# Uplift: She tells you how to navigate workplace fears: job security, performance anxiety, and change.

An episode of [Money Making Conversations Master Class](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1264705641), 6 Feb 2025, 25 min.

Audio: https://podtrac.com/pts/redirect.mp3/traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/b1db7263-d1a3-4d00-8976-af62012aab44/2b80bcee-b33b-4828-8943-b27b016a63d6/audio.mp3?utm_source=Podcast&in_playlist=35a10561-3e1b-4d05-a529-af62012aab6a

Listen and subscribe to Money Making Conversations on iHeartRadio, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, www.moneymakingconversations.com/subscribe/ or wherever you listen to podcasts. New Money Making Conversations episodes drop daily. I want to alert you, so you don’t miss out on expert analysis and insider perspectives from my guests who provide tips that can help you uplift the community, improve your financial planning, motivation, or advice on how to be a successful entrepreneur. Keep winning! Two-time Emmy and Three-time NAACP Image Award-winning, television Executive Producer Rushion McDonald interviewed Heather Younger. Founder and CEO of a leading employee engagement and workplace culture consulting firm: 🎙️ Interview Summary Guest: Heather R. Younger Role: CEO, workplace culture consultant, author, speaker Topic: Employee engagement, workplace culture, self-leadership, and overcoming fear 🧭 Purpose of the Interview To explore Heather Younger's journey as a workplace culture expert, her insights into employee engagement, and her new book The Art of Self-Leadership. The conversation centers on empowering individuals to lead themselves, navigate workplace challenges, and overcome fear to unlock personal and professional growth. 🔑 Key Takeaways 1. Employee Advocacy & Engagement • Heather has read over 30,000 employee surveys and facilitated 100+ focus groups. • She emphasizes active listening and creating safe spaces for employees to express concerns. • Her mission is to amplify the voices of employees, especially during organizational transitions like mergers. 2. Self-Leadership & Personal Growth • Heather encourages individuals to be their own advocates and not wait for others (including HR) to “save” them. • She promotes intentional reframing—shifting negative thoughts into rational, empowering ones. • Her new book, The Art of Self-Leadership, includes exercises like fear mapping to help readers identify and overcome internal barriers. 3. Navigating Fear in the Workplace Heather outlines five ways fear holds people back professionally: • Fear of feedback – avoiding growth due to fear of criticism. • Fear of retribution – hesitating to speak up. • Fear of speaking truth to power – lacking psychological safety. • Inherited fears – generational or cultural fears that shape behavior. • Fear of regret – not taking action and living with “what ifs.” 4. Daily Practices for Mental Strength • Reflect nightly on what went well and what you controlled. • Practice gratitude and mindfulness. • Prioritize sleep, hydration, and mental clarity. • Treat each day as a chance to iterate and improve. 💬 Notable Quotes • “I needed to be the change I was seeking.” • “Feedback is a gift—even if it hurts.” • “You have to fight tooth and nail for your own mental space.” • “Don’t wait to be invited—ask.” • “See yourself as a work in progress, not a finished product.” 📚 Book Mentioned • Title: The Art of Self-Leadership • Focus: Empowering individuals to lead themselves through fear, change, and uncertainty 📞 Contact Info • Website: HeatherYounger.com • LinkedIn: Heather R. Younger • Social Media: Active on YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram #STRAW #BEST #SHMS See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

## Transcript

[0:00] Speaker 1: Hi, I'm Rashaan McDonald, a host of the weekly Money
[0:02] Speaker 1: Making Conversation Masterclass show. The interviews and information that this
[0:06] Speaker 1: show provides off for everyone. It's time to stop reading
[0:09] Speaker 1: other people's success stories and start living your own.
[0:12] Speaker 2: If you want to be.
[0:13] Speaker 1: A guest on my show, please visit our website, Moneymakingconversations
[0:17] Speaker 1: dot com and click the.
[0:19] Speaker 2: Be a Guest button. Now let's get started.
[0:22] Speaker 1: My guest is the visionary founder and CEO of a
[0:25] Speaker 1: pre eminent employee engagement and workplace culture consulting firm to
[0:30] Speaker 1: fortune one hundred companies. She has personally read over thirty
[0:34] Speaker 1: thousand employee surveys and facilitated over one hundred employee focused groups,
[0:40] Speaker 1: including her signature art of active listening sessions. Please welcome
[0:45] Speaker 1: to the Money Making Conversation Masterclass. Heather Younger. How are
[0:49] Speaker 1: you doing, Heather?
[0:51] Speaker 3: I'm doing great. Thanks for having me.
[0:53] Speaker 1: First word, Heather, you know, kind of low key now,
[0:55] Speaker 1: I've seen your picture energetic and everything is a long
[0:59] Speaker 1: day person.
[1:00] Speaker 2: I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get a.
[1:01] Speaker 1: Low key Heather. I've seen operation I'm on YouTube, I've
[1:05] Speaker 1: seen Ted Eggs. You doing, Yeah, it's been a long day. Brother,
[1:10] Speaker 1: you get what you get. You get what you get, brother,
[1:12] Speaker 1: get what you get.
