# Dear Banya: Made of Honor

An episode of [Scrubbing In with Becca Tilley & Tanya Rad](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1279955329), 19 Feb 2026, 32 min.

Audio: https://podtrac.com/pts/redirect.mp3/arttrk.com/p/D5CA5/pdst.fm/e/pscrb.fm/rss/p/traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/009b23ef-9bd1-4caf-a592-ae3101631380/33fe47b8-344e-4e08-811d-b3f600b973cf/audio.mp3?utm_source=Podcast&in_playlist=7e804438-d6f3-48a0-9de8-ae310163138e

We’re back with more Dear Banya questions, and could we be closer to our official jingle?? The audition process has begun! We try to help a Scrubber with some Maid of Honor duties that are quickly getting out of hand, what to do when your boyfriend is tossing too many “Likes” to celeb bikini pics, and we revisit Tanya’s psychic experience. Plus… we get into the latest season of Traitors! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

## Transcript

[0:00] Speaker 1: Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya rad and iHeartRadio
[0:04] Speaker 1: and two times People's Choice Award winning podcast Hello everybody,
[0:12] Speaker 1: we are sprubbing in.
[0:16] Speaker 2: Mm hmmm, Tanya forgot what she was just to say
[0:19] Speaker 2: for open spoiler alert.
[0:21] Speaker 1: We're in a different studio and when I don't hear
[0:23] Speaker 1: the jingle into the podcast, I am a little throne.
[0:26] Speaker 2: We just recorded an I'm a little throne.
[0:29] Speaker 1: Okay, it is Thursday Thursday, which means traders, traders.
[0:37] Speaker 2: Jas here's my favorite. First of all, I love her
[0:42] Speaker 2: and I love her accent. I love you.
[0:45] Speaker 1: Have to watch her season of Love Island. I've tried.
[0:48] Speaker 2: That's the only one I have tried to watch three times.
[0:51] Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, how do you not like this show?
[0:54] Speaker 2: It's oh, you know what, I never watched a full season,
[0:57] Speaker 2: and now that I've watched USA USA and watched it
[1:00] Speaker 2: in its entirety, I think maybe I get it more.
[1:03] Speaker 1: Yeah.
[1:04] Speaker 2: But also it's a lot of I do feel it's
[1:07] Speaker 2: a lot of.
[1:07] Speaker 1: Commitment the way that I want. I'm like the fact
[1:09] Speaker 1: that these people are just every day just in their bikinis,
[1:12] Speaker 1: like sitting down, standing up, like making these toasts to
[1:17] Speaker 1: each other. Like, I'm like, it's such a weird thing
[1:19] Speaker 1: that they're just like in their bikinis all day, just
[1:22] Speaker 1: like talking and chatting and like dating. It's so funny
[1:25] Speaker 1: to me.
[1:26] Speaker 2: Yeah, it makes the Bachelor look like totally normal, Totally.
[1:30] Speaker 1: I wouldn't want to do anything in my bikini that
[1:33] Speaker 1: many days in a row.
[1:34] Speaker 2: You'd have to. You'd be like, I need have you
[1:35] Speaker 2: gotten the water? You'd be like to go change.
[1:38] Speaker 3: Yeah.
[1:38] Speaker 1: I'd be changing my bathings to every five minutes because
[1:40] Speaker 1: I don't want to get a uti.
[1:43] Speaker 2: Okay, so Traders at this point. At first, I was like, Okay,
[1:49] Speaker 2: I always am rooting for the Faithfuls to figure it out.
[1:51] Speaker 2: At this point, I want Rob to win because the
[1:54] Speaker 2: faith Balls are so dumb.
[1:55] Speaker 1: That I'm like, they're digmatized.
[1:58] Speaker 2: Yeah, they're like so upsetsed with him. He could be
[2:01] Speaker 2: a cult leader.
[2:03] Speaker 1: It's you know what this season has made me realize,
[2:05] Speaker 1: I don't know if you're gonna have to bleep that, huh.
[2:08] Speaker 1: I can't say stigmatize on Okay, run it by the
[2:11] Speaker 1: higher ups. It's like such a fascinating study of human
[2:19] Speaker 1: behavior because spoiler alert, when Candice got banished and they
[2:24] Speaker 1: found out that she was a trader and she was
[2:26] Speaker 1: going so hard for Rob and doing the trow a
[2:29] Speaker 1: vote for Rob the week before, like the fact that
[2:33] Speaker 1: nobody more picked up on it slightly, And then she
[2:36] Speaker 1: was just like, but why would she do that to you?
[2:39] Speaker 1: You're such a faithful And I'm like, how are you
[2:41] Speaker 1: guys so enamored with this man that you cannot see
[2:46] Speaker 1: that he's a trader.
[2:47] Speaker 2: I don't know, but he has something where he's like
[2:51] Speaker 2: put a spell on them, a spell.
[2:55] Speaker 1: Guys and girls are under us his spell.
[2:57] Speaker 2: Not even a single person. Like Natalie apologized to them
[3:03] Speaker 2: for getting Steven out, like for leading the charge against Steve,
[3:06] Speaker 2: and she's like, I'm really sorry, guys, Like you're apologizing
[3:11] Speaker 2: to the traders. And she's supposed to be a game player.
[3:14] Speaker 1: Yeah, she's a good game player, and she she's she's
[3:18] Speaker 1: under his spell.
[3:19] Speaker 2: They are.
[3:20] Speaker 1: It is so crazy to me, Like, I I don't
[3:25] Speaker 1: the producer is picking him to be a trader was brilliant.
[3:29] Speaker 2: I don't think they could have ever predicted that someone
[3:33] Speaker 2: would have such a hold on everybody.
