# Dear Banya: Golden Globe Worthy

An episode of [Scrubbing In with Becca Tilley & Tanya Rad](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1279955329), 5 Feb 2026, 32 min.

Audio: https://podtrac.com/pts/redirect.mp3/arttrk.com/p/D5CA5/pdst.fm/e/pscrb.fm/rss/p/traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/009b23ef-9bd1-4caf-a592-ae3101631380/ce26904b-1f4e-4580-8875-b3e8009ea9dd/audio.mp3?utm_source=Podcast&in_playlist=7e804438-d6f3-48a0-9de8-ae310163138e

It's another round of Dear Banya, and we need to LEVEL UP! Becca and Tanya are ready to lock in and answer some hard hitting questions from Scrubbers! We help a parent trying to raise a modern woman, we help someone dealing with a self-centered friend, and should you go on an overseas trip with family (and a young child)?? Plus... we dive deep into Traitors! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

## Transcript

[0:00] Speaker 1: Scrubbing in with Tilly and Tanya rad and iHeartRadio and
[0:04] Speaker 1: two times People's Choice Award winning podcast.
[0:10] Speaker 2: Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in that we are. Yes,
[0:18] Speaker 2: do we have new options for our dear Bania jingle?
[0:23] Speaker 3: I have not anything.
[0:30] Speaker 2: Call with the question. I have idea, dear, it's just
[0:38] Speaker 2: giving miss Rachel. What was the other one? Oh?
[0:43] Speaker 1: Yeah, no we can't.
[0:47] Speaker 2: It's okay, the time will come.
[0:50] Speaker 1: I don't want the Miss Rachel one.
[0:51] Speaker 2: I know, I know, because yeah, that makes sense. We
[0:58] Speaker 2: just have to shoot from for.
[1:00] Speaker 1: More, for more. Yeah, for the golden globe. Yes, for
[1:03] Speaker 1: the glow.
[1:04] Speaker 2: That is not a Golden Globe jingle.
[1:06] Speaker 1: No, it's not.
[1:08] Speaker 2: That's just and I, first of all, I haven't. I
[1:11] Speaker 2: haven't submitted anything. So that's no dig to Easton and
[1:15] Speaker 2: his hard work.
[1:16] Speaker 1: No, no, no, no digs at all. Actually I give
[1:21] Speaker 1: I commend him for even putting that together, right right, right.
[1:25] Speaker 1: But I think that in order to get the Golden
[1:28] Speaker 1: Globe in twenty twenty seven, there are some changes that
[1:31] Speaker 1: need to be made.
[1:32] Speaker 2: What are they?
[1:33] Speaker 1: I don't know yet. Oh, I have to create an
[1:36] Speaker 1: action plan.
[1:38] Speaker 2: One thing about us is we have a big idea.
[1:41] Speaker 1: But no follow through.
[1:42] Speaker 2: That and like no way of getting there. It's just
[1:45] Speaker 2: the ideas there.
[1:46] Speaker 1: And the passion the heart.
[1:48] Speaker 2: Do we have that?
[1:49] Speaker 1: Yes?
[1:50] Speaker 2: I do, really yes. But when you have the passion
[1:53] Speaker 2: the heart, there's normally follow through.
[1:56] Speaker 1: Not true, it takes two. But do you feel like
[2:01] Speaker 1: it takes to make a thing right?
[2:05] Speaker 2: It takes you feel like like you feel like when
[2:10] Speaker 2: you you're putting in the works to get the Golden Globe,
[2:13] Speaker 2: you put in the work for that. It's just me
[2:16] Speaker 2: that's lack.
[2:16] Speaker 1: No, I have the passion to do it. I have
[2:18] Speaker 1: the passion to like want to get that Golden Globe?
[2:21] Speaker 1: I do. Do I have the answer of how to
[2:24] Speaker 1: do that? I don't, but the passion's there.
[2:26] Speaker 2: Yes, okay, okay, yeah?
[2:31] Speaker 1: How cool would it be if we were a Golden
[2:33] Speaker 1: Globe nominated Becca? We won? Here's the thing, we won
[2:36] Speaker 1: two People's Choice Awards. I feel like you're so flippant
[2:39] Speaker 1: with that.
[2:40] Speaker 2: It is not at all major. It's so major.
[2:44] Speaker 1: Do you think we have armchair expert? Armchair expert? One
[2:51] Speaker 1: of a People's Choice word? Did it actually?
[2:53] Speaker 2: Marke? But I think that the the thing is, since
[3:00] Speaker 2: we've won those podcasts, we haven't done anything to upgrade
[3:05] Speaker 2: our podcast, to level up with the other podcasts that
[3:09] Speaker 2: are now being nominated a winning such as Call Her Daddy.
[3:14] Speaker 1: No, I mean, like, what are they doing that's leveling up?
[3:17] Speaker 2: They have video, they have Yeah, so the like massive
[3:22] Speaker 2: guests they have like doesn't doesn't travel.
[3:26] Speaker 1: They sit right in those those those chairs every time.
[3:30] Speaker 2: Yeah, but we're talking about someone who is a famous
[3:34] Speaker 2: actor with a famous wife who's a famous actress. Like
[3:37] Speaker 2: they're they have a little bit. They don't have to
[3:39] Speaker 2: do as much as we need to do.
[3:43] Speaker 1: I see your points. However, it is not lost on
[3:47] Speaker 1: me that we have beaten Oprah. Okay, if we can
[3:50] Speaker 1: beat Oprah, we can do anything.
[3:52] Speaker 2: But do you think we could beat Oprah right now?
[3:55] Speaker 1: No?
[3:56] Speaker 2: Right, That's what I'm saying.
[3:59] Speaker 1: No, we cannot.