[1:13] Speaker 3: That's hilarious. Pop off. I'm gonna impart some wisdom, so
[1:19] Speaker 3: you know, let's just get to it.
[1:21] Speaker 2: Come.
[1:21] Speaker 1: You gotta inspire me, you know, because of the fact
[1:23] Speaker 1: that you know, I'm a fan, because of the fact
[1:25] Speaker 1: that you know what you do.
[1:26] Speaker 2: You do your research and.
[1:28] Speaker 1: Uh and I don't know everybody, but then if I
[1:30] Speaker 1: want to know something about somebody, the beauty of googling
[1:33] Speaker 1: somebody's name and then it just pop up and go.
[1:35] Speaker 2: While she's running around the room, she's touching people, she's
[1:39] Speaker 2: on stage, she's hopping around. Heah rashean. How you doing that?
[1:43] Speaker 3: Brother? Yeah, yeah, I can't. I can't touch you the
[1:46] Speaker 3: phone call, you know, no, no, no, But.
[1:48] Speaker 1: You can touch me with that ended you though, So
[1:50] Speaker 1: tell everybody about your Heather. You know, I've done my
[1:52] Speaker 1: research on you. Let everybody know a little bit about
[1:54] Speaker 1: you before we get into all those great things I
[1:57] Speaker 1: said about you. Reading thirty thous employee surveys and facilitating
[2:02] Speaker 1: over one hundred employee focused group. That's a lot of
[2:06] Speaker 1: stuff and you have to have a lot of energy
[2:08] Speaker 1: to pull that off.
[2:10] Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, I'm driven to be honest. I'm driven
[2:12] Speaker 3: to be the voice for those who don't really have
[2:14] Speaker 3: a voice, and oftentimes that's the employee. Especially, oh my goodness,
[2:17] Speaker 3: in this current workplace environment where you see what's happening
[2:20] Speaker 3: in the government, where I think there's just a lot
[2:22] Speaker 3: of people who feel helpless and hopeless, and by the
[2:24] Speaker 3: way they have it's a historical thing that whole the
[2:27] Speaker 3: imbalance of power between employer and employee is massive, and
[2:30] Speaker 3: I saw a firsthand when I was working in an
[2:32] Speaker 3: organization and had gone through with a big merger of
[2:36] Speaker 3: companies and I'm in the middle of it, and I'm
[2:38] Speaker 3: feeling stuck. I'm feeling, like I always call it, stuck
[2:41] Speaker 3: in the muck, and I felt I felt stuck, like
[2:43] Speaker 3: I was being dragged down like everybody else in that
[2:45] Speaker 3: whole merger, because everybody kept sniffing around making sense that
[2:48] Speaker 3: there was going to be a lay off or something
[2:49] Speaker 3: going on. And so it was in that whole merged
[2:52] Speaker 3: environment where I felt stuck where I decided I needed
[2:54] Speaker 3: to be. I needed to be kind of like the
[2:56] Speaker 3: change out of seeking because no one's going to be
[2:58] Speaker 3: there to save me. I needed to go to save
[3:00] Speaker 3: myself and help them save other people. And so I
[3:03] Speaker 3: kind of took it by myself to create an employ
[3:05] Speaker 3: engagement council, creating kind a space for people to talk
[3:09] Speaker 3: about about what was happening, to listen to on another
[3:11] Speaker 3: to figure out how we can strategize to make the
[3:13] Speaker 3: merger more successful. But in that process, there was a layoff,
[3:16] Speaker 3: and I was one of the people at two hundred
[3:18] Speaker 3: people laid off, and I just realized in that moment
[3:21] Speaker 3: that I needed to be the person of kind of
[3:22] Speaker 3: like this voice of reason, the voice who can synth
[3:25] Speaker 3: aside all this stuff. I just you know that you
[3:26] Speaker 3: just said, I did into into like a palatable path
[3:30] Speaker 3: like action steps that somebody can go take. So all
[3:33] Speaker 3: those you know, jumping on and off stages and them
[3:35] Speaker 3: doing the books and all those things that you're just
[3:37] Speaker 3: talking about, those are all just my gosh, a calling.
[3:41] Speaker 3: I have to give back to the world to like leaders,
[3:45] Speaker 3: to people in power, to help impart to them what
[3:47] Speaker 3: it is they could do and how much how much
[3:50] Speaker 3: power they're giving away positive power, not the negative, yucky
[3:52] Speaker 3: stuff we see, but the real positive power. And so
[3:55] Speaker 3: that's why this whole this movement now toward self leadership
[3:59] Speaker 3: is critical to me, you know, helping people understand that.
[4:01] Speaker 1: Let measure this, Heather, because you know, layoffs, a person
[4:06] Speaker 1: being laid off and a person being fired are two
[4:09] Speaker 1: distinct emotions, you know, And I was. I got laid
[4:13] Speaker 1: off one time, my very first job at burger King
[4:15] Speaker 1: and laid me off. Guy came in and he said,
[4:19] Speaker 1: I thought I was making the best burgers in the world.
