# Dear Banya: Breaking Free

An episode of [Scrubbing In with Becca Tilley & Tanya Rad](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1279955329), 20 Nov 2025, 42 min.

Audio: https://podtrac.com/pts/redirect.mp3/arttrk.com/p/D5CA5/pdst.fm/e/pscrb.fm/rss/p/traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/009b23ef-9bd1-4caf-a592-ae3101631380/88cfda2c-4382-4577-96d4-b39b01382f5f/audio.mp3?utm_source=Podcast&in_playlist=7e804438-d6f3-48a0-9de8-ae310163138e

It’s time for another round of Dear Banya! What should you do when your family member is having an affair? And when should you stay together… for the kids? Plus, a Sabrina Carpenter date for Becca and Tanya, and Becca has a major revelation about her life! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

## Transcript

[0:00] Speaker 1: Scrubbing in with Beta Tilly and Tanya rad and iHeartRadio
[0:04] Speaker 1: and two time People's Choice Award winning podcast.
[0:09] Speaker 2: That's right, two times People's Choice Award winning podcast. Here, Hello, everybody, WHOA.
[0:15] Speaker 3: We really throw the people off with that intro.
[0:18] Speaker 2: That's why I could keep everybody on their toes like
[0:21] Speaker 2: a radio host, toesy news.
[0:24] Speaker 4: Like a professional radio host. Intro was giving Ryan Seacrest.
[0:27] Speaker 4: That's right, Annie Seacrest, thank you.
[0:29] Speaker 5: We got podcast right here for you, buddy.
[0:35] Speaker 3: I was giving auctioneer nice. Sure, how you doing do
[0:41] Speaker 3: a great?
[0:41] Speaker 2: Can't wait for a date night?
[0:43] Speaker 4: Same, We're heading to the Subarina Carpenter concert tonight.
[0:48] Speaker 2: That's right.
[0:49] Speaker 3: Short and sweet, Short and sweet. She is so short
[0:51] Speaker 3: and sweet.
[0:52] Speaker 2: She's like a pollypocket she is.
[0:54] Speaker 3: It's so I wish that they did a live action pollpocket.
[0:57] Speaker 2: They have to use her. I agree.
[1:00] Speaker 6: Do you see the photos of her and Taylor out
[1:01] Speaker 6: in New York and she's.
[1:02] Speaker 3: Like the edits of it?
[1:05] Speaker 4: Like I was having I can't remember what happened, but
[1:08] Speaker 4: I was just feeling down one day and I would
[1:10] Speaker 4: just go look at that picture and I'd bring me.
[1:12] Speaker 2: Back happiness and joy because.
[1:14] Speaker 3: She's so cute, and Taylor looks so tall in that photo.
[1:18] Speaker 6: I saw people posting this is lady Gita.
[1:22] Speaker 2: I don't get it.
[1:23] Speaker 6: It's a tiny picture of lady.
[1:27] Speaker 2: I don't get the Internet sometimes.
[1:29] Speaker 3: Dona's response to things that's like, so it really is
[1:33] Speaker 3: just being chronically online and shold me that I don't
[1:35] Speaker 3: get it, and I'm.
[1:35] Speaker 4: Like, go away, Yeah, let me just be silly, and
[1:42] Speaker 4: it doesn't need to be gotten.
[1:44] Speaker 2: Clearly it needs to be gotten.
[1:45] Speaker 4: No, it's just tiny little Sabrina being cute and polly
[1:48] Speaker 4: pocket and then Taylor.
[1:49] Speaker 3: Being already tall and wearing the tallest deals.
[1:52] Speaker 2: I didn't understand. I now do because you forced me
[1:55] Speaker 2: to go, like, understand, Julie is not.
[2:00] Speaker 3: I didn't say anything. Yeah, so that's okay. Yeah, you
[2:04] Speaker 3: said I don't understand. I said that's okay.
[2:06] Speaker 2: But it's not okay because then I feel left out.
[2:10] Speaker 2: Well I can't fix that.
[2:14] Speaker 4: I can't fix that part because I wish I was a.
[2:17] Speaker 2: Little left out.
[2:19] Speaker 3: Yeah, I wish I was kind of left out from
[2:21] Speaker 3: chronically online.
[2:22] Speaker 4: You know.
[2:22] Speaker 2: I'm actually, let's check back in January and see if
[2:26] Speaker 2: you actually do this, But because a lot of December,
[2:29] Speaker 2: I'm going to be taking off. I want to put
[2:33] Speaker 2: a time limit on my phone of like how much
[2:36] Speaker 2: I can be on social media a day. And I'm
[2:40] Speaker 2: going to give myself forty five minutes a day. WHOA,
[2:43] Speaker 2: that feels like nothing.
[2:45] Speaker 3: It is nothing.
[2:46] Speaker 4: One.
[2:46] Speaker 3: That's one session for me.
[2:49] Speaker 2: How many sessions a day do you have multiple?
[2:52] Speaker 6: I have the thing on Instagram where like at an hour,
[2:54] Speaker 6: it says like that's enough for today, Oh wow, and
[2:56] Speaker 6: I hit fifteen more or forget it for the day.
[3:01] Speaker 2: I need to get that. Is that an app?
[3:03] Speaker 6: No, it's on your phone, the Instagram app.
[3:06] Speaker 5: Yeah.
[3:07] Speaker 4: I had it just in my settings on my phone
[3:09] Speaker 4: and I hit ignore basically every it was like snooze.
[3:12] Speaker 4: I was snoozing my alert. Yeah, but you should get
[3:16] Speaker 4: the Brick. I've already told you about the Brick. It's
[3:19] Speaker 4: like a thing that you put on your phone and
[3:21] Speaker 4: it like locks it until it's just more.
[3:24] Speaker 3: It's more.
[3:25] Speaker 2: I want to be able to engage with my text messaging.
[3:28] Speaker 3: Yeah you can.
[3:29] Speaker 4: You can engage with your text messaging with the Brick.
[3:32] Speaker 4: You can choose what apps you want.
[3:35] Speaker 3: Okay, okay, yeah, so it's like your choice.
[3:37] Speaker 4: If you're going, hey, I'm noticing I'm spending a lot
[3:40] Speaker 4: of time on Instagram. I'm going to put the brick
[3:42] Speaker 4: to where I have a certain set time for that.
[3:45] Speaker 1: Got it?
[3:45] Speaker 2: Okay? Yeah, yeah, So that's a little bit about my
[3:48] Speaker 2: goals for de summer. Thank Yeah.
[3:52] Speaker 3: You can do hard things.
[3:53] Speaker 2: Thank you? Well, can we all can? Oh? Yes, Well,
[4:01] Speaker 2: I was just thinking, like Thanksgiving is next week, and
[4:04] Speaker 2: then basically before you know, it's Hanuka, it's Christmas, it's
[4:06] Speaker 2: the new year. This is the time of year where
[4:09] Speaker 2: we start like vision boarding, picking our words of the year,
[4:13] Speaker 2: like all that stuff. Maybe we do that for the
[4:15] Speaker 2: podcast in December.
[4:17] Speaker 3: Which is what we typically do.
[4:19] Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's now the time start thinking about it
[4:21] Speaker 2: in brainstorming.
[4:21] Speaker 3: Thank you for the heads up.
[4:24] Speaker 2: No problem.
[4:25] Speaker 4: Haley has this thing where she goes, she if it's
[4:28] Speaker 4: in her calendar, she is like, I'm gonna do it.
[4:31] Speaker 4: So she'll go, you should just put that in your calendar,
[4:34] Speaker 4: and I go, that does not do anything for my
[4:37] Speaker 4: calendar's empty, because I'm like, what I'm just if it's
[4:42] Speaker 4: like She'll go, if I put a workout at a
[4:44] Speaker 4: certain time in my calendar, then I'll if it's in
[4:47] Speaker 4: my calendar, I'll do it.