[4:00] Speaker 2: We What I'm saying is we had the momentum. We
[4:02] Speaker 2: were like zoom zoom zoom, people choice the word, peoples
[4:06] Speaker 2: choice the word, and then we plateaued and we even
[4:08] Speaker 2: got nominated for a thirty year We.
[4:10] Speaker 1: Just yeah, yeah, that was a tough tough one to swallow.
[4:14] Speaker 1: But what goes down must come back.
[4:16] Speaker 2: Up, right, It's and that's the that's the truth.
[4:20] Speaker 1: Uh, huh.
[4:20] Speaker 2: It's just that we got to make sure. We got
[4:22] Speaker 2: to make sure that our elevator isn't on a sinking ship. Yes,
[4:26] Speaker 2: we got to make sure our elevator isn't on the Titanic,
[4:29] Speaker 2: because an elevator can go up once it's down, but
[4:32] Speaker 2: if it's on a sinking ship, it just sinks.
[4:34] Speaker 1: It's Oh my gosh, I'm saying today, I'm just.
[4:38] Speaker 2: Saying, we gotta we gotta be We gotta lok in. Yeah,
[4:42] Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying.
[4:43] Speaker 1: I'm locking in baby in more ways than one. Let
[4:46] Speaker 1: me tell you.
[4:48] Speaker 2: Let me tell you what does that mean.
[4:50] Speaker 1: You'll see. February first was like the start of the
[4:53] Speaker 1: year for me, just because I said.
[4:55] Speaker 2: January same thing to January was a wash.
[4:57] Speaker 1: I said, to hell with it.
[5:00] Speaker 2: M hmm.
[5:00] Speaker 1: Feb one knew me, Yeah, catch me March one. You
[5:05] Speaker 1: weren't even recognize her anymore.
[5:07] Speaker 2: WHOA, what's gonna be different.
[5:09] Speaker 1: I'm gonna go to therapy. I'm gonna make some action items,
[5:15] Speaker 1: make a vision board, and it'll all come together.
[5:21] Speaker 2: I love therapy. My therapist is so amazing.
[5:25] Speaker 1: I've been out of it for a minute and I'm
[5:27] Speaker 1: getting back in because your girl.
[5:29] Speaker 2: She's just the best. Should we get into deer Bonnie
[5:34] Speaker 2: speaking of therapy?
[5:35] Speaker 1: Yeah, Mark, cue the song here comes.
[5:38] Speaker 2: You're gonna call with the question ONNYA my idea. Dear Bony, Who.
[5:45] Speaker 3: This is from?
[5:46] Speaker 4: Audrey Hi Beca Easton Marcantania. I'm a first time mom
[5:50] Speaker 4: to a seven month old baby named Raleigh. That is
[5:52] Speaker 4: a great name, our a w l u y Raleigh
[5:57] Speaker 4: your recent mentions if Gilmore girls maybe think of the
[5:59] Speaker 4: amazing other daughter relationship Laura Leon Rory have and how
[6:02] Speaker 4: I hope Rawley and I have a similar relationship one day.
[6:05] Speaker 4: What tips or advice do you have for building a
[6:07] Speaker 4: strong relationship with my daughter as she grows up. You
[6:10] Speaker 4: all seem to have such amazing relationship with your parents
[6:13] Speaker 4: and Mark, you seem to be raising strong modern women.
[6:15] Speaker 4: I'd love to know what has been a difference maker
[6:17] Speaker 4: for you. Thank you for always bringing the laughs in
[6:20] Speaker 4: sunshine each week. You were one of the many things
[6:22] Speaker 4: that got me through the newborn trenches.
[6:23] Speaker 3: All the love, Audrey, that's a really cute name.
[6:28] Speaker 2: Rolly uh? Mark, why don't you start with a daughter?
[6:33] Speaker 4: I take no credit. My secret, as it were, is
[6:36] Speaker 4: my wife. I give her one hundred percent credit for
[6:38] Speaker 4: the incredibly strong young women that we have raised. They
[6:40] Speaker 4: are nineteen and sixteen and uh and we're just we're
[6:44] Speaker 4: so proud. I don't think I did a thing to
[6:46] Speaker 4: make that happen. I give it all to my wife.
[6:48] Speaker 3: Hey, Easton is here.
[6:49] Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't want to take any credit, but I
[6:56] Speaker 4: do think we were always there, and there was always
[6:58] Speaker 4: We're always around and we're always available to talk about
[7:01] Speaker 4: whatever they want, and they've always been very open with us.
[7:05] Speaker 4: And I don't know if that's something we did or
[7:06] Speaker 4: if that's just kind of how they are. I'm not
[7:08] Speaker 4: sure which direction that goes.
[7:09] Speaker 1: You know, It's interesting because I feel like I was
[7:12] Speaker 1: the same way with my parents. Like I was always
[7:14] Speaker 1: pretty open and honest about stuff, but they never I
[7:17] Speaker 1: never felt like I had strict rules. Like I had rules.
[7:22] Speaker 1: Obviously I couldn't just like run amok, but I never
[7:24] Speaker 1: felt like I had these crazy rules put on me
[7:30] Speaker 1: to where I couldn't be open with them about stuff.
[7:32] Speaker 1: You know, like when I wanted to have sex, I
[7:35] Speaker 1: was open about it. If I was going to drink
[7:38] Speaker 1: one night, or like you know what I mean, Like
[7:40] Speaker 1: I was kind of open about stuff and I feel
[7:42] Speaker 1: like I never took anything like I didn't take anything
[7:46] Speaker 1: advanta or I didn't take any of that advantage for granted,
[7:49] Speaker 1: or I take advantage.
[7:51] Speaker 2: I didn't take advantage of their like rules they're they're yeah, yeah,
[7:55] Speaker 2: parental guidelines correct. Yeah.
[7:57] Speaker 1: I think that creates a space of like I agree,
[8:00] Speaker 1: I think so, yeah, pretty nice.
