# Dear Banya: Cut Her

An episode of [Scrubbing In with Becca Tilley & Tanya Rad](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1279955329), 20 Aug 2026, 39 min.

Audio: https://podtrac.com/pts/redirect.mp3/arttrk.com/p/D5CA5/pdst.fm/e/pscrb.fm/rss/p/traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/009b23ef-9bd1-4caf-a592-ae3101631380/4cf998a8-3311-4c58-a926-b4a900a4630f/audio.mp3?utm_source=Podcast&in_playlist=7e804438-d6f3-48a0-9de8-ae310163138e

It's time for another round of Dear Banya, and it turns out that not even Red 40 can keep Tanya from her Aperol Spritz! We try to help some Scrubbers with some far from expert advice. When should you leave your career and become a stay at home mom?? If your boss is your BFF... should they warn you if you're getting fired?? And how do you get over "the ick" when your boyfriend brings bathroom wipes on a trip?? Plus, Becca has a wedding update! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

## Transcript

[0:02] Speaker 1: Scrubbing In with Beca Tilly and Tanya rad and iHeartRadio
[0:06] Speaker 1: and two times People's Choice Award winning podcast.
[0:13] Speaker 2: Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in.
[0:17] Speaker 3: It is a thirsty Thursday. Thirsty things are happening. I
[0:21] Speaker 3: might be having a drink right now.
[0:23] Speaker 2: Wow. Yeah, what's your drink of choice right now?
[0:27] Speaker 4: So?
[0:28] Speaker 3: I was off Aperol Sprits because of the red forty
[0:31] Speaker 3: mm back on it.
[0:33] Speaker 2: I don't think correct me if I'm wrong. I don't
[0:36] Speaker 2: think Saint Sprits that are friend Jojo design or has created.
[0:43] Speaker 5: Huh.
[0:43] Speaker 2: I don't think it has red dye forty I.
[0:46] Speaker 5: Would assume it doesn't.
[0:47] Speaker 3: No, Yeah, but you can't order like a Saint Sprits
[0:50] Speaker 3: at like let's say the Javon la Valmont.
[0:52] Speaker 5: That's true, you know, but.
[0:54] Speaker 2: Just letting you know if you want a Sprints at home.
[0:57] Speaker 5: Yeah, I don't think hers has I think any of that.
[1:00] Speaker 5: I think that's the point of it.
[1:01] Speaker 3: Yeah, So you love spirts an approl. Yeah, I'm really
[1:05] Speaker 3: into Aperol. I was into Hugo for a minute. Now
[1:07] Speaker 3: I'm back on the Aperal. Back to me, there's something.
[1:11] Speaker 5: About the bitterness, the bitterness and the drunk like that
[1:16] Speaker 5: It really just gives me the perfect buzz without sending
[1:19] Speaker 5: me over the edge. Two too many, oh one wonder. Yeah.
[1:26] Speaker 2: I'd also like to correct that we were wrong or
[1:29] Speaker 2: I was wrong about on Unk last week or Monday,
[1:32] Speaker 2: because we found out Unk is actually uncle.
[1:35] Speaker 5: Which makes it better to me.
[1:38] Speaker 2: But why why are uncles catching flag?
[1:41] Speaker 5: I don't know. It's like uncle, uncle, you know.
[1:47] Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, so it's not uncool. It's uncle that makes
[1:51] Speaker 2: me feel better. It's really just wherever you put the
[1:54] Speaker 2: emphasis uncle uncle. Yeah, Unk, you're pretty Unk.
[2:00] Speaker 5: I'm like, so cool compared to other parents.
[2:04] Speaker 2: You're like full larp larber and.
[2:09] Speaker 5: Like the opposite of LARP.
[2:10] Speaker 3: I like what I like, and I don't like what
[2:13] Speaker 3: I don't like, and I'm unabashed about it.
[2:17] Speaker 2: Give imposer LARPer. Yeah.
[2:22] Speaker 5: Do you see this abuse again?
[2:25] Speaker 2: You know what heart it is gonna chuckle out of John.
[2:33] Speaker 3: John likes to say silent. He keeps a professional over there.
[2:38] Speaker 2: When he has to do our podcast. We really feel
[2:40] Speaker 2: for him.
[2:41] Speaker 3: By the way, I meant to say, when Ali was
[2:44] Speaker 3: doing the podcast, you guys had the scrubbing and mic flags,
[2:47] Speaker 3: and I was like, why don't I get those when
[2:48] Speaker 3: we have the show.
[2:50] Speaker 2: You should have seen my reaction. I was so excited.
[2:53] Speaker 2: I was like, I've never who did that?
[2:54] Speaker 4: Was that?
[2:54] Speaker 2: You? John Easton brought them to the show, and John
[2:57] Speaker 2: put them on.
[2:58] Speaker 5: You will John.
[3:00] Speaker 3: We have had this podcast for nine years and I've
[3:03] Speaker 3: yet to see it.
[3:03] Speaker 5: Mike flagged.
[3:04] Speaker 2: I think they go on these though, or they'd have
[3:07] Speaker 2: to interchange them, or you can take these off. I
[3:10] Speaker 2: think it's just too much work for Anyonet to put
[3:12] Speaker 2: how to do it? Let's guesses I didn't know we
[3:15] Speaker 2: had them from the studio.
[3:17] Speaker 5: Okay, where are they?
[3:18] Speaker 3: John in the heavy do you mind grabbing the mic?
[3:23] Speaker 5: Flags from?
[3:23] Speaker 2: Where are you going to do this right now?
[3:25] Speaker 5: Yes, you're going to read an email. I'm gonna turn
[3:27] Speaker 5: my mic on our break.
[3:29] Speaker 2: We're gonna do it on our break. Okay, but we're
[3:31] Speaker 2: gonna get them. So let's start with a dear. We
[3:33] Speaker 2: have deer Bonia today.
[3:34] Speaker 5: We treated with respect. There's some respect on our name.
[3:38] Speaker 2: I couldn't agree more. We're gonna do emails and I'm
[3:44] Speaker 2: gonna start while we're waiting for those.
[3:46] Speaker 5: Rebecca's just going right in nothing to share, Like, wait.
[3:49] Speaker 2: So you're trying to say you want to hear about
[3:52] Speaker 2: me when I was ready to get started. But you
[3:55] Speaker 2: don't have anything to share yourself.
[3:56] Speaker 5: I'd like to know what's happening with the wedding.
[3:59] Speaker 2: What's how are wedding? Yes, nothing, there's nothing to share.
[4:04] Speaker 2: We were actually going.
[4:05] Speaker 5: To go to see there's some some.
[4:08] Speaker 2: Locations and take a trip somewhere, but we're not going
[4:13] Speaker 2: there anymore. We're going to Thailand, and I'm very excited
[4:15] Speaker 2: about Thailand. But we're not going to get married in Thailand. So,
[4:19] Speaker 2: I mean I could, I could scout, but I feel
[4:22] Speaker 2: like asking everyone to go to Thailand would be a
[4:25] Speaker 2: really big ass.
