# One-Minute Habits That Can Transform Your Child’s Day | Kira Willey (Bonus Episode)

An episode of [Minimalist Moms Podcast | Purposeful Life & Parenting Tips](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1159498258), 22 Jun 2026, 30 min.

Audio: https://prefix.up.audio/s/pdst.fm/e/dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/pscrb.fm/rss/p/clrtpod.com/m/mgln.ai/e/35/audio2.redcircle.com/episodes/dd8bef5b-347a-466f-8fa9-fbbc354b641e/stream.mp3

What if some of the most challenging moments of parenting - morning chaos, bedtime resistance, and emotional meltdowns - could become opportunities for connection instead of conflict? In this conversation, Diane sits down with mindfulness expert, recording artist, and bestselling author Kira Willey to discuss her latest book, The Joyful Child. Kira shares how simple, playful practices rooted in movement, music, and mindfulness can help children develop emotional regulation skills while bringing more joy into everyday family life. Rather than waiting until children are overwhelmed to teach coping strategies, Kira explains how small, intentional moments woven throughout the day can build resilience, focus, self-awareness, and calm over time. Links Discussed in This Episode | • Checkout the podcast storefront for recommendations from Diane. • Kira's Resource: Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids by Kim John Payne • Connect with Kira • Website • Instagram • Book: The Joyful Child: Calm the Chaos, Connect with Your Kids, and Create More Happiness in Your Daily Routines About Kira | Kira Willey is the author of seven bestselling children's books that have been translated into twenty-four languages, including the #1 beloved bestseller Breathe Like a Bear. A world-renowned recording artist, Kira is also the co-creator and host of three PBS mindfulness, music, and yoga television shows and the creator of Rockin' Yoga school programs. As a yoga teacher and lifelong musician, Kira's unique and powerful method of integrating music and movement into joyful, child-centered mindfulness practices has resulted in millions of streams, more than half a million children's book sales, and a massive, devoted fan base spanning the globe. A mother of three, she lives in eastern Pennsylvania. Episode Sponsors | The Minimalist Moms Podcast would not be possible without the support of weekly sponsors. Choosing brands that I believe in is important to me. I only want to recommend brands that I believe may help you in your daily life. As always, never feel pressured into buying anything. Remember: if you don't need it, it's not a good deal! Enjoy the Podcast? Post a review and share it! If you enjoyed tuning into this podcast, then do not hesitate to write a review. You can also share this with your fellow mothers so that they can be inspired to think more and do with less. Order (or review) my book, Minimalist Moms: Living & Parenting With Simplicity. You can contact me through my website, find me on Instagram, Pinterest or like The Minimalist Moms Page on Facebook. Our Sponsors: * Check out BetterHelp and use my code betterhelp.com for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.com * Check out Cure Hydration and use my code MINIMALIST for a great deal: https://www.curehydration.com * Check out DeleteMe and use my code joindeleteme.com/MINIMALIST for a great deal: https://joindeleteme.com * Check out Wayfair: https://www.wayfair.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

## Transcript

[0:00] \[SPEAKER_01\]: For those of you that are new around here, I released bonus episodes that serve a niche part of my audience.
[0:04] \[SPEAKER_01\]: So if this content is something that doesn't fit what you're looking for, check out the other episodes that drop this week or join me back here next week for episodes that you don't want to miss.
[0:14] \[SPEAKER_02\]: We live in a world of words and explanations and schedules and agendas and we just inhabit two different worlds as it should be, right, completely
[0:28] \[SPEAKER_02\]: When things are going sideways or going off the rails, what's probably missing, what's often missing, is that connection on their level.
[0:35] \[SPEAKER_01\]: This is Diane Bowden, and you're listening to the minimalist mom's podcast.
[0:39] \[SPEAKER_01\]: What if some of the most challenging moments of parenting, morning chaos, bedtime resistance, and emotional meltdowns, could become opportunities for connection instead of conflict?
[0:49] \[SPEAKER_01\]: In today's conversation, I sit down with mindfulness expert, recording artist, and best selling author, Kira Willi, to discuss her latest book The Joyful Child.
[0:58] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Kira shares how simple, playful practices rooted in movement, music, and mindfulness can help children develop emotional regulation skills while bringing more joy into every day family life.
[1:09] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Rather than waiting until children are overwhelmed to teach coping strategies, Kira Kira explains how small, intentional moments woven throughout the day can build resilience, focus, self-awareness, and calm over time.
[1:21] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Quick a move before we get there.
[1:22] \[SPEAKER_01\]: If you've been enjoying the content near on the minimalist mom's podcast, share your favorite episode with a friend.
[1:26] \[SPEAKER_01\]: I don't forget to hit five stars if you haven't done so yet.
[1:30] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Thank you so much for being here today, and with that, let's get into this conversation with Kira.
