# Ep. 449 "What If My Forever Love Missed the Exit?"

An episode of [Cocktales with Kiki](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1149484402), 12 Jun 2025, 1 h 25 min.

Audio: https://op3.dev/e/dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/pdst.fm/e/claritaspod.com/measure/pscrb.fm/rss/p/mgln.ai/e/p5972/api.spreaker.com/download/episode/66535033/episode_449.mp3

This week’s episode of CockTales: Dirty Discussions is an emotional rollercoaster with equal parts healing and hilarious. Kiki opens up about her new project xoMan Podcast, launching June 17th, and how she landed not just the hosting gig—but a producer credit too. Medinah shares her recent deep dive into celibacy, her new purpose-driven journey, and what it’s like to feel truly lonely again. There’s real talk on forever love, how our grandparents' marriages shaped our ideals, and why modern dating has us asking, “Where did the real men go?” Oh—and of course, there’s a surprise golden shower story. Yes, you read that right. Whether you’re in your healed girl era or still making mistakes for the plot, this one’s for you. Topics Covered: • Medinah’s celibacy update & unexpected loneliness • Volunteering with Meals on Wheels & giving back • Kiki’s XO Man Podcast announcement + favorite upcoming guests • Reflections on forever love and generational relationships • Modern dating frustrations and “princess treatment” for men?! • When your dress rips during an interview with David Banner • Tips for summer reading, affordable audiobook apps & library perks • Weird Sex Story: A thunderclap headache and an unintentional golden shower Cocktail of the Week: 🍸 Thirst Trappin’ • 2 oz lime juice • 1 oz grapefruit juice • 0.5 oz elderflower liqueur or triple sec • Dash of agave • Tajín rim + lime wheel garnish Shake with ice, strain over fresh ice in a rocks glass. Links Mentioned: • 💻 Join the Drinks & Reads Book Club on Patreon • 📺 XO Man Podcast launches Tuesday on audio platforms and Wednesdays on the @xoneoletv YouTube • 🌵 Sedona Retreat Day Passes via Paradise & Vibe • 💉 LifeRx.md - Use code COCKTALES for $50 off 🛒 Support the Show and Check Out Offers From Our Sponsors: LifeRX.MD - Start your health journey today with LifeRX and use code COCKTALES at checkout for $50 off. LIFERX Use code COCKTALES- CLICK HERE 🎥 Watch the full episode on YouTube – trust, the facial expressions alone are worth it. CockTales Channel on YouTube 📲 Follow Us: Instagram: @cocktalespodcast Instagram: @kikisaidso Instagram: @coffeebeandean 🛒 Support the Show For all promo codes and links for promotions in the episode as well as other current offers, follow this link: https://linktr.ee/cocktalesads Contact Us! Advice: advice@cocktalespod.com Cocktales: cocktales@cocktalespod.com Weird Sex: weirdsex@cocktalespod.com Sponsorship: sales@cocktalespod.com Guest Request/ General Inquiries info@cocktalespod.com Get your Vesper2 https://www.lovecrave.com/products/vesper2/?aop=cocktales Get Your Merch & Order Your Card Game at www.imcurioustoknow.com Get Klassy Baste! Learn to Cook with Kiki www.klassybaste.com Join Kiki's Book Club: June Book of the Month "The Nothing Man" by Catherine Ryan Howard www.patreon.com/kikisaidso Travel With Medinah! www.paradiseandvibe.com Interested in sponsoring? Contact sales@cocktalespod.com today Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/cocktales-with-kiki--2818687/support. CONNECT WITH US Follow the host and join the conversation after the episode: Kiki Said So (Kiara Walker) Instagram: @kikisaidso TikTok: @kikisaidso Cocktales With Kiki Instagram:@cocktalespodcast TikTok: @cocktalespodcast Want to be a guest on Cocktales? We are always looking for interesting guests, experts, and storytellers to join the show. If you would like to be considered, please fill out our guest submission form here: Guest Interest Form

## Transcript

[0:02] Speaker 1: Yeah, you check one two, check one two. Is this
[0:04] Speaker 1: Mike On? Is this Mike On? Hey listen man, it's
[0:07] Speaker 1: the one and only Trunks that the DJ sis and
[0:09] Speaker 1: you're listening to cocktails Dirty Discussions with Kikia Medina Monroe.
[0:14] Speaker 2: Here.
[0:19] Speaker 1: Today's cocktail is called thirst trapping, trapping, trapping, trapping, trapping
[0:24] Speaker 1: all day night. So that was a song. I think
[0:27] Speaker 1: it was like yeah and.
[0:30] Speaker 3: Then yeah, had Okay.
[0:35] Speaker 1: The ingredients to make a thirst trapping two ounces of
[0:38] Speaker 1: tequila episodo points, seventy five ounces of some fresh lime juice,
[0:42] Speaker 1: a half ounce of elderflower liqueur or triple sec whichever
[0:45] Speaker 1: you prefer, one ounce of grapefruit juice, a dash of
[0:48] Speaker 1: a gave and I always get it wrong ta Jean
[0:51] Speaker 1: or tahen t a tahen rim and a lime wheel
[0:56] Speaker 1: for garning. So you're gonna rim your glass with the
[0:58] Speaker 1: lime and the tahen. You're gonna shake all of the
[1:00] Speaker 1: ingredients with ice strain over some fresh ice in a
[1:03] Speaker 1: rocks glass and garnish and serve and that is a
[1:06] Speaker 1: thirst trapp in. And it's the summertime, so I know
[1:08] Speaker 1: a lot of thirst traps are gonna being posted, especially.
[1:13] Speaker 3: If you got your life are X and you been
[1:16] Speaker 3: in the gym, or even if you haven't, because life
[1:18] Speaker 3: our X got your back, you could just you know,
[1:20] Speaker 3: get back. Don't be eating whole pizzas and shit and
[1:23] Speaker 3: candy and ice cream at night. That's how it started
[1:25] Speaker 3: to regress. But I'm back on trap.
[1:27] Speaker 1: You know, you know I will say, don't be doing that,
[1:30] Speaker 1: don't do it. This is the first time I feel
[1:32] Speaker 1: like I have. It wasn't an intent, It wasn't intentionally
[1:35] Speaker 1: for summertime. The timing just happened to be for summertime.
[1:38] Speaker 1: But when this is the first time, I'm like, oh
[1:39] Speaker 1: my gosh, I'm actually like prepared for summer. Like they say.
[1:42] Speaker 3: Summer bodies are built in the winter, and you've been
[1:45] Speaker 3: on it.
[1:45] Speaker 1: Yeah I should have, But well, yeah, dude, you're right.
[1:49] Speaker 1: But it's funny because I was just like I when
[1:51] Speaker 1: I'm sitting on that stage with Easter Ray interviewing her,
[1:53] Speaker 1: I just want her to be able to picture me
[1:55] Speaker 1: as a character in her next whatever film she's working on.
[1:59] Speaker 1: Are you gonna right? The whole theme is the power
[2:04] Speaker 1: of big thinking and how sometimes you just got to
[2:05] Speaker 1: step out there and ask people stuff you gotta do.
[2:07] Speaker 1: It you do.
[2:09] Speaker 3: I was reading Will Packer's book and I forget the
[2:15] Speaker 3: teachings now because this is back in February. I need
[2:17] Speaker 3: to reread it. But it was something about like go
[2:19] Speaker 3: ahead and have the audacity and step into the room,
[2:24] Speaker 3: and like stop thinking about what if it doesn't work,
[2:26] Speaker 3: just do it.
[2:27] Speaker 1: Just do it, and just because what's the worst that
[2:29] Speaker 1: can happen?
[2:30] Speaker 3: No, And you already at no, So it's only up
[2:32] Speaker 3: from here or you stay in the same place.
[2:35] Speaker 1: That's it. I mean, we're just gonna see what happens. Well, okay,
[2:40] Speaker 1: I want to remind you guys to sign up for
[2:42] Speaker 1: the book club we just so you will hear this. Surcia.
[2:46] Speaker 3: So last night we had our happy hour, and it's
[2:49] Speaker 3: always a good time because we just get on there
[2:51] Speaker 3: and we play games. I've been playing games and making
[2:53] Speaker 3: up drink recipes and coming up with different stuff and
[2:56] Speaker 3: it's really just girl chat. It's fun.
[2:58] Speaker 1: It's nice meeting different people.
[3:00] Speaker 3: There's ladies all over the place, and it's just.
[3:03] Speaker 1: Cool to get to know new women.
[3:04] Speaker 3: I know people are always talking about having a hard
[3:07] Speaker 3: time meeting new friends, and I get it.
[3:10] Speaker 1: The older you get.
[3:12] Speaker 3: Especially depending on what you might do for work or
[3:14] Speaker 3: what your hobbies are, interest are if you had to
[3:17] Speaker 3: move and you don't you don't know anybody, like I
[3:20] Speaker 3: don't know.
[3:21] Speaker 1: It's hard. Like imagine if you.
[3:23] Speaker 3: Had a career where you're not around people for real,
[3:27] Speaker 3: like it help desk or something, you know, like how
[3:30] Speaker 3: you meet people. You got to get out and do stuff.
[3:32] Speaker 1: Or if you're more comfortable on the computer, you can
[3:34] Speaker 1: join us with the Drinks and Reads book club.
[3:37] Speaker 3: The link to that is patreon dot com. Slash Kiki said,
[3:40] Speaker 3: so this month we are reading The Nothing Man. It
[3:43] Speaker 3: is available on audible for the people who like audio books.
[3:46] Speaker 3: And whether you joined the book club or not, I
[3:49] Speaker 3: didn't realize how many people weren't familiar with.
[3:51] Speaker 1: The Libby app. Do you know what the Libby app?
[3:54] Speaker 3: So all you need to do is get a library
[3:56] Speaker 3: card from your local public.
[3:59] Speaker 1: And you can check out the books.
[4:00] Speaker 3: So they have the Kindle books and they also have
[4:03] Speaker 3: audio books and you can do it from your phone.
[4:07] Speaker 3: And then also if you have Spotify Premium, they have
[4:13] Speaker 3: a lot of audio books on there now.
[4:15] Speaker 1: So Audible it.
[4:18] Speaker 3: Was cool and everything, but like I love my Spotify
[4:21] Speaker 3: Bundle because I get Spotify with my music.
[4:24] Speaker 1: No ads. I have the audio.
[4:26] Speaker 3: Books and I get my Hulu subscription for free.
[4:30] Speaker 1: Real yeah, it's all bundled in. I still got titled
[4:33] Speaker 1: because I've just been holding on to Beyonce and that
[4:35] Speaker 1: I don't even think they're in it. They're not, but
[4:37] Speaker 1: I just didn't. I just wanted to hurt it. All
[4:39] Speaker 1: was loyal. But all you get is title. Yeah, and
[4:45] Speaker 1: it's like if it's good, I mean like maybe I
[4:47] Speaker 1: should get Spotify. Why have a package deal?
[4:51] Speaker 3: I don't know how much you can listen on Spotify
[4:55] Speaker 3: to the audio books, for example, but I listened to
[4:58] Speaker 3: a lot of books like daily and it's never like, oh,
[5:01] Speaker 3: you can't play this, so yeah, check it out and
[5:04] Speaker 3: there's a bunch of freebies now Audible keep the app
[5:06] Speaker 3: because you know they have free books on there too.
[5:08] Speaker 3: Just depends anyway, get your reading and also something else.
[5:13] Speaker 1: Another thing helpful tip for this summer.
[5:17] Speaker 3: I also didn't realize how many people didn't realize how
[5:19] Speaker 3: much the libraries offer the public.
[5:22] Speaker 1: Libraries tell the people, because I know people don't know, y'all.
[5:26] Speaker 3: When you are trying to figure out what to do
[5:27] Speaker 3: with your kids or even yourself, or if you have someone.
[5:31] Speaker 1: Older that you're taking care of.
[5:32] Speaker 3: Check out the libraries in the summertime before they take
[5:35] Speaker 3: all the good stuff away. They have so many different activities.
[5:39] Speaker 3: They many of them had funding to be able to
[5:43] Speaker 3: provide lunches for the kids and stuff or whoever. And
[5:48] Speaker 3: while some of those snap benefits may not be there
[5:51] Speaker 3: or they're going away or whatever, there's other organizations that come.
[5:54] Speaker 3: You get your kids fed, they can learn something, they
[5:56] Speaker 3: have new activities and stuff.
[5:58] Speaker 1: My mom took my niece's to Louisiana.
[6:02] Speaker 3: To spend some time out there, and she left them there.
[6:05] Speaker 3: She was taking everybody to the library. She was like,
[6:06] Speaker 3: we're not sitting around in the house playing video games
[6:09] Speaker 3: all day and she's not get up and she was like,
[6:11] Speaker 3: you know, I don't play that. I don't like seeing
[6:13] Speaker 3: kids sitting around. They need to be outside playing or
[6:15] Speaker 3: we're going to the library. She took them to the library.
[6:18] Speaker 3: That library now they do a special thing. I think
[6:21] Speaker 3: it's like not all the time, but they closed the
[6:24] Speaker 3: whole second floor on this one special day and they
[6:27] Speaker 3: let the kids do laser tag in the library.
[6:30] Speaker 1: It's just like shut down. They pull the shades down.
[6:33] Speaker 3: It's dark in there, so they can play laser tag
[6:35] Speaker 3: and they have like all these different activities and everything
[6:38] Speaker 3: is totally free. I was looking here to see what
[6:41] Speaker 3: kind of stuff. I was like, Oh, I keep talking
[6:43] Speaker 3: about I want to learn another language and I want
[6:45] Speaker 3: to get back into Spanish and some other stuff. So
[6:47] Speaker 3: I was looking for Spanish classes and they do have
[6:49] Speaker 3: free Spanish classes for English speakers. However, it's all the
[6:53] Speaker 3: way and John's Creek. I ain't going out there, baby,
[6:55] Speaker 3: but I'll keep our library.
[6:58] Speaker 1: It didn't have. I checked.
[6:59] Speaker 3: I did the whole Fulton COTNY to see what all
[7:02] Speaker 3: they had. They had that they have yoga, many libraries
[7:06] Speaker 3: depending on where you are. They have podcast studios free,
[7:10] Speaker 3: they have classes to teach you how to edit. There's
[7:13] Speaker 3: so much more than just books. So whatever it is,
[7:16] Speaker 3: y'all take your eyes down to the library. Yeah, and
[7:18] Speaker 3: bring those kids because they can't read and they need
[7:20] Speaker 3: to learn how and knowledge is power. Yeah, and y'all
[7:24] Speaker 3: need to be reading because everybody, because some of y'all
[7:27] Speaker 3: can't either.
[7:28] Speaker 1: Yeah, they have to date on your stuff. Yeah you
[7:32] Speaker 1: went on poor Minds.
[7:33] Speaker 3: Oh yes, so I went on poor Minds. I think now,
[7:38] Speaker 3: I don't know when the episode comes out. I think
[7:40] Speaker 3: the episode will be out tomorrow. If not tomorrow, then
[7:43] Speaker 3: next Friday.
[7:44] Speaker 1: But I went on there.
[7:45] Speaker 3: I did an episode with them, and then I also
[7:48] Speaker 3: did like some of their Patreon stuff.
[7:50] Speaker 1: We just played a game how I forget the name
[7:53] Speaker 1: of the game. It's like how something are you?
[7:54] Speaker 3: But it was like it reminded me of Cosmo magazine,
[7:57] Speaker 3: you know how much I used to love that where
[7:59] Speaker 3: you answer these questions And then I was like, well
[8:02] Speaker 3: what am I and.