[4:26] Speaker 5: Yeah that's quite the ass.
[4:27] Speaker 2: So but I am excited about Thailand. I've never been before,
[4:31] Speaker 2: very excited. Yeah, I'm excited for you.
[4:33] Speaker 5: So I have to get a guess host for that.
[4:35] Speaker 2: I yes, yeah, I think for the wedding we are
[4:40] Speaker 2: kind of just I think location is going to be
[4:43] Speaker 2: a big deal, but and then figuring out time of
[4:46] Speaker 2: year that we want to do it. But that's kind
[4:47] Speaker 2: of the main things that we have to figure out,
[4:49] Speaker 2: and then everything else will just be the Both of
[4:52] Speaker 2: us do not like making decisions. Both of us have
[4:55] Speaker 2: like decision paralysis. So can I help.
[4:59] Speaker 3: I' I mean like once we get going, Yeah, are
[5:02] Speaker 3: you gonna have a wedding party like a bridal party?
[5:05] Speaker 5: Yeah?
[5:05] Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't think I'll have them stand up with
[5:08] Speaker 2: me because I don't know. It's also you have to think.
[5:11] Speaker 2: We have to think of different things in terms of
[5:14] Speaker 2: how we walk down the aisle, because do we want
[5:17] Speaker 2: to come at the same time. Do we want to
[5:18] Speaker 2: meet in the middle instead of you know, one walking
[5:21] Speaker 2: down and being at the end. So depending on what
[5:24] Speaker 2: our venue looks like, we have those things to think about.
[5:27] Speaker 2: And then I don't think I would have our I
[5:29] Speaker 2: liked what we did for yours, Like we walked up there,
[5:32] Speaker 2: stood with you, and then we sat for the ceremony
[5:34] Speaker 2: because beginning to sit during the ceremony is so nice,
[5:36] Speaker 2: because yeah, it's very nerve wracking standing up and not
[5:40] Speaker 2: making sure you don't lock your legs and yeah, it's
[5:44] Speaker 2: just like a lot and you get to like relax
[5:46] Speaker 2: and hear the vowels and yeah, it was fun. So
[5:49] Speaker 2: we'll definitely have a wedding party bridle party. We've gone
[5:54] Speaker 2: back and forth on Bachelor, right if we want to
[5:56] Speaker 2: do it together separately, I'm team step brit She wants
[6:01] Speaker 2: to do it together, but it kind of depends on
[6:03] Speaker 2: what we do because we share a lot of friends.
[6:05] Speaker 2: So I wouldn't want multiple people to have to do
[6:08] Speaker 2: multiple trips, you know. So that's one thing too.
[6:12] Speaker 5: We thought about doing a joint too, did you, uh huh.
[6:15] Speaker 2: Yeah. I think it's it is. There is a difference
[6:18] Speaker 2: because we're both women, and so there is kind of
[6:20] Speaker 2: just like a big slumber party. Yeah.
[6:22] Speaker 5: Yeah. It got like weird because I was like, we
[6:27] Speaker 5: were going to do like a big trip.
[6:28] Speaker 3: We were going to like a big trip joint and
[6:30] Speaker 3: just like go like all out, and it got like
[6:34] Speaker 3: I was like, well, I think I would have to
[6:36] Speaker 3: have my my girlfriend. Like all of his friends are married,
[6:39] Speaker 3: so I was like, we'd have to have them bring
[6:40] Speaker 3: their wives because it's like a weird it would be
[6:42] Speaker 3: a weird trip, oh to like all of my like
[6:45] Speaker 3: friends and not have the wives there. And then I
[6:47] Speaker 3: was like, so then I would have to have my
[6:48] Speaker 3: friends bring their significant others. And then I was like
[6:51] Speaker 3: then it's just like half of our wedding, right, So
[6:54] Speaker 3: I was like, ah, yeah, this is not it.
[6:56] Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, So those are the that's where we're at
[7:00] Speaker 2: so far. On any decisions or thoughts so far.
[7:03] Speaker 5: Well, if I can be of service in any.
[7:05] Speaker 2: Way, oh my gosh, and I will absolutely utilize you
[7:08] Speaker 2: because when it comes to weddings, I don't think you're
[7:11] Speaker 2: LARPer or unk.
[7:13] Speaker 5: You're pretty helpful, thank you.
[7:16] Speaker 3: And I have no like agenda, Like it's not like
[7:18] Speaker 3: I have this like vision that I want to like
[7:19] Speaker 3: push on you, like I just want to help you,
[7:21] Speaker 3: like i'll help you.
[7:23] Speaker 2: I'm very decisive in what I know I don't want.
[7:26] Speaker 2: So that's good because I I if I see something,
[7:29] Speaker 2: I can be like, no, I don't want that, or
[7:31] Speaker 2: I don't like that. So those are the things. It's
[7:34] Speaker 2: just coming down to chairs and stuff. I'm gonna be like,
[7:38] Speaker 2: that's taking space in my brain trying to pick.
[7:41] Speaker 5: What we did it in one day.
[7:43] Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I know. You just have to sit down
[7:45] Speaker 2: and lock in.
[7:45] Speaker 5: Yeah. They set up a bunch of different tables and
[7:47] Speaker 5: you're like I like that, I don't like that. I
[7:49] Speaker 5: like that.
[7:50] Speaker 2: Right, we're right.
[7:50] Speaker 3: Hour and a half ninety minutes, easy, breezy. What a
[7:54] Speaker 3: chill bride I was?
[7:55] Speaker 2: You were shockingly chill, A little too chill, No, well
[8:00] Speaker 2: too chill. I didn't think you were too why do
[8:01] Speaker 2: you think you were too chill?
[8:05] Speaker 3: Because there were some things that I did that I
[8:08] Speaker 3: feel like I was just doing to please other people.
[8:11] Speaker 5: M And I'm like, I wish I would have just
[8:13] Speaker 5: done what I wanted. Interesting, Yeah, but you know, we
[8:20] Speaker 5: all do it.
[8:21] Speaker 2: We're all people pleasers at heart, we are, you know.
[8:24] Speaker 5: Yeah.
[8:24] Speaker 2: Sometimes it's like that. I don't try not to do
[8:28] Speaker 2: things I'm gonna. I'm there's gonna be a balance of Okay,
[8:31] Speaker 2: is this gonna Is this gonna be something I think
[8:34] Speaker 2: about if I do it and I didn't want to
[8:36] Speaker 2: do it? Or is it just I don't necessarily want
[8:38] Speaker 2: to do this, but is it easier for me to
[8:41] Speaker 2: just say yes? You know, it's just like weighing the
[8:44] Speaker 2: pros and cons, well, the pros and cons and the
[8:46] Speaker 2: weight of it, like is it something I mean to
[8:48] Speaker 2: think about it down the road, right, or am I
[8:50] Speaker 2: never gonna think about this again?
