# Dear Banya: Passenger Princess

An episode of [Scrubbing In with Becca Tilley & Tanya Rad](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1279955329), 26 Feb 2026, 32 min.

Audio: https://podtrac.com/pts/redirect.mp3/arttrk.com/p/D5CA5/pdst.fm/e/pscrb.fm/rss/p/traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/009b23ef-9bd1-4caf-a592-ae3101631380/28ccaf3d-ca36-40a6-a093-b3fd011c28e4/audio.mp3?utm_source=Podcast&in_playlist=7e804438-d6f3-48a0-9de8-ae310163138e

Becca and Tanya are back to help some Scrubbers with their hard hitting questions! What do you do when someone makes you feel insecure? Is it okay to rehome a pet if you can’t take care of it? And what should you do if your partner wants you to meet their mom… on her birthday?? Plus, Tanya has a revelation about her driving skills. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

## Transcript

[0:00] Speaker 1: Scrubbing In with Becka Tilly and Tanya rad and iHeartRadio
[0:04] Speaker 1: and two times People's Choice Award winning podcast.
[0:10] Speaker 2: Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in.
[0:15] Speaker 3: Tis we tis the season.
[0:18] Speaker 2: It's every Every season is the season for scrubbing in.
[0:22] Speaker 3: So I have to tell you something, okay, And I
[0:25] Speaker 3: feel like you're gonna agree with this because you just
[0:29] Speaker 3: I just know you are. But normally when I'm like,
[0:33] Speaker 3: I have become a passenger princess. Okay, Robbie just enjoys
[0:38] Speaker 3: driving all the time, like he does not enjoy being
[0:40] Speaker 3: a passenger. He likes driving, so when we go places,
[0:43] Speaker 3: he drives me too. So I'm usually just driving like
[0:46] Speaker 3: myself for the kids. I'm never driving him, I see,
[0:49] Speaker 3: do you know what I mean? Yeah, So for his birthday,
[0:52] Speaker 3: I did some activities that I was I didn't want
[0:55] Speaker 3: to tell him, so I drove him to these activities. Right,
[0:59] Speaker 3: So he is in my car and he is the
[1:02] Speaker 3: worst backseat driver, Like he's just chirp, chirp, chirping away.
[1:06] Speaker 3: But he wasn't wrong.
[1:07] Speaker 4: And and.
[1:10] Speaker 3: Yeah, like I I don't really stop. I drive really slow,
[1:14] Speaker 3: so I will say that I'm like a grandma, drive
[1:16] Speaker 3: really slow. However, I don't fully stop at stop signs.
[1:19] Speaker 3: I kind of just like roll through, roll through, but
[1:22] Speaker 3: I go slow. I'm going slow. I'm not like speeding
[1:24] Speaker 3: through like I'm still going slow. I'm just like slowly
[1:26] Speaker 3: approaching and then slowly I'm off and then up the
[1:30] Speaker 3: canyons with these like windy kind of like these windy roads,
[1:34] Speaker 3: and I don't really stay on my side, I just
[1:36] Speaker 3: like take up the whole whole road because I've never
[1:39] Speaker 3: seen any other cars coming around. And he was like, Babe,
[1:42] Speaker 3: if there was another car coming around the corner, like
[1:44] Speaker 3: that would be so bad. And I was like, you're right, yeah,
[1:49] Speaker 3: it would be it'd be bad. But I haven't seen whatever.
[1:53] Speaker 3: And driving these streets since nine to nine.
[1:56] Speaker 2: Let's just start trying to stay within the lines that
[1:59] Speaker 2: are there for a reason.
[2:00] Speaker 3: Line they don't have lines on them. They're lineless.
[2:04] Speaker 2: What road are you talking about?
[2:05] Speaker 3: Random roads? They're lineless because they're small. There's small roads, okay,
[2:11] Speaker 3: so like they're lineless.
[2:14] Speaker 1: Residential streets often will not what you're saying.
[2:17] Speaker 3: Yes, it's see residentially, I'm not like going down Hollywood.
[2:21] Speaker 2: Boulevard, Okay, I personally so I too, am the driver
[2:27] Speaker 2: of our relationship. Haley is very much the passenger princess.
[2:32] Speaker 2: And it's not because she doesn't want to drive. It's
[2:34] Speaker 2: because I'm like, absolutely not because and I'm not kidding,
[2:38] Speaker 2: Like nine times out of ten we will bicker because
[2:41] Speaker 2: she will do something and she'll be like, babe, I
[2:44] Speaker 2: swear because I'll go I'm a bad backseat driver too.
[2:48] Speaker 2: So it's a bad combo because she'll miss not like
[2:53] Speaker 2: not see someone has their brakes on and slam on
[2:55] Speaker 2: her brakes. Or she'll be staring at me and I'm like,
[2:58] Speaker 2: can you look at the road, and she is so beautiful,
[3:00] Speaker 2: I get distracted. I'm like, well then I need to
[3:03] Speaker 2: be driving. So that's our role. You know, you're so
[3:09] Speaker 2: scary to ride in the car with.
[3:10] Speaker 5: Why You'll just be like let me replay this song
[3:14] Speaker 5: and like fusing with your phone and I'm like, we're
[3:17] Speaker 5: going down literally the canyons, like zooming.
[3:21] Speaker 2: I don't consider you a slow driver, actually really I
[3:24] Speaker 2: don't think so. Really, I think I'm always quite scared
[3:27] Speaker 2: of how erratic and past we're going.
[3:30] Speaker 3: That's crazy. That is like a long day because I
[3:34] Speaker 3: drive very slow.
[3:36] Speaker 2: Well I don't maybe it's slow and erratic either way.
[3:41] Speaker 2: I always am thinking if if it's my choice, if
[3:44] Speaker 2: I'm writing in the car with Tanya, I'm going to
[3:46] Speaker 2: offer to drive, never not offering to drive.