[4:48] Speaker 3: Yeah, same, yeah, and I'm like I just go, h, well,
[4:52] Speaker 3: the time.
[4:53] Speaker 2: Passed, Like if I there's like, let's say the weekend
[4:57] Speaker 2: goes by, and oh, there's a couple of emails that
[4:59] Speaker 2: I want to have, like her priority to me, like,
[5:01] Speaker 2: I'll put them in my calendar for Monday morning so
[5:03] Speaker 2: that I remember to like respond to these people Monday morning,
[5:06] Speaker 2: and I'll do it.
[5:07] Speaker 3: Yeah, you don't have that nothing. I don't know. I
[5:11] Speaker 3: need some meds or something. I don't know. Something's wrong,
[5:16] Speaker 3: something's not going on in here.
[5:18] Speaker 2: Interesting, Hayley tried to get me.
[5:22] Speaker 4: I felt like a child whose parent was trying to
[5:25] Speaker 4: wrangle them yesterday because she was really trying to clear
[5:29] Speaker 4: out this junk room because when we moved everything from
[5:31] Speaker 4: the garage for the construction, I just went into this
[5:35] Speaker 4: I call it the chaos room, and she wanted to
[5:38] Speaker 4: clear it out, and I was all before yesterday. I
[5:41] Speaker 4: was like, yeah, let's do it on Sunday. And then
[5:43] Speaker 4: the time came and I was like I just don't
[5:45] Speaker 4: want to.
[5:46] Speaker 3: I have more laying to do. I just it doesn't
[5:50] Speaker 3: feel right.
[5:51] Speaker 4: And she was like, Babe, we have to get this
[5:55] Speaker 4: done and you have to go through things. I can't
[5:57] Speaker 4: do it on my own, so she had to wrangled me.
[6:00] Speaker 3: You did it.
[6:01] Speaker 4: I did it nice, but I got distracted and I
[6:04] Speaker 4: was like clearing out the air filter and then I
[6:06] Speaker 4: was folding laundry, so I was doing productive things. Just
[6:09] Speaker 4: I didn't want to do that. And I have this
[6:11] Speaker 4: thing about not wanting to be told what to do.
[6:14] Speaker 5: Including your calendar telling you what to do.
[6:16] Speaker 3: I think there's something I think what is that though?
[6:19] Speaker 2: Is there maybe your whole life you were told what
[6:21] Speaker 2: to do and now you're like rebelling.
[6:22] Speaker 3: Breaking free. Yeah, we're breaking free.
[6:25] Speaker 2: Yeah. It was Soman fine.
[6:29] Speaker 3: In There's not a sovereign Heaven that we cambreach.
[6:37] Speaker 2: High School Musical, Ah, yes, I never watched it.
[6:40] Speaker 6: That's the only song I know from it.
[6:41] Speaker 5: I haven't seen.
[6:43] Speaker 4: I would say, y'all are missing out. I would also
[6:46] Speaker 4: say high School Musical three is cinema.
[6:49] Speaker 2: I feel like I passed the mark of it, do
[6:51] Speaker 2: you know what I mean? Like, I feel like I'm so.
[6:52] Speaker 3: Far past No, you're not. Sometimes I'll just put it
[6:55] Speaker 3: on really. Yeah. That and the Hannah Montana.
[6:58] Speaker 6: Movie, Oh We're Talking.
[7:00] Speaker 4: And Lizzie McGuire movie, which, by the way, my initial
[7:06] Speaker 4: response to mature was just kind of like it's I
[7:09] Speaker 4: like it.
[7:09] Speaker 3: It's fun boppy, but I'm really into.
[7:11] Speaker 2: It now so good. It's like a certified bop.
[7:14] Speaker 4: Maybe that's also something with controls. People telling me that
[7:17] Speaker 4: it's amazing, but I need to decide for myself.
[7:20] Speaker 5: Yeah, you should talk.
[7:23] Speaker 2: I think there's something there.
[7:25] Speaker 5: The way Hilary Duff on it with Running Seacrest tomorrow
[7:27] Speaker 5: morning at o'clock.
[7:28] Speaker 3: Thank you for that pluck.
[7:29] Speaker 2: Yeah, do you plug the scrubbing in podcast? I have owls.
[7:32] Speaker 3: Oh, I'm gonna guess.
[7:34] Speaker 5: No, I'm not on any other shows.
[7:37] Speaker 2: We'll get all them.
[7:39] Speaker 3: Yeah, well you're you know.
[7:41] Speaker 4: I like to take responsibility in the fact that you
[7:43] Speaker 4: not not me personally, but scrubbing in.
[7:46] Speaker 3: That people aren't.
[7:48] Speaker 4: Your bands are scrubbing in people, and they follow you
[7:51] Speaker 4: wherever you go, like they listen to other podcasts that
[7:54] Speaker 4: you were on, but they're originally from scrubbing in.
[7:57] Speaker 6: Every time I talk about Gilmore Girl's fashion on I
[7:59] Speaker 6: Am In, I talked about scrubbing in vas.
[8:01] Speaker 4: Yeah for that, that's right, fashion, scrubbing in collabo styles.
[8:08] Speaker 6: You want to hear talking about the fashion of Gilmore girls,
[8:10] Speaker 6: that's it? Why I don't know.
[8:13] Speaker 3: Thank you for your service. I didn't know that was
[8:15] Speaker 3: a market that was missing.
[8:17] Speaker 5: It's a market, baby, you gotta find the whole. And
[8:20] Speaker 5: you found it.
[8:20] Speaker 6: Yeah, found your Nie place kicking and screaming into that hole.
[8:28] Speaker 4: We do have some dear Bondia today real that is
[8:31] Speaker 4: for real.
[8:32] Speaker 2: Gilmore Girls Fashion podcast.
[8:34] Speaker 6: It is a Gilmore Girl's fashion podcast host hosted by me.
[8:37] Speaker 6: You know who My guest is Nobody. I'm alone. I speak,
[8:44] Speaker 6: I love I hurry so much. I love this job,
[8:46] Speaker 6: but I speak uninterrupted for fifteen minutes.
[8:49] Speaker 2: Why would you be the first to talk about Gilmore
[8:51] Speaker 2: Girls fashion respectfully?
[8:52] Speaker 6: Well, I have a fashion background. I love Gilmore Girls.
[8:58] Speaker 6: There's many of the things that are not true.
[9:00] Speaker 3: This is crazy, crazy information, really crazy.
[9:05] Speaker 4: Every Thursday morning, did you watch Gilmore Girls.
[9:09] Speaker 6: I'm watching it now.
[9:11] Speaker 3: To recap the fashion, just the fashion.
[9:14] Speaker 6: I watch the episode, I go through and I talk about.
[9:17] Speaker 2: Literally like me talking about a soprano's like cigar lines
[9:21] Speaker 2: every week or something like having a cigar podcast.
[9:24] Speaker 5: Very like that is very very good.
[9:28] Speaker 6: I'm gonna talk about this because I truly don the game.
[9:30] Speaker 6: Was listening to it so like, I don't think, but
[9:32] Speaker 6: it's so funny because I don't know anything about fashion.
[9:34] Speaker 6: I do not. I'm colorblind too. That's the other thing
[9:36] Speaker 6: I'm going through, going like, man, there's a part at
[9:39] Speaker 6: the town meeting Laura is She's wearing a brown shirt
[9:45] Speaker 6: and it looks cool.
[9:49] Speaker 5: This is it? People text you and say, it's a
[9:51] Speaker 5: purple shirt.