[8:51] Speaker 3: Well, whenever you ask your wedding party, just know that
[8:59] Speaker 3: I'm ready, I'm willing and able, I know, to assistant facilitate,
[9:07] Speaker 3: and I'm excited about it.
[9:09] Speaker 2: I know.
[9:10] Speaker 5: That's like, you know, yeah, it's more fun to deal
[9:13] Speaker 5: with your wedding than like my by far. I'm like
[9:18] Speaker 5: medications and.
[9:21] Speaker 2: I thought to be doing that right now. Yeah, no, totally,
[9:26] Speaker 2: you're taking that totally.
[9:27] Speaker 3: But let me tell you something. A month goes by
[9:29] Speaker 3: very fast.
[9:32] Speaker 2: The month from when you got my period? Oh not
[9:36] Speaker 2: from going to Capri.
[9:38] Speaker 5: No, I got my period.
[9:39] Speaker 2: When was up?
[9:41] Speaker 5: Do you want another date? Yeah, July twenty fifth.
[9:45] Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, we got some time though, so don't spend
[9:48] Speaker 2: it can happen and looking things up.
[9:51] Speaker 5: Okay, okay, fine, fair, fair, fair.
[9:53] Speaker 2: All right, let's get into some other people's problems.
[9:56] Speaker 5: All right, you want to do the first one?
[9:58] Speaker 2: Sure?
[9:59] Speaker 5: I love the first one.
[10:00] Speaker 2: Yeah, it's very It's a very year towards you well
[10:02] Speaker 2: as you start it.
[10:03] Speaker 5: Okay.
[10:04] Speaker 3: From Anonymous dating a Jewish Man. I have been dating
[10:07] Speaker 3: a Jewish Man for about three months now. I come
[10:09] Speaker 3: from a Christian background and was curious if Tanya can
[10:12] Speaker 3: share more of her experience of how she learned the
[10:14] Speaker 3: culture and religion, especially at the beginning of the relationship.
[10:17] Speaker 3: Anything you wish you had known at the start of
[10:19] Speaker 3: it all, and do her and Becca have any tips
[10:22] Speaker 3: or advice going into a relationship with different religious backgrounds.
[10:25] Speaker 3: Thank you for bringing me joy and laughter every single week,
[10:30] Speaker 3: super cute, cute, you know, it's so funny. Again, I
[10:34] Speaker 3: get asked this question a lot about like inner faith relationships,
[10:39] Speaker 3: but like at the end of the day, it was
[10:41] Speaker 3: never about Robbie was never trying to get me to
[10:44] Speaker 3: like convert, and I was never trying to get him
[10:46] Speaker 3: to I don't know if you call it convert, convert whatever.
[10:50] Speaker 3: It was more just about like learning. I got this
[10:53] Speaker 3: book actually from Nancy Spielberg that was called The Newish
[10:56] Speaker 3: Jewish Encyclopedia or something.
[10:58] Speaker 5: She like sent it to me and I read.
[11:00] Speaker 3: It and it was like very digestible like blurbs of things.
[11:05] Speaker 3: That's where I kind of like got my start. And
[11:08] Speaker 3: then as like the Jewish holidays, like you'll start noticing
[11:11] Speaker 3: when you're dating him as a Jewish holidays like roll
[11:13] Speaker 3: through and you go, if you start going to like
[11:17] Speaker 3: Satyrs and stuff, you'll just naturally learn the traditions and
[11:21] Speaker 3: the ceremonies and like all the things that they do.
[11:24] Speaker 3: And so that's kind of how I learned. Just I'm
[11:25] Speaker 3: still learning stuff to this day. I mean there's so much. Yeah,
[11:30] Speaker 3: but that's kind of that's kind of how we did it.
[11:34] Speaker 2: It was never tips or advice going into a relationship
[11:37] Speaker 2: with different religious backgrounds.
[11:39] Speaker 3: I think just like respecting and honoring each other's like
[11:43] Speaker 3: wishes and what you know, Like Probably's always asking me,
[11:45] Speaker 3: like if he wants me, if he wants if you
[11:47] Speaker 3: want to go to church on Easter?
[11:49] Speaker 5: Like you know what I mean.
[11:49] Speaker 3: Like he's always there for me if I want to
[11:52] Speaker 3: do something, and I'm always there. And we celebrate all
[11:55] Speaker 3: the Jewish holidays too, and same with like Christmas and Hanukah,
[11:59] Speaker 3: we do both.
[12:00] Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, I Haley didn't grow up religious, so
[12:05] Speaker 2: but she's always been. You know, it's the same thing
[12:07] Speaker 2: on Easter, She's always like, do you want to go
[12:09] Speaker 2: to church? Or She's always known that my faith was important.
[12:12] Speaker 2: But I think my faith in general has changed a lot,
[12:14] Speaker 2: so even just being in a relationship with Haley, my
[12:16] Speaker 2: faith just has changed a lot then how I was raised.
[12:23] Speaker 2: And I think it all comes down to respect and
[12:27] Speaker 2: giving people space to express their own beliefs and their
[12:31] Speaker 2: faith because faith is such a personal thing and I
[12:34] Speaker 2: think having expectations that it's going to look the exact
[12:38] Speaker 2: same as yours, even if it's the same religion, I
[12:40] Speaker 2: think is not realistic because I think it's all different,
[12:43] Speaker 2: and there's going to be things where you align or
[12:46] Speaker 2: you don't align, and I think being able to have
[12:48] Speaker 2: a least respectful dialogue about it is what's going to
[12:51] Speaker 2: be the most important thing. But I think there's so
[12:53] Speaker 2: much beauty and learning about where other people come from
[12:56] Speaker 2: and other religions and getting to experience something different, and
[13:00] Speaker 2: then how you grew up as such a gift in
[13:01] Speaker 2: my opinion.
[13:02] Speaker 5: Yeah, so I think so too.
[13:05] Speaker 2: Yeah. I also think do you follow Raven from The Bachelor.
[13:08] Speaker 2: She's married to She was grew up like Southern Christian
[13:11] Speaker 2: and she's married to Adam from Bachelor in Paradise.
[13:13] Speaker 5: His name's Ringing a Bell.
[13:15] Speaker 2: He's Jewish. Oh, and they're so cute. Do they celebrate
[13:19] Speaker 2: all the holidays?
[13:20] Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like so crazy and like the for our
[13:23] Speaker 3: the first time Robbie had ever decorated a Christmas tree
[13:26] Speaker 3: was like our first Christmas that we spent together.
[13:27] Speaker 5: Like he's like, I've never done this before. This is
[13:29] Speaker 5: so fun. Yeah, it's like, you're that's so crazy.
[13:33] Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying. There's so much fun and beauty
[13:35] Speaker 2: and joy and getting to learn and do those things
[13:38] Speaker 2: for the first time.
[13:39] Speaker 3: And he like didn't know, like, so he like brought over.