[1:41] \[SPEAKER_01\]: And I will say here at the beginning, would you say that your book is set up for, I guess what's the age range that you're hoping to hit with this book?
[1:48] \[SPEAKER_02\]: I would say under 10, the sweet spot of all of my books and music is really pre-k through middle elementary and the concepts work for everybody, but I would say under 10 and families yet.
[2:01] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Yeah, okay.
[2:01] \[SPEAKER_01\]: So the book, again, is the joyful child, calm the chaos, connect with your kids and create more happiness in your daily routines.
[2:08] \[SPEAKER_01\]: You have a lot of fun little activities and songs that we can play with our children and experience with our children to kind of help start the day off right, just so much wisdom in here.
[2:17] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Quickly before we get into it, I'd love for you to introduce yourself to listeners and then we'll get into it.
[2:21] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Yeah, I'm Kira Wily.
[2:23] \[SPEAKER_02\]: I am a musician and authorist speaker, a performer.
[2:27] \[SPEAKER_02\]: I've been working with mindfulness with children, based in music and movement for more than 20 years.
[2:34] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And I have seven children's books out.
[2:36] \[SPEAKER_02\]: based in mindfulness, seven children's albumed out, and I go all over, bringing mindfulness, rooted in music and movement to children and the grown-ups who love them in schools and at conferences and all over the place.
[2:50] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And that is my mission.
[2:53] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Yeah, absolutely.
[2:54] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Well, and you say that with the joyful trial, you say that joy can actually become a pathway to calm and emotional regulation.
[3:00] \[SPEAKER_01\]: And I do think that if we think of it in such a way, it allows our parenting to become more intentional and not just behave your modification.
[3:09] \[SPEAKER_01\]: So I'd love for you to expand on your idea behind why creating joy does that.
[3:14] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Yeah, I think that we sometimes think of joy as a reward at the end of the,
[3:20] \[SPEAKER_02\]: the list, or after we've checked the box, right, or done the chores, or, you know, been productive or something like that, it needs to be the pathway, the journey instead of the destination.
[3:31] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And when we make joyful moments, small moments of joyful connection, part of our daily routines with children, everything goes better.
[3:40] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Just the things that we're doing anyway.
[3:41] \[SPEAKER_02\]: We're already doing wake up and getting dressed in meal time and car time and bedtime, right?
[3:46] \[SPEAKER_02\]: If we can bring in joyful moments of playful,
[3:50] \[SPEAKER_02\]: presence and connection, everything goes better.
[3:52] \[SPEAKER_02\]: We don't need to wait to have the joy at the end of the list.
[3:57] \[SPEAKER_02\]: It's not just a means to an end.
[4:00] \[SPEAKER_02\]: It's the journey.
[4:02] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And everything goes more smoothly.
[4:04] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Yeah, for sure.
[4:06] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Well, and you blend that mindfulness and then the movement and then the music and imagination pieces all together.
[4:12] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Why do you think that that so deeply resonates with children?
[4:17] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Children live in a world of imagination, right?
[4:20] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And play and moving and singing and wiggling and dancing.
[4:23] \[SPEAKER_02\]: We live in a world of words and explanations and schedules and agendas and we just inhabit two different worlds as it should be, right?
[4:33] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Completely developmentally appropriate.
[4:35] \[SPEAKER_02\]: So when we want to connect with our children, when things are going sideways or going off the rails, what's probably missing, what's often missing, is that connection on their level.
[4:47] \[SPEAKER_02\]: You know, the reason we need to get in the car or go to the store or do the thing with our words and our explanations.
[4:52] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And that just, whoa, sales rate over their head, they don't have the agenda that we have.
[4:57] \[SPEAKER_02\]: So, our words are just, you know, sailing on by, they're tuning them out.
[5:02] \[SPEAKER_02\]: When we connect with them where they live with what makes sense in their bodies, now they feel seen and understood and heard, and then that cooperation,
[5:12] \[SPEAKER_02\]: You know, compliance, which is not a word I like, but is accurate in a lot of ways, comes a lot more easily.
[5:19] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Yeah, for sure.
[5:21] \[SPEAKER_01\]: So I talk a lot about simplifying life here in the Menelusbombs podcast, and I'm curious to hear your opinions on how you think playful rhythms can reduce overwell.
[5:31] \[SPEAKER_01\]: I'm not just in our home, but like you say in the car.
[5:34] \[SPEAKER_02\]: There's nothing extra you need to do to bring in these moments of connection, right?
[5:39] \[SPEAKER_02\]: It's literally just your imagination and 30 or 60 seconds of time.
[5:43] \[SPEAKER_02\]: In your presence, that might be the hardest thing to do is your full presence, but it simplifies everything.
[5:50] \[SPEAKER_02\]: It saves time and makes you more productive because things just go more smoothly.
