# Grateful They Kept Me, Grateful They Left Me // God Chose You (Part 6) // Pastor Charles Metcalf

An episode of [Transformation Church](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1348831124), 20 Jul 2025, 59 min.

Audio: https://dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/api.spreaker.com/download/episode/67048763/250720_sundayservice_podcast.mp3

WEEK 6: GOD CHOSE YOU// GRATEFUL THEY KEPT ME GRATEFUL THEY LEFT ME// PASTOR CHARLES METCALF Depending on where we are in life, we can have a tendency to either glorify or vilify past and present friendships. But no matter what we’ve experienced, there’s always space to remain grateful for those who have stayed and for those who are no longer in our lives. In Week 6 of God Chose Me, Pastor Charles Metcalf encourages us to find the gift in every friendship we’ve encountered, no matter how long or brief it was. In this message, you’ll discover the value of showing gratitude for the people who have championed you, challenged you, and changed you. We pray this message brings healing from past hurts and gives you the courage to build healthy, life-giving friendships moving forward. Scripture References: Philippians 1:3-5 NIV Genesis 50:20-21 AMP Acts 9:10-19 NLT Acts 9:26-27 NLT Galatians 2:11-14 NLT Acts 15:36-40 NLT

## Transcript

[0:02] Speaker 1: Welcome to Transformation Church podcast, where we represent God to
[0:06] Speaker 1: the lost and found for transformation in Christ. We're so
[0:09] Speaker 1: glad you're here and wherever you're listening from, we believe
[0:12] Speaker 1: God will transform your life. Do today's message.
[0:18] Speaker 2: I'm glad you're at church this morning.
[0:19] Speaker 3: We have been in a series called God Chose You
[0:24] Speaker 3: and it's week number six.
[0:25] Speaker 2: Next week is the last week of the.
[0:27] Speaker 3: Series, So make sure I know you can get up
[0:31] Speaker 3: here and preach.
[0:31] Speaker 2: No, I'm joking, I'm about running out stuff to say. No,
[0:36] Speaker 2: I'm playing.
[0:39] Speaker 3: No, I'm grateful for this time. And let me tell
[0:41] Speaker 3: you this. I've been talking to Pastor Michael during this time,
[0:44] Speaker 3: and every week that goes by, I get more grateful
[0:47] Speaker 3: for him doing this forty weeks out of the year.
[0:50] Speaker 2: I'm like, hey, brother, you know this is kind of crazy.
[0:53] Speaker 2: You be getting up here every week and everybody just
[0:55] Speaker 2: looking at you. So did you hear from God this week?
[0:57] Speaker 2: From my life? Because I really need it, because I'm
[0:58] Speaker 2: about to go through it and been on.
[1:00] Speaker 3: What you say is going to direct the next thirty
[1:01] Speaker 3: years of my life.
[1:02] Speaker 2: What you got, Pastor, it's like no pressure. I told him.
[1:06] Speaker 3: I was like, hey, brother, I just be. I don't
[1:08] Speaker 3: be receiving that pressure. I'm just like, hey, you need
[1:10] Speaker 3: to read a Bible for yourself. I hope this help you.
[1:12] Speaker 2: But amen. So anyways, but.
[1:15] Speaker 3: I'm grateful for this time. Hey, before we jump into
[1:18] Speaker 3: the message. Cool announcement today, at three pm, we are
[1:22] Speaker 3: dropping the God Chose Me T shirt that has never
[1:26] Speaker 3: been released anywhere.
[1:27] Speaker 2: At three pm.
[1:28] Speaker 3: If you go to Charles Metcalf dot com scanning QR co,
[1:31] Speaker 3: you can get those shipping it all over the place,
[1:33] Speaker 3: all over Whelm, shout out to all these cool kids
[1:35] Speaker 3: that were in the shoe.
[1:35] Speaker 2: Can't give it up for them.
[1:36] Speaker 3: These are kids and Scent Youth Ministry and Charlie she
[1:39] Speaker 3: just grown and Coke and Charlie that was funny. But anyways,
[1:45] Speaker 3: make sure you do that. Go to the store, get
[1:46] Speaker 3: a shirt. It'll be amazing.
[1:47] Speaker 2: All right, y'all ready for the word, let's do it.
[1:50] Speaker 3: If you got your Bibles open to Philippians.
[1:53] Speaker 2: Chapter number one Philippians.
[1:55] Speaker 3: Chapter number one Philippians is that one where you be
[1:59] Speaker 3: quoting when you're doing something you ain't supposed to be
[2:01] Speaker 3: doing and you're not good at it, and you'd.
[2:02] Speaker 2: Be like, I can do all things through Christ. Yeah
[2:05] Speaker 2: that bursts. Go to that book. Man.
[2:09] Speaker 3: Literally, I played on a football team in sixth grade.
[2:12] Speaker 3: We were the what was it, Oh, the what was
[2:15] Speaker 3: the name of that city? I don't know. We lived
[2:17] Speaker 3: in Nashville, but we were the Bears, And let me
[2:19] Speaker 3: tell you, we were trash. But you know we were
[2:21] Speaker 3: a Christian school and so above our little banner before
[2:24] Speaker 3: we walked out of the field, it had that sign
[2:26] Speaker 3: that said I could do all things through Christ re
[2:27] Speaker 3: strangths me. And every week we go out and slap
[2:30] Speaker 3: that sign and didn't do nothing for us. We got
[2:32] Speaker 3: smoked every single time. Because the Bible don't make up
[2:37] Speaker 3: for incompetency. Hello, somebody, that's a.
[2:41] Speaker 2: Whole other sermon. We be claiming stuff you ain't even
[2:43] Speaker 2: good at it. Bible ain't got nothing to do with
[2:45] Speaker 2: you not being able to sing? Okay, why are we
[2:50] Speaker 2: going wold? This ain't no person. Is just general shots.
[2:53] Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. It's not no nothing personal.
[2:56] Speaker 3: If it offends you, that's a great place to take
[2:58] Speaker 3: that to God.
[2:59] Speaker 2: Okay.
[3:00] Speaker 3: Olivia's chapter number one. It says it's in verse number three,
[3:05] Speaker 3: I thank.
[3:05] Speaker 4: God every time I remember you and all my prayers
[3:10] Speaker 4: for all of you. I always pray with joy because
[3:15] Speaker 4: of your partnership in the Gospel from the first day
[3:18] Speaker 4: until now.
[3:20] Speaker 3: I want to read that first portion again. I thank
[3:24] Speaker 3: my God every time I remember you. Title of my sermon.
[3:30] Speaker 3: If you're taking notes, write it down. Grateful they kept me,
[3:36] Speaker 3: Grateful they left me. I'm grateful for the ones who
[3:42] Speaker 3: kept me, and also I'm grateful for the ones who
[3:46] Speaker 3: left me. Lord, we thank you so much for who
[3:49] Speaker 3: you are. I pray that you would meet us in
[3:52] Speaker 3: these next moments in Jesus that we pray, and everybody.
[3:53] Speaker 2: Said, a men, Today, we're.
[3:56] Speaker 3: Gonna talk about friends. Were gonna talk about friends, about relationships,
[4:02] Speaker 3: about the people you mad at right now that you've
[4:04] Speaker 3: done blocked on your Facebook. We gonna talk about everybody.
[4:10] Speaker 3: And I think it's important because this message God chose me,
[4:15] Speaker 3: if you're not careful, will become licensed for immaturity and
[4:19] Speaker 3: give you permission to isolate yourself, which is directly against
[4:24] Speaker 3: the message of Jesus.
[4:26] Speaker 2: I know we love to say it's just me and Jesus.
[4:30] Speaker 3: He's just young, got nobody el but I guess.
[4:32] Speaker 2: Me and God and that's it.
[4:35] Speaker 3: And as amazing as that is, it's completely unbiblical, and
[4:39] Speaker 3: it's not how Jesus lived his life. Jesus, if anybody
[4:44] Speaker 3: had an excuse to not need nobody, it would have
[4:47] Speaker 3: been God himself. But for some reason, he chose to
[4:52] Speaker 3: do life with twelve goons who never understood what he
[4:58] Speaker 3: was saying, who was not paying attention, who he's healing people,
[5:03] Speaker 3: raising people from the dead, and they arguing about where
[5:06] Speaker 3: they gonna sit when they get to heaven.
[5:08] Speaker 2: One of them is planning to flip on him.
[5:11] Speaker 3: The whole time for thirty pieces of change. And Jesus
[5:17] Speaker 3: chose knowing all of this, knowing he would have some
[5:22] Speaker 3: of the friends abandoned him, knowing he would spend a
[5:24] Speaker 3: lot of his time telling them stuff that they would
[5:27] Speaker 3: never get, knowing that it would cost him stuff to
[5:29] Speaker 3: be friends with them, knowing it would slow him down.
[5:33] Speaker 2: Think about that, Think about how.
[5:35] Speaker 3: Jesus could have moved if he didn't have to wait
[5:37] Speaker 3: on nobody. He could have just even gone town to town.
[5:40] Speaker 3: He could have just been back, Bam, I'm in the
[5:42] Speaker 3: next city. But he had to walk really for them,
[5:44] Speaker 3: because if I just hop up and teleport.
[5:46] Speaker 2: On y'all, y'all gonna be really confused.
[5:50] Speaker 3: Gee, Jesus chose to do life with friends, and I'm
[5:53] Speaker 3: afraid in our modern era, social media has really messed
[5:58] Speaker 3: up our definition of friends.
[6:02] Speaker 2: Because when when you first get.
[6:03] Speaker 3: On social media back in the day, when you used
[6:05] Speaker 3: to get on we can go way back. You had
[6:07] Speaker 3: MySpace and then you go to Facebook. Now we've got
[6:09] Speaker 3: a million different things, but really it's distanced our definition
[6:14] Speaker 3: of friends. What it costs to be my friend isn't
[6:18] Speaker 3: as much as it used to be because I can
[6:21] Speaker 3: associate and disassociate with the click of a button. I
[6:25] Speaker 3: can cheer for you when it's going well, but I
[6:27] Speaker 3: can disconnect and act like I don't know you when
[6:30] Speaker 3: it's going bad.
[6:31] Speaker 2: It doesn't cost as much to be a friend. But
[6:34] Speaker 2: the friends you have in your life.
[6:36] Speaker 3: Are one of the greatest gifts God has ever given you,
[6:39] Speaker 3: if you will let it be. The truth is the
[6:42] Speaker 3: many of us, our relationship and context of friendships has
[6:46] Speaker 3: either caused us to do one of two things. We
[6:48] Speaker 3: have either glorified friendship or we have vilified friendship. This
[6:54] Speaker 3: is the two options. We either glorified friendship. So what
[6:57] Speaker 3: we do is is we meet one person and it's like,
[6:59] Speaker 3: this is my person, we're gonna be best friends for life.