[13:41] Speaker 3: He went and bought ornaments. Oh yeah, because he thought
[13:43] Speaker 3: you were supposed to bring them over, and he like
[13:46] Speaker 3: had matching ones he'd bought like pears, and he's like
[13:48] Speaker 3: the girl at the store told me that you have
[13:50] Speaker 3: to buy them in like pears.
[13:51] Speaker 5: I was like, Oh, really cute, it's really cute. We
[13:54] Speaker 5: still have them, of course. Yeah.
[13:57] Speaker 2: Okay. This is from anonymous career or stay at home mom.
[14:01] Speaker 2: My husband started a new job about a year ago
[14:04] Speaker 2: and his hours are insane. We have two young kids
[14:07] Speaker 2: and most of the parenting falls on me, while I
[14:10] Speaker 2: also work full time from home. I love my job
[14:13] Speaker 2: and have spent years building my career, traveling to conferences
[14:16] Speaker 2: and making contacts throughout my field, but lately I feel
[14:19] Speaker 2: like I'm constantly juggling work and the kids and doing
[14:22] Speaker 2: neither particularly well. Thankfully, we can afford for me to
[14:26] Speaker 2: become a stay at home mom. Part of me would
[14:28] Speaker 2: be relieved, but part of me feels like I'd be
[14:30] Speaker 2: throwing away everything I worked for because his career became
[14:33] Speaker 2: more demanding. To complicate things, my husband really wants a
[14:36] Speaker 2: third child. I've always pictured three too, but right now,
[14:39] Speaker 2: I can't imagine adding a baby when I already feel
[14:42] Speaker 2: stretched so thin. Do I step away from a career
[14:45] Speaker 2: I love while my kids are little, or keep pushing
[14:47] Speaker 2: through and hope this is just a hard season. I'm
[14:53] Speaker 2: so fascinated by the I might ruffle some feathers here.
[14:58] Speaker 2: I'm fascinated by a mom who primarily takes care of
[15:05] Speaker 2: the kids and is debating whether she should step stay
[15:08] Speaker 2: at home and leave her career. And yet the husband
[15:13] Speaker 2: having the audacity to put any sort of pressure on
[15:17] Speaker 2: having another child when his career is the reason why
[15:23] Speaker 2: she is stretched thin. He's not the one having to
[15:28] Speaker 2: think about stuff. Why don't you ask him if he
[15:30] Speaker 2: would like to take care of his.
[15:32] Speaker 5: Career, would he like to carry the baby as well?
[15:35] Speaker 2: I'm sorry, maybe I'm maybe I'm reading this wrong, but
[15:37] Speaker 2: it sounds like they've had a discussion that three was
[15:39] Speaker 2: the goal. But I think you should very strongly stand
[15:43] Speaker 2: up against needing a third one right now. I think
[15:46] Speaker 2: there's room to grow the family, But I think right now,
[15:50] Speaker 2: you figure out what works best for you. I think
[15:53] Speaker 2: there's a world where I don't think anyone can do
[15:58] Speaker 2: anything one hundred percent multiple tis like, I don't think
[16:01] Speaker 2: that if you have a career and kids that you
[16:03] Speaker 2: can It's just as a human being, even if you're
[16:06] Speaker 2: the best of the best at doing it, you can't
[16:10] Speaker 2: give one hundred percent to everything you do when you're
[16:13] Speaker 2: doing multiple things right. And I think that there's a
[16:17] Speaker 2: lot of guilt, especially with the moms, because we want
[16:21] Speaker 2: to be the best at everything, especially if it comes
[16:24] Speaker 2: how I feel. I can't even imagine what it feels
[16:27] Speaker 2: like with kids. I want to do this with Phoebe.
[16:28] Speaker 2: I feel like I want to be the best dog
[16:30] Speaker 2: mom I could be, And so there's this pressure, and
[16:33] Speaker 2: then you're you're also trying to give yourself the and
[16:38] Speaker 2: be the best at this other thing that you've built
[16:41] Speaker 2: and put so much time into, which is your career.
[16:43] Speaker 3: You know, it's such a it's such a shitty position
[16:47] Speaker 3: that women have been put in because I just think, like,
[16:52] Speaker 3: I'm where I am now, right, and I'm like at
[16:54] Speaker 3: this age, but I think that for so many years.
[16:57] Speaker 3: And again, I just got married, so it's not like
[17:00] Speaker 3: I was trying to have kids at thirty one thirty two,
[17:02] Speaker 3: but I have thought I've had the thought of like
[17:07] Speaker 3: having a kid and going on maternity leave step in.
[17:11] Speaker 3: I've never stepped away from my career for more than
[17:14] Speaker 3: like a week, do you know what I mean? Yeah,
[17:17] Speaker 3: And I still have that sense of like, oh, you
[17:22] Speaker 3: know when you when you become pregnant, you obviously can't
[17:24] Speaker 3: do as much as you do. And then when you
[17:27] Speaker 3: go on maturnity leave, and then when you have a baby,
[17:29] Speaker 3: like you obviously want to like be a mother and
[17:31] Speaker 3: you want to be there and you want to be involved,
[17:32] Speaker 3: and you want to do all the things.
[17:33] Speaker 5: So like I see.
[17:36] Speaker 3: Wanting to be a stay at home mom, do you
[17:38] Speaker 3: know what I mean? Because you want to be there
[17:40] Speaker 3: when your kids are that when time goes by so fast.
[17:42] Speaker 3: So it's like I see that appeal. But then I
[17:44] Speaker 3: also think too, depending on what her career is, you
[17:47] Speaker 3: take your foot off the gas or you step off
[17:49] Speaker 3: that hamster wheel. It's really hard to get back on
[17:53] Speaker 3: as a woman, especially older as you get older. So
[17:56] Speaker 3: it's like my advice to you would be is there
[18:00] Speaker 3: any way that you can still somehow be Again, I
[18:05] Speaker 3: don't know what she does, but if there's some way
[18:07] Speaker 3: that you can still keep your foot in the room
[18:10] Speaker 3: in the door, do something part time, because I do
[18:14] Speaker 3: also think once your kids grow up, and I've seen
[18:17] Speaker 3: this because I just have I'm running in circles with
[18:22] Speaker 3: kids that are now, like you know, getting older, and
[18:24] Speaker 3: they don't need so much attention, and then you have
[18:27] Speaker 3: so much free time, and then you also feel like
[18:29] Speaker 3: you don't have purpose, and so I feel like having
[18:32] Speaker 3: your career is also very important in those later years
[18:36] Speaker 3: when your kids grow up. So I my advice, and
[18:41] Speaker 3: again this is just totally me, would be if there's
[18:43] Speaker 3: any way that you could have a combination of the two.
[18:46] Speaker 5: Be a stay at home mom, but also have some.
[18:51] Speaker 3: Sort of foot in at work, if it's part time,
[18:55] Speaker 3: if it's like again, I don't know what you do,
[19:00] Speaker 3: but like stepping back and scaling down, but not fully fully,
[19:03] Speaker 3: like closing the door.