[8:03] Speaker 1: They're like, oh, we don't have to. I was like, no,
[8:04] Speaker 1: wait a minute, y'all need to come up with some
[8:07] Speaker 1: characters now. Anyway, it was fun doing that, And they.
[8:13] Speaker 3: Have a bartender on their show, ty She's really cool
[8:17] Speaker 3: and we were talking whenever I hosted their show premiere party,
[8:25] Speaker 3: Ty was there and she did something. So Tye works
[8:28] Speaker 3: for Crown Royal now and I might be wrong, but
[8:32] Speaker 3: I'm pretty sure she said she ended up getting the
[8:34] Speaker 3: job after doing the bartending stuff there. So fun story
[8:37] Speaker 3: about ty. She went to Howard too. I didn't know
[8:40] Speaker 3: her from Howard, but we have a mutual friend. This
[8:43] Speaker 3: is back when we were at Bravo Ocean and Jessica,
[8:47] Speaker 3: your Tipsy homegirl, was our bartender. So he had hit
[8:50] Speaker 3: me up about Tye and I was like, oh, well,
[8:51] Speaker 3: we have somebody already, but I'll keep her in mind,
[8:54] Speaker 3: like if Jessica's not available. And then Dre had asked
[8:58] Speaker 3: me a about if I knew anybody or whatever, and
[9:02] Speaker 3: I was like, oh, yes, I actually do know somebody.
[9:05] Speaker 1: And that was many moons ago, and she's.
[9:07] Speaker 3: Still there and doing stuff and just having more opportunities.
[9:11] Speaker 3: And I think that, you know, sometimes like when things
[9:14] Speaker 3: don't work out because he hit her, hit me up
[9:17] Speaker 3: to have her be on cocktails, but it's it worked
[9:19] Speaker 3: out for her still, So sometimes when things don't go
[9:23] Speaker 3: your way, it's okay. There might be something else out there.
[9:27] Speaker 1: Yep. So anyway, I did that and that was really fun,
[9:30] Speaker 1: and we did they do karaoke at the.
[9:32] Speaker 3: End, you know, and we were talking about how we
[9:34] Speaker 3: were their first guests in their new studio and they're, yeah,
[9:37] Speaker 3: we had to get this sound right and staid because
[9:38] Speaker 3: they back to regular mics and so sometimes you know,
[9:42] Speaker 3: we be doing too much. Anyways, we did what is
[9:45] Speaker 3: that song? With Usher, Ersha, Luda, Chris and Look lovers
[9:51] Speaker 3: in France. Oh my gosh, are you sure you want
[9:55] Speaker 3: to go this route?
[9:57] Speaker 1: Who let a nigga no before I put it?
[10:00] Speaker 3: Who do you think I would never ever cross the line?
[10:04] Speaker 1: Show the limit? He gets him one more time, one
[10:08] Speaker 1: more time. I love What do you think I was?
[10:11] Speaker 1: You were little John?
[10:14] Speaker 3: Yep yep, yeah, And you know me, that was the
[10:17] Speaker 3: best one for me.
[10:18] Speaker 1: Ludacris is too fast, too fast. He's like I sound
[10:22] Speaker 1: that whole entire song everybody's heart mm hmm.
[10:25] Speaker 3: I'd be a little off someometimes because I don't know
[10:27] Speaker 3: when to breathe and stuff.
[10:29] Speaker 1: But that is a hit.
[10:31] Speaker 3: It's a hit, it's a I don't need to put
[10:33] Speaker 3: more respect on Ludacris's name, I will say, because I
[10:35] Speaker 3: think people forget about him. But he had some bangers
[10:38] Speaker 3: and he's really talented. And when you can slow down
[10:41] Speaker 3: your mind to catch up to what he's actually saying,
[10:43] Speaker 3: he's quite clever.
[10:45] Speaker 1: I like Ludacris. I like him and I don't not
[10:48] Speaker 1: like him. I don't know what it is about you.
[10:49] Speaker 1: You're different. I mean it's like that song is good,
[10:52] Speaker 1: but like just Ludacris alone is like he always kind
[10:54] Speaker 1: of had like a little I don't know what you know.
[10:55] Speaker 1: Some people just like I don't know what it is,
[10:57] Speaker 1: but I just don't like you do.
[11:00] Speaker 3: Sometimes you just feel that way and let's normalize. Hey,
[11:03] Speaker 3: sometimes people just aren't a cup of tea. There's nothing
[11:05] Speaker 3: wrong with that.
[11:06] Speaker 1: So yeah, I went on poor Mines, I went somewhere
[11:10] Speaker 1: else on a show or out out. I did something.
[11:14] Speaker 3: I went you in a restaurant, Pata Negra. I believe
[11:20] Speaker 3: it's it's in Buckheat, but like Bucket Midtown, like right
[11:24] Speaker 3: on the edge on Peach Tree, you know where. What
[11:27] Speaker 3: is that place called? It's a it's another Mexican restaurant.
[11:31] Speaker 3: Pasa Negra is cute. You could go there for a
[11:34] Speaker 3: date night, or it's cute for lunch. So my friend
[11:37] Speaker 3: came and picked me up. I hadn't been answered my
[11:39] Speaker 3: phone and stuff, so she knew she needed to come
[11:41] Speaker 3: pop up on me, and she did. So she took
[11:44] Speaker 3: me to lunch. And it's really good and it's just
[11:48] Speaker 3: like cute and vibing in there.
[11:50] Speaker 1: It's across from there's a Boutika.
[11:53] Speaker 3: What's that place you used to like to go to
[11:54] Speaker 3: that I don't like, And it's like after the club place.
[11:56] Speaker 3: But they had like allegedly organic or healthy food or
[12:00] Speaker 3: some shit. Maybe they just had extra vegetarian options. It's
[12:03] Speaker 3: colorful and cluttered.
[12:05] Speaker 1: I didn't like it one I know that's what I said.
[12:11] Speaker 1: You loved it. I used to beel like, damn it,
[12:14] Speaker 1: we're going to our timas again. I think that was open,
[12:18] Speaker 1: it was safe. You had to walk up that.
[12:21] Speaker 3: Want to go to Landmark for my land chops. But
[12:24] Speaker 3: you know, I would always get out voted because you
[12:26] Speaker 3: and Hannah both love that place.
[12:28] Speaker 1: But it's a place you gotta go, or at least
[12:30] Speaker 1: you had to. Where are y'all young people be going?
[12:33] Speaker 3: They're Atlanta?
[12:34] Speaker 1: I don't remember. Keep me away the young people is dangerous.
[12:37] Speaker 3: Yeah, Demmie scaring me and I don't know what they're
[12:39] Speaker 3: saying half the time.
[12:40] Speaker 1: They probably don't either. Also, I want to let you
[12:44] Speaker 1: guys know that this week, no next week.
[12:48] Speaker 3: Sorry, I had to think about what day it was
[12:50] Speaker 3: because we recorded in reverse order. Next week, my show
[12:53] Speaker 3: XOMN podcast with Exo, Nicole and Willpacker is coming out.
[13:00] Speaker 1: I will be hosting it.
[13:00] Speaker 3: I'm interviewing different black men about different aspects of black masculinity, love, relationships,
[13:08] Speaker 3: family dynamics, fatherhood, marriage, career, self care, all that stuff, childhood, Trump,
[13:15] Speaker 3: We're going there we're talking about it. It's really interesting
[13:18] Speaker 3: and I have done a shit ton of episodes already.
[13:22] Speaker 3: I'm really excited about it. This has been a labor
[13:24] Speaker 3: of love. I've been working on this since last year
[13:28] Speaker 3: and we kept thinking it was going to come out,
[13:30] Speaker 3: and so I have already recorded fifteen episodes. They're all
[13:34] Speaker 3: totally done, ready to go. Yeah. So I'm a producer
[13:39] Speaker 3: on the show as well as a host. And it's
[13:42] Speaker 3: funny because there's a team of us. There's Nimmi, Sheridan
[13:46] Speaker 3: and London shout out to y'all. Those are the other
[13:49] Speaker 3: three producers.
[13:50] Speaker 1: And when we were starting out, they didn't ask me
[13:53] Speaker 1: to produce the show.
[13:54] Speaker 3: They just asked me to host. And this was when
[13:56] Speaker 3: I was like, I've gotta start speaking up and saying
[14:00] Speaker 3: what I want and like, why not just shoot your shot? Because,
[14:03] Speaker 3: like I said earlier, what can they tell you no?
[14:05] Speaker 3: So they hit me up to host the show. I
[14:08] Speaker 3: came back with an offer and a proposal for them
[14:11] Speaker 3: to let me produce and host and so end up
[14:15] Speaker 3: being like the producer on the show. But I don't
[14:18] Speaker 3: like booking guests. You know that that is a tedious task.
[14:23] Speaker 3: It is important to have guests, especially on that show,
[14:25] Speaker 3: because I'm not a man. Uh so, I do have
[14:28] Speaker 3: a say so in the guest I don't book anybody.
[14:31] Speaker 3: I've booked a few people, but that's not really my responsibility.
[14:34] Speaker 3: I'm hoping to get some more interesting people. The episode
[14:37] Speaker 3: that I can't wait to come out is this episode
[14:39] Speaker 3: with David Banner. That one was probably one of my
[14:41] Speaker 3: favorite ones.
[14:43] Speaker 1: Yes he was, Is he single? Yes he is?
[14:46] Speaker 3: Oh he was like. He cut me off and was like,
[14:50] Speaker 3: what you thinking, Oh, tell me what you think. I
[14:53] Speaker 3: was just say I'm trying to be professional, y'all. I'm
[14:56] Speaker 3: gonna tell y'all right now. But I'm telling y'all this
[14:59] Speaker 3: with the understanding that come Tuesday, when the audio drops,
[15:03] Speaker 3: you're gonna go to whatever audio app you use, you
[15:05] Speaker 3: will hit subscribe, you will like it, and you're gonna
[15:08] Speaker 3: leave a five star review and say we need more Kiera.
[15:12] Speaker 3: And don't be alarmed because he says Kiera Walker, not kik.
[15:15] Speaker 3: He says so because I'm trying to grow up, right,
[15:18] Speaker 3: So anyways, I need y'all to do that. And then
[15:21] Speaker 3: on Wednesdays or when the videos drop, makes I need
[15:24] Speaker 3: y'all everywhere in the comments everything job YouTube. I need
[15:28] Speaker 3: y'all on the social media, it's on the clips, all
[15:31] Speaker 3: of the stuff.
[15:32] Speaker 1: Because this is a job for me.
[15:33] Speaker 3: This isn't my concept or anything, and I want to
[15:35] Speaker 3: keep it okay anyway. I'm trying to be professional.
[15:40] Speaker 1: My dress ripped.
[15:42] Speaker 3: Warren and Cass were filming, and we were like trying
[15:46] Speaker 3: to use some of the production tape to take me
[15:50] Speaker 3: back together.
[15:51] Speaker 1: Na I said, not even my dress is hot in
[15:55] Speaker 1: the twat for this man.
[15:56] Speaker 3: It was just trying to I was trying to disrobe subconscious.
[16:00] Speaker 1: So what did you do? I just wrapped it to
[16:03] Speaker 1: the song. I mean, I didn't know what to do.
[16:05] Speaker 1: I couldn't do no.
[16:06] Speaker 3: I mean, he was there and that was the only
[16:07] Speaker 3: person I was interviewing that day. It was just like
[16:10] Speaker 3: he's walking in my dress.
[16:11] Speaker 1: It wasn't.
[16:12] Speaker 3: And then what pissed me off is as much stuff
[16:14] Speaker 3: as I exquosed my big ass up into. It wasn't
[16:18] Speaker 3: even that. It was just fucking fashion and I just
[16:22] Speaker 3: know what loos It was supposed to do better than that.
[16:25] Speaker 3: But I didn't worry about I worried about four or
[16:28] Speaker 3: five times. It's probably after four times, you just need
[16:30] Speaker 3: to call it quits.
[16:31] Speaker 1: Sometimes you got four times. It was because it was love.
[16:35] Speaker 1: We did the basketball things with making him my dress.
[16:37] Speaker 3: I was like, and it's just they had good tape, though,
[16:42] Speaker 3: I need to find that tape. Anyways, dress falling off,
[16:46] Speaker 3: I had to I don't remember what happened with my hair.
[16:49] Speaker 3: Maybe my hair pointment got canceled. I had to stop
[16:51] Speaker 3: in the ghetto somewhere and get me a little cheap
[16:54] Speaker 3: organique synthetic blend hair thing. I made me a little bun.
[16:59] Speaker 3: I felt cute, though I thought I pulled it together. Anyway,
[17:02] Speaker 3: he was flirting. He had asked me if I was
[17:07] Speaker 3: hot and bothered, and then he was staring at me,
[17:11] Speaker 3: and I was so nervous. I was visioning with this iPad.
[17:13] Speaker 3: I was like, we're gonna move on because you're doing
[17:16] Speaker 3: that thing with your eyes and we'll talk about it later.
[17:18] Speaker 1: And he was like, what thing with my eyes? You mean?
[17:20] Speaker 3: Because I'm looking at you and your eyes like a
[17:23] Speaker 3: man is supposed to. I was like, now you need
[17:26] Speaker 3: to cut it out.
[17:26] Speaker 1: You could beat my dad Patty. Yeah, And there was
[17:30] Speaker 1: a story.
[17:31] Speaker 3: I don't remember where we were coming back from, if
[17:32] Speaker 3: it was New York or LA, but it was during
[17:35] Speaker 3: touring season and we were in the Delta lounge together,
[17:38] Speaker 3: he and I and I don't something in that stare. Anyways,
[17:43] Speaker 3: I dropped. All my shit was tumbling down the esciat.
[17:45] Speaker 3: I mean, it was just a mess. He tried to
[17:46] Speaker 3: help me, and then I was like, please don't let
[17:48] Speaker 3: him be sitting by me. Please don't let him be
[17:49] Speaker 3: sitting by me. And he kept walking closer and the
[17:51] Speaker 3: seat was empty. He did not sit by me. He
[17:53] Speaker 3: sat somewhere else. But anyway, I shared a bunch of
[17:56] Speaker 3: fun stories. He told me some interesting things. I was
[17:59] Speaker 3: kind of surprised at some of the things that he said,
[18:01] Speaker 3: but yeah, that was probably one of my favorite episodes.
[18:03] Speaker 3: And I got to talk to Kendrick Sampson that was
[18:06] Speaker 3: you won't like him because he's got the light eyesh.
[18:09] Speaker 1: He was on Insecure.
[18:12] Speaker 3: He was I think, yeah, okay, he is really from
[18:17] Speaker 3: there and his daddy was from Louisiana. And when we
[18:20] Speaker 3: were talking about that, he was cute. He was an
[18:23] Speaker 3: interesting guy. He said that he doesn't ever want a relationship.
[18:27] Speaker 3: I think the only Yeah, and it's interesting to hear
[18:32] Speaker 3: why he feels that way. Anyway, a ton of great
[18:34] Speaker 3: episodes I'm really looking forward to all of them. The
[18:36] Speaker 3: first one will be with Devout Ellis, so y'all check
[18:39] Speaker 3: it out. Tuesday again is audio and Wednesday will.
[18:43] Speaker 1: Be the video. I can't wait to listen. I love
[18:45] Speaker 1: to hear men talk when a woman's guiding the conversation.
[18:49] Speaker 3: Yeah, and they, for the most part. I didn't have
[18:51] Speaker 3: to fool tease. There were a few, but y'all just
[18:53] Speaker 3: tune in. You'll see the ones exciting.