[4:24] Speaker 1: He said, Richard, can you come back. We need to talk.
[4:27] Speaker 1: I said, yes, sir, yes, sir, yes, sir.
[4:29] Speaker 2: He said, we got to lay off.
[4:33] Speaker 1: I remember when he said it to me. I slid
[4:36] Speaker 1: down the wall. I was in tears, and he said,
[4:40] Speaker 1: you did nothing wrong. But I but and I think
[4:43] Speaker 1: that's the part of being laid off is that it's
[4:47] Speaker 1: not you've done nothing wrong and people have changed your life,
[4:51] Speaker 1: where when you get terminated, I would tell people people
[4:54] Speaker 1: will get fired. No, they are going to get fired.
[4:57] Speaker 1: They're just waiting for you to make the decisions. That's
[4:59] Speaker 1: no joke about that. People will getting fired know they're
[5:02] Speaker 1: going to be fired, and they just I don't know
[5:04] Speaker 1: when they're gonna pull this trigger.
[5:06] Speaker 2: But guess what, I'm gonna keep coming in until they do.
[5:08] Speaker 3: Coming.
[5:09] Speaker 2: Okay, talk about that emotional window.
[5:13] Speaker 1: We you start talking about leadership and being in the
[5:17] Speaker 1: in the role of HR or is there a modern
[5:20] Speaker 1: role for HR or what you're doing is replacing or
[5:24] Speaker 1: empowering people beyond HR.
[5:28] Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean HR. I mean I love HR people
[5:31] Speaker 3: because I do believe deep down their hearts there. But
[5:33] Speaker 3: they do have a complicated role because they're representing both
[5:36] Speaker 3: the company and they have to be there to be
[5:38] Speaker 3: looking for the well being and the team members the employees.
[5:40] Speaker 3: They are there so they're in a untental position. They're
[5:43] Speaker 3: not just there as advocates for the employees. They have
[5:45] Speaker 3: to do both. So I here's how I look at it,
[5:49] Speaker 3: being having kind of a rougher journey early on in
[5:51] Speaker 3: my career and then and in my personal life and
[5:54] Speaker 3: then kind of coming through that. Uh, I ain't nobody
[5:57] Speaker 3: coming to save me, and in the workplace, no one's
[6:00] Speaker 3: coming to save you, HR included. You have to be
[6:03] Speaker 3: the person who makes the choices that serve you best,
[6:07] Speaker 3: because no one else is going to make the better
[6:09] Speaker 3: decision to serve you best. Now, when we think about
[6:11] Speaker 3: that emotional side of for example, layoff and you know,
[6:15] Speaker 3: being terminated, I've been in both situations only once each time,
[6:19] Speaker 3: one when I was much younger, and then the other
[6:20] Speaker 3: one maybe like within the last ten years. And I
[6:23] Speaker 3: can tell you and that you talked about like knowing
[6:26] Speaker 3: that it's coming. I knew that both were coming next
[6:28] Speaker 3: because I tend to be like a little bit more
[6:29] Speaker 3: of a socially aware person, so I'm aware of what's
[6:31] Speaker 3: going on in the environment and I can feel something
[6:33] Speaker 3: in my gut each time. But I do have to
[6:36] Speaker 3: say that there's more shame associated with determination. Then there's
[6:40] Speaker 3: the left with the laft. You do feel shame, but
[6:41] Speaker 3: at the same time, because you understand you didn't have
[6:44] Speaker 3: a hand in it, like there was nothing you could
[6:45] Speaker 3: have done to change the situation, then there's a little
[6:48] Speaker 3: bit less shame involved. But I do think that sense
[6:52] Speaker 3: of powerlessness exists in both situations where you just you're
[6:56] Speaker 3: you're at a loss and you're like, what am I
[6:58] Speaker 3: going to do? How am I going to get out
[7:00] Speaker 3: of this? And again being got stuck in the muck
[7:02] Speaker 3: mindset is there, And I here's what I say. I say,
[7:06] Speaker 3: allow yourself to have those emotions as you're in those spots,
[7:10] Speaker 3: but at some point you got to give yourself a
[7:11] Speaker 3: cut off. I call it the switch. I call it
[7:13] Speaker 3: the switch in my head that says, Okay, those thoughts
[7:16] Speaker 3: that are stopping me, making me feeling like I'm like
[7:19] Speaker 3: a loser, like I'm ashamed of myself and who I
[7:21] Speaker 3: am don't serve me. They don't serve me. So I've
[7:24] Speaker 3: got to get out of my own way. I got
[7:26] Speaker 3: to flip the switch in my head to more rational
[7:28] Speaker 3: thoughts that serve me. So in that situation that layoff
[7:31] Speaker 3: earlier in my mind, I was like, I looked over,
[7:34] Speaker 3: I looked outside of myself, stood on the outside, looked
[7:36] Speaker 3: back at that situation. I said, you know what, I
[7:38] Speaker 3: learned a lot there. I learned tech there that I
[7:41] Speaker 3: never knew. I met my best friend there. I got
[7:43] Speaker 3: a severance there which allows me to be the person
[7:45] Speaker 3: jumping off all the states, all those things you're talking
[7:48] Speaker 3: about right right. But if I didn't give myself the
[7:52] Speaker 3: time to sit in the muck for a second and
[7:54] Speaker 3: then get out of the muck and look at myself
[7:56] Speaker 3: and go, wait a second, you're a better person because
[7:58] Speaker 3: of all this, and then you're stronger.
