# Are You Drifting Apart? The Tiny Habits That Make or Break a Marriage | Casey & Meygan Caston, Marriage365 (EP446)

An episode of [Minimalist Moms Podcast | Purposeful Life & Parenting Tips](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1159498258), 8 Apr 2026, 37 min.

Audio: https://prefix.up.audio/s/pdst.fm/e/dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/pscrb.fm/rss/p/clrtpod.com/m/mgln.ai/e/35/audio2.redcircle.com/episodes/292442a9-4b53-4854-bd4e-2893271c2988/stream.mp3

In this episode, Diane sits down with Casey and Meygan Caston, co-founders of Marriage 365 and authors of The Marriage Habit, to explore why modern relationships often feel strained - and what we can do about it. They share how today’s culture of constant distraction, convenience, and digital noise can quietly pull couples apart, leading to what they call “the drift.” But more importantly, Casey and Megan offer tools to rebuild connection. If you’ve ever felt like you and your partner are just a little out of sync, this conversation is a really helpful place to start. Links Discussed in This Episode | • Checkout the podcast storefront for recommendations from Diane. • Previous Episode: Cultivating an Intentional Marriage (EP264) • Connect with Marriage365: • Website • Instagram • Book: The Marriage Habit: 10 Simple Practices to Build a More Intentional, Thriving Relationship About Marriage365| Casey and Meygan Caston are the founders of Marriage365, an online platform for couples looking to overcome the obstacles keeping them from a connected, thriving marriage. Episode Sponsors | The Minimalist Moms Podcast would not be possible without the support of weekly sponsors. Choosing brands that I believe in is important to me. I only want to recommend brands that I believe may help you in your daily life. As always, never feel pressured into buying anything. Remember: if you don't need it, it's not a good deal! Enjoy the Podcast? Post a review and share it! If you enjoyed tuning into this podcast, then do not hesitate to write a review. You can also share this with your fellow mothers so that they can be inspired to think more and do with less. Order (or review) my book, Minimalist Moms: Living & Parenting With Simplicity. You can contact me through my website, find me on Instagram, Pinterest or like The Minimalist Moms Page on Facebook. Our Sponsors: * Check out BetterHelp and use my code betterhelp.com for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.com * Check out Cure Hydration and use my code MINIMALIST for a great deal: https://www.curehydration.com * Check out DeleteMe and use my code joindeleteme.com/MINIMALIST for a great deal: https://joindeleteme.com * Check out Wayfair: https://www.wayfair.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

## Transcript

[0:00] \[SPEAKER_03\]: But what we recognize as our society is all geared for us to be comfortable and convenient.
[0:08] \[SPEAKER_03\]: And relationships are oftentimes uncomfortable and very inconvenient.
[0:14] \[SPEAKER_03\]: So it's an easier thing
[0:17] \[SPEAKER_03\]: If you just did nothing, if you just kind of let the tide take you, it's easier to lean back, get comfortable, avoid the inconvenient.
[0:28] \[SPEAKER_03\]: And that's what we see a lot of happening with relationships.
[0:30] \[SPEAKER_03\]: It's a reason why a lot of relationships are actually breaking down.
[0:34] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Yeah.
[0:35] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And as a minimalist myself, I would say, I think one of the biggest issues we're facing in marriages and just romantic relationships in general, we have so many options.
[0:44] \[SPEAKER_02\]: We have so much stimulus coming to us every second of every day, right?
[0:50] \[SPEAKER_02\]: This is Diane Bowden and you're listening to the minimalist moms podcast.
[0:54] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Today's guests say that most marriages don't fall apart overnight.
[0:58] \[SPEAKER_01\]: They drift.
[0:59] \[SPEAKER_01\]: And often, it's not because of one major issue, but because of small repeated habits that slowly create distance over time.
[1:06] \[SPEAKER_01\]: In today's conversation, I'm joined by Casey and Megan Caston.
[1:10] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Co-founders of Marriage 365 to talk about why modern life, with all of its convenience, distraction, and digital noise, can make it harder than ever to stay connected in our relationships.
[1:20] \[SPEAKER_01\]: they introduce a concept called the drift.
[1:23] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Using what's known as the 160 rule and explain how even tiny misalignments, if left on address, can lead us further and further apart.
[1:31] \[SPEAKER_01\]: But what I really appreciate about this conversation is how practical it is.
[1:34] \[SPEAKER_01\]: We talk about the habits that quietly erode connection, and more importantly, the small intentional shifts that can bring you back together.
[1:41] \[SPEAKER_01\]: So if you've ever felt like you and your partner are just a little out of sync, this conversation could be really helpful in providing you a place to start.
[1:48] \[SPEAKER_01\]: But quickly before we get there, I want to share a minimalist moment of the week with all of you.
[1:52] \[SPEAKER_01\]: I'm not sure what it is right now, but I am in deep purging mode around my home.
[1:58] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Maybe it's just a spring cleaning, getting off the excess out, but I told my kids that nothing is off limits right now.
[2:04] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Today I tackled the homeschooling and craft cabinet in our dining room and it honestly didn't take too much time.
[2:10] \[SPEAKER_01\]: As with any time you're decluttering you want to take everything out of the space wiped down the shelves and then slowly put back what you know you're going to need, toss the trash and then if needed having a space for the things that you're not quite sure what to do with yet, they might be saying they might be going and maybe you need some further assessment from your spouse or your children.
[2:29] \[SPEAKER_01\]: I don't have much more to say other than encouragement to you that if you are starting to feel overwhelmed with the end of the school year approaching, now is a time to jump start on decluttering, getting your home in order for the summer months.
[2:41] \[SPEAKER_01\]: And then lastly, if you have yet to leave a rating and review for the minimalist mom's podcast, hit five stars, tell me your favorite guest, your favorite episode, how the podcast has been beneficial to you.
[2:50] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Another great way to support the show would be to share it with a friend.
[2:53] \[SPEAKER_01\]: It doesn't go on notice that you continue to listen to them in a most mom's podcast when there is so much content to be consuming these days.
[2:59] \[SPEAKER_01\]: So I really appreciate you being here.
[3:01] \[SPEAKER_01\]: And with that, let's get into this conversation with Megan and Casey.
