# Are You a Good Friend… or Doing Too Much?

An episode of [Cocktales with Kiki](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1149484402), 10 Apr 2026, 1 h 16 min.

Audio: https://op3.dev/e/dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/pdst.fm/e/claritaspod.com/measure/pscrb.fm/rss/p/mgln.ai/e/p5972/api.spreaker.com/download/episode/71238117/episode_487.mp3

This week, Kiki and Medinah get real about the fine line between being a good friend and doing way too much. From unsolicited advice to judging your friend’s relationship choices, they break down when to speak up—and when to mind your business. Plus, a wild advice letter about dating a “good man” with not-so-good bedroom performance sparks an honest conversation about compatibility, sex, and what really matters in relationships. Offers From Our Sponsors: IndaCloud If you’re 21 or older, get 40% OFF your first order @IndaCloud with code COCKTALES at https://inda.shop/COCKTALES! #indacloudpod Super.com Start building your credit the easy way. Go to Super.com/credit right now to see how Super+ can help you boost your credit score. Soaking Wet- VB Health Visit soakingwet.com and use code CockTales for 10% off or click the link in the episode description Contact us! Advice: advice@cocktalespod.com CockTales: cocktales@cocktalespod.com You can also leave a voicemail instead of an email for advice and cocktales!! 404-692-0039 Join Patreon to help support the show! www.patreon.com/cocktales Get Your Merch & Order Your Card Game www.imcurioustoknow.com Bali With Kiki! The Travel Tribe Experience: https://travel.kikisaidso.com/Bali Get Klassy Baste! Learn to Cook with Kiki www.klassybaste.com Join Kiki's Book www.patreon.com/kikisaidso Travel With Medinah! https://paradiseandvibe.com DONATE TO MEALS ON WHEELS ATLANTA (MOWA)- https://www.mowatl.org/donations MOWA TASTE May 29, 2026 LINK : onecau.se/_fv6xa1 Dear Lover Girl : https://dearlovergirlbymedinah.substack.com/?r=qjp94&utm_campaign=pub-share-checklist Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/cocktales-with-kiki--2818687/support. CONNECT WITH US Follow the host and join the conversation after the episode: Kiki Said So (Kiara Walker) Instagram: @kikisaidso TikTok: @kikisaidso Cocktales With Kiki Instagram:@cocktalespodcast TikTok: @cocktalespodcast Want to be a guest on Cocktales? We are always looking for interesting guests, experts, and storytellers to join the show. If you would like to be considered, please fill out our guest submission form here: Guest Interest Form

## Transcript

[0:02] Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, Check one two, check one two. Is this
[0:04] Speaker 1: Mike On? Is this Mike On?
[0:06] Speaker 2: Hey listen man, it's the.
[0:07] Speaker 1: One and only trend set of DJ SIS and you're
[0:10] Speaker 1: listening to cocktails Dirty Discussions with Kikia Medina Monroe. Yeah,
[0:19] Speaker 1: today's cocktail is called in the Cloud. The ingredients you
[0:24] Speaker 1: need for an Indo Cloud no sugar, first of all, relaxation,
[0:29] Speaker 1: some chemistry, some date night energy. You're probably thinking, where
[0:34] Speaker 1: can I buy this? How am I gonna make all
[0:36] Speaker 1: of this? Well, you're gonna go to indocloud dot com, y'all.
[0:41] Speaker 1: Indo Cloud is a fully legal online cannabis dispensary for gummies,
[0:46] Speaker 1: exotic flowers, premium pre rolls, and zero sugar, THHC sodas.
[0:50] Speaker 2: And we are we're sipping a little blue Brass todays.
[0:54] Speaker 1: Man. I absolutely like to actually be drinking the product
[0:59] Speaker 1: that you're talking about. It's good. One of the things
[1:02] Speaker 1: I love about it is if you're having a stressful day,
[1:05] Speaker 1: you're feeling irritable, or you're just annoyed, but you also
[1:08] Speaker 1: have a date Kiki, this is.
[1:11] Speaker 2: Gonna chill you out. I'm telling you. When I have
[1:14] Speaker 2: like a stressful day and everything is irritating me, or
[1:17] Speaker 2: I am in physical pain, which is probably good three
[1:20] Speaker 2: weeks out of the month if I have a little soda
[1:24] Speaker 2: from Into Cloud or one of their gummies. They have
[1:27] Speaker 2: Senna's gummies. They sent me this candy. It's like a
[1:31] Speaker 2: nerd rope if you've ever had one of those. And
[1:34] Speaker 2: then they also sent me these little bites that are
[1:36] Speaker 2: like I think they're called cereal bites, but they're like
[1:39] Speaker 2: rice crispy treats basically. I haven't tried those yet. Those
[1:42] Speaker 2: are pretty strong. I'm gonna save that for the weekend.
[1:44] Speaker 2: But we split the blue Rass soda and I'm like
[1:47] Speaker 2: that on the can so that you don't forget it
[1:49] Speaker 2: says there's a fifteen minute onset. And then when I
[1:51] Speaker 2: was eating the candy, it was like, you need to
[1:53] Speaker 2: wait two hours before you think. It doesn't work that way.
[1:57] Speaker 2: It has time to move through your body and getting
[1:59] Speaker 2: your system because you don't want to have too much.
[2:01] Speaker 2: I like that they tell you about the potency of
[2:05] Speaker 2: all of their products and it they'll also tell you
[2:08] Speaker 2: the kind of vibe that you'll get because being stressed out,
[2:11] Speaker 2: whether you're going on a date, hanging out with friendsyeing
[2:13] Speaker 2: your family, whatever the case may be, you don't Sometimes
[2:16] Speaker 2: you want to show up and you want to be
[2:17] Speaker 2: social and you want to do those things and you
[2:19] Speaker 2: don't want to let whatever outside stressors you have get
[2:22] Speaker 2: in the way. Have you a little into cloud.
[2:24] Speaker 1: I mean for real, cause people really don't understand how
[2:27] Speaker 1: much your daily activity stress can really kill a vibe.
[2:32] Speaker 1: And let's say you are newly back outside like myself.
[2:35] Speaker 1: If you sip this as you're getting ready to go
[2:38] Speaker 1: on that day.
[2:39] Speaker 2: That's what I like to do. So then why I'm
[2:40] Speaker 2: getting ready.
[2:41] Speaker 1: Now, You're feeling flirty, you're having a good time, like
[2:43] Speaker 1: you're already creating your own chemistry. Don't kill the vibe
[2:47] Speaker 1: just because you're stressed. Like life be life in but
[2:50] Speaker 1: you can't stop life just because life be life in it.
[2:53] Speaker 1: That sounds so deep, But this little I came in
[2:56] Speaker 1: here today and I told Kiki, I was like, I'm irritable,
[2:58] Speaker 1: I got an attitude, I feel good.
[3:01] Speaker 2: I feel good too. I was stressed out. I was like,
[3:03] Speaker 2: I got a million things going on in my mind
[3:06] Speaker 2: and nothing is gonna get resolved today. And now it
[3:09] Speaker 2: just feels like, well, whatever, we're here I'm blessed, highly favored.
[3:13] Speaker 2: What am I stressed about today is today, and we're
[3:15] Speaker 2: gonna do what we can today and not stressed about it.
[3:17] Speaker 2: And whatever doesn't get done today tomorrow, if I make
[3:20] Speaker 2: it to tomorrow, it can get done then. And if
[3:22] Speaker 2: I don't, it didn't matter no way, right. And imagine
[3:25] Speaker 2: feeling like this isn't going on a date at first
[3:27] Speaker 2: she was stressed. If you wouldn't have had the End
[3:28] Speaker 2: of cloud you would be on the date being annoying
[3:30] Speaker 2: and being rude, having a look attitude. Now it's just
[3:33] Speaker 2: your lord is gone, but you're feeling relaxed. I also
[3:37] Speaker 2: find that it makes men's jokes so much funnier, Like
[3:40] Speaker 2: everything starts to get funny, and that's a good time
[3:43] Speaker 2: because when somebody can keep you laughing, Hopefully you don't
[3:47] Speaker 2: need into cloud for that. But maybe that those first
[3:49] Speaker 2: date jitters, or maybe you got a man that think
[3:52] Speaker 2: he funny and he not just drink the end of
[3:54] Speaker 2: cloud y'all will both be happier.
[3:55] Speaker 1: I've also found that it makes conversation easier. Maybe you
[3:59] Speaker 1: forgot your conversation game. Have a few SIPs of in
[4:01] Speaker 1: the cloud, the conversation is flowing. Yeah, you don't even
[4:04] Speaker 1: need a you don't even need alcohol. That's what I
[4:06] Speaker 1: also think.
[4:07] Speaker 2: So I mixed hours this time with a gave spirit
[4:12] Speaker 2: free flavored thing. Basically it is no alcohol tequila just
[4:16] Speaker 2: so it would feel like a cocktail, and it gave
[4:18] Speaker 2: it a nice little spicy kick. You can drink it
[4:20] Speaker 2: just with ice. You can drink it straight out of
[4:22] Speaker 2: the can. We didn't want to get too lit, so
[4:23] Speaker 2: I was like, I will bring one because they are good,
[4:26] Speaker 2: and I would finish this whole thing by myself, but
[4:28] Speaker 2: we can split it and cut it with a little
[4:30] Speaker 2: tequila or a little ginger rell is good with it,
[4:34] Speaker 2: or even club soda, like if you want it to
[4:36] Speaker 2: be more like a sprit. I'm telling y'all, these things
[4:40] Speaker 2: are so relaxing. And the gummies I had those, they
[4:44] Speaker 2: are orange flavored and they taste like if y'all remember,
[4:48] Speaker 2: it's like an Old Lady candy where it's the orange
[4:50] Speaker 2: slices that'll be wrapped up. That's what they taste like.
[4:53] Speaker 2: So you were talking about nostalgia, I think on the bonus,
[4:57] Speaker 2: those we are nostalgic to me. Because of that, I
[5:00] Speaker 2: loved them. I have one last night. I mean, I
[5:02] Speaker 2: don't know what I was watching, but whatever it was,
[5:04] Speaker 2: it was so funny.
[5:05] Speaker 1: I have the sleeping ones also, and I've been taking
[5:08] Speaker 1: them almost every night for a little sleep. It gives
[5:10] Speaker 1: me really great dreams, really good dreams. Also, I want
[5:14] Speaker 1: to add a four twenties right around the corners. Oh yeah,
[5:16] Speaker 1: so with new customers and you get forty percent off
[5:19] Speaker 1: all month long during into Cloud's biggest sale of the
[5:22] Speaker 1: year or twenty Come on.