[8:01] Speaker 2: But let me ask you this, Let me ask you this.
[8:03] Speaker 1: Heather I'm speaking to Heather Younger and just her whole
[8:07] Speaker 1: concept of being able to show leadership and and value.
[8:11] Speaker 1: Now the workplace environment, that's this average person. I know
[8:14] Speaker 1: there's an explosion for small businesses and the entrepreneurial spirit,
[8:19] Speaker 1: but how to effectively navigate workplace fears. I'm talking about
[8:24] Speaker 1: job security, performance, anxiety change. How can someone do that?
[8:30] Speaker 1: When you wake up in the morning, you know there's uncertainty,
[8:34] Speaker 1: how do you deal with that on a forty hour
[8:36] Speaker 1: week job that you know you need.
[8:41] Speaker 3: Yeah, this is one thing I'm going to say to
[8:43] Speaker 3: those are listening. It's been a long time since I've
[8:46] Speaker 3: worked at kind of like the at fast food or
[8:50] Speaker 3: at most of my job. I've been now for the
[8:52] Speaker 3: last many year, like let's say, since twenty seventeen, working
[8:56] Speaker 3: on my own as an entrepreneur. Before that, I worked
[8:58] Speaker 3: in the public sector in a director level position, and
[9:02] Speaker 3: I've kind of have been majority of my career in
[9:03] Speaker 3: that director level. I've had one time when I was
[9:05] Speaker 3: a stint and I was a more senior, but I've
[9:07] Speaker 3: been in that like you know, like mid level manager.
[9:10] Speaker 3: So it's been a long long time since I've been
[9:11] Speaker 3: on the front line. So The reason why I try
[9:14] Speaker 3: to keep connected and doing all those employee focus groups
[9:17] Speaker 3: and listen to doing these surveys is to keep a
[9:19] Speaker 3: connection to the people doing the work on the ground.
[9:22] Speaker 3: So I haven't lived it in my own shoes for
[9:24] Speaker 3: a long while, but I try to understand it by
[9:26] Speaker 3: talking to the people who are doing it. So I
[9:28] Speaker 3: just that's one thing I do want to say. But
[9:31] Speaker 3: I think the very first thing we should do is
[9:33] Speaker 3: before going to even bed at night, so you get
[9:35] Speaker 3: them that long day. I think the number one thing
[9:38] Speaker 3: we do is should come home, find paper, a journal,
[9:42] Speaker 3: do something and write down the things that went well
[9:45] Speaker 3: that day, and also write down the things you felt
[9:48] Speaker 3: like you were in most control or had the most
[9:50] Speaker 3: influence over that day. Because I feel like if we
[9:52] Speaker 3: go to bed with that understanding of what we can control,
[9:55] Speaker 3: we can influence what we're grateful for. We wake up
[9:57] Speaker 3: the next day with a little bit less fear, a
[10:00] Speaker 3: little bit less of the anxiety that's there. I actually
[10:03] Speaker 3: struggle with anxiety. So I have to do things like
[10:06] Speaker 3: go outside and do walks in the sunshine. I would
[10:08] Speaker 3: go with my dogs. I have to do that breathing,
[10:10] Speaker 3: and I have to play games with myself on my head.
[10:13] Speaker 3: So been there, done that, and have written books and
[10:16] Speaker 3: done talks on this idea right of all this anxiety
[10:19] Speaker 3: that happens with these day to day work environment situations.
[10:22] Speaker 3: And I think the other thing is if you can
[10:24] Speaker 3: take on this tool called reframing, and psychologists use reframing
[10:27] Speaker 3: a lot to help people who are really having a
[10:29] Speaker 3: hard time of struggling. And what I like to think
[10:32] Speaker 3: of it, I say reframing. It is being intentional about reframing.
[10:35] Speaker 3: So reframing just says I'm going to take a negative
[10:37] Speaker 3: situation and look, maybe something that's even irrational, and I'm
[10:40] Speaker 3: going to turn it into more rational thinking. So for me,
[10:44] Speaker 3: in that place where the layoffs, I was like, was
[10:47] Speaker 3: that freaking out, get a job, all the things right?
