# My Husband Has Dementia, What Can I Do?

An episode of [Suze Orman's Women & Money (And Everyone Smart Enough To Listen)](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1439621652), 9 Aug 2026, 41 min.

Audio: https://traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/2df1102a-5761-4c99-b489-aabd0161f8fe/44e0936e-923c-43c7-9e2a-aade00edf4d3/c4b1ce61-46a5-4a06-bfcb-b49f0140ce0a/audio.mp3?utm_source=Podcast&in_playlist=4e05fb00-5a5b-4ed9-b353-aade00edf4dd

On this brand new Ask KT & Suze Anything, Suze answers your questions about retirement accounts, HSAs, caring for your spouse and more. Learn more about the Ultimate Scam Protection here: SuzeOrman.com Watch Suze’s YouTube Channel Jumpstart financial wellness for your employees: https://bit.ly/SecureSave Protect your financial future with the Must Have Docs: https://bit.ly/3Vq1V3G Help with the Must Have Docs: • Email:support@musthavedocuments.zendesk.com • Phone: 888-510-0510 Get your savings going with Alliant Credit Union: https://bit.ly/3rg0Yio Get Suze’s special offers for podcast listeners at suzeorman.com/offer Join Suze’s Women & Money Community for FREE and ASK SUZE your questions which may just end up on the podcast. Download the app by following one of these links: CLICK HERE FOR APPLE: https://apple.co/2KcAHbH CLICK HERE FOR GOOGLE PLAY: https://bit.ly/3curfMI See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

## Transcript

[0:08] KT: OK, everyone, welcome to the Women and Money podcast and
[0:12] KT: everyone smart enough to listen. This is Ask KT and
[0:16] KT: Suze Anything Sunday, August 9th, 2026. Do you believe it?
[0:23] Suze: I can't believe that hair is what I cannot believe.
[0:26] KT: OK, so...
[0:27] Suze: Why does your hair look like that?
[0:29] KT: I... they need to see it. No one can see
[0:31] KT: it except for you. My hair is going in every
[0:35] KT: direction north, south, southwest, northeast, every possible compass direction you
[0:42] KT: can think of. Why? Because I just got it cut
[0:46] KT: and instead of doing anything, I got out of the
[0:48] KT: pool and bam, dried it off and that's what I got.
[0:54] KT: Oh, listen to her. That's not nice. All right, Suze,
[0:58] KT: I'm gonna start.
[0:59] Suze: Why did you pay for that?
[1:02] KT: That is not nice. That's so not nice.
[1:06] Suze: Usually your hair is so perfect.
[1:10] KT: Not this morning. It's very early.
[1:12] Suze: All right, go on, KT.
[1:14] KT: So Suze has an announcement for everyone, and I want
[1:17] KT: you to listen up because we're gonna be there.
[1:20] Suze: Yes, and that announcement is October 3rd and 4th, in LA.
[1:25] Suze: I want all of you to go to Suze Orman.com/empower
[1:31] Suze: E M P O W E R and check it
[1:34] Suze: out because if you happen to be in the LA
[1:37] Suze: area or you even wanna travel to the LA area,
[1:41] Suze: Hay House is putting on a two day event with
[1:46] Suze: 16 of their top authors. Doctor Mindy will be there.
[1:51] Suze: I'm gonna be there. I will be the closing keynote
[1:54] Suze: on October 4th. So come on down. But if you
[1:59] Suze: do anything, check it out because maybe you'll be able
[2:03] Suze: to zoom in. Who knows? I don't know what else
[2:05] Suze: they have planned.
[2:06] Suze: But check it out. It's gonna be quite the day.
[2:10] Suze: All right, KT.
[2:11] KT: That's in honor of her birthday.
[2:13] Suze: Who is her?
[2:14] KT: Louise Hay's 100th. She would have been 100 on, I think,
[2:20] KT: October 8th, right?
[2:22] Suze: So it's right around there a few days later. But
[2:25] Suze: for those of you who don't know.
[2:26] KT: Oh, what a great woman.
[2:28] Suze: Louise was one of the most magnificent human beings. Forget woman.
[2:33] Suze: Magnificent human beings God ever created and all she ever
[2:39] Suze: wanted was for all of you to love yourself, to
[2:43] Suze: have a great life, to have a positive life, to
[2:47] Suze: create the life that you want, and in my opinion
[2:50] Suze: she started that with you can heal yourself and millions
[2:54] Suze: and millions of books and did all these events and
[2:59] Suze: really extraordinary lived to her nineties and I'm telling you,
[3:04] Suze: I only wish you had met her, maybe many of
[3:06] Suze: you did, but to honor her is really to honor yourself,
[3:13] Suze: which is why they're calling it the Empower Workshop. All right, KT.
[3:18] KT: She is the best.
[3:20] KT: OK. My first question isn't a question, it's a statement.
[3:25] KT: It's a great statement. I love this one. This is from...
[3:29] Suze: I can't stop looking at your hair.
[3:31] Suze: This is from...
[3:31] Suze: Can you put a hat on?
[3:33] KT: Want me to put a cap on?
[3:35] Suze: All right, never mind.