[6:02] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Yeah, you speak to those transitional periods and adding some joy imagination and whimsy to those time periods.
[6:09] \[SPEAKER_01\]: I think the hard part for some adults is, we do take ourselves so seriously.
[6:13] \[SPEAKER_01\]: I'm speaking to myself because it's hard for me to have all of us do.
[6:16] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Yeah, I would say the best time for me is if I'm reading a book, I'll really get into the characters.
[6:21] \[SPEAKER_01\]: But otherwise, connecting into that imaginative, whimsical piece is challenging, especially if you're tired.
[6:27] \[SPEAKER_01\]: So I think that we have to also just break some of our walls down and opt into some of these,
[6:34] \[SPEAKER_01\]: I guess these opportunities for imagine if to play in connection just because we will set the path for the day.
[6:42] \[SPEAKER_01\]: It'll just be so much better if we just take a little bit of time and effort on our part.
[6:46] \[SPEAKER_02\]: A 100% and every chapter in the book has first comm starts with you, little activities that are exercises for you.
[6:52] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Again, 30 to 60 seconds.
[6:54] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Nothing in the book takes more than 60 seconds.
[6:57] \[SPEAKER_02\]: So it's like, you know, I always tell that you can't tell me, you can't find 60 seconds, because I know you can't, you know.
[7:02] \[SPEAKER_02\]: But there's comm starts with you, exercise because the most important resource we can give our child is the most centered, grounded version of ourselves, number one.
[7:13] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And number two, it helps you get in touch with that, you know, person you used to be when you were younger, who did get completely absorbed in something, in play and forgot about what time it was,
[7:26] \[SPEAKER_02\]: you know, making a fairy house or, you know, coming up with a story about your dolls in her lives or whatever it is.
[7:33] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And it helps you reconnect with that because when we can reconnect with that, what a great thing to model for our children first of all, that wonder and joy and getting completely absorbed in play are worthy goals unto themselves.
[7:47] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Also, you'll be more regulated and calm and, you know, a more fun parent to be around, quite frankly, right?
[7:56] \[SPEAKER_02\]: So a big part of the book in a fun and not preachy way is how are you showing up, how are we showing up, right?
[8:04] \[SPEAKER_02\]: We gotta get our emotional house in order in order to show up in the best way for our children.
[8:09] \[SPEAKER_02\]: I mean, their nervous systems are wired to mirror ours.
[8:15] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Our calm as contagious, our chaos as contagious, right?
[8:18] \[SPEAKER_02\]: So our state really is so important as to the emotional temperature of the home.
[8:25] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Yeah.
[8:25] \[SPEAKER_01\]: No, absolutely.
[8:26] \[SPEAKER_01\]: I'm glad that you spoke to that because I was going to talk about that parental regulation being such an essential part for our children.
[8:32] \[SPEAKER_01\]: I'm also thinking, so you said ages, like toddler to 10 years old, my daughter's 11, I'm thinking even bringing her in on some of this, she would like to do this for her sexual brother.
[8:43] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Like she would like to eat on a maybe that more, I don't want to say adult side, but like more of a leader in these roles.
[8:49] \[SPEAKER_01\]: So I think even
[8:52] \[SPEAKER_01\]: a cool opportunity for are somewhat tween children to get involved with helping with the little or ones.
[8:58] \[SPEAKER_02\]: 100% and it'll benefit them too, right?
[9:01] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And it's meant to be a springboard for creating your own moments of presence and playful connection, right?
[9:06] \[SPEAKER_02\]: So if you don't resonate with the exact concept, like, you know, bear breath, for example, it's come up with something else.
[9:12] \[SPEAKER_02\]: It does resonate with your older elementary child or your tween.
[9:15] \[SPEAKER_02\]: It's the same concept, right?
[9:17] \[SPEAKER_02\]: It's
[9:21] \[SPEAKER_02\]: means something to them, where they live, that gets them into their bodies, that helps develop that self-awareness.
[9:26] \[SPEAKER_02\]: The concepts are sound for all ages, for us to, you know, and it's just that when you want to connect with a young one with a toddler or an early elementary, you want to have a child friendly concept that they relate to, right?
[9:38] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Like,
[9:38] \[SPEAKER_02\]: blowing out birthday candles or sniffing a flower or hibernating like a bear for the winter.
[9:43] \[SPEAKER_02\]: These are concepts that they love and are happily engaged with, instead of you explaining, you know what?
[9:48] \[SPEAKER_02\]: If we take five long deep breaths, it's really gonna stimulate your vagus nerve and bring your nervous system back home.
[9:53] \[SPEAKER_02\]: They're like, I don't care, but they love to pretend to be bear's hibernating for the winter in their cozy case.
[10:00] \[SPEAKER_01\]: I wanna work through your book a little bit when the various chapters.