[7:04] Speaker 3: And you in third grade and you ain't seen them
[7:08] Speaker 3: since third grade, and it's like, okay, I'll get to
[7:11] Speaker 3: the next place, and then you meet somebody when you're okay,
[7:13] Speaker 3: this is my this is gonna be my people had
[7:15] Speaker 3: you with you to the wheels fall off? First of all,
[7:18] Speaker 3: why the wheels falling off? I don't know if I
[7:19] Speaker 3: want to.
[7:20] Speaker 2: Be with you. If you didn't check your wheels. Come
[7:22] Speaker 2: on now, if you're riding. If I was riding the
[7:24] Speaker 2: Errand's car and his wheels fell off, his car'll be.
[7:27] Speaker 3: Like, hey, brother, you got a lot of issues. I
[7:29] Speaker 3: can't be riding with you. If your wheels is coming off.
[7:32] Speaker 2: Come on. If the oil light come on, I understand it.
[7:33] Speaker 2: But if your wheels come off, Jesus man, what you
[7:36] Speaker 2: been doing. That's a crazy thing.
[7:40] Speaker 3: We'd be saying to the wheels fall off and the
[7:42] Speaker 3: engine blow up. It's like, hey, brother, I may want
[7:45] Speaker 3: to get as far away from you as I can.
[7:49] Speaker 3: But we glorify, meaning we put a lot of value.
[7:52] Speaker 3: The truth is that we should be getting from God
[7:55] Speaker 3: from our relationship with him, and we expect people to
[7:57] Speaker 3: give us stuff. They can't give us. Here's the truth
[8:00] Speaker 3: about a lot of our friendships. A lot of our
[8:02] Speaker 3: friendships have unspoken expectations of you trying to get stuff.
[8:05] Speaker 2: Your mom and dad should have given you.
[8:09] Speaker 3: So you glorify friendship, meaning when you have friends, your
[8:13] Speaker 3: life is amazing. When you don't have friends, the Lord
[8:15] Speaker 3: has forsaken you and everything's going to hell in a
[8:17] Speaker 3: hand basket. Why because you are depending on them to
[8:20] Speaker 3: fix you, depending on them to.
[8:23] Speaker 2: Give you identity.
[8:24] Speaker 3: That's depending on them to show you who you are,
[8:26] Speaker 3: depending on them to bring your status up. And the
[8:29] Speaker 3: truth is they cannot do that for you. So this
[8:33] Speaker 3: is how you are left. Feelings so let down every
[8:36] Speaker 3: time there's a transition in friendship, every time that they're
[8:40] Speaker 3: not there for you, every time they don't text you back,
[8:42] Speaker 3: every time you see we was having a conversation with
[8:44] Speaker 3: my friends this morning. Some of y'all y'all may not
[8:46] Speaker 3: know this for the old Saints, but on Instagram it's
[8:48] Speaker 3: something called close friends, and that's.
[8:50] Speaker 2: Really where you test who's really in or not.
[8:53] Speaker 3: So you got your Instagram story and then if there's
[8:55] Speaker 3: a little green circle, that mean that person trusts you.
[8:58] Speaker 3: They're showing there their close friends. I was talking to
[9:00] Speaker 3: some of my friends. They had eighty people on the
[9:02] Speaker 3: close friends. I said, that's not close friends, that's just
[9:04] Speaker 3: a free fraud.
[9:06] Speaker 2: My close friends. You know what I'm saying.
[9:07] Speaker 3: I'll be going that joint every month, just checking in.
[9:09] Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying, like, Hey, you ain't responding,
[9:12] Speaker 3: You're gonna.
[9:12] Speaker 2: Get kicked out if you don't.
[9:15] Speaker 3: I gotta come people out there, and they'd be like, man,
[9:17] Speaker 3: you don't post on close friends no more.
[9:18] Speaker 2: Hey I do, but you just don't be seeing it. Man,
[9:23] Speaker 2: you ain't been on this scrim in a while.
[9:25] Speaker 3: I'm like, oh no, that's crazy. But how do you
[9:32] Speaker 3: deal with the proximity of the friends?
[9:33] Speaker 2: Who do you let in?
[9:35] Speaker 3: How quickly do you let those people in? All of
[9:37] Speaker 3: these things you don't realize are shaping your life. The
[9:41] Speaker 3: title of my book is God Chose Me, but it
[9:43] Speaker 3: really could have been called God Chose Us because the
[9:47] Speaker 3: anchor of the Christian faith, the methodology of the Christian faith.
[9:51] Speaker 3: We see it in the Lord's prayer in the first word,
[9:53] Speaker 3: our father, not my father, our fuck because there's that
[9:59] Speaker 3: commute nature to following Jesus, because Jesus better when one
[10:04] Speaker 3: and two are together, for they can cover each other.
[10:07] Speaker 3: All these things that we see throughout scripture. God send
[10:09] Speaker 3: the disciples out in to the first not good in
[10:12] Speaker 3: the Bible is it is not good for man to
[10:15] Speaker 3: be alone. Yet your whole life is raising you to
[10:20] Speaker 3: be independent. And now to some nature that is good,
[10:23] Speaker 3: because some of y'all live with your mama and you
[10:24] Speaker 3: need to get out of you too grown for that.
[10:26] Speaker 3: But in the context of friendship, God created this. He
[10:33] Speaker 3: set this up where get this. He created something in
[10:35] Speaker 3: you that other people need and something in them that
[10:38] Speaker 3: you need.
[10:40] Speaker 2: It's a beautiful exchange. It, my friend Brie would say,
[10:43] Speaker 2: is God with skin on.
[10:44] Speaker 3: When you have your community, it's one of the most
[10:46] Speaker 3: beautiful things you will ever experience. But if you put
[10:49] Speaker 3: way too much pressure on it, it'll disappoint you. And
[10:53] Speaker 3: if you don't value it enough, it'll rob from you.
[10:55] Speaker 3: You will miss so much in your life if you
[10:58] Speaker 3: don't understand the balance that God wants.
[11:00] Speaker 2: To give you. In your friendships. We glorify it.
[11:04] Speaker 3: We expect so much from our friends, and then the
[11:06] Speaker 3: other group people we vilify people, Well, they ain't in
[11:09] Speaker 3: my life, no.
[11:10] Speaker 2: Go, and they just abandon me. You moved. That's all
[11:12] Speaker 2: that happened. Hitn't abandon you. They didn't stab you in.
[11:17] Speaker 3: The back unless you physically got stabbed in the back.
[11:20] Speaker 2: With some of y'all might have been through that's crazy,
[11:21] Speaker 2: but it wasn't that. And I think I want to help.
[11:26] Speaker 3: Relieve some of that pressure because here's the truth. The
[11:29] Speaker 3: series is really about you walking and your confidence and
[11:31] Speaker 3: your calling and your purpose. And you will never do
[11:34] Speaker 3: that change to people who are not thinking about you anymore.
[11:38] Speaker 3: There are some people that your whole purpose is to
[11:40] Speaker 3: prove somebody wrong, and you will do what you are
[11:43] Speaker 3: made to do, get to the moment and be disappointed
[11:45] Speaker 3: because you realize the motivation.
[11:47] Speaker 2: Was wrong the whole time.
[11:49] Speaker 3: If you do not let them go, if you do
[11:51] Speaker 3: not connect to that person, you will miss so much
[11:55] Speaker 3: of the joy and the freedom that God has for
[11:57] Speaker 3: you because you're spending.
[11:59] Speaker 2: It in a wrong worlay relationship. With friendships, we feel
[12:03] Speaker 2: it's so much.
[12:04] Speaker 3: Easier sometimes to do that when you miscommunicate, or you
[12:07] Speaker 3: don't have a friend, it's easier to make it like
[12:10] Speaker 3: a personal thing, or they just hated me and they
[12:12] Speaker 3: was talking behind my back and they didn't blah, blah,
[12:14] Speaker 3: they don't even they didn't even call for.
[12:16] Speaker 2: My kids' birthday? Did you call for their kids' birthday?
[12:20] Speaker 3: Because we'd be easy to flip on people if they
[12:22] Speaker 3: ain't in my life, nor you ain't in their life
[12:24] Speaker 3: no more? And what if it wasn't the devil and
[12:27] Speaker 3: they don't hate you? What if it was just life?
[12:31] Speaker 3: What if it was just a part of life. I
[12:35] Speaker 3: want to give you my opening thought for this whole
[12:38] Speaker 3: sermon today. Write this down because I know God chose me.
[12:43] Speaker 3: I'm grateful for every friend that kept me, every friend
[12:47] Speaker 3: that left me, because.
[12:48] Speaker 2: They all made me. If you do not understand how.
[12:54] Speaker 3: To relate to this, because I know God chose me
[12:57] Speaker 3: because I am secure, because I'm not looking for them
[12:59] Speaker 3: to give me something that they cannot, because I'm not
[13:02] Speaker 3: trying to get a sense of purpose and identity from
[13:04] Speaker 3: this friendship. I'm grateful for every friend that kept me,
[13:08] Speaker 3: every person that was there for me, every person that
[13:10] Speaker 3: was there in my lowestpon. I'm grateful for the ones
[13:13] Speaker 3: who kept me. And also I'm grateful for everybody who
[13:17] Speaker 3: left me, because they all made me. If you don't
[13:23] Speaker 3: see that, you will rob yourself of what could be
[13:26] Speaker 3: the gift.
[13:26] Speaker 2: It was a gift.
[13:27] Speaker 3: They are not in your life anymore. You would never
[13:30] Speaker 3: have become who you are today. You would have never
[13:33] Speaker 3: stepped away from the comfort and the safety of your friends.
[13:36] Speaker 3: If that one friend had not left you said something
[13:39] Speaker 3: about you you accidentally heard it. You would have never
[13:41] Speaker 3: had to figure out who you actually were. You would
[13:45] Speaker 3: have only thought you were valuable being connected to certain
[13:47] Speaker 3: people if they hadn't left you. So God, in his
[13:50] Speaker 3: divine grace, had them leave you. See, this is where
[13:54] Speaker 3: you gotta be careful with your theology, because some of
[13:56] Speaker 3: y'all think everything negative that happens is.
[13:58] Speaker 2: The devil the truth not biblical at all.
[14:01] Speaker 3: I'm gonna jump to the end of my sermon and
[14:03] Speaker 3: just ruined the whole thing.
[14:04] Speaker 2: Watch this Genesis. This is what we're about to do.
[14:08] Speaker 3: We'll see what happens once I give y'all end, because
[14:10] Speaker 3: then we're gonna.
[14:10] Speaker 2: Have to, you know, make a big sense.
[14:12] Speaker 3: But Genesis fifty, verse number twenty, I'm gonna give you
[14:17] Speaker 3: a little contexts the book of Genesis. Obviously I just
[14:19] Speaker 3: said that that was crazy. But the story of Joseph.
[14:23] Speaker 3: You don't know Joseph. He has twelve brothers. He comes
[14:25] Speaker 3: out bragging. He's like, yo, I had this dream you
[14:28] Speaker 3: were worshiping me.
[14:29] Speaker 2: It was incredible. They're like, dang, that's sick.
