT and Suze.
[11:57] KT: I know you get a bazillion questions, she said bazillion,
[12:02] KT: so I will make mine short.
[12:03] Suze: By the way, before you go on, if you have
[12:07] Suze: a question, I realized because we haven't said this in many,
[12:10] Suze: many podcasts, right, if you have a question, you should
[12:15] Suze: just write into podcast at ask Suze.com. That's where you
[12:22] Suze: write in to ask your question, and if KT chooses it.
[12:27] Suze: And if I see it and feel like it, you
[12:29] Suze: never know when I will seriously answer it, as many
[12:33] Suze: of you know, that's how you do it. All right, sorry, KT,
[12:37] Suze: go on.
[12:37] KT: What's the word after bazillion rezillion questions? She said, I
[12:43] KT: know you get a bazillion questions.
[12:45] Suze: I, I tell the bazillion is enough. We don't need
[12:48] Suze: more than a bazillion.
[12:49] KT: All right, so Julie said, my husband and I happily
[12:53] KT: married for 35 years and counting.
[12:56] KT: Have our must-have documents completed and in place. We have
[13:01] KT: no children and our siblings are significantly older than us,
[13:05] KT: she said. Suze, I've recently heard about a new service
[13:08] KT: offered by Child Free Trust which creates and manages important
[13:14] KT: decisions like health care directives, trust, and end of life care.
[13:19] KT: I suppose they are independent fiduciaries. They charge $999 a year.
[13:27] Suze: Per year. Per year. Per year.
[13:31] KT: This is why she's writing. Julie said it seems like
[13:33] KT: a good option for people like us who don't plan
[13:36] KT: on leaving anything to relatives and don't really want to
[13:39] KT: have friends or relatives make decisions for us.
[13:44] KT: So they wanna know your thoughts on this service and
[13:47] KT: if they should take advantage of it. I could tell
[13:49] KT: you don't like it.
[13:50] Suze: Well, I'll tell you why. It's when something really happens.
[13:55] Suze: Do you really want a stranger that knows nothing about
[13:58] Suze: you making that decision? And it's, by the way, KT,
[14:02] Suze: it's not $999 per year.
[14:05] Suze: It's $999 per year per person.
[14:09] KT: $2,000 a year?
[14:11] Suze: $1,998 per year to be exact. So that's the cost
[14:18] Suze: of it.
[14:18] KT: That doesn't make sense.
[14:20] Suze: Secondly, you gotta hear this though, everybody, if you need
[14:24] Suze: them to act, I have to tell you there are
[14:26] Suze: additional fees. The medical or the financial power of attorney
[14:30] Suze: services are currently $275 an hour, KT, an hour. And
[14:40] Suze: if they become trustees, if all of a sudden they
[14:43] Suze: need to become trustees over a trust that maybe these
[14:46] Suze: people have done.
[14:47] Suze: There is currently a minimum of $3,300 annually for a retainer,
[14:53] Suze: all right, and additional hours at $275 plus an administrative,
[14:58] Suze: and it goes on and on and on.
[15:01] KT: That $999 a year is plus plus plus plus plus.
[15:06] Suze: But this is the part that would stop me from
[15:09] Suze: doing this now. How do I know all these numbers?
[15:12] Suze: Are you wondering?
[15:14] KT: Because you know everything.
[15:16] Suze: No, besides that, because I read this email and I
[15:21] Suze: researched it.
[15:22] Suze: And I sent Julie everything that I found out about it,
[15:26] Suze: but for everybody, the part that really would stop me
[15:30] Suze: from signing up is that if you already have your
[15:34] Suze: must-have documents, right? This childfree trust says you cannot simply
[15:39] Suze: give them your existing trust. They have to do the
[15:43] Suze: documents all over for you, and that's how they make
[15:46] Suze: money and on and on. Julie, listen to me.
[15:50] Suze: I don't know how much money you have. I don't
[15:53] Suze: know how complicated your estate really is.
