# 434 | From quiet to confident: wisdom for bringing your dreams to life (part 2: you don’t need to rush)

An episode of [The Art of Speaking Up](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1436888741), 16 Sep 2026, 25 min.

Audio: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2630838/episodes/19818929-434-from-quiet-to-confident-wisdom-for-bringing-your-dreams-to-life-part-2-you-don-t-need-to-rush.mp3

Welcome to part two in my Wisdom for Bringing Your Dreams to Life series. Today’s episode is counterintuitive: I’m going to argue that the best way to develop a confident voice is to do it slowly. It’s totally normal to want to make progress quickly, but what we don’t realize is that rushing can sneakily sabotage us. The end result is ironic. Being in a rush causes you to grow more slowly. In this episode, I’m breaking down why this happens and I’m suggesting a different approach to growth that involves less pressure and is way more effective. I am so excited to walk you through this. Apply to The Art of Speaking Up Academy: https://jessguzikcoaching.com/academy/ Email me: jessica@theartofspeakingup.com Listen to the deep dive episode on The Academy: SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4J3Bi0ifmuImurHMAPQtMr?si=e65GBtlsQNi6Wz_-XC1ukg APPLE: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ready-to-speak-like-a-powerful-leader-enrollment/id1436888741?i=1000789222606

## Transcript

[0:00] SPEAKER_00: If you've ever compared yourself to people around you who are speaking super confidently and thought to yourself, why is it so easy for them, but taking me so long to get good at this?
[0:13] SPEAKER_00: Maybe it made you think I'm not growing fast enough.
[0:16] SPEAKER_00: I better hurry up and figure this out so that I can sound more confident too.
[0:22] SPEAKER_00: Today, my goal is to remove that pressure and convince you that you don't need to hurry up at all.
[0:32] SPEAKER_00: My goal is to convince you that when you rush and you hurry to grow and build that confident voice, you actually end up progressing more slowly.
[0:45] SPEAKER_00: And the opposite is true.
[0:47] SPEAKER_00: When you give yourself permission to grow slowly, you end up building the confidence more quickly.
[0:55] SPEAKER_00: And I know that this sounds counterintuitive and it sounds very opposite to what you'd expect.
[1:01] SPEAKER_00: But in my six years of coaching, I've seen it over and over.
[1:05] SPEAKER_00: When we're in a hurry, it feels productive and it gives us some instant relief because we feel like we're taking a lot of action and moving forward, but it keeps us stuck in really sneaky ways.
[1:20] SPEAKER_00: And today I'm going to show you what those ways are and offer you a better, more reliable approach.
[1:28] SPEAKER_00: Welcome to part two of my wisdom for bringing your dreams to life series.
[1:34] SPEAKER_00: This is a three-part episode series where I am sharing my best advice on how to bring your big goals and big dreams to life.
[1:43] SPEAKER_00: And today I am teaching you how to bring your dreams to life by allowing yourself to go slowly, by giving yourself enough time.
[1:53] SPEAKER_00: So if you've ever felt rushed or worried you're behind, this episode is going to be a game changer for you.
[2:00] SPEAKER_00: Before I dive in, I have a time-sensitive announcement, which is that enrollment for my signature program, The Art of Speaking Up Academy, is open.
[2:10] SPEAKER_00: The Art of Speaking Up Academy is for professional women who know that they have untapped leadership abilities and who are ready to bring those abilities out so they can have a bigger impact and a bigger voice at work.
[2:28] SPEAKER_00: Inside this program, I'm going to help you grow your executive presence and express yourself with the polish and persuasion of a seasoned leader.
[2:38] SPEAKER_00: The Academy is not a surface level program where you're just learning tips and tactics.
[2:45] SPEAKER_00: It's a program where I'm helping you transform internally.
[2:48] SPEAKER_00: I'm going to help you build confidence.
[2:50] SPEAKER_00: I'm going to help you leave behind the second guessing.
[2:54] SPEAKER_00: And I'm going to help you feel powerful and capable walking into those high-stakes work conversations.
