# 501 Coffee Break: Why Does God Answer Other People’s Prayers, but Not Mine?

An episode of [Praying Christian Women](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1436550370), 9 Oct 2026, 27 min.

Audio: https://pscrb.fm/rss/p/traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/5e27a451-e6e6-4c51-aa03-a7370003783c/a837a939-ace6-481d-bf0d-b28100f43afd/21045c3b-9256-4412-be28-b4de00cd8aa2/audio.mp3?utm_source=Podcast&in_playlist=6aef5ed9-9c32-4b5a-9f54-b28100f43e4b

Don't forget to grab your free scripture journal at PrayingChristianWomen.com/journal today! Why does God seem to answer other people’s prayers, but not yours? In this Coffee Break episode, Jaime and Alana tackle a deeply personal question that can leave us feeling overlooked, discouraged, and afraid to ask what’s really on our hearts: Does God love me less? When someone else celebrates a miraculous healing or shares another incredible answer to prayer, it can be difficult to rejoice while you’re still waiting—or grieving an outcome you never wanted. The co-hosts explore how hearing only the highlights of other people’s prayer lives can shape our perception of God’s work, and how comparison can cause us to overlook the ways He is already providing for us. Through personal stories of answered prayer and painful loss, Jaime and Alana discuss the temptation to blame God, ourselves, or others when our prayers have different outcomes. Jaime shares how keeping a prayer journal helped her recognize God’s work in her life, while Alana offers a simple practice for building gratitude into everyday moments. They also explore how to share testimonies with compassion, celebrating what God has done without suggesting that a particular outcome is guaranteed if we just pray hard enough. Together, they encourage us to bring our jealousy, disappointment, and unanswered questions honestly to God, while making room for both gratitude and grief. Whether you’re struggling to celebrate someone else’s blessing, wondering why your own prayers seem unanswered, or looking for a more sensitive way to share your story, we hope this episode brings you comfort, fresh perspective, and reassurance that a different answer to prayer does not mean you are less loved. Discover More: Explore additional episodes of Praying Christian Women, Mindful Christian Prayers, and other Christian podcasts at Lifeaudio.com Check out our new podcast, Christian True-Crime Junkies!, on Apple, Spotify, or anywhere you listen to podcasts! Connect with Us: Stay updated and engage with our community: On Substack @PrayingChristianWomen On Facebook @PrayingChristianWomen On Instagram @PrayingChristianWomen On YouTube: @PrayingChristianWomen Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

## Transcript

[0:02] Speaker 1: Life Audio.
[0:03] Speaker 2: Welcome to the Praying Christian Women podcast. I am Alana
[0:08] Speaker 2: here with Jamie. How are you doing?
[0:10] Speaker 1: I'm doing great. How about you?
[0:12] Speaker 2: Good. We have another coffee break episode today. These are
[0:16] Speaker 2: where listeners like you can submit questions to us at prayingchristianwomen.com.
[0:22] Speaker 2: Jamie and I get to show up and just discuss it.
[0:26] Speaker 2: So we love when you send in the topics that
[0:30] Speaker 2: are on your mind. And We have gotten multiple variations
[0:35] Speaker 2: of today's questions, so I'm really glad that we get
[0:39] Speaker 2: to cover it.
[0:41] Speaker 3: Yeah, it's definitely something that comes up a lot and,
[0:45] Speaker 3: you know, something that needs to be addressed. So let's
[0:48] Speaker 3: read the question. We got an anonymous Coffee Break submission.
[0:51] Speaker 3: Why does God seem to answer other people's prayers but
[0:55] Speaker 3: not mine?
[0:57] Speaker 2: And.
[0:58] Speaker 3: The variations that we get are somewhere along the lines of,
[1:01] Speaker 3: you know, why doesn't God answer my prayers? Or why
[1:05] Speaker 3: does someone else seem to have a closer relationship with
[1:08] Speaker 3: God or have like things happening regularly where they're like, oh, yeah,
[1:13] Speaker 3: this is what God did in my life. And maybe
[1:16] Speaker 3: not as loved is kind of what it comes across. Like,
[1:18] Speaker 3: does God love me? I think that's what the crux
[1:20] Speaker 3: of this is. Does God love me less? Because I'm
[1:24] Speaker 3: asking and I'm not experiencing those answers.
[1:27] Speaker 2: Yeah, like God has a favorite child and that child
[1:30] Speaker 2: gets whatever they want. Imagine the trope of the sister
[1:35] Speaker 2: who feels like her other sister gets everything she wants.