[15:57] Suze: I don't think it's worth wasting this kind of money
[16:03] Suze: simply because you don't want to bother a friend. Hey,
[16:08] Suze: tell your friend that you love that might make the
[16:11] Suze: right decisions for you. If you have to do this,
[16:14] Suze: we're gonna pay you in our will, in our estate plan,
[16:17] Suze: whatever it is. We're going to pay you 2% to
[16:21] Suze: handle everything for us.
[16:23] Suze: And because maybe they'll need the money, maybe you'll, who
[16:27] Suze: knows what can happen in your life. You, as you
[16:30] Suze: get older, all of a sudden you need more money
[16:34] Suze: because why? One of you gets sick, and I didn't
[16:37] Suze: hear you say that you have long-term care insurance. You're
[16:40] Suze: not thinking about how do you take care of each
[16:42] Suze: other if you're sick or something happens to you with
[16:46] Suze: a long-term care policy or things like that. So bottom line,
[16:52] Suze: I would not do it.
[16:54] Suze: I just don't think it makes sense. If you want to, OK,
[16:59] Suze: but those bills are going to run a lot higher
[17:02] Suze: than you have any idea. But read everything that I
[17:06] Suze: sent you, Julie, and I doubt highly you're going to
[17:09] Suze: go ahead and do it. By the way, there are
[17:13] Suze: lawyers and people that do this for a living, not a company,
[17:19] Suze: but somebody that you form a relationship with, a professional
[17:23] Suze: trustee that will be there for you. You know them,
[17:28] Suze: they'll carry it out. Uh, don't do this. All right,
[17:31] Suze: go on, KT.
[17:34] KT: Ok, this is from Suzanne. She said, Love you too
[17:37] KT: and thank you for all you do. Question, I inherited
[17:41] KT: my mom's traditional IRA in 2016, which is held at Vanguard.
[17:48] KT: I wanted to save it for my four grandsons. However,
[17:52] KT: I heard that I need to withdraw and close the
[17:55] KT: entire IRA at 10 years now or next year.
[18:00] KT: So true? And what do I do?
[18:02] Suze: False. Flase.
[18:02] KT: OK, well she's asking you. My grandson's age range from
[18:07] KT: 6 to 18. I'm a single Grammy and need help.
[18:11] Suze: All right, Grammy, I'm gonna give you the help right now.
[18:15] Suze: The Secure Act stated for anybody dying after 2019, so
[18:21] Suze: it went into effect for anybody dying in 2020 or later.
[18:27] Suze: Your mom died in 2016, which is before 2020, so
[18:34] Suze: everything that you've heard about that you have to clean
[18:36] Suze: it in 10 years and do everything like that doesn't apply to you.
[18:41] Suze: You get to take it out over your entire lifespan.
[18:46] Suze: You get to stretch those required minimum distributions, so you
[18:52] Suze: don't have to worry about it, Grammy. However, I do
[18:55] Suze: want to say, can we not worry about your grandkids?
[19:00] Suze: Can we just kind of save that money and make
[19:03] Suze: sure that you're taking care of and that that money just stays in an
[19:08] Suze: account for you and maybe you invest it for yourself
[19:12] Suze: as you've taken it out knowing that maybe it's gonna
[19:15] Suze: grow and make more money and then upon your death
[19:19] Suze: they get a step up in basis and get everything
[19:22] Suze: tax free so don't worry about it, it does not
[19:25] Suze: apply to you and everybody out there just know...
[19:29] Suze: the new Secure Act where you have to wipe it clean,
[19:34] Suze: a retirement account that you've inherited, in most cases, not everybody,
[19:38] Suze: but most cases, the person has got to have died in
[19:42] Suze: 2020 or later. Go on, KT.
[19:45] KT: This next one, I wanna know the answer to, Suze.
[19:48] KT: This is from... I, I need to know this. I
[19:52] KT: had no clue about this. She says, Hi, Suze and KT.
[19:56] KT: Love your podcast. We always learn from you. We're hearing
[20:00] KT: and reading more and more pertaining to retirees can move $210,000
[20:07] KT: from an IRA into a QLAC and delay RMDs on
[20:13] KT: that money until the age of 85. Almost nobody has
[20:17] KT: heard of it. We've never heard of it until recently.