[8:02] Speaker 4: I think when your kid coming to say, hey, I'm
[8:04] Speaker 4: thinking about doing some whatever it is, yeah, and you go, oh,
[8:11] Speaker 4: like it just suits up wall if you're like, well,
[8:13] Speaker 4: there's gonna do it behind your back, Yeah, exactly.
[8:14] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[8:15] Speaker 3: So yeah, that's a big part of it, I think.
[8:16] Speaker 1: Yeah. I also think like doing just thoughtful things. I mean,
[8:20] Speaker 1: I don't know, like it's weird like being a kid
[8:25] Speaker 1: having like just being a kid and then being a
[8:29] Speaker 1: step parent is you know what I mean, It's it's
[8:32] Speaker 1: an interesting thing. So I'm like trying to create little
[8:36] Speaker 1: things that I do for them that are just like
[8:38] Speaker 1: thoughtful and intentional that I hope will make them feel
[8:41] Speaker 1: safe and just like that they know I like am
[8:44] Speaker 1: there and I love them and I think about them,
[8:46] Speaker 1: you know.
[8:46] Speaker 2: M I also think like one of the things is
[8:51] Speaker 2: even if Rolly grows up and she's different and has
[8:54] Speaker 2: different interest in you, and it's just like a different
[8:56] Speaker 2: person than you thought she would be or or then
[9:00] Speaker 2: you were. I think learning to learn and know about
[9:04] Speaker 2: the things that she loves and is interested in will
[9:07] Speaker 2: go so far because I think a lot of parents
[9:10] Speaker 2: they have this expectation of I mean, I think it's
[9:12] Speaker 2: just natural to have expectations of your children. But I
[9:15] Speaker 2: think when there's you have a child that's like so
[9:18] Speaker 2: opposite from you and doesn't like like you're like, oh,
[9:21] Speaker 2: they don't like any of the same things I like
[9:22] Speaker 2: or that I liked when I was a kid, So
[9:24] Speaker 2: I don't know how to connect. It's like learning to
[9:26] Speaker 2: connect on the things that maybe aren't natural for you,
[9:29] Speaker 2: so that you are there for them. Yeah, because they're
[9:32] Speaker 2: not trying to choose things to be like, they're not
[9:35] Speaker 2: trying to choose interest to be like defiant from you.
[9:38] Speaker 1: They're trying They're just doing what they make happy.
[9:40] Speaker 2: Yeah, So like meeting them there.
[9:43] Speaker 1: That's good advice. Nothing makes me more sad than like
[9:46] Speaker 1: when like wherever they ask these like football players about
[9:50] Speaker 1: their kids, like oh, are they going to follow in
[9:51] Speaker 1: your footsteps? And like what if their kid doesn't want
[9:53] Speaker 1: to play football.
[9:54] Speaker 3: Yeah, hopefully they don't. Honestly, God, all right, Anonymous? Should
[10:02] Speaker 3: I leave my job? Dear Banya and Meeston.
[10:07] Speaker 5: Hey, that's me.
[10:08] Speaker 3: Yeah.
[10:10] Speaker 4: First of all, thank you so much for providing such
[10:11] Speaker 4: joy and laughs over the years. Listening to the podcast
[10:14] Speaker 4: is truly the highlight of my week. I'm writing in
[10:16] Speaker 4: because I feel stuck in a job I once loved
[10:19] Speaker 4: and I don't know if that means if it's time
[10:20] Speaker 4: to move on. And but with my company, my entire career.
[10:22] Speaker 4: I grew here, I learned here, I loved the people,
[10:24] Speaker 4: the culture. I've been told them a valuable team manager,
[10:27] Speaker 4: someone they trust and rely on. But the past few years,
[10:30] Speaker 4: I've been up for three different internal positions and I've
[10:33] Speaker 4: not gotten any of them. In every case, I wasn't
[10:37] Speaker 4: even told they didn't get it until I followed up,
[10:39] Speaker 4: no check in, no courtesy update. If I'm so important,
[10:43] Speaker 4: why does this keep happening. I don't want to leave
[10:45] Speaker 4: out of emotion or ego, but I don't want to
[10:47] Speaker 4: stay somewhere where I don't see my future. I also
[10:49] Speaker 4: understand having a job as a privilege, and it could
[10:51] Speaker 4: be risky to leave with the current state of the world.
[10:53] Speaker 4: Is it worth having a talk with my manager? Or
[10:55] Speaker 4: how do you know what it's time to move on
[10:56] Speaker 4: from a company and a job that you love? Thanks
[10:58] Speaker 4: so much, love you guys.
[10:59] Speaker 1: Girl girl, girl, girl, girl girl, you're asking the wrong
[11:10] Speaker 1: girl over here. Well, I don't know the answer to this,
[11:13] Speaker 1: to be honest, Like, I don't know. I feel like
[11:16] Speaker 1: the fact that you keep getting passed up for these
[11:20] Speaker 1: these things is not a great sign. But I also
[11:23] Speaker 1: don't think you should leave a job if you don't
[11:24] Speaker 1: have a job. I don't think you should leave a
[11:27] Speaker 1: job if you don't have another job in place. That's
[11:29] Speaker 1: like I feel like one oh one, So I feel
[11:32] Speaker 1: like if you could, But I also understand like being
[11:37] Speaker 1: somewhere for so long and knowing all the nooks and
[11:40] Speaker 1: crannies and kind of.
[11:41] Speaker 3: Like, but that's a comfort zone, yeah, for.
[11:44] Speaker 1: Sure, outside the comfort zone, right, Yeah.
[11:47] Speaker 4: You gotta look around, look around, talk to other companies,
[11:50] Speaker 4: see what else is out there, put yourself out there,
[11:52] Speaker 4: and if something great pops up, great. But I don't
[11:53] Speaker 4: think you leave if you don't have something else lined up.