[3:12] \[SPEAKER_01\]: You both were on the podcast before, but for listeners that had not heard that episode, which I'll be sure to link in the show notes.
[3:17] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Why don't you just go back and reintroduce yourself for those listeners and then we'll get into our topic.
[3:22] \[SPEAKER_03\]: All right.
[3:22] \[SPEAKER_03\]: Well, we are Casey and Megan Caston, co-founders of Marriage 365.
[3:27] \[SPEAKER_03\]: We're not only coaches, authors, speakers, but we are so passionate about creating success for couples by offering them some intentional structures
[3:40] \[SPEAKER_03\]: tools, habits that they can put in their marriage.
[3:43] \[SPEAKER_03\]: These are habits that actually brought us back from the brink of divorce.
[3:48] \[SPEAKER_03\]: They're also the habits we've coached couples for the past 15 years.
[3:51] \[SPEAKER_03\]: And honestly, our mentors or even successful couples have some version of these habits inside of their relationship.
[3:58] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Absolutely.
[3:59] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Here from the start, I know that people are always wondering, well, why choose the topics that I do.
[4:05] \[SPEAKER_01\]: And I will say every conversation I have leads back to intentionality, the habits that we have, the things that we're adding to our schedule, our commitments, all of those things, all of the above.
[4:16] \[SPEAKER_01\]: So I am curious to know, especially in this day and age, why do we have to be even more intentional about our marriages with everything else that's going on?
[4:27] \[SPEAKER_03\]: Well, so it's interesting word dang, intentional.
[4:30] \[SPEAKER_03\]: I know it's a word we throw around often.
[4:33] \[SPEAKER_03\]: So I looked it up, I was like, where did this word come from?
[4:36] \[SPEAKER_03\]: So it's Latin for Intendiri, which is two words put together, which is stretch and forward.
[4:44] \[SPEAKER_03\]: So the idea of intention is this stretching,
[4:48] \[SPEAKER_03\]: Forward towards a vision that you have for your life, for a version of your life that you would want.
[4:55] \[SPEAKER_03\]: But there's this idea of stretching, like if you're like leaning forward and stretching forward to something, you're straining for something, right?
[5:03] \[SPEAKER_03\]: That's that's intention.
[5:06] \[SPEAKER_03\]: But what we recognize as our society is all geared for us to be comfortable and convenient.
[5:15] \[SPEAKER_03\]: And relationships are oftentimes uncomfortable and very inconvenient.
[5:21] \[SPEAKER_03\]: So it's an easier thing
[5:24] \[SPEAKER_03\]: If you just did nothing, if you just kind of let the tide take you, it's easier to lean back, get comfortable, avoid the inconvenient.
[5:36] \[SPEAKER_03\]: And that's what we see a lot of happening with relationships.
[5:39] \[SPEAKER_03\]: It's a reason why a lot of relationships are actually breaking down.
[5:42] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Yeah.
[5:43] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And as a minimalist myself, I would say I think one of the biggest issues we're facing in marriages and just romantic relationships in general.
[5:50] \[SPEAKER_02\]: We have so many options.
[5:52] \[SPEAKER_02\]: We have so much stimulus coming to us every second of every day, right?
[5:57] \[SPEAKER_02\]: It's really when the iPhone came out.
[5:59] \[SPEAKER_02\]: I mean, we're seeing the numbers.
[6:01] \[SPEAKER_02\]: We're seeing
[6:02] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Unfortunately, the negative impact it's having on people and so couples are more distracted than ever before.
[6:10] \[SPEAKER_02\]: They're more stressed out than ever before, which is why we have to be aware of this and be intentional.
[6:17] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Yeah, sure, sure.
[6:19] \[SPEAKER_01\]: So maybe here from the beginning, we'll start with unhealthy habits that are road connection and we'll shift into ones that we can implement to better strength and our relationships.
[6:28] \[SPEAKER_01\]: So yeah, after talking to couples for several years at this point, how many mayors have been you've been doing this?
[6:34] \[SPEAKER_02\]: We've been married for 23 years together for 25 years have been working with couples for almost 15 years.
[6:39] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Okay, I thought so.
[6:40] \[SPEAKER_01\]: 15 years.
[6:41] \[SPEAKER_01\]: So you have a lot of experience in talking to a wide variety of couples.
[6:44] \[SPEAKER_01\]: What are the habits that you're hearing about seeing that again, maybe even just quietly a road or connection to one another?
[6:52] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Oh my gosh, we were just talking about this day.
[6:53] \[SPEAKER_02\]: So the number one unhealthy habit that we see couples doing and I'll just tell you, Diana, I don't think people even know they're doing it, right?
[7:02] \[SPEAKER_02\]: is they don't know how to repair the relationship.
[7:05] \[SPEAKER_02\]: So they fight, they argue, someone has a bad day, you know, haven't had our coffee yet.
[7:09] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Whatever the reason is, we say a snarky comment and couples don't know how to repair the rupture.
[7:15] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And if that happens over and over again, imagine your relationship is just getting ruptured, ruptured, ruptured, ruptured, ruptured.
[7:22] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And people put fan dates on the relationship, like, you'll hear men say, oh, I'm in the dog house, I got to buy my wife flowers.
[7:28] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Or, yeah, we should probably do a date night,
[7:33] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Well, make up sex, flowers, date night, all those things are wonderful, but they don't actually repair the relationship.
[7:39] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And so they have all of these broken parts and hurt feelings and past stories of arguments that have never been fully repaired.
[7:47] \[SPEAKER_03\]: And you often see this happen with couples where
[7:50] \[SPEAKER_03\]: If the husband didn't take out the trash, it's not only that you didn't take out the trash, but that you don't set up boundaries with your mom and that you're not parenting the kids right.
[7:58] \[SPEAKER_03\]: And so you kind of get this like stacking of the deck, which is a often, a very common unhealthy habit.
[8:06] \[SPEAKER_03\]: Unhealthy habit.
[8:08] \[SPEAKER_03\]: I also probably say that this is the number one excuse I constantly hear in coaching is, you know, Casey, we're struggling to make time for a relationship.
[8:18] \[SPEAKER_03\]: we just don't have time.
[8:19] \[SPEAKER_03\]: We can't find time.
[8:22] \[SPEAKER_02\]: So here's what we say.
[8:23] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Well, do you watch TV?