[9:53] Speaker 6: Actually, you know, because of this show, I got an
[9:54] Speaker 6: app that where I can point at my screen tells
[9:56] Speaker 6: me what color it is, because or because I'm sick
[9:58] Speaker 6: of asking Al's and what color the thing is. But
[10:01] Speaker 6: I also don't know how to talk about the fashion.
[10:03] Speaker 2: I don't know fashion.
[10:05] Speaker 6: I'm not a fashion guy. But I'm doing the damn
[10:09] Speaker 6: show and I've been doing it for a few months.
[10:10] Speaker 5: That scrubbers. You gotta do it as a favorite. You
[10:13] Speaker 5: gotta go down the numbers skyrocket. It will be so funny.
[10:18] Speaker 4: Is that the only time you're shouting out to grubbing
[10:20] Speaker 4: in is on that show.
[10:23] Speaker 2: That's messed up.
[10:25] Speaker 6: That's not the only time, but that's the most regular
[10:27] Speaker 6: time I am on the air.
[10:29] Speaker 5: Go listen to that and just let it run on
[10:31] Speaker 5: a loop and put your phone away drawer just to
[10:33] Speaker 5: get his numbers up.
[10:34] Speaker 6: Come on because I'm getting the same down as as
[10:36] Speaker 6: everyone else on that channel. I want to get.
[10:39] Speaker 2: That number.
[10:40] Speaker 5: Well, I should talk about that.
[10:43] Speaker 6: They're in the many hundreds of thousand.
[10:46] Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, that really was unexpected today.
[10:49] Speaker 4: Yeah, so we get to let's decompress on that info.
[10:54] Speaker 5: Well, let's take a break before the first one will
[10:56] Speaker 5: tease it? How about this? How about this for a tease?
[10:59] Speaker 5: How do I support my sister's affair but you don't?
[11:04] Speaker 2: What are you gonna do? He's having an affair. We'll
[11:07] Speaker 2: talk about it, Okay, after this.
[11:28] Speaker 4: All right, we are back after finding out that Easton
[11:32] Speaker 4: is a fashion podcast host.
[11:35] Speaker 6: That's right. You know. Actually, if you are watching season
[11:39] Speaker 6: one of Gilmore Girls, episode ten where they go to
[11:41] Speaker 6: a Christmas party, Rory's wearing a vintage visiting that is
[11:46] Speaker 6: it pops up on deep hop and eBay from time
[11:48] Speaker 6: to time.
[11:48] Speaker 2: They're also color blind, know what about you?
[11:53] Speaker 1: A layer? I just don't.
[12:09] Speaker 3: Honestly, that's such a smart act.
[12:12] Speaker 6: It's called color blind pal in case anyone else out
[12:14] Speaker 6: there suffers from the same ailment.
[12:16] Speaker 3: Honestly, Yeah, I'm not trying to make a joke. I
[12:18] Speaker 3: hope you know.
[12:18] Speaker 2: I'm not trying to make a joke of your color
[12:21] Speaker 2: my disability. But like it's just so whoa, that's really cool.
[12:28] Speaker 6: It uses your camera and like point you just point
[12:31] Speaker 6: out something and it'll tell you.
[12:32] Speaker 3: This happened on your nose. Do you want to know
[12:34] Speaker 3: what it says? Faint orange? Shut up?
[12:40] Speaker 2: That is not orange.
[12:43] Speaker 3: I'm just a colored blind pal.
[12:45] Speaker 6: Color blind pal says it's orange.
[12:48] Speaker 2: Oh man, I hope you know I'm not making fun
[12:52] Speaker 2: of you.
[12:52] Speaker 6: I do not at all. Okay, this is I feel
[12:55] Speaker 6: the exact same way.
[12:58] Speaker 4: Yeah, that's crazy. This is also crazy. Our first dear bonnet.
[13:02] Speaker 5: Okay from anonymous Dear scrub squad Becatania Market, Eastern. That
[13:07] Speaker 5: seems to be the default order right there. I could
[13:10] Speaker 5: really use your advice. In late twenty twenty three, and
[13:12] Speaker 5: my sister went on a dating app even though she
[13:14] Speaker 5: was married. She ended up meeting a married guy and
[13:17] Speaker 5: they had an affair for about nine months till her
[13:19] Speaker 5: husband found out. My sister and her husband tried to
[13:21] Speaker 5: work things out. It did not last. They are almost divorced.
[13:24] Speaker 5: Recently she told me she and the guy she had
[13:26] Speaker 5: the affair with have reconnected. He's now recently divorced as well.
[13:30] Speaker 5: And they've started a real relationship. She is thirty five,
[13:33] Speaker 5: he is fifty six. Normally, age gaps don't bother me,
[13:37] Speaker 5: but with everything that's happened, this one really does. My
[13:39] Speaker 5: husband and I have two little kids, four and one,
[13:41] Speaker 5: and we're honestly struggling to process at all. We're worried
[13:44] Speaker 5: about what happens if things get serious she starts bringing
[13:47] Speaker 5: them around. My sister also wants kids, but she's admitted
[13:50] Speaker 5: that if she stays with him, that's probably not going
[13:52] Speaker 5: to happen. What makes this even harder is that our
[13:54] Speaker 5: mom was cheated on and divorced our dads. It really
[13:57] Speaker 5: hurts all of us that my sister would do this
[13:59] Speaker 5: after see what our mom went through. I love my
[14:01] Speaker 5: sitters so much, but I'm torn. I'm scared that if
[14:04] Speaker 5: I don't support this, I'll lose her. But it's hard
[14:06] Speaker 5: to watch her make these choices. I wouldn't normally be
[14:08] Speaker 5: won to write in for advice, but she's only told me,
[14:11] Speaker 5: my husband and our mom so far. I just don't
[14:13] Speaker 5: know what to do with all of it. How do
[14:15] Speaker 5: I support her without feeling like I'm agreeing to what
[14:17] Speaker 5: she's doing? Or do I just need to accept it
[14:18] Speaker 5: and hope for the best. Thank you all, and thanks
[14:21] Speaker 5: in advance Anonymous and Day one scrubber ps. Your podcast
[14:25] Speaker 5: has gotten me through so many rough newborn nights. Sending
[14:28] Speaker 5: baby dust to you. Tanya.
[14:33] Speaker 4: This is interesting because the only thing she mentions about him,
[14:36] Speaker 4: aside from the fact that he also was married when
[14:39] Speaker 4: they had the affair, is that he's fifty six. But
[14:43] Speaker 4: she doesn't really talk about anything personality wise.
[14:46] Speaker 3: So I'm trying to figure.
[14:46] Speaker 2: Out she doesn't like him because creepy. I think it's
[14:49] Speaker 2: his character that he also was cheating on his.
[14:53] Speaker 4: Marriage, right, But I guess if you're fine with your
[14:56] Speaker 4: sister being around your kids and she did the same thing,
[15:00] Speaker 4: you know what I'm saying.
[15:01] Speaker 2: I don't think she is. I don't think she I.
[15:03] Speaker 4: Think she's fine with her sister. She doesn't want to
[15:05] Speaker 4: hit her bring somebody else. So without having context of
[15:09] Speaker 4: why she doesn't like him other than we just know
[15:12] Speaker 4: he's fifty six and she did on his wife. But
[15:16] Speaker 4: I the thing about this is that you don't have
[15:19] Speaker 4: to like what they did, and you don't have to
[15:20] Speaker 4: agree with what they did. But if you love your
[15:23] Speaker 4: sister and you want a relationship with her, and this
[15:25] Speaker 4: is the choice that she's making, then I think that
[15:27] Speaker 4: you be around her. But if you're if there's something
[15:31] Speaker 4: that makes you feel weird about having him around your kids,
[15:35] Speaker 4: then just make sure he's super like make sure that
[15:39] Speaker 4: they're not alone with him, you know what I'm saying.