[3:36] KT: All right, this is from Noreen, and it said, your
[3:39] KT: advice paid off again, Suze. I love this. She said,
[3:44] KT: Thank you for advising that if I put my adult
[3:47] KT: child on our credit cards, it would build his credit
[3:51] KT: scores and ratings. My son just bought his first car
[3:56] KT: with an 810 credit score totally accredited to my 833
[4:02] KT: score and was able to get an apartment on his
[4:05] KT: own without having me co-sign for either. Great advice as always, Suze.
[4:11] KT: Thank you. The significance of the car is that I
[4:15] KT: did not have to co-sign on the auto purchase. Removes
[4:20] KT: me from any liability, which is fantastic. Yay yay yay.
[4:25] KT: That's what she wrote.
[4:26] Suze: So for all of you who don't know what she's
[4:28] Suze: actually talking about.
[4:30] Suze: The truth is all of you, whether you know it
[4:33] Suze: or not, have a FICO score, a credit score, and
[4:37] Suze: the one that most creditors still look at to this
[4:39] Suze: day is the one from Fair Isaac Corporation, and that
[4:44] Suze: score goes to a high of 850. If you're below 500,
[4:49] Suze: trust me, you are absolutely already FICOed.
[4:53] Suze: The higher your FICO score, the lower your interest rates,
[4:57] Suze: the lower your FICO score, the higher your interest rates.
[5:02] Suze: So therefore, what made this so great is that obviously
[5:06] Suze: her son didn't have credit because you need credit cards.
[5:11] Suze: You need to be spending money, having credit in order
[5:14] Suze: to get a FICO score. So forever when everybody was
[5:19] Suze: first discovering FICO scores.
[5:21] Suze: I told all of you, listen, if you just put
[5:25] Suze: your kid on your credit card as an authorized user
[5:30] Suze: and don't tell them you did it.
[5:34] Suze: Right, then your FICO score will become their FICO score. Now,
[5:40] Suze: I didn't even know that that still works, but obviously
[5:43] Suze: it does. So it is a way if you have
[5:46] Suze: a child, they have a low FICO score, it was
[5:49] Suze: ruined for whatever reason, or you have a low FICO
[5:53] Suze: score and it was ruined. If you have somebody in
[5:56] Suze: your life that has a high FICO score.
[5:59] Suze: And they'll put you on as an authorized user. You
[6:02] Suze: cannot hurt their credit. It does not matter. They do
[6:05] Suze: not give you a credit card, so their score becomes yours.
[6:10] Suze: But if you ask somebody and they have a bad
[6:13] Suze: credit score, their bad credit score becomes your score. So
[6:17] Suze: make sure that it's good and that you see it
[6:19] Suze: in writing.
[6:20] KT: I want to show you, show Suze this, obviously.
[6:24] KT: I, I don't think we can post it, but look
[6:26] KT: at Noreen next to her son and the car. She
[6:30] KT: is beaming with pride. He's a good looking boy, and
[6:35] KT: I'm telling you...
[6:36] Suze: What kind of car is that?
[6:37] KT: I don't know. It looks like a pretty sexy sports car,
[6:40] KT: but you could tell that she is just so proud
[6:44] KT: of her boy and his first car.
[6:47] Suze: I actually think she's so proud of herself.
[6:50] Suze: That she was able to get herself off the hook
[6:53] Suze: and not have to co-sign for her son for his
[6:55] Suze: apartment or his car. And so if he screws up
[6:58] Suze: now it's on him and not her. Next question, KT.
[7:02] KT: OK, this is from Mary. She said, Suze, what would
[7:04] KT: you do? Hello...
[7:06] Suze: Wait, I just have to answer that question before you
[7:08] Suze: even go on. I'll tell you what I would do
[7:10] Suze: in terms of if I had a child that needed
[7:14] Suze: me to co-sign for a car, co-sign on an apartment
[7:18] Suze: or whatever it would be, I wouldn't do it in
[7:20] Suze: a million years. It will be the biggest mistake you
[7:23] Suze: have ever made. I don't care how much you love
[7:25] Suze: that kid. I don't care how great that kid is.
[7:28] Suze: If a bank will not lend your child money, neither
[7:32] Suze: should you, because if they screw up, it's gonna ruin
[7:36] Suze: your FICO score forever. And guess what? You're on the
[7:39] Suze: hook to pay those bills. All right, KT.
[7:42] KT: OK, this is from Mary. She said hello. I'm 47.
[7:47] KT: I inherited $100,000 from a grandparent. My spouse and I
[7:53] KT: have an emergency fund. We fund our Roth IRAs. He
[7:57] KT: has a 401k, and I have a small traditional IRA
[8:02] KT: from when we both worked.
[8:04] Suze: Mistakes.
[8:05] KT: OK. I've been an SAHM for 15 years
[8:09] Suze: Do you know what that is?
[8:11] KT: Mm, no.
[8:12] Suze: A stay at home mom.
[8:13] KT: Oh, a stay at home mom, yeah, and SAHM for
[8:17] KT: 15 years. What do you recommend I do? My husband
[8:22] KT: wants me now to start funding my Roth and put
[8:25] KT: the rest in CDs. I think we should consider other options.
[8:30] KT: Grateful Suze, but confused. That's from Mary.
[8:33] Suze: All right, so the very first thing that you need
[8:36] Suze: to do, and you best do this, you have got
[8:40] Suze: to keep that $100,000 in your separate name. You cannot
[8:48] Suze: put it in a joint account.
[8:50] Suze: Because if God forbid you and your husband all of
[8:53] Suze: a sudden aren't lovey-dovey anymore and you split, that $100,000
[8:58] Suze: remains yours if you put it in a joint account
[9:02] Suze: with his name and you split half of it is his.