[1:39] Speaker 2: And sometimes we can feel that way. And I think
[1:43] Speaker 2: my very first knee-jerk reaction to this question, we're going
[1:46] Speaker 2: to dive mostly into how do we handle that feeling
[1:50] Speaker 2: and not the actual feeling. why is this the case?
[1:54] Speaker 2: But I think there is one why is this the
[1:56] Speaker 2: case that I want to address. And that would be
[1:59] Speaker 2: the exact same thing as why does everybody else look
[2:01] Speaker 2: like they have a happier marriage or healthier children or
[2:06] Speaker 2: a more tidy or peaceful home on Instagram? Well, it's
[2:10] Speaker 2: because it's self-selecting. People are going to share their wonderful
[2:15] Speaker 2: answers to prayer. If you have a terrible prayer disappointment,
[2:21] Speaker 2: you're not as apt to share that in testimony form
[2:25] Speaker 2: with people because we are wired to have a testimony mean,
[2:30] Speaker 2: I was in trouble. God did this thing. I was
[2:34] Speaker 2: out of trouble. Praise the Lord. And so those are
[2:38] Speaker 2: the stories that we hear. And that doesn't mean that
[2:41] Speaker 2: people are fake by sharing those testimonies. It also doesn't
[2:45] Speaker 2: mean that people are phony by sharing a picture of
[2:48] Speaker 2: their happy family. It just means that we self-select the
[2:55] Speaker 2: image that we want to convey. And sometimes it's just
[2:59] Speaker 2: because we don't want to be downers, right? Like, I
[3:01] Speaker 2: don't want to come across as, you know, everybody who
[3:05] Speaker 2: shares an answer to prayer is a terrible self-centered person,
[3:08] Speaker 2: because that's not true at all. When something really cool
[3:12] Speaker 2: happens in your life, it's really fun to share. Like,
[3:14] Speaker 2: you were the very first person I told, like, the
[3:17] Speaker 2: moment I realized that God had provided a keyboard for
[3:20] Speaker 2: us and I had been praying for a piano. And
[3:24] Speaker 2: that one really was like kind of a George Mueller
[3:26] Speaker 2: type of thing, like knocking on the door. Hey, I
[3:29] Speaker 2: got this keyboard. Can you take it off my hands?
[3:31] Speaker 2: I mean, that was almost how it was.
[3:33] Speaker 1: Yeah.
[3:34] Speaker 2: And so it's great to share testimonies of answered prayer.
[3:38] Speaker 2: But when all you hear are the testimonies of answered prayer,
[3:42] Speaker 2: that leaves you feeling isolated. Just like when all you
[3:46] Speaker 2: see are the pictures of beautiful, tidy homes, you feel
[3:50] Speaker 2: like everybody's got it more together than I do.
[3:53] Speaker 1: And that's just not the case.
[3:55] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[3:56] Speaker 3: And I think confirmation bias plays a role too. I
[4:00] Speaker 3: almost feel like there are certain things where if you
[4:03] Speaker 3: get something into your head, you're going to see facts
[4:08] Speaker 3: lining up with what you're worldview is it's like the
[4:11] Speaker 3: red light phenomenon that i've shared with my husband i
[4:14] Speaker 3: know my poor husband but um but yeah it's like
[4:18] Speaker 3: the red lights thing it's it's i believe that i
[4:20] Speaker 3: get more than most people do and so i'm gonna
[4:24] Speaker 3: you know put it out there and it's possible you
[4:27] Speaker 3: know maybe he does get more you know maybe there's
[4:29] Speaker 3: like an electromagnetic he jokes you know and i do
[4:31] Speaker 3: too maybe maybe there's like an electromagnetic attraction they sense
[4:35] Speaker 3: you coming but um but If you think that it's true,
[4:39] Speaker 3: you're going to notice the red lights. If I decide
[4:41] Speaker 3: I'm going to buy a Toyota truck, then all I
[4:45] Speaker 3: see on the road is Toyota trucks. And if I
[4:49] Speaker 3: have this seed planted in my mind that God doesn't
[4:54] Speaker 3: answer my prayers but answers others, I'm going to just
[4:57] Speaker 3: pick up on every single person that talks about answered prayer.
[5:01] Speaker 3: And that's going to be what I glean from life.
[5:05] Speaker 3: And if you look at it that way, it could
[5:07] Speaker 3: be really damaging. It could be a really damaging viewpoint.