[15:41] Speaker 2: Yeah, again, without any context about the guy being like
[15:43] Speaker 2: creepy or anything like that. I feel that you can't
[15:48] Speaker 2: punish your sister for the choices she made. Like she's
[15:51] Speaker 2: in her she's living in her choices, you know what
[15:54] Speaker 2: I mean. Like she's already dealing with the backlash of
[15:57] Speaker 2: having an affair, breaking up her family, all the things.
[16:00] Speaker 2: So I feel like you can't really well, I mean,
[16:05] Speaker 2: if you do anything.
[16:06] Speaker 4: If you want to have a relationship with your sister,
[16:07] Speaker 4: I think you have to like get to a point
[16:12] Speaker 4: where you accept that that's the choice that she's making
[16:15] Speaker 4: and you don't have to agree with it.
[16:16] Speaker 2: But she's she's saying it's super sensitive because her mom
[16:19] Speaker 2: got cheated on, so she suset and I understand all
[16:22] Speaker 2: those things, but also you can't.
[16:25] Speaker 4: And I think it's if you and your sister are clothes,
[16:28] Speaker 4: I think it's even worth having a conversation being like,
[16:30] Speaker 4: I want to be there for you and I want
[16:32] Speaker 4: to support you in the choices you make, but I
[16:34] Speaker 4: am having a really hard time because we watched Mom
[16:37] Speaker 4: go through this and we know how hurtful it was,
[16:40] Speaker 4: and I'm I'm struggling to make sense of it and
[16:44] Speaker 4: accept it. And I just wanted to be upfront and
[16:46] Speaker 4: honest with you. But I love you, and I you
[16:48] Speaker 4: know you're my sister. Yeah, but I don't think that
[16:52] Speaker 4: you have to support her affair or you know, they're
[16:56] Speaker 4: both a divorce now so it's better now than it
[16:59] Speaker 4: was before or Yeah, and unless he's doing something that's
[17:03] Speaker 4: like super creepy or puts anyone in danger, I think
[17:08] Speaker 4: maybe you give give him a chance to see maybe
[17:13] Speaker 4: why your sister went through all that to be with him.
[17:16] Speaker 2: Yeah, Which I get it.
[17:18] Speaker 3: It's hard, it's it's not like an easy thing.
[17:20] Speaker 4: But I just I think you want to have a
[17:22] Speaker 4: relationship with your sister, and I also think that you
[17:24] Speaker 4: can't control what she does. And I think if you
[17:26] Speaker 4: say he's not invited, he's not welcome in our home,
[17:30] Speaker 4: you're gonna lose.
[17:31] Speaker 3: Your relationship with your sister. So I guess am.
[17:33] Speaker 4: Picking out choosing what is gonna, you know, be be
[17:39] Speaker 4: the best for you and your family. But also your
[17:42] Speaker 4: relationship with your sister is gonna you know, either it's
[17:47] Speaker 4: either gonna thrive and you're gonna learn to love her
[17:50] Speaker 4: in spite of her decisions, despite despite yeah I said
[17:56] Speaker 4: despite despite.
[17:57] Speaker 3: Her decisions, or you who don't have a close relationship with.
[18:02] Speaker 5: Her agreed, and your kids are gonna be fine. That's
[18:06] Speaker 5: just who Auntie Louise is dating. Okay, so her boyfriend.
[18:10] Speaker 5: The kids don't care. Yeah, ah, this is from Demi
[18:14] Speaker 5: or perhaps to me. I don't know and never will know.
[18:17] Speaker 5: She's a very defeated scrubber, though she says, Hi friends,
[18:20] Speaker 5: Day one listener, and my love for you all grows
[18:22] Speaker 5: every episode. You're the only podcast I listened to religiously
[18:25] Speaker 5: every week the day it comes out. You hear it
[18:26] Speaker 5: all the time, but I feel like you are truly
[18:28] Speaker 5: my friends, all four of you. I'm thirty three. When
[18:31] Speaker 5: I was thirty one, I met someone who I really
[18:33] Speaker 5: thought was the one. For six months, things were amazing.
[18:35] Speaker 5: We were long distance, two and a half hours apart,
[18:38] Speaker 5: but it felt like we had found our home in
[18:40] Speaker 5: each other. And then things got rocky. Right around the
[18:42] Speaker 5: time I was thinking about ending it, I got pregnant,
[18:45] Speaker 5: and it's been even more rocky. I said most of
[18:47] Speaker 5: my pregnancy depressed, wondering if I was making a mistake,
[18:50] Speaker 5: if I should do this as a single mom. When
[18:51] Speaker 5: I was seven months pregnant, he proposed. I said yes
[18:55] Speaker 5: because I loved him and I wanted to make a
[18:57] Speaker 5: family work, but also because I felt like I couldn't
[18:59] Speaker 5: say no. After my baby was born, I left my job,
[19:02] Speaker 5: which I loved, and moved to where he lives. I
[19:04] Speaker 5: uprooted everything, and now I'm not sure we should even
[19:07] Speaker 5: be together. We have good days, but just as many
[19:09] Speaker 5: bad ones. Every time we hit a new stage, I
[19:11] Speaker 5: tell myself things will get better, and they never do.
[19:13] Speaker 5: I love him, but I don't know if I've ever
[19:15] Speaker 5: been in love with him. We're so different in our
[19:18] Speaker 5: love language, his attachment styles, how we communicate, what we prioritize.
[19:22] Speaker 5: He drinks a lot, even at home with our baby.
[19:24] Speaker 5: It makes me wonder if he's unhappy too. He says
[19:26] Speaker 5: he loves me, he wants us to work, but I
[19:27] Speaker 5: feel alone even when he's right next to me. We
[19:30] Speaker 5: are not connecting. My baby is fourteen months old, and
[19:33] Speaker 5: I still don't know what to do. If a friend
[19:35] Speaker 5: told me this, I'd say, you only get one life.
[19:37] Speaker 5: You deserve to feel loved and excited every day. But
[19:40] Speaker 5: when you're a mom, you'll do anything to keep your
[19:42] Speaker 5: family together. And part of me thinks we could have
[19:44] Speaker 5: a good life. But when I hear the way Becket
[19:46] Speaker 5: talks about Haley or the way Tanya talks about Robbie,
[19:49] Speaker 5: I've never felt that way about him. So I'm torn
[19:52] Speaker 5: between staying and hoping love grows, or leaving and starting over,
[19:55] Speaker 5: leaving me and shared custody, missing time with my baby,
[19:58] Speaker 5: splitting holidays, rebuilding from s Do I love my baby
[20:02] Speaker 5: enough to accept a relationship that doesn't feel like that big,
[20:05] Speaker 5: deep love right now? Can that kind of love grow
[20:07] Speaker 5: if you nurture it? I would love your input. Love
[20:10] Speaker 5: to me or DEMI a very defeated scrubber boy. That
[20:13] Speaker 5: is a tough email.
[20:18] Speaker 2: I'm gonna shoot it to you straight because I think
[20:21] Speaker 2: you said it already to yourself. If this was a
[20:24] Speaker 2: friend coming to me with this situation, I would tell
[20:27] Speaker 2: them to leave. And I think that that's what you
[20:30] Speaker 2: know deep down that you should do, because here's the thing. Yes,
[20:34] Speaker 2: you will have to split custody. So it does mean
[20:37] Speaker 2: missing time with your baby one hundred percent. It does
[20:40] Speaker 2: mean splitting the holidays. It does mean rebuilding everything from scratch.