[3:01] SPEAKER_00: It's a small interactive group coaching experience, which means you get personalized feedback and accountability to make sure that what you are learning is sticking.
[3:12] SPEAKER_00: I am so excited to support you with this growth and change.
[3:16] SPEAKER_00: And if you are ready to grow and change and you're ready to finally show up bigger at work, submit your application by clicking the link in the show notes.
[3:26] SPEAKER_00: Applications are open until September 25th.
[3:30] SPEAKER_00: And for this round only, I'm offering a special bonus.
[3:34] SPEAKER_00: It's called Pathway to Leadership.
[3:36] SPEAKER_00: This is a bonus workshop series that I am doing for this upcoming cohort only, where I'm going to teach you the strategic steps to speed up your path to promotion within your organization.
[3:50] SPEAKER_00: Like I mentioned, applications are open until Friday, September 25th.
[3:56] SPEAKER_00: You can apply using the link in the show notes.
[4:00] SPEAKER_00: And with that, I want to deep dive into the topic of going slowly.
[4:05] SPEAKER_00: I am so excited to talk this through because learning to move slowly has been life-changing for me.
[4:13] SPEAKER_00: It has helped me personally feel like I can accomplish anything.
[4:18] SPEAKER_00: And I am so excited to help you feel that feeling.
[4:22] SPEAKER_00: So, first, I'm going to talk about why trying to rush to accomplish goals doesn't work.
[4:30] SPEAKER_00: Then I'm going to talk about the deeper psychology behind being in a rush and not allowing yourself to grow slowly.
[4:39] SPEAKER_00: And then I'm going to offer you a new way to think about moving slowly and a new better way to approach achieving your goals so that you can make the progress that you desire.
[4:52] SPEAKER_00: So, first, I want to make the case against trying to achieve your goals super quickly.
[4:59] SPEAKER_00: And the reason I want to argue against it is because it's often the instinctual place that we go when we have something that we want to accomplish, right?
[5:10] SPEAKER_00: And it makes total sense.
[5:12] SPEAKER_00: No one wants to wait to feel confident.
[5:14] SPEAKER_00: You don't want to wait to be able to speak more like a leader.
[5:19] SPEAKER_00: You want that to happen now.
[5:21] SPEAKER_00: And who wouldn't?
[5:22] SPEAKER_00: That is a totally human thing.
[5:24] SPEAKER_00: However, it can be really tricky to see the ways in which that tendency to want it immediately can actually slow it down and cause you to move towards that result more slowly.
[5:38] SPEAKER_00: And because I'm a coach and because I watch women go through that full transformation journey, I have a bird's eye view on the ways in which rushing can sabotage us and also the ways in which going slow can help you be more successful.
[5:56] SPEAKER_00: So I want to share that with you.
[5:58] SPEAKER_00: So the first reason that fast growth usually backfires and ends up actually going more slowly is because when you feel like you have to grow quickly, you feel pressure.
[6:11] SPEAKER_00: You feel this heavy weight on you, right?
[6:14] SPEAKER_00: So you might walk into a meeting thinking, like, this has to go well.
[6:18] SPEAKER_00: I'm trying to be more confident.
[6:20] SPEAKER_00: This is my chance to prove it.
[6:22] SPEAKER_00: I have to prove it right now in this meeting.
[6:25] SPEAKER_00: I have to speak up.
[6:26] SPEAKER_00: I have to communicate well.
[6:27] SPEAKER_00: And you feel stressed, you feel tense, you feel anxious.
[6:31] SPEAKER_00: And feeling stress and tense and anxious makes it very hard for you to bring your best performance.
[6:39] SPEAKER_00: We tend to perform well when we feel at ease and when we feel comfortable.
[6:45] SPEAKER_00: And I'm sure you know that when you feel rushed and you feel that panicky sense of like things have to happen immediately, that feels the opposite of comfortable.
[6:56] SPEAKER_00: And so what we don't realize is that in rushing ourselves, we create pressure.