[19:05] Speaker 2: Is there a world if you can afford to be
[19:07] Speaker 2: a stay at home mom where you could hire someone
[19:09] Speaker 2: that could come help you during the week with kids,
[19:12] Speaker 2: so you could give like three days a week that
[19:14] Speaker 2: they're helped. Someone like a nanny is someone helping with
[19:17] Speaker 2: the kids while you're putting one hundred percent into work
[19:20] Speaker 2: or focus being able to focus, and that way you're
[19:22] Speaker 2: there with the kids. But like when you have to work,
[19:24] Speaker 2: you're able to give it your full attention since you
[19:27] Speaker 2: if he's making enough money for you to quit completely,
[19:30] Speaker 2: I feel like there may be could be a world
[19:32] Speaker 2: where you could afford to hire someone to come and help. Yeah,
[19:38] Speaker 2: because I have in the same boat. I'm like, it
[19:39] Speaker 2: doesn't sound like she wants she doesn't feel like she
[19:43] Speaker 2: doesn't want to work anymore. Like it doesn't sound like
[19:45] Speaker 2: her dream is to be a stay at home mom.
[19:47] Speaker 5: Right, But I think she feels like of like.
[19:50] Speaker 2: Experiencing the things with their kids while they're small one time. Yes, gosh,
[19:56] Speaker 2: I'm sorry, I I don't know. I would maybe see
[19:59] Speaker 2: if you can it's some help, and see if that
[20:01] Speaker 2: helps you and see if you like having the what.
[20:07] Speaker 3: No, I just like, I imagine this is such a
[20:10] Speaker 3: hard thing because like I too on the same mood
[20:12] Speaker 3: as Sonny, like I, and she's just a dog, you know,
[20:15] Speaker 3: Like I'm like, I want to be like I want
[20:18] Speaker 3: to make sure she.
[20:18] Speaker 5: Has the best day every day. And I'm like, that's
[20:20] Speaker 5: literally a dog. Like I don't even know what I'm
[20:23] Speaker 5: going to be like.
[20:24] Speaker 2: But I would. I would have a conversation with your husband,
[20:26] Speaker 2: And I don't think he meant it to be selfish
[20:29] Speaker 2: or anything. I just think he probably hasn't thought of
[20:31] Speaker 2: what a third kid would mean for you, and how
[20:35] Speaker 2: it sounds like you're already stretched. Then, based on what
[20:37] Speaker 2: you literally said, I'm stretched, then I think you just
[20:39] Speaker 2: have a conversation, put that on pause and just figure
[20:42] Speaker 2: out what's happening right now.
[20:43] Speaker 5: Yeah, but good luck, good luck. I'm sorry.
[20:47] Speaker 2: I don't know if that was helpful advice. We gave
[20:51] Speaker 2: some input.
[20:52] Speaker 3: We have an email from a listener named Sarah, and
[20:55] Speaker 3: I just feel like we might have different opinions on this. Oh,
[20:59] Speaker 3: so we'll get into it when we come back.
[21:02] Speaker 4: Nice, We're back, We're back.
[21:20] Speaker 5: Okay.
[21:20] Speaker 3: This is from Sarah, my now former manager, and I
[21:24] Speaker 3: actually started at a company at the same time as coworkers.
[21:27] Speaker 3: She eventually worked her way up to becoming my manager,
[21:30] Speaker 3: but through it all we stayed really close friends. However,
[21:34] Speaker 3: I was recently let go and she didn't give me
[21:37] Speaker 3: any kind of warning. She says that as my manager,
[21:39] Speaker 3: she couldn't tell me what was happening before became official.
[21:42] Speaker 3: Career wise, I'm actually okay. I think this may be
[21:46] Speaker 3: the push I needed to move on and find something better.
[21:48] Speaker 3: So please don't feel bad for me, But friendship wise,
[21:51] Speaker 3: I'm heartbroken. I understand she had a professional responsibility, but
[21:55] Speaker 3: I can't get past knowing that one of my closest
[21:57] Speaker 3: friends knew I was about to lose my job and
[21:59] Speaker 3: acted completely normal around me. She keeps reaching out to
[22:03] Speaker 3: me to try and check in, But I just, honestly,
[22:06] Speaker 3: but I just honestly am so upset. I haven't even
[22:09] Speaker 3: answered her. Am I crazy for thinking this could end
[22:11] Speaker 3: our friendship? Am I being unfair for taking this personally?
[22:15] Speaker 5: What do you think? Becca?
[22:17] Speaker 2: Thank you for the emotionally for Sarah. Yeah, you were
[22:22] Speaker 2: really emoting in that. I think that my mind switched
[22:28] Speaker 2: halfway through the email because at first I thought, oh, like,
[22:33] Speaker 2: this was really not cool of her friend, Because even
[22:38] Speaker 2: if y'all were in a position of like power dynamics
[22:41] Speaker 2: being off, I still would be like, Hey, I just
[22:45] Speaker 2: want to give your heads up, like people are getting
[22:47] Speaker 2: laid off and it might be coming, Like I would
[22:50] Speaker 2: hope that that would be something you or I would
[22:53] Speaker 2: do for each other. M The other part of me, though,
[22:57] Speaker 2: realizes that she was probably put in a really hard
[22:59] Speaker 2: position and had to separate the personal relationship from the
[23:04] Speaker 2: professional relationship, and I think that her trying to reach
[23:08] Speaker 2: out and check in makes me think that it was
[23:11] Speaker 2: really hard for her too, and I think she feels
[23:13] Speaker 2: I think she feels the weight of it being bad
[23:17] Speaker 2: on the friend's side. But I also think she was
[23:19] Speaker 2: put in a tough position. And that's why they say
[23:22] Speaker 2: don't work with your friends. You know, we don't have
[23:26] Speaker 2: to worry about that. I would be very blunt and
[23:28] Speaker 2: honest with you, but I do think if you're in
[23:30] Speaker 2: like a corporate world, there is you do have to
[23:32] Speaker 2: find a separation, especially when you're in a different position,
[23:36] Speaker 2: a higher up position, you know, because now she also
[23:38] Speaker 2: has to think about her own job and her security.
[23:41] Speaker 2: So I think it's just hard for both of y'all.
[23:44] Speaker 2: I think you're both valid for she's valid for having
[23:47] Speaker 2: you do what she did and do it the way
[23:49] Speaker 2: that she did it, because I think it was a
[23:50] Speaker 2: tough position. And I also I appreciate that she's trying
[23:53] Speaker 2: to reach out to you, because I mean, she cares
[23:55] Speaker 2: about you. She isn't just like, well, whatever, screw her.
[23:58] Speaker 5: So, yeah, she should have reached out to you before
[24:00] Speaker 5: you got fired.
[24:01] Speaker 2: Okay, so your take is she should have told her, Yes.
[24:04] Speaker 5: She should have told you, she should have given you
[24:05] Speaker 5: some sort of heads up.