[5:11] Speaker 2: And it can turn into self-fulfilling prophecy. It can turn
[5:14] Speaker 2: into God doesn't ever answer my prayers. And so then
[5:18] Speaker 2: I pay attention to the 2% of prayers that weren't
[5:21] Speaker 2: answered the way I wanted and not the 98% of
[5:24] Speaker 2: times God provided for me. And then I become even
[5:27] Speaker 2: more convinced that my prayers don't work. So then I
[5:29] Speaker 2: pray less. So then I experience even fewer blessings. So
[5:33] Speaker 2: it can turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy of being disappointed
[5:39] Speaker 2: with life. And I think a really good, just jerk
[5:44] Speaker 2: yourself out of that mindset is really focusing on gratitude.
[5:49] Speaker 2: Because when you train yourself to say thank you for
[5:52] Speaker 2: every single green light, it's going to be impossible for
[5:55] Speaker 2: you to think that you're the kind of person who
[5:57] Speaker 2: only gets red lights. Or I've trained myself to the
[6:01] Speaker 2: two things that I do. opening the fridge or cupboard
[6:05] Speaker 2: or opening my bank app and to make sure that
[6:09] Speaker 2: whether there's, you know, whether it's overflowing or totally empty
[6:13] Speaker 2: or negative, the reaction is, thank you for what is
[6:17] Speaker 2: in here.
[6:18] Speaker 1: Yeah. No, that's so important.
[6:21] Speaker 3: I remember in college, I kind of had, I don't know,
[6:27] Speaker 3: like kind of rededicated my life to Christ. I started
[6:31] Speaker 3: getting more serious about reading the Bible and actually studying
[6:35] Speaker 3: scripture and doing a prayer journal, just keeping a journal.
[6:40] Speaker 3: And when I started keeping a prayer journal, I feel
[6:45] Speaker 3: like my worldview when I look at, you know, when
[6:48] Speaker 3: I translate that time, I kind of examine that time,
[6:52] Speaker 3: is that God began working more closely in my life
[6:58] Speaker 3: and answering more prayers. But the reality is, I started
[7:03] Speaker 3: keeping track and I started writing it down and I
[7:08] Speaker 3: started focusing on it. And then when I noticed an
[7:12] Speaker 3: answer to prayer and was like, whoa, that's so cool.
[7:16] Speaker 3: It inspired me the opposite of what you were saying
[7:18] Speaker 3: of how, you know, believing that he doesn't can inspire
[7:21] Speaker 3: you to withdraw. Seeing one answered prayer, like spurred me
[7:26] Speaker 3: on to pray more and more specifically and more boldly. And,
[7:31] Speaker 3: So it was when those prayers happened that I started
[7:34] Speaker 3: noticing God's work. And I don't think God was working
[7:38] Speaker 3: any more or less in my life. I was just
[7:41] Speaker 3: asking specifically for things that I already knew I needed
[7:45] Speaker 3: and things that I had trouble with, decisions I was
[7:50] Speaker 3: struggling with. And God showed up. But I mean, I
[7:54] Speaker 3: believe He was showing up all along. It's just I
[7:56] Speaker 3: wasn't asking specific... The Bible says you have not because
[8:00] Speaker 3: you ask not. So it is possible that the more
[8:03] Speaker 3: I ask specifically, the more He addressed those specific things
[8:08] Speaker 3: in my life for sure. But the perceived closeness to God,
[8:12] Speaker 3: I think, you know, the Bible tells us that the
[8:15] Speaker 3: Holy Spirit's living in us. I mean, you don't get
[8:17] Speaker 3: closer than that. So anytime there's like a disconnect, it's from,
[8:23] Speaker 3: you know, for the most part, I think it's from
[8:26] Speaker 3: our perception rather than the reality. So another tool in
[8:31] Speaker 3: addition to gratitude is beginning to journal, beginning to pray specifically,
[8:37] Speaker 3: write down specific things that you need help with or
[8:40] Speaker 3: that you're struggling with.
[8:41] Speaker 1: And when God does move, look for those things and
[8:45] Speaker 1: write them down. And I really think that that will
[8:48] Speaker 1: help your perception.
[8:50] Speaker 3: Yeah.
[8:51] Speaker 2: And then again, bringing it back to Thanksgiving is don't
[8:54] Speaker 2: be like The nine lepers who were healed and didn't
[8:57] Speaker 2: come back to thank God for that and thank.
[9:00] Speaker 1: Jesus for that.