[8:24] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Yeah.
[8:25] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Do you ever do a scroll?
[8:27] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Mm-hmm.
[8:28] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Okay.
[8:28] \[SPEAKER_02\]: So you have time for your marriage because you don't have to do a scroll, right?
[8:32] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Oh, yeah.
[8:32] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Yes.
[8:33] \[SPEAKER_02\]: You don't have to watch TV all every night, right?
[8:36] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Yeah.
[8:36] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Okay.
[8:36] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Well, then you have time for your marriage.
[8:38] \[SPEAKER_02\]: It's about making time and prioritizing your marriage.
[8:41] \[SPEAKER_03\]: And so I think what happens is when we date each other, you know, we're so excited that we're intentional with our time.
[8:48] \[SPEAKER_03\]: We have these great date nights.
[8:51] \[SPEAKER_03\]: We make time because this is a priority for us.
[8:54] \[SPEAKER_02\]: We sacrifice other things.
[8:56] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Yeah.
[8:57] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Because if you didn't do that when you were dating, you wouldn't date the guy or date the gal again.
[9:01] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Like if they didn't prioritize you.
[9:03] \[SPEAKER_03\]: You'd be like, yeah, but then what happens is we kind of get married and then the routine of life puts us into this slump right now let's get comfortable and convenient and you know what's comfortable and convenient is not dealing with our issues what's what's comfortable and convenient is you know we're just going to kind of do life and if there's issues will maybe we hope we can bring it up.
[9:29] \[SPEAKER_03\]: And so we honestly de-prioritize our spouse unintentionally.
[9:36] \[SPEAKER_03\]: And so it's kind of like, if we're not stretching forward, we unintentionally install bad habits into the relationship and that's what our books all about is like, these are what are the healthy habits to install.
[9:50] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Okay, I have one more unhealthy habit to sneak in here, okay?
[9:53] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Cause we can spend hours talking about unhealthy habits, but I think a lot of people and mainly women.
[9:59] \[SPEAKER_02\]: I mean, I'm gonna throw a woman under the bus for a second, but I am one so I can do that.
[10:03] \[SPEAKER_02\]: We tend to complain versus request for change.
[10:10] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And I think that we can become very critical, rather than get curious.
[10:14] \[SPEAKER_02\]: So our husband does something we don't like or don't appreciate.
[10:17] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And we're like, oh, you're always on your phone.
[10:20] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Okay, well, behind that is a desire, hey, I want to spend time with you.
[10:25] \[SPEAKER_02\]: So I think that couples don't even recognize that how they're, quote-unquote, asking for change isn't actually asking.
[10:32] \[SPEAKER_02\]: it sounds like a nag, a complaint, a criticism, and that's not going to produce change, and it becomes this habit that we get into a case you know, included, by the way, where really under that, I really just want to have dinner with you.
[10:47] \[SPEAKER_02\]: I really want us to have family dinners.
[10:48] \[SPEAKER_02\]: I don't want us to be on screens or I want to turn off the TV.
[10:52] \[SPEAKER_02\]: We need to learn how to ask it in a healthy way.
[11:02] \[SPEAKER_01\]: I find myself, I'm saying this for myself, but I think that we find ourselves thinking, that person will always be there.
[11:09] \[SPEAKER_01\]: That's secure, and so I need to put my focus on the other things that seem uncertain and or children that need attention, they're growing, I'm creating these foundations.
[11:19] \[SPEAKER_01\]: And so I think that's where a big part of neglect can come in because we got this until you don't.
[11:25] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Until you realize, like, I don't even know you anymore.
[11:27] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Exactly.
[11:28] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Yeah, we get very, yeah, there's like, it's good to feel secure in your relationship.
[11:32] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Like, I've got you.
[11:33] \[SPEAKER_02\]: We've got each other.
[11:34] \[SPEAKER_02\]: But yeah, it's almost like you take it for granted.
[11:36] \[SPEAKER_03\]: There's a, there's a thing called the drift that I think happens.
[11:41] \[SPEAKER_03\]: And no one really, like, we're not really paying attention to that.
[11:46] \[SPEAKER_03\]: So often times when I talk about this law of the 160, it's an aviation or a nautical law, which states that for every one degree off you are on your heading when you travel 60 miles, you'll be one mile off your target.
[12:03] \[SPEAKER_03\]: So, so what happens is, you know, you think about setting sail from Los Angeles to Hawaii, you know, as first couple miles, it's not like you're going to feel like you're drifting off, you know, you're going at the total different direction.
[12:17] \[SPEAKER_03\]: You're just one degree off, but if you continue that same direction by the time you hit the islands, you wouldn't even see them.
[12:24] \[SPEAKER_03\]: you're going to be so far away.
[12:26] \[SPEAKER_02\]: So, and that just depends.
[12:28] \[SPEAKER_02\]: That's how many couples.
[12:29] \[SPEAKER_03\]: Yeah, and so I just, as a, as a cup of grace, 10, but it's listening.
[12:32] \[SPEAKER_03\]: No one intends to say, you know, I can't wait to get married and then we just slowly drift apart.
[12:38] \[SPEAKER_03\]: And, and we end our 20-year relationship.
[12:42] \[SPEAKER_03\]: uh, not by fire, but by ice because we're just, you know, not in love with each other.
[12:46] \[SPEAKER_03\]: No one intends to do that.
[12:49] \[SPEAKER_03\]: No one's stretching forward to that kind of goal, but if we're not intentional, it's gonna happen.
[12:55] \[SPEAKER_03\]: That is exactly what happens.
[13:00] \[SPEAKER_01\]: I was going to say, can we come back from that?
[13:02] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Obviously, you have experience of personal and of coaching people, but I do think, again, we're just so exhausted that I think, or yeah, I don't love this society.
[13:12] \[SPEAKER_01\]: We've created when it comes to options that we can see or just like people painting their relationships.
[13:18] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Sorry, I'm like going on a tangent now.
[13:19] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Just like we see people painting their relationships in such a way and we're like, well, that's not like that here.
[13:23] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Maybe I could get that and or like you become complacent and that's when you start to critique and set up a question.
[13:29] \[SPEAKER_02\]: I don't know, like, or even compare your relationship that you see online or on a tick-tock video.
[13:33] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Like, well, we don't do that.