[10:51] Speaker 3: And then I got to the point again I got
[10:53] Speaker 3: sick of myself. I stepped over that threshold of those
[10:55] Speaker 3: thoughts that were irrational, and I said, wait a second, Okay, nope,
[10:58] Speaker 3: good things happen, Nope, look I'm at look possibilities. So
[11:01] Speaker 3: I allowed myself that time to feel crazed, and then
[11:04] Speaker 3: I got out of it and said, okay, let's think
[11:06] Speaker 3: a different well, let's go a different direction. But I
[11:09] Speaker 3: had to be really intentional, and so I would say
[11:11] Speaker 3: that you have to fight tooth and nail for your
[11:14] Speaker 3: own mental space. Like don't don't wait for a boss, manager,
[11:18] Speaker 3: a spouse, a sister, a sibling to be the one
[11:21] Speaker 3: that helps you out of that. You have to do
[11:23] Speaker 3: it for you. So be really hyper intentional at night,
[11:26] Speaker 3: end it positive in the morning. Again, you should wake
[11:29] Speaker 3: up a little bit more refreshed. Don't forget to get
[11:31] Speaker 3: enough sleep, don't forget to drink enough water. Like this
[11:34] Speaker 3: is this is not something that costs a lot of money.
[11:36] Speaker 3: But the sleeping and the water and the basic things
[11:39] Speaker 3: that we all can do are the things that get
[11:41] Speaker 3: us in the right headspace together to make the right
[11:43] Speaker 3: decisions for the very next day.
[11:45] Speaker 1: Wow, this is Heather Younger. Now this is not the
[11:48] Speaker 1: head the younger that that came on, you know, saying.
[11:53] Speaker 3: You won't be jumping.
[11:55] Speaker 1: This is the one I see on YouTube. This is
[11:57] Speaker 1: the one I see going around the rooms. You know,
[12:00] Speaker 1: the truths inspiring you before we go to break tell
[12:03] Speaker 1: them about your website and then we come back and
[12:05] Speaker 1: your company and then we we'll come back, and I
[12:07] Speaker 1: want to ask you the five ways fears holding you
[12:10] Speaker 1: back professionally.
[12:11] Speaker 2: But before we do that, website and naming your.
[12:14] Speaker 3: Company Heatheryonger dot com is probably the best website. Gives
[12:19] Speaker 3: you a lot of stuff about me there, and I
[12:22] Speaker 3: think it's following me on LinkedIn as the best way
[12:24] Speaker 3: just to kind of get a hold of me and
[12:26] Speaker 3: reach out because I'm always there. I'm always on there,
[12:28] Speaker 3: So that's what I would say. Heather Younger, and.
[12:30] Speaker 1: She's always on that. She's always on that, and she's
[12:32] Speaker 1: always on YouTube. She's always talking. She's somewhere talking all
[12:35] Speaker 1: the time. Heather Younger is always talking because she is
[12:38] Speaker 1: the bomb. And this is Racheon McDonald and you're listening
[12:41] Speaker 1: to money Making Conversations Masterclass.
[12:44] Speaker 2: Don't go into web, We'll be right back.
[12:46] Speaker 4: Please don't go anywhere. We'll be right back with more
[12:49] Speaker 4: money Making Conversations Masterclass. Welcome back to the Money Making
[12:59] Speaker 4: converse Sations Masterclass, hosted by Rashan MacDonald. Money Making Conversations
[13:04] Speaker 4: Masterclass continues online at Moneymakingconversations dot com and follow money
[13:09] Speaker 4: Making Conversations Masterclass on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
[13:14] Speaker 1: My guest is divisionary founder and CEO of a preeminent
[13:17] Speaker 1: employee engagement and workplace.
[13:19] Speaker 2: Let me just stop right there.
[13:21] Speaker 1: She is an individual that gets it. She gets it
[13:25] Speaker 1: from a personal standpoint. She's an honest person from a standpoint.
[13:29] Speaker 1: She shares stories about herself. I think that's the only
[13:32] Speaker 1: way you can be authentic is that she's not perfect,
[13:35] Speaker 1: and she says that in a book. She's an award
[13:38] Speaker 1: winning author. But more importantly, she's a motivator who when
[13:42] Speaker 1: you hear her speak, when you see her in person,
[13:45] Speaker 1: you will see a part of you in her.
[13:48] Speaker 2: You see a part of.
[13:49] Speaker 1: Her experience that you have shared. And I think that's
[13:53] Speaker 1: what makes Heather Younger the unique talent that she is
[13:56] Speaker 1: in this industry. Because age does matter and it impacts
[14:01] Speaker 1: a lot of people. Fear does matter and it impacts
[14:04] Speaker 1: a lot of people. And as we come back Heather, fear,
[14:08] Speaker 1: you know, fear stopped a lot of people from pursuing
[14:11] Speaker 1: dreams people. Fears stopped a lot of people from pursuing
[14:15] Speaker 1: the right relationship.
[14:18] Speaker 2: What are the five ways of fears.
[14:20] Speaker 1: Holding you back, oh people back professionally that you can
[14:25] Speaker 1: share with us on this show today.