[7:02] SPEAKER_00: And that pressure, ironically, makes it harder for us to perform and harder for us to become the version of us that we were rushing to become.
[7:11] SPEAKER_00: But there are a couple other reasons why trying to grow super quickly backfires.
[7:17] SPEAKER_00: The second reason is that when you're trying to get really quick results and build the confidence super, super fast, it becomes very hard to understand what your next step should be.
[7:30] SPEAKER_00: So if you're trying to go from it's very difficult for me to speak in this meeting, I actually struggle to even get the words out to I want to be vocal and outspoken and I want to sound strategic and I want to say the words perfectly, that's a massive leap.
[7:47] SPEAKER_00: And if you're trying to grow quickly, that's the leap that your brain is going to want to make.
[7:53] SPEAKER_00: It's going to want you to go straight from struggling to speak to speaking amazingly perfectly in that room.
[8:00] SPEAKER_00: Now, the problem is there are so many steps that have to happen in between those two things.
[8:07] SPEAKER_00: And there's not really a path where you can skip all those intermediate steps.
[8:12] SPEAKER_00: So some examples of the intermediate steps are you have to learn to get more comfortable in the room.
[8:18] SPEAKER_00: You have to learn to tolerate hearing the sound of your own voice in that room.
[8:23] SPEAKER_00: You have to learn to get comfortable starting to speak before having fully planned out exactly what you're gonna say.
[8:29] SPEAKER_00: Then you have to learn to express your ideas more clearly, and then you have to learn to stand behind your ideas and be more confident.
[8:37] SPEAKER_00: So there's a bunch of steps that stack on one another, and there isn't really a way to learn them, internalize them, and master them all in one foul swoop.
[8:48] SPEAKER_00: And when you're in a rush, that's what your brain is asking you to do.
[8:52] SPEAKER_00: So it's kind of like saying, I want to bake this elaborate cake, but I don't want to have to like get out the bowls and measure the flour and measure the butter and then add like the wet mixture to the dry mixture.
[9:06] SPEAKER_00: I just want to like have the cake.
[9:08] SPEAKER_00: Well, there isn't really a way to make that happen.
[9:11] SPEAKER_00: And that's why I sometimes get very irritated when people in the self-help world and industry use the phrase quantum leap.
[9:21] SPEAKER_00: It bothers me.
[9:22] SPEAKER_00: And it's not that I don't want people to experience growth in their life that feels magical and feels wonderful.
[9:30] SPEAKER_00: I just feel that it sets this really dangerous expectation that we should be able to get to this wild outcome without actually having like a logical, rational path to get there.
[9:44] SPEAKER_00: And then I think it can make you feel like a failure or something's wrong with you because you didn't have this magical experience when really big growth happens as a series of small strategic steps.
[9:56] SPEAKER_00: So that's another reason why trying to grow really quickly backfires, you end up skipping all of the steps in the middle, and it becomes impossible to envision a path from point A to point B, which leaves you not knowing what your next step should even be.
[10:12] SPEAKER_00: And the final reason why trying to grow really quickly backfires is because our psychology changes in the same way that it was built.
[10:24] SPEAKER_00: So here's what I mean: if you're trying to be more confident, speak up more at work, find your voice in the workplace, you're trying to change how you feel internally.
[10:35] SPEAKER_00: You're trying to feel less insecure, you're trying to second guess yourself less, you're trying to feel more confident and more self-assured.
[10:43] SPEAKER_00: So that's a pretty significant pivot in your internal state.
[10:47] SPEAKER_00: And the pivot that you're making is likely unwinding and unraveling an internal state that you've developed over many, many years.
[10:58] SPEAKER_00: So if you question yourself, if you have some insecurities, which is totally normal, by the way, that didn't just happen overnight.
[11:06] SPEAKER_00: That was the result of many years of life experiences stacking on top of one another over time to shape you into the person that you are today.
[11:16] SPEAKER_00: It took many years for you to become the way that you are.
[11:20] SPEAKER_00: And so to then expect that in one week or one afternoon, or after listening to one podcast episode, you should suddenly be able to change who you are internally is asking yourself to do something that isn't possible.