[20:44] Speaker 2: But you have so much life ahead of you, and
[20:47] Speaker 2: kids are so resilient. What you have control over is
[20:51] Speaker 2: if you split up, you can still make it doesn't
[20:54] Speaker 2: have to be a nasty split up. You can try
[20:57] Speaker 2: and make that as cordial and as good as you
[20:58] Speaker 2: possibly can, and then you can have a very happy
[21:02] Speaker 2: and loving home for that time that you do get
[21:05] Speaker 2: to have your baby with you, and you can also
[21:08] Speaker 2: have that love and that relationship and those experiences for
[21:11] Speaker 2: yourself too, because eventually your baby's gonna grow up. Your
[21:14] Speaker 2: baby's gonna turn eighteen. And I mean, I don't know,
[21:16] Speaker 2: but like probably want nothing to do with you, you know,
[21:19] Speaker 2: like not want nothing to do with you. But their
[21:22] Speaker 2: kids grow up, they build their own lives, they leave
[21:24] Speaker 2: the house, they leave the house, and then what you're
[21:26] Speaker 2: just left with this guy that you don't like.
[21:30] Speaker 4: That's what I was gonna say the same thing too,
[21:32] Speaker 4: Like your child is gonna grow up and they're gonna
[21:36] Speaker 4: did he say?
[21:36] Speaker 3: She hears?
[21:37] Speaker 2: She she said baby. So I'm just gonna the baby.
[21:39] Speaker 3: Is going to grow up and become an adult.
[21:41] Speaker 4: And then, like, let's say you're still in the same
[21:45] Speaker 4: mindset that you're in now, and you go through eighteen
[21:47] Speaker 4: years of raising this child with this man that you're
[21:50] Speaker 4: just tolerating, and then the the baby leaves the house,
[21:55] Speaker 4: are you instantly gonna say, I'm gonna go live my
[21:58] Speaker 4: life and find the love that I've always wanted. Are
[22:00] Speaker 4: you going to wait eighteen years, seventeen years to go
[22:05] Speaker 4: after the love and find the love and that you
[22:07] Speaker 4: deserve and have always wanted. Because I think if you're
[22:10] Speaker 4: having a tough time and you're in a relationship where
[22:12] Speaker 4: y'all are not connecting, you don't know each other's love languages,
[22:15] Speaker 4: you don't feel seen, the baby is going to become
[22:19] Speaker 4: a perceptive child who is going to feel the lack
[22:22] Speaker 4: of connection and love in the home. So I'm I'm
[22:26] Speaker 4: all for keeping the family together and fighting through hard times,
[22:30] Speaker 4: but if it's just always hard.
[22:32] Speaker 2: Yeah, it seems fifty to fifty, which feels.
[22:34] Speaker 3: Like, I mean, my thing is, can you nurture a relationship? Sure?
[22:39] Speaker 4: I think so, I think you can nurture I think
[22:41] Speaker 4: you can go to couple therapy. I think you can
[22:43] Speaker 4: find ways to connect in levels that you don't connect on,
[22:47] Speaker 4: like maybe you find things that you have similar and
[22:49] Speaker 4: common interest in.
[22:51] Speaker 3: But I also just don't think that if.
[22:54] Speaker 4: Your whole life, like if your whole life of raising
[22:57] Speaker 4: this child, is you going, should I stay?
[22:59] Speaker 3: Should I go?
[23:00] Speaker 4: Like, you just have to make the decision. Either you're
[23:02] Speaker 4: going to commit and you're going to water the relationship
[23:05] Speaker 4: and nurture it, or you're gonna do what's best for
[23:10] Speaker 4: you and ultimately the baby right now and get out
[23:13] Speaker 4: of that relationship.
[23:14] Speaker 3: Yeah, what do you think, Mark, I don't know.
[23:18] Speaker 5: It's really difficult because you know a lot of women
[23:22] Speaker 5: stay in these situations because they can't imagine, you know,
[23:26] Speaker 5: say she splits up with this guy, this guy's going
[23:28] Speaker 5: to find someone else. Someday suddenly that new random woman's
[23:33] Speaker 5: going to have a maternal relationship with her baby. Like
[23:35] Speaker 5: that's one of those things that's very difficult. And I
[23:37] Speaker 5: get how difficult that is, But it seems to me
[23:41] Speaker 5: that you want to envision your life in five years.
[23:44] Speaker 5: You know, I've given that advice one hundred times on
[23:46] Speaker 5: this show, And imagine your life in five years with
[23:49] Speaker 5: him by your side and your baby now five six
[23:51] Speaker 5: years old, and without him, can you get your old
[23:54] Speaker 5: job back? Are you doing that? Are you making things happen?
[23:57] Speaker 5: You're a single mom doing it? Like you know, I
[23:59] Speaker 5: think that's sounds more appealing to you right now, and
[24:01] Speaker 5: so maybe you can get past that other stuff. I
[24:03] Speaker 5: don't know. I'm very torn on this when I go
[24:05] Speaker 5: back and forth, but I think you just got to
[24:06] Speaker 5: envision what your future is like with him and your
[24:08] Speaker 5: future without him, because you know, I'm We're an empty
[24:12] Speaker 5: nester fairly soon, and I'm very not excited about that
[24:16] Speaker 5: because it's going to be sad to see them go.
[24:18] Speaker 5: But that reconnection with my wife and that connection we
[24:20] Speaker 5: had before we had kids, I really am looking forward
[24:23] Speaker 5: to that. I'm looking forward to just being the two
[24:25] Speaker 5: of us and we can do whatever we want to do.
[24:26] Speaker 5: That's exciting. So if you don't have that excitement in
[24:29] Speaker 5: your mind, then yeah, maybe it's time to head back
[24:31] Speaker 5: to your old where you used to live.
[24:34] Speaker 4: Yeah, Like if being alone once the baby is gone,
[24:38] Speaker 4: if being alone is more daunting than exciting, like the
[24:42] Speaker 4: thought of, like, oh, one day we're going to get
[24:44] Speaker 4: back to who we were before having a baby and
[24:46] Speaker 4: our connection. If that feels more like a horror film
[24:50] Speaker 4: then a romance rom com, I would just I.
[24:56] Speaker 3: Would cut the cord now. Yeah, But then there's a
[25:00] Speaker 3: they're part of me that feels like she didn't say
[25:02] Speaker 3: it's all bad, right, and I feel like thirteen months
[25:06] Speaker 3: those are that's probably the hardest year. Yes, I hear
[25:09] Speaker 3: everyone say the.
[25:10] Speaker 4: First year having a baby is like you're adjusting to
[25:14] Speaker 4: so much, and like your relationship goes through it because
[25:16] Speaker 4: this baby has entered and that becomes their whole world.
[25:19] Speaker 4: And I'm like, do you wait till you're out of
[25:23] Speaker 4: the thick of.
[25:25] Speaker 3: Newborn?
[25:26] Speaker 5: I think the couple's counseling idea is an interesting thought
[25:29] Speaker 5: because maybe there is something there that you guys can find. Yeah,
[25:32] Speaker 5: and maybe you give yourself a deadline.
[25:33] Speaker 2: Let's try this for right, maybe by the time the
[25:35] Speaker 2: kid's three, and maybe you'd revisit the situation.
[25:39] Speaker 3: And like put put like actual action items to work.
[25:43] Speaker 2: It notunds like she does want to do that, But
[25:45] Speaker 2: it takes two to tango, so we don't know if
[25:47] Speaker 2: this guy is also down for the task.
[25:48] Speaker 6: Yeah, sure, he's just right, Like he's.
[25:51] Speaker 2: Just like I'm just going to live my life and
[25:52] Speaker 2: do what you want to do.
[25:53] Speaker 5: You know.
[25:53] Speaker 4: Well, yeah, I mean if he if she brings up
[25:55] Speaker 4: the idea of going to couples counseling and he's like,
[25:57] Speaker 4: I'm not doing that, then you have your answer. You
[25:59] Speaker 4: can't you can't force someone to want to work on things.
