# The One Question to Ask About Any Relationship | Ep 991

An episode of [The Game with Alex Hormozi](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1254720112), 7 Aug 2026, 7:28.

Audio: https://pscrb.fm/rss/p/episode.flightcast.com/01KZ9E2KPBF2DTNKFWW43J0VDR.mp3

Join Alex at the Live Scaling Workshop in Las Vegas: https://www.acquisition.com/o-vegas Many people settle for someone who just showed up—they call it a relationship, and then wonder why they’re struggling. In this episode, Alex and Leila break down the only question that matters when choosing a partner. From the traits that rub off over time to why needing a partner is the fastest way to picking the wrong one, this is the conversation most couples never have. In this episode 00:00 Sharing life goals from day one 02:21 The most important relationship question 04:52 Be okay alone before choosing a life partner 06:14 The ultimate relationship litmus test More Value: Download your free personalized $100M scaling roadmap in under 30 seconds: https://www.acquisition.com/roadmap?el=yt-alex-486r&htrafficsource=youtube Get the $100M Book Bundle: https://shop.acquisition.com/pages/100m-book-bundle Watch My Latest Episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@AlexHormozi/featured Learn How to Scale Your Business to Millions in Revenue: https://www.acquisition.com/ Discover The Easiest Business I Can Help You Start (Free Trial): https://www.skool.com/hormozi Additional Free Books and Video Courses: https://www.acquisition.com/training DISCLOSURE: Information shared here is for educational purposes only. Individuals and business owners should evaluate their own business strategies and identify any potential risks. The information shared here is not a guarantee of success. Your results may vary. Copyright © 2026.