[11:35] SPEAKER_00: It's an unfair ask of yourself.
[11:37] SPEAKER_00: Now, this doesn't mean that you can't change who you are.
[11:40] SPEAKER_00: So I'm not trying to say, like, oh my gosh, we spend so many years becoming who we are and now it's impossible to change as adults.
[11:48] SPEAKER_00: What I'm saying is that change requires time.
[11:51] SPEAKER_00: And if you want to experience real transformation in your psyche and in how confident you feel, you have to give yourself time to unwind some of those traits and tendencies that you may have absorbed over the years.
[12:08] SPEAKER_00: So stepping back, trying to grow really quickly backfires because it puts pressure on you.
[12:14] SPEAKER_00: Pressure makes it really hard for you to show up and perform your best.
[12:18] SPEAKER_00: It makes it hard for you to know what next step to take because your mind is trying to make a leap that is too big to make in one foul swoop.
[12:27] SPEAKER_00: And also it doesn't work because your psyche is formed over a long period of time.
[12:33] SPEAKER_00: And therefore, it's going to take a certain amount of time to start to shift things and change things.
[12:39] SPEAKER_00: And so the result of all of this is that when we're in a rush to grow, we end up sabotaging ourselves and growing even slower.
[12:49] SPEAKER_00: And then because we're in a rush, we panic and we think, oh my gosh, I'm not making progress.
[12:54] SPEAKER_00: Like, oh my gosh, I tried to do better in that meeting and I failed.
[12:58] SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, I listened to that podcast episode and I still wasn't able to express myself effectively.
[13:04] SPEAKER_00: And that panic sometimes then tells us, I better double down and I better go even faster.
[13:10] SPEAKER_00: And what we have to do is we have to actually resist that and do the opposite.
[13:15] SPEAKER_00: And we have to recognize that the desire to go quickly is in itself the thing that's holding us back.
[13:22] SPEAKER_00: And now the thing that's going to help you succeed is having the courage and audacity to grow more slowly.
[13:30] SPEAKER_00: Now, to help you pivot from trying to grow quickly to giving yourself time and letting yourself go slowly, we have to understand why we rush in the first place.
[13:44] SPEAKER_00: Because if you can understand why it feels like you have to do it quickly, then you'll know how to change things and go more slowly.
[13:53] SPEAKER_00: So often the desire to grow really quickly is coming from an underlying fear that something is wrong with you.
[14:04] SPEAKER_00: When you worry that maybe you're defective or you're broken or you're just missing something that other people have, it can create a sense of panic and urgency.
[14:15] SPEAKER_00: And it can create a desire to create quick results so that you can finally feel like nothing is wrong with you.
[14:24] SPEAKER_00: So you imagine that you'll feel relief when you finally build the confidence and find your voice because you'll stop feeling like something is wrong with you.
[14:33] SPEAKER_00: Now, a way to test whether you're having this experience and whether it's that feeling of being broken or that feeling of unworthiness that's causing you to want to rush through the growth process, a good thought exercise you can do to assess that is to ask yourself, can I tolerate being a beginner?
[14:57] SPEAKER_00: Like if I'm a beginner at something and people are watching me do it and I'm learning to do it and I'm not very good at it because I'm just getting started, how does that feel for me?
[15:08] SPEAKER_00: Does that feel terrible?
[15:09] SPEAKER_00: And do I feel like I'm failing because I don't know how to do this thing and I'm vulnerable?
[15:14] SPEAKER_00: Or am I able to be a beginner and be kind of bad at something, but still feel okay with myself and still feel okay about who I am?
[15:23] SPEAKER_00: If you have troubles being a beginner, if you have troubles being in that phase where you're not yet good at something, that's a sign that part of you is incorrectly thinking that something is wrong with you.
[15:35] SPEAKER_00: Because when you think something is wrong with you, then it feels intolerable to reveal that to the world.
[15:42] SPEAKER_00: So it's intolerable to be bad at something or to be a beginner because that feels like you're really showing people the real you.