[26:03] Speaker 4: But if he's like, yeah, let's do it. I want
[26:05] Speaker 4: to be with you, then I think there's a way
[26:07] Speaker 4: of nurturing something and maybe finding something in each other
[26:10] Speaker 4: that that you are able to love him in the
[26:13] Speaker 4: way that you want to to love and be loved.
[26:17] Speaker 3: But I'm sorry, that's really really challenged. H keep us
[26:21] Speaker 3: updated if you want.
[26:24] Speaker 5: Yeah, we'd love that.
[26:25] Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, I feel like we should take a break
[26:28] Speaker 3: and do We'll do a fun one, a fun one
[26:31] Speaker 3: when we return.
[26:50] Speaker 2: We're back, Yes we are. Mark.
[26:59] Speaker 3: I feel like I'm drunk, legitimately drunk on life.
[27:07] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[27:07] Speaker 5: I thought we did this last one? Is that cool?
[27:09] Speaker 3: Yeah?
[27:09] Speaker 5: Three set this in Hi, Tanya, Mark, Beca and Easton.
[27:14] Speaker 5: When you were playing Becca Trilvia and you read those
[27:16] Speaker 5: questions from the Bachelor interviews, it had me wondering what
[27:19] Speaker 5: all of your answers would be and what Becca's would
[27:21] Speaker 5: be today. Would love to hear everyone's answer. Sincerely, Brie,
[27:25] Speaker 5: a longtime listener, former Grays and Bachelor watcher Sunshine Mind Book.
[27:29] Speaker 5: A sign attendee at the Grove, enthusiastic listening to Mark's
[27:34] Speaker 5: advice and thankful for Easton's love of life and his
[27:37] Speaker 5: reminders to do the random things and enjoy the moments
[27:40] Speaker 5: we have. Wow, thanks for being part of my life
[27:42] Speaker 5: all these years. We love bre Love you, Bri. All right,
[27:45] Speaker 5: tattoos you have you had to? Now you have fewer
[27:50] Speaker 5: than two?
[27:51] Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't have any zero zero.
[27:53] Speaker 5: All right, Tanya zero Easton three. I also have zero,
[27:58] Speaker 5: So Easton, tell us about yours.
[28:00] Speaker 6: They're all on my lower lower hemisphere. I got one
[28:05] Speaker 6: on my foot. It's the face from the Indiana Jones
[28:07] Speaker 6: ride at Disneyland, the big face you see that you're
[28:10] Speaker 6: not supposed to going to the eyes.
[28:11] Speaker 5: Yeah, naturally, Mara common tattoo.
[28:13] Speaker 6: And then on my shin I've got a big old
[28:15] Speaker 6: skeleton also from that ride where that shoots the darts
[28:18] Speaker 6: at you. And then on my upper thigh, I've got
[28:20] Speaker 6: a woman's face with spider legs coming out of it.
[28:22] Speaker 2: I had a dragon. No on your leg.
[28:27] Speaker 6: No, it's got flames on it. It's it's a skeleton.
[28:29] Speaker 5: Oh yeah, the woman's face is that from? What is
[28:32] Speaker 5: that from?
[28:33] Speaker 6: You know? It was Halloween and there's a sheet of
[28:35] Speaker 6: the pictures and I got it was thirty one dollars
[28:38] Speaker 6: and I got it.
[28:39] Speaker 5: Wow.
[28:40] Speaker 6: Yeah, it doesn't mean anything, just a impulse, tattoo impulse all.
[28:44] Speaker 6: You know, we went down there to get tattoos that
[28:45] Speaker 6: day it was gonna happen, but I didn't know when
[28:47] Speaker 6: I was getting util I got down.
[28:48] Speaker 5: Wow. Crazy, I can't live without Becka. Originally, of course
[28:52] Speaker 5: said food, family, friends, Wi Fi, and Netflix. So crazy.
[28:58] Speaker 5: What would you put on that list? Now?
[29:02] Speaker 3: I mean food? I feel little passionate about that.
[29:05] Speaker 5: Water. Also, sure if you.
[29:07] Speaker 2: Need not including people like, let's not include people Phoebe
[29:13] Speaker 2: or dogs?
[29:13] Speaker 5: Oh so no mammals allowed this question?
[29:17] Speaker 4: Okay, Well, I'm just gonna make it kind of silly
[29:20] Speaker 4: and lighthearted and I'm not going to go too deep
[29:22] Speaker 4: since you're taking away my essentials.
[29:25] Speaker 3: Fine, Okay, I'm gonna.
[29:27] Speaker 4: Say my silk pillow case, specifically my pillow because I
[29:33] Speaker 4: literally have to travel with it.
[29:34] Speaker 3: I can't not travel with it. It's a huge, it's
[29:37] Speaker 3: a thing.
[29:40] Speaker 4: I would say perfume, yeah, just like smell and nice.
[29:47] Speaker 3: Unfortunately I say my phone, Yeah, I can't live without it?
[29:51] Speaker 3: About why would I? You know? And I would say
[29:57] Speaker 3: this is really hard. I'll let you've taken away my essentials.
[30:00] Speaker 4: I'm gonna say soda, m yeah, I need it, love it, caffeine,
[30:05] Speaker 4: and my final.
[30:07] Speaker 3: Pick would be.
[30:14] Speaker 4: A dryer, washer and dryer because I don't like to
[30:19] Speaker 4: smell of outside. You have to wash your clothes.
[30:24] Speaker 2: You you didn't even pick clothes, so you don't have clothes,
[30:28] Speaker 2: so you'd just be washing yourself close.
[30:32] Speaker 3: You said I had I'm not picking food, but are people?
[30:34] Speaker 3: But I get to have that's not an essential?
[30:37] Speaker 2: Yeah?
[30:39] Speaker 3: What what are my rules?
[30:40] Speaker 2: Understand the question what.
[30:42] Speaker 5: You couldn't live without? It's very simple. Doesn't have to
[30:46] Speaker 5: like we don't have to pick shelter, but we couldn't
[30:50] Speaker 5: live without it. Like there's certain things that are.
[30:54] Speaker 3: Soda. I love food.
[30:58] Speaker 5: I love to lay, so the couch would maybe be
[31:02] Speaker 5: an important thing.
[31:03] Speaker 3: My skincare, I don't know what is yours mine?
[31:06] Speaker 2: Simple, it's my orthotics.
[31:08] Speaker 3: Just one do you shoes?
[31:11] Speaker 2: Do you understand? These were the most uncomfortable shoes I'd
[31:14] Speaker 2: ever worn in my life. Okay, but you I put
[31:17] Speaker 2: my orthotics in these bad boys, and I felt like
[31:19] Speaker 2: I was on a cloud at the Sabrina Carpenter Show.
[31:22] Speaker 6: They're inserts.
[31:23] Speaker 1: Yes, wow, and.
[31:24] Speaker 2: These ones aren't even like I can go to a
[31:26] Speaker 2: store where they mold them to my feet.
[31:28] Speaker 3: It's not as good though. I don't like them when
[31:30] Speaker 3: these are not.
[31:30] Speaker 2: These are just regular ones that I bomb. But I'm like,
[31:32] Speaker 2: I can't even imagine the orgasmic heaven that would be
[31:36] Speaker 2: if I got ones made for my feet, Like.
[31:38] Speaker 5: Are you jelling?
[31:39] Speaker 6: What are you jelling?
[31:41] Speaker 2: No, they're they're not gel No, I don't think so.
[31:45] Speaker 2: I don't know, but that's really all I need. Okay,
[31:47] Speaker 2: so just your simple gal. Yeah, I don't need my phone.
[31:50] Speaker 2: I don't need a TV. I do need a washer
[31:51] Speaker 2: and dryer. Just my orthotics.
[31:53] Speaker 6: Wow wow, and some flaws.