[3:52] Speaker 3: Well, it's all been noted, and I'm gonna start taking
[3:57] Speaker 3: driving lessons because I think.
[4:00] Speaker 2: I think there's some things that you can correct without
[4:02] Speaker 2: needing lessons. Though I think it's.
[4:04] Speaker 5: Stopping at a stop sign.
[4:07] Speaker 2: You can do that, staying on one side of the road,
[4:11] Speaker 2: doabole going to speed limit.
[4:14] Speaker 1: I do want to speed limit.
[4:16] Speaker 2: I drive in my FLD slowly on the freeway, but
[4:19] Speaker 2: that's also dangerous. Why are you going too slow on
[4:22] Speaker 2: the freeway. You're too slow?
[4:24] Speaker 3: Please please, please, please respect. I have some respect on
[4:28] Speaker 3: my name.
[4:29] Speaker 2: Sometimes your conversations, it's like our relationship really mirrors each.
[4:33] Speaker 3: Other, me and Robbie and you and Haley.
[4:35] Speaker 2: Yes yeah, with you being Haley and Robbie and I being.
[4:40] Speaker 3: Like yeah, it's tough being in a relationship with us.
[4:43] Speaker 3: So I understand.
[4:46] Speaker 2: Wow, you're so self aware rate today.
[4:49] Speaker 3: I'm nothing if not aware, nothing aware.
[4:55] Speaker 2: We're skipping the jingle until we have what we want.
[5:00] Speaker 2: So don't worry.
[5:01] Speaker 3: Now, you're just gonna get us singing live each time.
[5:04] Speaker 2: You gotta come with the question on you.
[5:07] Speaker 3: I have an idea. Dear bond Ya.
[5:13] Speaker 1: That was Amy Rose by the way, Yeah, from Sonic Rose.
[5:17] Speaker 3: We'll never know.
[5:17] Speaker 2: We realized that Tonya can't channel Amy Rose unless she's
[5:20] Speaker 2: singing the Dear Bondy. It's a it's a complicated situation
[5:24] Speaker 2: we're in.
[5:25] Speaker 3: You know, who's gonna be really sad one day when
[5:28] Speaker 3: I finally get my role in some animated movie, the
[5:33] Speaker 3: Sonic people will come crawling back to me.
[5:36] Speaker 2: You just watch.
[5:37] Speaker 1: Yeah, you're gonna hang up on them when they do that.
[5:39] Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm gonna say sorry. I'm already gonna be in
[5:41] Speaker 3: Frozen seventeen.
[5:44] Speaker 2: Wow, we have a long way before she gets hurt
[5:47] Speaker 2: her star.
[5:51] Speaker 1: You see.
[5:52] Speaker 3: That's why I went to y'all.
[5:53] Speaker 2: Are y'all are pretty simpatico? Is that the word? Like
[5:57] Speaker 2: in line with each other.
[5:59] Speaker 1: But it's a rivalry.
[6:00] Speaker 2: Now, she took your job on one sidry it.
[6:04] Speaker 1: Is, you're gonna take her job from Frozen. By the way,
[6:05] Speaker 1: She's coming on the show on Friday, so tomorrow, so yeah,
[6:09] Speaker 1: you're welcome to call her out to.
[6:12] Speaker 3: Promote this movie.
[6:13] Speaker 1: No, she's talking about the Actor Awards oh, the sag
[6:17] Speaker 1: Award formerly.
[6:18] Speaker 2: Known as Yeah, Oh my gosh, you should have a
[6:23] Speaker 2: amy Ro's voice off.
[6:25] Speaker 3: I wonder if she has it down.
[6:28] Speaker 2: I'm sure she auditioned for right.
[6:30] Speaker 3: And that's what she has to use.
[6:33] Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm sure, but maybe you could give her some tips.
[6:38] Speaker 3: Face to face, just.
[6:40] Speaker 2: Like eyeing her down and she's like, weird?
[6:43] Speaker 3: Why is this girl looking at me so weird?
[6:47] Speaker 1: Dear Bonya, shall we from anonymous fellow scrubbing in crew.
[6:52] Speaker 1: My first time writing in because I genuinely don't know
[6:54] Speaker 1: what to do or who to talk to about this.
[6:56] Speaker 1: I'm three months postpartum after my second child, going back
[6:59] Speaker 1: to where and I decided to join my work indoor
[7:02] Speaker 1: soccer team because I played soccer in high school. I
[7:05] Speaker 1: was nervous and I felt vulnerable because my first time
[7:07] Speaker 1: doing something this active since the baby, and my body
[7:09] Speaker 1: is different now. I had my husband coming. He bought
[7:12] Speaker 1: my two year old daughter and newborn's son. I was
[7:14] Speaker 1: out of shape, but I felt proud of myself. I
[7:16] Speaker 1: could hear my two year old cheer for me from
[7:18] Speaker 1: the stands. On the way home, my husband told me
[7:20] Speaker 1: he heard a woman say that if I was just
[7:22] Speaker 1: coming back from a baby. Maybe I should have joined
[7:25] Speaker 1: a less competitive team. What is she doing here? Anyway?
[7:28] Speaker 1: He told me this because he said it made it
[7:29] Speaker 1: mad and he wanted to defend me. Ultimately, though, his
[7:32] Speaker 1: telling me this story made me sad. I started to cry. First,
[7:35] Speaker 1: it's supposed to be a fun work league. It's not
[7:37] Speaker 1: supposed to be competitive. Second, I was so nervous, and
[7:40] Speaker 1: that's so I confirmed my fears and I felt dumb
[7:42] Speaker 1: going to play. I was proud and happy my kid
[7:44] Speaker 1: could see me out there, but it felt like that
[7:45] Speaker 1: all want us the window. After hearing that story, I
[7:48] Speaker 1: need advice I want to do next. My work wants
[7:50] Speaker 1: me to come play, and my husband's trying to tell
[7:52] Speaker 1: me don't. With some other people still play, it's easier
[7:55] Speaker 1: said than done. Do I tell anyone about this comment
[7:57] Speaker 1: that was said. I'd love to keep playing soccer in
[7:59] Speaker 1: front of my daughter, who cheered for me, but I'm
[8:01] Speaker 1: having a hard time putting myself in a vulnerable position again.