[15:49] SPEAKER_00: Like people are seeing the real incompetent you who doesn't know what you're doing.
[15:54] SPEAKER_00: And so you really don't want them to see that.
[15:56] SPEAKER_00: Whereas when you feel worthy inside and you have genuine confidence, you're not self-conscious about those things.
[16:02] SPEAKER_00: You don't really think anything's wrong with you.
[16:04] SPEAKER_00: You don't feel a need to prove yourself.
[16:06] SPEAKER_00: So being a beginner, being bad at something, being new to something doesn't feel threatening to you.
[16:11] SPEAKER_00: You're still okay with who you are.
[16:13] SPEAKER_00: And now you can see why feeling like you're in a hurry to grow is actually a symptom of worrying that something is wrong with you, right?
[16:22] SPEAKER_00: Like when you're in a hurry to grow, you want to get out of that beginner phase.
[16:26] SPEAKER_00: It feels intolerable.
[16:28] SPEAKER_00: You want to stop being incompetent.
[16:30] SPEAKER_00: But when you're confident and you're secure in who you are, you don't feel that same panicked urgency.
[16:37] SPEAKER_00: You don't feel like, oh my gosh, I better get good at this right away.
[16:40] SPEAKER_00: You want to grow and you want to improve, but you're okay giving yourself the proper amount of time to do that because being new, being a beginner, being imperfect doesn't threaten you.
[16:52] SPEAKER_00: And so one of the ways that we learn to go slow is we start by repairing our relationship with ourselves.
[17:02] SPEAKER_00: And we start by building our belief that nothing is wrong with us, that it's okay to be imperfect.
[17:08] SPEAKER_00: It's okay to be bad at something, it's okay to be a beginner, it's okay to not be the most competent person in the world who's really good at every possible thing.
[17:18] SPEAKER_00: If we can get ourselves to that place, then the panic and the urgency goes away.
[17:25] SPEAKER_00: And now we can actually focus and do the work and give it the timeline it requires.
[17:31] SPEAKER_00: And it's super ironic, right?
[17:33] SPEAKER_00: Because the way to become great and the way to build the confidence and the way to develop that powerful voice is to be able to get yourself to the psychological place where you can say to yourself, I'm not good at it yet.
[17:47] SPEAKER_00: It's hard for me right now.
[17:49] SPEAKER_00: I am a beginner and I'm still okay with myself.
[17:54] SPEAKER_00: Now, a lot of my clients are afraid that if they get to a place where they feel okay with themselves, all of their motivation is gonna go away and they're not going to want to grow at all.
[18:05] SPEAKER_00: And I have never seen that happen in my six years of coaching.
[18:10] SPEAKER_00: What I see happen is that your motivation doesn't go away, your motivation changes.
[18:17] SPEAKER_00: Instead of being motivated by fear and this feeling of panic that something's wrong with you.
[18:23] SPEAKER_00: And so you need to quickly grow to fix it, you're motivated by desire and by a deep belief in yourself.
[18:32] SPEAKER_00: So you pivot from a state of mind where you're thinking like something's wrong with me, I'm broken, and therefore I need to get better at this, to thinking nothing is wrong with me.
[18:42] SPEAKER_00: I have so much to offer the world, and I want to get better at this so that I can achieve my full potential.
[18:49] SPEAKER_00: So your growth and your desire to grow is motivated by liking who you are and wanting to be more of yourself as opposed to disliking who you are and feeling that urgent need to change yourself.
[19:06] SPEAKER_00: And I just see this as one of the most beautiful win-win situations that you could possibly create for yourself.
[19:14] SPEAKER_00: You get to feel better inside, you get to feel at peace with yourself, you get to leave behind your insecurities.
[19:22] SPEAKER_00: And it just so happens that in doing that, it's going to take the panic and the pressure and the urgency out of your growth process while also making your growth process more effective.
[19:36] SPEAKER_00: And this is why I get so excited about the work that I do and the way that I support my clients, because I'm not just helping them develop their voice and take up more space in the world and have a bigger impact in the workplace.