[18:57] Speaker 1: That's fun. If any of them need to buy a house,
[18:59] Speaker 1: just make sure you tell them to look me up. Okay, okay, okay.
[19:04] Speaker 1: I want only.
[19:05] Speaker 3: Sell in Georgia or are you in other states too?
[19:07] Speaker 1: I'm only here right now, but I want to get licensed,
[19:10] Speaker 1: and I plan on getting licensed in Texas because it
[19:13] Speaker 1: makes sense, and Oklahoma and maybe even Alabama, just because
[19:17] Speaker 1: we're so close. In Florida. The text maybe from Florida
[19:22] Speaker 1: and it's all right here.
[19:24] Speaker 3: You already be in the car all day.
[19:27] Speaker 1: But with that being said, I have two new clients,
[19:29] Speaker 1: one of them I am just so excited about, and
[19:32] Speaker 1: I can't wait to document the whole experience. I finally
[19:37] Speaker 1: have a client where it's like we can document it.
[19:40] Speaker 1: We will like we're making content around it, and it's
[19:43] Speaker 1: like a whole big deal. All my other clients are like,
[19:46] Speaker 1: I don't want to be on Instagram, don't put this
[19:49] Speaker 1: dead lie, don't do the thing on yeah, And it's
[19:53] Speaker 1: like we have this whole little plan of like this
[19:55] Speaker 1: real exciting. It's so excited, just the story behind it.
[19:58] Speaker 1: It's just like we were even talking and like and
[20:00] Speaker 1: I found the house and so it's just I just
[20:03] Speaker 1: feel like, you know how you were talking about like
[20:05] Speaker 1: when one door closes, and we're like you never know,
[20:08] Speaker 1: like just what Avenue's life is going to lead you down?
[20:10] Speaker 1: And so yeah, I'm just I'm just really excited about
[20:15] Speaker 1: one of my clients. But I have two new clients.
[20:16] Speaker 1: It's really it's just such a thing. I'm just like,
[20:18] Speaker 1: oh my gosh, like I'm really doing my thing in realism.
[20:21] Speaker 1: Maybe a year ago you're like.
[20:22] Speaker 3: I just want to sell off, and now you got
[20:24] Speaker 3: all these clients, you're doing showings all the time. Look
[20:27] Speaker 3: at what a difference of your makes.
[20:28] Speaker 1: Yeah, and a difference of your makes It's wild. And
[20:31] Speaker 1: it's like one of the things that I didn't realize
[20:33] Speaker 1: was going to be my message. And I keep noticing this.
[20:36] Speaker 1: The more people reach out just to ask questions or
[20:39] Speaker 1: to talk or to just to learn about home ownership.
[20:43] Speaker 1: Is that people that look like us, and when I
[20:46] Speaker 1: say us, like obviously black, but also like content creators
[20:50] Speaker 1: or podcasters or you have like a different type of
[20:53] Speaker 1: you don't have a traditional job, but you also are
[20:56] Speaker 1: bringing in money and you do your taxes and all
[20:58] Speaker 1: of that stuff. People don't really that there are options
[21:02] Speaker 1: for you, Like I didn't know that. People just assume
[21:05] Speaker 1: that a lot of people are just like I can't
[21:06] Speaker 1: buy a house. I can't buy a house because because
[21:09] Speaker 1: of whatever you think. But it's a thought, and so
[21:11] Speaker 1: you don't actually know for sure, like if you could
[21:15] Speaker 1: get approved even if you think you have bad credit. Y'all. Literally,
[21:18] Speaker 1: I'm saying this, even if you don't work with me,
[21:21] Speaker 1: do not assume that you can't have home ownership if
[21:23] Speaker 1: you have not tried. I literally one of my clients
[21:26] Speaker 1: was hitting me up to help her get a rental
[21:29] Speaker 1: and I was like, you sure you want to do that,
[21:31] Speaker 1: Like just to give you some education that I'm learning,
[21:33] Speaker 1: Like you sure have you done your taxes? Year? You
[21:35] Speaker 1: making money no matter how much? Yeah, let's just see
[21:39] Speaker 1: let's just see. She thought she was getting a rental,
[21:42] Speaker 1: You're getting a home. And like I have found this
[21:45] Speaker 1: like a love for being like do not like, don't
[21:50] Speaker 1: assume you do not know the like the horrible credit
[21:53] Speaker 1: is the credit card debt? Like you think about student
[21:56] Speaker 1: student loan son. Yeah, like come on, like just let's
[22:00] Speaker 1: just see, let's just see what could happen here. And
[22:04] Speaker 1: I just want people to believe you could probably own
[22:09] Speaker 1: a home. You don't have to jump into your dream home.
[22:11] Speaker 1: That's not how this works. Get into the house. You
[22:14] Speaker 1: can get in, live there for a while, let it
[22:16] Speaker 1: build value, get a little equity, and then that could
[22:19] Speaker 1: get your dream home. Y'all. BET's stop playing because the
[22:22] Speaker 1: white people is out here doing it and I'll be
[22:23] Speaker 1: in the rooms with the white people like these things
[22:27] Speaker 1: these let me go past the message and it's just
[22:29] Speaker 1: like so it's just like this whole new avenue of
[22:31] Speaker 1: like I really want to help the people that are
[22:34] Speaker 1: content creators or have non traditional jobs, know, like just
[22:36] Speaker 1: the steps, just the steps, like come on anyways, So
[22:41] Speaker 1: that I have two new clients, I'm really excited about that.
[22:43] Speaker 1: It feels really good. Also, we have a day pass
[22:47] Speaker 1: for the Sedona Retreat with Paradise and Vibe. I'm also
[22:52] Speaker 1: really excited about that retreat. We'll be saying at the
[22:54] Speaker 1: enchantment it is like a festival if you will, it's vibefest.
[22:59] Speaker 1: It's gonna be vibes. So if you live in Arizona,
[23:01] Speaker 1: or if you live somewhere else and you just wanted
[23:03] Speaker 1: to come and you didn't want to, you know, do
[23:06] Speaker 1: the whole experience with us, and you're like, I just
[23:07] Speaker 1: want to see Lisa or I just want to come
[23:09] Speaker 1: to the festival portion. There are day passes available, So
[23:13] Speaker 1: go to Paradise and Vibe dot com and sign up. Now,
[23:15] Speaker 1: tell them I sent you. Also, I just wanted to
[23:19] Speaker 1: share this. Y'all know, I've been getting real intense with
[23:23] Speaker 1: my Jesus walk lately, and so I have been really
[23:26] Speaker 1: carving out time to like read the Bible and try
[23:29] Speaker 1: to understand what's going on. And like my sister was like,
[23:32] Speaker 1: sometimes certain scriptures will just like jump out at you,
[23:34] Speaker 1: but that was not my experience. I kept opening the
[23:36] Speaker 1: Bible and I kept seeing like there was this part
[23:39] Speaker 1: in different areas where it's like the gnashing of the teeth,
[23:41] Speaker 1: and I was like, Mecca was like, you're the only
[23:43] Speaker 1: person who's knowing the national I was like, I keep
[23:45] Speaker 1: seeing nashing of the teeth. There would be weeping and
[23:47] Speaker 1: gnashing of the teeth. Anyways, one day I opened it
[23:51] Speaker 1: and it was in Matthew and there was this scripture.
[23:54] Speaker 1: It was Matthew six twenty one. I don't even be
[23:56] Speaker 1: remembering the scriptures like that, and it was I don't
[23:58] Speaker 1: know about heart, but it was something about where where
[24:00] Speaker 1: your treasures are is where your heart's desires are something
[24:04] Speaker 1: like that, and it made me. I was crying and
[24:07] Speaker 1: I called my sister and I was like, I don't
[24:08] Speaker 1: know where my treasury is. Like I don't know where
[24:09] Speaker 1: my treasure is. And it's making me really like upset
[24:12] Speaker 1: because the whole scripture is about like whatever you spend
[24:14] Speaker 1: the most time doing that is where you will find
[24:16] Speaker 1: the desires of your heart. And I couldn't get to
[24:19] Speaker 1: the bottom of like where are my treasures? Like I
[24:21] Speaker 1: really was like I don't, Like lately, I've just been
[24:22] Speaker 1: so like there's a lot of stuff that I've cut
[24:25] Speaker 1: out of my life, and so it's like I don't
[24:27] Speaker 1: know where my treasure is, don't know my treasure is
[24:28] Speaker 1: bothering me. So I was like, I need to I
[24:32] Speaker 1: need to help people, or I need to volunteer. Anyways,
[24:34] Speaker 1: I started volunteering at Meals on Wheels and I did
[24:36] Speaker 1: the first volunteer thing with Keller Williams. They had a
[24:39] Speaker 1: red day and everybody just went and I didn't really
[24:41] Speaker 1: know what Meals on Wheels was. I'm like, I was like, oh,
[24:42] Speaker 1: this is cool. We packed the boxes. So I went
[24:44] Speaker 1: to their website to see what other options they had available.
[24:47] Speaker 1: And you can go to Meals on Wheels different days
[24:50] Speaker 1: of the week or Saturday mornings and you can deliver
[24:54] Speaker 1: food to the seniors. And I did it. I've been
[24:57] Speaker 1: doing it every Saturday morning at a thirty and I
[25:00] Speaker 1: pull up, they fill up your car with all of
[25:03] Speaker 1: these meals and Kiki, I went. They give you a
[25:08] Speaker 1: little route, they give you the people's names, They give
[25:10] Speaker 1: you some notes about them, like this lady might not
[25:12] Speaker 1: be able to walk. You might have to like go
[25:14] Speaker 1: and like sit it somewhere where she can actually get it.
[25:16] Speaker 1: If she doesn't answer, call this person, and there's all
[25:19] Speaker 1: these things and like literally it was like it was
[25:22] Speaker 1: so rewarding. I talked to old people. I brought them
[25:28] Speaker 1: their food. I met this lady named missus Maymi. She
[25:32] Speaker 1: was like, I was crying. I am a person where
[25:34] Speaker 1: it's like I wear my emotions on my sleeves. You're
[25:36] Speaker 1: gonna know that I feel it. I got in my
[25:38] Speaker 1: car and I just cried. I couldn't believe that, like
[25:42] Speaker 1: there are people in the world. Was like, you don't
[25:43] Speaker 1: have anybody like they rely on these meals. They rely
[25:48] Speaker 1: on you to like these like people to like because
[25:51] Speaker 1: when I talked to meals and was They're like, please
[25:52] Speaker 1: don't cancel it. Don't commit if you know you're gonna
[25:54] Speaker 1: be canceling because if you cancel, they don't eat. Yeah,
[25:57] Speaker 1: they don't eat. And so it made me even feel
[25:59] Speaker 1: more like Okay, get up, it's I know it's it's Saturday,
[26:02] Speaker 1: but get up and go. And it just felt so great.
[26:06] Speaker 1: So I am like in a in a phase in
[26:11] Speaker 1: my life that I want to stick of finding my
[26:16] Speaker 1: treasure and like making sure the treasure matters. And it
[26:20] Speaker 1: was just such a it was so special. I could
[26:23] Speaker 1: not believe that. I could imagine if my grandma had
[26:25] Speaker 1: to be like getting up down the steps to like
[26:28] Speaker 1: try to get the It was a lot and Anyways,
[26:31] Speaker 1: it was just such a wonderful opportunity to be able
[26:34] Speaker 1: to serve the elderly people in Atlanta, and I'm doing
[26:37] Speaker 1: it again this Saturday. So I say that to say,
[26:39] Speaker 1: if you guys have time on your hands and you
[26:44] Speaker 1: don't know where your treasure is, they have availability during
[26:47] Speaker 1: the week, you can go to meals on wheels and
[26:49] Speaker 1: pack the lunches. Or you can go to meals on
[26:51] Speaker 1: wheels during the week or on the weekends and let
[26:54] Speaker 1: them give you the boxes of food. They give you
[26:56] Speaker 1: the route, and you go and deliver hand deliver the
[26:58] Speaker 1: meals to the seniors and it is life changing. And yeah,
[27:03] Speaker 1: I just wanted to share that with you guys.
[27:04] Speaker 2: So it's sweet because imagine, like you live your whole
[27:10] Speaker 2: life and what if you don't have kids, or your
[27:13] Speaker 2: kids are gone or they don't fuck with you, your
[27:16] Speaker 2: spouse is gone and you're just there, and then it's
[27:19] Speaker 2: like you're supposed to survive of of what they anticipated
[27:22] Speaker 2: would be enough. Yeah, the older I get, the less
[27:27] Speaker 2: I'm worried about like appearance so much, and it's more
[27:30] Speaker 2: about things like that.
[27:32] Speaker 1: That's why I made sure.
[27:33] Speaker 3: To show up for my friend's daughter's recital because I
[27:37] Speaker 3: need to make sure all the kids know Auntie Kiki
[27:40] Speaker 3: loves you and she's been here for you for a
[27:42] Speaker 3: long time. So when Aunti Keiki gets old, you need
[27:44] Speaker 3: to check on her because Whitley's probably gonna be dead.
[27:49] Speaker 3: In my obituary is gonna say she was preceded in
[27:52] Speaker 3: death by her loving dog, Whitley Beyonce Gilbert forty years ago,
[27:56] Speaker 3: like you know, like I men't think about that though,
[27:58] Speaker 3: Like I got my niece and said, oh no, So
[28:00] Speaker 3: I'm tapping in with all the kids. Yeah, and I
[28:03] Speaker 3: love the kids. They wear me out. Maybe I need
[28:05] Speaker 3: to do some more stuff as old people. It could
[28:08] Speaker 3: be hard sometimes, but I do like I've always enjoyed
[28:11] Speaker 3: being around old people.
[28:13] Speaker 1: It's comforting to me. I feel like we can relate.
[28:15] Speaker 1: I'm thinking about lot of things, so doing the mills
[28:19] Speaker 1: on wheels, and I think I'm gonna start going to
[28:22] Speaker 1: because you can't really you can't just like sit with
[28:24] Speaker 1: him at the mill. You give the food and go,
[28:25] Speaker 1: like you don't be going in the house and doing stuff.
[28:28] Speaker 1: But like I think I want to start volunteering out
[28:30] Speaker 1: a like a Senior citizen home. Yeah, a nursing home
[28:34] Speaker 1: and just like talking with people and hearing people's stories
[28:37] Speaker 1: and just just making your hours and on this earth
[28:42] Speaker 1: count because they should be good.
[28:45] Speaker 3: Yeah, make your time matter and not just be doing
[28:48] Speaker 3: mindless things. I know my grandfather used to feel like
[28:51] Speaker 3: sometimes people forgot about him when he would be in
[28:55] Speaker 3: the nursing home because I told you all he fell
[28:57] Speaker 3: off the side of the house before and a few
[28:59] Speaker 3: other mishaps. He'd be the nursing home recovering. And sometimes
[29:05] Speaker 3: my grandma would stay overnight, but sometimes she wouldn't. She's
[29:07] Speaker 3: got her own health issues. Sometimes she needs to be
[29:09] Speaker 3: in the bed anyway, when people weren't visiting, or I
[29:14] Speaker 3: would go visit when I was in town and I
[29:16] Speaker 3: would hear other people.
[29:17] Speaker 1: Some people would just be screaming.
[29:19] Speaker 3: Not because they're in pain, they just want some attention
[29:22] Speaker 3: and they want somebody to come in there because they're lonely.
[29:24] Speaker 1: Yeah, and they can't get up.