[8:04] Speaker 1: Any thoughts and advice are welcomed. Thank you for being
[8:07] Speaker 1: a space Wherecord write down my thoughts and feelings. Even
[8:09] Speaker 1: if you don't read this on the podcast.
[8:13] Speaker 2: Well that you show up every single week this leak
[8:18] Speaker 2: because you know what you I have. I can say
[8:21] Speaker 2: this because I recently like just sort of playing in
[8:23] Speaker 2: the back and it's not even a league, the basketball
[8:25] Speaker 2: thing I'm playing. It's just like a pickup basketball game.
[8:28] Speaker 2: Going and doing something like that new with people that
[8:31] Speaker 2: you don't know very well or only know on like
[8:34] Speaker 2: a work level, and and putting yourself in a vulnerable position,
[8:37] Speaker 2: especially when you know, like you're not at your peak
[8:40] Speaker 2: athleticism or being in shape is so powerful. And I
[8:45] Speaker 2: hope that you don't let I heard this thing the
[8:47] Speaker 2: other day, don't let the criticism of losers affect you.
[8:52] Speaker 2: And I was like, wow, that is such a thing,
[8:54] Speaker 2: because why do we listen and let things get in
[8:57] Speaker 2: our head when it's from people like you're such a
[9:02] Speaker 2: badass woman going out there having a baby and then
[9:05] Speaker 2: going to play soccer. Like I couldn't even play soccer
[9:09] Speaker 2: right now, it's so much running. So I say, don't listen,
[9:13] Speaker 2: go out there, show them why you wanted to play.
[9:15] Speaker 2: And if you, for whatever reason feel like, hey, this
[9:18] Speaker 2: league feels a little too advanced for where I'm at
[9:20] Speaker 2: right now, I want to join. If you feel that way,
[9:23] Speaker 2: take a step back.
[9:24] Speaker 3: And be she doesn't. She's literally saying she's having fun,
[9:27] Speaker 3: she loves having her kids seeing her out there. She's
[9:31] Speaker 3: enjoying it.
[9:31] Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying. But I'm saying if she gets
[9:33] Speaker 2: to a point where she's like, dang, like I'm struggle
[9:35] Speaker 2: or you know, I'm like, but if as long as
[9:37] Speaker 2: you feel good about being out there, I say, you
[9:40] Speaker 2: show up every week.
[9:41] Speaker 3: It just bothers. I know, it's so much easier said
[9:44] Speaker 3: than done. It's so easy for us to sit here
[9:46] Speaker 3: and say, come, don't listen to what anybody else to say, like,
[9:49] Speaker 3: live your life unapologetically be you, and like I am
[9:53] Speaker 3: the first person to say that, But I know it's
[9:55] Speaker 3: so much easier said than done. But at the end
[9:58] Speaker 3: of the day, like, that's your life, you know what
[10:00] Speaker 3: I mean, Like you don't want to have regrets about
[10:03] Speaker 3: something because of somebody else's stupid opinion, you know what
[10:07] Speaker 3: I mean. Like, and we get it all the time.
[10:10] Speaker 3: People are constantly, like even in our Facebook group, calling
[10:13] Speaker 3: us out for things that we you know, like or
[10:16] Speaker 3: how I act, or if I'm annoying, or I find
[10:18] Speaker 3: this or that. If I listen to people, I would
[10:20] Speaker 3: literally drive myself nuts trying to just like appease every
[10:24] Speaker 3: single person. At the end of the day, you have
[10:26] Speaker 3: to live your life authentically to who you are. You
[10:29] Speaker 3: want to go out there, you want to play the game,
[10:31] Speaker 3: you're having fun. It seems like this is the only
[10:33] Speaker 3: person that has a problem with it, and it's not
[10:35] Speaker 3: her problem. It's not her business. I stand on business.
[10:41] Speaker 2: I think you should go up to the girl who
[10:42] Speaker 2: said it and say I heard that. No one's kidding.
[10:45] Speaker 2: I heard that you were talking about me, and I
[10:47] Speaker 2: wanted to know if you were still feeling that way.
[10:51] Speaker 3: But I also think he's not going to do that.
[10:52] Speaker 2: I'm just kidding. I'm kidding. I would never do that.
[10:54] Speaker 3: But why don't we do that? Why don't we do that?
[10:58] Speaker 2: So yes, sometimes it's just like showing up and like
[11:01] Speaker 2: being good at soccer is the best form of a response.
[11:04] Speaker 3: Yesterday we were or whatever day was, Robbie and I
[11:07] Speaker 3: were out to breakfast and we had Sonny with us,
[11:10] Speaker 3: and this girl at the table was like kind of
[11:14] Speaker 3: just like giving us these like like vibes. That's I
[11:16] Speaker 3: was keeping sunny like on the other side, right, and
[11:18] Speaker 3: she was like being so chill. She didn't jump on
[11:20] Speaker 3: her or she didn't, she was just there. Okay. So
[11:22] Speaker 3: the girl's friend comes back to the table. They start
[11:24] Speaker 3: speaking in a different language that Robbie knows, and they're
[11:28] Speaker 3: like talking madge on my dog. They're like, oh my god,
[11:31] Speaker 3: that girl's dog like just scared me. And the other
[11:33] Speaker 3: girl was like, yeah, her fur just got all over
[11:36] Speaker 3: my food. And Robbie was like, they were talking mad
[11:39] Speaker 3: you know what on Sunny And I was like, why
[11:41] Speaker 3: don't you tell me we were there? Because I literally
[11:42] Speaker 3: would have turned to the table and been like, maybe
[11:45] Speaker 3: if you're trying to talk ish on somebody else, speak
[11:49] Speaker 3: a different language, because my husband can understand you and
[11:51] Speaker 3: I know exactly what you're saying.