[20:20] KT: What does it mean? QLAC
[20:22] Suze: Qualified Longevity Annuity Contract, right? So what's the question?
[20:30] KT: So she wants to know, have you heard about this?
[20:33] KT: Should they consider it in general and what really are
[20:36] KT: the benefits of delaying RMDs till you're 85?
[20:41] Suze: So Lou, I think this is a little bit more
[20:44] Suze: complicated than a little answer here on the Ask KT
[20:49] Suze: and Suze anything. So for you, I'll write up a
[20:53] Suze: whole thing about it and send it to you just
[20:55] Suze: so you know because you're obviously interested.
[20:59] Suze: But I will do a podcast on this because some
[21:04] Suze: people will like it, some people won't. People use it,
[21:07] Suze: but very shortly I'll do a Suze school on a QLAC.
[21:13] Suze: All right, next question, KT.
[21:15] KT: Our next question is from Scott, and I, I like
[21:18] KT: this one. I feel for Scott. He says, good morning, ladies.
[21:22] KT: Glad to hear all of your travels went well.
[21:25] KT: Scott's been listening. Italy. Oh my goodness. A few weeks ago.
[21:31] Suze: We have a big trip coming up. Did you tell them?
[21:32] KT: Not yet, but we will, but not yet. A few
[21:35] KT: weeks ago, my wife requested that I troubleshoot my mother-in-law's vehicle.
[21:41] KT: Upon investigation, I found it requires a complete overhaul. Last night,
[21:47] KT: after talking to her mother, my wife said, we need to
[21:51] KT: help my mother, and my immediate response was we lost
[21:54] KT: $100,000 in real dollars from when we took over her
[22:00] KT: mortgage 17 years ago.
[22:03] Suze: Funny he used the word lost.
[22:05] KT: Yeah, well, for him it was a, a loss of
[22:08] KT: his money, my...
[22:10] Suze: Their money.
[22:11] KT: OK.
[22:12] Suze: Their money. All right, go on.
[22:16] KT: My mother-in-law is now 75. Due to poor life decisions
[22:21] KT: and minimal Social Security, she lives in subsidized housing. While
[22:26] KT: it's sad that her independence is being threatened, there are
[22:30] KT: programs available for her to receive help with rides to
[22:35] KT: and from her needs without paying for fuel, insurance, or
[22:40] KT: car maintenance. She would have more money to live on.
[22:43] KT: And I feel that this would be a better solution.
[22:47] KT: I'm looking to accelerate my own plan to retire soon
[22:51] KT: and ensure I'm not a burden to my children. Bailing
[22:55] KT: out her mother again is something I am not inclined
[23:00] KT: to do. Am I a bad person, Suze, for feeling
[23:03] KT: this way?
[23:05] Suze: Here's the thing, which is, no, you're not a bad
[23:10] Suze: person on any level. Because what you're feeling is real and
[23:16] Suze: it's true for you maybe you're not that close with
[23:20] Suze: your mother-in-law. Maybe you don't have the feelings that your
[23:24] Suze: wife has towards her mother.
[23:27] Suze: But what's really important for you is that you understand
[23:32] Suze: that the woman you chose to marry,
[23:36] Suze: loves her mother obviously very, very much because she said
[23:42] Suze: to you, Scott, we need, she didn't say I want to.
[23:47] Suze: She said we need to help her.
[23:51] Suze: Now there's all different ways that you can try to
[23:54] Suze: help her. All the things that you mentioned in this email,
[23:59] Suze: all those resources, and those are things that I want
[24:02] Suze: you to do. But more than what happens with your mother-in-law,
[24:07] Suze: I don't want this to come between you and your wife.
[24:11] Suze: And therefore you need to sit down with your wife,
[24:16] Suze: your life partner, because if you retire, it's gonna affect her.
[24:21] Suze: I don't know if she's working, she's not working, and
[24:24] Suze: you have to have a plan, because here's the other thing,
[24:28] Suze: Mommy-in-law is only 75.