[19:52] SPEAKER_00: I'm helping them do that while simultaneously building a healthy, self-compassionate, self-supporting relationship with themselves.
[20:05] SPEAKER_00: And I believe as women, we deserve this so much.
[20:09] SPEAKER_00: We deserve not just the success, but we deserve to feel good and at peace inside while we are achieving that success.
[20:19] SPEAKER_00: And how beautiful is it that the better you feel inside and the more at peace you feel inside, the more successful you will be.
[20:28] SPEAKER_00: If you are realizing that this is the approach that you want to take, this is the work that I do with my clients.
[20:36] SPEAKER_00: And I do it at two levels.
[20:38] SPEAKER_00: There's the very surface level, sort of literal approach, and then there's a deeper approach.
[20:44] SPEAKER_00: So on the surface, when I'm helping my clients grow, I'm doing it slowly.
[20:49] SPEAKER_00: I don't do quick programs.
[20:52] SPEAKER_00: My group program is about six months long.
[20:55] SPEAKER_00: I don't jam in tons and tons of material.
[20:59] SPEAKER_00: We go at this slow, gentle pace.
[21:02] SPEAKER_00: And I do this because I know that going quickly doesn't work.
[21:07] SPEAKER_00: I know that when we remove the pressure and we allow ourselves to relax and exhale and take our time, that's when we actually start seeing progress because we're able to perform so much better when we remove the pressure.
[21:24] SPEAKER_00: But at an even deeper level, when I am working with you, I'm also helping you learn to feel okay with yourself and learn to leave behind some of those insecurities that were causing you to rush in the first place.
[21:42] SPEAKER_00: It's not just about going slow, it's about developing a more accepting and peaceful relationship with yourself so that you don't feel that panicky, urgent feeling to go really, really quickly.
[21:57] SPEAKER_00: So when I'm working with you, I'm not just going to be teaching you how to speak up and how to find your voice as a leader.
[22:05] SPEAKER_00: I'm also going to be teaching you how to leave behind your insecurities and how to stop feeling afraid that something is wrong with you so that your growth is motivated by your desire to be more of yourself and take up more space as opposed to your desire to change into someone different.
[22:28] SPEAKER_00: I want to help you like and appreciate the person that you are because that's what's going to enable you to pivot from feeling like you're broken and feeling like you need to rush to change and fix yourself to feeling like you are capable and powerful just as you are.
[22:47] SPEAKER_00: And your next step is to amplify your voice as a leader so that you can bring more of yourself and more of your innate gifts and innate greatness into the world.
[23:01] SPEAKER_00: So it's not just about developing a strong voice as a leader, it's about developing that rock solid relationship with yourself so that you walk into every room liking the person who you are.
[23:17] SPEAKER_00: That is the most powerful foundation that you can build when it comes to developing a powerful voice as a leader.
[23:25] SPEAKER_00: If you are ready to make that happen, I want to invite you to work with me.
[23:30] SPEAKER_00: Applications for the Art of Speaking Up Academy are open until September 25th, which is a Friday.
[23:38] SPEAKER_00: Apply by clicking the link in the show notes.
[23:42] SPEAKER_00: And if you have questions about the program, I'm going to put my email in the show notes.
[23:47] SPEAKER_00: Feel free to reach out to me.
[23:49] SPEAKER_00: And one final thing that I'm going to link in the show notes, I'm going to share an episode where I deep dive into the Art of Speaking Up Academy, where I talk through the curriculum and who it's a good fit for so that you can assess whether this is the right next step for you.
[24:07] SPEAKER_00: So you will find everything that you need in the show notes and all of the links that I mentioned.
[24:14] SPEAKER_00: I am so excited to read your application and to get to guide you in doing this work.
[24:20] SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for tuning into this episode.
[24:23] SPEAKER_00: And I have one more episode coming in this series.
[24:27] SPEAKER_00: So stay tuned and I'll catch you there.
[24:30] SPEAKER_00: Bye!

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