[9:07] Suze: So I don't care where you invest it, how you
[9:10] Suze: do it, it's got to be in your individual name.
[9:14] Suze: So if you want to buy certificates of deposits, OK,
[9:18] Suze: depending on the state that you live in.
[9:20] Suze: If you live in a high income tax state where
[9:25] Suze: maybe it's New York, California, if I were you I
[9:28] Suze: would not be doing certificates of deposit right now. I
[9:32] Suze: would be looking at treasuries because treasuries you do not
[9:37] Suze: pay any state income tax on it, and treasuries may
[9:41] Suze: be even giving a higher interest rate right now than
[9:44] Suze: some certificates of deposit. So first, only in your name.
[9:50] Suze: Two, treasuries versus certificates of deposit. Three, you're young. You
[9:57] Suze: are 47 years of age. What are you doing? You're
[10:00] Suze: gonna make this money, just sit and make 3, 4, 5%
[10:04] Suze: for you. This is the time in your life for
[10:07] Suze: you to open up your own individual Roth IRA. You
[10:12] Suze: can fund it. It will still be yours just so
[10:15] Suze: you know.
[10:16] Suze: The number four... right now, I forgot the numbers I'm on.
[10:20] Suze: Have you been keeping track?
[10:21] KT: No.
[10:22] Suze: I'm totally losing focus because of her haircut, but that's besides, the point.
[10:26] KT: I'm gonna go put a cap on.
[10:28] Suze: But wait, that's besides the point is that you should
[10:31] Suze: not be listening to your husband here. Seriously, this is
[10:35] Suze: the time in your life that you want to make
[10:38] Suze: the most out of this money, so I would be
[10:42] Suze: opening up besides a Roth IRA.
[10:45] Suze: An individual investment account in just your name where you
[10:50] Suze: dollar cost average into either ETFs or individual stocks or
[10:55] Suze: whatever it may be. If you really don't know what
[10:58] Suze: to do, fine, then just dollar cost average into an
[11:01] Suze: ETF by the symbol VOO. But there are so many
[11:06] Suze: good ones. There's Fitz, FITZ.
[11:09] Suze: There's MSMH. There's all kinds of ones. You can also
[11:14] Suze: buy individual stocks, whether it's 5 shares here, whatever, and
[11:17] Suze: just keep doing it little by little while it sits
[11:21] Suze: in a money market fund, making 4, 4.5% while your
[11:25] Suze: dollar cost averaging it into the market. That's what I
[11:29] Suze: would be doing if I were you. However, overall.
[11:34] Suze: Why are you in a traditional IRA? It's a small one. OK,
[11:40] Suze: so why don't you convert it right now so it
[11:42] Suze: is a Roth IRA, so you have everything in a Roth.
[11:46] Suze: And why is your husband at work have a 401k
[11:50] Suze: and not a Roth 401k? So that's why I won't
[11:54] Suze: quite be listening to him. All right, KT.
[11:57] KT: The next email subject area said FEGLI.
[12:00] KT: And I didn't know what a FEGLI was. I thought
[12:02] KT: it was a new kind of pasta or something.
[12:04] Suze: It's a life insurance policy for a federal employee.
[12:07] KT: Yes, Suze knew. I said, Suze, what is FEGLI? Federal
[12:11] KT: Employees Group Life Insurance. So it's not a pasta, everyone.
[12:16] KT: Then she said...
[12:17] Suze: Do you still have Italy on your brain?
[12:19] KT: I do. So Susan said, Hi ladies, I'm 59 and
[12:23] KT: single with two sons aged 24 and 22. I have
[12:28] KT: 5 times my annual salary in F E G L I.
[12:34] KT: My job will pay for one time my annual salary.
[12:38] KT: Wouldn't it be smart to cancel the other 4 times
[12:41] KT: my annual salary as it is costing me $75 every
[12:46] KT: 2 weeks? So she's asking you that question. Would it
[12:50] KT: be smart to cancel the other $75 every 2 weeks,
[12:55] KT: 4 times her salary?
[12:58] Suze: Was that hard for you?
[12:59] KT: No, I'm asking you, what do you think?
[13:01] Suze: What do you think?
[13:03] KT: Cancel it.
[13:04] Suze: Why?
[13:04] KT: Well, FEGLI is one thing, but they're 24 and 22
[13:08] KT: year old. They're not, they, they're adult kids.
[13:11] Suze: So they don't need insurance, right?
[13:12] KT: Well, if she wanted to still keep them under her wing,
[13:17] KT: she can get term insurance.
[13:18] Suze: No, this is probably just as cheap as term. Maybe.
[13:21] KT: All right, so what do you think?
[13:22] Suze: I'll tell you what I think. So you know what's funny, KT,
[13:25] Suze: is that so many people think, oh $75 every two
[13:30] Suze: weeks isn't that much money.
[13:32] Suze: So, why not do it, all right? But the truth is,
[13:36] Suze: a little amount of money can build up to be
[13:40] Suze: a lot of money over a long period of time.
[13:45] Suze: Now, if she took that $150 a month and for
[13:49] Suze: the next 11 years just invested it for herself with
[13:53] Suze: average market returns, I'm sure she'd have about $40,000 at
[13:57] Suze: the age of 70. Or if she really wanted this
[14:01] Suze: money for her children.