[10:04] \[SPEAKER_01\]: So you do talk about at the very beginning how to create that calm,
[10:08] \[SPEAKER_01\]: connection and creating that start of the day and then you go into rise and shine starting your day with presence and joy.
[10:14] \[SPEAKER_01\]: I'd love for you just to share one example of how we can do that in our in our morning.
[10:19] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Yeah, the morning as we all know, sets the tone for the whole day.
[10:23] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And when the morning, you know, feels frazzled and chaotic, it's just, it kind of feels like it's going to go downhill from there.
[10:29] \[SPEAKER_02\]: So a quick moment of a playful check in when you can be fully present, like
[10:37] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Even though I know there's all the things going on and we're trying to get out the door and multiple kids and she's on and backpacks and all that, I get it, I have three, I totally know and our mornings when they were little were could be very chaotic.
[10:48] \[SPEAKER_02\]: But something like the weather report, which is in the butt, which is simply taking a moment, checking the weather outside with your young one.
[10:55] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Like, what's it look, oh, it looks like it's sunny, but I see some clouds rolling in, then taking a breath and saying, what's the weather like inside you today?
[11:04] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Do you feel sunny?
[11:08] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Does it feel sparkly like a, you know, a cloud full of snowflakes and let them answer and it's a great way to get a beat on how they're feeling right using a child friendly concept that even really little ones understand also it's training them to tune in to what's happening and developing that incredibly critical skill of self awareness, which is the foundation of self regulation, which is what we really want our children to be able to do is to regulate themselves, meaning just manage their bodies and emotions.
[11:37] \[SPEAKER_02\]: So again, 60 seconds, it's fun.
[11:40] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And you've checked in to see what's happening with that.
[11:43] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Yeah, that's so good.
[11:44] \[SPEAKER_01\]: I love that.
[11:46] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Okay, the next chapter is on the road from backseat battles to joyful adventures.
[11:50] \[SPEAKER_01\]: We are on the road quite a bit, and I never give, unless we're like on a vacation.
[11:56] \[SPEAKER_01\]: I never give tablets.
[11:57] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Like we just have to interact with one another play games.
[12:00] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Okay, great for you.
[12:02] \[SPEAKER_01\]: But I'd love to have some more insight into how I can make this easier, specifically for my six-and-a-earld.
[12:08] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Observational games are great in the in the car right and there's lots of them.
[12:12] \[SPEAKER_02\]: I mean we played licensed play games when I was little little but you can do a game like outside inside where you Listen for what the farthest away sound you can hear is like really get quiet and focus can you hear a plane overhead right can you hear a car on the other side of the highway
[12:38] \[SPEAKER_02\]: then you bring it even closer.
[12:40] \[SPEAKER_02\]: What can you hear?
[12:41] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Maybe inside your own body, do your own breath.
[12:45] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Can you hear your tummy, gurgling?
[12:47] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Can you hear the rustling on the seat, right?
[12:50] \[SPEAKER_02\]: So a mindful listening exercise isn't credible for focus.
[12:54] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And it brings you fully into the present moment, which is the very definition of mindfulness.
[12:59] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And again, it's building that awareness of and that presence that's so key for regulation for all of us.
[13:06] \[SPEAKER_02\]: So that's just one.
[13:07] \[SPEAKER_02\]: You could also do something like hot air balloon, breath there you go.
[13:11] \[SPEAKER_02\]: You feel it with your hot air balloon and you let it out.
[13:14] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Those short little inhales really focus the energy, the exhale releases tension and stress.
[13:20] \[SPEAKER_02\]: It gets a little bit of arm movement and you can have a whole conversation about where you're going in your hot air balloon.
[13:29] \[SPEAKER_01\]: I love the balloon one and then you we didn't I don't know if you'll get to this in your book because I think you wrote a book about the bear breath previously correct.
[13:35] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Oh, yeah.
[13:36] \[SPEAKER_01\]: No, I have breathing like a bear would you I'm going to ask you that earlier.
[13:40] \[SPEAKER_01\]: What you meant.
[13:40] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Yeah, so breathe like a bear is one of the more of my seven books, but that one has 30 different exercises in it and one of them is bear breath.
[13:48] \[SPEAKER_02\]: There's lots lots of different ones for all different times a day.
[13:59] \[SPEAKER_01\]: There's something about this time of year spring, a little more light in the evenings that makes me want our home, especially the kitchen to feel calmer and more functional.
[14:08] \[SPEAKER_01\]: And obviously, I know that when my space feels less cluttered, I actually enjoy cooking more.
[14:14] \[SPEAKER_01\]: One of the changes that's made a real difference to us is been switching to care away.
[14:18] \[SPEAKER_01\]: I'm sure this before, but I genuinely love these pans.
[14:21] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Number one, they're beautiful, but they're also just really practical for every day life.
[14:26] \[SPEAKER_01\]: You don't need a lot of oil, everything cooks evenly and cleanup is simple, which matters a lot in this busy season.