[14:30] Speaker 3: We're about to throw you in this hole and sell
[14:32] Speaker 3: you into slavery.
[14:35] Speaker 2: That's really that little brother big brother dynamic.
[14:39] Speaker 3: So the whole story happens, and he pretty much meets
[14:41] Speaker 3: his brother years later, and they're thinking like, oh, dang,
[14:46] Speaker 3: he's a big dog. Now he's probably gonna kill us
[14:48] Speaker 3: for what we did to him.
[14:50] Speaker 2: Look what the Bible says.
[14:52] Speaker 3: As for you, you meant evil against me, but God, Now,
[15:01] Speaker 3: Paul's real quick it don't say he turned it. I'm
[15:05] Speaker 3: gonna mess with some of your favorite worship songs. It's
[15:07] Speaker 3: a great worship song. It's not based off description. Always
[15:12] Speaker 3: getting quet up here because I'm quoting the Bible.
[15:13] Speaker 2: That's weird.
[15:15] Speaker 5: As for you, you meant it evil against me, but
[15:20] Speaker 5: God meant it for good in order to bring about
[15:25] Speaker 5: this present outcome, that many people would be kept alive
[15:30] Speaker 5: as they are this day.
[15:35] Speaker 3: How good God is is? I know you feel like
[15:38] Speaker 3: for some reason, God is only strong enough to work
[15:41] Speaker 3: with the scraps of the devil. I don't know how
[15:43] Speaker 3: that makes sense. I don't know how we get to that.
[15:45] Speaker 3: That God somehow has to make do with what the
[15:47] Speaker 3: devil did in your life, and he has to somehow
[15:49] Speaker 3: make it work together, and he's got to turn it
[15:51] Speaker 3: around because he didn't know this was gonna happen to you.
[15:54] Speaker 3: Oh wait, he knew exactly what you were going through.
[15:56] Speaker 3: He knew exactly, and he planned it from the very
[15:59] Speaker 3: beginning to make you better, to make you stronger.
[16:02] Speaker 2: To make you find out who you really are.
[16:07] Speaker 3: It's why I get frustrated when we start giving the
[16:09] Speaker 3: devil so much credit.
[16:10] Speaker 2: Oh he's trying to do this.
[16:11] Speaker 3: What if God is using that dummy to make you stronger?
[16:16] Speaker 2: What if?
[16:18] Speaker 3: I know it's a cop out and it feels easier
[16:20] Speaker 3: to play the victim to say he's attacking you and
[16:22] Speaker 3: you have no responsibility in it. But there's something powerful
[16:25] Speaker 3: that happens that says I didn't plan this. I don't
[16:27] Speaker 3: know why this is happening. But what I know about
[16:29] Speaker 3: my God is he is planning on this making me
[16:32] Speaker 3: more of who I was always supposed to be. He's
[16:35] Speaker 3: planning on this making me stronger, more confident, more content.
[16:39] Speaker 3: I don't see it, but I know that's what he does.
[16:45] Speaker 3: We can go all the way down to the original language.
[16:48] Speaker 3: It's the exact same words said in both of those sentences.
[16:51] Speaker 2: There was an.
[16:52] Speaker 3: Intention that you had, but there was a greater intention
[16:55] Speaker 3: that God had.
[16:57] Speaker 2: And God and his divine.
[16:59] Speaker 3: Nature knew that there were some things in my life.
[17:02] Speaker 3: Get this Joseph's life. There is somebody I would have
[17:05] Speaker 3: never become had I stayed around you. I would have
[17:09] Speaker 3: never become the leader God made me to be. I
[17:11] Speaker 3: would have never stepped up and spoke up had I
[17:13] Speaker 3: stayed around y'all. So God had to figure out a
[17:16] Speaker 3: way to get me out of that hometown, to give
[17:19] Speaker 3: me away from the people I love, to get me
[17:21] Speaker 3: out of my parents' cycles, to give me out of
[17:24] Speaker 3: what everybody.
[17:25] Speaker 2: Has always done. Because He knew who I was.
[17:27] Speaker 3: Supposed to be, and he knew I never would have
[17:31] Speaker 3: become and had I stayed around you, So he ordained
[17:33] Speaker 3: this season.
[17:34] Speaker 2: He worked this.
[17:35] Speaker 3: Season out because God loves you that much. One of
[17:41] Speaker 3: the most loving things God has ever done for some
[17:43] Speaker 3: of us in our life is take us out of
[17:45] Speaker 3: certain friendships. I know you feel heartbroken right now, but
[17:48] Speaker 3: that might have been the greatest gift God ever gave
[17:51] Speaker 3: you is for you to figure out right before y'all
[17:53] Speaker 3: was about to get married that he was not who
[17:55] Speaker 3: you thought he was, because he saved you thirty years
[17:59] Speaker 3: of your life. I know you're disappointed. I know you're
[18:02] Speaker 3: frustrated because the business partner said they had the money
[18:05] Speaker 3: and they don't have it.
[18:06] Speaker 2: Thank god you found out right now.
[18:09] Speaker 3: Maybe God is protecting you, maybe he's keeping you, maybe
[18:15] Speaker 3: he's trying to make you something. But if you don't
[18:17] Speaker 3: let yourself see it for what it is, see it that.
[18:21] Speaker 3: I'm grateful for the ones who kept me, and I'm
[18:24] Speaker 3: also grateful for everybody who left, because there's parts of
[18:29] Speaker 3: yourself that you never discover around certain people.
[18:33] Speaker 2: You know this to be true.
[18:34] Speaker 3: There's certain friendship dynamics in every friendship you have where
[18:38] Speaker 3: everybody kind of plays your thing.
[18:39] Speaker 2: And this is why some of us we be switching.
[18:41] Speaker 3: Up in different friend groups, and some of y'alls friend
[18:43] Speaker 3: groups you quiet don't nobody know another friend.
[18:45] Speaker 2: I work you the leader of everybody, Like, come on,
[18:47] Speaker 2: y'all were about to rebel against the boss.
[18:49] Speaker 3: It's like, what are you starting rebellions at Progressive Insurance?
[18:53] Speaker 2: That's crazy?
[18:57] Speaker 3: Because there's certain and this is where we can go
[19:00] Speaker 3: super deep into it.
[19:01] Speaker 2: There's certain codependencies we have.
[19:05] Speaker 3: That around certain people you feel confident enough to speak up.
[19:08] Speaker 3: But around certain people, for some reason, them being them.
[19:11] Speaker 2: Make you feel a way about you being you, so you.
[19:14] Speaker 3: Decide not to be you because you don't want them
[19:16] Speaker 3: to feel bad about them being them. I was a
[19:21] Speaker 3: bar man, I really be doing this out here. Come
[19:22] Speaker 3: on now, I almost lost the halfway through. I can't
[19:25] Speaker 3: even lie to you. I was like, and then they
[19:27] Speaker 3: gonna be who you are when you get there. The
[19:30] Speaker 3: great thing about our church is y'all have been like, yeah.
[19:34] Speaker 2: Not knowing what I said.
[19:38] Speaker 3: Everybody who learned to preach at TC is a great
[19:40] Speaker 3: place to learn to preach.
[19:41] Speaker 2: Then you go somewhere else and you'll be like yeah,
[19:43] Speaker 2: and people.
[19:43] Speaker 3: Just look at you and you're like, oh, I guess
[19:46] Speaker 3: what I've been saying for the last ten years ain't
[19:48] Speaker 3: made sense.
[19:51] Speaker 2: I love that it's true, man, but it's true. You
[19:57] Speaker 2: gotta be honest about your friends.
[20:00] Speaker 3: I want to take a moment and look at the
[20:01] Speaker 3: life of Paul. There's Paul's writing that we read in Philippians,
[20:05] Speaker 3: and he says this beautiful sentence he says, I thank
[20:07] Speaker 3: God every time I remember you. And I think sometimes
[20:11] Speaker 3: it's easy to read words like that, and we only
[20:14] Speaker 3: feel that about the great friendships we have, about the friendship,
[20:19] Speaker 3: and that's a beautiful thing. There's actually a chapter of
[20:22] Speaker 3: my book called My Friend Saved My Life, and in
[20:24] Speaker 3: there I go through and list tons of different friends
[20:27] Speaker 3: I've had.
[20:28] Speaker 2: As a matter of fact, yesterday one of them text
[20:30] Speaker 2: me my friend.
[20:32] Speaker 3: He said, I'm listening to an audiobook and there's a
[20:34] Speaker 3: time where you mention a friend Jeremy, and he says,
[20:37] Speaker 3: I'm assuming it's me.
[20:38] Speaker 2: If it's not me, don't tell me. Let me have
[20:40] Speaker 2: this moment. I'm like, no, it is you, it is you.
[20:44] Speaker 3: And I said that text to eight other Jeremies. No
[20:45] Speaker 3: I'm Joko, it's just him.
[20:49] Speaker 2: But in that moment in the book.
[20:50] Speaker 3: It was funny because I knew I wanted to talk
[20:52] Speaker 3: about the importance of friendship, and I just started thinking
[20:55] Speaker 3: about all the different friends I've had and growing up
[20:58] Speaker 3: and I'm a part of my story is my mom
[21:01] Speaker 3: and dad got married really young, and my dad was
[21:04] Speaker 3: just a business g like he at twenty years old,
[21:07] Speaker 3: he started selling cars and he was slinging cars.
[21:10] Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. He was like the saved
[21:12] Speaker 2: wolf of Wall Street. You know what I'm saying. He
[21:14] Speaker 2: was out here just in the nineties.
[21:15] Speaker 3: Ma. Then he became He worked his way all the
[21:17] Speaker 3: way up through the car business in like six months,
[21:19] Speaker 3: started running car dealerships, and he got promoted to where
[21:21] Speaker 3: he would go to car dealerships that were falling apart
[21:24] Speaker 3: to spin them around get their sales up. And so
[21:26] Speaker 3: from that, me and my family we moved around a
[21:28] Speaker 3: lot growing up. Dad was bawling out and we was
[21:30] Speaker 3: living places like boom bam, y'all good.
[21:32] Speaker 2: Y'all good.
[21:33] Speaker 3: And part of that it kind of changed how I
[21:36] Speaker 3: related to different friendships. So there were some seasons where
[21:39] Speaker 3: I would be somewhere for a long time. There on
[21:40] Speaker 3: some seasons we'd be there six months and be gone.
[21:42] Speaker 3: And so what it did to me is it did
[21:44] Speaker 3: two things. One, it made me able to talk to anybody.
[21:48] Speaker 3: I could become friends with anybody. Part of the reason
[21:51] Speaker 3: I'm funny is because I had to figure out a
[21:53] Speaker 3: way to get people to honestly like me.
[21:55] Speaker 2: So I just became.
[21:56] Speaker 3: Funny, and it was like, Hey, this is amazing, don't
[21:58] Speaker 3: you love hanging out with.
[21:58] Speaker 2: Me even though I'm a new kid. Don't make fun
[22:00] Speaker 2: of me. I'm small, I can't fight. That's what was
[22:04] Speaker 2: going on in my head, but it made me.