[24:06] Speaker 3: Even if she didn't tell you directly, like, hey, you're
[24:08] Speaker 3: getting fired, she could have said exactly what you said, Hey,
[24:11] Speaker 3: I'm hearing there's layoffs.
[24:14] Speaker 5: I wouldn't be.
[24:14] Speaker 3: Surprised if you are you know, you or I or
[24:17] Speaker 3: whatever however you want to say.
[24:18] Speaker 5: You don't have to say it exactly.
[24:20] Speaker 3: But if this is your friend, I think personally like,
[24:23] Speaker 3: but she shouldn't give like heads up.
[24:25] Speaker 2: End of a friendship type of I don't know.
[24:28] Speaker 5: It's hard to say, Becca, it's hard to say. It's
[24:29] Speaker 5: hard to say if.
[24:30] Speaker 2: She hadn't reached if she hasn't if she hadn't reached
[24:33] Speaker 2: out since it happened, I would be like, Yeah, maybe
[24:36] Speaker 2: she's not a great friend, but I think she's trying
[24:39] Speaker 2: and she probably felt very conflicted on it, and so
[24:42] Speaker 2: I would I would give her the opportunity to talk.
[24:44] Speaker 2: And if she is defensive and like, doesn't offer more condolences,
[24:48] Speaker 2: because you're the one who really got the end up
[24:51] Speaker 2: the stick here, you know, I think that it's I
[24:56] Speaker 2: think it's if she's your really, if she's really your friend,
[24:58] Speaker 2: I think it warrants a converse and you can be hurt.
[25:01] Speaker 2: You can say hey, I'm really hurt and I haven't
[25:03] Speaker 2: wanted to talk to you because I'm mad at you.
[25:05] Speaker 2: That's okay. Like relationships should go through things where you
[25:08] Speaker 2: have to have hard conversations.
[25:10] Speaker 3: Yeah, like when I had to tell you I was
[25:11] Speaker 3: upset you didn't tell me you were going to Taylor's
[25:13] Speaker 3: this wedding.
[25:13] Speaker 2: Yes. Yeah, they have to go through hardships to overcome things.
[25:18] Speaker 2: And this is a hardship that you all are facing.
[25:20] Speaker 2: And I think either you move forward as friends or
[25:24] Speaker 2: you choose not to hear her out. But I think
[25:26] Speaker 2: it's worth hearing her out. If she's a good friend
[25:28] Speaker 2: to you.
[25:30] Speaker 5: I say cut her.
[25:31] Speaker 2: Oh my, there's no way you say cut her.
[25:34] Speaker 5: Cut her?
[25:35] Speaker 2: Do you mean that? Are you LARPing?
[25:39] Speaker 5: You're such an unc.
[25:43] Speaker 2: Do you mean that? Are you LARPing? Wow? Sarah? I
[25:47] Speaker 2: think if I.
[25:50] Speaker 3: Were fired and my best friend knew and didn't tell
[25:53] Speaker 3: me and give me some sort of heads up, it
[25:55] Speaker 3: would be.
[25:56] Speaker 2: But after all the time through, if I was in
[25:58] Speaker 2: a position where they were like, you cannot tell her,
[26:01] Speaker 2: or that puts you in harms a way for your
[26:03] Speaker 2: job security, and I didn't tell you, and then I
[26:05] Speaker 2: reached out and I was like, I love you. I
[26:07] Speaker 2: feel horrible for what happened, and like I know you
[26:10] Speaker 2: probably don't trust me right now and feel hurt, but
[26:12] Speaker 2: like I love you and I had to separate and
[26:14] Speaker 2: trust you again because that's a professional choice. That wasn't
[26:18] Speaker 2: a personal thing.
[26:20] Speaker 5: I just always think personal over professional.
[26:23] Speaker 2: Well, not everyone thinks the same as you, and I
[26:27] Speaker 2: think to not give your friend who you've been friends
[26:30] Speaker 2: with at least a conversation. She's hold us up face.
[26:40] Speaker 3: I was like, you know what, like you're trying to
[26:42] Speaker 3: hold in a yawn. I was trying to like close
[26:44] Speaker 3: my lips so it didn't like open.
[26:47] Speaker 5: Wow.
[26:47] Speaker 3: That was a challenge and like mocial gymnastics, but.
[26:53] Speaker 2: I help it in Sarah, give her a chance, be
[26:57] Speaker 2: a good friend, be a good friend. Even though she
[26:59] Speaker 2: heard you give her a chance.
[27:01] Speaker 5: Wait will you do?
[27:02] Speaker 2: Jenny Jenny Jenny Jenny Jenny Jenny says bathroom wipes give
[27:10] Speaker 2: me the ick. I just went on my first vacation
[27:13] Speaker 2: with my boyfriend and it was honestly great, except he
[27:16] Speaker 2: brought a pack of flishable wipes for the bathroom. I
[27:19] Speaker 2: know this is objectively good hygiene, but something about seeing
[27:22] Speaker 2: that pack sitting next to our toilet all week gave
[27:24] Speaker 2: me the biggest egg. I couldnt explain it, but it
[27:28] Speaker 2: sent me into another universe. Am I completely insane? Please
[27:33] Speaker 2: tell me Robbie or Haley has done something equally harmless
[27:36] Speaker 2: that randomly gives you the ick. I feel like the
[27:38] Speaker 2: answer is no, but please help me. I really like
[27:41] Speaker 2: this man, so please talk me off the ledge before
[27:43] Speaker 2: I let bathroom wipes ru in a perfectly good relationship.
[27:48] Speaker 5: This is not about the bathroom wipes.
[27:50] Speaker 2: Oh you just think she has the ick?
[27:52] Speaker 5: Yeah, Jenny, you have the ick because.
[27:56] Speaker 2: Bathroom wipes should be a green flat.
[28:00] Speaker 3: Yes, Like he takes care of his butthole after he poops,
[28:03] Speaker 3: like amazing love that for him?
[28:06] Speaker 5: For you? Yeah? Much?
[28:09] Speaker 2: No, I just something about the word butthole sent me
[28:12] Speaker 2: until I go another orbit. I don't know. I just.
[28:18] Speaker 5: Over a second.
[28:22] Speaker 2: Yeah I Unfortunately, can you come back from this?
[28:25] Speaker 5: Yeah? I don't know. I don't know. Unfortunately, I don't
[28:30] Speaker 5: know because he.
[28:30] Speaker 2: Just packed his little his little wife used to go.
[28:37] Speaker 3: Because like, if I'm being honest, every like probably icky
[28:40] Speaker 3: thing that Robbie did and our relationship, like I found
[28:43] Speaker 3: so adorable or so cute or so charming.
[28:45] Speaker 2: I will say when it is, I would get the
[28:47] Speaker 2: ick from everything someone did like they're pinky Now could
[28:53] Speaker 2: be too long and I'd be like, no, so, but
[28:59] Speaker 2: I do believe in coming back from an egg, I don't.