[13:35] \[SPEAKER_02\]: I want that.
[13:35] \[SPEAKER_02\]: It's like, well, you got to go, well, what's, of course, the common phrases, you know, the grass is greener on the other side.
[13:42] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Well, no, the grass is green where you water it.
[13:44] \[SPEAKER_03\]: Well, and let's just, this is not avoid the issue that there's couples that post shiny happy pictures of them and as soon as the camera turns off, those grins turn to frowns or just a cold shoulders, right?
[13:58] \[SPEAKER_03\]: I mean, there's several stories of influencers that hey, we're, we're together.
[14:03] \[SPEAKER_03\]: Our relationship coaches.
[14:04] \[SPEAKER_03\]: And then next next month, it's like, oh, we're, you know, we've decided to amicably split.
[14:11] \[SPEAKER_03\]: We still love each other.
[14:13] \[SPEAKER_02\]: It's very confusing for other people who are married, it's, yeah, and we would agree with you completely.
[14:19] \[SPEAKER_02\]: We are not happy with where society is.
[14:21] \[SPEAKER_02\]: In fact, it should be alarming to anyone listening, because all of the studies from Harvard, I mean any study or research that's been done on relationships and connection and happiness in the last 10 years.
[14:33] \[SPEAKER_02\]: have all said we have to make changes.
[14:36] \[SPEAKER_02\]: We have to be listening to podcasts like this.
[14:39] \[SPEAKER_02\]: We have to start looking at not just being an autopilot as a society.
[14:43] \[SPEAKER_02\]: It's not working for us.
[14:46] \[SPEAKER_03\]: Yeah.
[14:47] \[SPEAKER_03\]: Yeah.
[14:48] \[SPEAKER_03\]: I mean, there's some existential threats to our society from population to decline to this digital native that's growing up that do not know how to connect with other people on a face-to-face experience.
[15:02] \[SPEAKER_03\]: They're so used to the screens.
[15:04] \[SPEAKER_03\]: We are in a place of relationship skills
[15:12] \[SPEAKER_03\]: And that's summing everything from what rom coms and hollywood and you know what love island is portraying as romantic relationships to
[15:22] \[SPEAKER_03\]: the idea that we are divorces becomes such a norm, that like hoping in the institution of marriage has been called into question.
[15:34] \[SPEAKER_03\]: And I think we're trying to present a message to say, no, no, no, the institution works, okay?
[15:41] \[SPEAKER_03\]: It, it works, it builds like human thriving family life, it works.
[15:49] \[SPEAKER_03\]: Just when people say marriage is hard, I'd want to step in and say, maybe you're doing it wrong.
[15:56] \[SPEAKER_03\]: Mm-hmm.
[15:56] \[SPEAKER_03\]: Right?
[15:56] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Yeah.
[15:57] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Yeah.
[15:58] \[SPEAKER_01\]: I have two thoughts.
[16:00] \[SPEAKER_01\]: I'm going to go with my original question that I had planned for you guys.
[16:02] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Because I do have a personal question at the very, well, maybe save that for the end.
[16:06] \[SPEAKER_01\]: But my question I wanted to go into next still has to do with habits.
[16:09] \[SPEAKER_01\]: and that we may be loving our partner, the way that we think they want to be loved, maybe the love language is like acts of service and their love language is really gifts.
[16:19] \[SPEAKER_01\]: And so when we aren't, when we don't receive the affirmation that we've loved them well, then we get apathetic or we're like, well, this is too hard anyway.
[16:26] \[SPEAKER_01\]: So I think that we can create that at a habits there.
[16:28] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Again, maybe just not even communicating.
[16:30] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Like this is actually what I want, like you said, Megan, requesting.
[16:33] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Why aren't we having those conversations?
[16:35] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Correct.
[16:36] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Yeah, that's actually one of the habits in our new book, the marriage habit.
[16:40] \[SPEAKER_02\]: It's called love lists.
[16:42] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And it's exactly.
[16:43] \[SPEAKER_02\]: It solves this issue that so many couples are selves included space where we are loving one another.
[16:52] \[SPEAKER_02\]: We're just not speaking the same language or we're not doing it the way that our spouse expected.
[16:56] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And then there's all this disappointment.
[16:58] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And that stems from the fact that we feel like you should just know how to love me.
[17:03] \[SPEAKER_02\]: I told you one, I told you twice, you should just know, we've been together for 25 years.
[17:08] \[SPEAKER_02\]: How do you not know what I like and don't like?
[17:10] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Okay, well,
[17:11] \[SPEAKER_02\]: I'm here to tell anyone that's listening this, that our spouse is not a mind reader.
[17:15] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Nor should you expect them to.
[17:17] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Yeah, are some things maybe more obvious than others to some, but to many, again, they're just doing the best they can with the information that they have.
[17:25] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And so we have this incredible habit called LoveLists in our new book.
[17:30] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And it removes any of the assumptions, the guessing, you actually create a list of things that your spouse can do for you, that you love.
[17:38] \[SPEAKER_02\]: can be based off of your love language.
[17:40] \[SPEAKER_02\]: You don't even have to take the love language as test to know.
[17:43] \[SPEAKER_02\]: But if you're like, I love it when they make me coffee in the morning.
[17:46] \[SPEAKER_02\]: I love it when they give me a hug when I come home.
[17:49] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And we always say with marriage, specific is terrific.
[17:52] \[SPEAKER_02\]: The more specific you can get, the better.
[17:55] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Not
[17:56] \[SPEAKER_02\]: love me more connect with me more now that's vague and it doesn't work and so we have a whole habit and chapter just dedicated to what we call love us so spouse one makes their love list spouse two makes their love list then you actually exchange it and now it's like you have a cheat sheet on how to love your spouse the way that they want to be loved no more guessing no more disappointment no more assumptions
[18:19] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Yeah.
[18:20] \[SPEAKER_01\]: You know, that's so good.
[18:21] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Maybe I'll ask my question here.
[18:23] \[SPEAKER_01\]: And this is a kind of a can of worms.
[18:24] \[SPEAKER_01\]: So you both don't have to answer it.
[18:26] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Uh, the book Love and Respects.
[18:29] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Do you familiar?
[18:30] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Okay.
[18:31] \[SPEAKER_01\]: A lot of Christians are probably familiar with that book.