[22:08] Speaker 3: The other part of it is that also I realized
[22:10] Speaker 3: I didn't realize that, but I built up a wall
[22:12] Speaker 3: of actually how much.
[22:13] Speaker 2: Friends we would be. So if we were friends in
[22:16] Speaker 2: sixth grade, you would.
[22:17] Speaker 3: Think we really close, and that meant I had your
[22:20] Speaker 3: right where I wanted you because.
[22:22] Speaker 2: You think we close.
[22:22] Speaker 3: But the truth is you don't really know nothing about me,
[22:24] Speaker 3: because if you get too close, you might be able
[22:26] Speaker 3: to hurt me.
[22:27] Speaker 2: It might be sad when I find out I'm moving,
[22:29] Speaker 2: So I'm gonna keep you right here. The truth is,
[22:33] Speaker 2: many of us, the cycles we develop as children is
[22:36] Speaker 2: the same way you do relationships now.
[22:39] Speaker 3: Some of y'all would be so bold to say it's
[22:41] Speaker 3: the same way with your spouse. Right now, there's certain
[22:44] Speaker 3: parts of you that you're wondering if I let them
[22:46] Speaker 3: too close, if they find out this about me, if
[22:49] Speaker 3: this thing goes on, and it's easy to think about
[22:52] Speaker 3: the friends that you love, it's easy to think about
[22:54] Speaker 3: the friends and your first favorite memories. I remember a
[22:57] Speaker 3: friend I had in sixth grade as name was All.
[23:00] Speaker 3: I think I've told this story before. Aubrey was the
[23:02] Speaker 3: only other black kid on the football team, and I
[23:04] Speaker 3: was barely making.
[23:05] Speaker 2: A halfway, if you know what I'm saying. So it
[23:07] Speaker 2: was all and Aubrey was my home.
[23:10] Speaker 3: We got in trouble together, we played football together, all.
[23:12] Speaker 2: This different stuff.
[23:13] Speaker 3: And then Aubrey moved away and I never saw Aubrey again.
[23:16] Speaker 3: But every time I think of playing football with Aubrey,
[23:17] Speaker 3: I get excited.
[23:19] Speaker 2: Every time I think of that moment.
[23:20] Speaker 3: Every time I had this friend named Samir. Samir was
[23:23] Speaker 3: Indian and he had all the nice shoes. His family
[23:25] Speaker 3: was definitely rich. I didn't realize. You know, you go
[23:28] Speaker 3: to school and start realizing where you fall in the
[23:30] Speaker 3: brackets and stuff. I went to a Christian school, so
[23:33] Speaker 3: they make you wear uniforms, So really, how you tell
[23:35] Speaker 3: who got money is shoes?
[23:37] Speaker 2: Come on, schools. Think they trickering like we want everybody
[23:39] Speaker 2: to feel equal.
[23:40] Speaker 3: Nah, we ain't feeling equal, man, because I got kids
[23:42] Speaker 3: on and he.
[23:45] Speaker 2: And he does not.
[23:49] Speaker 3: I remember my mom and dad, they got me this
[23:51] Speaker 3: super dope pair of T Max. Some of y'all don't
[23:53] Speaker 3: known about T Max. I had the all white T
[23:55] Speaker 3: Max with the patent leather across the.
[23:57] Speaker 2: Front of the joint. Well, Samir had another pair of shoes.
[24:00] Speaker 2: I really like.
[24:00] Speaker 3: We switched shoes from the for the day, and then
[24:02] Speaker 3: Samir was a super dope artist. Well Samir, he was like, Yo,
[24:05] Speaker 3: we should draw all over each other's shoes.
[24:07] Speaker 2: And I was like, let's do it.
[24:08] Speaker 3: So I drew all his shoes, he drew all over mine,
[24:10] Speaker 3: and then we switched back. And I remember getting walking
[24:13] Speaker 3: to the car and thinking.
[24:15] Speaker 2: Oh, my dad's about to kill me. I sat down
[24:18] Speaker 2: in that car and he's like, what happened? And I
[24:20] Speaker 2: was like, I don't know what happened.
[24:22] Speaker 3: Man.
[24:24] Speaker 6: Our class is crazy, but it's funny.
[24:29] Speaker 2: I literally when God chose Me came out.
[24:32] Speaker 3: I started drawing over hoodies and my phone and I
[24:35] Speaker 3: drew on a pair of shoes and I thought of Samir.
[24:37] Speaker 3: And there's so many different moments in your life where
[24:41] Speaker 3: you have to think about who are the people that
[24:43] Speaker 3: have kept me?
[24:45] Speaker 2: Because you get to a point.
[24:47] Speaker 3: In your life and you say things like I'm a
[24:48] Speaker 3: self made man. I got here by myself. Didn't nobody
[24:51] Speaker 3: help me, And that's not true. Somebody saw you, somebody
[24:55] Speaker 3: helped you, somebody kept you. If anybody had an excuse
[24:59] Speaker 3: to have this of vibrado, it would have been Paul.
[25:01] Speaker 2: Paul was killing Christians.
[25:04] Speaker 3: He flips, and now he's selling this gospel writes two
[25:07] Speaker 3: thirds of the New Testament. But don't get it twisted.
[25:10] Speaker 3: Paul did not get there by himself. As a matter
[25:13] Speaker 3: of fact, the first interaction we see is a man
[25:15] Speaker 3: named Anonius. You gotta be grateful for the people in
[25:19] Speaker 3: your life who kept you when you was nobody, who
[25:21] Speaker 3: saw you when you were still trying to figure out
[25:24] Speaker 3: who you were, who did something for you you couldn't
[25:26] Speaker 3: do for yourself.
[25:28] Speaker 2: Acts chapter nine, Paul, he is Saul. He's killing Christians.
[25:31] Speaker 3: And then God comes to Antonius in the second place
[25:33] Speaker 3: and he's like, hey, I've chosen Saul to be my
[25:36] Speaker 3: anointed instrument.
[25:38] Speaker 2: And anna's night. I mean you mean that, brother, they're
[25:40] Speaker 2: killing people. I'm not choking. Look at what it said.
[25:43] Speaker 3: Do y'all have to put chapter nine, verse chin up
[25:46] Speaker 3: on the screen for me. I'mna read real quick. So
[25:47] Speaker 3: the saints, No, I ain't line about this. Look what
[25:49] Speaker 3: it says in the Bible. Now, there was a believer
[25:51] Speaker 3: in Damascus named Antonius.
[25:52] Speaker 2: The Lord spoke to him in a vision.
[25:53] Speaker 3: Anonius, Yes, Lord, he replied. The Lord said, go overs.
[25:59] Speaker 2: To Straight Street. Okay, Okay, I thought that was a joe.
[26:02] Speaker 3: Okay, go over to Straight Street, you know, over there
[26:04] Speaker 3: on sixty fourth and the House of Judas. When you
[26:07] Speaker 3: get there, asked for a man of Tarsus named Saul.
[26:10] Speaker 2: He is praying to me right now.
[26:13] Speaker 3: I have shown him a vision of a man and
[26:15] Speaker 3: an ice coming to lay his hands on him.
[26:17] Speaker 2: So he can see again.
[26:19] Speaker 3: Goes on to say in the Bible, But Lord, I've
[26:21] Speaker 3: heard many people talk about the terrible things this man
[26:25] Speaker 3: has done to the believers in Jerusalem, and he is
[26:29] Speaker 3: authorized by leading priests to arrest anyone who calls upon
[26:33] Speaker 3: your name. But the Lord said, go for Saul is
[26:38] Speaker 3: my chosen instrument to take my message to the gentiles
[26:42] Speaker 3: and to kings, as well as.
[26:43] Speaker 2: The people of Israel.
[26:47] Speaker 3: You need to be grateful for the people in your
[26:49] Speaker 3: life who.
[26:51] Speaker 2: Saw you when you were not you.
[26:53] Speaker 3: Yet, there are some people in your life that saw
[26:58] Speaker 3: what God put on the inside of you before you
[27:01] Speaker 3: saw what was on the inside of you.
[27:03] Speaker 2: And I know you've come a long way now, and.
[27:05] Speaker 3: You feel confident now, and you got your little business
[27:07] Speaker 3: off the ground and you're doing your thing.
[27:09] Speaker 2: But it would serve you well to take a moment and.
[27:12] Speaker 3: Think, who are the people that God was speaking to
[27:15] Speaker 3: about me when I was still becoming me. This scripture
[27:19] Speaker 3: tells us Saul is somewhere praying right now in the Bible.
[27:22] Speaker 3: He has scales on his eyes. He actually cannot see,
[27:25] Speaker 3: just like some of us couldn't see who we really were,
[27:27] Speaker 3: just like some of us didn't know that God called us,
[27:30] Speaker 3: just like someoneus thought we would always be where we
[27:32] Speaker 3: always have been. And God was speaking to somebody and
[27:35] Speaker 3: he said, hey, I need you.
[27:37] Speaker 2: To go to them. I know they look rough. I
[27:39] Speaker 2: know they're beat up.
[27:40] Speaker 3: I know they still talking crazy, I know they smell
[27:42] Speaker 3: like weed.
[27:43] Speaker 2: I know they've been through a line. It don't matter.
[27:45] Speaker 2: I have a plan for them. And you need to
[27:49] Speaker 2: pause in your life.
[27:51] Speaker 3: And here's the point I would say, you got to
[27:53] Speaker 3: be grateful for the people in your life who championed you,
[27:56] Speaker 3: the people in your life who called greatness out, who
[27:59] Speaker 3: didn't let you stay where you had always been, the
[28:01] Speaker 3: people who.
[28:02] Speaker 2: Saw something in you. There's another person in the Scripture,
[28:06] Speaker 2: chapter nine. Paul goes on too.
[28:07] Speaker 3: There's a guy named Barnabas, and here's the thing Saul's
[28:10] Speaker 3: trying to get or Paul's trying to get his.
[28:12] Speaker 2: Ministry off the ground, and and I asked them pray
[28:14] Speaker 2: for him.
[28:14] Speaker 3: The scales come off with his eyes and he's like,
[28:16] Speaker 3: all right, I'm ready to go. The only problem is
[28:18] Speaker 3: he's not accepted in certain rooms because people are still
[28:22] Speaker 3: a little questioning about his lifestyle and if he's really
[28:25] Speaker 3: switched up. They thought it was like a big scheme.
[28:27] Speaker 3: They thought he'd be like, yeah, man, I love God.
[28:29] Speaker 2: Now I got it. So they were they were.
[28:32] Speaker 3: Like, hey, man, check his pockets before we walk in here.
[28:36] Speaker 3: But you gotta be grateful for friends like Barnabas. Barnabas
[28:39] Speaker 3: comes on Paul's behalf and.
[28:40] Speaker 2: Say, hey, I know y'all don't know him, but.
[28:44] Speaker 3: I've seen how God has used him. I've seen that
[28:48] Speaker 3: this thing is real. I've seen that it's genuine. I've
[28:51] Speaker 3: seen that the hand of God is.