[3:36] Speaker 1: It is, but I feel it's even alluding to it
[3:38] Speaker 1: all season, Like now that I'm like looking back on
[3:40] Speaker 1: other episodes, like I feel like Jam Jam was like
[3:43] Speaker 1: oh Rob, like come whisk me away, and like Johnny
[3:46] Speaker 1: was always like flirting with Rob, and like all the
[3:49] Speaker 1: girls like Derinda was like obsessed with me. Yeah, like
[3:53] Speaker 1: nobody but but and he was playing an amazing game,
[3:57] Speaker 1: Like I actually thought that he was a really good
[3:59] Speaker 1: trader aside from everybody just like being under his spell.
[4:02] Speaker 2: Rob herader.
[4:04] Speaker 1: No, he made one fatal, fatal mistake in my personal opinion,
[4:11] Speaker 1: the vote where it was between Ron and Lisa and
[4:17] Speaker 1: his heart was telling him he can't vote for Ron,
[4:20] Speaker 1: and he voted for Lisa. He should have voted for Ron,
[4:24] Speaker 1: because then that made Candace, It made all of them
[4:29] Speaker 1: kind of like not trust him, and then Candace going
[4:32] Speaker 1: so hard on him, I thought would be a total giveaway.
[4:36] Speaker 1: Like I'm like, I was like, now Rob is screwed
[4:38] Speaker 1: because Candace is going out so hard. Once they find
[4:40] Speaker 1: out she's a trader, they're going to know that he's
[4:42] Speaker 1: also a trader. So that, in my opinion, I was like,
[4:45] Speaker 1: he should have voted for Ron. He would have been banished,
[4:48] Speaker 1: and then Lisa and Candace wouldn't have been like so
[4:50] Speaker 1: upset with him. He would that would have been an
[4:52] Speaker 1: amazing gameplay.
[4:53] Speaker 2: In any other season.
[4:57] Speaker 1: That was his biggest mistake in my personal opinion.
[5:00] Speaker 2: They don't care. They're so far they're.
[5:02] Speaker 1: So far up it. I cannot believe it he's gonna win.
[5:07] Speaker 2: I meet him because I'm like, what is it about you?
[5:10] Speaker 2: Is it because I obviously he's very cute, Like I
[5:13] Speaker 2: think he's so cute, But I'm also like, is it
[5:16] Speaker 2: because he is? I almost feel like he has that
[5:19] Speaker 2: thing where he's so cute that he has to do
[5:21] Speaker 2: like the bare minimum. So I feel like he's very nice,
[5:23] Speaker 2: but like nonchalant, doesn't give anyone too much, so they're
[5:26] Speaker 2: like yearning for his life.
[5:29] Speaker 1: Is so weird. I've never seen anything like it on television.
[5:34] Speaker 2: It's crazy.
[5:34] Speaker 1: It's crazy. If he doesn't win this season, I'm gonna
[5:38] Speaker 1: be shocked. I know no one's on him, even though
[5:42] Speaker 1: they Tea should be the.
[5:43] Speaker 2: Next one gone. When when Kristen was saying, if I
[5:49] Speaker 2: get murdered tonight, it's gonna be Eric, I'm like, she
[5:52] Speaker 2: has just set him up to throw Eric under the bus.
[5:56] Speaker 1: Oh cool, Rob? Yeah, yeah, I'm curious to what Rob
[6:00] Speaker 1: does if he does throw Eric under the bus or
[6:03] Speaker 1: if he tries to help him.
[6:04] Speaker 2: It's going to be a big episode if they're able
[6:06] Speaker 2: to get him out.
[6:08] Speaker 1: Rob, I just don't.
[6:10] Speaker 2: I mean, no, it seems like there's no.
[6:12] Speaker 1: Chance he's going to the end. And he's like, I
[6:14] Speaker 1: think he's winning. That's my prediction. He's winning the whole thing.
[6:17] Speaker 2: Wow. Yeah, yeah, I mean I don't see a world
[6:19] Speaker 2: where he does unless he does something just really out
[6:21] Speaker 2: of no word.
[6:22] Speaker 1: That's unless Eric also tries throwing him under the bus.
[6:26] Speaker 1: I get a round table. I think he will. Why
[6:28] Speaker 1: he chose there, I know, I don't think he will.
[6:31] Speaker 2: I could just see Rob literally looking them directly in
[6:33] Speaker 2: the face and being like, I'm a Trader and they're like, no,
[6:36] Speaker 2: you're too much about face. Who say that?
[6:39] Speaker 4: Yeah?
[6:39] Speaker 1: Who's making you say that? But you know, The Trader's
[6:41] Speaker 1: finale is next week?
[6:44] Speaker 2: Oh so we have tonight and then we have next week.
[6:46] Speaker 1: Yeah. I'm like, we're going to be in the Bahamas,
[6:49] Speaker 1: so we're gonna have to like VPN or do some things.
[6:52] Speaker 2: I'm so excited about the Bahamas. Yeah, but you're really
[6:56] Speaker 2: bummed about that.
[6:57] Speaker 1: Well, I'm missing the Season fifty Survivor premiere and the
[7:00] Speaker 1: Traders finally. So it's really a for a TV addict.
[7:05] Speaker 1: That's a big blockbuster week for me.
[7:07] Speaker 2: This is a big This is a big step for
[7:09] Speaker 2: you and your addiction.
[7:10] Speaker 1: Yeah, it is a big step.
[7:12] Speaker 2: We had to plan a trip to the Bahamas to
[7:14] Speaker 2: get Tanya away from the television.
[7:16] Speaker 1: Yes, but these are also two shows that we watch
[7:18] Speaker 1: as a family, so.