[5:24] Speaker 2: Y'all, that's a big deal. So if you are twenty
[5:27] Speaker 2: one or older in a new customer, just go ahead
[5:30] Speaker 2: and head on over to indocloud dot co. That's I
[5:33] Speaker 2: N D A c l o ud dot co dot
[5:37] Speaker 2: dot com dot co and use code cocktails c O
[5:41] Speaker 2: c K T A l e S for forty percent
[5:44] Speaker 2: off your first order. That's into cloud dot co. Use
[5:49] Speaker 2: code cocktails for forty percent off all month long, ship
[5:54] Speaker 2: discreetly to your door, plus free shipping on all orders
[5:58] Speaker 2: over fifty dollars. And oh this is the gift that
[6:01] Speaker 2: keeps on giving. So you get free shipping on orders
[6:04] Speaker 2: over fifty dollars, and then you'll also get thirty dollars
[6:07] Speaker 2: in free gifts if your purchase is over one hundred
[6:09] Speaker 2: and twenty dollars, so you may as well just stock
[6:12] Speaker 2: up so that you don't have to wait, and then
[6:14] Speaker 2: you can stock your cabinet. You can get a few snacks,
[6:16] Speaker 2: get a few beverages, whatever it is that you like.
[6:18] Speaker 2: They have so many different types of products, y'all. Go
[6:20] Speaker 2: to endocloud dot co. Check out their website. Browse. You
[6:23] Speaker 2: can shop by mood, you can shop by potency, and
[6:26] Speaker 2: you can shop buy product. Don't tell us we never
[6:29] Speaker 2: gave y'all nothing. And now we'll get back to the show.
[6:33] Speaker 2: So welcome back to Cocktails, Dirty Discussions, you guys. I
[6:37] Speaker 2: am Kicky said.
[6:38] Speaker 1: So, hey, y'all, I'm Medina Monroe.
[6:41] Speaker 2: And this week we have a few topics that we're
[6:44] Speaker 2: going to get into in a minute, but I do
[6:46] Speaker 2: want to remind you all to make sure that you
[6:48] Speaker 2: listen to the episode all the way through because we've
[6:50] Speaker 2: moved our announcements to the end and we do have
[6:52] Speaker 2: a few things that we want to make sure that
[6:54] Speaker 2: you know that we have going on. And then this
[6:56] Speaker 2: week we're also going to be talking about out if
[7:00] Speaker 2: you're really a good friend or are you actually just
[7:04] Speaker 2: doing too damn much and saying you're a good friend
[7:07] Speaker 2: and you really not being one. So that's the topic
[7:09] Speaker 2: for today. But before we get into today's topic, we're
[7:12] Speaker 2: going to actually move on to weird sex.
[7:16] Speaker 1: You said a man is not a necessity. A man
[7:19] Speaker 1: is a luxury like dessert.
[7:22] Speaker 2: Yeah, a man is absolutely not necessity.
[7:25] Speaker 1: Did you mean that to sound meaning better?
[7:29] Speaker 2: Oh not at all.
[7:31] Speaker 1: I adore dessert.
[7:32] Speaker 2: I love man.
[7:33] Speaker 1: I think men are the coolest, but you don't really
[7:35] Speaker 1: need them to live.
[7:41] Speaker 2: Okay, So this week's wird sex is a short story.
[7:44] Speaker 2: Several people send this to me, and this was a
[7:46] Speaker 2: while ago, but it was so crazy I was debating
[7:49] Speaker 2: on whether I want to share it or not. My
[7:51] Speaker 2: question is for everybody, why y'all be putting stuff in
[7:55] Speaker 2: your butts that don't belong there? God, you know, stuff
[7:58] Speaker 2: that doesn't belong there, that wasn't made for your butt,
[8:01] Speaker 2: stuff that is not an organic object, stuff that is, maybe,
[8:05] Speaker 2: I don't know, an undetonated World War One bombshell, like
[8:09] Speaker 2: a literal bomb shell. There was a hospital in France
[8:14] Speaker 2: that ended up having to get evacuated because somebody showed up.
[8:18] Speaker 2: This man showed up with an undetonated bombshell in his
[8:22] Speaker 2: butt freaked everybody out. They evacuated the hospital after surgeons
[8:26] Speaker 2: discovered a live eight inch artillery shell from nineteen fucking eighteen.
[8:31] Speaker 2: That's over one hundred years old. I don't know how
[8:35] Speaker 2: old he was, but this happened in Toulouse, France. His
[8:38] Speaker 2: booty was too loose, so I guess that's why he
[8:40] Speaker 2: had to upgrade to this bombshell. This is crazy. They
[8:44] Speaker 2: quickly contacted a bomb squad and emptied the facility out
[8:47] Speaker 2: of fear that the shell would explode. They deemed the
[8:50] Speaker 2: authorities deemed the shell not to be a thread and
[8:53] Speaker 2: took it with them for further investigation. It remains unclear
[8:57] Speaker 2: how the bomb ended up there. I've got some idea.
[9:00] Speaker 2: Local officers stated that prosecutors are considering taking legal action
[9:04] Speaker 2: against him for handling a category A Category A munitions.
[9:10] Speaker 2: Shells of this sort were deployed by the blah blah
[9:13] Speaker 2: blah blah, whole bunch of shit that he shouldn't have
[9:15] Speaker 2: been doing. The authorities just said, you shouldn't have the
[9:17] Speaker 2: shit to begin with. And it's not the first case
[9:20] Speaker 2: in this place in France, which is weird. Four years ago,
[9:24] Speaker 2: another hospital was evacuated because an eighty eight year old
[9:28] Speaker 2: man a ride with similar artillery in his amens. And
[9:32] Speaker 2: I think I did that story then, because at first
[9:34] Speaker 2: I thought this was the same thing, just recycled. No,
[9:37] Speaker 2: it is more than one person walking around bomb shells
[9:39] Speaker 2: in their butt. Like, do you really need that much power?
[9:42] Speaker 1: Back? There was going on, I really do this like crack, Like,
[9:46] Speaker 1: how do you whatever?
[9:47] Speaker 2: It's like crack, that first hit to that booty ain't enough.
[9:50] Speaker 1: But my thing is like, how do you ever get
[9:52] Speaker 1: to crack? Like if you're at a party, if someone
[9:53] Speaker 1: ever pulled crack out. It's one thing to pull coke out, okay,
[9:57] Speaker 1: but like if you pull a crack pipe out and
[9:59] Speaker 1: it's like, hey, everybody the parties here, I'm sprinting.
[10:03] Speaker 2: How did we get.
[10:04] Speaker 1: To a bomb in your butthole?
[10:06] Speaker 2: I don't know. I guess you felt like it was
[10:07] Speaker 2: safe because it was so old it couldn't possibly go off.
[10:10] Speaker 2: I don't know. But you guys, there are so many websites,
[10:13] Speaker 2: so many stories that you can go to to find
[10:15] Speaker 2: products that you can safely insert in your rectum, if
[10:19] Speaker 2: that's what you're into, instead of finding old, rusty things.
[10:22] Speaker 2: Imagine if you got to get a technis shot because
[10:25] Speaker 2: you didn't put some old, rusty shit up your butt.
[10:28] Speaker 1: Hospital. They're shutting the whole hospital down now.
[10:31] Speaker 2: It's people in there with real issues going on, and
[10:33] Speaker 2: we got to evacuate the whole motherfucker because you decided
[10:36] Speaker 2: that your booty hole was going to be a bomb shelter.
[10:38] Speaker 1: Like what whatever just happened to a funb in the butt?
[10:41] Speaker 2: I don't know. I guess I guess we're too dated,
[10:44] Speaker 2: We're too behind in the times. People want rusty, crusty
[10:48] Speaker 2: things up there, y'all. Please stop anyway, Thanks for sending
[10:51] Speaker 2: that story in. Y'all be careful of anybody from to
[10:55] Speaker 2: Lose France. I guess they just got war things that
[10:58] Speaker 2: they're putting in their butts. You have more weird sex
[11:00] Speaker 2: stories that you want to share, make sure you send
[11:02] Speaker 2: it to us. You can DM it to me or
[11:04] Speaker 2: you can email it to us at the email in
[11:07] Speaker 2: the description box. Okay, and another note before we get
[11:13] Speaker 2: into weird sex, I want to remind you guys about
[11:15] Speaker 2: our sponsors over at VB Health. So VB Health. We
[11:20] Speaker 2: have been working with them for so long, and this
[11:22] Speaker 2: week we want to highlight soaking wet, which are the vaginal,
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[11:31] Speaker 2: They will have you feeling slipperier, wetter, and just having
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[11:45] Speaker 2: whether you're eating it, drinking it, not working out all
[11:48] Speaker 2: these things. There's so many things that happen with our bodies,
[11:50] Speaker 2: especially with your vaginal flora, and you want to keep
[11:53] Speaker 2: that intact. Even the people that you letting in and.
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[13:14] Speaker 2: I've also been taking the magnesium supplements, the Oshwagandha gummies,
[13:17] Speaker 2: the sleep gummies.
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[13:20] Speaker 2: Are like I wanting to eat them like candy, but
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[14:22] Speaker 2: back to the show.
[14:24] Speaker 1: Are you a good friend? Are you doing too much?
[14:29] Speaker 2: I think it's a very fun line.
[14:31] Speaker 1: Now, what did you mean? Are you doing too much? Like?
[14:35] Speaker 2: Okay, So I was thinking about I don't know if
[14:37] Speaker 2: we talked about this. I don't think so, but y'all
[14:39] Speaker 2: we've been doing these skits, these country waying skits, right,
[14:42] Speaker 2: And I was just thinking about our characters. My character
[14:44] Speaker 2: is annoying as fuck, and she's always doing too much.
[14:48] Speaker 2: She's always inserting herself into other people's business. And I
[14:51] Speaker 2: know people like this, and I'm sure I have been
[14:55] Speaker 2: this person as well, And so I was just thinking about, like,
[14:57] Speaker 2: when you have a loved one, whether it's a friend
[15:01] Speaker 2: or a relative, you have their interests, you have their
[15:05] Speaker 2: best interest at heart, but you might be really vocal
[15:08] Speaker 2: about not liking their partner, about not liking something they're doing,
[15:13] Speaker 2: wanting them to be with a certain type of person,
[15:16] Speaker 2: or maybe even a specific person. I've been in a
[15:18] Speaker 2: lot of different situations, So I'm just wondering, has there
[15:22] Speaker 2: ever been a situation where you felt like you had
[15:25] Speaker 2: strong feelings about a person that a friend of yours
[15:28] Speaker 2: or family member was dating and you were vocal about it,
[15:32] Speaker 2: And then, like, do you think in hindsight when that
[15:35] Speaker 2: has happened do you feel like you were doing too much?
[15:37] Speaker 2: Or were you actually being a good friend? Oh, because
[15:41] Speaker 2: I feel like my character is doing too much. To
[15:43] Speaker 2: tell y'all, my cousin, I don't like her man. I
[15:45] Speaker 2: got reasons from not liking her man and not forget them,
[15:48] Speaker 2: but I have reasons. But I come in the house
[15:50] Speaker 2: being disrespectful. I tell her all the time, do you
[15:53] Speaker 2: still want to do this? Do you want to be
[15:54] Speaker 2: with him? On one hand, it's like you can talk
[15:56] Speaker 2: to somebody and ask them are you really happy because
[15:58] Speaker 2: something seems off in private. But to walk into somebody's
[16:02] Speaker 2: house and be disrespectful in a house that they share
[16:05] Speaker 2: with the person that they're dating, I feel like that
[16:07] Speaker 2: is doing too much having a conversation with your friend.