[9:01] Speaker 2: When you see those answers, prayers coming back and giving
[9:04] Speaker 2: thanks isn't just polite. And it's definitely not done so
[9:10] Speaker 2: that we butter God up. But it puts a marker
[9:14] Speaker 2: on the answer to prayer. It's a concrete reminder. God
[9:23] Speaker 2: did this thing kind of like writing it out in
[9:24] Speaker 2: a journal. a concrete reminder, God answered this prayer or
[9:28] Speaker 2: God provided for me in this way.
[9:31] Speaker 3: Yeah, and then you can take all of those answered
[9:46] Speaker 3: prayers and stick it to the people you were jealous
[9:48] Speaker 3: of before.
[9:49] Speaker 1: And just put it out there and be like, look, see? No,
[9:52] Speaker 1: I'm just kidding.
[9:52] Speaker 2: Yeah. With a real neener, neener, neener kind of attitude.
[9:56] Speaker 1: That's right. I know God knows that.
[9:57] Speaker 3: Yeah.
[9:58] Speaker 1: But, you know. Let's talk about. that jealousy though. Yeah.
[10:01] Speaker 3: I was going to say, we have not brought that
[10:03] Speaker 3: word into it until this point, but it kind of,
[10:05] Speaker 3: I mean, it could kind of be called, I don't
[10:08] Speaker 3: know if it's prayer jealousy, if it's like envy of
[10:12] Speaker 3: what would you call it? Do you think?
[10:13] Speaker 2: Yeah, like when I think of prayer jealousy, I think of,
[10:17] Speaker 2: I am envious of your prayer life.
[10:19] Speaker 1: Yes, same here.
[10:19] Speaker 2: We've addressed that tons of times. This is more of,
[10:25] Speaker 2: I am jealous that God seems to be blessing you and.
[10:31] Speaker 1: Not blessing me.
[10:32] Speaker 2: And it can be really hard. I've been on both
[10:37] Speaker 2: sides of it. One really poignant one is, Scott was
[10:40] Speaker 2: teaching and sharing the testimony of God's very miraculous healing
[10:44] Speaker 2: in our NICU baby's life. And halfway through, a mom
[10:50] Speaker 2: was like, well, we had a story that started off
[10:52] Speaker 2: kind of similar and our baby died. So what do
[10:55] Speaker 2: we do with that? And that is a terrible, impossible
[11:00] Speaker 2: question to answer on the spur of the moment when
[11:03] Speaker 2: you're going on about God's miraculous healing. And so I
[11:09] Speaker 2: think I would say the two things that I would
[11:13] Speaker 2: caution people against is when you are the other mom
[11:19] Speaker 2: in that scenario, the mom whose baby died and someone
[11:23] Speaker 2: else is rejoicing about a miraculous medical healing, the two
[11:27] Speaker 2: things I would say that would be the easiest traps
[11:31] Speaker 2: and temptations to fall into is, well, God doesn't love
[11:36] Speaker 2: me as much or God wasn't there for me. So
[11:38] Speaker 2: either blaming God Or blaming the other person, right? Oh,
[11:45] Speaker 2: aren't you lucky, but you don't know what it's like.
[11:48] Speaker 2: You know, so you almost put yourself in competition with
[11:51] Speaker 2: the other person and they have no idea that you're
[11:53] Speaker 2: doing that. In a very similar way that we can
[11:57] Speaker 2: put ourselves in a one-sided competition with people on social media.
[12:00] Speaker 2: They might not even know who we are.
[12:02] Speaker 1: And we might be.
[12:03] Speaker 2: Wasting like hours of emotional energy a week You know,
[12:07] Speaker 2: being like, well, you look so good, but I hope
[12:11] Speaker 2: you have mold in your bathroom, you know, or just
[12:15] Speaker 2: something dumb like that. Or I actually thought of one more.
[12:19] Speaker 2: The third pitfall is to blame it on yourself. To say,
[12:23] Speaker 2: I must have had unconfessed sin. I must not have
[12:26] Speaker 2: been trusting God enough. And... When you strip those, those
[12:33] Speaker 2: are the three easiest explanations, right? Blame God, blame the
[12:36] Speaker 2: other person, or blame yourself. When you strip those away,
[12:38] Speaker 2: I think all you're left with is a need to
[12:42] Speaker 2: have faith even when you don't understand.
[12:46] Speaker 1: Yeah.