[14:32] \[SPEAKER_01\]: And honestly, just having cookware, as I said, looks really good in store as well, makes my kitchen feel more pulled together.
[14:37] \[SPEAKER_01\]: It's one of those small shifts that actually changes how your home feels day-to-day.
[14:41] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Right now, you can save up to $230 on the 12-piece cook set versus buying the products individually.
[14:47] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Plus, if you want to include their fan favorite minis duo, you can save up to $350.
[14:53] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Visit carawayhome.com slash minimalist to take an additional 10% off using code minimalist on your next purchase.
[15:00] \[SPEAKER_01\]: This deal is exclusive for my listeners, so visit carawayhome.com slash minimalist
[15:12] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Okay, going back to your book, this current book, brain boosters, fun ways to help kids focus and listen.
[15:18] \[SPEAKER_01\]: And when would this be a good time?
[15:19] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Like, you could do these at any time of time.
[15:22] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Anytime a day, anytime you need the attention for a task, but particularly is it homework time, right?
[15:26] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Or do they need to focus on the chores they need to do?
[15:29] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Do they need to listen?
[15:30] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Because you really are gonna have an important conversation.
[15:32] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Anything where you just need to kind of wake up the brain and bring the focus to tension sort of online, so to speak.
[15:42] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And so many grownups, I think, are hesitant to use music and rhythm and song.
[15:47] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Even though most of us, when our children were babies, we padded them and rhythm, we sang songs to them, we hummed all the time, but somehow when children get a little bit older, I feel like we're like, oh, I'm gonna do that anymore.
[16:00] \[SPEAKER_02\]: It's actually an incredible tool.
[16:02] \[SPEAKER_02\]: for engagement with children.
[16:04] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And it lights up their brains in a way that speaking doesn't.
[16:07] \[SPEAKER_02\]: So even just clapping a lot of teachers go do the debt, but that's that, right?
[16:13] \[SPEAKER_02\]: But you can expand on that so much.
[16:15] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Make it a more complex rhythm, use body percussion, and have them repeat it back to you.
[16:20] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And you have to focus in order to do that.
[16:23] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Use a tongue twister and put it to a rhythm and repeat it back.
[16:26] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Or do something like rainstorm, which is when you just,
[16:29] \[SPEAKER_02\]: You make the sound of the wind.
[16:31] \[SPEAKER_02\]: You make the sound of the rain drops.
[16:33] \[SPEAKER_02\]: You pound on your lap and you make the rain and you do lightning and thunder.
[16:38] \[SPEAKER_02\]: I do this in assemblies with hundreds of kids.
[16:41] \[SPEAKER_02\]: You make the crazy storm lightning.
[16:43] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Thunder lightning thunder.
[16:44] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain.
[16:46] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And then you bring it back down to rain drops.
[16:50] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And wind.
[16:51] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And then the wind blows the last of the storm away.
[16:55] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And stop.
[16:56] \[SPEAKER_02\]: So we breathe in.
[16:59] \[SPEAKER_02\]: It gets a lot of movement in.
[17:01] \[SPEAKER_02\]: It gets a lot of the sillies out.
[17:02] \[SPEAKER_02\]: You can just go bonkers with the rain and then you bring it back down and you have their total focus detention.
[17:08] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Works a concern.
[17:09] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Yeah, oh, I love that.
[17:10] \[SPEAKER_01\]: I love that you do that in a assembly.
[17:12] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Just how cool that probably sounds with all those people.
[17:15] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Hundreds of kids, yeah, that's really neat.
[17:17] \[SPEAKER_01\]: All right, next chapter, let's play.
[17:19] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Preserving the magic and wonder of your child's early years.
[17:24] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Yes, this is so important.
[17:25] \[SPEAKER_02\]: I talk a lot about free play and unstructured play
[17:29] \[SPEAKER_02\]: A lot of children, these days just don't have downtime, right?
[17:34] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And there's really schedule.
[17:35] \[SPEAKER_02\]: They've got the lessons and the activities and everything else.
[17:39] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And I don't mean to use activities to structure that time, but again, it's jumping off points, right?
[17:45] \[SPEAKER_02\]: So you can do games like Red Light Greenlight, which again, are great for focus.
[17:50] \[SPEAKER_02\]: You can do, like, let's go swimming, which is a great one to pretend, get some big movement in.
[17:56] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And there's all kinds of ones you can do.
[17:58] \[SPEAKER_02\]: But the most important part of this chapter is to connect with children where they are and what matters to them.
[18:04] \[SPEAKER_02\]: What are they into?
[18:05] \[SPEAKER_02\]: What do they love?
[18:06] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And let them do that for unstructured periods of time.
[18:11] \[SPEAKER_02\]: It's so important for kids to not be directed by a coach, a parent, or grown up all of the time.