[11:55] Speaker 1: No, I think you have to have something. But how
[11:57] Speaker 1: do you have something lined up if you're looking around
[11:59] Speaker 1: where that gets back to you your company.
[12:00] Speaker 4: Well, hey, talked about I also talking to your manager
[12:04] Speaker 4: is a good idea to say, hey, look, I'm up
[12:05] Speaker 4: for all this stuff. You keep saying positive things. What
[12:07] Speaker 4: can I do? I need to advance here or I
[12:09] Speaker 4: got to go somewhere else.
[12:10] Speaker 1: Not a threat sounds threatening?
[12:11] Speaker 4: Now, Okay, so rephrase. But I'm saying you do have
[12:14] Speaker 4: to say I want to advance here. I've been in
[12:16] Speaker 4: this position too long, and they'll probably agree with you.
[12:19] Speaker 2: Yeah, and if they don't, I think that's your sign
[12:22] Speaker 2: to live.
[12:22] Speaker 1: On your sign. She saw the sign.
[12:24] Speaker 5: Most managers, I think aren't like waking up every day
[12:27] Speaker 5: and going, who can I give a raise to you today?
[12:29] Speaker 1: And definitely not.
[12:30] Speaker 5: You gotta let them know that you want that and
[12:33] Speaker 5: uh yeah and then then bail get out of there.
[12:36] Speaker 2: What's the quote that's like when you accept it's not acceptable,
[12:40] Speaker 2: love you deserve, But it's like you, uh you know
[12:43] Speaker 2: what I'm saying? Yeah, what is it?
[12:45] Speaker 1: Though?
[12:46] Speaker 2: It's basically saying like when you're mistreated or like overlooked.
[12:52] Speaker 1: You, it's them showing you where you are.
[12:58] Speaker 2: No, I don't think that's that's Yeah, basically what I'm
[13:03] Speaker 2: saying is at a certain point you have to realize
[13:06] Speaker 2: that if they don't see your value in this company,
[13:08] Speaker 2: then you need to find a company that does see
[13:10] Speaker 2: your value. And I think it's worth having a conversation
[13:13] Speaker 2: with someone and saying, like what Mark said, Hey, I
[13:17] Speaker 2: want to advance. I notice I'm up for these roles
[13:19] Speaker 2: and I'm not getting in. What am I doing that
[13:21] Speaker 2: that's not giving me that opportunity?
[13:23] Speaker 1: Yeah? What are you not seeing in me?
[13:25] Speaker 2: What are you seeing in other people that you're not
[13:28] Speaker 2: doing better? Yes? Yeah, that's what I would do. And
[13:31] Speaker 2: don't say like I got I'm leaving if you don't
[13:33] Speaker 2: do it, But just be like, hey, I really want
[13:36] Speaker 2: to like challenge myself and move up, but I keep
[13:41] Speaker 2: applying and not getting it. So what are other people
[13:44] Speaker 2: doing that's getting your attention?
[13:45] Speaker 3: Yeah?
[13:46] Speaker 2: So that I can do the same.
[13:47] Speaker 1: Yeah, it's good.
[13:49] Speaker 2: Yeah, good luck. We're rooting for you. Work.
[13:52] Speaker 1: Stuff's tough. It's tough, girl.
[13:59] Speaker 2: We have a self centered friend issue coming up, but
[14:02] Speaker 2: we're gonna take a break and then we'll come back
[14:04] Speaker 2: with that.
[14:22] Speaker 1: We're back.
[14:23] Speaker 2: We are back with a self centered friend from anonymous.
[14:28] Speaker 4: Dear Beckatania Market, Easton. I need advice on how honest
[14:31] Speaker 4: is too honest in a friendship. I've been best friends
[14:33] Speaker 4: with my closest friends fromost ten years. We met in
[14:36] Speaker 4: early twenties, grew up together, We've been through breakups, career changes,
[14:39] Speaker 4: family stuff, all of it. Lately, though, I've been feeling drained.
[14:42] Speaker 4: She's not a bad person, but she's in a phase
[14:44] Speaker 4: wherever conversation revolves around her problems, dating, drama, works, dress,
[14:48] Speaker 4: feeling behind in life, and it feels like there's a
[14:51] Speaker 4: very little space for me anymore. When I try to
[14:53] Speaker 4: share something about my life, it just circles right back
[14:55] Speaker 4: to her issues. I don't think she's doing it intentionally,
[14:57] Speaker 4: which makes it tricky. Part of me feels like bad
[15:00] Speaker 4: friend for thinking this. But do I generally bring this
[15:03] Speaker 4: up and risk changing the dynamic forever? Do I adjust
[15:05] Speaker 4: my expectations, accept the friendships evolve, and protect my energy
[15:09] Speaker 4: without having that big talk.
[15:11] Speaker 3: I don't want a loser, but.
[15:12] Speaker 4: I can't continue this current dynamic. I'm a day one
[15:15] Speaker 4: scrubber and can't thank you enough for everything. We love you, guys.
[15:19] Speaker 2: This is just one of those things where you're gonna
[15:22] Speaker 2: have to have a convert Like for sure, if this
[15:25] Speaker 2: is Tanya, I'd be like, Tanya, I love you so
[15:28] Speaker 2: much and I am so here for everything and anything
[15:31] Speaker 2: that you're going through, but anymore, no, I'm gonna say that.
[15:34] Speaker 2: I'd be like, and I'm going to be here because
[15:37] Speaker 2: I love you and that's that's what friendship is. But
[15:39] Speaker 2: I don't feel like there's any space for me. And
[15:42] Speaker 2: I also am going through things and would love to
[15:44] Speaker 2: have my best friend be there for me, because your
[15:46] Speaker 2: best friend should have a reaction of being like, oh
[15:49] Speaker 2: my gosh, you're so right, Like I have been so
[15:52] Speaker 2: focused on myself. I haven't I haven't even asked you
[15:54] Speaker 2: how you're doing. If she gets defensive, don't take it
[15:58] Speaker 2: as like she doesn't care. I think that's you know,
[16:00] Speaker 2: I don't know y'all's relationship, but she might get defensive.