[24:32] Suze: What's going to happen when she's 85, 95, and maybe
[24:37] Suze: she needs care. Maybe are you gonna have to bring
[24:40] Suze: her into your home? These are things that you have
[24:44] Suze: to plan now, but with your wife, but from a
[24:48] Suze: loving place not from a money place first. What is my motto?
[24:54] Suze: People first, then money, then things. So I think it's
[24:59] Suze: really important that you bring heart to this conversation with
[25:04] Suze: your wife and decide how much can you help her.
[25:09] Suze: Should you help her this way? Is it better for
[25:11] Suze: her at 75? Maybe she gets rid of the car altogether.
[25:17] Suze: That gives her a little extra money. She Uber. She
[25:20] Suze: does things like that. I don't know, but it deserves
[25:25] Suze: a heartfelt conversation with the woman who you married and
[25:33] Suze: decide together what you should do. But are you a
[25:36] Suze: bad person?
[25:37] Suze: No, you're not, but I just want to say something else.
[25:42] Suze: Don't look at it like you lost $100,000. You didn't
[25:47] Suze: lose anything. You gained a lot of goodwill, in the eyes
[25:53] Suze: of God, if you ask me, and that's what really matters.
[25:58] Suze: Next question, KT.
[25:59] KT: Amen to that, Suze. You're something.
[26:04] Suze: Why?
[26:05] KT: You just are. OK, ready?
[26:07] Suze: You wanted to cry there.
[26:09] KT: Well, it moves me what you said and what he
[26:12] KT: felt and how it all, what, what the real purpose
[26:16] KT: of life is.
[26:17] Suze: Can I go off track here for a second? What
[26:19] Suze: else is new? So many of you may not know
[26:23] Suze: this about me, but I'm an incredible student of Indian scriptures.
[26:29] Suze: And whether it's Sanskrit or Hindu or the, you know,
[26:33] Suze: whatever happens in India in the start of really everything,
[26:38] Suze: because a lot of stuff that goes on in this
[26:40] Suze: world really stems from a lot of the scriptures stems
[26:44] Suze: from Indian scriptures, OK. And one of the Dharmas in life.
[26:54] Suze: And a Dharma is your duty that you need to
[26:57] Suze: do is to take care of your elders.
[27:01] Suze: And I've talked about this before on podcasts years ago, actually,
[27:07] Suze: where you have to do that. Now, obviously, if your
[27:11] Suze: elder is irresponsible with money, alcoholic, gambler, that fine, that's
[27:16] Suze: a whole different thing. But if it's a loving person.
[27:21] Suze: If it's a good person and they've just made bad
[27:24] Suze: decisions with money, just bad decision doesn't make them a
[27:28] Suze: bad person, they've just made bad decisions.
[27:32] Suze: And they are your mother, a relative, an elder. It
[27:37] Suze: is one of your dharmas to have to take care
[27:41] Suze: of them. So just wanted to say that. There you go.
[27:46] KT: And you know what, Suze, I'm thinking at our age
[27:50] KT: we have many friends right now serving that Dharma as
[27:53] KT: we speak.
[27:56] Suze: You know, I have a friend. I'm gonna tell you
[27:58] Suze: another story. I have a friend by the name of
[28:00] Suze: Kathy Buckley.
[28:01] Suze: And and you should look her up. One of the
[28:05] Suze: most amazing women I've ever met in my life. She
[28:10] Suze: was lying on a beach one day years ago, and
[28:13] Suze: this beach tractor rolled over her. She ended up in
[28:17] Suze: a nursing home. It was her story is so, uh, seriously,
[28:22] Suze: look her up.
[28:24] Suze: And she's now going to be 73, and she wrote
[28:27] Suze: me and she said, Suze, can you talk to me
[28:30] Suze: about my money?
[28:32] Suze: So the other day I called her and we had
[28:34] Suze: this great FaceTime. We both cried, everything. I mean, the
[28:39] Suze: woman is just magnificent.