[29:03] Speaker 2: I do, Jenny.
[29:04] Speaker 3: I think I think that this is bigger than the
[29:06] Speaker 3: bathroom wipes, and you have got to go.
[29:09] Speaker 5: I think that the episode is cut. It cut the friendship.
[29:13] Speaker 2: You're cutting too. You're being a little too cutthroat just
[29:16] Speaker 2: because you're married. Now you're old.
[29:18] Speaker 5: You would never do this, You're right, right, that's so true.
[29:21] Speaker 2: Yeah, here's the thing. I think bathroom wipes, even though
[29:26] Speaker 2: again I get it him bringing his little wipeies along
[29:29] Speaker 2: on the trip and setting them mout like it's.
[29:30] Speaker 5: Him, like bringing like pooperie and like putting it next
[29:34] Speaker 5: to the toilet.
[29:34] Speaker 2: It's a thoughtful gesture and it's clean. It's hygiene, and
[29:37] Speaker 2: that at the end of the day is a green flag.
[29:40] Speaker 2: You know. Yeah. I think you just need to reframe
[29:47] Speaker 2: how you see the wipes.
[29:50] Speaker 3: Maybe see him as a clean butthole. Are we allowed
[29:54] Speaker 3: to say that, like John keeps marking things down? Are
[29:58] Speaker 3: we not allowed to say butthole?
[29:59] Speaker 2: I think but whole spine. It's anatomy, okay, and we
[30:03] Speaker 2: are a Gray's Anatomy podcast exactly. So yeah, I think
[30:10] Speaker 2: maybe there's a cool container you can put the wipes
[30:13] Speaker 2: in a warmer.
[30:18] Speaker 5: That would actually be amazing.
[30:21] Speaker 2: I believe you can come back from this ick, But
[30:23] Speaker 2: I also cluse.
[30:25] Speaker 3: Him yourself, ask him if you could have one? Can
[30:27] Speaker 3: I borrow one of your wipes?
[30:28] Speaker 2: I also think when I met Haley, I did not.
[30:34] Speaker 2: I'm like still to this day, it takes I don't
[30:36] Speaker 2: even know if I can list anything that's ever given
[30:39] Speaker 2: me the ick. So and I was the ick queen
[30:42] Speaker 2: everything in the eck. Yeah, So this might not be
[30:45] Speaker 2: your person.
[30:47] Speaker 3: I just I just don't think it's your I mean
[30:48] Speaker 3: because I too, like I got the ick from a
[30:50] Speaker 3: guy drinking a drink out of a straw and he
[30:53] Speaker 3: was very hot and handsome and charming and great job,
[30:58] Speaker 3: and he sucked on that straw and I was like.
[31:06] Speaker 5: Boner gone wow.
[31:10] Speaker 2: So okay. My truth is, Jenny, I think you can
[31:12] Speaker 2: come back from this, and I also think that this
[31:14] Speaker 2: might not be your person because this is in theory,
[31:17] Speaker 2: should be a positive thing. Yeah, And that's all we
[31:22] Speaker 2: have to offer. On that note, that's too bad. It's
[31:28] Speaker 2: too bad.
[31:45] Speaker 3: This is from anonymous. My friend annoys me. One of
[31:49] Speaker 3: my best friends is annoying this out of me, and
[31:52] Speaker 3: I hate.
[31:53] Speaker 5: Feeling this way.
[31:54] Speaker 3: I love her and we see each other weekly, but
[31:56] Speaker 3: certain personality quirks really get under my skin. Elisha's details
[32:00] Speaker 3: about her career and finds ways to work stories about
[32:03] Speaker 3: men hitting on her into conversations. She's also asked hypothetical
[32:07] Speaker 3: questions that are obviously about problems in her relationships, sometimes
[32:10] Speaker 3: right in front of her boyfriend, who just sits there uncomfortably.
[32:14] Speaker 3: I think a lot of it comes from insecurity, and
[32:16] Speaker 3: I don't think she's being malicious. She genuinely seems to
[32:19] Speaker 3: think she's being more subtle than she is. But these
[32:22] Speaker 3: little things make me disproportionately irritated. Is it normal to
[32:27] Speaker 3: be this annoyed by someone you love? How do I
[32:29] Speaker 3: know what's worth addressing and what I just need to
[32:31] Speaker 3: accept about her?
[32:33] Speaker 2: Oh? This is so hard.
[32:38] Speaker 5: I don't even just annoy you. I think people can,
[32:41] Speaker 5: like I was.
[32:41] Speaker 2: Gonna say, but when it's your best friend, that's different.
[32:46] Speaker 5: I'm sure I've annoyed you before.
[32:48] Speaker 3: Never, no chance, never in my life you're saying that
[32:52] Speaker 3: with the You're saying that with a smirk on your face,
[32:54] Speaker 3: which leads me to believe you're lying.
[32:56] Speaker 5: You're LARPing.
[32:57] Speaker 2: Every single person in my life has annoyed me at
[32:59] Speaker 2: some point in my life. I'm just saying, like being
[33:03] Speaker 2: having being annoyed by someone isn't a long term thing.
[33:07] Speaker 2: But this sounds did.
[33:08] Speaker 5: Annoy about with you?
[33:11] Speaker 2: Yeah, that's just like neither here nor there.
[33:14] Speaker 5: It's here nor there. What this is exactly what we're
[33:16] Speaker 5: talking about. What have you been annoyed about?
[33:18] Speaker 2: Like you're getting mad about Taylor Swift? I found annoying
[33:21] Speaker 2: the wedding. That's valid you you got mad and I
[33:26] Speaker 2: found it annoying.
[33:28] Speaker 5: When else have I annoyed you?
[33:30] Speaker 2: No other time?
[33:31] Speaker 5: Not ever?
[33:32] Speaker 2: Ever?
[33:33] Speaker 5: Lying, LARPer, when have I annoyed you never?
[33:36] Speaker 2: That's so not true.
[33:37] Speaker 5: It's like the truth.
[33:40] Speaker 2: When you're talking about Taylor's wedding, I would.
[33:41] Speaker 5: Say it didn't annoy me. That really hurt my feelings deeply.
[33:45] Speaker 5: There's a difference.
[33:46] Speaker 2: I think there's so many difference towards like getting hurt
[33:48] Speaker 2: and I would say I I am not as like sensitive,
[33:52] Speaker 2: so I find things that would be hurtful to you annoying.
[33:55] Speaker 3: Yeah, like I don't. I never have found you annoying.
[33:58] Speaker 3: I have found you to be hurtful, deeply worse.
[34:01] Speaker 5: Actually, yeah, it's hard being on this side of things.
[34:04] Speaker 2: Yeah, well I'm sorry, you have to be my friend anyways. Yeah, anyways,
[34:09] Speaker 2: I think this is a person Like I think this
[34:12] Speaker 2: is a personality. And if Tanya had a personality that
[34:15] Speaker 2: annoyed me, I don't think i'd be friends with her.