[18:33] \[SPEAKER_01\]: And this whole idea for those of the listeners that aren't aware of it is if you just show him respect, he'll show you love.
[18:39] \[SPEAKER_01\]: And it's this cyclical thing.
[18:41] \[SPEAKER_01\]: So I guess I'm just curious.
[18:42] \[SPEAKER_01\]: I don't want to say like, what are your opinions on that book?
[18:45] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Like, we're not opening that can of worms.
[18:47] \[SPEAKER_01\]: But
[18:48] \[SPEAKER_01\]: I think when it comes down to the habits, we just think that it maybe is on the other person and then I'll do this too.
[18:54] \[SPEAKER_01\]: But yeah, I'm just wondering if that contributes to bad habits, like just being stubborn.
[19:00] \[SPEAKER_01\]: We're just stubborn.
[19:01] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Yeah.
[19:02] \[SPEAKER_01\]: I think that's a great question.
[19:04] \[SPEAKER_03\]: Yeah, I was.
[19:05] \[SPEAKER_03\]: I'm gonna approach it this way.
[19:08] \[SPEAKER_03\]: Okay.
[19:08] \[SPEAKER_03\]: We're taggling that we use in our marriage 365.
[19:12] \[SPEAKER_03\]: very powerful, and I have another word to use just a second, but it is if you want to make a better marriage, it starts by making a better you.
[19:23] \[SPEAKER_03\]: And if anyone out there is sitting there saying, I'm stuck in a one-sided marriage or there's nothing I can do, that's very disempowered talk, self-talk.
[19:35] \[SPEAKER_03\]: So if you want to make a better marriage, it starts by your own self-work of
[19:43] \[SPEAKER_03\]: building awareness, confidence, boundaries, right?
[19:47] \[SPEAKER_03\]: It starts with you.
[19:48] \[SPEAKER_03\]: Now, here's the other word I'm just going to use about it.
[19:51] \[SPEAKER_03\]: It sucks.
[19:52] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Yeah, it's not a sexy message.
[19:54] \[SPEAKER_03\]: Because when we were hurting, I was like, if you want a better marriage, you need to start becoming a better wife.
[20:01] \[SPEAKER_03\]: And so it was kind of like, well, the blame was not, it's not a me, it's actually, you're the reason why.
[20:08] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And I felt the same way.
[20:09] \[SPEAKER_02\]: I was like, well, it's not me.
[20:11] \[SPEAKER_02\]: It's Casey.
[20:11] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And if he just fixed this, this and this, we'd be great.
[20:15] \[SPEAKER_03\]: So I think I think the 11 respect cyclical is ideal.
[20:22] \[SPEAKER_03\]: And it's great when it happens.
[20:23] \[SPEAKER_03\]: But I think there's a lot of marriages that don't have that going.
[20:29] \[SPEAKER_03\]: So someone's got to start the process.
[20:32] \[SPEAKER_03\]: And so whoever's we're coaching, you know,
[20:36] \[SPEAKER_03\]: it starts with you.
[20:38] \[SPEAKER_03\]: You're the only one here on this call, your spouse is not.
[20:40] \[SPEAKER_03\]: Here are 10 different things that you can work on to really build this healthy version of a spouse.
[20:50] \[SPEAKER_03\]: And the way Megan, I explain it is like, I have to find my own happiness, my own sense of contentment, identity,
[21:01] \[SPEAKER_03\]: And then, and then, may it has to find her own sense of identity contentment, and then we share that with each other.
[21:10] \[SPEAKER_03\]: So it's like a gift that like, we're on two sides of the room, and in the middle of the room is our relationship, we're working on ourselves in their corner, and then we come to the middle of this room where there's this unique identity of the two becoming one, but we're
[21:30] \[SPEAKER_03\]: by ourselves.
[21:32] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Yeah, we always say two healthy people make a healthy marriage and then I do have to give my opinion just really quick about love and respect.
[21:40] \[SPEAKER_02\]: So I love the idea of it.
[21:42] \[SPEAKER_02\]: I don't think you need to read the book if for those of you who love it, that's great.
[21:45] \[SPEAKER_02\]: I'm not judging you.
[21:46] \[SPEAKER_02\]: I think you could literally pick it up, read the first chapter and you're kind of know everything or like the cliff notes version, but I actually disagree with it because I myself want respect and love.
[21:57] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And I know that Casey wants respect and love.
[22:00] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And I don't think that it's one more than another actually.
[22:02] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And I think that respect in general is what we're lacking in society.
[22:08] \[SPEAKER_02\]: We are so mean and rude and people, hind behind their computers and innate these critical comments.
[22:14] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And then they're like, oh, but I love my family.
[22:15] \[SPEAKER_02\]: I'm like, you're just not a respectful person, though.
[22:18] \[SPEAKER_02\]: So I think that we should be respectful and we should be loving.
[22:23] \[SPEAKER_02\]: I think they're both equal.
[22:24] \[SPEAKER_02\]: I do not believe one's more important than the other.
[22:26] \[SPEAKER_02\]: No matter the gender, actually, if that's my personal opinion though, it's kind of an interesting thing because you're like, the book is actually setting you up for a little bit of failure because I'm expecting respect.
[22:32] \[SPEAKER_03\]: I'm expecting this.
[22:33] \[SPEAKER_03\]: And so, I could probably argue both sides of the fence like, yeah, well, it's healthy to expect that.
[22:37] \[SPEAKER_03\]: But at the same time, I think, I think, I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I
[22:50] \[SPEAKER_03\]: I want to come to to Megan as in a place to serve her whatever her needs may be and not be like well I want that love back in return.
[23:00] \[SPEAKER_03\]: Yeah, there's kind of this a bit of conditional.
[23:02] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Correct.
[23:03] \[SPEAKER_02\]: So so we would say The framework around that if you like that book or like the concept of it is in my respectful and in my loving.
[23:11] \[SPEAKER_02\]: It's the only thing you have control over.
[23:13] \[SPEAKER_03\]: Yeah.
[23:14] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Right.
[23:14] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And you have to be able to look at yourself at the end of the day and say
[23:21] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Yeah, absolutely.
[23:22] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Sorry, that was just a little side tangent because I agree over it over simplifies that most people want love and respect.