[14:03] Suze: And they're so young she could put $75 every two
[14:09] Suze: weeks in an investment account in her own name, $150
[14:13] Suze: a month, and if she did that every single month
[14:17] Suze: for 25 years, maybe till she's like 85 years of age,
[14:22] Suze: very probable she will get there. All right. Do you
[14:25] Suze: know with average market returns they'd have $200,000 in that account,
[14:31] Suze: she would.
[14:32] Suze: Because she would just keep doing it month in and
[14:35] Suze: month out, no taxes on it. She would never sell,
[14:38] Suze: she would just do it all the time on her death.
[14:43] Suze: That money would pass down to her kids. They would
[14:46] Suze: get a step up in basis on it, and it
[14:49] Suze: would be all tax free to them.
[14:52] KT: Bingo.
[14:54] Suze: And if they needed it before she died because they're
[14:57] Suze: only going to get this money if she dies.
[15:00] Suze: Right, if they needed it before she died. Now she
[15:04] Suze: has a lump sum of money to give to them,
[15:07] Suze: or if she needs it, it's there for herself as well.
[15:12] Suze: So the bottom line here is, Susan, oh, you cancel
[15:15] Suze: that as fast as you can as long as you
[15:18] Suze: know that you are healthy.
[15:20] Suze: And that nothing seriously is wrong with you. All right, KT, good.
[15:25] KT: OK, this is...
[15:26] Suze: You have to admit that was brilliant.
[15:27] KT: It was pretty brilliant, especially the...
[15:30] Suze: Tax-free part.
[15:31] KT: Yeah, bingo, bingo, bingo,
[15:33] Suze: Because wait, let me tell you why everybody says, oh no, you
[15:35] Suze: want life insurance because life insurance will be tax-free to
[15:39] Suze: the kids. Oh please give me a break, everybody, tax free,
[15:42] Suze: and you paid for it. You left them 100,000.
[15:45] Suze: Ended up paying really 300,000 with growth. No, do it
[15:49] Suze: what I just said to you. Do it that way.
[15:52] Suze: All right, go.
[15:52] KT: OK. This next question is from Kathleen. She said, Suze,
[15:56] KT: thank you for empowering myself and so many women to
[16:00] KT: be financially independent. And then she wrote, especially when we
[16:05] KT: watched our mothers be totally dependent when it came to finances.
[16:11] KT: So she said, I work for a very small business.
[16:14] KT: My boss offers 3% contribution match and has set up
[16:18] KT: a target date traditional IRA. I really do not want
[16:23] KT: to put my money in a target date fund, but
[16:26] KT: I know that one should never say no to free money.
[16:29] KT: Is the free money really worth it when we're looking
[16:32] KT: at $15 a month? On average, I'm contributing around $500
[16:38] KT: a month to my retirement.
[16:41] KT: Should I continue with my employer's plan, or should I
[16:45] KT: opt out and start putting the 15% of my paycheck
[16:49] KT: into a Roth IRA that I already have set up
[16:53] KT: even though I will not be getting the 3% match
[16:56] KT: if I go this route?
[16:58] Suze: Would you give up the match, KT?
[17:00] KT: Yes?
[17:01] Suze: Right away.
[17:02] KT: Oh. Probably I don't, I don't know what's the difference
[17:06] KT: of right away.
[17:07] Suze: What would you, would you ever stop in and just
[17:09] Suze: do the Roth and forget free money?
[17:11] KT: Yeah.
[17:12] Suze: You would?
[17:13] KT: Yeah.
[17:13] Suze: Dinga dinga dinga.
[17:15] KT: Yeah.
[17:15] Suze: That's a yes.
[17:16] KT: Yeah. Oh good!
[17:19] Suze: She cannot believe that she got it right. So listen
[17:22] Suze: to me, Kathleen. Here's the serious problem with this isn't
[17:27] Suze: that it's a target date mutual fund. All right, things
[17:30] Suze: could be worse. It's in an IRA.
[17:35] Suze: And therefore what's happening there is it's growing pre-tax and
[17:41] Suze: as it does get larger, you're going to take it
[17:45] Suze: out and pay ordinary income tax on it. That's number one.
[17:49] Suze: Number two, given that you're only putting in $500 a month,
[17:54] Suze: that says to me that you're kind of not in
[17:57] Suze: a really big tax bracket.
[17:59] Suze: So I would much rather see you take that money
[18:03] Suze: after tax money, contribute it to your Roth.
[18:06] Suze: That's almost $6,000 a year. So you're almost at your max.
[18:12] Suze: You can add a little more there and do it
[18:14] Suze: after tax and forget what your company is offering. If anything,
[18:20] Suze: they should have been doing it with a Roth IRA,
[18:23] Suze: but obviously your boss has whatever and so go alone
[18:27] Suze: and let them do what they want to do. All right.
[18:31] KT: Good. OK, this is from Shelly.
[18:33] KT: I like this question, but it's a little bit, it's
[18:36] KT: a little confusing for me. Hi, KT and Suze. I
[18:40] KT: have a whole life insurance policy that my ex-husband and
[18:43] KT: I took out in 1995.
[18:47] KT: When we divorced, I took over the policy. He is
[18:50] KT: the beneficiary. The death value is 100,000, and the quarterly
[18:55] KT: premiums are 158. Over the 30 years, the total premiums
[19:01] KT: added up to approximately 18,000. The total fund value is
[19:05] KT: only 6,500.