[28:41] KT: They call each other sisters and she calls Suze her sister.
[28:45] Suze: So I said, tell me a little bit about what
[28:48] Suze: you've been doing for the past few years. And she said,
[28:52] Suze: I've been taking care of my mother and father.
[28:55] Suze: All of the money, Suze, I've been making, I've been
[28:59] Suze: going back to Ohio and taking care of my mom
[29:03] Suze: and my dad, and that's what I've been doing. And
[29:08] Suze: I said, OK, so she said, so I don't have
[29:11] Suze: as much as you're probably going to want me to have,
[29:14] Suze: but I did what I wanted to do, and Susie,
[29:17] Suze: I'm so happy I got to do it, and now
[29:19] Suze: they both have died, and I did what I needed
[29:21] Suze: to do.
[29:23] Suze: And then I said, OK, tell me about what you have.
[29:27] Suze: And she said, Well, I've been listening to you now
[29:29] Suze: for all these 40 years since we've known each other,
[29:32] Suze: and I own my house outright, and I have that,
[29:34] Suze: I mean, she's a multi-millionaire, and I said, What is
[29:37] Suze: the matter with you? She said, Well, I just didn't know.
[29:42] Suze: And so it was perfect because in her situation.
[29:47] Suze: She didn't even know about her money really she just
[29:50] Suze: put it little by little, didn't even realize what she
[29:53] Suze: had and she did though what was important to her
[29:57] Suze: to take care of her parents so we've probably gone
[30:00] Suze: on too long about it however...
[30:03] Suze: Given that we are the age that we are, I
[30:06] Suze: think it's a really important thing that families really start
[30:11] Suze: having this conversation now with one another because eventually everybody's
[30:16] Suze: gonna have to deal with it. Next question.
[30:19] KT: This is my last question, and I think this deserves
[30:23] KT: a Suze school because this is a big question, and
[30:26] KT: I'm starting to get it over and over.
[30:28] KT: Suze, can you please discuss the decision to place a
[30:33] KT: permanent deduction of 23% on Social Security if no additional
[30:40] KT: funds are found or created to fully fund the SS
[30:44] KT: bucket payouts.
[30:46] KT: From what I understand, the president felt that because SS
[30:49] KT: would not be available to sustain paying out at this time,
[30:54] KT: the only option was to cut everyone's disbursements by 23%,
[31:00] KT: which would start 6 years from now.
[31:03] Suze: Listen to me, everybody. I'm not doing a Suze school
[31:06] Suze: on this. And the reason is this the president did
[31:10] Suze: not decide. There was no bill. There is no signature.
[31:14] Suze: There is no ceremony. Nobody sat in a room, everybody,
[31:18] Suze: and saying we're going to cut everyone's Social Security by 23%.
[31:23] Suze: But let me tell you what did happen.
[31:26] Suze: Every year, the Social Security trustees, KT look at what
[31:30] Suze: they have going in, going out, and they decide how
[31:34] Suze: long the Social Security system will be solvent. But everybody,
[31:39] Suze: you need to understand something.
[31:42] Suze: That because of a rule actually that's been in place
[31:45] Suze: since 1935, Social Security cannot borrow. It cannot spend a
[31:52] Suze: dollar it does not have, so it has to pay
[31:56] Suze: out what comes in, period. So the reserve empties and
[32:00] Suze: Congress does nothing at all. The checks shrink automatically to
[32:03] Suze: match the money coming in the door. Now that is true,
[32:08] Suze: but here's the thing.
[32:10] Suze: Just like in 1983, Social Security, I don't know if
[32:14] Suze: you know this, KT was weeks, not six years, was
[32:20] Suze: weeks away from not being able to pay full benefits.
[32:24] Suze: Did you know that?
[32:25] KT: No, because I was living in Hong Kong then.
[32:28] Suze: Well, nobody probably knew it here either how close we came
[32:32] Suze: to D-Day when it came to Social Security, but Congress,
[32:37] Suze: believe it or not, fixed it. They raised the retirement age.