## Transcript

[0:00] First date, I was like, this is what I want to do. Would you like to come with me? Yeah, but I think that that's not... It's because most people don't know their goals. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. And I think even now, like, we're able to articulate our goals so much better than we were in the beginning. We just knew we were, like, trying to fucking go places. You know what I mean? And, like, I'll do whatever it takes. Yeah. Hunger. But it's been, like... And if the goal shifted, it was more like it got clearer more than it changed. Yeah.
[0:28] It was blurry, but it was like, in the beginning it was directional. It was like, I wanna go this way and we'll figure it out as we go. But if one day you were like, I don't want to build these things, I don't wanna build hospitals and build cities and do this, you know, all this, like see what two people can do in one lifetime, I would, it would be very hard for me because it would be asking me to not be me. Yeah. And I don't know if I would be able to do that. I wouldn't expect you to. No, and I think that, I'm saying I think fundamentally because we've both shared that goal the whole time,
[0:58] We've it's we've never I've never felt like I've I mean we get probably I'm sure lots of flack from the unit for this But like I've never felt like I've had to make sacrifices for you Mm-hmm like I haven't had to compromise my goals, which is another way of saying I haven't had to compromise myself in order to be in our relationship Yeah, I think I was really nervous in the beginning and then over time you only continually reinforce to me that I could be myself because it was so many years of conditioning to hide
[1:28] what I really wanted. And I think that's actually like what you've taught me a lot is just like complete self-acceptance. A lot of it has been like me just sharing things with you of like how I really feel or like some may say like the dark side or like dark desires and the things that I want that feel in contrast with what maybe society projects on what I should want. And you've always just been like incredibly accepting every time. Even like when I was like, dude,
[1:53] I don't want to make dinner every night. I don't want to do all this stuff. And like, I was really worried. I was like, oh my gosh, like this is, but I was like, it's not aligned with my goals. Like me cooking dinner every night to be a good wife. I value myself here, leading people, making people's lives better. That lights me up. Making lasagna does not. And you were like, I don't even give a fuck. Yeah. I said, if you want to make dinner, I will be happy that you made dinner. If you want to make money, I will be happy that you made money.
[2:20] I mean, I think the question that people need to ask themselves is, does this person make it easier or harder to achieve my goals? And it doesn't mean that they're actively trying to sabotage you. It doesn't mean they're a bad person. No, it doesn't mean any of that. It's just like, it's that simple of a question. Also, I think the proxy to that is like, do I respect myself more or less being in a relationship with this person?
[2:43] That's something that I prompted to a friend of mine months ago when they were trying to navigate a really tough relationship and I was like, I watch you lose respect for yourself every day that you're in a relationship because this person is actually, you're trying to go towards your goals and they're actively dragging you away. It was somewhat active sabotage. And then it's like, not only are you not going towards your goals, but you're actually degrading your sense of self.
[3:13] I think it's also the, like, what traits about this person do I admire, number one, because whatever they have is going to rub off on me. And then if I see myself with a blend of my traits and theirs, does that new person...
[3:31] is that new person more or less likely to achieve my current goals? And so, like, I know that I need to be more patient. And so you having patience is like, yeah, if I had some of that rub off on me, that'd be a good thing. Hey, if I was a little more empathetic, that would probably rub off. That'd probably be a good thing. That'd probably increase the likelihood that I hit my goals. And I think a lot of people have really mid-significant others just really, like, blah, like just a human. Great. Congrats.
[3:59] They're like, this person did not leave when I was there. It's like, well, that's cool. It's actually interesting. Because we even met somebody who said, like, I met this girl on a date, and she just never left. And that was why they were with them. They were like, yeah, she brought her bags, and then we just kept dating. I was like, did you ever pause to think this is the right person for you? Yeah, she just hung around.
[4:23] Again, it's like, I love the Sword of Gryffindor from Harry Potter, I'll say it again. But it had an enchantment on it, which was, it only drinks in that which makes it stronger. And I think it's like, you are that metal, you are that sword, and you're going to be putting yourself into a bath with this other person. But you may not only take in that which makes you stronger, you may just take in everything. And that may end up making you weaker. And when I say weaker, I mean less likely to achieve the things that you want or become the person that you want to become.
[4:52] And I think it's just, I think it's very hard for people because everyone's just so afraid of being alone. And I think maybe the first step is being okay with being alone. Being like, I would rather be with just me than be with someone who makes me less like me in order to be with them. I mean, I remember, well, before we met, I'd been alone for like almost two years. I got out of a bad relationship and I was like, what am I doing? I don't wanna recreate that again, you know?
[5:22] And I think being alone was, it's just never, and even so, like even now, if I'm, like I like, we both actually really like alone time. Yeah. Which I think is really important in terms of, like, there's, we don't have, like, high requirements. You know what I mean? Everything's such a bonus, which I think is actually what I really like, is things that when I was young were told, like, you need, you have needs, you have emotional needs, you have these. Yeah.
[5:49] I think it was all a fucking lie. And I think it's actually really unhealthy if you have to put, quote, needs upon a partner. And I think I've become such a better person and a better spouse for looking at things as bonuses. If we get to spend an afternoon together on Sunday afternoon, bonus. But if you tell me that you have to work or I tell you that I have to work,
[6:09] fine. I'm not gonna be upset about it. I'm gonna go do stuff for myself. Yeah, right? Like, a lot of people don't know how to be busy. Basically, a lot of people have nothing going on in their lives. Yeah, it's fair. And so they require their spouse or significant other for attention, affection and approval. Dance monkey. They need them. Yeah, they're like, hey, I'm bored, entertain me. And some people literally say that, which I find ridiculous. But I think a really good limits test is what is this person entering my life change about my behavior?
[6:37] And so thinking, okay, when I'm on my own, I work out like this. I eat like this. I work like this. I go to sleep at this time. These are the social things that I find meaningful or interesting. Now, when this person enters my life, how many of those things that when I had nothing interfering with me change in their expression? Do I work less? Do I work out less? Do I eat differently? Do I spend my time differently?
[7:02] Well, if that occurs, then all of those changes will certainly change the outputs of your life. And are those changes to the outputs what you want? And I think most people, if they really looked at themselves in the mirror, would be like, no. Yeah.

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