[11:53] Speaker 2: I wish Robbie would have responded in the language I know.
[11:56] Speaker 1: I know.
[11:57] Speaker 3: He's just like he's an unproblematic king, like he just
[11:59] Speaker 3: like I can't be bothered. And I was like so
[12:01] Speaker 3: pissed because he said it as we were walking out,
[12:03] Speaker 3: and I was like, I'm tempted to go back there
[12:06] Speaker 3: and just like go off. Why don't we do that?
[12:10] Speaker 3: We should do it more. People need to not be
[12:12] Speaker 3: able to.
[12:12] Speaker 2: Just do this stuff, to speak their minds.
[12:16] Speaker 3: No, like this girl's saying like whatever the soccer team
[12:19] Speaker 3: soccer was saying, It's like, no.
[12:21] Speaker 2: I'm gonna say, Anonymous, what do you get? What do
[12:25] Speaker 2: you get out of not going back to this soccer team? Like,
[12:29] Speaker 2: what do you get out of letting her win?
[12:31] Speaker 4: Yeah?
[12:32] Speaker 2: Nothing, nothing, You're just gonna be like, dang, I wish
[12:34] Speaker 2: I was playing soccer weekly.
[12:36] Speaker 3: Nobody got on her head, and now she's feeling insecure,
[12:38] Speaker 3: which it really.
[12:40] Speaker 2: But I need to take that insecurity and even if
[12:43] Speaker 2: you're scared, even if you're nervous, do it anyway, because
[12:47] Speaker 2: the more you show up and continue to play, the
[12:49] Speaker 2: easier it's gonna get, not only psychologically but physically, it's
[12:53] Speaker 2: gonna get easier. The more you're playing, you're gonna feel better.
[12:55] Speaker 2: You're gonna feel back to your high school self, and
[12:59] Speaker 2: you're gonna feel oud that you're out there, and that
[13:01] Speaker 2: girl is going to be like dang, she's pretty good.
[13:04] Speaker 1: The insecurity is from the other woman, the woman who
[13:06] Speaker 1: said that she clearly wishes she could be out there. Absolutely,
[13:11] Speaker 1: the day you stop caring about what others think is
[13:13] Speaker 1: the day you start living. That's it. And one more thing,
[13:16] Speaker 1: it's it's hard. The next time you score a goal
[13:19] Speaker 1: and you're running back towards midfield, I want you to
[13:21] Speaker 1: look at her. Yes, I want you to stare her down. Yep,
[13:24] Speaker 1: that's it, and she wants She may not even know.
[13:26] Speaker 2: Why, Anonymous, I need an update, but you better be
[13:31] Speaker 2: on the soccer field next week, and if it's in LA,
[13:36] Speaker 2: we'll come cheer you on. Okay, this next one is
[13:41] Speaker 2: it's not funny, but it's it's a dilemma we should
[13:44] Speaker 2: break beforehand.
[13:45] Speaker 1: But I do want to do this one because we've
[13:46] Speaker 1: never gotten anything close to this before.
[13:49] Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's funny.
[13:50] Speaker 4: We're back.
[14:10] Speaker 1: That's right, Dear Banya, all capitalized like it's an acronym.
[14:16] Speaker 1: I've been a Day one listener. I love you for
[14:18] Speaker 1: so much. I only listen to one podcast and it's
[14:21] Speaker 1: scrubbing in. Wow, best vibes, easy going, makes me laugh.
[14:24] Speaker 1: Your half at all, that's nice. I need your takes.
[14:27] Speaker 1: I have a six year old Scottish fold cat. She's
[14:30] Speaker 1: super cute, soft, a lover her butt. She's a COVID
[14:32] Speaker 1: baby and didn't meet anyone else new for the first
[14:34] Speaker 1: year of her life, and as a result, she's incredibly
[14:36] Speaker 1: mean and scary to anyone who comes into my house.
[14:39] Speaker 1: She has nine pounds of terror, and everyone knows it.
[14:42] Speaker 1: She's caused injuries. My sister in law banged her, had
[14:45] Speaker 1: a fridge running away from her. A friend got attacked
[14:50] Speaker 1: on the foot for just standing in my kitchen, and
[14:53] Speaker 1: my boyfriend fell down the stairs and sprained his elbow
[14:55] Speaker 1: after she hissed and lunched at him. My siblings won't
[14:59] Speaker 1: let me, baby said, they're kids because they're so scared
[15:01] Speaker 1: of her. She won't let anyone but me pet her,
[15:04] Speaker 1: and occasionally we cuddle when people come over. I lock
[15:07] Speaker 1: her in my bedroom. I have a huge room, lots
[15:08] Speaker 1: of windows. It's not cruel, I promise, but I do
[15:10] Speaker 1: this because I'm constantly worried she'll attack someone. And here's
[15:13] Speaker 1: the part I feel awful about. My boyfriend is thinking
[15:15] Speaker 1: about moving in, and I'm considering rehoming her. I love her,
[15:19] Speaker 1: but I don't feel super connected. I crave a connection
[15:22] Speaker 1: we don't have. I've even thought about asking the breeder
[15:24] Speaker 1: to take her back. Most people are devastated when their
[15:27] Speaker 1: animal passes, and I'm here, and here, I am contemplating
[15:30] Speaker 1: giving mine away. I feel terrible, but I also don't
[15:32] Speaker 1: want my boyfriend uncomfortable, or anyone else getting hurt? What
[15:34] Speaker 1: would you do? Love you all, Thank you for making
[15:36] Speaker 1: my week twice a week.