[23:29] \[SPEAKER_01\]: It's not gendered.
[23:31] \[SPEAKER_01\]: And honestly, I think that most of us feel loved through respect, those sides.
[23:35] \[SPEAKER_01\]: So yeah, it's so it's just an interesting thing to say.
[23:38] \[SPEAKER_01\]: But I did want to ask you, so moving into some of those good habits, you talk about the unsolicited apology and that being an incredibly powerful habit template.
[23:46] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Can you talk a little bit more about that?
[23:48] \[SPEAKER_03\]: this is this is becoming one of the favorite habits of people that bought the book yeah yeah and this is my like this is my drum beat that guides my life and brings a lot of energy so if I had a billboard all across the nation it would be habit number eight and it would be all about the apologies you know Megan and I work with a lot of couples they come see us we do like a
[24:12] \[SPEAKER_03\]: and the one of the main goals that we do that whole first day is just to figure out like what do they need to pull the chase about?
[24:19] \[SPEAKER_03\]: Where's the hurt?
[24:20] \[SPEAKER_03\]: Yeah, where's it?
[24:21] \[SPEAKER_03\]: And then let's heal the hurt.
[24:22] \[SPEAKER_03\]: And then we will spend the second day four to five hours.
[24:27] \[SPEAKER_03\]: Referring this couple of apologizing to each other.
[24:30] \[SPEAKER_03\]: And it's like a tennis match.
[24:32] \[SPEAKER_03\]: Like he does one, then she does one, he does one.
[24:35] \[SPEAKER_03\]: And literally we're going four to five hours on working through these apologies.
[24:40] \[SPEAKER_03\]: And I will tell you
[24:42] \[SPEAKER_03\]: the level of magic, the kind of healing that happens, couples that have been married 30 years and have 30 years of stories because they've never repaired their relationship.
[24:57] \[SPEAKER_03\]: All disappear within the matter a couple hours.
[25:01] \[SPEAKER_03\]: And this to me is like,
[25:03] \[SPEAKER_03\]: of mind blowing.
[25:04] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And the idea around an unsolicest apology is we all know we make mistakes and we don't show up our best selves.
[25:11] \[SPEAKER_02\]: So without having to be prompted, you just sculpt your spouse and say, you know what, I was really short with you yesterday.
[25:16] \[SPEAKER_02\]: I'm going to own it.
[25:18] \[SPEAKER_02\]: You know, there's no excuse.
[25:19] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And then we walk a couple through and have it eight, the four steps of an apology because a lot of us say we're sorry.
[25:26] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And that's great, but that's just part of an apology, right?
[25:30] \[SPEAKER_02\]: We want to make sure that we're validating feelings that we're changing behavior, that we're being accountable.
[25:35] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And so we a lot of couples don't even know they're apologizing the wrong way.
[25:38] \[SPEAKER_02\]: So we teach you the right way.
[25:41] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Absolutely.
[25:42] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Like you said at the very beginning, a lot of listeners are in those seasons of survival, whether they're homeschooling or they have young children, they're building a business entrepreneurs and that time and energy feels really limited.
[25:52] \[SPEAKER_01\]: So yeah, again, what are some just easy habits that we can make outside of the answer to a apology that we can implement to build that connection.
[26:02] \[SPEAKER_01\]: in some point.
[26:03] \[SPEAKER_01\]: I'm all about simple practice.
[26:05] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Yes.
[26:06] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And again, a lot of our habits are very simple.
[26:09] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And some of them are a bit more complicated.
[26:11] \[SPEAKER_02\]: I don't want to say complicated, even just a deeper.
[26:13] \[SPEAKER_02\]: I'd say that they require a lot more thought and humility and respect and love.
[26:18] \[SPEAKER_03\]: All right, a very simple, easy two minute habit is called the 60, 60 second blessing.
[26:25] \[SPEAKER_03\]: And it's
[26:28] \[SPEAKER_03\]: It's creating positivity in your relationship and it's being intentional as well and what you do for 60 seconds is you use your words to express your appreciation, your admiration, your affection for your partner and then for 60 seconds they kind of return that back to you and we do these
[26:54] \[SPEAKER_03\]: and it's to me always surprising how many people get emotional about it because they're like I haven't heard these kinds of words from you in such a long time and it is so powerful and it kind of leaves it with you as on ownership to saying you get to choose yeah like you choose your words so
[27:16] \[SPEAKER_02\]: I would say to the best way to do it is to write down five to seven things you love about your spouse.
[27:22] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And then they can make a list too.
[27:24] \[SPEAKER_02\]: They don't have to do the habit with you.
[27:25] \[SPEAKER_02\]: You can just do it yourself.
[27:26] \[SPEAKER_02\]: This is what I love about a lot of the habits.
[27:28] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And you sit down and you read your list.
[27:30] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Again, things that you love appreciate value about them.
[27:34] \[SPEAKER_02\]: What I love about this particular habit is that for any of the parents listening, you should actually do this to your children.
[27:40] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And you should have siblings do the 60 second blessing to siblings.
[27:43] \[SPEAKER_02\]: a lot of people do this on their birthday.
[27:45] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Like, okay, let's sit down, test out and tell all the reasons why we love Tessa.
[27:50] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Why just your birthday?
[27:51] \[SPEAKER_02\]: You should be doing the 60 second blessing often because our society is going to tell our kids.
[27:55] \[SPEAKER_02\]: They're not good enough.
[27:56] \[SPEAKER_02\]: They're not thin enough.
[27:57] \[SPEAKER_02\]: They're not smart enough.
[27:58] \[SPEAKER_02\]: They're not fast enough.
[27:59] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And we have the power as parents to also speak truth and love and admiration to that.
[28:04] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Thanks.
[28:05] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Thanks.
[28:05] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Thanks.
[28:05] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Thanks.
[28:05] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Thanks.
[28:05] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And I will tell you, like, our kids, we have two teenagers.
[28:09] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Our kids don't like to give it to each other, but they love to receive it.
[28:13] \[SPEAKER_02\]: It's pretty funny to watch their body.
[28:14] \[SPEAKER_02\]: They're like, you know, our daughter will be like, our 18 year old will be like, okay, Cordo, I love this this, but man, when it's her turn to receive, she's like, all about it.