[16:09] Speaker 2: On the side, I don't think so, depending on the
[16:12] Speaker 2: tone you take in the language you use. But what
[16:14] Speaker 2: do you think?
[16:15] Speaker 1: All right? I'm glad you broke that down because I
[16:16] Speaker 1: thought doing too much was like you know, sometimes you
[16:18] Speaker 1: have friends that just always want to show up and
[16:20] Speaker 1: always want to do all the things and do all
[16:21] Speaker 1: the things. But also it's like you're not like on
[16:25] Speaker 1: the in or it's being a good person. You just
[16:26] Speaker 1: want to be on the scene anyway, you know what
[16:29] Speaker 1: you mean. It's just like you're always everywhere, but you're
[16:31] Speaker 1: just here to be in the to be there. Yeah, okay,
[16:34] Speaker 1: so doing too much in that sense. I can honestly
[16:37] Speaker 1: say there are not I normally don't like people staying together.
[16:45] Speaker 1: If I'm being honest, like, it's like, but I don't
[16:48] Speaker 1: need to say that. Have I ever said it before? Yeah,
[16:50] Speaker 1: but it's always been Uh, I'm invited to give you
[16:57] Speaker 1: my opinion, and I honestly don't even like that unless
[16:59] Speaker 1: like somebody has royally done some disrespectful stuff and now
[17:03] Speaker 1: we're talking about it, and you want to know what
[17:05] Speaker 1: I think about what happened. But I am always let
[17:09] Speaker 1: me I say always, cause I'm pretty sure somebody can
[17:10] Speaker 1: pull from somewhere and say that I have maybe given
[17:13] Speaker 1: some unsolicited advice, But for the most part, when it
[17:16] Speaker 1: comes to your man and who you are deciding to
[17:19] Speaker 1: lay down with or how you're deciding to allow people
[17:22] Speaker 1: to treat you, I try my best, and I think
[17:25] Speaker 1: I do very well at it. I'm mind my business.
[17:28] Speaker 1: I really do now family or friends. But again, if
[17:31] Speaker 1: I'm invited into this conversation and you truly do want
[17:34] Speaker 1: to know what I think about this. I will tell
[17:36] Speaker 1: you what I think about this, but I will either
[17:38] Speaker 1: start it or end it with this is not my business, though,
[17:42] Speaker 1: and I understand I'm at the point now. I haven't
[17:44] Speaker 1: always been at this point. I now really truly understand
[17:49] Speaker 1: relationships are difficult. And when you learn some of the
[17:52] Speaker 1: stories of people our parents and our grandparents and things
[17:55] Speaker 1: that they put up with from the partner and then
[17:58] Speaker 1: seeing them work through things, I believe people can change
[18:01] Speaker 1: that ashy nigga that ain't try you right right now,
[18:03] Speaker 1: long as nobody going upside your head a cheating ask nik,
[18:06] Speaker 1: I believe that people can change. And so this is
[18:09] Speaker 1: none of my business because we also have I'm aware
[18:12] Speaker 1: that we all have different tolerance. We have different tolerance levels.
[18:16] Speaker 1: There are certain things that if you're okay with a
[18:18] Speaker 1: man not opening your door, no I'm not judging you.
[18:20] Speaker 1: But also this is what I don't like about the
[18:24] Speaker 1: don't do too much on the flip side either. When
[18:26] Speaker 1: it's like, what you mean, have you ever been like
[18:27] Speaker 1: you're explaining how maybe you are treated and maybe how
[18:31] Speaker 1: something is going to your own people are like, well,
[18:33] Speaker 1: it don't always gotta be It's almost like if you
[18:35] Speaker 1: always dress up when you go to more, if you're like, well,
[18:36] Speaker 1: you don't always got dress up. No, you don't always
[18:38] Speaker 1: have to dress up.
[18:39] Speaker 2: Oh yeah, like trying to put their ideals on you
[18:43] Speaker 2: about how to show up, how to act or whatever.
[18:45] Speaker 1: And it's like, oh, it's like when this when big
[18:48] Speaker 1: girls be like, oh, everybody don't gotta be skinny. No,
[18:50] Speaker 1: you don't need to be skinny. It's like it goes
[18:52] Speaker 1: both ways. If you care a lot about how you
[18:55] Speaker 1: look and someone has something to say, this is my business,
[18:57] Speaker 1: it's not yours. So I don't do too much on
[19:00] Speaker 1: the tip of like I'm just gonna be sitting here
[19:02] Speaker 1: talking about how I don't like the person that you
[19:04] Speaker 1: love or that you decide. It's really, what does it do?
[19:07] Speaker 1: We all someone can say how they feel. We have
[19:10] Speaker 1: the Bonus episode and I shared something very personal about
[19:12] Speaker 1: how I just be reacted with an ex. Some people
[19:16] Speaker 1: might be like, I can't believe, Well, I don't know it. Yeah.
[19:20] Speaker 1: We all are human and people are experienced love differently.
[19:24] Speaker 1: We all were raised differently, and we all are going
[19:28] Speaker 1: to accept and not accept things on a different level.
[19:30] Speaker 1: And I have just learned it's a learning process for
[19:33] Speaker 1: me to sit there and be like, Okay, this is
[19:36] Speaker 1: this is how you love and this is how you
[19:39] Speaker 1: accept it. But also if it's doing too much, my
[19:42] Speaker 1: doing too much will be like I'm not I'm also
[19:44] Speaker 1: not coming. I'm not coming to stay at your house
[19:46] Speaker 1: and deal with this. I have gotten to that point too.
[19:48] Speaker 1: I had a friend that was like, come and when
[19:50] Speaker 1: you come, you can stay with us all weekend. I
[19:52] Speaker 1: can't do that either, because, like I said, I'm on
[19:54] Speaker 1: my my business and y'all are chaotic. Yeah, I don't
[19:58] Speaker 1: want to do that. I don't want to be in
[20:00] Speaker 1: the chaos. And now he asking me and you asking me, no,
[20:03] Speaker 1: if y'all want to be chaotic and be here acting
[20:05] Speaker 1: crazy and keep having babies, y'all keep doing that. I
[20:08] Speaker 1: want peace.
[20:10] Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel you all that. And I think it's
[20:11] Speaker 2: also important to remember that what you want for your
[20:14] Speaker 2: friend may not be with the friend wants for themselves.
[20:16] Speaker 2: So I don't think you should be given unsolicited advice.
[20:20] Speaker 2: I think that is a slippery slope. But if you
[20:22] Speaker 2: ever find yourself in that position, or you find yourself
[20:25] Speaker 2: in a position where somebody is asking for advice, and
[20:28] Speaker 2: maybe they really mean it. Maybe they don't, but you
[20:30] Speaker 2: about to give it. Consider that too, like what does
[20:33] Speaker 2: the person want? And if you don't know, that is
[20:35] Speaker 2: a great time to ask, because I have definitely been
[20:38] Speaker 2: on the receiving and of unsolicited advice and opinions about
[20:43] Speaker 2: my love life and the decisions that I make and
[20:45] Speaker 2: how I choose to do things. And it's just like,
[20:47] Speaker 2: hold up because I know I didn't ask you. That's
[20:50] Speaker 2: not typically something I do. So if I am asking,
[20:54] Speaker 2: I would only ask specific people, right because I know
[20:58] Speaker 2: I trust that they will handle my feelings with care,
[21:01] Speaker 2: and I value their opinion because I think that they're
[21:04] Speaker 2: going to give me good advice or guidance based on
[21:07] Speaker 2: me in my life, not what they would do or
[21:10] Speaker 2: what they want they.
[21:12] Speaker 1: Want to start off, well, if I.
[21:14] Speaker 2: Was, but you're not. So if you don't, and so
[21:18] Speaker 2: if you can't put yourself in my shoes, don't even
[21:21] Speaker 2: come to me like that. Like I like to talk
[21:25] Speaker 2: to people who have some level of empathy. If you
[21:28] Speaker 2: cannot relate or even try to put yourself in in
[21:34] Speaker 2: my point of view, then what is the point of
[21:36] Speaker 2: you telling me anything? Because you're basing everything off of
[21:39] Speaker 2: your own experiences and your own desires, and that's not helpful.
[21:43] Speaker 2: Why the fuck are you telling me? Because I know
[21:44] Speaker 2: I didn't ask. I am very specific about who I
[21:48] Speaker 2: ask advice for, and it's always unsettling. I'll never forget.
[21:53] Speaker 2: I was at a birthday dinner some years ago and
[21:57] Speaker 2: a friend started asking me questions about my love like
[22:01] Speaker 2: it was, and I was. I was annoyed and frustrating
[22:05] Speaker 2: because it's frustrated because it's like, first of all, this
[22:08] Speaker 2: isn't my birthday dinner. I'm a guess, just like you're
[22:10] Speaker 2: a guess. Why are you bringing this up here? And
[22:12] Speaker 2: why are you trying to press me about choices I'm
[22:16] Speaker 2: making in my life when I didn't show up complaining.
[22:18] Speaker 2: I'm very happy. Actually I wasn't complaining about anything. You
[22:22] Speaker 2: don't like it for whatever reason?
[22:24] Speaker 1: Why? Why bother? And I've had to ask myself that before.
[22:28] Speaker 1: Why are you?
[22:30] Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah?
[22:32] Speaker 1: Some are you hungry?
[22:34] Speaker 2: Please? That would that would solve so many problems. You
[22:37] Speaker 2: can just drink a little into cloud or smoke and
[22:39] Speaker 2: eat it whatever you gotta do. But yeah, that has
[22:41] Speaker 2: been on my mind a lot, thinking about those kids
[22:44] Speaker 2: and then just thinking about real life situations now Another
[22:50] Speaker 2: thing that came up was somebody is in Like, tell
[22:55] Speaker 2: me if you've ever be in a situation like this,
[22:56] Speaker 2: like you're dating somebody and you be become friends with
[23:02] Speaker 2: their friend's significant other. So maybe like your boyfriend's best
[23:07] Speaker 2: friend's girlfriend and they are pushing you to have this
[23:11] Speaker 2: relationship with this other girl. Then y'all get cool. And
[23:14] Speaker 2: now the other couple is breaking up and they want
[23:18] Speaker 2: he wants you to put distance. How do you feel
[23:19] Speaker 2: about that if you have actually become a real friend
[23:22] Speaker 2: to this person.