[29:25] Speaker 3: And it's just like nobody's coming to visit. It can
[29:28] Speaker 3: be really sad. So, yeah, that's a good one. And
[29:30] Speaker 3: I was watching something land Man and it's a show.
[29:35] Speaker 1: It's on Paramount. Plus I want to say.
[29:37] Speaker 3: Or Peacock one of them anyway, point of that part
[29:40] Speaker 3: of the story is this girl and her mom ended
[29:43] Speaker 3: up volunteering at a nursing home and they work up.
[29:45] Speaker 3: Now they were bringing them Margarita's, which they weren't supposed.
[29:47] Speaker 1: To do, but I'll bring now.
[29:51] Speaker 3: Yeah, they were having a good time and they were
[29:54] Speaker 3: bringing them games, they were playing dancing. She was bringing
[29:57] Speaker 3: this new man to see how he was gonna act
[29:59] Speaker 3: around the old people, if he was going to volunteer
[30:01] Speaker 3: or be turned off, because that was gonna be an
[30:03] Speaker 3: issue for her. They're liking him because he's attractive, and
[30:06] Speaker 3: so all the old ladies are having a good time.
[30:08] Speaker 1: Like it was just good.
[30:09] Speaker 3: And sometimes hanging out with the old people can be
[30:12] Speaker 3: fun aside from here in their storte, but it's just nice,
[30:14] Speaker 3: you know, Yeah, it's nice.
[30:18] Speaker 1: Speaking of being lonely, this I was talking to. There
[30:24] Speaker 1: was a guy that I was talking to on the phone.
[30:26] Speaker 1: We was on the phone for like three hours. He's
[30:27] Speaker 1: just a friend. But are we sure? I don't I'm
[30:31] Speaker 1: not sure.
[30:31] Speaker 3: But last man I stayed on the phone with three hours.
[30:34] Speaker 3: I ended up sucking him. So I'm just so you know,
[30:36] Speaker 3: it took years, so I know you're taken a hero's
[30:42] Speaker 3: probably about four or five.
[30:43] Speaker 1: We were having such a good conversation sex and I'm
[30:49] Speaker 1: not having sex and be it and it's so crazy.
[30:52] Speaker 1: I'm taking to it so well that I didn't even
[30:54] Speaker 1: realize how long it's actually been because I stopped having
[30:58] Speaker 1: sex in the relations in my relationship, so it's not
[31:00] Speaker 1: like this doesn't it's not like get started just because
[31:02] Speaker 1: we broke up. My body was like, nah, nigga, you
[31:04] Speaker 1: don't get none of these. So this was like before
[31:07] Speaker 1: October might have been like end of September the last
[31:11] Speaker 1: that was the last my sex, like your birthday, Yeah, yeah,
[31:15] Speaker 1: that was the least of my sex. And so anyways,
[31:17] Speaker 1: we were talking about like just like like when you
[31:19] Speaker 1: start on like just different types of journeys and trying
[31:23] Speaker 1: and trying to just like do different things and shift
[31:26] Speaker 1: your mindset and you feel like you're in a phase
[31:28] Speaker 1: of just like almost like solitude, and it's like this
[31:34] Speaker 1: beautiful thing and you feel the transformations happening, and people
[31:39] Speaker 1: like try to talk it up. But I told him,
[31:40] Speaker 1: I was like, you know what, it's really interesting. I
[31:42] Speaker 1: was like, you're making this sound so beautiful, which it is,
[31:44] Speaker 1: But I said I had a moment last week and
[31:49] Speaker 1: it has still kind of been sticking. And that's what
[31:51] Speaker 1: I had called my sister and told her about it.
[31:52] Speaker 1: In the moment, Kara, I am so lonely, and it
[31:56] Speaker 1: has been so long since I have felt lonely, like
[32:01] Speaker 1: like actually lonely. And it's like and I was the guy,
[32:05] Speaker 1: the friend that I was talking to, he was like, yeah,
[32:07] Speaker 1: he was like, I've been through that. He's not he's
[32:09] Speaker 1: celibate also, and he was like, it's been like like
[32:12] Speaker 1: two years for me. And anyways, I was like, yeah,
[32:15] Speaker 1: it's really interesting. I have this urge to like I
[32:18] Speaker 1: just wanted to be with a man, like not sex,
[32:21] Speaker 1: but just like call somebody and tell them about like
[32:25] Speaker 1: this goal that I just reached or this exciting thing
[32:29] Speaker 1: that just happened. And I didn't, like, for the first
[32:32] Speaker 1: time in a long time, I didn't have anybody to
[32:34] Speaker 1: do that with, and it felt anybody are you.
[32:37] Speaker 3: Mean specifically like man loneliness, like man loneliness, like a
[32:41] Speaker 3: romantic one, just like calling flair And I was I
[32:43] Speaker 3: was talking to my sister.
[32:44] Speaker 1: I was like, man, like, I wish there was just
[32:45] Speaker 1: like a hot line you could call it, not a
[32:47] Speaker 1: sex hotline. But it's like a hot line where you
[32:48] Speaker 1: could call. You get you get like paired up with
[32:50] Speaker 1: a man and you just get to act like it's
[32:52] Speaker 1: your boyfriend. But y'all can't exchange no what Like you
[32:55] Speaker 1: don't get to exchange numbers or anything, and you don't
[32:58] Speaker 1: you don't do that. You just talk like it's your man.
[33:00] Speaker 1: You're like, well, you don't talk to chat and tell
[33:02] Speaker 1: her to be your man. Because they got a voice
[33:04] Speaker 1: on there, and some of them sound good. It might
[33:08] Speaker 1: sound like this would be like a conversation with the person,
[33:10] Speaker 1: and you just get to be like, let me tell
[33:12] Speaker 1: you about this accomplishment that that I did today, like
[33:16] Speaker 1: and you just get to have like that and I
[33:17] Speaker 1: don't have that, And so I have just been like, wow,
[33:21] Speaker 1: this kid, this journey to getting like healed in a
[33:25] Speaker 1: real deep way and like whole if you will. There
[33:29] Speaker 1: are some really lonely patches where you want to like
[33:33] Speaker 1: give in and you want to be like there's a
[33:35] Speaker 1: rapper that slid in my DMS and I did used
[33:37] Speaker 1: to have sex with him and he and I was like,
[33:38] Speaker 1: this is the devil. And then my my frindch chnuggle
[33:41] Speaker 1: be like maybe it's not like you do need furniture,
[33:45] Speaker 1: and I was like, nobody but the devil. He's slit
[33:48] Speaker 1: in my things. And it happened, and he's been doing it,
[33:50] Speaker 1: and I was it's so crazy because he was the
[33:52] Speaker 1: first of me sliding my DMS. I wasn't feeling lonely.
[33:54] Speaker 1: I was like, ain't no way. And then a couple
[33:56] Speaker 1: of days ago he slid in my DMS. He was like,
[34:00] Speaker 1: I'm in Atlanta, like I'm about to pull up and
[34:02] Speaker 1: I was like to wear the airport and I was like, hey,
[34:07] Speaker 1: I was like no. He was like, but I don't
[34:09] Speaker 1: know why you're acting like you don't need a rich
[34:11] Speaker 1: and going your roster like I know you don't got one.
[34:13] Speaker 1: And I was like that would have been enough for me.
[34:17] Speaker 3: I bustled.
[34:17] Speaker 1: I was like, I was about to sing in my address.
[34:19] Speaker 1: I was about be like and I was like, I
[34:21] Speaker 1: don't the only rich niggas no more and he and
[34:23] Speaker 1: he was like, but even just send me the address.
[34:26] Speaker 1: He was like, come on, like we're just gonna go,
[34:27] Speaker 1: and like we're just gonna get some food. And I
[34:29] Speaker 1: know what it's like with him, It's gonna be great time.
[34:31] Speaker 1: It's gonna be a great time. We're gonna go do
[34:33] Speaker 1: the rich nigga shit. It always is. It's always a
[34:35] Speaker 1: great time. And I was just sitting there like, Okay,
[34:40] Speaker 1: what'd you do? Open up your Bible and look at
[34:42] Speaker 1: national teeth or what did you know? I didn't. I
[34:45] Speaker 1: took a screenshot of his message, but in the group chat,
[34:46] Speaker 1: we were all talking go and I was like no,
[34:49] Speaker 1: I was like, this is gonna consist of drugs, alcohol,
[34:52] Speaker 1: a whole entourage. He doesn't really, I was like, I
[34:55] Speaker 1: just sent him. I was like, I just got baptised.
[34:56] Speaker 1: I don't even fun anymore. Like I was like, I
[35:00] Speaker 1: was like do you know that? I'm like, are you
[35:02] Speaker 1: looking at my page? Like what are you looking at?
[35:04] Speaker 1: Like he was like just and I just I didn't go,
[35:06] Speaker 1: but I like everything in me was like, oh I
[35:09] Speaker 1: miss an icy change just hitting me on my just
[35:13] Speaker 1: and I but I didn't go, and I but I didn't.
[35:15] Speaker 1: I didn't go, and I didn't go, and I stuck
[35:18] Speaker 1: to it. But I'm lonely, like and it's it's crazy
[35:21] Speaker 1: because it's like I feel like I'm I feel the
[35:24] Speaker 1: most beautiful that I have ever felt in a very
[35:26] Speaker 1: long time. My body looks amazing without clothes on. I'm
[35:30] Speaker 1: so consistent with working out. My like skin is clear,
[35:34] Speaker 1: hair is healthy, like everything, just like I feel real
[35:37] Speaker 1: good about myself. And then I'm just like, yeah, but
[35:39] Speaker 1: I can't. Some of my girlfriends are going to cant
[35:41] Speaker 1: Coon and I thought about going, and then I was like,
[35:45] Speaker 1: I'm not going, y'all, because I'm trying to I'm just
[35:49] Speaker 1: trying to like stick to what I said.
[35:53] Speaker 3: What does can coon have to do with the celibacy.
[35:56] Speaker 1: Well, it's no, it's gonna it's gonna be a wild
[36:01] Speaker 1: can coon. It's gonna be a wild trip.
[36:03] Speaker 3: And I've only been once and when I went, it
[36:06] Speaker 3: was a bachelorette party, but nobody was being wild. So
[36:08] Speaker 3: I don't know what the can coon life is.
[36:12] Speaker 1: I actually don't either, but I'm not going. And so
[36:14] Speaker 1: I was like, y'all, I'm just not going, and I'm
[36:16] Speaker 1: just not going, Like I don't know why. I feel
[36:17] Speaker 1: like I have to just like right now, just be
[36:19] Speaker 1: locked in and like alone, like I feel like I
[36:22] Speaker 1: have to do that. And it's just an interesting feeling
[36:25] Speaker 1: of not when you feel like you need to uh
[36:30] Speaker 1: what is the word like h fulfill like a I
[36:34] Speaker 1: guess a craving and you actually don't. You're like, you
[36:38] Speaker 1: know what, you know what comes with it. It's just
[36:40] Speaker 1: it's not it's not fun. It's not fun. And so
[36:47] Speaker 1: I'm just like they were like, just go hang out there.
[36:49] Speaker 1: I was like, y'all, the last time I hung out
[36:52] Speaker 1: with him, cocaine was being done.
[36:55] Speaker 3: You know what I mean.
[36:56] Speaker 1: It's like you have to really look a situations and
[36:58] Speaker 1: be like, do you want to change or do you not.
[37:01] Speaker 3: It's good that you stood your ground and you exercised
[37:04] Speaker 3: your discipline because who was stopping you and who.
[37:07] Speaker 1: Was gonna know not me.
[37:10] Speaker 3: I was gonna be sleep I don't be in the
[37:12] Speaker 3: clubs no more because my ass be tired. I just
[37:14] Speaker 3: want to watch my shows on the Netflix or whatever. Yeah,
[37:17] Speaker 3: and you could have gone and yeah, but you would
[37:21] Speaker 3: have known inside like this isn't what I want to do.
[37:23] Speaker 1: I want to make a change. I felt it was
[37:25] Speaker 1: a test. I really felt like it was a test.
[37:27] Speaker 1: The fact that he hit me up three days in
[37:28] Speaker 1: a row and almost got I almost felt then. I
[37:32] Speaker 1: was like, yeah, no, it's gonna be weeping and gnashing
[37:34] Speaker 1: of the teeth. What is gnashing of the teeth in
[37:39] Speaker 1: the Bible it sounds scary. Somebody's about like them silver
[37:44] Speaker 1: cat teeth. It says it's in several parts. It's like
[37:47] Speaker 1: and there'll be weeping and gnashing of the teeth.
[37:50] Speaker 3: I slept through a lot of church. Let's see.
[37:55] Speaker 1: They were there all day of teeth weeping and gnashing
[38:03] Speaker 1: of the teeth. They hiss and that this look like monsters.
[38:06] Speaker 1: This looks like something on front. I've never seen a visual.
[38:10] Speaker 3: Angry or frustrated about something like that. Looks scary, but
[38:13] Speaker 3: it's a phrase. If you say that someone is gnashing
[38:16] Speaker 3: their teeth, I mean they're angry or frustrated about something. Okay, well,
[38:22] Speaker 3: who wants to be angry? Not anyways, Well, I hope
[38:28] Speaker 3: that you continue to stay strong and then maybe when
[38:32] Speaker 3: you feel stronger and like you want to come to
[38:36] Speaker 3: the flesh, you can go out and do some fun things. Yeah.
[38:41] Speaker 3: I wonder what they're gonna be doing, and uh can cool.
[38:45] Speaker 3: They're probably not even gonna be wild, but that's okay,
[38:47] Speaker 3: we're gonna say that they were wild. You need to
[38:49] Speaker 3: be an Arizona getting your paradise and vibe on with
[38:52] Speaker 3: ray and just your vibes. Okay, real quick, I'm gonna
[38:57] Speaker 3: share a short short story for weird sex, and then
[39:01] Speaker 3: we'll touch on a little bit of this topic and
[39:04] Speaker 3: get through the rest. You know, losing weight and improving
[39:08] Speaker 3: your health does not have to be really difficult. Thanks
[39:12] Speaker 3: to Life our X, it has become really easy. They
[39:14] Speaker 3: send me reminders. I don't even have to think about anything.
[39:17] Speaker 3: So last time we were telling you guys about Life
[39:19] Speaker 3: our X, I'll let you know that I had gotten
[39:21] Speaker 3: my prescription and I have been taking the shots and
[39:25] Speaker 3: the pills. It's like a like a B twelve type
[39:28] Speaker 3: of shot, I want to say. And then I don't
[39:30] Speaker 3: know the name of the pill, y'all, but it's working.
[39:32] Speaker 3: I have been shedding weight and I really haven't been
[39:34] Speaker 3: working out. I went to the gym like three times
[39:36] Speaker 3: and that was it.
[39:38] Speaker 1: But you've been in they get to see like the
[39:41] Speaker 1: two versions of it, because y'all know, I have been
[39:43] Speaker 1: working out and eating like incredibly healthy, drinking a lot
[39:46] Speaker 1: of water. And my package finally came in and I
[39:49] Speaker 1: started taking my pills and I also got the B
[39:51] Speaker 1: twelve shot, and I could not be happier. I'm not
[39:55] Speaker 1: gonna lie like I love how act I can see
[39:58] Speaker 1: like the definition certain parts of my body. But I'm
[40:02] Speaker 1: not sure I would be able to see if I
[40:03] Speaker 1: wasn't taking the pill. Like like as I'm working out and
[40:05] Speaker 1: doing the things, but like sometimes it's hard to lose
[40:08] Speaker 1: weight in your face and like it has chiseled out.