[28:53] Speaker 2: On his life. You would be so grateful to look
[28:57] Speaker 2: back over your.
[28:57] Speaker 3: Life and think of the people who in your life
[29:02] Speaker 3: spoke up for you and vouched for you when you couldn't.
[29:05] Speaker 2: Do it for yourself.
[29:07] Speaker 3: Some of y'all got jobs because someone spoke up and
[29:10] Speaker 3: vouched for you. Some of you got in relationship with
[29:12] Speaker 3: that person because they thought you were a scrub and
[29:15] Speaker 3: your friend came alongside.
[29:16] Speaker 2: Like I know, they look like a scrub and they
[29:17] Speaker 2: need to take a bath, but just give them a chance.
[29:20] Speaker 2: They got a great.
[29:20] Speaker 3: Personality and God's were Some of y'all need to be
[29:24] Speaker 3: grateful for the people in your life that championed you,
[29:28] Speaker 3: that saw you, that vouched for you, because if you
[29:32] Speaker 3: don't take that moment, here's what I'm here's why it's
[29:34] Speaker 3: so important that you're grateful for that one. It gives
[29:36] Speaker 3: you a gratitude of how God is working all things together.
[29:38] Speaker 2: In your life.
[29:39] Speaker 3: It also helps you realize that you are also that
[29:42] Speaker 3: for somebody else. When you start to think about how
[29:45] Speaker 3: much that meant to you, that they encouraged you, you
[29:49] Speaker 3: find yourself wanting to be.
[29:50] Speaker 2: That for other people. One of the biggest things that
[29:53] Speaker 2: happened to you.
[29:53] Speaker 3: I remember growing up playing basketball and it was always
[29:55] Speaker 3: so so tiny, so so small, and I was just begging.
[29:58] Speaker 3: You know, when you're looking you want to play with
[30:00] Speaker 3: the big dudes. You're like, come on, let me get in.
[30:02] Speaker 3: So I remember anytime I would go.
[30:04] Speaker 2: To a court. There were two courts in Kentucky play out.
[30:06] Speaker 3: It was Karaakis Park and Covington Park. Karaakis Park, being
[30:11] Speaker 3: honest with you, was where all the white people with
[30:13] Speaker 3: bounced past us played and Covington Park was where you
[30:16] Speaker 3: could get shot and get dunked on. So it was
[30:18] Speaker 3: just two different types of basketball.
[30:21] Speaker 2: And so you know me, I go to both because
[30:22] Speaker 2: that's how I get down.
[30:25] Speaker 3: But anytime I will go, I'll never forget the feeling
[30:28] Speaker 3: being thirteen years old, staying on the sideline hoping to
[30:31] Speaker 3: get picked, and some random dude we'll be like, I
[30:35] Speaker 3: want a little man on my team. It's like, ohhoo,
[30:39] Speaker 3: about to go crazy on this. I would literally did
[30:43] Speaker 3: I do this to this day? Ask Makaya anytime.
[30:46] Speaker 2: I play basketball.
[30:47] Speaker 3: First time I get the ball, I'm pulling up thirty
[30:49] Speaker 3: feet out just to show you what's up. If I
[30:51] Speaker 3: miss it, don't matter you let you know that's how
[30:53] Speaker 3: I think I play. If I make it, you're like, God, Dawn,
[30:56] Speaker 3: this brother's cold. If I miss it, you're like, what
[30:59] Speaker 3: is he on? But either way, you gotta respect it.
[31:02] Speaker 3: I've been doing that since I was thirteen. I get
[31:04] Speaker 3: out there in that ghetto coord it to be like, hey, bro, hey,
[31:06] Speaker 3: I'm saying yeah, and just let it fly.
[31:10] Speaker 2: Now.
[31:11] Speaker 3: If I don't play basketball and there is some scrwny
[31:15] Speaker 3: little kid on the side, I always pick him first
[31:19] Speaker 3: because I know that feeling of being seen when nobody
[31:22] Speaker 3: else sees you. Some of you you own a business
[31:25] Speaker 3: right now, and you forgot what it was to send
[31:27] Speaker 3: in an application and pray for twenty four hours that
[31:30] Speaker 3: they would happen to see it. And when you start
[31:33] Speaker 3: to look back over your life, you'll remember what it
[31:35] Speaker 3: is for someone to give you a.
[31:36] Speaker 2: Chance, for someone to give you an.
[31:39] Speaker 3: Opportunity, for someone to take a bet on something that
[31:41] Speaker 3: Kate really said. Some of y'all be looking for people
[31:44] Speaker 3: that they gotta be quantity. They have eighty years of experience.
[31:46] Speaker 3: You didn't have no years of experience. You didn't have nothing,
[31:51] Speaker 3: and somebody gave.
[31:52] Speaker 2: You a chance.
[31:54] Speaker 3: You're grateful for the people who championed you. It does
[31:58] Speaker 3: something in your life and the next group of people.
[31:59] Speaker 3: You gotta be great for people who challenged you. And
[32:03] Speaker 3: this is all different types of challenge. The real big
[32:05] Speaker 3: challenge is the people who left you, the people who
[32:07] Speaker 3: hurt you, the people that went through things that you.
[32:09] Speaker 3: You're mad at them, you're frustrated at them.
[32:11] Speaker 2: And what I want to say is Paul went through
[32:12] Speaker 2: the same thing.
[32:13] Speaker 3: There's a story in the Bible where he's about to
[32:15] Speaker 3: go out and do some more missionary work and his
[32:18] Speaker 3: friend Barnabas is like, hey, you know what I'm saying.
[32:19] Speaker 3: We had John Mark on the last one. Let's bring
[32:22] Speaker 3: John Mark with us again.
[32:24] Speaker 2: And Paul says, I ain't bringing John Mark. He is
[32:27] Speaker 2: a scrub. No, lie, him and John Mark are homies.
[32:31] Speaker 3: Then I guess the Bible doesn't tell us, but they
[32:33] Speaker 3: must have got into some beef.
[32:34] Speaker 2: On one of the missionary journeys and they going out again.
[32:37] Speaker 3: He's like, no, you ain't coming, homie, You ain't coming
[32:39] Speaker 3: with me.
[32:40] Speaker 2: You will go somebody. You know, you ain't coming over
[32:42] Speaker 2: here and one of his great friends. They split up.
[32:48] Speaker 3: They changed because he felt frustrated with how he handled
[32:50] Speaker 3: a situation.
[32:52] Speaker 2: But here's the beautiful thing.
[32:54] Speaker 3: Your favorite one of your favorite stories of Paul and Silas.
[32:58] Speaker 3: If John Mark never leaves Silas is who replaced John Mark.
[33:05] Speaker 3: We do not know what and why and how that
[33:08] Speaker 3: felt for the people who challenge you, the people who
[33:11] Speaker 3: leave you, the people who you feel frustrated with. But
[33:13] Speaker 3: the truth is if they never leave, some of the
[33:17] Speaker 3: people you are praying on and never get to show
[33:19] Speaker 3: up in your life. And I know it's frustrating and disappointing,
[33:23] Speaker 3: but God knew the type of friendship that Paul would
[33:26] Speaker 3: need in that jail cell, so he said, hey, you
[33:29] Speaker 3: have John Martin had a great time.
[33:30] Speaker 2: It's been good, but it's time for him to move on.
[33:34] Speaker 2: We gotta be honest. When people move.
[33:35] Speaker 3: On, it's a challenge, it's frustrating, it's hurtful. There are
[33:40] Speaker 3: people who are challenging our life because they leave us.
[33:42] Speaker 3: There's people who are challenging our life just because they
[33:44] Speaker 3: doing the same thing we do in but they do
[33:46] Speaker 3: it different. Come on, we got to talk about this.
[33:49] Speaker 3: They're friends in your life. They your homie for real.
[33:51] Speaker 3: But it's just how different. And it's the saying they
[33:54] Speaker 3: are that y'all be getting at each other.
[33:56] Speaker 2: I'll be honest with you me and pass.
[33:57] Speaker 3: Brie A little bit like this. You already knew it's coming, homie.
[33:59] Speaker 3: We a little bit like this. Mia Pas brees want
[34:01] Speaker 3: my best friends in the world, and we work together
[34:03] Speaker 3: every single day.
[34:03] Speaker 2: In the days I'm like, hey, Sis, this is kind
[34:05] Speaker 2: of crazy. I don't really why. Woah wooh wooh.
[34:07] Speaker 3: Man, come on, but you need people in your life
[34:12] Speaker 3: who are going the same way you are, but they
[34:15] Speaker 3: pull something different out of you. They make you think
[34:19] Speaker 3: again about how they're willing you. Gotta have friends in
[34:21] Speaker 3: your life who are close enough to check you, close
[34:24] Speaker 3: enough to say, hey, that's.
[34:25] Speaker 2: Not how we do stuff. Hey, where are you at?
[34:26] Speaker 2: We need you?
[34:27] Speaker 3: Hey, what's going on? You said you were gonna do this. Hey,
[34:29] Speaker 3: I really need your help.
[34:30] Speaker 2: That is one of the biggest gifts in your life
[34:33] Speaker 2: is to have.
[34:33] Speaker 3: Friends in your life who love you enough to challenge you,
[34:37] Speaker 3: love you enough to say, hey, there's something more on.
[34:39] Speaker 2: The end side of you. Love you enough to speak
[34:42] Speaker 2: up when you're not being who you said you were
[34:43] Speaker 2: gonna be.
[34:45] Speaker 3: This happens in Paul's life. There's a moment where him
[34:47] Speaker 3: and Peter. Peter is called to the Jews, Paul has
[34:50] Speaker 3: called to the Gentiles, and they're going and doing these things,
[34:54] Speaker 3: and there's a moment where Peter pretty much in the time.
[34:57] Speaker 2: There are certain people when they showed.
[34:58] Speaker 3: Up, he was like, you know, gotta follow all the rituals.
[35:01] Speaker 2: We don't eat pork, we don't do that. You know
[35:02] Speaker 2: what I'm saying. But then when they would leave, he'd
[35:04] Speaker 2: be like, heyo, give me some of that baker. And
[35:08] Speaker 2: he was doing this.
[35:08] Speaker 3: He was switching back and forth, and Paul comes up
[35:11] Speaker 3: to him.
[35:12] Speaker 2: In the Book of.
[35:13] Speaker 3: Acts and the Scripture says I confronted him to his face.
[35:18] Speaker 2: What was he saying? Hey, you're not being consistent with
[35:21] Speaker 2: who you said you were gonna be.
[35:24] Speaker 3: And if we gonna be friends enough, if we're gonna
[35:26] Speaker 3: be close enough, I can't let you do that. I
[35:29] Speaker 3: can't let you be different than what you said you
[35:31] Speaker 3: were gonna be. You gotta be grateful for people in
[35:33] Speaker 3: your life. You need to have people in your life
[35:37] Speaker 3: challenge you.
[35:38] Speaker 2: And here's the thing. You can't get mad at him.