[32:40] Suze: That's when it went from 65 to 67. Everybody, they
[32:44] Suze: taxed some benefits. They moved money around, and it was ugly.
[32:48] Suze: It was late, but they did it, and that one
[32:50] Suze: check bounced. Congress knows about these deadlines. Now. I personally
[32:56] Suze: don't know if Congress can do anything,
[32:59] Suze: if you ask me, but you know I'm not gonna
[33:01] Suze: get political, and that involves both sides. That's like, are
[33:05] Suze: you kidding me, Congress? I don't even know what we
[33:07] Suze: are paying you for. However, I have to have faith
[33:12] Suze: that they will do something. They will probably raise the
[33:16] Suze: Social Security age to 70, which I've been telling you,
[33:20] Suze: you're probably gonna have to do it anyway till then.
[33:23] Suze: So, probably till 70, they will raise how much Social Security,
[33:27] Suze: how much people's income is taxed that goes into it.
[33:31] Suze: They will do things like that. So, but here's the thing,
[33:35] Suze: you all have to understand.
[33:38] Suze: What do you do? Are you just sitting around waiting
[33:41] Suze: to see is Social Security gonna be there? Are they
[33:44] Suze: gonna lower it? Are they gonna raise it? What's gonna
[33:46] Suze: happen to it? You cannot count on anybody but yourself.
[33:50] Suze: I have told you that. I have told you that.
[33:53] Suze: I have told you that. What does that mean? That
[33:56] Suze: means you downsize now, you stop getting new cars every
[34:00] Suze: 3 years. You drive your cars for 15 years or whatever.
[34:04] Suze: You stop spending money you don't have,
[34:08] Suze: to impress people you don't even know or like you
[34:11] Suze: maybe don't go on vacations, you don't do things you
[34:16] Suze: have to start saving money now in the event that
[34:20] Suze: you won't get Social Security, so you better hope for
[34:24] Suze: the best, everybody, but plan for the worst now I
[34:27] Suze: have told you this for years now.
[34:30] Suze: I wrote the book The Ultimate Retirement Guide for 50+.
[34:34] Suze: Get it. Do what I say in it. It's out
[34:37] Suze: in paperback. You need to do that. So there you go, KT.
[34:42] Suze: I'm not doing a Suzie school on it because, wait,
[34:45] Suze: I just want to say this, the fix to the
[34:49] Suze: situation is not in the government's hands.
[34:53] Suze: I want us to make our own fixes with it,
[34:57] Suze: which means seriously downsize, seriously start saving, do what we
[35:03] Suze: can do, and then today, today, and hopefully, hopefully everyone,
[35:10] Suze: they'll fix it. I can't imagine that they won't, but
[35:14] Suze: then I can't imagine a whole lot of things anymore.
[35:18] Suze: All right, KT, what's later today now? What are you
[35:21] Suze: gonna do now?
[35:24] Suze: She's likes looking like I have no idea what I'm
[35:27] Suze: gonna do after this. All right then, fine, don't answer me.
[35:31] Suze: Just look at me with those pretty little brown eyes
[35:33] Suze: of yours.
[35:34] KT: I don't know.
[35:35] Suze: I see this. I have never seen her speechless in
[35:39] Suze: 25 years.
[35:42] KT: 6...
[35:43] Suze: It's 26?
[35:44] KT: Yes, it is.
[35:45] Suze: I am not good with numbers. We've started our 26th,
[35:49] Suze: all right, but I only talk about, see, it's like
[35:51] Suze: with money, I only count what's in the bank. I
[35:54] Suze: don't count what's to come.
[35:57] KT: 26 will be banked, trust me.
[36:00] Suze: All right, everybody. So until next week I'm gonna do
[36:04] Suze: a Suze school just so you know on debt and
[36:08] Suze: a few things that I just think you all should
[36:11] Suze: know about. All right.
[36:13] Suze: So until then though, there's only one thing that we
[36:15] Suze: want you to remember and what is it KT?
[36:18] KT: People first, then money, then things.
[36:21] Suze: Now you stay safe bye bye.

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