[16:03] Speaker 1: Yeah, because nobody wants to feel self centered.
[16:05] Speaker 2: No one wants to feel self centered. Yeah, But I
[16:07] Speaker 2: think there's a way of you approaching it and coming
[16:10] Speaker 2: at her is like, I love you so much, I'm
[16:12] Speaker 2: I know that you're going through a lot and this
[16:14] Speaker 2: is a season, and I'm so here for you, and
[16:16] Speaker 2: I also am going through things, and I really want
[16:19] Speaker 2: I would love if there's space for me in these conversations.
[16:22] Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree. I think having a conversation. I don't
[16:25] Speaker 1: think you need to just like quietly walk away or
[16:27] Speaker 1: like move on, because I think I do think that
[16:31] Speaker 1: what you said is true, that she probably doesn't even
[16:33] Speaker 1: realize that she's doing it. And if you just call
[16:36] Speaker 1: her out on it in a nice way, obviously, I
[16:38] Speaker 1: do think she'll redirect and be a lot more intentional
[16:43] Speaker 1: with like her words and what she's saying.
[16:45] Speaker 2: Yeah, and she's probably she probably without you saying anything,
[16:48] Speaker 2: she's just like, oh, I'm just gonna keep talking about
[16:50] Speaker 2: myself because this is what I'm going through and this
[16:53] Speaker 2: is what I feel like I need to do. And
[16:54] Speaker 2: she's not saying anything about it, so she's fine with it.
[16:57] Speaker 2: Like she probably just thinks you're loving hearing about her life.
[17:01] Speaker 2: So I would just be like reassure her and also say, hey,
[17:05] Speaker 2: I want my best friend to be there for me too.
[17:06] Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it's conversation.
[17:09] Speaker 2: Yeah, don't walk away and don't walk up.
[17:12] Speaker 1: Don't walk away? What don't you want to see my hotteat?
[17:18] Speaker 1: And just is the Crambers, I don't want you seeing me?
[17:22] Speaker 1: Cray Hi, just walk away? Nobody knows.
[17:27] Speaker 3: That's all.
[17:28] Speaker 1: Okay, it's a bass Don't turn around, Don't turn around?
[17:36] Speaker 1: The classic?
[17:38] Speaker 2: Did you get the lyrics right?
[17:40] Speaker 1: Probably not? Mostly fair enough?
[17:45] Speaker 2: All right, we have a troget. We have a couple more,
[17:48] Speaker 2: a couple more emails that we're going to get to.
[17:53] Speaker 3: Check it out, check it out? What ready? Yeah, Natalie?
[17:57] Speaker 4: Should My wife and I travel internationally with her sister,
[18:00] Speaker 4: her sister's husband, and their new baby this upcoming mate.
[18:04] Speaker 4: My wife and I take one international trip a year.
[18:06] Speaker 4: My wife's sister and husband also enjoy traveling. They're currently
[18:09] Speaker 4: planning their twenty six travels and desperately want my wife
[18:11] Speaker 4: and I had to join them and their son in Portugal.
[18:15] Speaker 3: They want us to join them.
[18:16] Speaker 4: He has to help out a bit with the baby,
[18:17] Speaker 4: but mainly to make memories. It's the five of us,
[18:19] Speaker 4: and to give us some uninterrupted time to bond with
[18:22] Speaker 4: our nephew. They're really excited about us sharing an Airbnb abroad,
[18:25] Speaker 4: and IVY already put together a rough plan if we
[18:28] Speaker 4: say yes. My wife and I think it sounds fun,
[18:30] Speaker 4: but we have our reservations, which is why I'm riding in.
[18:32] Speaker 4: The more people you travel with, the more complicated gats
[18:35] Speaker 4: plus a baby. That's a whole other can of worms. Slower, travel,
[18:39] Speaker 4: less adventurous, more hiccups, but could be very rewarding in
[18:41] Speaker 4: the end. Going on this also means sharing our big
[18:44] Speaker 4: trip of the year with another couple, and therefore not
[18:47] Speaker 4: too much one on one time for the two of us.
[18:50] Speaker 4: My wife's sister and her husband would definitely be bummed
[18:52] Speaker 4: if we said no, but I know they'd be understanding.
[18:54] Speaker 4: They're going to go on the trip regardless. So here's
[18:57] Speaker 4: some extra context. The four of us have never on
[19:00] Speaker 4: a trip together. We don't live in the same city,
[19:02] Speaker 4: so we don't spend much time together. This is their
[19:04] Speaker 4: first and only child. He's currently four months old to
[19:07] Speaker 4: be eight months old. Then, My wife and I like
[19:09] Speaker 4: babies and kids, but we don't want them ourselves anyway.
[19:11] Speaker 3: I big thank you to the four of you for
[19:13] Speaker 3: doing what you do. Every week.
[19:14] Speaker 4: I catch myself smiling and giggling. We're listening to you all,
[19:16] Speaker 4: and I hope you know us scrubbers are very appreciative
[19:18] Speaker 4: of each and every pod you put out. Scrubbing In
[19:21] Speaker 4: is the only party I listen to that I have
[19:23] Speaker 4: notifications turned on for.
[19:24] Speaker 1: Oh that's not Wow, Wow, big deal, honor deal.
[19:30] Speaker 2: What if y'all got separate airbnbs so that there was separation,
[19:36] Speaker 2: you felt like you had your time, and then y'all
[19:37] Speaker 2: also got to see each other and spend time together.
[19:43] Speaker 4: I think that would be not met not received well
[19:46] Speaker 4: by her sister.
[19:47] Speaker 2: I agree, But what what the other option would be
[19:51] Speaker 2: not going? Wouldn't that not be received all?