[23:23] Speaker 1: Currently in my the entre point, I think that it's
[23:30] Speaker 1: and I really do stand on this, and I have
[23:31] Speaker 1: to check myself at times too. I am not I
[23:34] Speaker 1: do not want to be in the business of telling
[23:37] Speaker 1: somebody what to do when it comes to your life
[23:40] Speaker 1: if there is a ring, but especially if it ain't
[23:42] Speaker 1: no ring. Especially I just experienced a nigga flick me
[23:46] Speaker 1: right on out his life like it didn't matter, you
[23:49] Speaker 1: know what I mean. It's like, so this this is
[23:51] Speaker 1: not we can have the conversation, but the conversation is
[23:54] Speaker 1: just gonna be the conversation if I really fuck with
[23:56] Speaker 1: her now and I'm telling you, I'm telling you this
[23:59] Speaker 1: is a friend. We have to figure out, don't. I
[24:01] Speaker 1: don't even want to use the language of like, we
[24:03] Speaker 1: have to figure this out respectfully. She's my friend, and
[24:07] Speaker 1: y'all like, I don't know really what else to do
[24:09] Speaker 1: because I don't I don't even want to invite people
[24:11] Speaker 1: in my life anymore. Where it's like you're like, you
[24:13] Speaker 1: can't be friends with that person? Who do you think
[24:15] Speaker 1: you are? Actually to tell anybody? And I would tell
[24:18] Speaker 1: myself this, who do you think you are to be?
[24:21] Speaker 1: Like he can't be friends with his ex? You can't
[24:23] Speaker 1: do this. No, I'm not doing that. I want to
[24:28] Speaker 1: be secure. I'm not fully there yet. But that means
[24:30] Speaker 1: you got to check it. You gotta call it out,
[24:32] Speaker 1: and you have to it's a practice. So if somebody
[24:34] Speaker 1: was like, well, I know, we wanted y'all to be
[24:36] Speaker 1: friends with it they breaking up in my homeboy, don't
[24:39] Speaker 1: want y'all to be friendsy. But first of all, that's gay,
[24:41] Speaker 1: Like stop like grow up, you know, like grow up now.
[24:47] Speaker 2: It's funny that she said that because a person who's
[24:49] Speaker 2: going through that, that's what she said. She was like,
[24:51] Speaker 2: first of all, this is kind of gay. But I
[24:54] Speaker 2: was like, even besides that, it's like, what, what's the reason?
[24:58] Speaker 2: Because then my wheel starts like I'm about to write
[25:01] Speaker 2: the next big box office thriller. Why can't I be
[25:04] Speaker 2: friends with this third party person? Because is it you
[25:08] Speaker 2: or is it your friend? Because do you think that
[25:10] Speaker 2: she gonna tell me something that you don't want me
[25:12] Speaker 2: to know? Or you think I'm gonna go out Because
[25:15] Speaker 2: if you think I'm gonna go out with her and
[25:17] Speaker 2: now she's single and you're scared of how I'm gonna
[25:19] Speaker 2: act with a single friend, you don't really trust me.
[25:22] Speaker 2: Because if our relationship is good, what difference does it make?
[25:25] Speaker 2: Then we can have a conversation about respecting the relationship.
[25:27] Speaker 2: But we don't need to have a conversation if there
[25:29] Speaker 2: have been no transgressions. So what are we really talking about?
[25:32] Speaker 1: One?
[25:33] Speaker 2: Two? Why are you bringing another? You pushed me to
[25:36] Speaker 2: be this person's friend. I'm sure I had hesitations for
[25:39] Speaker 2: this very reason. And now I'm gonna say I told
[25:41] Speaker 2: you so, and I'm also gonna ask why not that
[25:45] Speaker 2: it will make a difference.
[25:46] Speaker 1: And if you articulate, because sometimes when you ask why
[25:50] Speaker 1: people just because it's not If you can articulate why
[25:54] Speaker 1: she tried to stab him, I don't know if it
[25:56] Speaker 1: was really something like.
[25:58] Speaker 2: A thief she was scamming p Okay, so why did
[26:01] Speaker 2: you want me to be her friend in the first place?
[26:03] Speaker 2: But this is more understandable now you found out some
[26:05] Speaker 2: more things and you're concerned about my safety. But that
[26:08] Speaker 2: wasn't what was going on. Yeah, I was just wondering
[26:11] Speaker 2: how we would handle that.
[26:13] Speaker 1: And I truly think these types of conversations it helps
[26:17] Speaker 1: you and me really think about what relationships you start
[26:23] Speaker 1: for me and not pushing friends on each other, you
[26:25] Speaker 1: know what I mean, just because you think a little
[26:27] Speaker 1: bit harder about like, oh, you know, if this doesn't
[26:29] Speaker 1: what I said, mind your business and let things happen naturally.
[26:33] Speaker 1: I was gonna say about with the whole like not
[26:35] Speaker 1: liking somebody significant other or even have you ever been
[26:37] Speaker 1: in a group setting with multiple friends and everybody's jumping
[26:41] Speaker 1: on one friend that makes me uncomfortable? I'm and there's
[26:45] Speaker 1: one friend group that I've honestly distanced myself from because
[26:48] Speaker 1: it's just too messy. And one of the friends still
[26:50] Speaker 1: calls me, and she recently called and talked about like
[26:53] Speaker 1: a situation with a guy that you likes. She was like,
[26:55] Speaker 1: I trust you with this, so I want to And
[26:57] Speaker 1: that's it made me feel so good because I hate
[27:00] Speaker 1: to be the frame where it like everybody's like, I
[27:01] Speaker 1: don't want to tell you because you're going to judge
[27:02] Speaker 1: and say what you would do when people be saying
[27:04] Speaker 1: I would do, and it's like you got the negative.
[27:06] Speaker 1: You not even doing what you would stop Like anyway
[27:09] Speaker 1: she calls me, tells the situation that's going on. And now,
[27:11] Speaker 1: since I read books and I really do try to
[27:14] Speaker 1: learn the human brain and just are how we function
[27:16] Speaker 1: in our experiences, I said, if you like him, put
[27:22] Speaker 1: yourself in his shoes, I'm not even going it's not
[27:25] Speaker 1: even about us like you talk about you want these
[27:28] Speaker 1: certain things. Are you able to like, how do you
[27:31] Speaker 1: actually feel about this person? Do you want to really
[27:33] Speaker 1: spend time with him? Or do you need something else friends?
[27:36] Speaker 1: Or do you just need attention? And that's you don't
[27:38] Speaker 1: even have to tell me that. You don't have to
[27:39] Speaker 1: tell me that answer.
[27:41] Speaker 2: You want to spend something that you need to have
[27:43] Speaker 2: conversation with in the mirror.
[27:45] Speaker 1: Do you want think about what you want your life
[27:47] Speaker 1: to look like? My advice has now it's not even advice,
[27:49] Speaker 1: it's just conversation and advice that I would give myself
[27:52] Speaker 1: when you look at some of the things nobody's perfect
[27:55] Speaker 1: right now, look at your life, look at some of
[27:57] Speaker 1: the things you don't have together? Now, what what are
[28:00] Speaker 1: we really comparing here? Is he going through a moment
[28:02] Speaker 1: in life? Do you not really like him? And? Like
[28:04] Speaker 1: I said, do you need something else? Because that's okay.
[28:08] Speaker 1: Sometimes we really need to hear it's okay that some
[28:13] Speaker 1: of the men be messing up. Sometimes we mess up, right,
[28:15] Speaker 1: we don't have everything together. You Sometimes you want time
[28:19] Speaker 1: with someone and you want the man to give you
[28:20] Speaker 1: time and take you on these days you don't even
[28:22] Speaker 1: have time. You're a doctor, like you know what I mean?
[28:25] Speaker 1: So do you really need attention? How about you call
[28:27] Speaker 1: him and ask him what his mental state is like?
[28:29] Speaker 1: Is he okay? Why don't you try that and then
[28:31] Speaker 1: tell me how that conversation goes.
[28:32] Speaker 2: Yeah. Sometimes I think that people spend a lot of
[28:35] Speaker 2: time in their heads about another person, their relationship, this guy,
[28:41] Speaker 2: they like, this girl, they like whatever, And it's like
[28:44] Speaker 2: you calling me. Have you talked to them about this?
[28:46] Speaker 2: Have you shared any of your feelings? Because you also
[28:49] Speaker 2: don't know what's stewing and brewing in the other person's head.
[28:53] Speaker 2: And I know I for one, I don't like playing
[28:55] Speaker 2: all these games. I would prefer like, if you're not
[29:00] Speaker 2: feeling me like, let me know, and it's it would
[29:02] Speaker 2: be so much easier for you to let me know
[29:04] Speaker 2: than to stream me along. So you have to ask yourself,
[29:06] Speaker 2: do you really care about a person? Do you really
[29:08] Speaker 2: like this person? Do you see something serious with them
[29:12] Speaker 2: or not? And if you don't know, then keep dating,
[29:15] Speaker 2: keep trying to figure it out, keep getting to know
[29:17] Speaker 2: the person. You also don't have to have it all
[29:19] Speaker 2: figured out at the end of the first day. Sometimes
[29:21] Speaker 2: I think people are rushing and jumping to conclusions and
[29:23] Speaker 2: trying to figure out if this is the right person.
[29:26] Speaker 2: Like even when we're getting these advice emails, we see
[29:29] Speaker 2: a lot of them where people are talking about how
[29:32] Speaker 2: can they get this guy right? And we always give
[29:36] Speaker 2: different answers, but it always comes back to you need
[29:39] Speaker 2: to be happy, You need to give your best put
[29:42] Speaker 2: your best foot forward, and you having good energy will
[29:45] Speaker 2: attract good people and you got to start there. But
[29:49] Speaker 2: you have to ask yourself what you want. We can't
[29:51] Speaker 2: tell you because what.
[29:52] Speaker 1: You want say this, I don't know anything. I just
[29:56] Speaker 1: was saying, how I say all these things? And then
[29:57] Speaker 1: it's like when your face is something you maybe don't
[30:00] Speaker 1: do what you think you would have done. I don't
[30:02] Speaker 1: know anything, but I can tell you would've read. I
[30:04] Speaker 1: read in a book recently. I'm reading All the Way
[30:06] Speaker 1: to the Way, All the Way to the River by
[30:08] Speaker 1: Elizabeth Gilbert, and it's a story about her losing herself
[30:11] Speaker 1: in people. And one of the lines is said, she
[30:13] Speaker 1: said heard her ex who she loved a lot, who died.
[30:18] Speaker 1: She said she came to her in spirit for him
[30:20] Speaker 1: and said, live you if you're gonna spiral out of
[30:23] Speaker 1: control and and and do it for anybody, do it
[30:26] Speaker 1: for your own life. And if that stuck with me,
[30:29] Speaker 1: because it's like sometimes as women, I'm not evenna make
[30:31] Speaker 1: it a gender thing. Men do it too. You spend
[30:33] Speaker 1: so much time losing control and spiraling out of control
[30:37] Speaker 1: over somebody else's life, and it can mean small things.
[30:40] Speaker 1: He's messy, she's messy. He's not on time. Okay, he's
[30:44] Speaker 1: not on time. Are you on time? If you're on
[30:47] Speaker 1: time and he's not on time, don't ride together. That's that.