[14:28] Speaker 3: I mean, I think if we're talking really about kind
[14:31] Speaker 3: of the things that we do in this space of hear. So,
[14:34] Speaker 3: for example, sometimes fear of feedback is something that they
[14:37] Speaker 3: will hold people back because if they don't want to
[14:39] Speaker 3: take a move, they don't want to move forward, they
[14:40] Speaker 3: don't want to do the next thing because they're afraid
[14:42] Speaker 3: of what someone might say, or they don't even want
[14:44] Speaker 3: to ask for feedback because they don't want to even
[14:47] Speaker 3: do anything about it, or they again don't know what
[14:49] Speaker 3: the person's going to say, are assuming the worst about
[14:51] Speaker 3: themselves and aren't realizing that feedback itself is a gift.
[14:54] Speaker 3: It's a gift, even if it's constructive, even if it
[14:56] Speaker 3: hurts a little bit, it's still a gift. And so
[14:58] Speaker 3: I think that's one air where fear could be holding
[15:01] Speaker 3: you back because again it's the fear of the next thing. Also, oftentimes,
[15:07] Speaker 3: you know, we don't know if we're going to get
[15:08] Speaker 3: in trouble for something, so it's like fear of retribution,
[15:11] Speaker 3: fear fear of somebody of getting in trouble for the
[15:13] Speaker 3: for doing a step. Fear of speaking up is another
[15:15] Speaker 3: one where we don't want to use our voices, We
[15:18] Speaker 3: don't want to be we don't want to present a
[15:20] Speaker 3: dissenting opinion or say something calender to somebody who's in
[15:23] Speaker 3: power or in authority, because again we're gonna we think,
[15:26] Speaker 3: we don't know what they're gonna say, are were going
[15:28] Speaker 3: to be judged. That's something like around the idea of
[15:29] Speaker 3: psychological safety where people don't feel safe to speak up,
[15:33] Speaker 3: to speak the truth, the truth to power. And and
[15:37] Speaker 3: I think when we were looking at these things, we
[15:40] Speaker 3: have to evaluate a couple of things. First, are the
[15:42] Speaker 3: fears fears that were given to us like really early on,
[15:46] Speaker 3: like maybe our parents, our aunties, somebody gave us the
[15:49] Speaker 3: fears and then it just we let it just carry
[15:52] Speaker 3: on our backs or is it something that we've picked
[15:55] Speaker 3: up intentionally, unintentionally but it's us. And the reason why
[15:59] Speaker 3: I say that is because well, in either side, we
[16:01] Speaker 3: have the ability to influence how much we decide to
[16:04] Speaker 3: hold onto those or how much we decide to put
[16:06] Speaker 3: those down. So evaluating those fears. In my exercise in
[16:10] Speaker 3: the book that comes out next week on self Leadership,
[16:13] Speaker 3: I have a fear mapping exercise I have in there
[16:15] Speaker 3: where people can kind of name their fears and then
[16:19] Speaker 3: look about, like look at them and say where did
[16:21] Speaker 3: they come from? Because you can't get rid of them
[16:24] Speaker 3: unless you know where do they stem from? Because some
[16:27] Speaker 3: of these things go deep, like it's our grandma, our grandpa, whatever,
[16:31] Speaker 3: it could be. Generations of this stuff that comes back,
[16:34] Speaker 3: trauma that's passed down, and we have to go back
[16:36] Speaker 3: and go what is it that stops us from taking
[16:39] Speaker 3: the next step forward? My message, this message like do
[16:42] Speaker 3: this work, this new body of work on the art
[16:44] Speaker 3: of self leadership was really about this idea of fear
[16:48] Speaker 3: is the thing that stops us from leading ourselves well.
[16:51] Speaker 3: And what we are doing is we are sitting around
[16:54] Speaker 3: blaming other people for the things we don't have. We
[16:56] Speaker 3: are sitting around waiting for green lights, waiting for access,
[17:00] Speaker 3: waiting for invitations, waiting for oh, whatever it is, greetings,
[17:04] Speaker 3: and it's not going to happen. We need to seize it.
[17:07] Speaker 3: People ask me, how did you, you know, get this
[17:09] Speaker 3: one award? And I'm not sure you got this. You
[17:11] Speaker 3: get the same thing, how do you get this other thing?
[17:14] Speaker 3: And I go because I asked, because I asked. I
[17:18] Speaker 3: didn't wait for somebody to invite me. I asked because
[17:22] Speaker 3: and yes there's a fear there, But what's the worst
[17:25] Speaker 3: that could happen? Here's another question, here's I'm telling you
[17:28] Speaker 3: this thing, this changed my life. At the end of
[17:30] Speaker 3: last year, I got this question in my head and
[17:32] Speaker 3: this thing that has really helped me, and it is this,
[17:35] Speaker 3: what is the thing that you regret? You will regret
[17:38] Speaker 3: the longest doing the thing or not doing the thing.
[17:43] Speaker 3: So when you think about fears, that one question can
[17:46] Speaker 3: help take you off that whole non decision making dime quickly.