[31:55] Speaker 5: I don't know. I love baseball so much. I'm going
[31:58] Speaker 5: baseball and TV and my.
[32:00] Speaker 6: On yeah phone, popcorn? Uh uh. The eminem's character is
[32:07] Speaker 6: just to look at.
[32:09] Speaker 4: Okay, next one, I mean when you when you're when
[32:12] Speaker 4: your baseline is food, family friends by a Netflix that
[32:16] Speaker 4: can only go up.
[32:18] Speaker 5: Biggest Date fear. You had said having stomach issues and
[32:21] Speaker 5: clogging up a toilet like a dumb.
[32:23] Speaker 4: And dumber this Actually, I don't think I would take
[32:27] Speaker 4: this back.
[32:28] Speaker 3: I can't think of something worse.
[32:29] Speaker 5: I'm with you on this, maybe pooping my pants even
[32:32] Speaker 5: with on a date night with my wife, if I
[32:34] Speaker 5: had crippling stomach issues and had to run to the bathroom,
[32:37] Speaker 5: like what a what a? What a mood kill.
[32:42] Speaker 3: And your orthotic and.
[32:44] Speaker 6: Before my athonic into my life, your mind was always like, uh,
[32:48] Speaker 6: if there's a problem by credit card or something like
[32:51] Speaker 6: it got locked out, or like, uh, yeah, I was
[32:54] Speaker 6: always afraid something like that. Even even when I knew
[32:56] Speaker 6: everything was fine, I still was always afraid, Like what
[32:58] Speaker 6: if it comes back declined? That's my problem?
[33:01] Speaker 3: And you know that fear and comes from having being declined,
[33:04] Speaker 3: and I relate to that.
[33:06] Speaker 6: Yeah, never gonna escape that.
[33:08] Speaker 5: She could be any animal. What would you be? Beca
[33:10] Speaker 5: picked a dolphin? They're beautiful and supposed to the twenty
[33:13] Speaker 5: percent of their brains brilliant.
[33:15] Speaker 2: It's just as me. My biggest date fear.
[33:18] Speaker 5: Oh, I thought you were saying the stomach things.
[33:20] Speaker 2: No, I said, that's happening me.
[33:22] Speaker 5: Okay, it's not fear anymore.
[33:25] Speaker 2: I was always afraid I was going to go up
[33:27] Speaker 2: to the wrong person because I never knew exactly what
[33:31] Speaker 2: the guys looked like. Yeah, I was always scared of Wow,
[33:36] Speaker 2: especially mister Wilsher, because the first time I met him
[33:39] Speaker 2: it was like in a park and I was like, oh, hell,
[33:41] Speaker 2: like a lot of park with a lot of people.
[33:43] Speaker 3: Oh my god.
[33:44] Speaker 2: I was like, if I don't get this right, it's
[33:45] Speaker 2: gonna be so embarrassing.
[33:47] Speaker 3: And you all just met through a car window.
[33:49] Speaker 5: Yes, yeah, all right, what animal would you be, Tanya?
[33:51] Speaker 3: I'm glad you're alive. By the way, you had some
[33:55] Speaker 3: questionable to Totally.
[33:56] Speaker 6: I think it's on the dude to approach to come
[33:58] Speaker 6: up to you during the day.
[34:00] Speaker 2: They I was weirdly, I was always the second one there,
[34:04] Speaker 2: like the guys are always like seated.
[34:06] Speaker 6: But still he should stand up and be like hello,
[34:08] Speaker 6: a tan yea.
[34:09] Speaker 2: You know no, even Robbie didn't do that.
[34:11] Speaker 6: Wow, it's this world coming too, And I was sure,
[34:13] Speaker 6: what do you look like?
[34:14] Speaker 2: Either? If I could be any animal, I would be Sunny,
[34:19] Speaker 2: my dog. I just just to get into her head
[34:22] Speaker 2: and know what she's thinking about.
[34:25] Speaker 3: I would stick with my original answer of a dolphin.
[34:28] Speaker 3: It's just the my.
[34:29] Speaker 4: Little things at the end, dumb and dumber, brilliant. It's like,
[34:35] Speaker 4: why not just answer the question. You don't need these
[34:37] Speaker 4: little taglines. But I do stink with stick with dolphins
[34:42] Speaker 4: the hell free.
[34:43] Speaker 5: Monkeys seem like they're having a good time. Yeah, i'd
[34:45] Speaker 5: be a monkey. Plus, they're awfully similar to us. Yeah
[34:48] Speaker 5: a monkey.
[34:49] Speaker 6: I'd be a gorilla. Oh wow, very similar to my
[34:53] Speaker 6: body type.
[34:53] Speaker 5: Yeah, you're a gorilla of them. Man, If you won
[34:56] Speaker 5: the lottery, what would you do with your winnings? You know,
[34:59] Speaker 5: I'll tell you I would do much. I'm very happy.
[35:02] Speaker 6: Yeah.
[35:02] Speaker 5: I like my car, I like my house. We would
[35:05] Speaker 5: expand the collegiate options for my daughter if I won
[35:08] Speaker 5: the lottery. But I don't see us moving into a mansion.
[35:11] Speaker 5: I don't see buying a maserati. I don't see any
[35:14] Speaker 5: of that stuff. We would travel sooner and better, that's
[35:17] Speaker 5: what we would do. And I love my job, like
[35:20] Speaker 5: I need something to do. But I think we would
[35:22] Speaker 5: travel more and in a higher class of travel. That's good,
[35:28] Speaker 5: that's what we would do.
[35:28] Speaker 3: Yeah, I would travel.
[35:29] Speaker 4: I would buy a home in a couple of different
[35:31] Speaker 4: places sure, and then gives them away to Tanya mark Innistan.
[35:38] Speaker 3: Yeah, my family, scrubbing in family.
[35:41] Speaker 2: Yeah, I would definitely get houses for my family, Robbie's family,
[35:44] Speaker 2: Like make sure everybody's set up in a home, like
[35:47] Speaker 2: a nice home. Then I would do what mister Beast does.
[35:53] Speaker 6: Open a theme park inside of your always.
[35:56] Speaker 2: Yeah, the money money always. Yeah.
[35:58] Speaker 3: My sister entered one. She goes, I have a feeling
[36:01] Speaker 3: I'm gonna win.
[36:01] Speaker 2: So there's a couple of the other there's a couple
[36:05] Speaker 2: others of them that do it as well, but I
[36:08] Speaker 2: don't I don't know their names YouTubers, but yeah, like that.
[36:13] Speaker 5: It would be cool.
[36:14] Speaker 3: Yeah, it would be fun.
[36:15] Speaker 6: Yeah yeah, Eastern uh yeah, traveled by people's houses.
[36:20] Speaker 5: Blah blah, what's they really dorky stuff you would do
[36:23] Speaker 5: really dorky stuff. You buy cheesecake factory, franch eyes or that's.
[36:28] Speaker 3: Hard though, you have to work hard to like maintain them.
[36:30] Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, I don't dream of that, but I do
[36:33] Speaker 6: you know a bed that looks.
[36:36] Speaker 4: Like a croc What about Easton Eats and it's just
[36:39] Speaker 4: all your favorite foods as a restaurant.
[36:41] Speaker 6: I mean that would be fun, but also that's a
[36:43] Speaker 6: lot of work to do. You know what I would do?
[36:45] Speaker 4: The uh?
[36:46] Speaker 6: In Back to the Future Part two, there's these nikes
[36:48] Speaker 6: that lace themselves, are called Nike Mags, and they made
[36:50] Speaker 6: them for real and they sell for like thirty grand.
[36:53] Speaker 6: If a pair of those backs wear them around, that's
[36:56] Speaker 6: a good purchase, actually, and they just invest the rest
[36:59] Speaker 6: or something like a go Greek machine.