[15:38] Speaker 2: Okay, this is a real dilemma. I'm sorry you're going
[15:41] Speaker 2: through it. But the injuries of everyone scattering, preaturing a
[15:45] Speaker 2: nine mold god.
[15:46] Speaker 3: Is lunging at him.
[15:51] Speaker 1: Oh, the sister running and banging her head into the fridge,
[15:54] Speaker 1: that's just great. But this is clearly really a problem
[15:57] Speaker 1: for you. And we're sorry you're going through this.
[16:01] Speaker 3: And I don't know much long time, but I also
[16:03] Speaker 3: don't know much about cats. Like cats have a long life,
[16:06] Speaker 3: like they say, like nine lives, Like she's gonna you're
[16:10] Speaker 3: gonna have this cat for.
[16:11] Speaker 1: Between twelve and eighteen years they much.
[16:15] Speaker 2: I'm being told, there's no wayed eighteen is a long time.
[16:19] Speaker 2: I think twenty is like the oldest cat I've ever
[16:21] Speaker 2: been around.
[16:23] Speaker 1: Scottish fold cats eleven fifteen.
[16:25] Speaker 3: Dogs average lifespans forever, forever, forever.
[16:30] Speaker 2: Don't talk about that right now. Okay, I don't know
[16:33] Speaker 2: much about cats, and cats.
[16:34] Speaker 3: Lived much longer than dogs. Oh learned something Neway.
[16:40] Speaker 2: I don't know if you can train cats like I
[16:43] Speaker 2: don't know if you.
[16:43] Speaker 3: Know a dog camp you can tend to like cat camp.
[16:47] Speaker 2: You know how you can send dogs away to like
[16:49] Speaker 2: a trainer and they can work on behavioral issues. I
[16:52] Speaker 2: don't know if cats have that same they must, I
[16:55] Speaker 2: don't know. They're different. You know, it's a different.
[16:58] Speaker 3: It's feline, it's a Yeah.
[17:03] Speaker 2: I have no issue if you find someone that is
[17:06] Speaker 2: going to love the cat and like be able to
[17:10] Speaker 2: to deal with this cat's temperament and it's all of
[17:13] Speaker 2: it's all the things that it comes with, it's terrorizing behavior.
[17:18] Speaker 2: I am not opposed to rehoming.
[17:21] Speaker 3: Yeah, rehoming and like being diligent and finding a nice
[17:25] Speaker 3: home is one thing. But I feel like just giving
[17:27] Speaker 3: her to a shelter.
[17:29] Speaker 2: I don't support that.
[17:29] Speaker 3: I don't. Yeah, I think that would be really sad.
[17:34] Speaker 2: So I would say, maybe contact the breeder first because
[17:38] Speaker 2: they might be able to They might have like a
[17:40] Speaker 2: wait list, so they might be able to rehome it
[17:42] Speaker 2: to yeh, like.
[17:43] Speaker 3: Some loan, like someone that really wants just a cat, and.
[17:48] Speaker 2: It might her. I don't know if this how it works,
[17:50] Speaker 2: but maybe it's just your's personalities don't mash. Maybe she'll
[17:53] Speaker 2: find someone and be super loving and.
[17:57] Speaker 3: Cuddly, but also you have a life that's like very
[17:59] Speaker 3: it feels very active a lot of people, so yeah, yeah,
[18:01] Speaker 3: like some people don't have very social lives. They're like
[18:04] Speaker 3: a little bit to themselves.
[18:05] Speaker 2: So like the older person, Yeah, this.
[18:07] Speaker 3: Might be a better pairing for somebody like that.
[18:09] Speaker 2: Mm hm. So I would say, don't feel shame in
[18:12] Speaker 2: needing to rehome if you can find a place that's
[18:15] Speaker 2: going to love and nurture this cat. Yeah, they're also
[18:19] Speaker 2: Scottish folds, I think are very like expensive and isn't
[18:23] Speaker 2: that what Taylor Swift has.
[18:25] Speaker 3: I don't know anything about cats, literally nothing.
[18:29] Speaker 2: But I'm really sorry you're going through this because I
[18:31] Speaker 2: know it's a hard decision. But it seems like once
[18:34] Speaker 2: you get the once you can find someone to take
[18:37] Speaker 2: her on, you'll be happy to have her off your hands,
[18:41] Speaker 2: is what it sounds like.
[18:41] Speaker 1: Taylor Swift has two Scottish fold cats. Yeah, Meredith Gray
[18:44] Speaker 1: and Olivia Benson are both Scottish fold cats.
[18:46] Speaker 2: And I think that they're pretty cuddly and sweet, So
[18:50] Speaker 2: I think unfortunately, I think our listener thought that's what
[18:53] Speaker 2: she was getting and unfortunately did not. But I would say,
[18:59] Speaker 2: you know, I don't know, look into training cat training. Yeah,
[19:03] Speaker 2: that's what I would do.
[19:04] Speaker 3: And then if not, I was one Phase one fails.
[19:09] Speaker 2: If base one fails, seek a loving home that will
[19:13] Speaker 2: match this sweet little terror of a cat's life style.
[19:19] Speaker 2: I'm just think Phoebe's nine pounds, So I'm picturing Phoebe
[19:22] Speaker 2: just hissing and like chasing after me speaking.
[19:25] Speaker 3: It's scary. Sometimes she doesn't, sometimes she can.
[19:29] Speaker 2: She's alpha mentality, she's stout, she's dense, dense, Yeah, she's
[19:34] Speaker 2: got some density word. Yeah. Good Luckily, So we're wishing
[19:40] Speaker 2: you the best.
[19:44] Speaker 1: Good luck to your family, good luck to everyone involved.
[19:47] Speaker 2: Who's at risk? Whoa talking that?