[30:51] Speaker 1: That's it.
[30:53] Speaker 2: There's so many things you can do and to try
[30:55] Speaker 2: to force something because nothing changes don't ever stick. I
[31:00] Speaker 2: didn't actually want to make the change. They have to
[31:03] Speaker 2: want the change. They have to see the error in
[31:06] Speaker 2: their ways and figure it out for themselves. Because that's
[31:09] Speaker 2: why sometimes y'all send us these emails and you're saying, oh,
[31:13] Speaker 2: we talked about this thing, so kudos to you for
[31:15] Speaker 2: bringing it up and y'all having a conversation, and then
[31:17] Speaker 2: it changed. But then it went back, well, he was
[31:19] Speaker 2: just changing for you. He wasn't really changing. It wasn't
[31:23] Speaker 2: going to be a lasting change, and that's not something
[31:26] Speaker 2: you should want. You want people to be themselves instead
[31:31] Speaker 2: of trying to force them to be the person you
[31:34] Speaker 2: want them to be, because you like the package they come.
[31:36] Speaker 1: In, and that is something that takes you looking at yourself.
[31:39] Speaker 1: And I keep saying I'm doing it with y'all because
[31:41] Speaker 1: I don't like it, feeling like I don't like them.
[31:43] Speaker 1: People when you asked me a question, they telling you
[31:44] Speaker 1: just like what you Anyway, I recently went on I
[31:48] Speaker 1: met a guy and we kind of been on several dates,
[31:50] Speaker 1: and I told him this, and I had to tell
[31:52] Speaker 1: myself this first, and I had to have a conversation
[31:54] Speaker 1: with God. He asked me a question. It was such
[31:57] Speaker 1: a good question, Giki. He said, what's something from your
[31:59] Speaker 1: last life relationship that was said to you that was
[32:02] Speaker 1: maybe you didn't like to hear it, but it was true.
[32:04] Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, that's a good one. I
[32:06] Speaker 1: was like, I'll just I'll tell you one of the
[32:07] Speaker 1: things he said, I lacked discipline, and I said, when
[32:11] Speaker 1: I thought about it and the work that I've been doing,
[32:14] Speaker 1: it hurt my feelings. But he wasn't wrong. I look
[32:17] Speaker 1: at how I work out. I'll work out until I
[32:18] Speaker 1: see what I like and i'm doing you know what
[32:21] Speaker 1: I mean. It's like I have to really like, I
[32:24] Speaker 1: ain't quit this podcast because I love it. Even though
[32:26] Speaker 1: we've hit we've done. I'm disciplined with certain things. I
[32:29] Speaker 1: have to really I really want to. There are some
[32:31] Speaker 1: people where it's like they're like, I'm gonna do this
[32:32] Speaker 1: and I'm gonna do it and I'm doing very militant
[32:35] Speaker 1: about it. And he was, I'm not. I'm not like that.
[32:38] Speaker 1: And I also I'm with you.
[32:40] Speaker 2: I'm like you certain things.
[32:41] Speaker 1: Yes, it'd be two things I'm disciplined about yeou Yeah,
[32:45] Speaker 1: And it's my sugar intaking cocktails. M h.
[32:48] Speaker 2: And those couldn't change. Sometimes, you know, I can only
[32:51] Speaker 2: handle two to be super serious about and everything else.
[32:54] Speaker 2: It's like it becomes mental overload.
[32:57] Speaker 1: But it felt good to finally be I've never been
[32:59] Speaker 1: honest that, And so I told it's funny because I'm trying.
[33:02] Speaker 1: I can only try. And I told him he had
[33:05] Speaker 1: planned out a week of things for us to do,
[33:07] Speaker 1: and I had to tell him stop why Because I'm
[33:12] Speaker 1: not disciplined and I'm trying. There are things I have
[33:14] Speaker 1: to work on and I gotta get him done, and
[33:17] Speaker 1: I will become consumed in a man. My whole point
[33:19] Speaker 1: of saying this is you have to work on yourself
[33:22] Speaker 1: and don't get lost in someone else's world and their
[33:25] Speaker 1: life and their messiness get lost in yours.
[33:28] Speaker 2: I feel you on that. I was having a conversation
[33:30] Speaker 2: with this man and he was telling me he felt
[33:33] Speaker 2: like he was losing his discipline. He's very disciplined, but
[33:38] Speaker 2: he was losing it trying to accommodate me. And so
[33:42] Speaker 2: I was like, oh, okay, I didn't realize that, so
[33:46] Speaker 2: let's talk about it. I don't want you to ever
[33:50] Speaker 2: compromise the things that you have to do for yourself
[33:53] Speaker 2: I ask. I might not like to hear no. I
[33:57] Speaker 2: might not like to hear that you can't do something,
[33:59] Speaker 2: but I can and accept it.
[34:01] Speaker 1: Now.
[34:01] Speaker 2: Don't expect me to always be happy if the answer
[34:03] Speaker 2: is no, because sometimes I do want it to be
[34:05] Speaker 2: a yes. But inside I know you're not a servant
[34:09] Speaker 2: to me. You don't have to do everything that I
[34:11] Speaker 2: ask you to do, so it's okay, And I need
[34:15] Speaker 2: you to get to a point where you're comfortable telling
[34:18] Speaker 2: me no, because I'm still gonna ask. I will. What
[34:21] Speaker 2: I can do, though, is to try to be more
[34:23] Speaker 2: cognizant and ask you first, like do you have something
[34:25] Speaker 2: going on this day? Do you mind helping me with
[34:28] Speaker 2: something tomorrow? And try to plan a little bit in advance,
[34:32] Speaker 2: because I know something that I've realized about myself. The
[34:35] Speaker 2: smallest change on a day of throws my whole day,
[34:39] Speaker 2: and it is so irrational and it shouldn't be like that.
[34:42] Speaker 2: But if something goes wrong at ten fifteen am, it
[34:45] Speaker 2: doesn't matter that it's nine thirty. I'm probably still gonna
[34:48] Speaker 2: be irritated and it has just thrown me off because
[34:50] Speaker 2: I didn't plan for this. And this is how I
[34:52] Speaker 2: needed things to go. But I think I guess I'm
[34:55] Speaker 2: saying all this to say, you've got to be more
[34:57] Speaker 2: self aware about who you are, what you're doing, and
[35:00] Speaker 2: how you're moving about the world and managing these relationships,
[35:03] Speaker 2: but also be able to talk to another person. And
[35:06] Speaker 2: if you find that you're getting the short end of
[35:08] Speaker 2: the stick all the time, then you gotta switch things up.
[35:12] Speaker 1: And I think it's beautiful that you said like you
[35:15] Speaker 1: heard it, you had the conversation. I can hear you
[35:18] Speaker 1: out and we can talk about this and it's not
[35:19] Speaker 1: a fallout, bust down fight. If things are turning into
[35:24] Speaker 1: that all the time, there is internal work that needs
[35:29] Speaker 1: to be done. We always talk about love and the
[35:31] Speaker 1: beautiful parts, but that's not the main part of love.
[35:33] Speaker 1: Love is telling people know. Love is someone tells you
[35:37] Speaker 1: an insecurity and you're like, love is reassurance. Love is
[35:40] Speaker 1: all of these things that it doesn't really get talked about.
[35:43] Speaker 1: And it's like if we can sit here and have
[35:44] Speaker 1: a conversation about something you don't like or something you
[35:47] Speaker 1: think I made you feel this way, and I can
[35:48] Speaker 1: explain to you like, Okay, this is like some internal
[35:50] Speaker 1: work you need to do. I'm gonna do what I
[35:51] Speaker 1: need to do, but also we all got to work
[35:55] Speaker 1: on ourselves. That's the loving part. I want to the
[35:57] Speaker 1: next time I fall in love with someone, if I
[35:59] Speaker 1: can even do it, I want to love you so
[36:03] Speaker 1: much that I have done the work on me so
[36:07] Speaker 1: that I don't come into your life and cause the
[36:09] Speaker 1: chaos that I know I can.
[36:10] Speaker 2: Yeah, and also being self aware enough to know that
[36:15] Speaker 2: you telling me that you don't like something that I do,
[36:18] Speaker 2: you don't like a character flaw, or you know, just
[36:22] Speaker 2: whatever it is about me doesn't mean that it's the
[36:25] Speaker 2: end of the world. We also have to accept that
[36:27] Speaker 2: sometimes people do care about you enough that they want
[36:29] Speaker 2: to tell you what it is that they don't like,
[36:31] Speaker 2: because maybe you don't realize it. I've been told a
[36:33] Speaker 2: lot of things about myself that I honestly didn't realize
[36:35] Speaker 2: because I just thought about things so differently than whoever
[36:40] Speaker 2: was telling me. So it's like, Okay, before I get
[36:42] Speaker 2: stage ten mad and turn into the hula, take a
[36:46] Speaker 2: beat and like reflect, do they have a point? They
[36:49] Speaker 2: usually do, especially if they're citing examples, And then you
[36:53] Speaker 2: figure out, okay, well, how do I feel about this
[36:55] Speaker 2: now that you know that this is how you're making
[36:57] Speaker 2: people feel, even if it wasn't your intention. What are
[37:00] Speaker 2: you going to do about it? And you've got to
[37:02] Speaker 2: like be consciously working on fixing that every day because
[37:08] Speaker 2: when you don't, you got to think about both sides
[37:11] Speaker 2: of that coin. When you're not working on it, what
[37:13] Speaker 2: was the point of you acting like you were? Now
[37:15] Speaker 2: you're playing games with the person. They don't deserve that.
[37:17] Speaker 2: They came to you and they told you what it
[37:19] Speaker 2: was that they didn't like that was bothering them. Now
[37:22] Speaker 2: it's on you. They did the hard part of opening up.
[37:25] Speaker 2: Think about how hard it is for y'all to tell
[37:27] Speaker 2: the actual person you're dating the issues that you have.
[37:30] Speaker 2: It's so much easier for y'all to send us an email.
[37:32] Speaker 1: We talked about Everyone said they're not gonna tell nobody
[37:35] Speaker 1: their breastincs.
[37:36] Speaker 2: Yeah, I would just be done with them. But somebody
[37:40] Speaker 2: that is deeper with it's like, this is really annoying me.
[37:42] Speaker 2: Do I want to lose this person over the issue
[37:45] Speaker 2: or am I going to take a chance and bring
[37:46] Speaker 2: it up because maybe they don't realize it, And maybe
[37:49] Speaker 2: they do realize it, but they didn't think it was
[37:51] Speaker 2: a big deal. And it is a big deal to you.
[37:53] Speaker 2: Maybe the last bitch wasn't no issue, but this bitch
[37:56] Speaker 2: it is an issue. So much work, but you got
[37:59] Speaker 2: to talk to the people or the person that you're
[38:03] Speaker 2: having the issue with, because nobody's gonna know them better
[38:07] Speaker 2: than them.