[19:53] Speaker 1: Yes?
[19:55] Speaker 2: So if it were me, I would say, Hey, I
[19:59] Speaker 2: love this idea of getting to spend time with y'all
[20:01] Speaker 2: and travel with y'all, But since we only take one
[20:03] Speaker 2: big vacation a year, you know, I just want to
[20:05] Speaker 2: make sure that we're both getting what we want out
[20:07] Speaker 2: of this vacation. And I think if we had separate
[20:10] Speaker 2: places that were like even close or walkable to each other,
[20:13] Speaker 2: if they can find that, I think that would get
[20:16] Speaker 2: that would be a win win for both of us.
[20:20] Speaker 4: I think, as far as the sister's concerned, your best
[20:23] Speaker 4: option is, we'd love to go.
[20:24] Speaker 3: It sounds great. Two, I'm sorry we can't make it.
[20:27] Speaker 4: Three is we'd love to come, but it's not spend
[20:30] Speaker 4: much time with you like I think that's how she'd
[20:31] Speaker 4: receive it.
[20:32] Speaker 1: I'm leaning towards option two, not going, not going.
[20:36] Speaker 3: I think one. I think go have fun.
[20:38] Speaker 4: It's your sister, you don't see her very often, and
[20:39] Speaker 4: it's your new nephew who you've barely spent any time
[20:42] Speaker 4: with because you don't live in the same city. Go
[20:43] Speaker 4: have a blast in Portugal with your sister.
[20:45] Speaker 2: It's her wife's sister.
[20:47] Speaker 3: Oh, but it's still it's your nephew.
[20:50] Speaker 6: Yeah.
[20:51] Speaker 2: But there is a different type of like.
[20:55] Speaker 7: Uh huh, what's the word like grace or what's the
[20:58] Speaker 7: word I'm looking for, Like like you have a little
[21:00] Speaker 7: more tolerance and capacity when it's your blood related sister
[21:04] Speaker 7: versus like I'm saying because she's the one who wrote in.
[21:09] Speaker 2: I will say this, Okay, traveling, what I hear is
[21:12] Speaker 2: traveling with a baby before one is the easiest time
[21:17] Speaker 2: while a child, Like while you have a child that's
[21:20] Speaker 2: like a baby like that, like the time before they
[21:22] Speaker 2: start walking is like the easiest time to travel with them,
[21:25] Speaker 2: is what I hear. So if you're gonna do this vacation,
[21:29] Speaker 2: I would say do it now.
[21:32] Speaker 1: I just feel like life, life's and things are happening,
[21:39] Speaker 1: and if this is your one chance of the year
[21:42] Speaker 1: to have that like uninterrupted time with your wife where
[21:45] Speaker 1: you it's like your one trip together that is like
[21:49] Speaker 1: so precious. You know, you work really hard, life happens.
[21:53] Speaker 1: If you want to spend more time with your nephew,
[21:58] Speaker 1: perhaps a weekend a trip to Portugal is like a
[22:01] Speaker 1: big trip, you know, like that's a big trip.
[22:04] Speaker 4: What a blessing that you can take an international trip
[22:06] Speaker 4: every year? So yeah, another one next year, I say, go,
[22:11] Speaker 4: I say, And by the way, a key element to
[22:13] Speaker 4: this that we don't have, how does your wife feel
[22:15] Speaker 4: about this? It's her family?
[22:17] Speaker 1: Well she said that her wife. No, her wife. They're
[22:19] Speaker 1: having reservations, which is why I am writing in all right, fine,
[22:23] Speaker 1: the more people, the more complicated against.
[22:26] Speaker 3: That plays a big role because it is her family.
[22:28] Speaker 2: Yeah, thank you.
[22:29] Speaker 5: I'm with Tanya in this one. And I would like
[22:31] Speaker 5: permission to be a brat for a second.
[22:33] Speaker 2: Be a brat.
[22:34] Speaker 5: Here's what I'm thinking when I see this. The sister
[22:37] Speaker 5: and her husband want a babysitter, so they That's what
[22:41] Speaker 5: I'm thinking.
[22:41] Speaker 3: Hey can you watch the kid? Well we got to dinner.
[22:43] Speaker 5: That's probably not going to happen, but and you probably
[22:46] Speaker 5: be delighted.
[22:46] Speaker 3: To do it.
[22:47] Speaker 5: But that's where I'm thinking. And When I hear like
[22:50] Speaker 5: new parents inviting other people, like wanting to go on
[22:52] Speaker 5: vacation with another couple, I think they're looking for babysitters.
[22:55] Speaker 2: She did say yes for house for help, like she
[22:58] Speaker 2: did acknowledge that that is probably a part of it,
[23:02] Speaker 2: and it's you know that's that would annoy me.
[23:04] Speaker 5: I'm just saying, as a as a bar and childless man.
[23:08] Speaker 2: With the two airbnbs, I think it's a win win.
[23:10] Speaker 1: I think you get your compromise.
[23:14] Speaker 2: You get to spend time with them when you want,
[23:15] Speaker 2: and then you also have your separate time. Because it'd
[23:18] Speaker 2: be different if if they were like, hey, we'll cover
[23:20] Speaker 2: y'all to come stay with us and and help out
[23:22] Speaker 2: with the baby if we need it. They're not doing that.
[23:25] Speaker 2: Do you get your own airbnb? Go to Portugal is
[23:28] Speaker 2: amazing from what I hear, It's one of Hailey's favorite places.
[23:30] Speaker 2: You travel to and you both get an amazing trip
[23:33] Speaker 2: and you get to spend time with your sister in
[23:35] Speaker 2: law and your nephew.
[23:37] Speaker 1: Charge it to the game.
[23:39] Speaker 2: Well, that leads us to our last question, which is
[23:41] Speaker 2: the Love Island question.