[40:11] Speaker 1: Somebody was like, your face does look smaller, and I
[40:14] Speaker 1: love it. And then it was funny because you take
[40:17] Speaker 1: the Beat twelve. Well, I took the Beat twelve shot
[40:19] Speaker 1: every three days. When you talk to your physician, they
[40:22] Speaker 1: will come up with a plan for you, so it
[40:23] Speaker 1: might be different. But I take my Beat twelve shot
[40:25] Speaker 1: every three days. And the first day that I took it,
[40:28] Speaker 1: I went to go train with my trainer and he
[40:29] Speaker 1: was like Medina. He was like, something seems different today,
[40:32] Speaker 1: like you not being a quitter, Like what if you
[40:34] Speaker 1: do differently? And I was like, well, I mean I
[40:35] Speaker 1: don't got nobody's son stressing me out. And then I
[40:37] Speaker 1: was like, oh no, I took I took a BET
[40:39] Speaker 1: twelve shot and he was like and it just helped
[40:41] Speaker 1: me perform better. Yeah, I love it. Like I'm just like, eh,
[40:47] Speaker 1: I love it too. It actually does give me a
[40:49] Speaker 1: bit of energy.
[40:51] Speaker 3: And they told me that that could happen because they
[40:53] Speaker 3: did ask like, are you really sensitive to stimulants of
[40:56] Speaker 3: any kind? And I was like, no, I love a
[40:58] Speaker 3: little stimulation, but you know, stop playing in this doctor's appointment.
[41:01] Speaker 1: Anyway, I like it. It gives me energy.
[41:04] Speaker 3: That's how I ended up going to the gym in
[41:06] Speaker 3: the first place, because I had been taking.
[41:07] Speaker 1: The stuff and I was like, I feel like I
[41:08] Speaker 1: got extra energy in the morning.
[41:10] Speaker 3: When I wake up, you know, I'll be tired sometimes,
[41:12] Speaker 3: so it was good to go. Anyway, enough about us,
[41:16] Speaker 3: We want you, guys to improve your health. Whether you
[41:18] Speaker 3: are looking to lose weight, gain weight, maybe you're losing
[41:23] Speaker 3: your hair.
[41:24] Speaker 1: They don't it's not just weight loss.
[41:26] Speaker 3: They do so many different things to help you get
[41:29] Speaker 3: a grasp on your health. So for all of our listeners,
[41:31] Speaker 3: we've got a special offer. Visit life RX dot n
[41:36] Speaker 3: m D and use our code cocktails at c O
[41:39] Speaker 3: c k T a l e S at checkout and
[41:42] Speaker 3: you will get fifty dollars off your first month to
[41:44] Speaker 3: get started today. That's l I F E r X
[41:48] Speaker 3: m D dot com and use our code cocktails c
[41:53] Speaker 3: O c K T A l e S to start
[41:55] Speaker 3: your journey to a healthier you with support that actually works.
[41:59] Speaker 1: The link is in the episode description. You said a
[42:03] Speaker 1: man is not a necessity. A man is a luxury
[42:06] Speaker 1: like dessert.
[42:08] Speaker 4: Yeah, a man is absolutely not necessity.
[42:11] Speaker 1: Did you mean that to sound mean it bitter?
[42:15] Speaker 3: Oh not at all.
[42:17] Speaker 1: I adore dessert. I love man.
[42:19] Speaker 3: I think men are the coolest, but you don't really
[42:21] Speaker 3: need them to live.
[42:25] Speaker 1: All right. So this story.
[42:29] Speaker 3: Is about somebody who got you guessed it hurt so
[42:34] Speaker 3: after doing the this is somebody wrote this I saw,
[42:37] Speaker 3: I don't read it. They said, after doing the deed,
[42:40] Speaker 3: I had a massive headache that was like a bomb
[42:42] Speaker 3: going off in my head. I don't know if you
[42:45] Speaker 3: guys have ever had a really bad headache where it's
[42:48] Speaker 3: just like pounding and it won't go away. So I
[42:52] Speaker 3: could only imagine anyway. He says that his wife rushed
[42:56] Speaker 3: him to the er, I thinking he had a busted
[42:58] Speaker 3: brain vessel and was having a stroke. The er basically
[43:02] Speaker 3: says it happens a lot. They just kept him on
[43:06] Speaker 3: observation and let him go when he could see straight again.
[43:09] Speaker 3: It never happened again. It's called a thunderclap headache.
[43:12] Speaker 1: So what happened?
[43:13] Speaker 3: I skip part of it? So what happened was he
[43:15] Speaker 3: was getting hit and it felt so good. His wife
[43:17] Speaker 3: was really going to town. It felt so good that
[43:21] Speaker 3: he ended up having a headache from it, And so
[43:24] Speaker 3: the doctors call it a thunderclap headache. And it's a sudden,
[43:27] Speaker 3: intense headache, sometimes triggered by an orgasm or some other
[43:31] Speaker 3: sexual activity. It's rare, but it happens more often than
[43:34] Speaker 3: you probably think. And this guy was brought to the
[43:39] Speaker 3: er thinking he'd bust a blood.
[43:41] Speaker 1: Vessel, but he walked away with just a little story,
[43:43] Speaker 1: so he's all right.
[43:45] Speaker 3: But I wanted you to know, back when you were
[43:48] Speaker 3: having sex, did you ever have sex that was just
[43:51] Speaker 3: so intense and it felt good in the moment, but
[43:53] Speaker 3: maybe it hurt afterwards or you thought you would have to.
[43:56] Speaker 1: Call NOWE one one. I never thought I was gonna
[44:00] Speaker 1: have to call that on one, except for that time
[44:02] Speaker 1: when them when we couldn't get it out, but then
[44:05] Speaker 1: we got it out. But that was the only time.
[44:08] Speaker 1: You know, It's really interesting. Like I was telling you earlier,
[44:11] Speaker 1: I have a high tolerance for pain, and that's why
[44:15] Speaker 1: I enjoy pain. I mean, or does it not affect you?
[44:19] Speaker 3: Because sometimes I be wondering when people say they have
[44:21] Speaker 3: a high talents from pain, I'm like, you just push.
[44:23] Speaker 1: Through or you like the shit if you don't feel it.
[44:27] Speaker 1: I think it's just like a push through because like
[44:29] Speaker 1: with my back, it's like it's just not like a
[44:31] Speaker 1: I feel like if anybody else is feeling the pain,
[44:33] Speaker 1: they would be like, oh no, like day one, I'm
[44:36] Speaker 1: going I'm more like, he ain't that bad, Like let's
[44:38] Speaker 1: just see, it's probably gonna go away, like I really
[44:40] Speaker 1: don't know. But so it transfers into sex also, and
[44:44] Speaker 1: sometimes it's like it hurts me, don't hurt that bad,
[44:47] Speaker 1: Like I want everybody to feel good doing this. So
[44:50] Speaker 1: I never feel like I was going to go to
[44:51] Speaker 1: the hospital, but I definitely was like, dang, something might
[44:54] Speaker 1: be broke.
[44:55] Speaker 3: Yeah, I've definitely hurt myself a few times. The first
[44:58] Speaker 3: time I realized I had side there's a sex injury.
[45:02] Speaker 3: And I should have known from then. I just need
[45:04] Speaker 3: to sit my feeble ass, sharp shooting pain down your
[45:12] Speaker 3: back all the way down your leg to your foot.
[45:16] Speaker 3: It doesn't always go down to my foot, but that
[45:18] Speaker 3: is like what it is because it's like a pinch
[45:21] Speaker 3: nerve essentially, how you get rid of it. I went
[45:28] Speaker 3: to the chiropractor. You you should stretch and you should
[45:32] Speaker 3: move more, and that'll do it. Sometimes I think people
[45:35] Speaker 3: have to get them shots and their spines. I don't
[45:37] Speaker 3: want to do all that. I'm just going to see
[45:39] Speaker 3: the chiropractor. And it happens a lot. Like when people
[45:44] Speaker 3: say they throw out their back, A lot of times,
[45:46] Speaker 3: that's what it was. It wouldn't be up, it goes
[45:50] Speaker 3: down because it's like back here. Yeah, that is not
[45:54] Speaker 3: a good feeling. Last flare up I had, I was
[45:58] Speaker 3: literally laying on the floor like is this how I'm going?
[46:00] Speaker 3: And who's gonna come in here? Because I thought my
[46:03] Speaker 3: door was locked, and I thought I had it locked
[46:05] Speaker 3: with the lock that's only on the inside. So it's like,
[46:07] Speaker 3: can't nobody even get up in here?
[46:09] Speaker 1: What am I gonna do? And I'm alone? Then I
[46:12] Speaker 1: got a dog, but she can't do shit.
[46:14] Speaker 3: She can't call nobody.
[46:15] Speaker 1: Else you can do is bark.
[46:16] Speaker 3: Anyways, y'all, let me know if y'all have gotten hurt
[46:19] Speaker 3: or what's something crazy? A crazy situation where you either
[46:22] Speaker 3: ended up at the hospital or you thought you were
[46:24] Speaker 3: going to go to the hospital, or the person or
[46:26] Speaker 3: people who were having sex with Whent to the hospital.
[46:28] Speaker 1: Please exclude all of your diseases.
[46:30] Speaker 3: That's not the kind of stories I want to hear about,
[46:33] Speaker 3: unless there's something funny to it.
[46:34] Speaker 1: Anyway, that's it for where sex keep sending me the stories.
[46:38] Speaker 3: I really appreciate them, all right. So this week we
[46:43] Speaker 3: got a few different things to talk about, but not
[46:46] Speaker 3: a whole lot of time.
[46:49] Speaker 1: Yes, I keep I thought about it when.
[46:52] Speaker 3: You were talking about miles on wheels and like the
[46:55] Speaker 3: old people being alone, and then you're talking I'm so lonely.
[46:57] Speaker 1: I'm so lonely, And.
[47:00] Speaker 3: It's been on my mind a lot since I left Louisiana.
[47:04] Speaker 3: My grandmother had written this letter. I think I told
[47:06] Speaker 3: you all that already. That was in the program, and
[47:09] Speaker 3: it was a letter to my grandfather. I'm gonna read
[47:12] Speaker 3: just a short piece of it. But I had sent
[47:15] Speaker 3: it to Medina prior. Yeah, and it made me cry
[47:20] Speaker 3: for several reasons. But it made me think, like we
[47:27] Speaker 3: say it in jest all the time, but it's like,
[47:30] Speaker 3: will we ever see like a forever love like that?
[47:34] Speaker 3: So this is what this is a piece of what
[47:36] Speaker 3: she said. So she says in her letter to him,
[47:41] Speaker 3: we promised we would never leave each other. And I
[47:43] Speaker 3: believe with all my heart that the love we shared
[47:46] Speaker 3: will carry me through. You took part of me with you,
[47:50] Speaker 3: when that will never return and can never be replaced.
[47:53] Speaker 3: Through it all, we loved one another deeply and completely,
[47:58] Speaker 3: and I believe that because even when they were bickering
[48:01] Speaker 3: and annoyed with each other and all of that, or
[48:04] Speaker 3: angry at each other, they always found a way to
[48:06] Speaker 3: come back. They were very big on family and all
[48:09] Speaker 3: these things. And it's just like together they had this
[48:13] Speaker 3: vision of what they wanted for their family and what
[48:16] Speaker 3: they wanted for their lives. And I often forget like
[48:19] Speaker 3: outside of being parents or grandparents, they were in a
[48:26] Speaker 3: romantic relationship, like that's that's how parents go, Yes.
[48:34] Speaker 1: Forever. And it's like, how long was their marriage?
[48:38] Speaker 3: They would have been married sixty years this year, I think.
[48:43] Speaker 1: It is, but together obviously longer.
[48:45] Speaker 3: Yeah, together longer. And they've known each other their entire lives.
[48:49] Speaker 3: When I tell you, they grew up essentially across the
[48:51] Speaker 3: street from each other, like catacorner across the street from
[48:54] Speaker 3: each other in the town we're all from. They went
[48:57] Speaker 3: to school together where then graduated valedictorian saludatorian. They go
[49:02] Speaker 3: to college together, they got married, she did tell me
[49:05] Speaker 3: because she was pregnant with my uncle. And then they
[49:07] Speaker 3: had all these kids and they built this big ass
[49:10] Speaker 3: family and just have had this life. And so it's like,
[49:14] Speaker 3: she's eighty one. Well, Shell, yeah, she's eighty one now,
[49:18] Speaker 3: he was eighty one. But to basically know somebody almost
[49:22] Speaker 3: eighty years and then you wake up one day and
[49:25] Speaker 3: they're gone, but you still have that love. One of
[49:28] Speaker 3: her friends had said, or somebody was like, oh, well,
[49:30] Speaker 3: you can live a whole new lifestyle. She got upset
[49:34] Speaker 3: and she was like, a new lifestyle. I would never
[49:36] Speaker 3: do that. I wouldn't disrespect my husband and I wouldn't
[49:38] Speaker 3: disrespect my family. And I was like, girl, I.
[49:40] Speaker 1: Won't feel disrespect.
[49:42] Speaker 3: You're eighty one. You can do what you want. But
[49:44] Speaker 3: it's like to still feel like I don't even want
[49:47] Speaker 3: anybody else because I have my love and I miss him,
[49:52] Speaker 3: but I don't want to replace that. I'm not interested
[49:55] Speaker 3: in that. There's other things I can do. I just
[49:58] Speaker 3: wonder if people want that one.
[50:02] Speaker 1: Because that's a big part of it. Do you even
[50:04] Speaker 1: want it? Do you want it? I want it? I
[50:09] Speaker 1: do want it. And I feel like I'm built for it,
[50:11] Speaker 1: but I don't know if it's enough people out here
[50:18] Speaker 1: that want it or built for It's like I look
[50:20] Speaker 1: at like the times now and it's like some of
[50:24] Speaker 1: what is being like said and talked about and relationships ending,
[50:31] Speaker 1: like reasons why relationships are ending or why some of
[50:34] Speaker 1: it is just so ridiculous. And I have probably even
[50:39] Speaker 1: said some of the things in very early episodes.
[50:42] Speaker 3: And I don't know the same girls we were Damn, you're.
[50:45] Speaker 1: Ten years old. Yeah, I think that, and I think
[50:48] Speaker 1: I say this all the time, like in the vowels
[50:50] Speaker 1: that people say. It's like people say that for better
[50:51] Speaker 1: or for worse, and then all of a sudden, the
[50:53] Speaker 1: worst happens and you totally forget that you said for
[50:55] Speaker 1: better or for worse, and it just doesn't matter anymore.
[50:58] Speaker 1: And so I don't know. He I definitely believe in
[51:02] Speaker 1: it and I want it, but I don't know exists.
[51:07] Speaker 1: I think it does. I just don't know if it
[51:09] Speaker 1: will make its way to me, like I hope that
[51:11] Speaker 1: it does. Like even in my with my last relationship,
[51:16] Speaker 1: there were things that like we went through it made
[51:19] Speaker 1: me realize like how much I have to be with
[51:21] Speaker 1: somebody who is compassionate and like not so now that
[51:26] Speaker 1: I'm finally coming out of like the depressing part of
[51:28] Speaker 1: a breakup and looking back at like certain things that
[51:30] Speaker 1: happened and like being able to see them like I was,
[51:33] Speaker 1: he was kind of like a robot almost, if you will,
[51:36] Speaker 1: Like the way that he just was with emotions and
[51:38] Speaker 1: within a relationship and everything was so like it was
[51:43] Speaker 1: just very robata robotic. Yeah, like if it's not like this,
[51:48] Speaker 1: then we can. We were talking about having kids and
[51:51] Speaker 1: he was, well, if you don't have one hundred thousand
[51:52] Speaker 1: dollars saved for children, like I don't think that, like
[51:56] Speaker 1: that's smart to even think about having it. I was
[51:59] Speaker 1: even shocked. I was like, wait, what do you should have?