[19:08] Suze: Welcome to the world of whole life insurance.
[19:09] KT: Oh my God, wait, 1995. That's all they have the value.
[19:15] KT: So I just received...
[19:16] KT: Now you know why on the top 10 hate list.
[19:19] KT: I just received my annual statement and noticed the cost
[19:22] KT: of the insurance for 2025 was $1,120 with expense charges
[19:28] KT: of $109. Interest credited was only $266.
[19:35] Suze: Welcome to the world of Whole Life Insurance.
[19:37] KT: Suze. I could use your help in determining whether the
[19:40] KT: policy is worth keeping or not.
[19:42] KT: I love the show. I listen all the time. You
[19:46] KT: gave me the confidence to manage my money and educated me,
[19:52] KT: and I want you to know that my Fidelity account,
[19:55] KT: which just tipped 1 million this year, saved me thousands
[20:00] KT: in fees. There you go. So tell everyone, well, well,
[20:04] KT: she kind of said it herself.
[20:06] Suze: Yeah, she did.
[20:07] KT: She knows what to do.
[20:08] Suze: But here's what I want you to get, KT.
[20:12] Suze: 158 quarterly over 30 years would be about $62,000 just
[20:21] Suze: like in nothing, right, not whatever so here's the bottom line.
[20:27] Suze: Get rid of it. Just get rid of it. It
[20:31] Suze: makes absolutely no sense. If it wasn't part of your
[20:35] Suze: divorce decree where you had to keep an insurance policy
[20:40] Suze: on yourself, get rid of it as long as you
[20:43] Suze: know you are healthy. Whole life insurance is always a
[20:47] Suze: waste of money. I've never seen one example where it
[20:50] Suze: is not a waste of money.
[20:53] Suze: Again, many of you know I have a top 10
[20:56] Suze: hate list, and maybe whole life insurance is on the
[20:59] Suze: very top of that list. Many of you may have
[21:02] Suze: a policy, but you are terminally ill. You need to
[21:06] Suze: then not get rid of it, but if you are
[21:08] Suze: still healthy.
[21:09] Suze: If things are good, can you just do me a
[21:12] Suze: favor and get rid of it? And if you want,
[21:17] Suze: take that $158 quarterly and invest it in your own
[21:21] Suze: Roth or something else, or maybe take your ex out
[21:24] Suze: to dinner and tell him, I'm not insured anymore, so
[21:28] Suze: go for it yourself, boyfriend.
[21:32] KT: He was the beneficiary.
[21:34] Suze: I know.
[21:34] KT: Right? Even that part was like, wait a minute,
[21:37] Suze: But no, that's why I asked this that it wasn't
[21:39] Suze: part of the divorce decree because if it is, she's
[21:43] Suze: got to keep it, but maybe you can switch it
[21:45] Suze: to a term life insurance or just pay them out.
[21:51] KT: All right, this is from Debbie. Debbie said, Suze and KT,
[21:55] KT: I believe you said an IRA does not belong in
[21:58] KT: a trust. I don't think you can put one in
[22:00] KT: a trust. What about an HSA?
[22:03] Suze: Keep going. Is that it?
[22:05] KT: Yeah, that's the question.
[22:06] Suze: All right, so
[22:07] KT: I think you can have an HSA. Can you?
[22:10] Suze: No, KT, you cannot, right, so.
[22:13] Suze: An IRA. I want you to think about the initials,
[22:17] Suze: whether it's a Roth or a traditional IRA. It stands
[22:22] Suze: for Individual Retirement Account. It's not a TRA, a trust
[22:30] Suze: retirement account. It's an IRA.
[22:34] Suze: Therefore, you cannot put an account that's for an individual
[22:39] Suze: into a trust. You can make the trust the beneficiary,
[22:44] Suze: but you should only do that if you are not married,
[22:49] Suze: because you never want the primary beneficiary of an IRA
[22:54] Suze: to be a trust if you're married, because then if
[22:57] Suze: you were to die.
[22:59] Suze: Your spouse wouldn't be able to take it over as
[23:02] Suze: their own, so your spouse is always the primary beneficiary
[23:07] Suze: of your IRA. The secondary, if you have minor children
[23:11] Suze: or whatever, can be the trust. Now, I just want
[23:14] Suze: to say this, very different than a 401k plan.
[23:19] Suze: An IRA you do not have to, if you are married,
[23:23] Suze: leave your spouse, the beneficiary of that IRA in an
[23:28] Suze: employee sponsored plan like a 401k.
[23:31] Suze: Your spouse has to sign off if you're going to
[23:34] Suze: leave it to somebody else other than your spouse. That
[23:37] Suze: is not true with an IRA. So if you have
[23:42] Suze: money in an IRA and you are not happy with
[23:46] Suze: your spouse, you do not have to leave him or
[23:50] Suze: her any money just so you know.
[23:54] Suze: But again, the trust cannot be an owner of an IRA.
[23:58] Suze: The same is true with a health savings account.
[24:02] Suze: It cannot be owned by a trust because it's a
[24:06] Suze: health savings account on yourself. A trust is not a
[24:10] Suze: human being, so it can't be insured. Do not make
[24:14] Suze: the mistake of leaving a trust as a beneficiary of
[24:20] Suze: an HSA because if you do, if you have any
[24:23] Suze: money in there, because remember you can invest money in
[24:26] Suze: a health savings account.