[18:18] \[SPEAKER_02\]: This is how they learn to socialize, how to solve problems on their own.
[18:21] \[SPEAKER_02\]: All that this great executive function, these great executive function skills happen when they are self-directed.
[18:28] \[SPEAKER_02\]: So one of the best things you could do at play time is give them some raw materials and let them go, right?
[18:36] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Literally, toys that don't have one purpose.
[18:39] \[SPEAKER_02\]: The all the toys that go beep, beep, boop, and have one thing that they do,
[18:48] \[SPEAKER_02\]: plaything does.
[18:49] \[SPEAKER_02\]: For like the quote is, I'm not sure who said it, but I love it.
[18:53] \[SPEAKER_02\]: A stick can be a thousand things.
[18:56] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Right?
[18:57] \[SPEAKER_02\]: A stick can be a thousand things.
[18:59] \[SPEAKER_02\]: I mean, there was a summer when my son, who when he was probably four, he carried around a cut length of garden hose, the entire summer.
[19:07] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And it was like the radius thing.
[19:10] \[SPEAKER_02\]: But depending on the day, it was like a telescope.
[19:13] \[SPEAKER_02\]: It was a sword.
[19:14] \[SPEAKER_02\]: It was something he did yard work with, you know, imitating the people doing yard.
[19:19] \[SPEAKER_02\]: I mean, all kinds of things, it could be a thousand things.
[19:22] \[SPEAKER_02\]: The batteries never ran out.
[19:24] \[SPEAKER_02\]: There were no batteries, you know, and that is so, so important for children's development.
[19:30] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Yeah, no, I love that.
[19:32] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Outdoor play in general with rocks, yes, and sticks, and we just have so many missed opportunities to
[19:39] \[SPEAKER_01\]: allow for that imagine play for sure.
[19:42] \[SPEAKER_01\]: All right, a couple more chapters.
[19:43] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Two more, I guess, times of day for connection points, time by ending the meal time madness and creating connection around the table.
[19:51] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Hmm, meal time is a tough one.
[19:53] \[SPEAKER_02\]: The wheels are coming right off the wagon for everybody, right?
[19:56] \[SPEAKER_02\]: You're tired, you're getting cranky, you might be getting cranky.
[20:01] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And I think an important thing to do at meal time is to decide what is important to you.
[20:06] \[SPEAKER_02\]: really what is important to you and that's different for everyone.
[20:09] \[SPEAKER_02\]: For some people it may be that we all sit at the table together.
[20:14] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Okay, is that for five minutes?
[20:15] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Is that for ten minutes?
[20:16] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Set a timer, right?
[20:18] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Make that your goal.
[20:19] \[SPEAKER_02\]: For some people it's that you take a bite of the new thing and you try it.
[20:22] \[SPEAKER_02\]: For some people it's it's manners, right?
[20:25] \[SPEAKER_02\]: But don't try to do all the things at once.
[20:28] \[SPEAKER_02\]: I remember envisioning like family dinners with my children before I had children and how everyone would be sharing their day and trying the healthy food that I made and all this kind of stuff.
[20:37] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And it's just not like that when you have three little ones at the table, right?
[20:41] \[SPEAKER_02\]: You're lucky to get them sitting and not much food being thrown and not too much complaining and not tears, right?
[20:46] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Neither yourself or theirs.
[20:48] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And so,
[20:49] \[SPEAKER_02\]: If you can, first of all, decide your values.
[20:52] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Second, bring in some playful connection at the table because when I look back when my three were really little, I wish I had lightened up.
[21:00] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Honestly, I just wish I had lightened up and made it more fun, you know?
[21:06] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And I do give lots of ideas for simple things that you can do to make it fun.
[21:09] \[SPEAKER_02\]: You know, whether that's a picnic on the floor with the same exact food or, you know,
[21:14] \[SPEAKER_02\]: putting tea lights on the table, turning out the lights and calling it fancy dinner, like something like that, make it fun.
[21:20] \[SPEAKER_02\]: But I put a lot of connection activities in the book, like a sloth, for example, which is, if you have a gobble monster, which I used to have, like the, the, the, the, I'm done, you know, yeah, literally imagine your sloths.
[21:32] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Do it together.
[21:34] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Quart really slow and make a very dramatic game out of trying, at least one or two bites.
[21:41] \[SPEAKER_02\]: super slowly.
[21:43] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And looking at it, right?
[21:45] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And tasting it and chewing it intentionally and swelling and just being like a sloth and slow motion.
[21:51] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Children love to be dramatic in moving slow motion, right?
[21:55] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Even if you can get two or three bites of mindful eating slowly, that's a win, right?
[22:01] \[SPEAKER_02\]: That's a win.