[7:19] Speaker 2: They're having to wait for you.
[7:21] Speaker 1: I don't know what they're gonna do. I wouldn't hold
[7:22] Speaker 1: it against them if they watched without me. I would
[7:25] Speaker 1: allow that because I would want to watch. I'm trying
[7:29] Speaker 1: to give myself the grace to watch in the Bahamas
[7:32] Speaker 1: without them.
[7:33] Speaker 2: That makes Oh, I see, you know what I mean?
[7:35] Speaker 1: Yeah, tip for tet.
[7:37] Speaker 2: You know what that I was gonna say that.
[7:38] Speaker 4: Was sacrifice love, sacrifice to sacrifice flus.
[7:50] Speaker 2: Speaking of jingles, we have some new Dear Banya jingles
[7:54] Speaker 2: that I am very excited to hear. But first we're
[7:57] Speaker 2: going to take a break. All right, we're back. So
[8:15] Speaker 2: we have more jingle submissions for Dear Bonnia. And before
[8:18] Speaker 2: we start the Dear Bonia segment, we thought why not
[8:21] Speaker 2: test him out here?
[8:22] Speaker 1: Yeah, so have we have a few.
[8:26] Speaker 5: Everyone was very inspired, which is awesome. First, we're gonna
[8:30] Speaker 5: start off with it. This is from DJ Poppins, who
[8:33] Speaker 5: has contributed to this program before.
[8:36] Speaker 1: We're big fans, Big fans, Big fans.
[8:38] Speaker 5: Here is the submission from GJ. Poppins did a remix
[8:42] Speaker 5: of Sacrifice for Love, which we were just seeing. Here
[8:45] Speaker 5: is the submission from DJ Poppins for Dear Bonia, Oh.
[8:48] Speaker 6: You gotta call with the question on ya I have idea,
[8:54] Speaker 6: Dear Bonya.
[8:58] Speaker 1: It's still giving Miss Rachel, it still is it?
[9:01] Speaker 2: Maybe just the melody of the jingle because it us.
[9:05] Speaker 5: It might be us, It might be that might be
[9:08] Speaker 5: You're another one East. Here's Maureen. Maureen says, hey, there's Scrubs.
[9:12] Speaker 5: Longtime listener and fellow Gray is no longer watcher. I'm
[9:15] Speaker 5: no Haley Kyoko, but I love to fiddle around with
[9:17] Speaker 5: music making How to take a whack at a Dear
[9:19] Speaker 5: Bondy jingle? Tiny is very committed performance of up by
[9:21] Speaker 5: Shania Twain at the end of last week's pod was
[9:23] Speaker 5: my inspo. Hope you like it. Thanks for keeping me
[9:26] Speaker 5: company in the car. Lease heres, thanks Maureen. Here's your song.
[9:32] Speaker 2: Okay, who you gonna call?
[9:36] Speaker 1: Question?
[9:39] Speaker 6: I have idea dear Banya, I'm realizing it's it's totally
[9:50] Speaker 6: us lay out on the beat of our it's our
[9:53] Speaker 6: voice melody.
[9:54] Speaker 2: It has to be not so missus, Rachel.
[9:58] Speaker 1: Maybe we give some more rock tracks.
[10:03] Speaker 5: Let's see one more. This is from Brianna and this
[10:06] Speaker 5: is a new uh, a new idea for a jingle.
[10:09] Speaker 5: This is not your voice, this is singing.
[10:12] Speaker 4: Okay when you need a second opinion because you don't
[10:16] Speaker 4: know what to do right, Dear Banya, We're here for you.
[10:21] Speaker 2: Wow, here's the thing.
[10:22] Speaker 1: I like it too.
[10:23] Speaker 2: I like it too. All great. I'm realizing it's our
[10:27] Speaker 2: jingle that is hard to add music too without it
[10:31] Speaker 2: sound sounding like a children's show.
[10:33] Speaker 5: Yeah, one more, one more, Amy says, Hey, Banya and Meston,
[10:39] Speaker 5: this is my passage, dear Bonie, jingle would love to
[10:41] Speaker 5: hear we all think about it. Feel free to take
[10:43] Speaker 5: bits of it in tweak is however you want. I'm
[10:44] Speaker 5: a day one scruber and I love tuning in every
[10:46] Speaker 5: single week for the record, Tanya, I did love the
[10:48] Speaker 5: scrubb it of dub tagline and I find myself missing it.
[10:53] Speaker 2: Uh.
[10:54] Speaker 5: Hope to hear from you all soon over the airwaves.
[10:56] Speaker 5: Here's Amy's song, Oh you gotta.
[10:59] Speaker 2: Come the question on you?
[11:02] Speaker 7: I have an idea.
[11:09] Speaker 2: Wow, I like some addition. I don't know adition. Yeah.
[11:13] Speaker 1: I like the ring because it's like the sound effect
[11:16] Speaker 1: is awesome.
[11:16] Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, So I think what needs to happen, yeah,
[11:22] Speaker 2: is we need.
[11:23] Speaker 1: To find sounding a little like childreny.
[11:28] Speaker 2: You know, it's a jingle, so it has a jingle.
[11:32] Speaker 2: It's going to have a jingle cadence to it. But
[11:37] Speaker 2: I think we need to give them more to work
[11:38] Speaker 2: with because.
[11:39] Speaker 1: The way the way we Okay, so give me an example.
[11:44] Speaker 2: We could do a wrap.
[11:46] Speaker 1: With a question you haven't got an idea?
[11:49] Speaker 2: Okay, go who are you going to call with the
[11:52] Speaker 2: question on you?