[38:07] Speaker 1: And you really would be surprised at how much when
[38:10] Speaker 1: you have these conversations they do get easier. They get easier,
[38:13] Speaker 1: They get easier, and it brings you closer to somebody
[38:15] Speaker 1: or it pushes you away and it's not who you're
[38:16] Speaker 1: supposed to be with. Get some into cloud drink. It
[38:19] Speaker 1: helps conversations flow easier. And the conversation don't angs have
[38:22] Speaker 1: to be had in the house. That's one thing my
[38:24] Speaker 1: therapist told me to go outside sometimes make this a
[38:27] Speaker 1: date and do it like at a picnic or do
[38:30] Speaker 1: it at a restaurant. It doesn't have to be like
[38:32] Speaker 1: we're at the house and it's this big serious talk
[38:34] Speaker 1: and we got to sit here and be mad. It's like, no,
[38:35] Speaker 1: let's go on a date and I'm bringing it up
[38:37] Speaker 1: over drinks.
[38:38] Speaker 2: I like to do it walking on the belt line
[38:41] Speaker 2: without the drinks, because of drinks sometimes depend on the
[38:44] Speaker 2: issue that could send drinking Hanny or tequila. Sometimes Vaka
[38:50] Speaker 2: makes you want to fight. I mean, I just don't know,
[38:52] Speaker 2: Jim makes you sin. It's just so many things could happen.
[38:55] Speaker 2: But just like being outside, because it's also like I
[38:59] Speaker 2: don't want to leave that energy in inside the home,
[39:02] Speaker 2: your home, my home, wherever, or feeling like you're stuff.
[39:05] Speaker 2: We can be outside, we can be walking doing something else.
[39:08] Speaker 2: Un let's just talk while we're trying to be calm
[39:11] Speaker 2: and doing something else. But yeah, I just that happened
[39:15] Speaker 2: on my mind because I was thinking, who the fuck
[39:17] Speaker 2: really acts like this? And then I thought about some
[39:19] Speaker 2: people who act like this, and I said, hmm, maybe
[39:21] Speaker 2: we need to talk about this on the show.
[39:22] Speaker 1: I gotta aunt to act like this. Every time somebodys
[39:25] Speaker 1: she talking about everybody, I'll just be looking like she might.
[39:27] Speaker 1: So I'm not saying nothing like I be looking like
[39:30] Speaker 1: why are you?
[39:35] Speaker 2: I think that a lot of times it is that
[39:37] Speaker 2: it's that people are projecting their own feelings in security, shortcomings,
[39:41] Speaker 2: whatever it is, and that happens. I have some family
[39:44] Speaker 2: members who can be like that, and knowing that they're
[39:48] Speaker 2: like that makes it easier to let the things that
[39:50] Speaker 2: they say just kind of roll off of you. But
[39:52] Speaker 2: it doesn't for me at least, it doesn't make me
[39:55] Speaker 2: feel like, oh, it doesn't matter. No, it doesn't matter,
[39:57] Speaker 2: because why the fuck are you saying this? Because if
[40:00] Speaker 2: I get going and start talking about you in your situation,
[40:03] Speaker 2: then it's gonna be like, Okay, it's so mean. She
[40:05] Speaker 2: hit below the belt. Nah, bitch, you took it to hell,
[40:07] Speaker 2: I'm gonna take it lower. I don't think we need
[40:10] Speaker 2: to do that.
[40:12] Speaker 1: Yeah, sometimes I'll be looking when people have ever had
[40:15] Speaker 1: anything to say about like my situations, or like when
[40:18] Speaker 1: I did Carlosen had all the tattoos, and everybody just
[40:21] Speaker 1: was like looking at a lot of people did. And
[40:24] Speaker 1: I used to look at some of the people and
[40:25] Speaker 1: be like, y'all worry about tatoos, but y'all marry some
[40:27] Speaker 1: of these niggas. That is doing worse than tattoos.
[40:30] Speaker 2: You married a loser.
[40:31] Speaker 1: You we beating your ass, you know what I mean.
[40:33] Speaker 1: It's like I'll be looking like, don't talk about me.
[40:36] Speaker 1: Don't like said I'll ruin the family.
[40:38] Speaker 2: Mm hmmm, do you really want me to shake the table?
[40:41] Speaker 2: I remember one time I got so mad I had
[40:44] Speaker 2: gone to where I go. I don't know, but I
[40:48] Speaker 2: was in Oh. I was in Texas. This might have
[40:51] Speaker 2: been a year or two ago with my family because
[40:54] Speaker 2: my youngest sister who's still engaged, no wedding date yet,
[40:58] Speaker 2: but she was doing a bridal thing, like we went
[41:01] Speaker 2: to watch her try on dresses and we went to
[41:03] Speaker 2: eat afterwards, and one of my aunts was saying something
[41:06] Speaker 2: about the kind of man that I needed to be with,
[41:08] Speaker 2: and then my sister's like, oh, well, isn't she dating
[41:11] Speaker 2: that one guy? Uh, the one that be going with
[41:13] Speaker 2: me everywhere? And she was just like, oh, I think
[41:18] Speaker 2: you should date an Asian man. And we was all like,
[41:21] Speaker 2: excuse me. First of all, he ain't did nothing to
[41:23] Speaker 2: you but be nice, and I feel like you're taking
[41:26] Speaker 2: a dig at him, and nobody asked you. I wasn't
[41:29] Speaker 2: asking for dating. I'm like, why don't you date an
[41:31] Speaker 2: Asian man? Because I know you're unhappy? That's what I
[41:34] Speaker 2: really be wondering sometimes, like why would you fix your
[41:37] Speaker 2: mouth to say that? Ended upset me and I got mad,
[41:39] Speaker 2: so I just told my mama, so she handled it.
[41:42] Speaker 2: But it was really frustrating because it's like, wow, one
[41:45] Speaker 2: who asked you two? Why do you feel so comfortable
[41:50] Speaker 2: to put somebody down. I've never said anything negative about him,
[41:54] Speaker 2: Jenny of y'all, So y'all don't have no reason to
[41:57] Speaker 2: feel this way. What's the chatter about? And so that
[42:01] Speaker 2: made me feel like this is a situation where it's
[42:04] Speaker 2: more about how you feel about your own choices, your
[42:06] Speaker 2: own life, your own desires, and it has less to
[42:09] Speaker 2: do about me. You've never asked me what I want
[42:11] Speaker 2: a person. You've never asked me what I'm attracted to.
[42:14] Speaker 2: You never asked me what this man does for me
[42:17] Speaker 2: or why I love and care about him. You don't
[42:20] Speaker 2: ask me those questions. You just make an assumptions because
[42:23] Speaker 2: I don't know what you were doing watching K pop,
[42:26] Speaker 2: Demon Hunters or what. And now all of a sudden
[42:28] Speaker 2: you're like, oh, you should be with an age man. First
[42:29] Speaker 2: of all, you obviously don't know me, because everybody know
[42:31] Speaker 2: I like black men. Second, you don't say stuff like
[42:35] Speaker 2: that to people. That is a prime example of doing
[42:38] Speaker 2: too much. Now, I will say later she apologized. I
[42:41] Speaker 2: guess she thought it was all fun and games, and
[42:43] Speaker 2: I was highly offended because I was like, don't do
[42:45] Speaker 2: that ever again, Like I especially don't like it when
[42:50] Speaker 2: people do that, and you don't have anything bad, You
[42:53] Speaker 2: don't know anything bad about the person. You have no
[42:55] Speaker 2: reason to do this. They've been nothing but nice and
[42:58] Speaker 2: it's helpful to me and supportive of me. So why
[43:01] Speaker 2: would that be a problem for you for this imaginary
[43:04] Speaker 2: Korean man? Like, what are we even talking about?
[43:07] Speaker 1: Agreement?
[43:08] Speaker 2: Yeah, I was really mad about that, Like and then
[43:10] Speaker 2: to say somebody else. He didn't even say an African king,
[43:12] Speaker 2: You said a Korean.
[43:13] Speaker 1: Like what is I'll never forget it. Sometimes they don't
[43:16] Speaker 1: even have to do a relationships. I'll never forget. This
[43:17] Speaker 1: was right around the time when I decided I wasn't
[43:19] Speaker 1: going to finish school, and I was very insecure about it,
[43:21] Speaker 1: and it was just so I was so my mom
[43:23] Speaker 1: was mad, even though she be acting like when she was.
[43:25] Speaker 1: And I'll never forget my mom was. She hadn't retired yet,
[43:27] Speaker 1: she was still at the airport and I had flew
[43:29] Speaker 1: in from Atlanta and one of her friends who I
[43:30] Speaker 1: don't like because of this. It's always something with that
[43:34] Speaker 1: one friend that you don't like, and she she and
[43:37] Speaker 1: my mom are still friends with her. Anyways, my mom
[43:40] Speaker 1: knows how I feel without this, but I got my
[43:41] Speaker 1: look back, And I'm not even a lick back person,
[43:43] Speaker 1: but I can't.
[43:45] Speaker 2: Especially when it's an older woman who thinks that they
[43:48] Speaker 2: got you, and it's like, maybe I am forty years old,
[43:50] Speaker 2: damn near.
[43:52] Speaker 1: This was fresh when it happened. I was at the
[43:54] Speaker 1: airport my mom. I was walking with my mom and
[43:57] Speaker 1: the friend walked up. She worked at the airport too,
[43:59] Speaker 1: and I'll never forget. She was like, why would you
[44:02] Speaker 1: disappoint your parents and drop out of school like that?
[44:05] Speaker 1: She said, it was like no high No and I
[44:11] Speaker 1: and it's like we were with people. It was so
[44:15] Speaker 1: with me my mom. No, it was like me and
[44:17] Speaker 1: my mom. I think myself, I can't remember who I
[44:18] Speaker 1: was there, but my mom's there. And my mom was
[44:20] Speaker 1: even looking like why would you say that? Why would
[44:22] Speaker 1: you say that? And my mom like removed us from
[44:24] Speaker 1: the It was just so mean, so.
[44:26] Speaker 2: She had she had to get in there.
[44:28] Speaker 1: Yeah, my mom had to get in there and handle it.
[44:29] Speaker 1: And I like walked away. And I never liked that
[44:31] Speaker 1: lady to this day. I know it's suposed to forgive,
[44:33] Speaker 1: but I'm not perfect, and so one time a few.
[44:35] Speaker 2: Years forgive, but you don't have to forget.
[44:38] Speaker 1: Yeah, they my mom and her friends do these trips,
[44:41] Speaker 1: these these cabin trips every year. They are always traveling
[44:44] Speaker 1: together and it's a large group of friends. So my
[44:45] Speaker 1: mom kind of distanced herself from the lady, but she's
[44:47] Speaker 1: still in the friend group now. She gets on FaceTime
[44:49] Speaker 1: and she was like, what are you and this man
[44:51] Speaker 1: gonna get married? This is when I was still in
[44:52] Speaker 1: my relationship. She was like, because I ain't got no
[44:54] Speaker 1: invite And I said, you you're not getting My mom
[44:57] Speaker 1: was like, I said, what what you know? I don't
[45:00] Speaker 1: like her? Like, I don't know what to tell. I'm
[45:01] Speaker 1: grown now you won't You would never get invited to
[45:05] Speaker 1: anything I do.