[52:05] Speaker 3: He was saying this as if you should have one
[52:08] Speaker 3: hundred thousand as an individual.
[52:09] Speaker 1: As an individual, even though we're having kids together, since
[52:12] Speaker 1: you want kids, you should have that. Because he hit
[52:15] Speaker 1: I mean, and I'm not even saying it's right or wrong.
[52:17] Speaker 1: I'm just saying I don't have that. So I don't
[52:19] Speaker 1: know what to tell you. He was like, I started
[52:21] Speaker 1: saving for children in college, and so like there's this
[52:24] Speaker 1: like the strategic way that I want to do that.
[52:26] Speaker 1: It was just very like it wasn't like life, Like
[52:29] Speaker 1: I get that that's what you're doing, but it's.
[52:31] Speaker 3: Like you have goals, but things don't always work out
[52:34] Speaker 3: that way.
[52:36] Speaker 1: You you were born into a very poor family, Like
[52:39] Speaker 1: I mean, it's a trauma thing.
[52:41] Speaker 3: Yeah, you're so afraid of being like that that you're like,
[52:46] Speaker 3: there's no way, I want to do everything that I
[52:48] Speaker 3: can in my power. I think a lot of things
[52:51] Speaker 3: that we do that are weird.
[52:52] Speaker 1: I know for me it is.
[52:54] Speaker 3: All trauma responses, hyper independence, too many damn rules.
[53:00] Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, so but but after being in that relationship
[53:04] Speaker 1: and then how vulnerable I guess i'll just say I was,
[53:07] Speaker 1: and how honest I was, and how like willing I
[53:09] Speaker 1: am to like like that Nigga wasn't perfect. Like it
[53:12] Speaker 1: was a lot that camera was like, oh, man, like, well,
[53:14] Speaker 1: this is what we said we were gonna do, This
[53:15] Speaker 1: is what we said we were moving forward to, and
[53:17] Speaker 1: then like to see how it ended and like some
[53:19] Speaker 1: of the things that were said and the reasoning behind it,
[53:22] Speaker 1: it was like oh wow, Like the men are talking
[53:26] Speaker 1: like and even some women it's like there's these there
[53:28] Speaker 1: are these very like surface level reasons that will have
[53:33] Speaker 1: people being like net yeah, never mind, I love you,
[53:35] Speaker 1: but never mind. And so that's why it's like, I
[53:37] Speaker 1: don't I really think that like my spirit and the
[53:40] Speaker 1: way that I love was supposed to be in a
[53:42] Speaker 1: different time period. What time period do you think? Probably
[53:47] Speaker 1: like maybe like the sixties. I think I'm in like
[53:53] Speaker 1: the sixties, seventies, Like where do you think you would
[53:55] Speaker 1: have lived?
[53:56] Speaker 3: I have recently become my latest obsession is time loopse
[54:01] Speaker 3: and people getting into parallel universes. I'm pretty sure I
[54:04] Speaker 3: said this already, but I don't remember if y'all have
[54:07] Speaker 3: not seen Caddo Lake. That is my favorite movie about
[54:14] Speaker 3: time loops and like the I don't know what all
[54:17] Speaker 3: the words is called. One of you fellow nerves help
[54:20] Speaker 3: us is stout?
[54:21] Speaker 1: It's like time loops and something about paradise.
[54:23] Speaker 3: Anyways, these people stuck in the swamps somewhere East Texas,
[54:29] Speaker 3: North Louisiana, right near Katto Lake, and they're all linked.
[54:33] Speaker 1: I won't give it away, but they're all linked.
[54:35] Speaker 3: The movie is available on Max and they go through
[54:38] Speaker 3: different time periods and there's a love story in there,
[54:41] Speaker 3: like somebody thinks that their dad just ran away. Somebody
[54:44] Speaker 3: thinks that their husband just ran away. Somebody thinks that
[54:47] Speaker 3: their mom left them. And then when you find that
[54:51] Speaker 3: and there's more people who think things, but when you
[54:53] Speaker 3: find out what happens, it's just interesting. Anyway, So sixties
[54:56] Speaker 3: or the seventies.
[54:58] Speaker 1: Where would you have lived for some reason? I think
[55:01] Speaker 1: either Alabama, South Carolina, or maybe even New York or Maine.
[55:07] Speaker 3: Those are very different. They're also doing South Carolina and
[55:10] Speaker 3: Alabama similar enough Missus Soul in the sixteen seventies.
[55:15] Speaker 1: But North Carolina and Maine. Yeah, I would have been,
[55:18] Speaker 1: but I said, but forever love. I'm one of the
[55:21] Speaker 1: people where it's like it's not much and my mom
[55:24] Speaker 1: and my sister gets so mad because they're just like
[55:26] Speaker 1: you should have been. But there when we say certain things,
[55:29] Speaker 1: I'm gonna ride it out to them, like it's like
[55:32] Speaker 1: I understand much what. There's not much that I won't
[55:35] Speaker 1: that I can't work through. There's not if I say
[55:37] Speaker 1: I love you, and this is what we say, we're
[55:39] Speaker 1: doing and we have gotten to the point where it's
[55:41] Speaker 1: like I want to marry you. I'm not one of
[55:43] Speaker 1: those people where I look at the person it's like
[55:45] Speaker 1: I know there's gonna be some rough stuff that happens.
[55:48] Speaker 1: Like I won't say I'm prepared for it, but I
[55:52] Speaker 1: I know it, Like it's not there's not a lot
[55:54] Speaker 1: that somebody can do to me where I'm just like
[55:57] Speaker 1: leave me alone forever. There is just not a lot.
[56:00] Speaker 1: And it's like a gift and a curse, and mostly
[56:02] Speaker 1: a curse because now you're just getting you just and
[56:06] Speaker 1: then they don't do that, it doesn't reciprocate, and now
[56:09] Speaker 1: it's like so it's like to a choire sister girl, Yeah,
[56:12] Speaker 1: it's like if we say we love each other, what
[56:18] Speaker 1: we should be together, And it's like if abuse isn't happening,
[56:21] Speaker 1: obviously y'all take the extremes out of it. But it's
[56:24] Speaker 1: just like I don't know how you say you love somebody,
[56:26] Speaker 1: especially you get married to somebody and then like you
[56:29] Speaker 1: just get annoyed and you're just like, yeah, I don't
[56:31] Speaker 1: want to be I just don't love you anymore. I
[56:32] Speaker 1: don't understand that, Like, how does that happen? How do
[56:35] Speaker 1: you not know how to compromise? How do you not
[56:37] Speaker 1: know how to figure it out? So I don't know.
[56:41] Speaker 3: Sometimes I think that when you can't compromise in a relationship.
[56:48] Speaker 3: With romantic relationships, it's a lot of fear m hm,
[56:54] Speaker 3: because maybe you're doing something that's so out of your
[56:57] Speaker 3: personal norm and you get scared. You don't know how
[57:02] Speaker 3: it's going to be, and instead of like testing the
[57:06] Speaker 3: waters and seeing what happens, you would rather run. What
[57:10] Speaker 3: is it called, it's one of those attachedment sulf maybe
[57:14] Speaker 3: a fearful avoidant. Yeah, you avoid certain things. And for
[57:21] Speaker 3: a long time, I've never been great with talking about
[57:25] Speaker 3: my emotions. I try to, but usually when it's like
[57:27] Speaker 3: very hot and cold with me with a lot of
[57:32] Speaker 3: things right, And I was talking to someone about it
[57:36] Speaker 3: and I was like, you know, I want to get
[57:37] Speaker 3: better at it.
[57:37] Speaker 1: It's just such an uncomfortable thing.
[57:39] Speaker 3: And I feel like a real crazy person, not just
[57:42] Speaker 3: a little bit crazy like I do normally.
[57:44] Speaker 1: And it's just hard.
[57:45] Speaker 3: And it's like you realize the things that you weren't
[57:48] Speaker 3: taught and but that's that's your life. Everybody has good
[57:54] Speaker 3: things and bad things from their past. But when you
[57:56] Speaker 3: realize that you want to make a change, you have
[57:57] Speaker 3: to make a conscious effort. And most of the times,
[58:00] Speaker 3: with many changes, I can't think of a change that
[58:02] Speaker 3: does not come without being uncomfortable. It's like the growing pains,
[58:08] Speaker 3: you know, and you just kind of have to push
[58:10] Speaker 3: through it. I don't like, especially in romantic relationships, and
[58:14] Speaker 3: I know this is a trauma response. I don't like
[58:19] Speaker 3: being very vulnerable and not being met with the same thing,
[58:24] Speaker 3: or feeling like the other person is gaslighting me. Once
[58:29] Speaker 3: I let out how I feel and I have done this,
[58:31] Speaker 3: you dismiss it or you don't do anything about it.
[58:34] Speaker 3: So sometimes it's easier not to deal with it at all.
[58:38] Speaker 3: But that's not good because it gets us nowhere. But
[58:42] Speaker 3: to the point of the Forever Loves, I would hope
[58:45] Speaker 3: that it would be there, and in recent times I
[58:49] Speaker 3: have really been and this is in any relationship, romantic, friends, family,
[58:54] Speaker 3: because I have a hard time letting go of anything.
[58:58] Speaker 3: I'm saying. I wanted to quit my job about ten years. Yeah,
[59:02] Speaker 3: I literally have been there ten years and I even
[59:04] Speaker 3: realized it and then I.
[59:05] Speaker 1: Got mad because why the fuck?
[59:08] Speaker 3: Anyway, again, please make sure y'all go check out xomm
[59:10] Speaker 3: podcast too, because.
[59:11] Speaker 1: I'm ready to go.
[59:15] Speaker 3: But AnyWho, I have a hard time of letting go
[59:17] Speaker 3: of things, and I've got to get better with that.
[59:20] Speaker 3: There was a point I think I forgot it. Damn
[59:24] Speaker 3: I need to leave that. Okay, So it's got me frustrated.
[59:27] Speaker 3: Oh forever loves. I would hope that there is one.
[59:31] Speaker 1: But something that I've.
[59:32] Speaker 3: Been considering is like, in all of the different relationships,
[59:38] Speaker 3: how do these people treat you and how do you
[59:42] Speaker 3: treat them? And when an issue does arise, who is running?
[59:50] Speaker 3: I'm not even gonna get mad if you run, because
[59:53] Speaker 3: sometimes I run, but I will come back sometimes I
[59:55] Speaker 3: need a moment, right, but I can come back. If
[59:58] Speaker 3: you never come back, if you run away and you're gone, okay,
[1:00:00] Speaker 3: I can see that that's how you operate. If it's too.
[1:00:05] Speaker 1: Much about you, you can't even hear me.
[1:00:07] Speaker 3: It's just like a lot of things that I've been
[1:00:09] Speaker 3: thinking about in every relationship, about who I want to
[1:00:15] Speaker 3: keep around and who I want to let go of,
[1:00:18] Speaker 3: and I'm trying to do better. And I was like,
[1:00:19] Speaker 3: you know, maybe if I surround myself with people who
[1:00:24] Speaker 3: I like how they handle things, because I'm okay now
[1:00:28] Speaker 3: with some uncomfortability. I mean, it never feels good in
[1:00:31] Speaker 3: the moment, but I'm okay with it. But if I
[1:00:34] Speaker 3: just feel like what am I trying to say. It's
[1:00:38] Speaker 3: like if I feel like you would never try to
[1:00:40] Speaker 3: work something out, or you could never be understanding or
[1:00:43] Speaker 3: just never like I understand moments in time you need
[1:00:46] Speaker 3: some space whatever, that's cool, But when you can't and
[1:00:49] Speaker 3: you are just so hard on I'm drawing a line
[1:00:53] Speaker 3: and I'm done without listening or trying to have any
[1:00:58] Speaker 3: understanding or empathy. Maybe that I always get them mixed
[1:01:01] Speaker 3: up empathy, especially when.
[1:01:02] Speaker 1: It's like a relationship where you y'all like it was
[1:01:05] Speaker 1: like a love it you said you loved the person
[1:01:07] Speaker 1: that doesn't. That just doesn't make sense. I don't know how.
[1:01:10] Speaker 1: I don't understand how that works. Like I don't know
[1:01:14] Speaker 1: how you say you love somebody and then you can
[1:01:15] Speaker 1: just be like and now fuck you.
[1:01:19] Speaker 3: Yeah, it's yeah, I don't. I don't get it either,
[1:01:25] Speaker 3: unless it's some extreme involved like where somebody was really
[1:01:28] Speaker 3: doing something trifling, because I do get it, then i'd
[1:01:32] Speaker 3: be like, said it.
[1:01:34] Speaker 1: Hmmm, I don't know it's I hope I get the
[1:01:38] Speaker 1: forever love, but I don't think I can get it
[1:01:40] Speaker 1: if I this little break that I'm taking, who had
[1:01:43] Speaker 1: to take it? Because I really am just like I
[1:01:46] Speaker 1: don't I clearly don't know anything, because what what do
[1:01:49] Speaker 1: you mean? You don't know anything? I don't know anything.
[1:01:52] Speaker 1: We did all the things. It's like you look sometimes
[1:01:54] Speaker 1: you look at like the toxic man and you're like,
[1:01:56] Speaker 1: that's clearly not gonna work, and then you look at
[1:01:57] Speaker 1: the men where it's like, Okay, everything's together. We did
[1:02:00] Speaker 1: all the things the right way. We communicated what I
[1:02:04] Speaker 1: thought was communicating therapy, uh, you know, under trying to understand,
[1:02:12] Speaker 1: forgiving certain things, talking about the stuff, and.
[1:02:16] Speaker 3: You in the end or after, did you ever feel
[1:02:20] Speaker 3: like as you were going through all those things and
[1:02:21] Speaker 3: you look back, it's like maybe I was the one
[1:02:23] Speaker 3: doing that and it was one side.
[1:02:26] Speaker 1: All the things that you just listed.
[1:02:27] Speaker 3: I mean, I'm you are both going but like going
[1:02:30] Speaker 3: to therapy and like actually trying, actually forgiving, well actually caring.
[1:02:35] Speaker 1: It's funny that you said, because now I look back,
[1:02:38] Speaker 1: you just be so I am just I got it.
[1:02:40] Speaker 1: I'm I believe you. So I believe you, like if
[1:02:44] Speaker 1: someone is like I love you, we're gonna be together
[1:02:45] Speaker 1: for and that's how we feel like I believe you
[1:02:48] Speaker 1: like I believed him, and so I me and my
[1:02:51] Speaker 1: sister that we were talking to literally the other night
[1:02:53] Speaker 1: because now I'm coming out of it in some of
[1:02:55] Speaker 1: the glazeses leaving my eyes, and I'm just like we
[1:03:00] Speaker 1: was in therapy for years. It is like, hmm, that
[1:03:04] Speaker 1: maybe was I look at it now, like were you
[1:03:07] Speaker 1: trying to convince yourself and talk yourself into like wanting
[1:03:14] Speaker 1: to be what we were saying we wanted God because
[1:03:18] Speaker 1: I wasn't doing I wasn't talking myself into it. Therapy
[1:03:21] Speaker 1: was his idea. Like it wasn't like a I was like,
[1:03:23] Speaker 1: let's do therapy. It was like his it was his idea.