[35:40] Speaker 3: Every time they got something to say you don't like,
[35:43] Speaker 3: because here the houses go. You'd be like, man, I
[35:45] Speaker 3: just want some feedback. I just want friends who will
[35:47] Speaker 3: be honest with me. Then we honest with you and
[35:49] Speaker 3: you don't talk to nobody for three months.
[35:51] Speaker 2: So that tells us we can't be honest with you.
[35:54] Speaker 3: Well, ain't nobody talk to me because you get sad
[35:57] Speaker 3: and MOPI for two weeks once we hell you anything.
[36:02] Speaker 2: Hey, you think you want to get some well, I
[36:04] Speaker 2: just feel like you don't care.
[36:06] Speaker 3: No, you can't be talking about I just want people
[36:11] Speaker 3: who are I want so much.
[36:13] Speaker 2: Iron sharpens iron. Do you know what to think about that?
[36:16] Speaker 3: You gotta hit the iron up against each other.
[36:19] Speaker 2: It's not they just standing there looking at each other.
[36:21] Speaker 2: Who we getting sharp? Or I can feel it. No,
[36:23] Speaker 2: there's gotta be friction.
[36:27] Speaker 3: There's gotta be something that's making you better, some of
[36:31] Speaker 3: you in your marriages. I just want somebody that will
[36:33] Speaker 3: just always agree with me. That's gonna be a bad marriage.
[36:37] Speaker 3: You don't want somebody who's always gonna agree with you
[36:40] Speaker 3: because one of the two things, let me tell you
[36:41] Speaker 3: what's really happening.
[36:42] Speaker 2: They not always gonna agree with you.
[36:44] Speaker 3: They gonna resent you because like, yeah, whatever you want
[36:47] Speaker 3: to do, whatever you wanna say, they don't feel that way.
[36:49] Speaker 3: You want somebody who'll be like, no, that's dumb. I
[36:51] Speaker 3: don't agree. I think that was the wrong decision. That's
[36:56] Speaker 3: good for you, but you gotta be willing to embrace that.
[37:00] Speaker 3: You gotta be willing not to just embrace it, but
[37:02] Speaker 3: be grateful for it. Look for people in your life
[37:06] Speaker 3: who make you better. Look for people who don't think
[37:08] Speaker 3: like you. This is one of the most dangerous things
[37:10] Speaker 3: that can happen in our world today. Is your algorithm
[37:13] Speaker 3: make you think. How you think is how the world thinks.
[37:17] Speaker 3: This is why it's good for you to get outside
[37:19] Speaker 3: of your neighborhood, get outside of your say, if you
[37:22] Speaker 3: ever can travel just to go see something. I remember
[37:24] Speaker 3: me and Abby. So me and Abby first got together.
[37:27] Speaker 3: We were starting a church and I was broke, didn't
[37:30] Speaker 3: have no money, and Abby was a wedding photographer. She
[37:32] Speaker 3: would never tell you this, but we traveled the world.
[37:34] Speaker 3: Abby was making bank being a wedding photographer. She did
[37:37] Speaker 3: a wedding photography workshop. It got named number one in
[37:40] Speaker 3: the nation.
[37:41] Speaker 2: She was a dog. I married a she.
[37:47] Speaker 3: Why never forget literally we going. I'm just out. I'm
[37:49] Speaker 3: a little pastor. I ain't got no money trying to
[37:51] Speaker 3: start this church. Abby's helped me, but I'm also her
[37:53] Speaker 3: second shooter because I you know what I'm saying, I worked.
[37:55] Speaker 2: For her when we go out of the country.
[37:56] Speaker 3: So I'll never forget we were out of the country,
[37:59] Speaker 3: and it was just we were just seeing all this
[38:01] Speaker 3: two stuff and I forget. We were in pairs and
[38:03] Speaker 3: there's this lady. There's four tables and she is speaking
[38:07] Speaker 3: German to this table, French to this table. She turned
[38:11] Speaker 3: around speaking Spanish to this table, and then turn around
[38:13] Speaker 3: speaking English to us and taking all different orders, speaking
[38:17] Speaker 3: all different things. And when you go places out of
[38:19] Speaker 3: the country, they'll.
[38:20] Speaker 2: Ask you like, oh, well, what happens. We would go
[38:22] Speaker 2: and be like, oh, do you speak English? Or do
[38:24] Speaker 2: you speak what language do you speak?
[38:25] Speaker 3: Can you imagine if in America you went to Texas
[38:29] Speaker 3: and be.
[38:29] Speaker 2: Like, do you you speak You speak German when you speak.
[38:32] Speaker 3: Here's what it made me realize. There is so much
[38:34] Speaker 3: more outside of our little world. There are so many
[38:38] Speaker 3: people who are so amazing, and I'm grateful for where
[38:41] Speaker 3: I live, and there's a lot more than just this.
[38:45] Speaker 3: If you don't have friends in your life that are
[38:48] Speaker 3: different than you, you think your world is it Some
[38:52] Speaker 3: of y'all don't know it yet, But you've never had
[38:54] Speaker 3: good food.
[39:00] Speaker 2: You don't know.
[39:02] Speaker 3: I'm not gonna say what ethnicity you are, it's just
[39:05] Speaker 3: you don't know that you've never had seasoned food. Until
[39:13] Speaker 3: you started coming to Transformation Church and you were sitting
[39:17] Speaker 3: next to somebody on your road, you say, what tribe
[39:19] Speaker 3: you in, it's.
[39:27] Speaker 2: Just different seasoning. It's not there's not no seasoning, it's
[39:29] Speaker 2: just salt and pepper. Okay.
[39:33] Speaker 3: You miss out on people who will challenge you, challenge
[39:39] Speaker 3: you to become better, challenge you to become different.
[39:42] Speaker 2: If all your friends.
[39:43] Speaker 3: Always agree, always are like, yeah, you're great, never have
[39:48] Speaker 3: anything to say about who you're dating.
[39:52] Speaker 2: Some of y'all won't dare ask nobody about who you're
[39:54] Speaker 2: dating right now because you know they are a.
[39:58] Speaker 3: Bum and your friends know they are bunk. But this
[40:04] Speaker 3: is why you got to create safe environments where people
[40:06] Speaker 3: can be honest. And how you do that in a
[40:09] Speaker 3: friendship is how you respond when they're honest with you.
[40:13] Speaker 2: If you gasp when they tell you.
[40:15] Speaker 3: Their deepest, darkest secret, that's probably not the best way
[40:19] Speaker 3: to make them feel comfortable.
[40:22] Speaker 2: Give a little viue. We gonna do some tribe coaching.
[40:24] Speaker 2: We got our tribes going.
[40:25] Speaker 3: If you're a tribe leader, if you're in a tribe,
[40:26] Speaker 3: when somebody go.
[40:27] Speaker 2: To say something, you can't go.
[40:33] Speaker 3: We see your face and I'm never coming back to
[40:35] Speaker 3: this group again. Meanwhile, you were sitting over there and
[40:40] Speaker 3: got all types of.
[40:41] Speaker 2: Stuff going on. Won't tell nobody, and they gonna look
[40:43] Speaker 2: around crazy. Oh my god, did you hear them? They
[40:46] Speaker 2: say they great granddaddy smoked cigarettes. Oh my god, they
[40:50] Speaker 2: might have that generational cursor smoking my bar. Marlboroughs, Oh
[40:53] Speaker 2: my god.
[40:56] Speaker 3: You gotta be you gotta be aware, you gotta be Okay,
[41:01] Speaker 3: I'm trying to figure this out with my kids. My
[41:03] Speaker 3: kids are tiny now, but I know Luna gonna walk
[41:05] Speaker 3: in one day and say something crazy. I already know,
[41:09] Speaker 3: and I'm working on my face right now.
[41:12] Speaker 7: So when she's saying, I was like, okay, okay, okay, yeah,
[41:19] Speaker 7: because I want to create a safe place to challenge
[41:25] Speaker 7: some of y'all.
[41:25] Speaker 3: And I'm spending some time on this one because it's
[41:27] Speaker 3: one of the most important ones some of you. There
[41:30] Speaker 3: are people I had a phone call yesterday with a friend.
[41:33] Speaker 3: They were talking about they have friends in their life
[41:35] Speaker 3: who don't believe the same things they do, and they're like, hey,
[41:38] Speaker 3: how do I interact? I don't in a safe place
[41:41] Speaker 3: but still have boundaries. Some of you, that's one of
[41:43] Speaker 3: the most important things you could do is live a
[41:45] Speaker 3: life that is clear enough in standard that people don't
[41:48] Speaker 3: know you don't do certain stuff, but also gracious enough
[41:51] Speaker 3: for them to feel welcome to talk to you. This
[41:54] Speaker 3: is a balance you have to be clear.
[41:56] Speaker 2: You have to because some of y'all are like, yeah,
[41:57] Speaker 2: I'm friends with all types.
[41:58] Speaker 3: Of people we know, and you have drastically changed. It
[42:03] Speaker 3: can't change you, but you have to feel comforted because
[42:06] Speaker 3: this is what Jesus did. Jesus with his biggest critique
[42:09] Speaker 3: was that he.
[42:10] Speaker 2: Ate with sinners, not that he changed his morals and.
[42:13] Speaker 3: He started doing stuff he wasn't supposed to be doing.
[42:15] Speaker 2: No, it was always clear which side of the line
[42:17] Speaker 2: he was on. But he also lived.
[42:20] Speaker 3: In a way that people felt comfortable enough to be
[42:23] Speaker 3: around him. Because here's what some people need. I've seen
[42:25] Speaker 3: it in my own life. People need to feel comfortable
[42:27] Speaker 3: enough to be around you. Then it rubs up against
[42:30] Speaker 3: them and makes them feel uncomfortable that they got to
[42:32] Speaker 3: change some stuff to stay around you. There are certain
[42:36] Speaker 3: friendships I've made in my life that you'll be like,
[42:39] Speaker 3: how do you hang out with them?
[42:39] Speaker 2: Why do you?
[42:40] Speaker 3: Because I'm creating enough comfort where they can come over.
[42:43] Speaker 2: To my house.
[42:44] Speaker 3: Then they walk into my house and.
[42:45] Speaker 2: Be like, ooh lo, okay, hold on, I need that.
[42:47] Speaker 2: I know I can't do this.
[42:48] Speaker 3: If I'm gonna be friends with you, I gotta be
[42:52] Speaker 3: grateful for the friends who championed you, the people, and
[42:56] Speaker 3: you gotta be somebody who does that. The other thing,
[42:58] Speaker 3: you gotta be grateful for friends who challenge you.
[43:00] Speaker 2: And you got to be a friend who challenges people.
[43:03] Speaker 2: Last thing, you got to be grateful for.
[43:04] Speaker 3: Friends that changed you, grateful for friends that changed you.
[43:11] Speaker 3: The truth is, if you'll let all of the friends
[43:16] Speaker 3: of your life has the potential to change you for
[43:18] Speaker 3: the better. I'm not saying what you went through was easy.