[34:18] Speaker 3: No, I don't think it's a personality. I think I
[34:21] Speaker 3: think that sometimes people can go through annoying phases. Like
[34:24] Speaker 3: let's say, like let's say one of your friends goes
[34:27] Speaker 3: through a breakup and they're like, I'm sure I've been
[34:29] Speaker 3: so annoying after a breakup and I want to like
[34:32] Speaker 3: go out like.
[34:34] Speaker 2: Crazy after the break up. Yeah, annoying.
[34:39] Speaker 3: But that's what I'm saying, Like people go through like
[34:42] Speaker 3: different seasons of life and different emotions, and like this
[34:44] Speaker 3: might just be something that like she's just being annoying
[34:47] Speaker 3: right now because you said she's insecure about something, so
[34:49] Speaker 3: it's like right now she might just be like annoying
[34:51] Speaker 3: and you just step back, you say you see her weekly,
[34:54] Speaker 3: maybe take it back to buy you know, to say
[34:56] Speaker 3: bi weekly. That's more twice a month, you know, like
[35:00] Speaker 3: every other week you see her, and just like just
[35:03] Speaker 3: slow it down on seeing her for a bit while
[35:06] Speaker 3: she's going through this phase, and then just jump right
[35:09] Speaker 3: back in.
[35:10] Speaker 2: She said, certain personality quirks really good under my skin.
[35:14] Speaker 2: So it sounds like it's a personality.
[35:16] Speaker 3: It just seems like they're heightened. I think I'm taking
[35:19] Speaker 3: this as a momentary lapse of something else that's going on.
[35:22] Speaker 2: It's not like so you just don't see each other
[35:27] Speaker 2: as much, give it a little time. Distance makes the
[35:29] Speaker 2: heart grow fall exactly. So maybe you just need some
[35:34] Speaker 2: space from her right now. I don't think you even
[35:36] Speaker 2: need to tell her that. I think you just yeah,
[35:40] Speaker 2: when she wants to hang.
[35:41] Speaker 3: Out, Yeah, she wants to get a drink, I'm busy.
[35:44] Speaker 3: But how about next week?
[35:45] Speaker 5: Great, and you just kick the can.
[35:48] Speaker 2: Okay, kick the can.
[35:50] Speaker 5: Kick the can.
[35:52] Speaker 2: Doesn't that mean die?
[35:53] Speaker 3: No, it just means like when you kick the can,
[35:56] Speaker 3: you're just like prolonging, prolonging, I see, Okay, larving that
[36:00] Speaker 3: may say.
[36:01] Speaker 2: Okay, I think we're misusing that now. Okay, yeah, I
[36:05] Speaker 2: think I would get some space, clear your head, clear
[36:08] Speaker 2: the energy. It is hard to be around someone who's annoying,
[36:12] Speaker 2: annoying but also talks about relationship problems in front their boyfriend,
[36:16] Speaker 2: because it puts you in It makes everyone feel awkward, intense,
[36:19] Speaker 2: and that's a lot of energy to absorb and try
[36:23] Speaker 2: to give. Yeah, so just take some space. And I
[36:26] Speaker 2: also think if it continues, if it's not just a phase,
[36:30] Speaker 2: maybe this person's cutter. Just like we get sum this
[36:35] Speaker 2: podcast up, we could just erase all the advice given
[36:39] Speaker 2: and just it's Yeah, why are you so cut throat today?
[36:45] Speaker 2: Why are you feeling fed up like this?
[36:47] Speaker 5: I'm feeling fed up?
[36:48] Speaker 3: Yeah, I think just because I don't know.
[36:52] Speaker 5: I'm just like tired when I'm tired, I'm.
[36:54] Speaker 2: Just Yeah, why why even try?
[36:58] Speaker 5: Yeah? Why I try? Why try?
[37:02] Speaker 4: I know?
[37:03] Speaker 5: It's why not?
[37:04] Speaker 2: Yeah? Why not? Yeah? Today I did a pilates class
[37:09] Speaker 2: this money again. I did a heated plates class like
[37:12] Speaker 2: a Matt class where at this place near my house.
[37:14] Speaker 2: And I was late because I couldn't find parking. And
[37:20] Speaker 2: I almost just ate the money because I didn't want
[37:25] Speaker 2: to go in late.
[37:25] Speaker 3: I done star because I was I was finding parking
[37:28] Speaker 3: for ten minutes. I was ten minutes late because I
[37:30] Speaker 3: was finding parking. I was like, I might as well
[37:32] Speaker 3: just go home, and then I was like, I paid
[37:34] Speaker 3: for the class.
[37:35] Speaker 2: I know, well, I wasn't that late, but it was
[37:36] Speaker 2: just the idea of walking in while it was dark
[37:39] Speaker 2: and they had already started, not knowing where my mat
[37:41] Speaker 2: was going to be. But I did it.
[37:43] Speaker 5: Proud of you.
[37:44] Speaker 2: Thank you so much.
[37:45] Speaker 5: You start going with me.
[37:46] Speaker 2: You're so far away, it's too far away. I will
[37:49] Speaker 2: go like I would go with you here and there,
[37:52] Speaker 2: but like, go wak, I'm hear to you. Oh yeah,
[37:54] Speaker 2: I would love to go. Let's go together when I'm back.
[37:57] Speaker 3: I want to try what and then the effort to
[38:01] Speaker 3: see each other to get you over the hill.
[38:05] Speaker 2: You always get me. I always come to you.
[38:07] Speaker 5: I always come to you too if you're here for work. Yeah,
[38:11] Speaker 5: so that I do it, but not always, Yeah, not always.
[38:17] Speaker 2: You only come to me if you're here for work.
[38:19] Speaker 5: But I do it often because.
[38:23] Speaker 3: Anyway, anyways, we need to have some therapy, you and I.
[38:28] Speaker 5: Really I think that's pretty good lingering issues I fear.
[38:33] Speaker 2: Oh my god, just Taylor slipped.
[38:35] Speaker 5: Yeah. Obviously still top of mind for you and for me.
[38:40] Speaker 2: It was just the only recent example I had I
[38:42] Speaker 2: give you it's fresh. It's fresh, but we're good. I
[38:46] Speaker 2: have no issues about it. Neither to you.
[38:49] Speaker 1: Okay, all right, On that note, the podcast is over,
[38:55] Speaker 1: but don't worry because we will be back on Monday
[39:01] Speaker 1: for a new episode.
[39:02] Speaker 3: Yeah, this is gonna Monday is gonna be a good one.
[39:05] Speaker 3: You better believe we're gonna go out and we're gonna
[39:07] Speaker 3: be living.
[39:09] Speaker 2: Yes we are. Yeah, you're gonna have a lot of
[39:11] Speaker 2: stories from when we come back. So stay tuned, stay tuned,
[39:15] Speaker 2: and we love you so much, love you, Bye bye.

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