[19:54] Speaker 1: All right?
[19:54] Speaker 4: Uh?
[19:55] Speaker 1: High scrubbing and squad. I have a longtime listen and
[19:57] Speaker 1: lover of the pod and very much a beckup. I
[19:59] Speaker 1: hope it can help me navigate a dilemma I'm dealing with.
[20:01] Speaker 1: I've been dating my boyfriend about six months, and he
[20:03] Speaker 1: decided to throw his mom a surprized birthday party for
[20:06] Speaker 1: an upcoming milestone birthday. I love that he wants to
[20:09] Speaker 1: celebrate her in such a thoughtful way. I've been helping
[20:11] Speaker 1: with the planning. I enjoy that kind of thing, and
[20:13] Speaker 1: he's really not the best at it. Here's where it
[20:15] Speaker 1: gets tricky. I've never met her. I just met his
[20:19] Speaker 1: twin daughter for the first time less than a week
[20:21] Speaker 1: ago at a group setting at church. Going to this
[20:23] Speaker 1: party doesn't feel like the right move. I don't want
[20:25] Speaker 1: his mom to feel obligated to spend time with me
[20:27] Speaker 1: in her own celebration when she should just be enjoying herself.
[20:30] Speaker 1: And going from a very brief introduction with his daughter
[20:33] Speaker 1: right into a big family event feels like a lot.
[20:36] Speaker 1: To make it more complicated, he told me he invited
[20:38] Speaker 1: his daughter's mom, her mom's boyfriend, and her mom to
[20:42] Speaker 1: the party. He's also mentioned multiple times in the past
[20:46] Speaker 1: that his daughter's mom won't like me, which has another
[20:48] Speaker 1: layer of awkwardness. I do want to add this. I
[20:50] Speaker 1: know he has dreams one day of having a big, cohesive,
[20:53] Speaker 1: blended family with his future spouse and his daughter's family.
[20:55] Speaker 1: I'm totally on board with that. I'd love for us
[20:57] Speaker 1: to be amicably attending events together and supporting his daughter
[21:01] Speaker 1: as a united front. I'm just not convinced that jumping
[21:03] Speaker 1: into this situation this early is the right way to
[21:05] Speaker 1: build that dynamic. His mom was out of town mending
[21:09] Speaker 1: her before the party is not an option. His daughter's
[21:11] Speaker 1: mom and him were never romantically involved, so it's not
[21:14] Speaker 1: a lingering feeling situation. He really wants me to go
[21:17] Speaker 1: and is clearly annoyed that I'm hesitant. I've met some
[21:20] Speaker 1: extended family and his brother, but only once. I want
[21:22] Speaker 1: to be a supportive girlfriend. I know how much throwing
[21:24] Speaker 1: this party means to him, but I can't check the
[21:26] Speaker 1: feeling that I'm walking into a nightmare. Do I go
[21:28] Speaker 1: and support him? Or is it reasonable to set a
[21:31] Speaker 1: boundary here and sit this one out? Love the girlfriend
[21:33] Speaker 1: with no onboarding?
[21:36] Speaker 2: Hm?
[21:39] Speaker 3: Why have all I need to know?
[21:41] Speaker 4: Oh?
[21:41] Speaker 2: What?
[21:41] Speaker 3: Ami? Because she says I'm trying to find exactly where
[21:47] Speaker 3: she said it, but she said that her boyfriend really
[21:52] Speaker 3: wants her to go. That to me is a green flag.
[21:57] Speaker 3: The fact that he's not trying to hide you keep
[22:00] Speaker 3: you from this party. Imagine he tried to say no, no,
[22:03] Speaker 3: don't come to this party, and like that would be
[22:07] Speaker 3: even more annoying. I think I think you'd feel a
[22:09] Speaker 3: certain type of way if he didn't want you to
[22:10] Speaker 3: come to this party. The fact that he wants you
[22:12] Speaker 3: to come to this party, it's not gonna be about you.
[22:14] Speaker 3: You're not gonna make the mom feel weird because you've
[22:16] Speaker 3: never met you. Go, you be super nice, meet her,
[22:19] Speaker 3: and then be on your merry way, Like just be
[22:22] Speaker 3: a nice, fun guess at the party, don't make it
[22:24] Speaker 3: about you, and go and have a good time. I
[22:27] Speaker 3: don't think it's like I don't think it's setting a boundary.
[22:30] Speaker 3: I also don't think you need to rush into anything,
[22:32] Speaker 3: you know what I mean, especially if you think you're
[22:34] Speaker 3: gonna be with this guy for a long time, if
[22:36] Speaker 3: you're not ready and you're not comfortable. But I feel
[22:37] Speaker 3: like the fact that he wants you to go is
[22:39] Speaker 3: a green good sign.
[22:41] Speaker 2: I agree. I was gonna suggest because she said she
[22:43] Speaker 2: lives out of town. I don't know if it's like
[22:45] Speaker 2: they're driving for the day and then coming back. I
[22:48] Speaker 2: don't know such logistics, but I was thinking, I wonder
[22:51] Speaker 2: if they could set up a like go the day
[22:53] Speaker 2: before and they could go have dinner with his mom,
[22:57] Speaker 2: just so it doesn't feel like you're like meeting her
[22:59] Speaker 2: for the first time the party, you know what I'm saying, Or.
[23:01] Speaker 3: Even like a FaceTime or something.
[23:03] Speaker 2: Yeah, just something where you kind of get a sense
[23:05] Speaker 2: of getting like meeting each other before a party. But
[23:10] Speaker 2: I think even though I totally validate your hesitation and
[23:14] Speaker 2: like the things that you're listing out that would be uncomfortable,
[23:17] Speaker 2: But I think you just go. Don't feel pressure to
[23:20] Speaker 2: sit with his mom or entertain his mom. Just go
[23:22] Speaker 2: and be more of like a support for your boyfriend
[23:26] Speaker 2: that clearly wants you to be a part and don't
[23:29] Speaker 2: overthink the like meeting for the first time part of it.