[17:52] Speaker 3: Because if if your question to you is, if your
[17:54] Speaker 3: answer to that is, oh, I am going to have
[17:57] Speaker 3: more regrets and I'll and i'll if I continue to
[18:01] Speaker 3: live in fear, then if I let it go and
[18:04] Speaker 3: I move forward with the next step or whatever that is,
[18:07] Speaker 3: it could be feared, could be anything. If I don't
[18:10] Speaker 3: do this next thing, which will I regret most? Not
[18:14] Speaker 3: doing it or doing it?
[18:15] Speaker 2: I would tell you this, not doing it, it's a
[18:17] Speaker 2: game changer, not doing it.
[18:19] Speaker 1: And I would tell you I will wake up and
[18:21] Speaker 1: I will go to sleep and I will regret that.
[18:24] Speaker 1: And so I am a person that and I'm dead
[18:27] Speaker 1: some Helen, I've done some things that I still think about.
[18:32] Speaker 2: Yeah, why did I do it?
[18:33] Speaker 1: But I did it and it allowed me to make
[18:36] Speaker 1: I feel the right decision The next time.
[18:38] Speaker 2: But if you don't do it, then you will complicate.
[18:42] Speaker 1: You come up with a complicated emotion inside of you
[18:46] Speaker 1: that can slow you down in your decision making. So
[18:49] Speaker 1: when I've done things I and I've been fortunate in
[18:52] Speaker 1: my life, Heather, I believe that I've pretty much done
[18:55] Speaker 1: what I wanted to do when it came up to
[18:58] Speaker 1: me to make that decision, make that that that fork
[19:01] Speaker 1: in the road decision that a lot of people don't
[19:03] Speaker 1: want to make.
[19:04] Speaker 2: That's that fear.
[19:05] Speaker 1: That fear because I work with a lot of highly
[19:08] Speaker 1: powerful people who come to me wanting advice. And when
[19:12] Speaker 1: they want advice, I can't go, hm, let me think
[19:15] Speaker 1: about it. They want an answer, think about it. I've
[19:20] Speaker 1: had people go, uh, you don't have an answer, And
[19:23] Speaker 1: I had that when that when that person said to
[19:26] Speaker 1: that that one time, I said to myself, that will
[19:29] Speaker 1: never be a statement said to me about me like
[19:33] Speaker 1: that again, that I don't have an answer. So I
[19:35] Speaker 1: get up in the morning, Heather, at four point thirty.
[19:38] Speaker 1: I read the I read the ce it In on
[19:42] Speaker 1: my on my phone. I read ESPN on my phone.
[19:46] Speaker 1: I read the Houston Chronicle. Because I'm born and raised
[19:48] Speaker 1: in Houston, I read the AGC, I go to Fox News,
[19:52] Speaker 1: I go through Variety, I go to Hollow Report. All
[19:55] Speaker 1: this is my morning. And so when I walk out
[19:58] Speaker 1: that door, I pretty much know a lot of information.
[20:01] Speaker 1: And so when people ask me in general, they go,
[20:04] Speaker 1: you know a lot. That's because I've been preparing since
[20:07] Speaker 1: four thirty to talk to you. Yeah, And that's that's
[20:11] Speaker 1: something that I share with everybody that you have to
[20:15] Speaker 1: treat every day how you want to be treated. I
[20:19] Speaker 1: am an information portal. You come to me, Heather, I
[20:24] Speaker 1: got a response for you. I remember Steve Harvey told
[20:27] Speaker 1: me one time. He said, with Shane, if somebody gonna
[20:30] Speaker 1: come to you, you're gonna give me answer. I said yep.
[20:32] Speaker 1: He said, you pretty much think you know everything. I said, yep,
[20:35] Speaker 1: I do. But and he laughed and walked off. He said,
[20:39] Speaker 1: I knew you're gonna say that. I go, yeah, what
[20:40] Speaker 1: you're thinking, I'm gonna say, I don't know everything. I
[20:43] Speaker 1: prepare it four thirty in the morning to know everything.
[20:45] Speaker 1: So if I don't know, I'm gonna go say yeah,
[20:48] Speaker 1: run around the corner, google it, come back and be
[20:51] Speaker 1: well aware of what you're about to say to me.
[20:53] Speaker 1: Because I'm prepared. So, Heather, you know, what you're saying
[20:56] Speaker 1: is amazing to me because so many people how fear
[21:01] Speaker 1: and it ruins, especially when you get over fifty, especially
[21:04] Speaker 1: when you get over sixty, the fear, it just takes over,
[21:08] Speaker 1: and it can ruin relationships, It can ruin families. It
[21:12] Speaker 1: can not just the job, because that whole experience can
[21:15] Speaker 1: take over as we close out. He just give them
[21:19] Speaker 1: some tips on becoming a leader within themselves.
[21:24] Speaker 3: Yeah, I would say that I look at yourself as
[21:28] Speaker 3: the chief iterator of your life. And what I mean,
[21:31] Speaker 3: my dad, is see yourself as a work in progress.
[21:35] Speaker 3: So you aren't going towards perfection. You're you're aiming towards
[21:40] Speaker 3: continuous progress. And so if you see, if you look
[21:43] Speaker 3: at it that way, it means everything you do is
[21:46] Speaker 3: an iteration of the very next thing you're gonna do.