[43:22] Speaker 3: I'm not saying what happened was easy. But what I
[43:25] Speaker 3: am saying is there something beautiful. I just heard this
[43:30] Speaker 3: story reading that in Philippians where he said, I thank
[43:33] Speaker 3: God every time I remember you. What would happened in
[43:39] Speaker 3: your life this week if you took time to thank
[43:43] Speaker 3: God for all the different friends you had, all the
[43:46] Speaker 3: different things you went through, all the friends who were
[43:48] Speaker 3: there for you, and all the friends you haven't talked
[43:51] Speaker 3: to in a long time, there's.
[43:53] Speaker 2: A different perspective.
[43:54] Speaker 3: Instead of being frustrated about who's not here. Instead of
[43:57] Speaker 3: being frustrated about what they didn't give you, What would
[44:00] Speaker 3: happen if you lived your.
[44:01] Speaker 2: Life grateful for what they did give you.
[44:04] Speaker 3: What does it serve you to focus on who they
[44:06] Speaker 3: are not and what you don't have anymore?
[44:10] Speaker 2: That would be my only question.
[44:12] Speaker 3: How is the grudge making you better? I know you're
[44:17] Speaker 3: entitled to it. I know you did not deserve for
[44:20] Speaker 3: them to do that to you. All I'm saying is
[44:23] Speaker 3: now they are going, they live somewhere else, and you
[44:27] Speaker 3: wake up and you still follow them on social media
[44:31] Speaker 3: just to get mad so they can steal your day
[44:34] Speaker 3: every single day.
[44:36] Speaker 2: Some of you need to not following people.
[44:38] Speaker 3: It would help you love them more to not see
[44:40] Speaker 3: what they're doing, because you still want to see what
[44:44] Speaker 3: they do.
[44:44] Speaker 2: Some of y'all follow xes.
[44:51] Speaker 3: Just to see if who they with now is uglier
[44:54] Speaker 3: than who you are now. Y'all better quit playing around
[44:59] Speaker 3: with that because they might catch a come up and
[45:00] Speaker 3: you're gonna feel tor up.
[45:04] Speaker 6: It would serve you better to let them go live
[45:08] Speaker 6: their life because all of the space they are holding
[45:12] Speaker 6: in your soul is robbing you of becoming who God
[45:16] Speaker 6: has called you to be.
[45:20] Speaker 3: They don't need no more of your mind, they don't
[45:22] Speaker 3: need any more of your emotions.
[45:24] Speaker 2: Let it go. It happened. It was a great season.
[45:27] Speaker 3: It was hurtful, yes, but also it taught me some
[45:30] Speaker 3: things about friendships now that I use every single day.
[45:34] Speaker 2: That's all it was. Let it be that I had
[45:38] Speaker 2: a friend early on in ministry. He told me, he said,
[45:40] Speaker 2: you know.
[45:40] Speaker 3: People in your life are like scaffolding. Not everybody, but
[45:44] Speaker 3: some friends are like scaffolding. They come into your life
[45:48] Speaker 3: and are there to help build something.
[45:50] Speaker 2: But at some point, when the building is built, it.
[45:53] Speaker 3: Doesn't make sense to keep the scaffolding around the building.
[45:57] Speaker 3: Some of y'all still trying to figure out what the
[45:58] Speaker 3: word scaffolding is.
[46:01] Speaker 2: I saw somebody You're like, Okay, scaffolding.
[46:02] Speaker 3: Yes, you ever been in a downtown sead they're working
[46:06] Speaker 3: on the building. It's all that stuff, the construction worker.
[46:08] Speaker 3: It's there to support in a certain season. But it's
[46:12] Speaker 3: exactly that. When the scaffolding leaves, you don't demonize the scaffolding.
[46:17] Speaker 3: You don't say, see, the scaffolding was never that You
[46:19] Speaker 3: was just here trying to catch it.
[46:20] Speaker 2: Come up. You was just it.
[46:21] Speaker 3: No, it was just a season that God ordained for them.
[46:26] Speaker 3: Just let it be that it would serve you better
[46:30] Speaker 3: to let yourself just to be grateful.
[46:32] Speaker 2: For who they were in your life, grateful for the
[46:35] Speaker 2: season you had.
[46:37] Speaker 3: Because the truth is, if you cannot allow yourself to
[46:41] Speaker 3: get to that place, it's gonna keep robbing you. It's
[46:45] Speaker 3: gonna rob you of joy, it's gonna rob you of
[46:48] Speaker 3: beautiful moments, it's gonna rob you of Some of y'all
[46:52] Speaker 3: carry so much weight because you were hurt in a
[46:55] Speaker 3: past friendship, so you don't share what you're really going
[46:58] Speaker 3: through because you're worried what they'll do with that information.
[47:02] Speaker 3: So you live your whole life being strong, keeping it in.
[47:06] Speaker 3: I don't want to do anything I don't want And
[47:08] Speaker 3: there is parts of God you have not experienced.
[47:12] Speaker 2: Until you experience the beauty of something.
[47:15] Speaker 3: You're terrified to say, and you say it and they
[47:19] Speaker 3: don't freak out. That is one of the most healing
[47:23] Speaker 3: things that could ever happen in your life.
[47:25] Speaker 2: It's for you to be so worried, so terrified.
[47:30] Speaker 3: So unsure of what's gonna happen, and you say it
[47:35] Speaker 3: and nothing happens.
[47:37] Speaker 2: I'm gonna close out as a story that.
[47:40] Speaker 3: I write about in the book, and it's I've told
[47:44] Speaker 3: it before, but it's one of the most impactful moments
[47:48] Speaker 3: in my life. And I think this is twenty twenty
[47:52] Speaker 3: or twenty twenty one, the end, Yeah, the beginning of
[47:55] Speaker 3: twenty twenty one. I am struggling really, really bad with anxiety.
[48:00] Speaker 2: And panic attacks.
[48:01] Speaker 3: And I had a panic attack in one of my sermons, and.
[48:07] Speaker 2: The sermon's up on YouTube. You can't tell unless you
[48:09] Speaker 2: really really know me.
[48:10] Speaker 3: But literally, right when the sermon ended, I ran out
[48:14] Speaker 3: of the room, went back into this green room, was shaken,
[48:17] Speaker 3: just couldn't catch my breath. And it was just a
[48:19] Speaker 3: really tough season. And there was a stint there where
[48:23] Speaker 3: it felt like four or five times a week I
[48:26] Speaker 3: would have a panic attack. And I gotta give context
[48:31] Speaker 3: of this, because I grew up never feeling anxiety or
[48:35] Speaker 3: anxious or you know. There are some people that feel like, oh,
[48:37] Speaker 3: I felt that feeling for a long time, and there
[48:39] Speaker 3: are other of you, like panic attack.
[48:40] Speaker 2: What's you? I don't what are you talking about?
[48:42] Speaker 3: I felt that way, but it was the same thing
[48:45] Speaker 3: that would happen every single time. My neck would get
[48:48] Speaker 3: really hot, my head would get really fuzzy, my hands
[48:51] Speaker 3: would start shaking, and then I could not catch my breath,
[48:55] Speaker 3: felt like I couldn't breathe, will collapse to the ground,
[48:58] Speaker 3: start shaking like uncontrollably, and my wife would try to.
[49:02] Speaker 2: Calm me down.
[49:03] Speaker 3: Just breathe, just breathe, and I'm trying to breathe and
[49:05] Speaker 3: trying to breathe.
[49:06] Speaker 2: I'll never forget.
[49:06] Speaker 3: One night, it's dinner time and Abby has made a meal,
[49:10] Speaker 3: and I remember all day throughout work, I felt like
[49:14] Speaker 3: I was right on the edge of just trying to
[49:17] Speaker 3: cope and be aware. And I remember getting home if
[49:20] Speaker 3: she finished his dinner and I walk back into our
[49:21] Speaker 3: closet to grab something and it hit and I could
[49:24] Speaker 3: not I just immediately collapsed.
[49:25] Speaker 2: She comes in there and she is helping me, and.
[49:30] Speaker 3: She's getting the kids to bed, and I remember she
[49:33] Speaker 3: helps me get into the bed and I am like
[49:34] Speaker 3: shaking uncontrollably, cannot catch my breath.
[49:37] Speaker 2: I'm balling, crying, and I'm like, what is going on?
[49:39] Speaker 2: Why is this happening? And I literally some of you
[49:42] Speaker 2: all have experiences. It's crazy, but.
[49:44] Speaker 3: I fall as like I panic attack myself to sleep.
[49:48] Speaker 2: I'm so and I just fall asleep.
[49:51] Speaker 3: Well, I wake up, and when I wake up, I
[49:53] Speaker 3: immediately still feel all the feelings and I'm still kind
[49:55] Speaker 3: of like shaking, but my eyes are closed and I
[49:59] Speaker 3: kind of open my eyes and I just hear we're
[50:02] Speaker 3: all here, and I immediately close my eyes and I
[50:07] Speaker 3: knew whose.
[50:08] Speaker 2: Voice it was. It's Pastor Michael's voice.
[50:13] Speaker 3: And immediately, in that moment, I immediately felt so embarrassed
[50:18] Speaker 3: because these are all my friends I love. But the
[50:21] Speaker 3: truth is, I want them to think a certain way
[50:23] Speaker 3: about me. I don't want them to think I'm too
[50:26] Speaker 3: weak to handle this ministry stuff.
[50:29] Speaker 2: I don't want them to think I don't have what
[50:31] Speaker 2: it takes to do this.
[50:32] Speaker 3: And if you see me this week, are you gonna
[50:35] Speaker 3: let me keep leaving? Are you gonna let me keep preaching?
[50:36] Speaker 3: And You're gonna think, oh, Charles can't handle it.
[50:38] Speaker 2: We probably need to take some stuff from him.
[50:40] Speaker 3: And so I'm immediately embarrassed, kind of opened my eyes and.
[50:44] Speaker 2: I'm still kind of shaking.
[50:46] Speaker 3: It's Pastor Mike's Pastor Natalie, Abby's sitting right here next
[50:49] Speaker 3: to me, Aaron's standing at the end of my bed,
[50:52] Speaker 3: and Breeze right over here.
[50:55] Speaker 2: Look over at the clock. It's two am.
[51:02] Speaker 3: I had never stopped shaking throughout the whole night, and
[51:06] Speaker 3: my wife had gotten to a point where she didn't
[51:08] Speaker 3: know what.
[51:08] Speaker 2: To do, so she called all our friends. She was like, hey,
[51:12] Speaker 2: Charles' I don't know what's going on, and I need
[51:14] Speaker 2: you guys.
[51:16] Speaker 3: And two in the morning, Pastor, Mike and that load
[51:19] Speaker 3: all their kids up into their car, bring them over.
[51:22] Speaker 3: They're all asleep on my couch and they're all back
[51:24] Speaker 3: there in my bedroom, and I remember just feeling so
[51:28] Speaker 3: embarrassed be cause I'm like, gosh, this is not how
[51:31] Speaker 3: I wanted this to go. And I'm in my head
[51:34] Speaker 3: and I'm thinking, gosh, how could you let this happen.