[22:02] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Or could you play food explorers where you imagine you're an explorer in a distant land trying an exotic food and maybe that's just the different way you made the chicken great whatever it is, but again, be an explorer put an explorer hat on investigate what's on your plate talk about the color the texture the smell have a mindful bite.
[22:26] \[SPEAKER_02\]: congratulate your explorer for taking a bite, right?
[22:29] \[SPEAKER_02\]: There's lots of easy and quick ways.
[22:31] \[SPEAKER_02\]: They don't add anything extra to what you need to do, but you can connect in a playful way and make meal time go easier for everybody, especially you.
[22:40] \[SPEAKER_01\]: I love that.
[22:41] \[SPEAKER_01\]: I think that's probably one of the biggest takeaways.
[22:44] \[SPEAKER_01\]: that I'll have is to lighten up, my youngest star's eight and six, and there's still plenty of time that I can implement that as well.
[22:52] \[SPEAKER_01\]: And I think, again, that kind of goes back to this idea of not taking ourselves so seriously, and what we get inconvenienced by is it going to really matter, like even an hour from now, just we take this off those so seriously.
[23:06] \[SPEAKER_02\]: That's a great point, and that's actually an exercise I have for the grown-ups is called Time Traveler.
[23:10] \[SPEAKER_02\]: is when you're in the thick of it, like, you know, everything is just completely going bonkers, fast forward yourself, an hour a day, a week from now.
[23:21] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Is this gonna matter?
[23:23] \[SPEAKER_02\]: It's just a tiny blip on your family's timeline, so that can help you find a little bit of calm to deal with it.
[23:29] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Yeah.
[23:30] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Okay, last chapter, well, you have one more after that, but the last chapter we'll talk about is good night.
[23:36] \[SPEAKER_01\]: It's winding down even on hard days with closeness and calm.
[23:41] \[SPEAKER_02\]: I had a child who never slept.
[23:43] \[SPEAKER_02\]: I had just one of those kids wouldn't go to sleep, cried, cried, cried, separation, all of the things.
[23:51] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And so I come by this wisdom, the hard way.
[23:54] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And in hindsight, what I noticed that I did was I treated bedtime like a chore, like something that had to be done.
[24:03] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And of course, the worst it got, the worst it got, right?
[24:07] \[SPEAKER_02\]: If there's a way that we can take care of ourselves and again, lots of easy tips in there to do this before starting the bedtime routine, make sure our own needs are met, right?
[24:17] \[SPEAKER_02\]: So that we're not dreading that routine, dying to get back down to the couch where we're comfortable, right?
[24:24] \[SPEAKER_02\]: The our children feel it.
[24:27] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Again, they have their emotional barometer, right, is really sensitive to where we are.
[24:34] \[SPEAKER_02\]: So treating it like an opportunity for closeness as opposed to a chore to get through is huge and finding some of those moments of playful connection and allowing it to be something where we really see them where they are.
[24:51] \[SPEAKER_02\]: So the truth is at the end of the day they they want to be closer to you most of the time and we often are ready to separate from them.
[25:01] \[SPEAKER_02\]: So there's that conflict, right, at the end of the day.
[25:05] \[SPEAKER_02\]: So try and things like the worry box, right?
[25:08] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Which is imagining we're holding a little box.
[25:11] \[SPEAKER_02\]: It can hold all your worries, so you don't have to.
[25:14] \[SPEAKER_02\]: You see, do you have a worry, especially for anxious kids, right?
[25:17] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Which I had an anxious child as well.
[25:20] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Put it into the box.
[25:23] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Do you have another worry?
[25:24] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Put it into the box.
[25:26] \[SPEAKER_02\]: They can be big worries, or they can be teeny tiny worries.
[25:31] \[SPEAKER_02\]: and let them get all of it out, put it into the box and say, I'm gonna put the top on tight, and you either put it somewhere safe, or say, I'll hold this for you.
[25:42] \[SPEAKER_02\]: You don't have to think about those worries now.
[25:44] \[SPEAKER_02\]: You can rest, right?
[25:46] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Something like that, or bare breath, like we talked about, long, deep breath, like we're hybridating for the winter, or candle breath, which is a similar idea.
[25:55] \[SPEAKER_02\]: But all these activities are very, very calming,
[25:58] \[SPEAKER_02\]: and provide that sense of closeness that children really need at the end of the day.
[26:04] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Yeah, oh, so, so good.
[26:06] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Yeah, I mean, I think that it's so important that, again, the book is called The Joyful Child, but really looking to ourselves and starting with that connection piece to ourselves, to our regulation, to our inner child.
[26:17] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Like, we have to do that work before we can get to the outcome that we want for our children, that we all want for our children.
[26:24] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Like, we have to look at the self to fix all
[26:29] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Right.
[26:29] \[SPEAKER_02\]: It's so important.
[26:29] \[SPEAKER_02\]: I mean, we spend so much time and energy getting our children, the best resources, the best of everything, which granted important schools and food and all the other things, but we are their biggest resource, right?