[11:53] Speaker 1: I have an idea, callot no.
[11:55] Speaker 2: Dear, we say it together. Okay, who are the to
[12:00] Speaker 2: call with the question on you?
[12:01] Speaker 1: I have an idea, Dear Bonya, Oh it's my voice.
[12:08] Speaker 2: Well you do your sonic the Hedgehog there, Yeah, it
[12:10] Speaker 2: just happens.
[12:11] Speaker 1: Maybe we just do one more that's like a little
[12:13] Speaker 1: sing songy, so like oh yeah, gonna where.
[12:22] Speaker 2: Yeah, go ahead, you're gonna call with the question on you.
[12:31] Speaker 1: I have an idea, Dear Bonya. It might just have
[12:37] Speaker 1: to be miss Rachel. It just flows. It feels on
[12:42] Speaker 1: brand kind of.
[12:44] Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know if we want that.
[12:47] Speaker 1: Well, the problem is it's more on brand for me,
[12:49] Speaker 1: less on brand for you, the cool one.
[12:52] Speaker 4: I don't know.
[12:52] Speaker 2: I'm cool, but.
[12:53] Speaker 1: You're much cooler than I. It's fine. I can say that.
[12:57] Speaker 1: People know.
[12:59] Speaker 2: I think that it's just finding a little more balance
[13:03] Speaker 2: of it. We're going to continue the search, but I
[13:07] Speaker 2: think this part, I'm realizing it's on us.
[13:10] Speaker 1: Yes, it is on us, but I don't hate it.
[13:12] Speaker 2: But again, I'm really grateful for the submissions. It's not you,
[13:16] Speaker 2: it's us. We need to rearrange some things.
[13:20] Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, and maybe.
[13:21] Speaker 2: We should get in the studio with a jingle.
[13:23] Speaker 1: Creator, jingle jangle.
[13:26] Speaker 2: A jingle producer. Okay, I'll look into it. I see
[13:31] Speaker 2: if Haley has anyone that she could recon I.
[13:33] Speaker 1: Have someone I think we could work with. That's right,
[13:37] Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, you are on radio. Yeah, I think
[13:40] Speaker 1: I have someone.
[13:41] Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, all right, stay tuned. The search continues, and
[13:44] Speaker 2: let's get into some dear bonia.
[13:46] Speaker 1: Let's do it, all right.
[13:48] Speaker 5: This was from Anonymous trying to be a good made
[13:50] Speaker 5: of honor. Dear Bonnie and Mark and Easton. Hi, I'm
[13:53] Speaker 5: a d one listener and I love you all. Hoping
[13:55] Speaker 5: to get some advice on my best friend's wedding. She
[13:57] Speaker 5: is the Tanya to my Becca. She gotta engage this fall,
[14:00] Speaker 5: and I'm trying so hard to be the best made
[14:01] Speaker 5: of honor and be excited for her in the stage,
[14:04] Speaker 5: which I am. I couldn't be happier that she found
[14:06] Speaker 5: her person, but I just can't seem to find the
[14:08] Speaker 5: motivation to want to be involved with all the wedding events.
[14:10] Speaker 5: I had a baby just over a year ago, and
[14:12] Speaker 5: my life has changed so much. Wedding things just feel
[14:15] Speaker 5: like a low priority for me. I'm trying to juggle
[14:17] Speaker 5: learning how to be a mom to a toddler, working
[14:19] Speaker 5: full time, and moving. My husband and I just bought
[14:21] Speaker 5: our dream forever home. My best friend also lives out
[14:24] Speaker 5: of state, so I have to buy a five hundred
[14:26] Speaker 5: dollars flight every time she has a wedding event. So far,
[14:28] Speaker 5: I've already traveled twice for her wedding events engagement party
[14:31] Speaker 5: and wedding dress shopping, and I have at least three
[14:33] Speaker 5: more trips planned for wedding shower, bachelorette party and the
[14:36] Speaker 5: wedding itself. I want to be involved, but feeling like
[14:39] Speaker 5: this is a low priority for me and having to
[14:40] Speaker 5: spend insane amounts of money is just putting more stress
[14:43] Speaker 5: on me, not to mention that I'm expected to also
[14:45] Speaker 5: plan the bachelorette which I don't even know when I'll
[14:47] Speaker 5: find the time to do. She did all these things
[14:50] Speaker 5: for me when she was my maid of honor, so
[14:51] Speaker 5: I really want to return the favor and be there
[14:53] Speaker 5: for her. It also doesn't help that she's been distant lately.
[14:56] Speaker 5: She's busy with her newer friends who are local, and
[14:58] Speaker 5: she doesn't talk with me nearly as much as we
[15:00] Speaker 5: used to, not for lack of trying on my side.
[15:02] Speaker 5: She has no idea I feel this way. I've been
[15:04] Speaker 5: putting on a happy face and being supportive. So should
[15:06] Speaker 5: I push through and put myself in debt or try
[15:08] Speaker 5: to reduce my involvement slightly? And if so, how do
[15:11] Speaker 5: I approach that conversation? Thank you, you're amazing, This made
[15:14] Speaker 5: of dishonor.
[15:15] Speaker 2: Oh I I will say, do not put yourself in
[15:21] Speaker 2: debt for this. This is not something your friend wouldn't
[15:23] Speaker 2: want you to put yourself in debt for this. I
[15:26] Speaker 2: do think maybe there's a like I loved that Tanya
[15:33] Speaker 2: had co mos because Paulina is organized, she's a planner,
[15:38] Speaker 2: and so we were able to kind of bounce off
[15:40] Speaker 2: of each other and help each other with like the
[15:42] Speaker 2: things that we were good at. And I think you
[15:46] Speaker 2: should maybe connect with her newer friends who are local
[15:49] Speaker 2: with her and just lean on them, Like I would
[15:52] Speaker 2: just be like, hey, I know that you know I'm
[15:55] Speaker 2: the maid of honor, but being out of state, I've
[15:57] Speaker 2: really like I feel a little bit overwhelmed with responsibility.