[24:28] Suze: It has to be distributed taxable to whoever the beneficiaries
[24:34] Suze: of your trust happen to be, and even if the
[24:37] Suze: beneficiaries of your trust is your spouse, it does not matter.
[24:42] Suze: It has to be distributed and taxable to him or her.
[24:46] Suze: So again you would want to leave it to an
[24:50] Suze: individual if that individual, especially was your spouse because then
[24:54] Suze: the spouse can take it over as their own as well.
[24:58] Suze: Next question, KT.
[25:00] KT: OK, this is...
[25:01] Suze: Did you find that interesting?
[25:02] KT: I did. I, I think that I knew that an
[25:05] KT: IRA definitely cannot individual means it can't...
[25:09] Suze: But did you find it interesting that if I want,
[25:11] Suze: I don't have to leave my IRA to you.
[25:15] KT: Who would you leave it to?
[25:16] Suze: Nobody, just you, OK.
[25:20] KT: OK, next question. I like this. This is very sweet.
[25:24] KT: Hello Women and Money podcast team.
[25:27] KT: That's KT and Susie. We're the team.
[25:30] Suze: And Robert.
[25:31] KT: All right, and Robert. So my name is Sage. I'm 22.
[25:36] KT: I live in Germantown, Ohio, and I work full time
[25:40] KT: as an industrial mechanic on rotating day and night shifts.
[25:44] KT: Good for you, Sage. We need great mechanics in this world.
[25:49] KT: So he said, Susie, I'm reaching out with a big
[25:51] KT: but honest ask. I'm carrying roughly $20,000 in debt, including
[25:58] KT: collections and the vehicle deficiency, and my credit score is
[26:02] KT: around 521. I earn a steady income, and I'm not
[26:07] KT: looking for a shortcut that lets me avoid responsibility.
[26:11] KT: I want to settle what I owe. I want to
[26:14] KT: rebuild my credit, and I want to become ready for
[26:18] KT: a home and marriage. Is that the sweetest?
[26:22] Suze: I think.
[26:23] KT: I love that.
[26:24] Suze: Who's gonna marry somebody with $20,000 of debt.
[26:26] KT: Well wait, I have a feeling that Sage, he ends
[26:29] KT: it with and become ready for home and marriage. He's
[26:32] KT: got some fiance behind him.
[26:35] KT: That probably wrote this for him. Really, I think that
[26:39] KT: we have to help him.
[26:40] Suze: So Sage, here's what I really want to tell you
[26:43] Suze: to do number one, when you have a bad FICO score.
[26:48] Suze: And you have debt that's already in collections, which means
[26:51] Suze: it is past 90 days due. It's past that. Don't
[26:56] Suze: think that by paying off that debt, your FICO score
[27:01] Suze: is going to go up. It will not, just so
[27:04] Suze: you know. So the first thing you want to do
[27:07] Suze: is look at your credit report.
[27:11] Suze: And look at the debt that you have that is
[27:13] Suze: more currently past due, then way past due and deal
[27:17] Suze: with that debt first because that will help your FICO
[27:21] Suze: score more than paying off debt that has already been
[27:25] Suze: written off, so to speak. That's number one. Number two,
[27:29] Suze: you are to contact the NFCC, the National Foundation of
[27:35] Suze: Credit Counseling, so NFCC.org.
[27:40] Suze: And they will set up a payment plan for you.
[27:43] Suze: You will work with a counselor there. It will cost
[27:46] Suze: you probably 10 to $20 a month. And what happens
[27:50] Suze: is they make a deal with your credit card companies
[27:54] Suze: to lower your interest rate so that you pay them
[27:58] Suze: and they pay your credit cards and
[28:01] Suze: they're actually funded by the credit card companies. A lot
[28:05] Suze: of them are because the credit card companies would rather
[28:08] Suze: get something rather than nothing. But here's the thing.
[28:13] Suze: Right? I want to rebuild my credit and become ready
[28:17] Suze: for home and marriage. Great.
[28:21] Suze: But before you can do that, you have to look
[28:24] Suze: at yourself in the mirror.
[28:27] Suze: And you have to ask yourself why when somebody has
[28:31] Suze: the intelligence to be an industrial mechanic, why am I
[28:38] Suze: such a screw up when I can't even put the
[28:41] Suze: nuts and bolts together of a dollar, savings, credit cards,
[28:45] Suze: or anything like that? What is going on in your
[28:49] Suze: life today? You have got to look at this because
[28:52] Suze: otherwise you're just gonna fix it and you're gonna screw
[28:55] Suze: it up all over again.
[28:57] Suze: You're gonna strip the screw that you want to put
[28:59] Suze: in that bolt or in that hole, so it's a
[29:02] Suze: solid connection, and that's what I need you to do
[29:07] Suze: for yourself.
[29:08] Suze: So, you have got to go within and see why
[29:11] Suze: you are doing without. How did you spend that money?
[29:14] Suze: Why did you spend that money? You knew exactly what
[29:17] Suze: you were doing when you did it, right? You have
[29:20] Suze: a vehicle deficiency, you have collections. You were like this
[29:24] Suze: entitled little kid that thought they can just buy anything
[29:27] Suze: they want and not have to pay for it.