[1:03:26] Speaker 1: And this was like going on for a year, and
[1:03:27] Speaker 1: it was. But it also like now that I look
[1:03:29] Speaker 1: back at and it's like, yeah, but you never could
[1:03:31] Speaker 1: admit what you were wrong. You never could really apologize
[1:03:35] Speaker 1: in a calm manner. He wasn't like he didn't do
[1:03:37] Speaker 1: it in like a crazy way that sometimes you see
[1:03:40] Speaker 1: the like toxic men do. It was very like digestible.
[1:03:45] Speaker 3: That's how it usually it's real life, not a movie.
[1:03:48] Speaker 1: Yeah, it was like, I mean, there were just some
[1:03:51] Speaker 1: now that I look back and I was like I
[1:03:52] Speaker 1: was with somebody who like every moment I was like
[1:03:57] Speaker 1: talking him up and like just really out of him,
[1:04:00] Speaker 1: and I still don't. I don't say that with any regret.
[1:04:03] Speaker 1: I really don't. I was really proud of my boyfriend,
[1:04:06] Speaker 1: and now when I look back at it, it's like
[1:04:09] Speaker 1: I didn't get that same I didn't get the same feedback,
[1:04:13] Speaker 1: you know what I mean. It wasn't reciprocated. It was
[1:04:15] Speaker 1: like you liked the trimmings of me, and you were
[1:04:19] Speaker 1: trying to convince yourself that you wanted them forever, the
[1:04:24] Speaker 1: idea of when you really didn't and when you really didn't.
[1:04:28] Speaker 1: And I don't even think he would admit that, but
[1:04:29] Speaker 1: that's just that's just that is what it was. And
[1:04:33] Speaker 1: it just sucks like I was with somebody who was
[1:04:36] Speaker 1: really mean, but he just said it nicely. But when
[1:04:38] Speaker 1: I look back at it, and I was like, nice, nasty,
[1:04:40] Speaker 1: if we will it. We were in therapy one time
[1:04:43] Speaker 1: and the therapist was even like, he said, I just
[1:04:46] Speaker 1: feel like I'm not getting a return on my investment.
[1:04:49] Speaker 1: Excuse me, straight face, calm And were you were there too.
[1:04:53] Speaker 1: We were both in the session. I'm crying and I'm
[1:04:56] Speaker 1: just like and the therapist was like, what did you
[1:05:01] Speaker 1: just say? He repeats it. I just feel like I'm
[1:05:04] Speaker 1: not getting a return on my investment. She said, this
[1:05:06] Speaker 1: is a human being.
[1:05:07] Speaker 3: What was the return he thought he was gonna get.
[1:05:10] Speaker 1: I'm not actually sure. I'm not. I'm i am not
[1:05:13] Speaker 1: actually to this day, we were sitting in a therapy.
[1:05:15] Speaker 1: I'm crying. It's not running down my nose because I
[1:05:17] Speaker 1: just felt like, yeah, it was a cry, damn. And
[1:05:21] Speaker 1: the therapist was like, that's a human, Like, do you
[1:05:25] Speaker 1: understand that's a human returning like it's a house. Yeah,
[1:05:28] Speaker 1: And he just said it's so straight faced. Collect Now
[1:05:32] Speaker 1: all my friends and stuff are like he's a psychopath,
[1:05:33] Speaker 1: like something's wrong with him, and I'm just like, I
[1:05:36] Speaker 1: don't know. But he got me for your memoir.
[1:05:39] Speaker 3: You make a buck off of that, Okay.
[1:05:42] Speaker 1: I want to believe in the forever. I still believe
[1:05:44] Speaker 1: in the forever, but I don't have another heartbreak in me.
[1:05:45] Speaker 1: So if the next nigga ain't the forever, it's a rap.
[1:05:48] Speaker 1: I can't do this because these niggas folks thought I
[1:05:52] Speaker 1: was on Olympic. It didn't start with that. I was
[1:05:54] Speaker 1: just heartbroken. Damn.
[1:05:56] Speaker 3: I'd be wishing and maybe I shouldn't wish this and
[1:05:59] Speaker 3: I'm not trying to make light of it.
[1:06:01] Speaker 1: But sometimes when.
[1:06:02] Speaker 3: People like you be saying that, Oh, I was just heartbroken,
[1:06:07] Speaker 3: so I.
[1:06:07] Speaker 1: Wouldn't eat for a week and a day.
[1:06:10] Speaker 3: And I wasn't using like I should be onna save
[1:06:13] Speaker 3: the children commercial after about five or six hours before
[1:06:16] Speaker 3: life are x and I would just be like.
[1:06:18] Speaker 1: Oh, I'm so hungry, I just want some chicken wings.
[1:06:20] Speaker 1: But I was not hungry.
[1:06:21] Speaker 3: I was fucking thirsty. I should have been drinking more water.
[1:06:24] Speaker 3: I mean, I just food.
[1:06:26] Speaker 1: I've got that eating demon in me. I do.
[1:06:29] Speaker 3: I'm surprised I don't have the sugar, but I don't.
[1:06:32] Speaker 3: I'm saved my a one C's is right. Well, I
[1:06:36] Speaker 3: hope that we find it one day. I'm wondering, like,
[1:06:42] Speaker 3: what are And I've always wondered this. What are the
[1:06:46] Speaker 3: little things?
[1:06:48] Speaker 1: Like?
[1:06:48] Speaker 3: You know how we can list off things that we want,
[1:06:50] Speaker 3: big things, height, appearance, physical attraction. You want to have
[1:06:56] Speaker 3: a good job, you wanna have a good family, Oh
[1:06:58] Speaker 3: those things? What are the little things that will make
[1:07:01] Speaker 3: or break some shit? You know?
[1:07:04] Speaker 1: And I'll be.
[1:07:04] Speaker 3: Thinking about it, and I who's talk? I was talking
[1:07:08] Speaker 3: to my grandma. They didn't really go too far. I
[1:07:11] Speaker 3: don't think she understood what I was saying. I understand
[1:07:13] Speaker 3: what she was saying. She don't be putting her hearing aids,
[1:07:15] Speaker 3: and she's quite frustrating. And then I was talking to
[1:07:19] Speaker 3: my mom and she was like, well, I don't know.
[1:07:22] Speaker 3: I can tell you the mistakes I made. But I
[1:07:25] Speaker 3: asked several women, and so many people didn't really have
[1:07:30] Speaker 3: an answer, right, They're like.
[1:07:32] Speaker 1: I don't know.
[1:07:32] Speaker 3: But I asked to my friends and they're like, you
[1:07:35] Speaker 3: know what, when you are seeing somebody, pay close attention
[1:07:43] Speaker 3: to the things that they say to you and how
[1:07:45] Speaker 3: they treat you, which I've heard before. When you get
[1:07:49] Speaker 3: mad at each other, are they going for lobos? Are
[1:07:52] Speaker 3: they poking at insecurey what are they doing?
[1:07:55] Speaker 1: Watch that?
[1:07:57] Speaker 3: If it's that and they are hidden below the belt
[1:08:00] Speaker 3: and they're doing these things and they come back and apologize,
[1:08:03] Speaker 3: leave it alone. You want somebody who wouldn't handle it
[1:08:08] Speaker 3: like that and has a better control of emotion, because
[1:08:11] Speaker 3: that's what they equated it to. And they were like, so,
[1:08:13] Speaker 3: if somebody has a better control of their emotions and
[1:08:15] Speaker 3: can be considered of yours, that's something that we'll carry
[1:08:19] Speaker 3: through no matter what the mood is. And so maybe
[1:08:22] Speaker 3: that's a little thing you could look out for. And
[1:08:23] Speaker 3: I was like, huh, any think about that? Because I
[1:08:26] Speaker 3: have been with some name Colin, I was gonna say, uh,
[1:08:30] Speaker 3: niggas well.
[1:08:31] Speaker 1: They are.
[1:08:33] Speaker 3: And I would do it back. I don't want to
[1:08:35] Speaker 3: live my life like that. I would like to be
[1:08:37] Speaker 3: able to be calm and respectful or just like walk
[1:08:40] Speaker 3: away if it gets that much and you can't write it,
[1:08:43] Speaker 3: I don't know. We're trying to figure out for those
[1:08:45] Speaker 3: of you who are in committed relationships or marriage or whatever. Y'all,
[1:08:51] Speaker 3: y'all got all these names for marriage these days, and
[1:08:54] Speaker 3: tell me some because maybe I'll use them. Let me
[1:08:57] Speaker 3: know what are some of the little things. Let you
[1:09:00] Speaker 3: know that this was a person that you feel like
[1:09:03] Speaker 3: you can be with forever right now, and only tell
[1:09:06] Speaker 3: me if it's not right now, if they're dead. I
[1:09:09] Speaker 3: don't want to hear about nobody that done broke up.
[1:09:11] Speaker 3: That's not who I'm talking to. And good luck to
[1:09:13] Speaker 3: you all in your next endeavor. But I ain't talking
[1:09:16] Speaker 3: to you. I'm talking to the people that are with
[1:09:18] Speaker 3: somebody right now. What's something that you know that this
[1:09:20] Speaker 3: could be Maybe I should consider this more seriously, or
[1:09:25] Speaker 3: you know whatever, or I really love him, and I
[1:09:29] Speaker 3: mean and I think he might too. I'm just curious.
[1:09:31] Speaker 1: I'm very interested.
[1:09:35] Speaker 3: Yeah, I was not in my lover girl era. I
[1:09:39] Speaker 3: asked chat Gibt when for the show notes you had
[1:09:43] Speaker 3: said that at first, but I was thinking about it
[1:09:45] Speaker 3: with that letter, But then after that, I was like, well,
[1:09:46] Speaker 3: I don't know what the fuck we're gonna talk about.
[1:09:48] Speaker 3: But then not dating right now, and I need these
[1:09:51] Speaker 3: girls to tell me some situationship titles. I don't like
[1:09:54] Speaker 3: that name.
[1:09:55] Speaker 1: Are you dating multiple people? Are just one? Just the one?
[1:09:59] Speaker 1: I just have one person? Fun?
[1:10:02] Speaker 3: Is it fun? It ain't really fun, to be honest,
[1:10:05] Speaker 3: but it's comfortable in a good way, not like a
[1:10:08] Speaker 3: bad way. It is nice to.
[1:10:13] Speaker 1: Have somebody, have somebody who.
[1:10:15] Speaker 3: Actually appreciates you and considers you even when you don't
[1:10:21] Speaker 3: consider yourself, and like can be there like that does matter.
[1:10:28] Speaker 1: Yeah, but I don't know. I don't know what to
[1:10:30] Speaker 1: call it, y'all. Give me some words.
[1:10:34] Speaker 3: We'll see.
[1:10:37] Speaker 1: I don't know, but I won't be having a hot
[1:10:40] Speaker 1: girl summer, y'all. It'll be a healed girl summer.
[1:10:44] Speaker 3: But I just want to go on a vacation.
[1:10:47] Speaker 1: That's what we were talking to me and this man.
[1:10:49] Speaker 3: He wants to take a trip, and we were supposed
[1:10:53] Speaker 3: to go somewhere last month.
[1:10:57] Speaker 1: Funeral.
[1:10:58] Speaker 3: H but but we're gonna go somewhere this summer. He
[1:11:02] Speaker 3: really wants to go to Arizona, and I was telling
[1:11:05] Speaker 3: him about the thing. Uh so, I don't know because
[1:11:08] Speaker 3: he wants to go next month, and I was like, Jela,
[1:11:11] Speaker 3: it's very hot. I don't want to go to Arizona
[1:11:14] Speaker 3: and July, so I don't know. Do y'all have some
[1:11:16] Speaker 3: places that you want to go. I've also been thinking
[1:11:18] Speaker 3: about Granada.
[1:11:19] Speaker 1: M Saloon is a good one if you want to
[1:11:21] Speaker 1: be romantic. But Talma be expensed for no reason, but
[1:11:23] Speaker 1: it is pretty.
[1:11:26] Speaker 3: I really just want to go back to my favorite
[1:11:28] Speaker 3: little island.
[1:11:28] Speaker 1: Let's go. Just went in March, and I want to
[1:11:35] Speaker 1: go for my birthday that I love it there. You
[1:11:39] Speaker 1: want to go to Martha's Vineyard and Nantucket Island? What Nimmy.
[1:11:44] Speaker 3: She's a producer on the New show. She was at
[1:11:47] Speaker 3: Martha's Vineyard last month and she says she loves everybody.
[1:11:51] Speaker 3: She lives in New York and she's like, I don't
[1:11:54] Speaker 3: think she had been, but she went and she loved it.
[1:11:57] Speaker 3: I want to go. I want to go to this
[1:11:59] Speaker 3: man I used to date in college. He's always there
[1:12:02] Speaker 3: in May when all the rich blacks be out there
[1:12:06] Speaker 3: having their weekend. And maybe it's a Memorial Day weekend
[1:12:08] Speaker 3: thing like how people go to the Hampton's for Labor Day.
[1:12:11] Speaker 3: I don't know, but he's doing good.
[1:12:13] Speaker 1: Your sucker. I do be wondering what is it gonna
[1:12:16] Speaker 1: be like when I do decide to step out outside?
[1:12:18] Speaker 1: What she gonna do? I don't know, because I'm not
[1:12:20] Speaker 1: going to sax with your niggas. I don't know what
[1:12:22] Speaker 1: I'm gonna do, because what else we gonna do? What
[1:12:23] Speaker 1: are y'all doing? Like, I don't know what we're gonna do.
[1:12:25] Speaker 1: I don't even know what to.
[1:12:26] Speaker 3: Want to die on you and spoil you. You don't
[1:12:28] Speaker 3: have to give it.
[1:12:29] Speaker 1: Up, okay, because that man was in my DMS.
[1:12:32] Speaker 3: Don't worry about him. You can get something better, okay.
[1:12:35] Speaker 3: Instead of the rapper, you can get the executive. That's
[1:12:37] Speaker 3: what we really want, dun over the rapper. I think, like,
[1:12:43] Speaker 3: what you want the big boss over the rapper?
[1:12:45] Speaker 1: You know what I think I want? And this is
[1:12:46] Speaker 1: what I even told the rapper. I was like, oh, lord,
[1:12:49] Speaker 1: I don't think. I just want like a construction worker.
[1:12:51] Speaker 3: I knew you were gonna say that. I think I'm
[1:12:52] Speaker 3: tapped into my Literally, I heard construction work.
[1:12:55] Speaker 1: I just want a construction worker. I just want a
[1:12:57] Speaker 1: construction worker, just a good old work a man can
[1:13:00] Speaker 1: build some ship, go home, come home, because I just
[1:13:03] Speaker 1: want like a simple man. You make money, you handle
[1:13:07] Speaker 1: your business, and you love your woman. And that's just
[1:13:12] Speaker 1: what I want. A simple man. You don't got to
[1:13:14] Speaker 1: do the extra shit. I'll do it construction, the extra stuff.
[1:13:19] Speaker 1: What do you mean, like the princess treatment that the
[1:13:22] Speaker 1: men want today? Like I just I don't even want to.
[1:13:24] Speaker 1: I don't. I'm so sick of some of the things
[1:13:26] Speaker 1: that even my ex boyfriend was saying, I'm sick of it.
[1:13:30] Speaker 1: Like I'm sick of it.