[51:36] Speaker 3: They're not gonna let you do this. You see, You're
[51:38] Speaker 3: not You don't have what it takes. All the lies
[51:40] Speaker 3: and stuff that I show with are all here. Because
[51:42] Speaker 3: all my friends who I love and are amazing and.
[51:45] Speaker 2: Are incredible leaders and are incredibly.
[51:47] Speaker 3: Strong, they're all in this room. And I'll never forget
[51:49] Speaker 3: this moment.
[51:50] Speaker 2: In my head. It's dead silent in my head. I say,
[51:52] Speaker 2: what is wrong with you?
[51:55] Speaker 3: And Pastor breed right when I said that in my
[51:57] Speaker 3: head out loud, she goes, Charles there's nothing.
[51:59] Speaker 2: Wrong with you, and I'll never forget the feeling of
[52:06] Speaker 2: knowing that God talked to her to say something for me.
[52:15] Speaker 3: And some of you will never experience the grace of
[52:20] Speaker 3: God in such a unique way.
[52:24] Speaker 2: Until you are vulnerable enough to let your.
[52:28] Speaker 3: Friends see you at not your best because God is
[52:32] Speaker 3: waiting to talk to them about you. There's certain levels
[52:38] Speaker 3: of encouragement you can't get as long as you stay
[52:41] Speaker 3: as strong as you feel like you have to be
[52:42] Speaker 3: right now. There's certain levels of love you don't ever
[52:46] Speaker 3: feel until you have nothing to give a friendship and
[52:49] Speaker 3: they come up and they show up for you.
[52:51] Speaker 2: I know you feel like you got to be strong.
[52:53] Speaker 3: I know you're worried if they'll think about you differently,
[52:56] Speaker 3: But let me tell you something.
[52:57] Speaker 2: You will stay bound.
[52:58] Speaker 3: A significant portion of your life, or you can decide
[53:02] Speaker 3: it is not worth pretending like I have all the answers.
[53:05] Speaker 3: It's not worth acting like I'm.
[53:07] Speaker 2: Not going through what I'm going through.
[53:09] Speaker 3: And the moment you let yourself be that vulnerable, God
[53:14] Speaker 3: will speak to your friends about you. He'll speak to
[53:17] Speaker 3: your friends about what your marriage.
[53:18] Speaker 2: Is going through.
[53:19] Speaker 3: He'll speak to your friends about how frustrating the season.
[53:22] Speaker 2: It's been for you. But here's the thing. You gotta
[53:24] Speaker 2: be honest, you gotta be open about it.
[53:26] Speaker 3: This morning, I want to close out in a prayer for.
[53:28] Speaker 2: Everybody who has.
[53:34] Speaker 3: Been bound in some way by the expectation or disappointment
[53:39] Speaker 3: of what you thought a friendship was going to be.
[53:42] Speaker 3: There's some of you that there are certain people in
[53:44] Speaker 3: your life. It might be from childhood, it might be
[53:46] Speaker 3: somebody right now, but there's either an expectation you had
[53:49] Speaker 3: of them and they didn't do it, or there's something
[53:52] Speaker 3: they did do that did hurt you and it's inhibiting
[53:54] Speaker 3: your ability to embrace the beauty that is around you.
[53:58] Speaker 3: Some of you are holding your current friend group captive
[54:01] Speaker 3: for your last friend group. You don't say certain things,
[54:04] Speaker 3: you act a certain way, and it's not their fault.
[54:07] Speaker 3: It's people who hurt you in a past season. And
[54:09] Speaker 3: this morning we're gonna pray and you're gonna lay all
[54:10] Speaker 3: of that down. Ask everybody to bow their heads and
[54:13] Speaker 3: close their eyes, and this.
[54:16] Speaker 2: Morning we're gonna pray for two groups of people.
[54:18] Speaker 3: If you're in this room and you feel like and
[54:22] Speaker 3: there's some sort of friendship pain, friendship hurt.
[54:26] Speaker 2: Maybe you feel like you've never found a friend.
[54:29] Speaker 3: You feel like you've been a friend but haven't found
[54:31] Speaker 3: a friend. If you're in this room and any of
[54:34] Speaker 3: that affects you in any way, every bow, every eye close,
[54:37] Speaker 3: I almost want to ask you to slip your hand up.
[54:39] Speaker 3: There's some sort of pain, disappointment, whether it's a dating relationship,
[54:43] Speaker 3: a friendship, a spouse, a love them, whatever it is.
[54:48] Speaker 2: I want to pray for you.
[54:49] Speaker 3: God. You see every single person with their hand up,
[54:52] Speaker 3: Holy Spirit, right now, by your power, would you free them,
[54:59] Speaker 3: free them from resentment, heal the broken heart.
[55:07] Speaker 2: Lord, allow them to be what they never saw. Lord Jesus.
[55:09] Speaker 3: Right now, I am just praying by your spirit in
[55:11] Speaker 3: this room and online that any person that has a pain, anything,
[55:15] Speaker 3: they're bleeding, whatever it is, Lord God, that you would
[55:17] Speaker 3: heal them right now, Lord, restore joy to their life
[55:24] Speaker 3: through friendships.
[55:26] Speaker 2: Some of you have been so hurt by friends. There's
[55:28] Speaker 2: a certain.
[55:28] Speaker 3: Joy you feel like that friendship took from you. But
[55:31] Speaker 3: right now, in the name of Jesus, would you restore joy.
[55:34] Speaker 3: I pray Lord God that literally for friendships there would
[55:37] Speaker 3: be a beauty experienced through just laughter. Some of y'all
[55:42] Speaker 3: have not experienced laughter like you used to laugh because
[55:45] Speaker 3: you feel like you're so hurt, you're so broken, you're
[55:48] Speaker 3: so guarded. God, right now, would your spirit Lord irrupt
[55:52] Speaker 3: in them with the joy of the Lord. You can
[55:57] Speaker 3: put your hands down, every eye closed, every head still bowed.
[56:02] Speaker 3: One of my favorite songs is an old song, and
[56:06] Speaker 3: it says, there's not a friend like the lowly Jesus.
[56:10] Speaker 3: You need to know in this room that there is
[56:12] Speaker 3: no friend you will ever experience than Jesus Christ himself.
[56:17] Speaker 2: He's the only friend that.
[56:18] Speaker 3: Can see all of you and still choose all of you.
[56:20] Speaker 3: He's the only friend that can champion you, challenge you,
[56:23] Speaker 3: and change you all at the same time. He is
[56:26] Speaker 3: the greatest friend you could ever have in your life.
[56:29] Speaker 3: And if you're in here today and you've never accepted Jesus,
[56:31] Speaker 3: you've never accepted him as the friend. You've never accepted
[56:34] Speaker 3: them to be the person who leads your life.
[56:37] Speaker 2: I'm gonna count the three. I'm gonna ask you to
[56:38] Speaker 2: raise your hand.
[56:39] Speaker 3: And when you raise your hand, you're saying I'm surrendering
[56:42] Speaker 3: my life to Jesus. You're saying I give up trying
[56:45] Speaker 3: to run my life. I want him to guide and
[56:48] Speaker 3: direct my life. I'm gonna counter three, and this is
[56:50] Speaker 3: gonna be the greatest moment of your life. It's gonna
[56:52] Speaker 3: change everything for you. I promise. It won't make everything perfect.
[56:56] Speaker 3: It's not gonna immediately be a magic moment. But what
[56:58] Speaker 3: will happen is you will start to experience the grace,
[57:01] Speaker 3: love and mercy of the greatest friend, Jesus, and he
[57:04] Speaker 3: will change your life forever. If you want to surrender
[57:07] Speaker 3: your life to Jesus Christ, if you're under the sound
[57:10] Speaker 3: of my voice on the count of three, I want
[57:12] Speaker 3: you to lift your hand. One.
[57:13] Speaker 2: He loves you.
[57:14] Speaker 3: Two. Today is the day of salvation. Three, lift your
[57:17] Speaker 3: hand right now in the room online, I.
[57:19] Speaker 2: See you over here.
[57:20] Speaker 3: I got you, bro, So proud of you over here,
[57:23] Speaker 3: so proud of you, so proud of you. Everybody online,
[57:26] Speaker 3: We're so grateful. I see you over here, so proud
[57:29] Speaker 3: of you, so proud of you.
[57:30] Speaker 2: I see you. Sis.
[57:31] Speaker 3: Hey, listen, I want everybody out loud to repeat this
[57:34] Speaker 3: prayer after me. Say, Dear God, I admit I've made mistakes, Save.
[57:40] Speaker 2: Me, change me, make me new in Jesus name, I pray. Amen.
[57:47] Speaker 3: Can you give God a shout of praise for everybody
[57:49] Speaker 3: who just saved their life to Jesus.
[57:54] Speaker 2: So grateful. Hey listen, we're about to get out of here.
[57:58] Speaker 3: If you just made that decision, text the words say
[58:00] Speaker 3: to A two eight two a two.
[58:02] Speaker 2: The other thing is if you do not have friends.
[58:06] Speaker 3: Sometimes having a friend is taking the risks to be
[58:08] Speaker 3: a friend. You can introduce yourself to somebody here. We
[58:11] Speaker 3: have tribes that meet all over the place. You can
[58:14] Speaker 3: go to our app. You can ask somebody in an
[58:16] Speaker 3: orange T shirt. Just walk up to them and say, hey,
[58:18] Speaker 3: I'm trying to join a tribe. They can help you
[58:20] Speaker 3: find somebody. Pass an ambulet over here, got this lime
[58:22] Speaker 3: green jumpsuit and her husband, Ken is right over here.
[58:25] Speaker 3: I'm not kidding as Dame's will, but Barbie and Ken
[58:28] Speaker 3: is what I call him. You need a friend for real.
[58:32] Speaker 3: Do not leave church without getting that. I want to
[58:34] Speaker 3: take a moment pray over your week. Hey listen, our
[58:36] Speaker 3: worship team is gonna continue to sing.
[58:38] Speaker 2: We have prayer.
[58:39] Speaker 3: If you need prayer for anything at all, you can
[58:41] Speaker 3: take a moment and stop buying the back on line.
[58:43] Speaker 2: We're gonna take a moment pray for you, but don't
[58:45] Speaker 2: pray over your week. We just stand up with me.
[58:47] Speaker 3: Lo gotta thank you for this week, but I pray
[58:49] Speaker 3: that your spirit would lead us and guide us. Got
[58:52] Speaker 3: to thank you that you have always been a friend.
[58:54] Speaker 3: You've been a friend that sticks closer than a brother.
[58:56] Speaker 3: You've been a friend that saws stuff in us when
[58:58] Speaker 3: we didn't see it ourselves. So God, we say we
[59:01] Speaker 3: love you, we trust you, and we worship you.
[59:03] Speaker 2: It's in the beautiful name of Jesus we pray. And
[59:05] Speaker 2: everybody said Amen, Amen, Amen,

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