[28:22] \[SPEAKER_03\]: So this would, this actually would be a challenge.
[28:25] \[SPEAKER_03\]: I would give to anyone that's listening.
[28:27] \[SPEAKER_03\]: You do not have to do this with your spouse.
[28:30] \[SPEAKER_03\]: Take up Megan's action item is write five things that you love about your partner and then send them a voice text.
[28:38] \[SPEAKER_03\]: Send them an audio voice text.
[28:40] \[SPEAKER_03\]: Hey, I was thinking about you today and I just wanted to share these kinds of words with you.
[28:45] \[SPEAKER_03\]: And just watch, I'm just kind of like a challenge and impact it will bring about because where there once wasn't love you've literally created or we like to say you made love
[29:02] \[SPEAKER_03\]: you made love that there wasn't there before now you've chosen your words intentionally and there's this positivity and affection and the lightness and you just amazing to watch people feel even more connected because of that.
[29:17] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Yeah.
[29:18] \[SPEAKER_01\]: No, that's such a great word.
[29:21] \[SPEAKER_01\]: And again, I love the action items, especially for people like you said, if they're sending a voice note because they can't yet handle doing it in person.
[29:28] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Especially not, no offense casey.
[29:30] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Sometimes men have a hard time doing that face to face.
[29:32] \[SPEAKER_01\]: I think we need to get better, and that'll help us eventually get there for sure.
[29:36] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Yeah, do it over the phone.
[29:37] \[SPEAKER_02\]: You could even type in a text.
[29:39] \[SPEAKER_02\]: I mean, something's better than nothing, right?
[29:41] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Yeah, yeah, for sure.
[29:42] \[SPEAKER_01\]: It is funny.
[29:43] \[SPEAKER_01\]: This is the last thing I'll say kind of as we wrap up.
[29:45] \[SPEAKER_01\]: My husband and I've been talking a lot recently about the time that we actually get with one another and sometimes I'll share something that a girlfriend's going through and he's like, I can't even begin to understand that.
[29:55] \[SPEAKER_01\]: He's like, women are just so different.
[29:57] \[SPEAKER_01\]: And we kind of are at this point where we're like, diminishing women these days just have way too much time together, maybe in a way that they never did in the past.
[30:04] \[SPEAKER_01\]: men would leave in the morning like they'd have an interaction they'd leave they'd be gone and then they come home they'd have a nice little interaction but it's like a lot of times we're working together or we do have all this extended time at the end of the day we're staying up really late because we have lights that we can keep on in these devices that we can watch and I don't know I just wonder if I don't want to say that we're like cross-contempting too much that's not the word I'm looking for but there's something to be said about I don't know is this resonating with either of you this is what this is what it is
[30:32] \[SPEAKER_02\]: the roles have been changed.
[30:35] \[SPEAKER_02\]: There were very clear roles for thousands of years.
[30:38] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Yeah, yes.
[30:40] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Like if there wasn't electricity, you know, you couldn't breast pump.
[30:45] \[SPEAKER_02\]: You couldn't use breast pump.
[30:46] \[SPEAKER_02\]: You had to feed the baby, right?
[30:48] \[SPEAKER_02\]: There wasn't formula.
[30:49] \[SPEAKER_02\]: So if you're having snacks, there was no condoms.
[30:51] \[SPEAKER_02\]: There was no birth control.
[30:52] \[SPEAKER_02\]: You were getting pregnant.
[30:53] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Like,
[30:54] \[SPEAKER_02\]: For thousands of years, there was really clearly defined roles.
[30:58] \[SPEAKER_02\]: The man went out, he worked, he hunted, right?
[31:01] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And the woman's a care of the kids.
[31:03] \[SPEAKER_02\]: It's changed in the last 150 years.
[31:05] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And this is very, if you think about, it's very new still.
[31:08] \[SPEAKER_02\]: We're trying to figure it out.
[31:10] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And then you're right with electronics, and how much information is coming at us, the expectations of what a husband's role is, and what a wife's role is.
[31:20] \[SPEAKER_03\]: It's really shifting, we used to do.
[31:25] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Well, we have these opinions, we just are sharing all of these opinions and all these things that maybe we never should have had opinions on and then you're like, oh, I don't really like your opinion.
[31:33] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Or I don't like your opinion or that's weird and it's like maybe they didn't have as many opinions because they didn't have as much.
[31:38] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Well, we just have as much info.
[31:39] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Yeah.
[31:40] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Yeah.
[31:40] \[SPEAKER_02\]: We never had this much information for me.
[31:42] \[SPEAKER_03\]: You're going to town to figure out what the news was and you probably just get your three headlines.
[31:47] \[SPEAKER_03\]: You don't hear about.
[31:49] \[SPEAKER_03\]: mom, pa, kettle on the ranch, you know, 2200 miles away and what they did.
[31:55] \[SPEAKER_03\]: But now it's splashed all over Twitter, you know, five minutes after it happens.
[31:59] \[SPEAKER_02\]: It's like, I mean, think about even like the world news.
[32:01] \[SPEAKER_02\]: It used to be once there was a world news report, you know, and it was a little delayed.
[32:05] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Now it's like instantly know all this bad things and there's a lot of fear.
[32:10] \[SPEAKER_02\]: right.
[32:10] \[SPEAKER_02\]: There's a lot of fear with social, a lot of fear with the news and TV.
[32:14] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And that's not good either.
[32:15] \[SPEAKER_02\]: So then, then, you know, you're having different kinds of conversations.
[32:18] \[SPEAKER_02\]: So yeah, I agree.
[32:19] \[SPEAKER_02\]: I think you're on to something there.
[32:21] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And we're pretty passionate to say, I think the biggest thing that we would encourage anyone is we've moved away from doing life in community to very siloed.
[32:30] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And that's not good.
[32:31] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And you are anybody.
[32:32] \[SPEAKER_03\]: You're an interesting statistic.
[32:34] \[SPEAKER_03\]: I just heard about this in the Metro DC area.
[32:39] \[SPEAKER_03\]: Do you know that 49% of the homes are occupied by one single resident?
[32:45] \[SPEAKER_03\]: Wow, 49% have the homes in the DC metro area.
[32:51] \[SPEAKER_03\]: One person's living there.
[32:52] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Wow, that's crazy.