[23:32] Speaker 4: Yeah.
[23:33] Speaker 2: And if you can make plans and go up a
[23:35] Speaker 2: little earlier the day before, maybe y'all can go have
[23:37] Speaker 2: dinner or you can go to the house just to
[23:39] Speaker 2: say hey, so that that that like initial ice breaker
[23:43] Speaker 2: moment is out before the party.
[23:45] Speaker 3: Yeah.
[23:46] Speaker 2: And if it is at the party, just go and
[23:48] Speaker 2: be like, I'm so happy to be here and I'm
[23:51] Speaker 2: I'm so happy to meet you on your birthday, Like
[23:54] Speaker 2: just be you.
[23:54] Speaker 3: Yeah, happy birthday. What can I get you to drink? Yeah,
[23:57] Speaker 3: let's take a shot together, breaks the ice. Yeah, I
[24:02] Speaker 3: don't drink.
[24:03] Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean read learn about her, learn about her
[24:06] Speaker 2: before you ask about the shot.
[24:07] Speaker 4: Yeah.
[24:08] Speaker 3: I think this is such a green flag and like
[24:10] Speaker 3: not a boundary that you need to set.
[24:13] Speaker 2: And you don't need his daughter's mom to like you.
[24:17] Speaker 2: It'd be great if she does, but I don't nothing
[24:20] Speaker 2: to prove to her. Just be nice. If she wants
[24:23] Speaker 2: to like you, great. If she already doesn't like if you,
[24:25] Speaker 2: if she already doesn't like.
[24:26] Speaker 3: You, No, she she didn't say that. He said she
[24:29] Speaker 3: probably won't.
[24:30] Speaker 2: I know, if it's already assumed, then don't have expected.
[24:34] Speaker 2: Just go in be yourself. Maybe I will hit it
[24:35] Speaker 2: off and it'll surprise everybody. And maybe he's right, maybe
[24:39] Speaker 2: she's just not easy, like maybe she's has a hard
[24:44] Speaker 2: time liking anyone that's new. I don't know.
[24:46] Speaker 3: That's not on you.
[24:48] Speaker 2: I think you go be you, be the star that
[24:50] Speaker 2: you are, and don't feel like you have to like
[24:53] Speaker 2: prove yourself totally because he wants you there.
[24:56] Speaker 3: Yeah, which is key. Yes, which we love, which we love.
[25:03] Speaker 3: I think we're gonna play the birthday game, but we're
[25:06] Speaker 3: gonna take a quick break before we play.
[25:09] Speaker 2: I love that you love playing the birthday birthday game.
[25:11] Speaker 2: You keep coming back for more because you rarely win.
[25:14] Speaker 1: You know, she did win recently when you weren't here,
[25:17] Speaker 1: So I'm not sure if it's that she rarely wins
[25:19] Speaker 1: or that you always win.
[25:21] Speaker 2: I get so lucky though, like I know, I just luck.
[25:24] Speaker 2: So I'm hoping luck is today. I have a feeling
[25:28] Speaker 2: today I pinch the monkey. Oh my god, here we go. Okay,
[25:32] Speaker 2: we'll be back with birthdays.
[25:50] Speaker 1: We're back. I've got here seven celebrities with a birthday
[25:57] Speaker 1: this week. M all right, we're gonna start with Tanya. Okay,
[26:05] Speaker 1: you'll give the agent, Becca will say hi, or Laura.
[26:07] Speaker 1: We'll go back and forth, and whoever gets the most
[26:09] Speaker 1: of the seven correct, is our winner. All right, Tanya,
[26:13] Speaker 1: we begin with you, and who's got a birthday this week?
[26:16] Speaker 1: Dakota Fanning has a birthday this week, and I'm asking
[26:18] Speaker 1: you how old is she turning this week? Tanya?
[26:21] Speaker 3: My god, is Dakota the older the younger?
[26:23] Speaker 1: Well, I can't answer that question.
[26:27] Speaker 3: I'm gonna say Dakota is turning twenty nine.
[26:30] Speaker 1: Twenty nine? Beca? Is she how older or younger? We'll
[26:33] Speaker 1: go that way.
[26:34] Speaker 2: Older.
[26:34] Speaker 1: She's thirty two, very nice. Becca is off to an
[26:36] Speaker 1: early lady, but I just know.
[26:39] Speaker 2: She's older than that.
[26:41] Speaker 3: Elle Fanning is the older one though, No, she's the
[26:43] Speaker 3: younger one.
[26:43] Speaker 1: Yeah, shoes, all right, Beca, this one's for you Emily Blunt.
[26:48] Speaker 1: What do you think about Emily Blunt? What a birthday
[26:50] Speaker 1: we're looking at there?
[26:51] Speaker 2: I'm going to guess Emily is.
[26:56] Speaker 1: Forty four, can turn forty four? That is incorrect. Tanya
[26:59] Speaker 1: is Emily Blunt old or younger than the forty four?
[27:02] Speaker 1: She is turning forty three? Now, Tanya, you should have
[27:10] Speaker 1: an advantage on this one. I think you dated him briefly.
[27:13] Speaker 1: Josh Grobin hardly.
[27:17] Speaker 3: I talked to him up, Yeah, yeah, brave brief.
[27:21] Speaker 1: Kind of did. That was the one where she she
[27:24] Speaker 1: crowdsourced all of her responses amongst the staff and got
[27:27] Speaker 1: a really nice back and forth going.
[27:29] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[27:29] Speaker 1: But the second she tried to on.
[27:31] Speaker 3: Her weekend, so I didn't have anybody around.
[27:34] Speaker 2: Happy Saturday, No, I can't remember.