[16:00] Speaker 2: Is there anyway that y'all that we can kind of
[16:03] Speaker 2: delegate certain things for different people, because you've said, well,
[16:07] Speaker 2: I'll let you talk to this, but you were like,
[16:10] Speaker 2: I wish I had just made everyone a maid of
[16:12] Speaker 2: honor because we all, like you know, we're equally involved
[16:16] Speaker 2: in all the things. Yeah, And I think to the
[16:23] Speaker 2: scrub or too anonymous, if you're able to kind of
[16:25] Speaker 2: just reach out and like not put it all on yourself,
[16:28] Speaker 2: they all should be taking responsibility and being a part
[16:31] Speaker 2: of like celebrating her.
[16:33] Speaker 1: And I also think too, like you're saying that she
[16:36] Speaker 1: knows your friend doesn't know any of this is going
[16:38] Speaker 1: on your head. I do think having a conversation with
[16:40] Speaker 1: her and not making it like starting off by saying,
[16:44] Speaker 1: like I want to be there for you. I want
[16:45] Speaker 1: to be the best made of honor that I possibly can,
[16:47] Speaker 1: But like I can't travel as much as I've been traveling.
[16:50] Speaker 1: Can we prioritize, like what's really important for you for
[16:54] Speaker 1: me to be there for? Maybe you can FaceTime for
[16:56] Speaker 1: a couple dress shopping to me, Like if my friends
[17:00] Speaker 1: couldn't come to draw, I could care less, do you
[17:03] Speaker 1: know what I mean? I definitely needed like at least
[17:06] Speaker 1: one person there every time I went, but like I
[17:08] Speaker 1: didn't need everybody there all the time. So like she
[17:11] Speaker 1: might not need you to come out for dress shopping
[17:13] Speaker 1: and that's five hundred dollars less in your you know
[17:15] Speaker 1: what I mean? So I think having that conversation with her,
[17:18] Speaker 1: I do think as a best friend, she will understand
[17:20] Speaker 1: that you're trying to juggle all these things, especially if
[17:21] Speaker 1: you just moved and you just had a baby. But
[17:24] Speaker 1: I also think that there's ways that you can be
[17:26] Speaker 1: involved and show your love and support without physically being
[17:31] Speaker 1: there for every single thing, Do you know what I mean?
[17:33] Speaker 1: Like it's just coming up and being creative in different ways,
[17:37] Speaker 1: and I think she would not want you to go
[17:39] Speaker 1: into debt. I think there's lots of things that you
[17:42] Speaker 1: can do that show that you care that don't involve
[17:45] Speaker 1: flying out or spending money, checking in with her, constantly
[17:50] Speaker 1: checking in, sending her any like inspo, asking her if
[17:54] Speaker 1: she needs any help, or anything you can do to
[17:56] Speaker 1: help organize. I know you're saying it seems like a
[17:58] Speaker 1: low priority because you just had a baby, and I
[18:00] Speaker 1: can't speak to that because I've never had a baby,
[18:02] Speaker 1: But I also think this is a time in your
[18:04] Speaker 1: best friend's life. This is her top priority and this
[18:07] Speaker 1: is her only chance, so she's going to get to
[18:09] Speaker 1: have this wedding. And especially because you said she was
[18:12] Speaker 1: so there for you when you were doing it, I
[18:13] Speaker 1: think you need to remember how important and how special
[18:16] Speaker 1: that was for you in that season of life, so
[18:19] Speaker 1: that you can show up for her in that season
[18:21] Speaker 1: of life given what you're going through right now.
[18:25] Speaker 2: Yeah, I think I have an honest conversation because you're
[18:28] Speaker 2: saying you feel like she's being distant, and if y'all are,
[18:31] Speaker 2: if you're so close that you're each other's maid of honor.
[18:33] Speaker 2: You probably know each other really well, like, yeah, I
[18:36] Speaker 2: can tell even o her text when Tanya is distant
[18:39] Speaker 2: for me.
[18:40] Speaker 1: So I was, I know, I was angry last week,
[18:43] Speaker 1: I know, and I.
[18:44] Speaker 2: Could feel that.
[18:45] Speaker 1: I I felt that you could feel that because you
[18:49] Speaker 1: followed up with several texts after and I was like,
[18:51] Speaker 1: I'm just gonna thumbs them up.
[18:52] Speaker 2: I know, and I felt that. But I think the
[18:55] Speaker 2: thing is she's probably sensing that you're feeling overwhelmed and
[18:58] Speaker 2: can tell that it's not priority for you, which is
[19:01] Speaker 2: totally valid because you're a lot going on. But I
[19:04] Speaker 2: think have an honest conversation with her, be like I
[19:07] Speaker 2: am so excited to celebrate you and to be fully transparent,
[19:11] Speaker 2: like I feel like I'm drowning, and I feel like
[19:14] Speaker 2: it's just I'm feeling a little overwhelmed. I want to
[19:18] Speaker 2: be there for you, like what Tanya was saying, whether
[19:20] Speaker 2: it's facetiming in on the dress, you know, fittings. I can't,
[19:24] Speaker 2: I realistically cannot be there for every single one right now,
[19:27] Speaker 2: but I want to be there in the way that
[19:28] Speaker 2: I can. I want to be able to help you
[19:30] Speaker 2: organize things and plan things from afart whatever I can
[19:33] Speaker 2: do to help that's not me physically being there.