[23:42] Speaker 3: An all right here it is, well, we need one
[23:46] Speaker 3: more break.
[23:46] Speaker 1: Oh my god, if there's on the Love Island when.
[23:50] Speaker 4: We come back, great Kirsty Kirsty or Kirsty I'm not sure.
[24:15] Speaker 1: Which I think it's Kirsty.
[24:17] Speaker 3: Okay, you just get the vibe from the font.
[24:19] Speaker 1: Well because it's not a why Okay, I think.
[24:22] Speaker 3: Kirsty like Kirsty.
[24:23] Speaker 1: Wouldn't Kirsty be k why?
[24:30] Speaker 3: Firstly? Day one scrubber here? Just love you both to bits.
[24:33] Speaker 4: My question in quotes today is for Tanya, mostly since
[24:37] Speaker 4: she is my Love Island sister. I always loved Scott
[24:41] Speaker 4: in the other seasons and shows i've seen him on,
[24:44] Speaker 4: But do you think he's actually a bully on this
[24:46] Speaker 4: All Stars season? I don't like his behavior and I
[24:48] Speaker 4: find myself really disagreeing with his behavior this season. How
[24:51] Speaker 4: do you feel about him and the others that have been.
[24:53] Speaker 3: Not so nice?
[24:54] Speaker 4: Love you well and thanks for your continuous positivity you
[24:56] Speaker 4: bring to the world.
[24:58] Speaker 3: There you go, Tanya.
[24:58] Speaker 4: Maybe you guys could just do it offline.
[25:03] Speaker 1: I did not pick Kirsten. Kirst to Kirsten, Okay. This
[25:07] Speaker 1: email was put upon us.
[25:08] Speaker 2: Upon it us, it found you, it found me. Thank you, becha.
[25:12] Speaker 1: This is a DM that I would respond to if
[25:14] Speaker 1: it were DM to me, and it was not. It
[25:16] Speaker 1: was emailed in, So here we go. I have never
[25:18] Speaker 1: watched any of Scott's prior seasons, and I was totally
[25:22] Speaker 1: thrown off when he was voted the best liked guy
[25:27] Speaker 1: on the island because I find him to be atrocious.
[25:31] Speaker 1: I think he's so mean. I think he came into
[25:34] Speaker 1: the villa being mean to people. I feel like he
[25:37] Speaker 1: puts his nose in everybody's drama and I don't like him.
[25:42] Speaker 1: Hot take charge it, charge it. No, we're not charging
[25:46] Speaker 1: it because I don't like it.
[25:49] Speaker 2: Okay, So you agree with her. I agree he's a bully.
[25:52] Speaker 1: But I've never seen I haven't seen his past seasons,
[25:54] Speaker 1: like to know that like he was beloved before, because
[25:57] Speaker 1: this season he's just been I mean bully. But he
[26:00] Speaker 1: was voted by the public as the most liked guy.
[26:03] Speaker 1: So I was just totally thrown off by that.
[26:05] Speaker 2: Which we didn't talk about this on Monday's episode, but
[26:07] Speaker 2: Traders last week was crazy.
[26:12] Speaker 1: This show, this show is good.
[26:18] Speaker 2: The spoiler alert, spoiler alert, do you feel like Rob
[26:22] Speaker 2: is playing?
[26:23] Speaker 7: Like?
[26:23] Speaker 2: Do you think? Okay? So here's the controversial take. Rob
[26:28] Speaker 2: threw Lisa under the bus.
[26:31] Speaker 1: He did not need to do that.
[26:32] Speaker 2: He didn't have to go so hard, but he committed
[26:34] Speaker 2: and he did it. But then Candace. My thought was
[26:38] Speaker 2: that Haley thinks that it set her up to be
[26:42] Speaker 2: able to like that Rob's gonna have to play with her.
[26:45] Speaker 6: Yes, yes, so you think that too, Yes, because I
[26:47] Speaker 6: felt brilliant moved by I felt like she should have
[26:51] Speaker 6: not played the game against Lisa and just been like, Okay,
[26:55] Speaker 6: I'm gonna be watching Rob, but I don't want it
[26:58] Speaker 6: to come across that we're all traders together.
[27:00] Speaker 1: No, I fam with Haley. I think that Candace voting
[27:04] Speaker 1: for Rob makes makes it now that Rob needs to
[27:09] Speaker 1: needs to play with Candace because if they if it
[27:12] Speaker 1: comes out that he goes for her next, they're gonna
[27:16] Speaker 1: be like, why then, why did Candace have that random
[27:19] Speaker 1: vote for Rob? And then they're gonna get him?
[27:21] Speaker 2: I see.
[27:22] Speaker 1: I think it was Candace being I thought it was
[27:24] Speaker 1: so brilliant. I don't think she needed to say it
[27:26] Speaker 1: was a throwway vote. I think she could have just
[27:28] Speaker 1: been like, I don't think it's either of them. I'm
[27:30] Speaker 1: voting for Rob.
[27:31] Speaker 2: No, but I think a throwway vote made it didn't
[27:33] Speaker 2: feel so traitory and immediately because I think without saying oh,
[27:37] Speaker 2: it's a throwway vote, uh, people would have been.
[27:39] Speaker 1: Like why yeah, yeah, what do you think about Rob?
[27:42] Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, you're right all right. I'm excited to see
[27:45] Speaker 2: how it plays out. I thought it was gone. I
[27:48] Speaker 2: love her.
[27:48] Speaker 1: I just feel like Rob did it dirty because I
[27:51] Speaker 1: understand Lisa was a sinking ship. She was going home,
[27:53] Speaker 1: she was going to get voted off.
[27:55] Speaker 2: However, I feel they also did a bad job defending herself.
[27:58] Speaker 1: Yeah, anytime, anytime anybody accuses you of being a trader,
[28:01] Speaker 1: you always need to say I'm a faithful and she
[28:03] Speaker 1: was just like I'm like, okay, her ship was sinking.