[27:36] Speaker 1: That was Matthew Perry got Happy Saturday.
[27:38] Speaker 3: Yeah, but she.
[27:39] Speaker 1: Said something to him on her own without running it
[27:41] Speaker 1: by Dimitrio Sierrat. She never heard good.
[27:45] Speaker 2: Riddance, you know.
[27:47] Speaker 1: Yeah, how old is Josh Grobin turning this week?
[27:51] Speaker 3: Forty seven?
[27:53] Speaker 1: Okay, going forty seven? Older or younger? Becca?
[27:56] Speaker 2: Younger?
[27:56] Speaker 1: He is turning forty five? Right, Becca's off to it?
[28:00] Speaker 1: Three nothing lead We might have been going and see
[28:01] Speaker 1: if she gets a clean sweeper young book Josh gro Indeed, Becca,
[28:05] Speaker 1: Chelsea Handler has a birthday this week How old is
[28:07] Speaker 1: Chelsea Handler turning?
[28:10] Speaker 2: I think Chelsea Handler is turning fifty four?
[28:14] Speaker 1: Fifty four older or younger? Tanya younger, she's fifty one.
[28:20] Speaker 1: It's three to one. There could be a comeback of
[28:22] Speaker 1: bruin here because this kind of right in Tiny's wheelhouse, Tanya.
[28:26] Speaker 1: How old is Justin Bieber this weekend? The beebes has
[28:31] Speaker 1: a birthday on Sunday?
[28:32] Speaker 3: Okay, I know this because he is going to be
[28:41] Speaker 3: thirty three.
[28:42] Speaker 1: He is not going to be thirty three older or younger.
[28:45] Speaker 1: Re Becca for a pretty major steel here.
[28:47] Speaker 2: If you pull this off, I feel like he's younger.
[28:51] Speaker 1: He's turning thirty two years old. And Becca snakes Bieber
[28:55] Speaker 1: away from Tanya.
[28:56] Speaker 3: Because he's younger than Selena.
[29:01] Speaker 1: I got two more of you on him, four a lot?
[29:04] Speaker 2: Why not?
[29:04] Speaker 1: How old is Kesha turning this weekend? Becca?
[29:06] Speaker 2: Oh, Kesha? I would think that Kesha's thirty.
[29:10] Speaker 1: Six, thirty six older, younger, Tanya younger. She is turning
[29:13] Speaker 1: thirty nine five to one. And finally, how about Mark
[29:20] Speaker 1: Paul Gossler saved by the bell. Yes, he's Zach. How
[29:25] Speaker 1: old is he turning? This weekend?
[29:27] Speaker 3: Me my turn, here's your.
[29:28] Speaker 1: Turn, your last chance. Only you have one point, but
[29:32] Speaker 1: fifty fifty the big five? Oh is not the case
[29:35] Speaker 1: this weekend? Older or younger? Becca younger? Oh, he's fifty two.
[29:39] Speaker 1: This weekend gets one final score Becca five, Tanya two,
[29:44] Speaker 1: and she's taking it as a moral victory, pulling off
[29:46] Speaker 1: Mark Paul at the end.
[29:47] Speaker 2: There, good job, tom Age.
[29:50] Speaker 1: Yeah no you don't.
[29:52] Speaker 3: Yeah, damn, that's okay. Next time another loss.
[29:59] Speaker 2: Maybe you can lose the most and that's how you win,
[30:05] Speaker 2: chage it. You can be the worst at the game.
[30:10] Speaker 2: You can be the very worst, and that's how you
[30:12] Speaker 2: win it being the very worst.
[30:13] Speaker 3: When my comeback arc starts arcing, you're gonna be sorry.
[30:18] Speaker 3: I'm gonna be proud to say when I start, I'm
[30:22] Speaker 3: not only just gonna be guessing them right, I'm gonna
[30:24] Speaker 3: guess their ages correctly.
[30:26] Speaker 2: Just like not even.
[30:27] Speaker 3: Off the tip. Yeah.
[30:30] Speaker 2: I can't wait for that.
[30:31] Speaker 3: Thank you.
[30:32] Speaker 2: We are done for the day. But we love you
[30:35] Speaker 2: so much. Our love you, our episodes end, but our
[30:37] Speaker 2: love does not guess exactly. I hope you have a
[30:41] Speaker 2: wonderful weekend.
[30:43] Speaker 3: Yes, filled with love and cuddles and if you like
[30:47] Speaker 3: that really good television.
[30:51] Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, all the things. I'm We're in the Bahamas. Actually,
[30:55] Speaker 2: as we speak, we're in the Mamas.
[30:57] Speaker 3: That's right.
[30:58] Speaker 2: And and I've already been thinking about sharks a lot,
[31:02] Speaker 2: so just let you know my brain has been reeling.
[31:05] Speaker 2: I told Haley we can swim. It's more about her
[31:08] Speaker 2: because I stay in shallow waters, which I also know
[31:11] Speaker 2: sharks can get in shallow waters. But I tell her
[31:14] Speaker 2: that she just can't go deep, got it, Yeah, just
[31:18] Speaker 2: limitations on, but she doesn't listen, so then I'm just
[31:21] Speaker 2: left stressed.
[31:22] Speaker 3: I don't really liked submerging in water as of late,
[31:25] Speaker 3: so I'm not I'm not sure. Okay, ever since the
[31:29] Speaker 3: New Year, just being completely submerged underwater hasn't really sounded
[31:34] Speaker 3: appealing to me.
[31:35] Speaker 2: I think it really good. It's very cleansing, especially in
[31:38] Speaker 2: the ocean.
[31:39] Speaker 3: We'll see.
[31:39] Speaker 2: Yeah, we'll keep you posted on that if don is submergent,
[31:45] Speaker 2: because we're here with the hard hitting news that's scrubbing in.
[31:49] Speaker 2: We love you so much of a ga

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