[19:38] Speaker 1: And when you are physically there, like especially even like
[19:40] Speaker 1: the wedding weekend, when you're physically there, try to make
[19:43] Speaker 1: it a priority to like help her in ways and yeah.
[19:46] Speaker 2: Like steaming the clothes, getting everything ready, like just like
[19:50] Speaker 2: being there and doing things that alleviate her stress or
[19:54] Speaker 2: whatever she's feeling. But I think when you're made of honor,
[19:59] Speaker 2: like you can just be transparent. She's not oblivious to
[20:04] Speaker 2: the fact that you have a lot going on, but
[20:06] Speaker 2: her priority is her wedding, And so I think you
[20:09] Speaker 2: reach out to the to the other girls and just
[20:11] Speaker 2: be like, hey, is there any way we can kind
[20:13] Speaker 2: of that that y'all can take on some of this
[20:16] Speaker 2: because I really want to show up for her, but
[20:18] Speaker 2: it's just not realistic. But do not go into debt
[20:21] Speaker 2: over this.
[20:22] Speaker 1: This is crazy and I feel like you're just doing
[20:24] Speaker 1: all this because you're not having the conversation with her.
[20:26] Speaker 1: And I think once you have the conversation with her,
[20:27] Speaker 1: you're gonna feel so much better.
[20:28] Speaker 2: Yeah, you're gonna feel lighter. So I would say give
[20:31] Speaker 2: yourself a moment to be a maid of honor by
[20:34] Speaker 2: having an honest conversation with the bride and relieving yourself
[20:39] Speaker 2: of some of the expectations.
[20:41] Speaker 1: Oh you gotta call with the question on ya. I
[20:46] Speaker 1: have an idea, we Dear Bonya, that.
[20:50] Speaker 2: That we miss some of these jingle options. We have
[20:53] Speaker 2: one more submission.
[20:54] Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, yes, let us let us hear it Easton.
[20:58] Speaker 5: Let's play one more that we got this from honor.
[21:00] Speaker 2: Huh.
[21:00] Speaker 3: Here we go high screaming and team apologies in advance
[21:05] Speaker 3: because I'm a little bit sick. But this is my
[21:07] Speaker 3: idea for a new Dear Bonya intro. It's supposed to
[21:12] Speaker 3: be like if it sounds muffled through a microphone, or
[21:17] Speaker 3: at least have a sound effect similar to that.
[21:20] Speaker 2: But this is what it would sound like.
[21:22] Speaker 7: He I think we need Yeah, you know what, perfect Okay, but.
[21:39] Speaker 5: You know, honest defense, I did put the effect on there,
[21:41] Speaker 5: and it was probably a little too heavy out there,
[21:43] Speaker 5: kind of fast. But yeah, that's a that's another like
[21:46] Speaker 5: the muffled idea.
[21:47] Speaker 1: Yeah, like like, oh like should we call? Should we
[21:50] Speaker 1: not a lot to work with here?
[21:52] Speaker 2: Yeah, we have a we have a lot of ideas.
[21:54] Speaker 2: Think you'll are the best thing.
[21:56] Speaker 1: Okay, We're gonna go to We're gonna take a quick break, Yu,
[22:00] Speaker 1: We're gonna come back because somebody's liking and boyfriend is
[22:05] Speaker 1: liking some thirst trap Instagram posts.
[22:08] Speaker 8: Yeah, all right, we're back.
[22:28] Speaker 7: He that.
[22:29] Speaker 1: Wow did you hear that?
[22:30] Speaker 5: A deep inhale?
[22:31] Speaker 6: Yeah?
[22:33] Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, a severe sniff there. I'm so sorry.
[22:37] Speaker 5: This is from anonymous. Uh, dear Becket, Tanya Mark and Easton.
[22:41] Speaker 5: I've noticed my boyfriend quickly likes alone or free Oh
[22:45] Speaker 5: sorry frequently.
[22:46] Speaker 4: Uh.
[22:47] Speaker 5: I've noticed that my boyfriend frequently likes Alona Mars Instagram post,
[22:50] Speaker 5: especially ones where she's posing or looking sexy. She's obviously
[22:53] Speaker 5: a beautiful woman, and I totally understand we all have
[22:55] Speaker 5: celebrity crushes. That said, liking almost every single post feels
[22:58] Speaker 5: a bit much to me. I can't help but feel
[23:01] Speaker 5: a little insecure, especially since I don't look like her.
[23:03] Speaker 5: I'm not sure if this is something I should bring
[23:05] Speaker 5: up with him or if I'm overthinking it. For context,
[23:07] Speaker 5: for both thirty and I've been dating for about four months.
[23:09] Speaker 5: Thanks in advance for the advice.
[23:12] Speaker 1: Oh, the dating for four months makes it tricky, I know,
[23:17] Speaker 1: because you can't like, you can't show your cards fully.
[23:24] Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, you can if not now.
[23:26] Speaker 1: When, if not two years in who you.
[23:31] Speaker 2: I think you should just say, hey, I have noticed
[23:35] Speaker 2: that you always like alone of Mars Instagram photos and
[23:43] Speaker 2: for whatever reason, it triggers an insecurity in me, and
[23:47] Speaker 2: I obviously want to make sure that I'm working on
[23:50] Speaker 2: that part of myself. But I, for me, it feels
[23:54] Speaker 2: it makes me feel a little disrespected. When you're liking
[23:57] Speaker 2: another girl's like sexy photos. Maybe you don't even say Alona,
[24:02] Speaker 2: maybe you just say I notice on Instagram, I see
[24:05] Speaker 2: your name pop up, and it'll be like a sexy
[24:07] Speaker 2: photo of.