[12:47] Speaker 3: We had a very miraculous answer to prayer in our
[12:51] Speaker 3: church in Arizona years ago. And we actually, I had
[12:56] Speaker 3: the parents on to give their testimony on the podcast.
[13:00] Speaker 3: It's episode 67. And their son fell into a pool
[13:04] Speaker 3: and it was Super Bowl Sunday and they were moving
[13:07] Speaker 3: some stuff around and the gate got left and he
[13:11] Speaker 3: basically drowned. And they didn't think there was any way
[13:15] Speaker 3: he was airlifted and they didn't think there was any
[13:17] Speaker 3: way he would recover.
[13:19] Speaker 1: And he did.
[13:21] Speaker 3: And it's an incredible story if you want to go
[13:23] Speaker 3: back and listen. But I also have another friend who
[13:29] Speaker 3: lost a baby. And prayed just as hard for a miracle. And,
[13:35] Speaker 3: you know, it was... I know that she had a
[13:38] Speaker 3: hard time with some of the wording. There was a
[13:41] Speaker 3: newspaper article. And it was basically... Like, it almost was implying...
[13:48] Speaker 3: I mean, it was great because it was talking about
[13:51] Speaker 3: prayer in a secular newspaper article. But it was almost implying,
[13:55] Speaker 3: if you pray hard enough, this is what.
[13:56] Speaker 1: God does, you know? And it really... that wrong.
[13:59] Speaker 3: With her because there's so much pain entangled with that
[14:03] Speaker 3: for the reasons we talked about.
[14:05] Speaker 1: So yeah, it's one.
[14:07] Speaker 3: Thing to just feel kind of like on the surface, like, huh,
[14:11] Speaker 3: this person really seems to be getting a lot more
[14:13] Speaker 3: action from God than me. And then there's another thing
[14:16] Speaker 3: when so much is at stake and these really big
[14:18] Speaker 3: things happen.
[14:20] Speaker 1: Yeah.
[14:22] Speaker 2: Yeah. You know, and I've been thinking a little bit
[14:25] Speaker 2: about like trauma-informed prayer, because that's, you know, that's one
[14:30] Speaker 2: of the new buzzwords. And I think it is important
[14:33] Speaker 2: to be trauma-informed and to recognize that some people do
[14:37] Speaker 2: have trauma or triggers. And like, I think your example
[14:43] Speaker 2: is a really good instance of like trauma-informed testimony sharing
[14:49] Speaker 2: can be important. And not that, you know, in this case,
[14:54] Speaker 2: it was kind of on the on the newspaper. But
[14:58] Speaker 2: when you're sharing a testimony, it can be important to
[15:03] Speaker 2: word things. You know, like I had someone, like a
[15:08] Speaker 2: friend of my mom's who was involved in our life,
[15:11] Speaker 2: and she sent me a letter when we first became parents,
[15:15] Speaker 2: and her kids were like college age and up by then.
[15:18] Speaker 2: And I remember her writing and she's like, and, and
[15:21] Speaker 2: what I learned is that when you pray and you
[15:24] Speaker 2: put God first, he's going basically like, this wasn't verbatim.
[15:27] Speaker 2: When you pray and put God first, your kids are
[15:29] Speaker 2: going to grow up to worship him. And then like,
[15:32] Speaker 2: I watched some of her kids wander. I've, you know, and,
[15:35] Speaker 2: and I know that's not true, but at her points
[15:40] Speaker 2: in her parenting, she saw the fact that I prayed
[15:44] Speaker 2: for my kids. I raised my kids in the church.
[15:46] Speaker 2: As of this moment of writing this sweet, encouraging letter
[15:49] Speaker 2: to someone that I love and care for very much
[15:53] Speaker 2: and want to encourage, my children all have the outward
[15:55] Speaker 2: appearance of walking with the Lord. So therefore, the truth
[16:01] Speaker 2: must be that if you do A, then B happens.
[16:04] Speaker 2: And that's what we need to be careful about with
[16:06] Speaker 2: testimonies or sharing. And I also feel like, especially when
[16:13] Speaker 2: we talk about triggers, that can go overboard for sure.
[16:17] Speaker 2: So it's like, oh, so now I can't talk about
[16:19] Speaker 2: how God took care of our NICU baby because some
[16:23] Speaker 2: NICU babies don't come out of the NICU? No, I
[16:26] Speaker 2: don't think that that means that the person giving the
[16:28] Speaker 2: testimony silences their story. But maybe there is a way
[16:32] Speaker 2: to not put it in absolutes, to not put it in,
[16:35] Speaker 2: and we prayed for our son and God healed him
[16:37] Speaker 2: and have it just, amen, and to recognize that, yeah,
[16:42] Speaker 2: there are complexities there.