[26:42] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Just the most regulated version of ourselves is way far, you know, out in front of any other resource that we can give them.
[26:49] \[SPEAKER_02\]: So it is, it's a critical piece.
[26:53] \[SPEAKER_01\]: for sure.
[26:55] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Well, Kira, where can listeners grab a copy of the book connect with you online if they want to hear it?
[27:01] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Yeah, the book is at thejoyfulchildbook.com.
[27:04] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And I'm at Kira Willy.
[27:05] \[SPEAKER_02\]: You can find me on my side or on Instagram.
[27:08] \[SPEAKER_02\]: I'd love to connect.
[27:09] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Yeah, thank you so much for having me.
[27:11] \[SPEAKER_02\]: I really appreciate it.
[27:12] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Yeah, of course.
[27:13] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Of course.
[27:13] \[SPEAKER_01\]: I'm so glad you have you here.
[27:15] \[SPEAKER_01\]: And then just quickly as we wrap up, I have two rapid fire questions for you.
[27:17] \[SPEAKER_01\]: It just gets to know you a little bit better.
[27:19] \[SPEAKER_01\]: The first one is what has been a beneficial resource in your life that you want to share with the listeners.
[27:24] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Oh, yes, I love this.
[27:25] \[SPEAKER_02\]: The work of Kim John Payne, who is an author, counselor therapist, I see you nodding, I know you know, and particularly the book, Simplicity Parenting.
[27:33] \[SPEAKER_02\]: How a huge impact on my parenting and my life, honestly.
[27:37] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Talks about the power of less, particularly for children.
[27:40] \[SPEAKER_02\]: It's just, it's a very powerful book.
[27:43] \[SPEAKER_02\]: It's a wonderful book.
[27:44] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Yeah, I agree.
[27:45] \[SPEAKER_01\]: That's on my list of favorites as well.
[27:46] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Such a wonderful book.
[27:47] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Oh, so good.
[27:48] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Yes.
[27:49] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Last question, what is something you can't stop talking about?
[27:53] \[SPEAKER_02\]: It's moving.
[27:54] \[SPEAKER_02\]: It's just it's moving for all of us for children.
[27:57] \[SPEAKER_02\]: So I talk constantly to parents and teachers about how important it is for children to move for their development for their regulation for all kinds of reasons, but also for us and I don't mean I listen to your episode about walking, which was so great and I do lots of walking and I think that's great to get out there.
[28:15] \[SPEAKER_02\]: I also mean standing up and shaking your body, you know, I mean a one minute dance party in the kitchen.
[28:21] \[SPEAKER_02\]: It's such a quick and effective way to shift your energy.
[28:25] \[SPEAKER_02\]: That's what's just like underestimated.
[28:28] \[SPEAKER_02\]: I think by so many people who feel stuck in their days or blah, or they're out of laptop all day long, you just gotta get up and move and it doesn't take long.
[28:37] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And I've been implementing it more in my life when I was writing this book.
[28:40] \[SPEAKER_02\]: I would set a timer 25 minutes and get up and move.
[28:44] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And the days that I did that, oh my gosh, I got so much done and I felt so much better.
[28:51] \[SPEAKER_02\]: talk to them and I'm gonna breath about the power of moving.
[28:53] \[SPEAKER_02\]: It's so important.
[28:55] \[SPEAKER_01\]: No, absolutely.
[28:56] \[SPEAKER_01\]: You've given us so much to think about here.
[28:58] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Again, if my final word and takeaway is to lighten up, I think that's such a great advice, such an easy, simple reminder, but so hard to do.
[29:05] \[SPEAKER_01\]: So it's a good reminder, Nick.
[29:06] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Appreciate you just joining me today.
[29:08] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Absolutely.
[29:09] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Thank you so much.
[29:12] \[SPEAKER_01\]: What did you think of the episode?
[29:13] \[SPEAKER_01\]: I hope you enjoyed the conversation.
[29:15] \[SPEAKER_01\]: To learn more about today's guest, including links, resources related to everything discussed today, visit the episode page at minimalsmonspodcast.com, where you can find the entire podcast archive, as well as my book, minimalsmons, living and parenting with simplicity, or other ways to connect or work with me online.
[29:34] \[SPEAKER_01\]: If you'd like to support the podcast, the easiest and most impactful thing you can do is subscribe to the show on iTunes, Spotify, or YouTube, or wherever you listen to podcasts, and leave a rating or review of your favorite episode.
[29:46] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Lastly, sharing the show or your favorite episode with friends and social media is very helpful and will encourage others on their journey to think more and do with less.

Shows are listed from Apple Podcasts' charts and directory, and Podcast Index where it is used. Every show and episode belongs to its publisher and plays from the publisher's own feed; this site hosts none of them.