[29:30] Suze: So the best way to pay for it is to
[29:32] Suze: stand in your truth and tell yourself, why did you
[29:37] Suze: do this and then promise yourself you are never going
[29:41] Suze: to do that again and you'll figure that out as
[29:45] Suze: you're going to NFCC.org KT go on.
[29:50] KT: Good for you, Sage. I know you can do it.
[29:52] KT: I have faith in him. I have a great deal
[29:54] KT: of faith in him.
[29:56] KT: My last question is from Karen, Suze. She said, hello,
[29:59] KT: Suze and KT and her subject said, not sure what
[30:03] KT: to do. I'm writing today with a heavy heart. I
[30:07] KT: am a 54-year-old teacher and my 59-year-old husband is being
[30:12] KT: assessed for early onset dementia. We also have a 17-year-old
[30:17] KT: daughter at home. I have been listening to your podcast
[30:20] KT: since December 2025.
[30:23] KT: I tried to get long-term care insurance, but he's not
[30:27] KT: eligible because of his memory issues.
[30:31] KT: I honestly don't know what to do at this point.
[30:34] KT: He is able to stay home while I work for now,
[30:37] KT: but I'm so concerned for his care and safety as
[30:40] KT: the disease progresses. I cannot quit my job and stay
[30:44] KT: home since I've been the main wage earner for 3 years.
[30:48] KT: We need the health and care benefits attached to my job.
[30:52] KT: Suze, our whole family is overwhelmed by the situation. For
[30:56] KT: several years, he didn't want anyone to know, but I
[30:59] KT: finally demanded that we reach out for help from friends
[31:03] KT: and family. They've all been supportive with making appointments, taking
[31:08] KT: him to doctors, finding resources such as Social Security disability.
[31:13] KT: But Suze, how do I plan for this when I
[31:16] KT: had no plan in place?
[31:19] Suze: So KT...
[31:20] KT: So true.
[31:21] Suze: This is one of those emails that I came across
[31:25] Suze: and I wrote her back.
[31:26] KT: Oh, what did you tell her to do?
[31:28] Suze: And it was a long answer that I wrote her,
[31:31] Suze: but I'll try to remember what I said to her.
[31:34] Suze: But you know, a lot of times you guys, when
[31:37] Suze: I read certain emails.
[31:40] Suze: Not that all your questions don't touch my heart, but
[31:44] Suze: there's certain people that really need help right now with
[31:49] Suze: a situation that you can't change, such as your husband
[31:53] Suze: has early onset dementia.
[31:56] Suze: And he doesn't qualify for long term care insurance. So
[32:00] Suze: what does somebody do? And these are the things that
[32:04] Suze: I'm sure I said to her. The very first thing
[32:07] Suze: KT I told her is she's got to get the
[32:09] Suze: must-have documents while he still has some mental capacity.
[32:15] Suze: He and she needs a living revocable trust, an advanced directive,
[32:20] Suze: a durable power of attorney for health care, financial power
[32:23] Suze: of attorney, all of that while he can still sign
[32:28] Suze: those documents. So I told her to go to must-havedocs.com
[32:32] Suze: and get them.
[32:34] Suze: And the reason that that's so important, everybody, is that
[32:38] Suze: once your spouse becomes incapacitated, and let's just say both
[32:43] Suze: of them, KT own their home, they maybe have their
[32:46] Suze: home and they own an in joint tenancy with right of survivorship.
[32:50] Suze: Now he becomes incapacitated, he doesn't recognize everything.
[32:55] Suze: And they need to sell the house, they can't, because
[32:58] Suze: it takes two signatures to sell a house that's in
[33:02] Suze: both your names, but with a living revocable trust.
[33:07] Suze: That has an incapacity clause in it like the must-have
[33:10] Suze: documents have then she can sign for him, he can
[33:15] Suze: sign for her if it were reversed, and they would
[33:18] Suze: be protected and then she also has the right to
[33:22] Suze: make health decisions for him.
[33:25] Suze: If it's needed, all right, so that was number one. Also,
[33:29] Suze: I've told her to really check Social Security disability and
[33:34] Suze: try to get it to start now.
[33:37] Suze: Because it's possible that the onset of early Alzheimer's, that's
[33:43] Suze: on the Social Security Compassionate allowance list. So if they
[33:49] Suze: simply got it fast tracked, they could get money now
[33:54] Suze: rather than have to wait for it.
[33:57] Suze: And here's what I'm telling you, nobody tells anybody. While
[34:01] Suze: your daughter is still a minor, she may qualify for
[34:05] Suze: a dependent benefit on his record because she is only 17,
[34:10] Suze: KT and so the clock is running out. So I
[34:14] Suze: asked about it, that she should absolutely right now, without
[34:19] Suze: a shadow of a doubt, apply. Also, you need to
[34:24] Suze: fear about him being home alone.
[34:26] Suze: You need to understand that that is a reality and
[34:30] Suze: we all know that's a reality because they wander and
[34:32] Suze: think the real answer to her question is that they
[34:37] Suze: need an adult day program that's structured, that's supervised, that
[34:43] Suze: has all of that. So I asked her to call
[34:45] Suze: the elder care locator.
[34:49] Suze: And the number was 800-677-1116, and I remember that number
[34:54] Suze: because of how many people I have had call the
[34:57] Suze: elder care locator, as well as the Alzheimer's Association helpline. Now,
[35:03] Suze: that number I don't know by heart, but you can
[35:06] Suze: call that number. They're open 24 hours a day. They're free.