[37:01] Speaker 2: Just have it on tap at your house.
[37:02] Speaker 6: That'd be great.
[37:03] Speaker 5: Yeah, does They don't have a most embarrassing moment to share?
[37:07] Speaker 5: Becca had several this quiz. Once I was getting gassed
[37:11] Speaker 5: and the guy asked, what kind of gas do you like?
[37:13] Speaker 5: And I thought he asked what kind of guys do
[37:15] Speaker 5: you like? So I responded the tall, dark, and handsome,
[37:17] Speaker 5: and he stared at me and repeated the question.
[37:21] Speaker 3: It's so cringe and also just funny, tall, doorcing handsome.
[37:27] Speaker 4: That's just funny. Embarrassing moments in Helen, Yeah, you don't
[37:36] Speaker 4: get embarrassed, not part of your personality.
[37:40] Speaker 3: Do y'all have any.
[37:41] Speaker 5: Nothing comes to mind? Look like I tried out for
[37:44] Speaker 5: the high school baseball team and it went horribly wrong
[37:46] Speaker 5: and I was terrible. And I also like a like
[37:49] Speaker 5: a runny nose at the time, and I couldn't kind
[37:51] Speaker 5: of keep up with that, and it was just an
[37:53] Speaker 5: awful day. I remember that being an awful embarrassing day.
[37:58] Speaker 6: I also don't get embarrassed it easily. But uh, a year,
[38:01] Speaker 6: many many years ago before we moved to La, I I
[38:03] Speaker 6: went to it. I didn't open mic at stand up.
[38:05] Speaker 6: I tried sam comedy. Wow, I didn't. I didn't tell
[38:07] Speaker 6: anyone about I just did it, went by myself. And
[38:09] Speaker 6: let me tell you, guys, I absolutely destroyed. I killed
[38:12] Speaker 6: and I was like, oh, this is it. I'm doing
[38:15] Speaker 6: this now, this is it. So I did. I came
[38:17] Speaker 6: back like a month later. I told my friends, and
[38:19] Speaker 6: oh my god, how poorly I did that second time?
[38:24] Speaker 6: So bad? Nobody laughed. It was terrible. I was like
[38:27] Speaker 6: fumbling around and I was so embarrassed. But that's every
[38:30] Speaker 6: stand up comic story it is. And I realized at
[38:32] Speaker 6: that point I was not built for that. So interesting,
[38:35] Speaker 6: so I never did it.
[38:36] Speaker 5: Every other standup comedy realizes that they can endure that embarrassment,
[38:41] Speaker 5: yeah and get back up.
[38:42] Speaker 3: You were.
[38:42] Speaker 6: That's it for me, that's it for you know. I'm like,
[38:44] Speaker 6: there's gonna be more of these down the line. And
[38:45] Speaker 6: I don't think I'm I don't think I'm built for this.
[38:49] Speaker 3: You trigger something in me.
[38:51] Speaker 4: For my most embarrassing it was when Amy had me
[38:53] Speaker 4: fill in for k t LA the entertainment portion as
[38:58] Speaker 4: like I filled him for Sam Rubin.
[39:00] Speaker 6: Wow.
[39:00] Speaker 3: And I had no hosting a bit.
[39:03] Speaker 4: I had no experience reading a prompter, and it was
[39:07] Speaker 4: so painfully bad. I was like, I will never When
[39:12] Speaker 4: people are like, would you want to host TV? She's like,
[39:14] Speaker 4: you should host, you should host, I'm like never, Wow,
[39:17] Speaker 4: shut me down.
[39:18] Speaker 2: I remember that was as bad as she's making it's
[39:22] Speaker 2: pretty bad, but it wasn't that.
[39:24] Speaker 5: That was bad.
[39:25] Speaker 4: I interviewed Alie Simpson, Cody Simpson's sister. Yeah, she was
[39:31] Speaker 4: promoting something, but she was really sweet.
[39:33] Speaker 2: But it wasn't as bad as you think. But I
[39:36] Speaker 2: could see the panic in her.
[39:38] Speaker 3: Yeah, like you could tell it was very uncomfortable.
[39:41] Speaker 6: Yeah, would you do it now?
[39:42] Speaker 3: And I'm looking it up Mark, we're trying.
[39:46] Speaker 6: No, you have so much more experience as a host now,
[39:49] Speaker 6: and you're so good.
[39:51] Speaker 4: Well, you could host a comedy special and I also
[39:56] Speaker 4: have experience, and you could host a fashion show panel.
[40:02] Speaker 5: You could, by the way, you're a color blind fashion commentator.
[40:06] Speaker 5: You can do anything.
[40:08] Speaker 3: Literally, people believe in you.
[40:13] Speaker 5: And finally, what is your greatest We get everybody on
[40:16] Speaker 5: that one. What is your greatest achievement to date? Becca
[40:19] Speaker 5: said at this date, staying at home, staying and living
[40:21] Speaker 5: alone in California, when my sister and brother in law
[40:24] Speaker 5: went back to Louisiana.
[40:27] Speaker 3: I would say buying a house in California. I feel
[40:29] Speaker 3: very a.
[40:29] Speaker 5: Major accomplishment, very achieved.
[40:33] Speaker 3: We're doing that.
[40:33] Speaker 5: We've asked this before and I've always said I and
[40:36] Speaker 5: I continue to say, my marriage of twenty three years,
[40:41] Speaker 5: thank you, thank you, and my daughters.
[40:43] Speaker 2: Yes, I think Mine's my book.
[40:49] Speaker 5: That's a good one.
[40:50] Speaker 2: Really hard to do, and it was, Yeah, it was hard,
[40:55] Speaker 2: challenging in many ways.
[40:57] Speaker 6: I have the Sunshine. Mine is on my bookcase in
[40:59] Speaker 6: my office at home, and sometimes I hold like I
[41:02] Speaker 6: pick it up and hold it in my hand and
[41:03] Speaker 6: I think about that, like you can pick up this
[41:06] Speaker 6: thing that Tanya creating and hold it in your hand,
[41:08] Speaker 6: and it's like, that's just such an incredible thing.
[41:10] Speaker 2: It was so much time and effort, like more than
[41:14] Speaker 2: I put into I feel like anything.
[41:16] Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, and it comes through in the work.
[41:19] Speaker 2: Thank you. So much.
[41:20] Speaker 6: Uh, you know, I think sometimes I think about my marriage,
[41:24] Speaker 6: but that's not a really an achievement. That's like I
[41:25] Speaker 6: tricked somebody into it. But yeah, I guess I'll buy
[41:29] Speaker 6: a house in California that I was pretty I'm proud
[41:32] Speaker 6: of that.
[41:32] Speaker 5: Yeah, in a classic house.
[41:33] Speaker 6: Yeah yeah, a a historic home, one hundred year old
[41:36] Speaker 6: house that we've painsectly restored.
[41:42] Speaker 3: Well, that was a really fun prompt.
[41:44] Speaker 4: I mean, I hate revisiting that interview that I did,
[41:46] Speaker 4: but I'm grateful for redo.
[41:48] Speaker 5: Thank you, Thank you, Bri.
[41:50] Speaker 4: And if you ever want to submit dear Bonia questions, comments, concerns, games,
[41:56] Speaker 4: et cetera, please dms on Instagram at scrubbing in pot
[41:59] Speaker 4: or email tell us at scrubbing In at iHeartMedia dot com.
[42:03] Speaker 3: Everyone's going to go home and lay and we hope
[42:08] Speaker 3: you have a wonderful weekend. And we love you so much.
[42:13] Speaker 4: You love you.
[42:14] Speaker 2: Bye bye

Shows are listed from Apple Podcasts' charts and directory, and Podcast Index where it is used. Every show and episode belongs to its publisher and plays from the publisher's own feed; this site hosts none of them.