[21:49] Speaker 3: You're gonna keep doing the very next You're gonna continue
[21:51] Speaker 3: to change and tweak and change and tweak. So when
[21:54] Speaker 3: you know that, it's like when you fall down, it's like,
[21:56] Speaker 3: oh well, I've bruised in a I bruised my knee,
[21:59] Speaker 3: Oh well, I bruised my elbow. Oh well, because you
[22:02] Speaker 3: know the next time you get up, you probably won't
[22:03] Speaker 3: bruise the elbow, at least not the same way. Because again,
[22:05] Speaker 3: if you're working progress and then you're iterating, you're always
[22:08] Speaker 3: paying attention, you're tweaking. So just see yourself in the
[22:11] Speaker 3: in in a ever changing way of being, and it's
[22:15] Speaker 3: just much easier to live that way if you're looking
[22:18] Speaker 3: at yourself from a very fixed state, where this is
[22:20] Speaker 3: where I end, this is where I start, this is
[22:22] Speaker 3: the this is where success is only right here. You
[22:25] Speaker 3: won't be happy, you will not be happy, but you
[22:28] Speaker 3: will feel more joy when you see yourself as a
[22:30] Speaker 3: work in progress. Know that you are being you are
[22:33] Speaker 3: being shaped by the life would better and different that
[22:36] Speaker 3: you that you're being facetriped with right now, and what
[22:39] Speaker 3: you're coming out as, Oh my gosh, it is that diamond.
[22:42] Speaker 3: It is a diamond you were all put here to be.
[22:44] Speaker 3: So that's what I would say to everybody listening right now.
[22:47] Speaker 1: Well, you know what you should say. My friend is dad.
[22:50] Speaker 1: Heather Younger is the ball you are. I'm so happy
[22:57] Speaker 1: that I invited you on my show because your voice
[23:01] Speaker 1: is what this country needs, you know, because we're walking
[23:05] Speaker 1: into a world of uncertainty you know, people are being
[23:07] Speaker 1: announced on the newspaper, they get laid off. Make a decision.
[23:11] Speaker 1: If you don't make the decision, we'll make the decision
[23:13] Speaker 1: for you. And that's when the self evaluation comes in.
[23:17] Speaker 1: That's when you should wake up planning and don't wait
[23:20] Speaker 1: wait for the plan to become part of the plan.
[23:22] Speaker 1: Like you said, set to make the plan, don't become
[23:25] Speaker 1: part of the plan.
[23:26] Speaker 3: Yep, And don't wait to get on anybody's calendar.
[23:31] Speaker 1: Girl, I wish I could talk to you a long
[23:33] Speaker 1: because Daralen, can I invite you back on my show?
[23:38] Speaker 2: Okay?
[23:39] Speaker 1: Great, because I got to bring you back because you
[23:40] Speaker 1: want of these people that every time I talk to
[23:43] Speaker 1: you as another question pop up and go that's five minutes.
[23:45] Speaker 2: Because you're a good talker.
[23:46] Speaker 1: I like I do is ask you a question you
[23:48] Speaker 1: five minutes in you know that's it because you're that good.
[23:52] Speaker 1: But again, tell everybody about your website and we're gonna
[23:55] Speaker 1: talk soon.
[23:55] Speaker 2: With my friend.
[23:57] Speaker 3: All right, did I get ahead of younger dot com?
[23:59] Speaker 3: Go check it out, and and check out my new
[24:00] Speaker 3: book to the Artist Self Leadership. It's out next week
[24:02] Speaker 3: severy eleven.
[24:03] Speaker 2: Make sure I get it so I can talk about it.
[24:05] Speaker 2: We talked to them.
[24:05] Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I appreciate your how Thank you.
[24:08] Speaker 1: This has been another edition of Money Making Conversation Masterclass
[24:12] Speaker 1: hosted by me Rashaan McDonald. Thank you to our guests
[24:15] Speaker 1: on the show today, and thank you our listening audience now.
[24:18] Speaker 1: If you want to listen to any episode or want
[24:20] Speaker 1: to be a guest on the show, visit Moneymakingconversations dot com.
[24:25] Speaker 1: Our social media handle is money Making Conversations. Join us
[24:28] Speaker 1: next week and remember to always lead with your gifts,
[24:31] Speaker 1: Keep winning. This has been another edition of Money Making
[24:35] Speaker 1: Conversation Masterclass hosted by me Rashawn McDonald. Thank you to
[24:39] Speaker 1: our guests on the show today and thank you our
[24:42] Speaker 1: listening to the audience now. If you want to listen
[24:44] Speaker 1: to any episode I want to be a guest on
[24:46] Speaker 1: the show, visit Moneymakingconversations dot com. Our social media handle
[24:50] Speaker 1: is money Making Conversations. Join us next week and remember
[24:54] Speaker 1: to always leave with your gifts.
[24:55] Speaker 2: Keep winning.

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