[24:07] Speaker 1: A I feel like not saying maybe not saying that,
[24:10] Speaker 1: like you notice that he's liking all of her photos
[24:12] Speaker 1: specifically mm hmm, but maybe saying.
[24:15] Speaker 2: There's some people I follow where I see you.
[24:17] Speaker 1: It's the it's the sexy ones that really is like
[24:21] Speaker 1: the issue. It's not liking another sports photo, sport photos.
[24:25] Speaker 1: It's like, it's the sexy photos. And I feel like
[24:27] Speaker 1: that's what's throwing you. So I feel like that's the conversation,
[24:32] Speaker 1: Like that would if Robbie were liking photos of like
[24:35] Speaker 1: girls in their bikinis, it would make me feel a
[24:37] Speaker 1: certain type of way. Absolutely, I would not like it.
[24:40] Speaker 2: I think you're totally valid. I mean that's I think
[24:43] Speaker 2: you know, everyone's.
[24:44] Speaker 1: Different, Like four months are they if they're just dating,
[24:48] Speaker 1: If they're not boyfriend and girlfriend, then that's like his
[24:51] Speaker 1: door is.
[24:52] Speaker 2: Yeah, technically you're not official.
[24:55] Speaker 1: If you're not closed off, then like she doesn't really
[24:58] Speaker 1: have you know what I mean, she doesn't. I don't say, right,
[25:00] Speaker 1: but like you know, as you progress in your relationship,
[25:03] Speaker 1: it does make things more serious. It does give you
[25:05] Speaker 1: kind of more free rein to kind of have these conversations.
[25:08] Speaker 2: Right.
[25:08] Speaker 1: If they're just dating, they're not closed off, they're just chatting.
[25:12] Speaker 2: If you're not in an official relationship with him, I
[25:14] Speaker 2: don't think you say anything. Yeah, but take note of
[25:17] Speaker 2: it because maybe you don't want to date a guy
[25:19] Speaker 2: who's like always liking sexy photos. Look at who he's following.
[25:22] Speaker 2: If it's all just like girls and models and bikini models.
[25:26] Speaker 1: Like he's following puppy melons flag.
[25:32] Speaker 2: But if y'all are official, I think you just say hey,
[25:35] Speaker 2: I when I see you liking other girls photos on Instagram,
[25:39] Speaker 2: it makes those sexy photo, yeah, sexy photos. Yeah, I
[25:43] Speaker 2: think you clarify sexy photos. It just makes me feel
[25:48] Speaker 2: insecure and just feels disrespectful.
[25:52] Speaker 1: Or you could even say like I just don't like it.
[25:54] Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't like it. Yeah, it doesn't make me
[25:56] Speaker 2: feel like he's like too bad and he's.
[25:59] Speaker 1: Like, oh it matter them.
[26:03] Speaker 2: Then four months will be for one day. Yeah, I
[26:10] Speaker 2: just well could have that reaction, but I think you
[26:12] Speaker 2: just have an honest conversation. I don't think you come
[26:14] Speaker 2: at it attacking him just but hey, it makes me
[26:16] Speaker 2: feel insecure and I don't like it, and you know,
[26:18] Speaker 2: I just we're early on in our relationship. But that's
[26:21] Speaker 2: just a boundary for me. Yeah, because y'all are still
[26:24] Speaker 2: getting to know each other and like what you're.
[26:26] Speaker 1: Having conversations early on though it really is.
[26:30] Speaker 2: Yeah, because you don't want to come across as like
[26:33] Speaker 2: needy what the word is. But here's the thing. You're
[26:37] Speaker 2: not being needy or or you're not You're not doing
[26:40] Speaker 2: anything wrong by not liking that. We're in like this
[26:42] Speaker 2: weird world where like we have photos of people at
[26:46] Speaker 2: our fingertips and the ability to like them, which then
[26:49] Speaker 2: could just lead to an innocent dum that turns into
[26:54] Speaker 2: something not innocent. It's just it's setting the boundary for yourself.
[26:59] Speaker 2: That's strength, it's.
[26:59] Speaker 1: Power, it is It's just really hard having those conversations.
[27:02] Speaker 4: I know.
[27:03] Speaker 2: But you can do this Anonymous.
[27:04] Speaker 1: Yeah.
[27:04] Speaker 2: And if not, now when don't let it, don't let
[27:08] Speaker 2: it rest, like get in your head.
[27:09] Speaker 1: Who Yeah?
[27:11] Speaker 8: All right?
[27:11] Speaker 2: Our last dear bonya.
[27:13] Speaker 5: Our final one of the week. This is from Ashley
[27:16] Speaker 5: a psychic flashback. I was listening to the May thirteenth,
[27:19] Speaker 5: twenty nineteen episode. Thanks for the specifics, and you were
[27:22] Speaker 5: talking about the guy that the psychic said Tanya would
[27:24] Speaker 5: meet and said you would be She said it would
[27:26] Speaker 5: be a parent, but I was thinking, now it's Robbie,
[27:29] Speaker 5: it was a parent. In the very next sentence, you
[27:32] Speaker 5: guys said Dipplo would be on and he has great hands.
[27:35] Speaker 5: Just knowing what I know now, it seems like fate
[27:37] Speaker 5: with Robbie. He just didn't know it yet. This episode
[27:39] Speaker 5: also had me cracking up because you guys told someone's
[27:41] Speaker 5: sister that they were pregnant, and Tanya's fake voice had
[27:43] Speaker 5: me laughing out loud. I love this podcast and I
[27:46] Speaker 5: love you all so much. I love how Tanya is
[27:49] Speaker 5: so unapologetically herself, how markets choked up when something sweet happens,
[27:52] Speaker 5: and how Easton loves things so fiercely and gets so excited,
[27:55] Speaker 5: and how effortlessly hilarious and cool Beca is. Thanks for
[27:58] Speaker 5: being you. Hope you have a magical day.