[45:06] Speaker 2: And my mom was like, why would you get all
[45:08] Speaker 2: my nerves and ask me a stupid question like this?
[45:11] Speaker 1: You think I forgot what you said? Because she probably forgot,
[45:13] Speaker 1: but that really that scarred me.
[45:15] Speaker 2: When people make comments, whether it's a question or a
[45:18] Speaker 2: comment or statement, and sometimes you forget what they said,
[45:23] Speaker 2: you never forget how they made you. That sounds like
[45:26] Speaker 2: one of those moments, like why would you say that? Yeap?
[45:30] Speaker 2: My mama likes to pretend like she's always been supportive
[45:33] Speaker 2: of cocktails, and I'd be quick.
[45:34] Speaker 1: To so many people in my family.
[45:36] Speaker 2: She has been very supportive. I won't take that away
[45:39] Speaker 2: from her. I mean she even pulled out a bag
[45:41] Speaker 2: of dicks on a Bonus episode in twenty twenty, and
[45:45] Speaker 2: she drank damn near a butter. I mean, she got
[45:47] Speaker 2: lit for the episode, and I will forever be grateful
[45:49] Speaker 2: for that. But I had to remind her. You were
[45:53] Speaker 2: constantly and even now she still does it sometimes. And
[45:55] Speaker 2: I was like, when I decided to change my major
[45:59] Speaker 2: and I told you I wasn't going to law school,
[46:01] Speaker 2: I wanted to pursue a career in media, initially journalism,
[46:05] Speaker 2: but then I was just like, just media because I
[46:06] Speaker 2: actually want to be a personality versus having to give
[46:09] Speaker 2: unbiased news. I'm way too biased for that. You kept
[46:14] Speaker 2: telling me how I wouldn't make any money doing that,
[46:17] Speaker 2: and I needed to pick something safer, which I get it.
[46:21] Speaker 2: As a parent, you want your kid to have some stability.
[46:24] Speaker 2: So I wasn't all the way mad, but I'm like,
[46:26] Speaker 2: let's not rewrite history. Hunt. You was not feeling it
[46:29] Speaker 2: at first until you saw like probably it was probably
[46:33] Speaker 2: a few times being in Dallas and just being out,
[46:35] Speaker 2: and I love when y'all come up to us, especially
[46:39] Speaker 2: with if you ever see me with anybody and you
[46:41] Speaker 2: listen to the show, polup and I promise I will
[46:45] Speaker 2: not deny you, even if I'm looking busted and disgusted.
[46:48] Speaker 2: I will take a picture. I will do whatever.
[46:51] Speaker 1: I know y'all like us, some people don't part of
[46:53] Speaker 1: that part just come up, like come on now, just
[46:58] Speaker 1: just yeah, just be.
[47:00] Speaker 2: Me up real quick while I'm in front of the people.
[47:02] Speaker 2: And I think when she started seeing more of that,
[47:04] Speaker 2: and then when I told her about selling out the shows,
[47:07] Speaker 2: but then when she saw it, and then Mallory went
[47:08] Speaker 2: back and told her and she had her videos, and
[47:12] Speaker 2: when she my mom has been to the shows and
[47:14] Speaker 2: she's been there to help us after you know, some time,
[47:18] Speaker 2: and she saw it, She's just like wow. And I
[47:20] Speaker 2: do believe that she is really proud of us. But
[47:23] Speaker 2: at first, no, it was given you need to be
[47:26] Speaker 2: applying for fifty eleven jobs and doing all of these things.
[47:29] Speaker 2: And I was like, mom, my mom was trying to
[47:33] Speaker 2: get me to get hooked up with the butcher at Albertson's.
[47:36] Speaker 2: And I was like, she was like, they make that money.
[47:39] Speaker 2: And I was like, okay, we have different ideas about that.
[47:41] Speaker 2: But that is not all I care about. Like I'm
[47:44] Speaker 2: trying to make my own good money and have my
[47:46] Speaker 2: own everything, and you're talking to me about the damn
[47:50] Speaker 2: booch Butcher, Like, why do you feel like I gotta
[47:53] Speaker 2: be with somebody right now? How did that work out
[47:55] Speaker 2: for you? Hmmm, I'm just saying, Okay. That reminded me
[48:02] Speaker 2: of that time we had that Thanksgiving with my granddad
[48:05] Speaker 2: was still here. It was like a Tyler Perry movie, y'all.
[48:08] Speaker 2: And this had to be like I don't know if
[48:10] Speaker 2: it's twenty eighteen or twenty nineteen. I feel like it
[48:12] Speaker 2: was twenty nineteen. But my mom is the oldest of
[48:15] Speaker 2: the girls. There's six kids, four girls, two boys. The
[48:19] Speaker 2: boys don't really count. My mom is the oldest. My
[48:21] Speaker 2: aunt that lives here that has Walker, she's the youngest.
[48:24] Speaker 2: They always but his. They're too much alike in the
[48:28] Speaker 2: wrong ways, I guess for them to truly be compatible.
[48:31] Speaker 2: But they got into a nasty argument. I won't rehash
[48:34] Speaker 2: the whole thing, but I just remember at the end,
[48:36] Speaker 2: my granddaddy stood up and this is when this is
[48:38] Speaker 2: the blind era, so he can't even see, and he
[48:42] Speaker 2: stood up and he yelled at them. It was like
[48:45] Speaker 2: the man version of Sicily Tyson at the end of
[48:47] Speaker 2: a Tyler Perry movie, where it's just like, you gotta
[48:49] Speaker 2: say the whole speech to bring the family together and
[48:53] Speaker 2: mind them that they're a family and we get one
[48:55] Speaker 2: family and this is it and y'all need to apologize.
[48:57] Speaker 2: And he made them apologize. They made faces the full
[49:00] Speaker 2: time because he couldn't see, and everybody else already knew,
[49:04] Speaker 2: so we were all being calm. I don't think I
[49:06] Speaker 2: ever shared this, but I'll save it for Patreon sharing
[49:11] Speaker 2: some juicy con But I did something that I never
[49:15] Speaker 2: told anybody about, and it was my little get back.
[49:18] Speaker 2: So I'll I have to make a quick little video.
[49:22] Speaker 2: It's gonna be a short winner. I'll just tell y'all
[49:23] Speaker 2: what I did, but I ain't telling everybody.
[49:25] Speaker 1: Speaking of short little videos, I made a video of
[49:27] Speaker 1: me twerking songs.
[49:31] Speaker 2: It's uh, maybe we should have twark some Thursdays and
[49:37] Speaker 2: we can just if we were dancing, even if it wasn't. Actually,
[49:40] Speaker 2: we just post our little second because sometimes I'll be
[49:44] Speaker 2: doing it.
[49:45] Speaker 1: Okay.
[49:45] Speaker 2: I've listened to a lot of juvenile, the old juvenile
[49:48] Speaker 2: and the New juvenile, and I just love that he
[49:49] Speaker 2: has new music. But I did not know that he
[49:51] Speaker 2: was here on Friday. Did you know that? Me either,
[49:53] Speaker 2: I would have been up in that.
[49:54] Speaker 1: Thing looking fine.
[49:58] Speaker 2: I think so, but I don't really know.
[50:00] Speaker 1: Give me a holla.
[50:00] Speaker 2: Yeah, old nigga. And he seemed like he's just trying
[50:03] Speaker 2: to be outside. Megan said that's what she likes, somebody
[50:06] Speaker 2: with an ARP card.
[50:07] Speaker 1: I was like, well, opens doors and I'm not judging.
[50:10] Speaker 1: I just wonder. I wonder that about all niggas.
[50:12] Speaker 2: I don't know.
[50:13] Speaker 1: Something tells me he would. Something tells me he would do.
[50:16] Speaker 1: Some tell me he's really a gentleman. I think he
[50:18] Speaker 1: is back that thing up over here.
[50:21] Speaker 2: Down one time for the ninety nine and the two thousand.
[50:24] Speaker 2: Come on, that is my favorite song. Anyway, we're gonna
[50:29] Speaker 2: move on. It is time for us to move on
[50:31] Speaker 2: to the advice. But before we do that, we do
[50:34] Speaker 2: have a quick message from our sponsors. And then I
[50:36] Speaker 2: want to remind you guys of our new call in number,
[50:38] Speaker 2: because we do have a phone number. If you don't
[50:40] Speaker 2: want to type up the email for whatever reason, and
[50:42] Speaker 2: you just feel like we're gonna get it better if
[50:45] Speaker 2: you share your cocktail, you share your advice audibly. We'll
[50:49] Speaker 2: give that number in a second, but right now we
[50:51] Speaker 2: have a message from our sponsors over at super dot Com.
[50:55] Speaker 1: Okay, you guys. So, first of all, we grown ups.
[50:58] Speaker 1: We are the aunties, and I know that we talk
[51:00] Speaker 1: about relationships and all that good stuff, but we talk
[51:02] Speaker 1: about relationships with ourself and that does involve the credit building.
[51:06] Speaker 1: We're about to get serious for a real minute credit.
[51:10] Speaker 1: The credit building program with super dot Com is easy
[51:13] Speaker 1: and it's a new way to build credit that was
[51:16] Speaker 1: made to take complexities out of building credit. So I know,
[51:19] Speaker 1: if you're anything like me and you hear the word credit,
[51:21] Speaker 1: you can get stressed. You my god, what do I do?
[51:26] Speaker 1: You gotta look at your numbers. You need to know
[51:28] Speaker 1: what you got going on with the credit and super
[51:31] Speaker 1: dot Com is here to help you with that in
[51:33] Speaker 1: an easy way.
[51:35] Speaker 2: What I like about super dot Com and their credit
[51:38] Speaker 2: building program is that it's real credit building, not just
[51:42] Speaker 2: another score tracker with these fake ass numbers. You know
[51:45] Speaker 2: what I mean. So every time you use the super
[51:48] Speaker 2: dot Com card responsibly, which you can get up to
[51:50] Speaker 2: five thousand dollars available, and the way it works, I
[51:53] Speaker 2: want you to be very clear on this because I
[51:55] Speaker 2: don't want y'all to think that this is five thousand
[51:57] Speaker 2: dollars in money that you could spend. Say that again,
[51:59] Speaker 2: is five thousand dollars that you can spend. This is
[52:01] Speaker 2: how companies trap you. They get you in, they tell
[52:05] Speaker 2: you they're giving you this money, but then you spend
[52:06] Speaker 2: it and now you're in a deeper hole than you
[52:09] Speaker 2: were before. Know what's going to happen is you get
[52:12] Speaker 2: let's say you have four thousand dollars available right now
[52:16] Speaker 2: across three credit cards. Right that's your credit limit, but
[52:20] Speaker 2: you have spent three thousand, nine hundred and ninety nine
[52:23] Speaker 2: dollars of that, so you only got a dollar left.