[32:53] \[SPEAKER_01\]: That's really interesting.
[32:55] \[SPEAKER_03\]: Yeah.
[32:55] \[SPEAKER_03\]: So we're, we're ice-cream.
[32:57] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Yeah, we are very isolated.
[32:58] \[SPEAKER_01\]: And again, I don't mean to be a doomsdayer.
[32:59] \[SPEAKER_01\]: I think marriage is such a gift.
[33:01] \[SPEAKER_01\]: I think it is a gift from God that we have one another.
[33:05] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Like, I always tell my husband, I'm like, that you're a gift to me.
[33:08] \[SPEAKER_01\]: I'm not a big believer and soulmates are like, you complete me.
[33:11] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Like, I'm a complete person, you're a complete person.
[33:12] \[SPEAKER_01\]: We, we are a gift to one another.
[33:14] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Like, how can we do this?
[33:15] \[SPEAKER_01\]: I'm pretty like realistic about it.
[33:17] \[SPEAKER_01\]: However, yeah, I just do wonder, I'm like going back kind of full circle to what you were talking about the connectivity to info.
[33:24] \[SPEAKER_01\]: I think that that is a larger conversation that I'm having with people.
[33:27] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Just are we two connected even in our own homes?
[33:29] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Like maybe I don't need to know my husband's every thought and politics and vice versa.
[33:33] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Yes, yeah, we have very strong opinions about tracking your spouse.
[33:39] \[SPEAKER_02\]: We're not actually for that.
[33:40] \[SPEAKER_03\]: Now, if you're in it, yeah, live 360.
[33:43] \[SPEAKER_02\]: That's like again, how much information do you have?
[33:47] \[SPEAKER_02\]: You can pretty much monitor each other.
[33:49] \[SPEAKER_02\]: People have cameras in their homes.
[33:51] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Again, it's not a judgment to say, listen, if it works for you and you're thriving and you're married, then do it, then track each other.
[33:57] \[SPEAKER_02\]: but at what point people get really obsessed about it and then there's arguments because again, there's too much doing life together and knowing so much information about one another.
[34:07] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And I just, I, we caution people that this is why trust and respect
[34:13] \[SPEAKER_02\]: are so foundational to a marriage and to a romantic relationship that in a high-trust marriage you don't have to monitor each other.
[34:19] \[SPEAKER_02\]: You're communicating, you're talking, you're sharing.
[34:22] \[SPEAKER_03\]: Okay, let's let's set the record straight because I think what you just said was really important.
[34:27] \[SPEAKER_03\]: So because we talked about love and respect, but those are not the core of every relationship.
[34:34] \[SPEAKER_03\]: What is the core?
[34:35] \[SPEAKER_03\]: It's not love, okay?
[34:37] \[SPEAKER_03\]: I know that we all think about love and Valentine's Day.
[34:39] \[SPEAKER_03\]: We just cross over that one.
[34:42] \[SPEAKER_03\]: But it's trust.
[34:43] \[SPEAKER_03\]: The foundation of every relationship is trust.
[34:47] \[SPEAKER_03\]: and how trust shows up is we take ownership for actions.
[34:51] \[SPEAKER_03\]: Hello, apologies.
[34:53] \[SPEAKER_02\]: We're reliable.
[34:54] \[SPEAKER_03\]: We're accountable, right?
[34:56] \[SPEAKER_02\]: So we're respectful.
[34:57] \[SPEAKER_02\]: We're loving.
[34:58] \[SPEAKER_02\]: We're making effort.
[34:59] \[SPEAKER_02\]: We're being intentional.
[35:00] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Those are all of this.
[35:02] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Yes.
[35:03] \[SPEAKER_03\]: Trust.
[35:03] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Trust.
[35:04] \[SPEAKER_02\]: And so trust tells us who we can love and who we can't love.
[35:07] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Yeah.
[35:07] \[SPEAKER_02\]: That's why when couples say, I don't feel safe.
[35:09] \[SPEAKER_02\]: I'm like, then that means you're in a low trust marriage.
[35:11] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Yeah.
[35:12] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Well, thanks for going on this journey with me.
[35:14] \[SPEAKER_01\]: I know we did touch on the marriage, have we touched on your book, but I did have a few other questions.
[35:19] \[SPEAKER_01\]: And again, I feel like we could continue to talk about so many fasts of marriage.
[35:22] \[SPEAKER_01\]: I would love to have you both back.
[35:24] \[SPEAKER_01\]: I know I said that to you last time.
[35:25] \[SPEAKER_01\]: I'm so glad that we finally made it happen.
[35:27] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Start it took so long.
[35:28] \[SPEAKER_01\]: But for until the next time, where can listeners find you, connect with you online and grab a copy of your book?
[35:33] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Absolutely.
[35:33] \[SPEAKER_02\]: You can just go to marriage 365.com.
[35:36] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Obviously our book is on any bookstore.
[35:38] \[SPEAKER_02\]: Target Walmart, Amazon, Barnes & Noble.
[35:41] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Perfect.
[35:41] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Well, thank you guys so much for joining me.
[35:43] \[SPEAKER_01\]: And I know that this will be really helpful to someone.
[35:45] \[SPEAKER_01\]: At least someone.
[35:46] \[SPEAKER_01\]: It was helpful to me.
[35:47] \[SPEAKER_01\]: So thanks for joining me.
[35:48] \[SPEAKER_01\]: For having us.
[35:49] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Thank you.
[35:50] \[SPEAKER_01\]: What did you think of the episode?
[35:52] \[SPEAKER_01\]: I hope you enjoyed the conversation.
[35:53] \[SPEAKER_01\]: To learn more about today's guest, including links, resources related to everything discussed today, visit the episode page at minimalismomspodcast.com, where you can find the entire podcast archive, as well as my book, minimalismoms, living and parenting with simplicity, or other ways to connect or work with me online.
[36:12] \[SPEAKER_01\]: If you'd like to support the podcast, the easiest and most impactful thing you can do is subscribe to the show on iTunes, Spotify, or YouTube, or wherever you listen to podcasts.
[36:21] \[SPEAKER_01\]: And leave a rating or review of your favorite episode.
[36:24] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Lastly, sharing the show or your favorite episode with friends and social media is very helpful and will encourage others on their journey to think more and do with us.

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