# Imperfect Men Can Build Boys Too

An episode of [ON BOYS Podcast](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1358171705), 30 Jan 2025, 42 min.

Audio: https://pdst.fm/e/pscrb.fm/rss/p/audio2.redcircle.com/episodes/54d41e4a-fb8b-4512-a802-e00847c24b6d/stream.mp3

Imperfect men helped Greg Hlavaty become a good guy. “I think what saved me were men who stepped in as surrogate fathers,” Greg wrote in a recent essay. Those men weren’t exactly role models: One, Greg says, “was openly racist and bragged about having lobbed bricks from overpasses in his youth.” The other was “a middle-aged alcoholic…who regularly taught class drunk.” But both “really listened” to Greg, encouraged him, and were “genuinely proud” of his accomplishments. They connected with Great — and that, as they say, made all the difference. Make Room for Less-Than-Perfect Men Limiting boys’ contact with less-than-ideal role models might be harming our boys — and our men. In this conversation, Greg & Jen explore the surprising ways flawed, imperfect men can shape boys into compassionate, confident adults, as well as how we can encourage supportive connections between boys & men. Takeaways: • Surrogate father figures can have a profound impact on young men’s lives. • Red flags in behavior should be assessed with context, not stigma. • Accountability from mentors can guide young men towards better choices. • Community involvement is essential in raising boys to be good men. • Engaging in a child’s interests can strengthen bonds. • Many men feel unqualified to mentor young people. • Our culture often discourages intergenerational connections. • Being present in a young person’s life can have a significant impact. Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode: Stop Ignoring the Mental Health of Young Men — Greg’s essay In Praise of Imperfect Men — Building Boys Bulletin post by Jen What About Less-Than-Ideal Role Models? — Building Boys post by Jen Sponsor Spotlight: Hello Fresh Get 10 FREE meals at HelloFresh.com/FreeONBOYS Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

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