[16:45] Speaker 1: Yeah.
[16:45] Speaker 3: I know on the podcast, I don't always know where
[16:49] Speaker 3: the trigger warnings need to be and don't want to
[16:52] Speaker 3: go overboard, don't want to go overboard and then have
[16:55] Speaker 3: someone struggle. But it is just important, I think, to
[17:01] Speaker 3: be aware.
[17:01] Speaker 1: Yep.
[17:03] Speaker 2: And my thought is if you are extremely triggered, like
[17:08] Speaker 2: I don't even today, like almost 19 years later, I
[17:13] Speaker 2: don't watch anything that has to do with like traumatic
[17:17] Speaker 2: birth stuff. Like my husband and I watched House MD.
[17:20] Speaker 2: It's like a medical TV series. I'm like, if the
[17:24] Speaker 2: first scene was in a delivery room, I'm like, nope,
[17:27] Speaker 2: I don't even need to know what happens.
[17:29] Speaker 1: And maybe the baby's fine.
[17:30] Speaker 2: And maybe this has nothing to do with a sick infant,
[17:34] Speaker 2: but there's just an immediate note. So Yes, we can
[17:38] Speaker 2: be sensitive to others, but our sensitivity isn't going to
[17:42] Speaker 2: know how every single person is going to react. As
[17:45] Speaker 2: an example, I wrote an email talking about Alaska and
[17:49] Speaker 2: sharing what I considered a pretty funny story of how
[17:52] Speaker 2: my husband slipped on the ice, bonked his head so bad,
[17:55] Speaker 2: like he lost a couple weeks of memory.
[17:57] Speaker 1: I remember this. I remember this. And I was just,
[18:01] Speaker 1: oh my gosh.
[18:02] Speaker 2: And someone wrote back and she's like, yeah, that happened
[18:05] Speaker 2: to my husband too, and he died.
[18:07] Speaker 1: And she was very gracious.
[18:10] Speaker 2: There was not even a remote sense of how in
[18:13] Speaker 2: the world could you make light of a story like this?
[18:16] Speaker 2: It was more of a, yeah, that ice is no joke.
[18:32] Speaker 2: There might be some people who'd be like, how in
[18:34] Speaker 2: the world could you put a funny spin on a
[18:36] Speaker 2: story about something? And in that case, I would have
[18:40] Speaker 2: had to have examined myself and realized my conscience was clear.
[18:44] Speaker 2: I couldn't have known. You know, that is such a
[18:47] Speaker 2: fluke thing. And I couldn't have known. So all I'm
[18:51] Speaker 2: saying is it's not 100% on the person sharing a
[18:55] Speaker 2: testimony or sharing a story to know every single potential thing.
[19:00] Speaker 2: that might trigger somebody. And if you know things might
[19:03] Speaker 2: trigger you, kind of like me and House MD, sometimes
[19:07] Speaker 2: it's on you to just not put yourself in that
[19:10] Speaker 2: situation if you can help it. Yeah. It's tricky and
[19:14] Speaker 2: it's hard. And I don't at all want that to
[19:16] Speaker 2: come across as, you know, if you get triggered, then.
[19:19] Speaker 1: It's your fault. Because it's not.
[19:21] Speaker 2: It's trauma.
[19:22] Speaker 1: It's the.
[19:24] Speaker 2: impact of living in a fallen world where really bad
[19:26] Speaker 2: things have happened to you physically and emotionally and spiritually,
[19:30] Speaker 2: and your body remembers that and your soul remembers that.
[19:33] Speaker 2: So it's hard. It is important to have that at
[19:38] Speaker 2: least a little bit in our minds when sharing testimonies
[19:41] Speaker 2: of answered prayer, but not to the point where we're
[19:44] Speaker 2: censoring so much that we're refusing to give God glory
[19:47] Speaker 2: for an answered prayer because someone else might not have
[19:49] Speaker 2: had an answered prayer.
[19:50] Speaker 3: Yeah, or just even being mindful of when and where
[19:53] Speaker 3: to share it. You know, like if you have a
[19:56] Speaker 3: friend who's struggling with infertility and you have a testimony
[20:02] Speaker 3: regarding that, maybe you don't share that.
[20:06] Speaker 1: Maybe you just encourage that person.