[1:13:31] Speaker 3: What's the last princess treatment thing you saw or experience
[1:13:35] Speaker 3: from a man or that he wanted? Kind of think
[1:13:39] Speaker 3: of something this mm hmm, I remember this was This
[1:13:52] Speaker 3: wasn't the last one, but this is the one that
[1:13:54] Speaker 3: comes to mind. This man was really upset that I
[1:13:59] Speaker 3: would always call him when I was on the way
[1:14:00] Speaker 3: to get my nails and toes done and would never
[1:14:03] Speaker 3: invite him, and he wanted to come along. Why would
[1:14:06] Speaker 3: I have you in my meantime like that? And for
[1:14:09] Speaker 3: what you're doing with those damn bricks on your feet,
[1:14:12] Speaker 3: you don't go get petic currys.
[1:14:13] Speaker 1: What the fuck you're doing?
[1:14:14] Speaker 3: And now I'm feeling like you just want to have
[1:14:16] Speaker 3: an excuse to be in there with the bad bitches
[1:14:18] Speaker 3: that's getting their nails and toes done before they go
[1:14:21] Speaker 3: to work at the clubs and shit at night. Because
[1:14:23] Speaker 3: you knew where I went to get my nails and
[1:14:24] Speaker 3: toes done. It was a pop and nail shop.
[1:14:26] Speaker 1: Something was up.
[1:14:27] Speaker 3: And why do you need me to invite you just
[1:14:29] Speaker 3: go in there? That upset me all over again. What's
[1:14:32] Speaker 3: the thing you can think of? Because why do you
[1:14:34] Speaker 3: need to be there for real with me?
[1:14:37] Speaker 1: The princess treatment, the princess? How did you get me?
[1:14:41] Speaker 1: I heard a man say.
[1:14:44] Speaker 3: Why didn't why didn't this girl bring him flowers as
[1:14:48] Speaker 3: a congratulatory gift for something?
[1:14:54] Speaker 1: Well, some of the man would be offended by that.
[1:14:56] Speaker 3: Maybe that's why.
[1:14:58] Speaker 1: I don't know, But why the fuck you need flower? Anyway?
[1:15:00] Speaker 3: Sorry?
[1:15:00] Speaker 1: Go ahead, I can't because I feel like I can't
[1:15:03] Speaker 1: even share my princess moment treatments with these things because
[1:15:05] Speaker 1: mom was my boyfriend, so.
[1:15:07] Speaker 3: Well, you didn't have to tell us who it was,
[1:15:13] Speaker 3: all right, Well, h if you are a man who
[1:15:19] Speaker 3: wants princess treatment, I almost total lize and said all
[1:15:23] Speaker 3: judgment aside. The judgment's not aside.
[1:15:25] Speaker 1: But I am curious.
[1:15:28] Speaker 3: What is that about?
[1:15:29] Speaker 1: And what is princess or prince treatment to you? And
[1:15:32] Speaker 1: please don't say king.
[1:15:35] Speaker 3: I'm just wondering what it is that you guys want
[1:15:40] Speaker 3: sometimes or is it that you don't know how to say? Hey,
[1:15:43] Speaker 3: sometimes I want to feel appreciated. I need a break.
[1:15:47] Speaker 3: I have feelings too, And if that is the case,
[1:15:50] Speaker 3: do you ever just say that? Because I could handle
[1:15:54] Speaker 3: that better than you tell me some bullshit.
[1:15:58] Speaker 1: I'm just glad I'm taking my break because I can't
[1:16:01] Speaker 1: deal with I'm just like, this is too much. What
[1:16:03] Speaker 1: happened to the men, the internet and podcast.
[1:16:14] Speaker 3: It has done us all at disservice. I think that
[1:16:17] Speaker 3: the bottom line is because people talk about us too.
[1:16:20] Speaker 3: Sometimes I don't know how to take a damn joke
[1:16:22] Speaker 3: or just to take things. It's like, oh, we're just
[1:16:24] Speaker 3: having fun talking shit, talking shit, and what's really going
[1:16:29] Speaker 3: on are not one and the same, and sometimes people
[1:16:32] Speaker 3: just want to have fun and laughs about stuff. You'll
[1:16:33] Speaker 3: never sit around with your friends, girlfriends, guy friends, whoever
[1:16:36] Speaker 3: and just talk about stuff. You might be talking shit
[1:16:38] Speaker 3: about your man, but you know, you go right back
[1:16:40] Speaker 3: home to him. And as soon as he calls you
[1:16:41] Speaker 3: and tells you I'm done watching the game with the boys,
[1:16:43] Speaker 3: that I'm about to go home.
[1:16:44] Speaker 1: You want me to pick you up?
[1:16:45] Speaker 3: Yes, and you're gonna be outside, Well, girl, my man
[1:16:47] Speaker 3: is here, I gotta go. I'm not staying down with
[1:16:49] Speaker 3: y'all night. You know, I just I just wonder what's
[1:16:51] Speaker 3: happened to let me know. I try to say the
[1:16:55] Speaker 3: nicest way possible.
[1:16:57] Speaker 1: Anyways, it's very late.
[1:16:58] Speaker 3: We're gonna move on, and when we come back, we're
[1:17:01] Speaker 3: either going to do advice for a cocktail.
[1:17:12] Speaker 1: But if I'm come on, mean you think is it
[1:17:18] Speaker 1: some catch in the place that it is? Once upon
[1:17:23] Speaker 1: a time, not long ago, I was.
[1:17:24] Speaker 3: A we're eskiping the advice this week and it's time
[1:17:30] Speaker 3: for the cocktail. So this one says surprise golden shower.
[1:17:35] Speaker 3: Hey beautiful. So I'm going to try to keep this short.
[1:17:39] Speaker 3: Blah blah blah, blah okay. So one night I went
[1:17:41] Speaker 3: to an R and B party with my homegirls, and
[1:17:43] Speaker 3: my little situationship was there with his homeboys. I was
[1:17:46] Speaker 3: surprised to see his fine ass, but still very excited.
[1:17:49] Speaker 3: I planned on trying to see him after, but I
[1:17:52] Speaker 3: wasn't really sure if that was going to happen. He
[1:17:55] Speaker 3: came up to me and my homegirls and we all
[1:17:56] Speaker 3: started chatting it up, and he started feeling on my
[1:17:59] Speaker 3: booty and I already knew where the night was going.
[1:18:02] Speaker 3: I know that feeling too, girl, because we'll say, you
[1:18:03] Speaker 3: rub on that booty, don't hide that pussy.
[1:18:11] Speaker 1: I love that. I'm like, play it on the way home.
[1:18:14] Speaker 1: All right.
[1:18:14] Speaker 3: We were both lit, so tom was about to be had.
[1:18:17] Speaker 3: Let's fast forward to the after party. He meets me
[1:18:19] Speaker 3: at my hotel room about one in the morning. We
[1:18:22] Speaker 3: take some shots and we get to it. I start
[1:18:25] Speaker 3: to suck his stick and he tells me to get
[1:18:27] Speaker 3: on top, so I do.
[1:18:29] Speaker 1: We're so into it. He's asking me do I miss.
[1:18:33] Speaker 3: Him, telling me he loves me, saying this is pussy
[1:18:38] Speaker 3: and that he is going to nothing. It had a flashback.
[1:18:42] Speaker 3: All right, now, I'm not on birth control, but I'm
[1:18:45] Speaker 3: very much like Yollo.
[1:18:47] Speaker 1: That is the alcohol.
[1:18:49] Speaker 3: Okay, So I'm like, yeah, daddy, not yo, pussy. We
[1:18:53] Speaker 3: changing to different positions and he's still talking his shit.
[1:18:56] Speaker 3: He was very vocal this night, and I loved every
[1:18:59] Speaker 3: bit of it. He even asked me if I was
[1:19:02] Speaker 3: keeping the baby and did he write this no, because
[1:19:09] Speaker 3: this is to start off with a golden ship, because
[1:19:10] Speaker 3: this is well, I'm sorry, y'all, my bad. Anyway, he
[1:19:14] Speaker 3: asked me if I was keeping the baby and what
[1:19:16] Speaker 3: we were naming it. Y'all, I'm so delusional. I told him,
[1:19:19] Speaker 3: of course, and it was going to be a junior.
[1:19:20] Speaker 1: I know, that's right, bitch. Okay. It felt like we
[1:19:23] Speaker 1: was making love. Anyways.
[1:19:26] Speaker 3: We had sex for like at least two hours, and
[1:19:28] Speaker 3: we kept taking very small breaks, like a few minutes.
[1:19:33] Speaker 1: He was turning me every which way but lose, being
[1:19:37] Speaker 1: very demanding about what he wanted and how I obeyed
[1:19:41] Speaker 1: every command. I was in heaven. I knew we were
[1:19:44] Speaker 1: both drunk, but he was more drunk than I understood.
[1:19:47] Speaker 1: In that moment. The man wouldn't net mmm, look he
[1:19:51] Speaker 1: feel like I read this before.
[1:19:52] Speaker 3: But whatever, we're in it now or halfway home okay,
[1:19:55] Speaker 3: which has never been a problem for him before. But
[1:19:58] Speaker 3: every time we stopped, he was like nah and wanted
[1:20:01] Speaker 3: to go again. He wanted that nut and I wanted
[1:20:04] Speaker 3: him to have it. So I get on my knees
[1:20:07] Speaker 3: to suck his dick again, and he is finally telling
[1:20:11] Speaker 3: me he's about to nut, so I do not stop.
[1:20:13] Speaker 1: I want it in my mouth. I was going to
[1:20:15] Speaker 1: swallow it. Next thing you know, he starts doing a
[1:20:17] Speaker 1: sound like he is coming.
[1:20:18] Speaker 3: So I continue to suck and swallow, but then I
[1:20:20] Speaker 3: realized something was not right, so I stopped swallowing.
[1:20:25] Speaker 1: In my mouth started filling up with liquid.
[1:20:28] Speaker 3: I popped his dick out so fast, and next thing
[1:20:31] Speaker 3: you know, he is peeing on my goddamn titties, but
[1:20:35] Speaker 3: he doesn't realize he's doing it.
[1:20:38] Speaker 1: I'm also in shock, so in the midst of it all,
[1:20:44] Speaker 1: I swallowed the beak.
[1:20:46] Speaker 3: The word the beak, hear it now? That got into
[1:20:50] Speaker 3: my mouth and shortly realized what the fuck I just did.
[1:20:55] Speaker 3: When he saw me, he was confused and I didn't
[1:20:58] Speaker 3: say too much and she did not, and I realize
[1:21:00] Speaker 3: he peed instead of nutted, and I was speechless. He
[1:21:06] Speaker 3: then goes to pee in the bathroom and I get
[1:21:08] Speaker 3: in the shower. Luckily, his peet was clear and didn't smell.
[1:21:11] Speaker 3: I don't believe that you off the shower. Oh wait,
[1:21:16] Speaker 3: you would think I would have ended up. I would
[1:21:19] Speaker 3: have ended the night, But nope. Somehow, someway after I
[1:21:21] Speaker 3: got into shower, one thing led to another, and my
[1:21:24] Speaker 3: toes are in his.
[1:21:25] Speaker 1: Mouth and he starts to eat my pussy.
[1:21:28] Speaker 3: I turned around for back shots and he finally nutted
[1:21:32] Speaker 3: and it was in me. He passes out to sleep
[1:21:36] Speaker 3: immediately and he is hanging off the bed. I kind
[1:21:39] Speaker 3: of dragged him into a better position and I joined
[1:21:42] Speaker 3: him with sleep. The next morning he left and went
[1:21:44] Speaker 3: to work. We had no recollection of the night. He
[1:21:47] Speaker 3: didn't because you can rote the whole story. He blacked
[1:21:50] Speaker 3: out after we took them shots. He doesn't remember peeing
[1:21:52] Speaker 3: on me, nutting in meat, peeing in you in your
[1:21:56] Speaker 3: after like the first ten minutes, Dam bitch, the p
[1:22:00] Speaker 3: a time was really had. The night goes into the books.
[1:22:03] Speaker 3: He apologized and still does when it comes back up.
[1:22:07] Speaker 3: But I just laugh at it now. Truly a moment
[1:22:09] Speaker 3: I'll never forget. Start for the long email, I hope
[1:22:12] Speaker 3: you'll enjoyed this embarrassing short. I don't think we read
[1:22:14] Speaker 3: this before. I think the last one they was in
[1:22:16] Speaker 3: a motel and in turned it to broke golden showers.
[1:22:21] Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure, I'm living vicariously through all you guys.
[1:22:24] Speaker 1: I told you I'm lonely and not being touched by men.
[1:22:28] Speaker 3: Got to get you a Lilo toy, give me a
[1:22:32] Speaker 3: little lelom and I heed it.
[1:22:35] Speaker 1: Blaken and a boyfriend pillow. I'll have to send care package.
[1:22:39] Speaker 3: Those really do come in handy on one.
[1:22:41] Speaker 1: Yeah, dude, I definitely a needy one there. I have
[1:22:44] Speaker 1: made a post on Instagram something about like not I
[1:22:46] Speaker 1: made a funny celibacy, funny little video and this girl
[1:22:50] Speaker 1: that was funny. It was funny. I'm gonna make something
[1:22:52] Speaker 1: jokes out of it. And she was like, well, you
[1:22:54] Speaker 1: should have been missing me, And I was like, well, bitch,
[1:22:55] Speaker 1: I do like, I don't know what you want, like
[1:22:57] Speaker 1: I might not be having sex with I'm not not
[1:22:59] Speaker 1: having sex cause I don't like man. I love men love,
[1:23:02] Speaker 1: and I'm talking about love all right, share. I love men.
[1:23:07] Speaker 1: I think they're the coolest, but they're like hurt. They do. Yeah,
[1:23:12] Speaker 1: they make your backs? Why skin breaking out, hair falling off,
[1:23:17] Speaker 1: you look.
[1:23:18] Speaker 3: Old, dusty hair uneven, you look ashy. Anyways, that's enough
[1:23:25] Speaker 3: of us for today.
[1:23:26] Speaker 1: I hope you enjoyed us this week.
[1:23:30] Speaker 3: Please please please check the description box for the links
[1:23:34] Speaker 3: to everything we discussed today. Another reminder, new show drops
[1:23:38] Speaker 3: next week, So Tuesday audio, Wednesday YouTube, Thursday cocktails.
[1:23:44] Speaker 1: So yeah, you'll check it out.
[1:23:48] Speaker 3: In the book club we read the norm nowhere, man,
[1:23:51] Speaker 3: I want to get back to the psychological thrillers.
[1:23:53] Speaker 1: And go to Sedona. Oh yeah, we have day passes,
[1:23:56] Speaker 1: so if you are just like day, you know, you
[1:23:57] Speaker 1: have to stay at the place you might live there. Yeah,
[1:23:59] Speaker 1: you might in the reason or you might just want
[1:24:00] Speaker 1: to come out there, stay in a different hotel that's
[1:24:02] Speaker 1: a little bit more budget friendly for you, and just
[1:24:05] Speaker 1: come to either the party part or just see me
[1:24:08] Speaker 1: interview esa whatever, go to Paradise and Vibe dot com.
[1:24:11] Speaker 1: Check it out. All right, you guys, we are at
[1:24:14] Speaker 1: Cocktails podcast.
[1:24:15] Speaker 3: I'm at Kiki said.
[1:24:16] Speaker 1: So I'm at coffee beand and until next week, you guys, goodbye.
[1:24:20] Speaker 4: Goodbye bye bye bye bye bye do relation, goodbye bye
[1:24:31] Speaker 4: bye
[1:24:32] Speaker 1: Were dry, bye bye bye

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