[35:10] Suze: And I'm telling you it's what you need to do
[35:14] Suze: and that ends this all of a sudden call in
[35:17] Suze: the middle of the night panic like I don't know
[35:19] Suze: where he is, he's gone.
[35:22] Suze: And trust me, that happens, right, right, so you can't buy,
[35:27] Suze: she said she can't buy long term care insurance now.
[35:30] Suze: Now listen to me, everybody.
[35:32] Suze: You don't wait until you're 60 or 65 or 70
[35:38] Suze: to get long term care insurance. Really, Phyllis Shelton, who
[35:42] Suze: is the expert in my opinion on long term care insurance,
[35:45] Suze: will tell you 45 or 50 is the absolute best
[35:50] Suze: time to get it. Your premiums are less. You're usually healthy.
[35:56] Suze: Because as you get older, as soon as something like
[35:58] Suze: this happens, forget it, you're not going to get it. So,
[36:03] Suze: you should all reach out to Phyllis Shelton at Phyllis,
[36:07] Suze: P H Y L L I S at got LTCI.com,
[36:14] Suze: which stands for Got Longterm Care Insurance.com. So, Phyllis at
[36:19] Suze: got LTCI.com.
[36:21] Suze: And she will help you, and you need to know,
[36:24] Suze: I do not get a referral fee. I do not
[36:27] Suze: make one penny, just so you know.
[36:29] Suze: She is the best and I get so many thank
[36:33] Suze: you letters from all of you seriously, who have spoken
[36:38] Suze: to her or her team and said, oh my God,
[36:40] Suze: she helped me, she helped me so much we didn't
[36:42] Suze: even buy anything from her and she still helped us.
[36:46] Suze: So therefore, though, back to the point that I was making, right,
[36:50] Suze: you have to understand who pays and who doesn't pay.
[36:55] Suze: So please everybody, just remember that Medicare does not cover
[37:00] Suze: long term custodial care. Medicaid, however, does, and you only
[37:06] Suze: qualify for medical when you're totally broke, all right? So
[37:11] Suze: I'm not exactly sure that you want to do that,
[37:14] Suze: but it does have some protection, specifically for women like you,
[37:19] Suze: just so you know.
[37:21] Suze: And rules that let at home spouses keep a share
[37:24] Suze: of their assets and income so you aren't left destitute.
[37:28] Suze: All right. Also remember there is a 5 year look
[37:32] Suze: back on transfers, so I told her not to move money,
[37:36] Suze: do not give things to the kids, do not take
[37:39] Suze: on single asset protection steps without consulting an elder lawyer.
[37:45] Suze: And last, and I think there was only five things
[37:48] Suze: that I told her, but I'm going into detail with
[37:51] Suze: all of you on this answer, because so many of
[37:53] Suze: you are in this situation.
[37:57] Suze: So the last thing I told her was that she
[38:00] Suze: was not to cash out her retirement, not for his care,
[38:04] Suze: not for her daughter's college, that she builds a saving
[38:07] Suze: cushion as high as she can, eight months, you know,
[38:11] Suze: I want you to have at least an eight month
[38:13] Suze: emergency savings account.
[38:15] Suze: And her situation actually calls for more. She should try
[38:20] Suze: to open a HELOC right now while she is employed,
[38:24] Suze: and qualifying will be easy for her because you never
[38:28] Suze: know when she may have to use it. You might
[38:30] Suze: want to go to myalliant.com. They really do have the
[38:34] Suze: best home equity line of credit
[38:37] Suze: offer out there but it's only good in 28 states
[38:41] Suze: so go to my alliant.com and see if one of
[38:45] Suze: your states is eligible for a home equity line of credit.
[38:50] Suze: They tell me that in October all the states will
[38:54] Suze: be eligible, but we'll see if that's true or not.
[38:57] Suze: She needs to check in the district that she lives
[39:00] Suze: in if they have a flexible spending account, an FSA,
[39:05] Suze: that allows dependent care for an adult who can't care
[39:09] Suze: for themselves, and usually that can be pre-tax dollars towards
[39:14] Suze: adult daycare. That was just a few of the things
[39:17] Suze: that I told her, and I am telling all of you.
[39:21] Suze: So those are the things that you need to know.
[39:24] KT: So bottom line, there's many resources available for her.
[39:27] Suze: Yes, great, but you know what's funny, KT? All people
[39:31] Suze: want to know is what stock should I buy, what ETF,
[39:34] Suze: what should I do with my money.
[39:36] Suze: And they never think about what are you gonna do
[39:41] Suze: with your money if that happens to your spouse, if
[39:43] Suze: it happens to you, if there's an accident, because so
[39:47] Suze: many times when I was actually seeing clients.
[39:51] Suze: I saw it over and over again all the money
[39:54] Suze: that we saved for them gone gone fast, fast, all
[40:00] Suze: because they didn't plan correctly they didn't have long term
[40:03] Suze: care insurance and they didn't really think that ever could
[40:07] Suze: happen to them.
[40:08] KT: The what ifs of life.
[40:10] Suze: All right, now go wash your hair.
[40:15] KT: OK, on that note, we bid you farewell.
[40:18] Suze: Until next week. There's really only one thing we want
[40:24] Suze: you to remember, and it's this
[40:26] KT: people first, then money, then things.
[40:29] Suze: Now you stay safe. Bye bye everybody.

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