[28:09] Speaker 1: But Rob could have just voted for her. He didn't
[28:11] Speaker 1: need to. He was doubling down and going in and
[28:14] Speaker 1: I don't think he needed to do that. I'm tired
[28:17] Speaker 1: of these men, these just hot men thinking they can
[28:19] Speaker 1: just run the show.
[28:20] Speaker 2: They can just be hot.
[28:21] Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's enough. Like no, and no, you're sitting
[28:24] Speaker 1: back and letting the girls do the dirty work and
[28:27] Speaker 1: you're just sitting there playing chess. I'm over it. I'm
[28:32] Speaker 1: so over it.
[28:33] Speaker 2: Easton, Before we go, how is Hillary duff in New York?
[28:37] Speaker 5: Oh my god, you guys, what an incredible experience. I
[28:42] Speaker 5: want to thank producer Sam for inviting me along getting
[28:46] Speaker 5: me to New York. I mean, I did not think
[28:49] Speaker 5: I was gonna get to go to any of the shows,
[28:51] Speaker 5: and I made it to New York City to see Hillary.
[28:54] Speaker 5: She was incredible. The new songs she played, I cannot
[28:57] Speaker 5: wait for that album to come out. Oh my god,
[28:59] Speaker 5: they're so good.
[29:00] Speaker 2: How many does she play in the show?
[29:01] Speaker 5: She plays two that haven't come out.
[29:03] Speaker 2: Yet, four new ones, four new ones?
[29:06] Speaker 3: Yes?
[29:07] Speaker 5: How many songs total?
[29:09] Speaker 3: Like twelve?
[29:10] Speaker 1: That's a lot. Wait, and I wanted to shout out
[29:12] Speaker 1: the scrubber that helped Crystal get tickets to what was
[29:15] Speaker 1: her name?
[29:15] Speaker 5: Her name is Ashley. She helped Crystal, who works on
[29:18] Speaker 5: the show, get into the LA show. So we all
[29:21] Speaker 5: because Sam, Crystal and I have like a Hillary Duff
[29:23] Speaker 5: like superfan group chat. So it was really fun that
[29:25] Speaker 5: all three of us got to go see Hillary on
[29:27] Speaker 5: this one.
[29:28] Speaker 1: So we wanted to thank Ashley for getting Crystaline.
[29:30] Speaker 5: Ashley, you are our guardian angel. Thank you so much
[29:33] Speaker 5: for doing that. It was it was great, it was
[29:35] Speaker 5: the best.
[29:36] Speaker 2: It was worth the track out there.
[29:37] Speaker 3: Oh my god.
[29:38] Speaker 5: Yeah, I went out during that snowstorm. I was going
[29:41] Speaker 5: to go a day early and like hang out in
[29:42] Speaker 5: New York, be a little Brooklyn boy, you know. And
[29:44] Speaker 5: then my flight got canceled, and every other flight got canceled,
[29:48] Speaker 5: so I took a red eye. I had like three
[29:50] Speaker 5: canceled flights. I took a red eye. They sent my
[29:53] Speaker 5: luggage to the wrong airport, so I had I landed
[29:55] Speaker 5: in New York. Then I had to go from Laguardian
[29:57] Speaker 5: to JFK. I got my luggage, then I went to
[29:59] Speaker 5: the hotel. I worked, And I'm very blessed to be
[30:02] Speaker 5: able to do this, but like I've had very good travel,
[30:05] Speaker 5: like my entire life. I was due some challenges.
[30:08] Speaker 2: Yeah it happens to us when you head there in
[30:10] Speaker 2: a snowstorm.
[30:11] Speaker 5: Yeah, you know, anyone else giving me.
[30:15] Speaker 1: But now Hillary is going on a world tour, world tour.
[30:18] Speaker 5: And I will be there, God willing will be at
[30:20] Speaker 5: one of those shows.
[30:21] Speaker 1: Which one I don't think she's announced.
[30:25] Speaker 5: She has said world tour loading at her l A
[30:27] Speaker 5: show and uh, oh my god. Wait at the at
[30:31] Speaker 5: the Brooklyn show. So someone in the front row asked
[30:34] Speaker 5: her to sing the math and I started, like I
[30:36] Speaker 5: almost sort of going into a cobbe. I almost started
[30:39] Speaker 5: to passed out, and she's like, oh, the Math, the Math.
[30:43] Speaker 5: We love the Math, but not tonight. And I was like, oh,
[30:46] Speaker 5: but it's on the table. I think the next show
[30:49] Speaker 5: somewhere surprise song, yes.
[30:51] Speaker 1: Exactly, Oh like a little Taylor Swift. Yeah, that'd be great.
[30:57] Speaker 2: Well worth the world for you.
[30:59] Speaker 5: Thank you.
[31:00] Speaker 1: I was a little bummed not to have seen it,
[31:02] Speaker 1: so I'll be hitting that world tour.
[31:04] Speaker 2: Oh wow, that's right. Was a little left out I did.
[31:07] Speaker 1: Yeah, I was like I wanted to have the butterfly
[31:09] Speaker 1: confetti on me.
[31:10] Speaker 2: Yeah, you deserve butterfly confetti. Yeah, I'll bring some over here.
[31:13] Speaker 2: Thank you. We'll play Hillary Duff over the speaker. Yeah,
[31:17] Speaker 2: that's all for today on Dear Bonnie. I thank you
[31:19] Speaker 2: for writing to us, and you can DM us on
[31:21] Speaker 2: Instagram at scrubbing in pod or email us at scrubbing
[31:24] Speaker 2: In at iHeartMedia dot com if you ever have questions, concerns,
[31:27] Speaker 2: or you know, just need advice, yeah or love. We
[31:31] Speaker 2: love y'all so much and have a wonderful weekend.
[31:34] Speaker 1: Love you by

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