[20:07] Speaker 2: Yeah, but you've got another friend too. Right? Because some people,
[20:10] Speaker 2: they don't want to be walked on eggshells over.
[20:12] Speaker 1: Do you know what I mean? Yeah, exactly. It's really
[20:14] Speaker 1: hard to know. Yeah. No, that's a really, that's a
[20:17] Speaker 1: good point. Yeah.
[20:19] Speaker 2: So sometimes if it's a close friend, I think sometimes
[20:22] Speaker 2: the best is to just approach them and be like, hey.
[20:25] Speaker 2: So for example, my roommate and I got engaged like
[20:29] Speaker 2: over the same Christmas break and we were going to
[20:32] Speaker 2: be each other's maids of honor. It was a really
[20:35] Speaker 2: special time. We did all of our wedding dress shopping together.
[20:39] Speaker 2: And she called off her engagement and I was absolutely relieved.
[20:44] Speaker 2: It was a good thing. But then she, you know,
[20:47] Speaker 2: a couple months later, she's at my wedding and she
[20:50] Speaker 2: was so kind and so gracious. Do you know how
[20:52] Speaker 2: this story ends? Have I told you the happy ending? No,
[20:56] Speaker 2: I actually fell in love with Scott's best man.
[20:59] Speaker 1: I was going to.
[21:00] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[21:01] Speaker 3: If you had asked me to write the romance novel version,
[21:04] Speaker 3: that's what I would have.
[21:05] Speaker 1: That's what I would have thought.
[21:06] Speaker 2: And it was super cute. But, um, but in a
[21:10] Speaker 2: in a case like that she was beautiful and gracious
[21:15] Speaker 2: and willing to celebrate with me and it would have
[21:18] Speaker 2: hurt her feelings if I had been so much like
[21:20] Speaker 2: oh we can't talk about weddings around her because did
[21:24] Speaker 2: you know that she had this terrible breakup that would
[21:28] Speaker 2: have made it worse but in other cases I could
[21:31] Speaker 2: have gone so like hey is this going to be
[21:33] Speaker 2: too much for you like um going to a baby
[21:36] Speaker 2: shower after you've had a miscarriage. Is that going to
[21:39] Speaker 2: be too much? And it's okay to ask somebody, is
[21:41] Speaker 2: this too much for you? And if so, I totally understand. Yeah.
[21:45] Speaker 3: And I was in a situation like that where I
[21:47] Speaker 3: was engaged and the engagement was broken off. And I
[21:53] Speaker 3: remember my roommates from college, I think we went on
[21:59] Speaker 3: a ski trip or something, and they wanted to watch.
[22:03] Speaker 1: The runaway bride or my best friend's wedding or something.
[22:06] Speaker 1: And I was like, of course that's fine. But they
[22:08] Speaker 1: were like nervous, you know, they were like, we want
[22:11] Speaker 1: to watch this, but is it going to be okay?
[22:12] Speaker 1: Is it going to trigger you? And yeah.
[22:14] Speaker 2: Right. Which is sweet of them to care, but also
[22:17] Speaker 2: would have been over burdensome if they were too.
[22:21] Speaker 1: Awkward about it. So it's hard, you.
[22:24] Speaker 2: Know, and, and we're all, we're never going to know
[22:27] Speaker 2: how every single individual is going to And maybe there
[22:31] Speaker 2: are even cases where like on one day you would
[22:33] Speaker 2: have loved to have watched a funny rom-com and on
[22:35] Speaker 2: other days it would have been the worst thing in
[22:37] Speaker 2: the world. So sometimes there's absolutely no way. Just like
[22:41] Speaker 2: there was no way I could have known that someone
[22:43] Speaker 2: on my email list had lost a husband due to
[22:46] Speaker 2: falling on the ice. You know, just sometimes we just
[22:50] Speaker 2: don't know. And we can be gracious afterwards without accepting
[22:54] Speaker 2: moral guilt for having offended or triggered someone. You know
[22:58] Speaker 2: what I mean?
[22:58] Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.
[23:00] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[23:00] Speaker 3: Well, so to kind of recap the, I feel like
[23:04] Speaker 3: we talked about two sides of this. I feel like
[23:06] Speaker 3: we talked about the, like, when you are feeling jealous
[23:10] Speaker 3: of someone's relationship with God or how God is working
[23:12] Speaker 3: in their life, that, you know, doing some journaling, gratitude,
[23:19] Speaker 3: focusing on just even the smallest blessings and kind of
[23:24] Speaker 3: you know, just pointing yourself Godward, even when things don't seem,
[23:29] Speaker 3: I loved your tip about like the bank account, the,
[23:33] Speaker 3: you know, opening.