[28:00] Speaker 1: How cool, hilarious and cool that could always gets the
[28:04] Speaker 1: cool card? You notice I never get the cool card.
[28:07] Speaker 2: But you're so unapologetically yourself, which is cool?
[28:11] Speaker 1: Is it? Yeah?
[28:13] Speaker 2: It is cool.
[28:13] Speaker 1: It's fine. I'm fine with it, like I love it
[28:16] Speaker 1: out of all.
[28:17] Speaker 2: That's oh my gosh, it is so true. Yeah, but
[28:22] Speaker 2: does have good hands she said.
[28:23] Speaker 1: It would be apparent, but it's and he's a parent,
[28:28] Speaker 1: but it's kind of crazy.
[28:29] Speaker 2: The initials were not right.
[28:31] Speaker 1: The initials were not right. No, not even.
[28:33] Speaker 2: Can you say them? No, since it's all is said
[28:36] Speaker 2: and done and you're married?
[28:38] Speaker 1: No what what?
[28:40] Speaker 2: What?
[28:42] Speaker 1: Because I don't even want to Like, it's like bad vibes.
[28:46] Speaker 2: Do you know that episode of Friends when uh, Monica
[28:49] Speaker 2: and Chandler are married and then Phoebe's like, Monica, I
[28:52] Speaker 2: found this.
[28:53] Speaker 1: Guy that or she tells him like I thought that
[28:56] Speaker 1: perfect funny. Yeah, it's like that.
[29:01] Speaker 2: It comes in.
[29:02] Speaker 1: I don't need to buddy the water.
[29:03] Speaker 2: Yeah, I think you're Yeah, Yeah, things are going well.
[29:06] Speaker 1: And he has good hands and he's a parent, and
[29:09] Speaker 1: he's a parent. That is pretty crazy.
[29:13] Speaker 2: Yeah. I love the attention to detail. I do too.
[29:17] Speaker 1: Actually, I appreciate the flashback too, because I feel like
[29:21] Speaker 1: I would be interested, especially in the like early days
[29:23] Speaker 1: when I was dating Robbie, the early days when you
[29:25] Speaker 1: were dating Haley, and like weren't sharing like what you
[29:27] Speaker 1: were saying.
[29:28] Speaker 2: Do you know what I mean? That feels so foreign
[29:31] Speaker 2: to me.
[29:32] Speaker 1: Yeah, that time in my life, I know, but it
[29:35] Speaker 1: was just yonder well it really, I mean it was
[29:38] Speaker 1: four years ago.
[29:39] Speaker 2: Yeah, I was thinking about what were we talking about?
[29:45] Speaker 1: Before you were published.
[29:47] Speaker 2: Hailey's fan started a trend where like it's the Girl's
[29:52] Speaker 2: like Girls new song playing from the trailer, and it's
[29:54] Speaker 2: like girls Like Girls the music video and it's them
[29:57] Speaker 2: in twenty fifteen. And then it's like a swipe and
[29:59] Speaker 2: it's like girls Like Girls the movie and it's them now.
[30:01] Speaker 2: So I did it, and I was on The Bachelor.
[30:04] Speaker 2: My season of the Bachelor was airing when the music
[30:07] Speaker 2: video came out. Crazy, I know, a world ago, yeah really,
[30:14] Speaker 2: but like the world ago that brought me here. Yeah,
[30:17] Speaker 2: you know, so what a full circle. I love you. Guys,
[30:20] Speaker 2: Thank y'all for always submitting Dear Bonya questions. They're always
[30:25] Speaker 2: so lovely to read and also relatable knowing that everyone's going.
[30:30] Speaker 9: Through everything's going through something, and even though I don't
[30:34] Speaker 9: wish ill on anybody, it's I think it's nice to
[30:37] Speaker 9: know that there's in life, that there are ups and downs,
[30:40] Speaker 9: and there's celebrations and there's trials, and we're all in
[30:44] Speaker 9: it together.
[30:45] Speaker 2: True. If you ever want to submit one, you can
[30:48] Speaker 2: do it on Instagram at scrubbing in pod or you
[30:52] Speaker 2: can email us at scrubbing In at iHeartMedia dot com.
[30:55] Speaker 2: We love hearing from you. We're working on the jingle.
[30:57] Speaker 2: Thank you everyone for your submissions. Yes, it's not you,
[31:00] Speaker 2: it's us. We have some some technical things to work on, yes,
[31:05] Speaker 2: and some room for improvement always is there. You never
[31:10] Speaker 2: want to get to a place where there's not room room,
[31:12] Speaker 2: because it's not glory.
[31:13] Speaker 1: If we're not nothing, we're not We're students. We're students
[31:16] Speaker 1: of the craft, always learning, always trying to make this podcast.
[31:20] Speaker 2: We're trying to be better at what we do. Yes,
[31:25] Speaker 2: and that's all for now. I hope you all have
[31:28] Speaker 2: a wonderful weekend.
[31:29] Speaker 1: We love you so much.
[31:31] Speaker 2: We love you so much, and it's hope. The week,
[31:34] Speaker 2: the first week of the year of the Horse, is
[31:36] Speaker 2: going swimmingly.
[31:38] Speaker 1: Galloping, galloping into your feeling the.
[31:40] Speaker 2: Wind on your face. Yeah all right, We love you guys.
[31:43] Speaker 2: B

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