[23:34] Speaker 1: Up the fridge or the pantry, right. This fridge or
[23:37] Speaker 1: the pantry, like just focusing on gratitude.
[23:40] Speaker 3: I love that in regardless of what the actual situation
[23:44] Speaker 3: is that God is at work in it. And, um,
[23:47] Speaker 3: and then like on the other side, I feel like
[23:50] Speaker 3: for us to be mindful of being sensitive, to sharing
[23:55] Speaker 3: our joy, sharing our prayers.
[23:56] Speaker 1: I mean, I feel like sharing.
[23:57] Speaker 3: Our testimonies is sometimes, sometimes it's just like an overflow
[24:04] Speaker 3: of what God's doing in us and we can't help it.
[24:06] Speaker 3: You know, like some of the biblical stories where they're
[24:08] Speaker 3: just like, oh my gosh, this is amazing. But to
[24:12] Speaker 3: have that sensitivity of the trauma triggers, trauma informed.
[24:17] Speaker 2: Well, and I would even say in sharing testimony, like
[24:20] Speaker 2: don't hold back. I think the only thing to avoid,
[24:24] Speaker 2: is making a blanket statement that says, and because I
[24:30] Speaker 2: prayed for deliverance from addiction, I never had a craving again, right?
[24:36] Speaker 2: And making it sound universal, right? Like you can say that,
[24:39] Speaker 2: that is some people's story. And that is a beautiful,
[24:42] Speaker 2: powerful testimony. But I think in a case like that,
[24:45] Speaker 2: it's like, and I know this isn't everyone's situation, but
[24:49] Speaker 2: this is how God worked in my life. And to
[24:51] Speaker 2: not ascribe... your own, I did this, so God blessed
[24:58] Speaker 2: me in this way to it. Like a testimony should be,
[25:00] Speaker 2: God blessed me. It shouldn't be, I was so good
[25:04] Speaker 2: that I earned God's blessing. Right.
[25:07] Speaker 3: Or this formula happens, God always acts this way in
[25:11] Speaker 3: this situation.
[25:12] Speaker 1: Because yeah, because he doesn't. He's very creative. Yes.
[25:19] Speaker 2: If you find somebody who's answered a prayer or their
[25:21] Speaker 2: testimony is to triggering for use of a loaded term.
[25:26] Speaker 2: I would say just use that as information, take it
[25:30] Speaker 2: to God. I don't think the response is to go
[25:32] Speaker 2: to them unless it's like a super close friend. I'd
[25:35] Speaker 2: say like find somebody else to talk to or talk
[25:38] Speaker 2: to God about it and be like, I know that
[25:40] Speaker 2: I'm supposed to rejoice with my sister in the Lord
[25:43] Speaker 2: because of this, but all her testimony does is remind
[25:48] Speaker 2: me of what God didn't do in my life.
[25:49] Speaker 1: And it's okay to sit with that.
[25:51] Speaker 2: And when you come to God with that, or you
[25:53] Speaker 2: come to a close godly friend with that, it's not
[25:57] Speaker 2: going to stay there forever, right? It's just acknowledging the
[26:01] Speaker 2: weather of the day and not denying that that's how
[26:06] Speaker 2: you feel and also recognizing, I'm not going to feel
[26:09] Speaker 2: this way all the time, so it's okay.
[26:11] Speaker 1: Yeah.
[26:12] Speaker 2: Well, thank you for submitting that question, and you can
[26:16] Speaker 2: submit questions to us at prayingchristianwomen.com slash questions, and we
[26:20] Speaker 2: would love to discuss what's on your mind.
[26:23] Speaker 1: And thank you all for listening.
[26:29] Speaker 3: We'd like to take just a quick second to thank
[26:31] Speaker 3: the team at Life Audio for their partnership with us
[26:33] Speaker 3: on the podcast.
[26:34] Speaker 1: If you go to lifeaudio.com, you.
[26:36] Speaker 3: Will find dozens of other faith-centered podcasts in their network.
[26:40] Speaker 1: They've got shows about prayer, Bible study, parenting, and so
[26:43] Speaker 1: much more. That's lifeaudio.com.

Shows are listed from Apple Podcasts' charts and directory, and Podcast Index where it is used. Every show and episode belongs to its publisher and plays from the publisher's own feed; this site hosts none of them.