[52:25] Speaker 2: That is horrible credit. Yes, horrible credit utilization. You might
[52:30] Speaker 2: be in a trap of you're making your minimum payments
[52:33] Speaker 2: every month, but really all you're taking care of is
[52:35] Speaker 2: the interest. You're never getting more of an available balance.
[52:38] Speaker 2: Life happens. I get it. I'm not judging you. But
[52:42] Speaker 2: with super dot COM's credit utilization boost, they can give
[52:45] Speaker 2: you that five thousand dollars. Now you won't have access
[52:47] Speaker 2: to it, but now instead of having three nine hundred
[52:50] Speaker 2: and ninety nine dollars of your four thousand dollars credit
[52:54] Speaker 2: limit used up. Now it's not no longer a four
[52:58] Speaker 2: thousand dollars credit limit to nine thousand dollars one. So
[53:01] Speaker 2: now that gives you a better ratio with how much
[53:06] Speaker 2: credit you're using versus how much credit you have, which
[53:09] Speaker 2: is late you have knocked out everything. Yeah, you guys
[53:15] Speaker 2: have got to be really careful about that. And I
[53:17] Speaker 2: also love how there's so many different tools and tips
[53:22] Speaker 2: and education that you can get from super dot com
[53:25] Speaker 2: to help you make better decisions. I also really love
[53:29] Speaker 2: I rent. I love that you can report your rent
[53:33] Speaker 2: every month. You can even do it retroactively up to
[53:36] Speaker 2: two years. You can report those on time rent payments
[53:39] Speaker 2: and it goes to all three credit bureaus, TransUnion, Experience,
[53:43] Speaker 2: and Equifax. So now it's like you're paying this bill
[53:46] Speaker 2: on time every month. A lot of us are paying
[53:49] Speaker 2: rent and it doesn't really do anything for your credit.
[53:53] Speaker 2: So using super dot com and their credit building program,
[53:56] Speaker 2: you can and it helps.
[53:58] Speaker 1: I also love that it helps you keep track. Yeah,
[54:01] Speaker 1: because another one of these things, like I said in
[54:03] Speaker 1: the beginning, looking at your credit, talking about your credit,
[54:06] Speaker 1: make that a habit. This creates a habit when you
[54:09] Speaker 1: track your progress with your credit score and then it's
[54:12] Speaker 1: not so hard to look at and just look at
[54:13] Speaker 1: the truth and fix it.
[54:15] Speaker 2: Yeah, we all make mistakes. It's just a matter of
[54:19] Speaker 2: making changes so that things will get better in the future. So,
[54:23] Speaker 2: without too much rambling, I just want to remind you
[54:25] Speaker 2: guys that you can start building your credit today the
[54:28] Speaker 2: easy way. Go to super dot com slash credit right
[54:31] Speaker 2: now to see how superplus can help you boost your
[54:34] Speaker 2: credit score. That's super dot com slash Credit. Credit building
[54:40] Speaker 2: features are only available to super plus members. Impact on
[54:43] Speaker 2: your credit score may vary. Super dot Com cannot control
[54:46] Speaker 2: factors outside their services that may impact your credit. Visit
[54:49] Speaker 2: super dot com for more details. And now we'll move
[54:52] Speaker 2: on to the advice. So, if you guys have a
[54:57] Speaker 2: question about something going on in your life or maybe
[55:00] Speaker 2: your friend's, Like, it don't matter who's life, y'all, just
[55:02] Speaker 2: let us know. You can send us an email and
[55:04] Speaker 2: the email address is Advice A d v i CE
[55:08] Speaker 2: at cocktailspod dot com. Now, if you wanted to leave
[55:13] Speaker 2: a voicemail instead, you can call us and leave a
[55:15] Speaker 2: voicemail four four six nine two oh oh three nine. Again,
[55:19] Speaker 2: that's four four six nine two oh three nine. Now
[55:23] Speaker 2: we can get to the advice. Okay, why they do
[55:31] Speaker 2: steps up? I don't know, y'all.
[55:34] Speaker 1: You need go on dates in that loop to your faith.
[55:37] Speaker 2: Especially when they claim to love you, they'd be lying.
[55:42] Speaker 2: If you want to get some advice from us, make
[55:44] Speaker 2: sure you email us advice at cocktailspod dot com. Okay,
[55:52] Speaker 2: so this one says advice help. Hey gga Medina just
[55:55] Speaker 2: wanted to say that I love you guys down. I
[55:57] Speaker 2: look forward to the episodes that drop weekly doing what
[56:00] Speaker 2: y'all do in Queens. So here's my situation. I met
[56:03] Speaker 2: a guy on Hinge back in December and we decided
[56:07] Speaker 2: to have a spontaneous first date night the night of
[56:09] Speaker 2: Christmas eves. That's cute.
[56:11] Speaker 1: It was fine.
[56:12] Speaker 2: May We hit it off instantly, sparks were flying. A
[56:15] Speaker 2: little over a month into est dating exclusively, we made
[56:18] Speaker 2: it official.
[56:19] Speaker 1: Okay, you'll quick.
[56:22] Speaker 2: But here's a thing. Before we got into a relationship,
[56:25] Speaker 2: he never tried to have sex with me. I mean
[56:28] Speaker 2: it was only one.
[56:29] Speaker 1: So it's okay, little hornball.
[56:31] Speaker 2: Okay, he did give me head once, so at the
[56:34] Speaker 2: time I wasn't even that pressed for the sex because
[56:37] Speaker 2: I genuinely liked him and I just wanted to get
[56:39] Speaker 2: to know him. I should have known something was up then.
[56:42] Speaker 2: Many men usually try to be physical with me pretty quickly,
[56:45] Speaker 2: because I'm be real, I got the face and the
[56:47] Speaker 2: badi yadi yadi to match. I quickly found out that
[56:50] Speaker 2: the reason we didn't have sex is because he can't
[56:53] Speaker 2: stay hard. He needs to get him some drive boost.
[56:58] Speaker 2: Gone over there to uh the link in the description.
[57:01] Speaker 2: Southn Wet has some products for.
[57:02] Speaker 1: Men, and he had to cut back on his red
[57:05] Speaker 1: meat intake. I was reading the study and it says
[57:07] Speaker 1: that red meat it can cause prostate cancer and also
[57:10] Speaker 1: it disrupts men getting hard. Yeah, y'all look it up.
[57:15] Speaker 2: During for play, he's aroused, but when it comes time
[57:18] Speaker 2: for penetration, he goes soft. My god, do you have
[57:24] Speaker 2: a smell? Does he like pussy?
[57:28] Speaker 1: Oh?
[57:29] Speaker 2: Okay, I'm not saying he don't. I don't know how
[57:32] Speaker 2: that works. I ain't got one of those little winkers anyway.
[57:37] Speaker 2: Since January, we've had sex only three times, two of
[57:40] Speaker 2: which happened on the same day.
[57:42] Speaker 1: Damn.
[57:43] Speaker 2: The sex itself is okay, but he doesn't last long.
[57:46] Speaker 2: Maybe you just too much woman. He's excited is it that?
[57:50] Speaker 2: Is he coming quick or is just dying? Is he
[57:53] Speaker 2: on Olympic m Does he need to be on poochu? Okay?
[57:58] Speaker 2: His dick isn't a small I've had, but for my anatomy,
[58:02] Speaker 2: it's just not that pleasurable. You gotta ask, and he
[58:04] Speaker 2: got a little one that sound like to me. He
[58:07] Speaker 2: does love to eat my pussy, which is somewhat enjoyable,
[58:10] Speaker 2: but I've had better. Damn, don't homicide. I know I
[58:14] Speaker 2: can coach him on how to please me in that way.
[58:16] Speaker 2: And I know sex isn't only about penetration, but that's
[58:19] Speaker 2: personally what I need to feel satisfied. And don't let
[58:22] Speaker 2: nobody tell.
[58:22] Speaker 1: You different, Dany, I don't be coming from penetration, so
[58:25] Speaker 1: he might be my man. Okay.
[58:29] Speaker 2: After sitting down with him and having the uncomfortable conversation
[58:32] Speaker 2: about this issue, he said he thinks it's due to
[58:34] Speaker 2: stress because he has never had this problem before. He
[58:37] Speaker 2: deals with a lot at work and in his personal life.
[58:40] Speaker 2: He made an appointment to get his hormones checked. Okay,
[58:43] Speaker 2: good taking it seriously because we read online that could
[58:46] Speaker 2: be a reason as well, But all his levels came
[58:48] Speaker 2: back normal. The doctor agreed with him that his problem
[58:51] Speaker 2: is most likely due to stress. I know he has
[58:53] Speaker 2: been diligently looking for a job for months, even before
[58:56] Speaker 2: he met me, but with the job mark and being
[58:58] Speaker 2: the way it is, he has at any luck. Oh wait,
[59:01] Speaker 2: he don't have no job. I would imagine with that
[59:05] Speaker 2: if I was a man, my dick wouldn't be getting
[59:07] Speaker 2: hard either, because it might be like, no, bitch, calm down,
[59:10] Speaker 2: because a hard dick means I can come inside of you.
[59:13] Speaker 2: And I don't have no money for no, baby. Okay,
[59:16] Speaker 2: I recommend I recommend it using medication like Fagara, but
[59:20] Speaker 2: as a thirty three year old man, he wasn't interested. Well, baby,
[59:24] Speaker 2: if it's your time, it's your time.
[59:25] Speaker 1: Does he work out? I don't know to be active.
[59:29] Speaker 2: It sounds like a lot of problems going on. Okay.
[59:32] Speaker 2: I turn thirty next week. And it's true what they say.
[59:34] Speaker 2: The closer you get to your thirties, the hornier you get.
[59:37] Speaker 2: I yearned to be put through the mattress almost daily.
[59:40] Speaker 2: Our birthdays are actually a week apart, so I planned
[59:43] Speaker 2: an elaborate vacation for us. But now let's just say
[59:46] Speaker 2: my excitement for balcony action has been crushed. To put
[59:50] Speaker 2: things in further context, I'm also coming out of a
[59:53] Speaker 2: short term situationship where I was having the best sex
[59:56] Speaker 2: of my life. The guy was the first man ever
[59:59] Speaker 2: to make me I'm talking multiple times today, and he
[1:00:03] Speaker 2: also had the most perfect dick. When I masturbate, I
[1:00:06] Speaker 2: find myself thinking about him. I don't miss him as
[1:00:09] Speaker 2: a person, but I'm definitely craving the sex. So my
[1:00:12] Speaker 2: question is am I dumb or shallow for thinking of
[1:00:16] Speaker 2: leaving my boyfriend over this? Should I leave before feelings
[1:00:20] Speaker 2: deepen or give it more time? He is truly a
[1:00:22] Speaker 2: good man, Savannah, smart, supportive, funny, thoughtful, compassionate. We messed
[1:00:27] Speaker 2: together really well. I could see a future with him.
[1:00:31] Speaker 2: He even recently professed his love for me. But honestly,
[1:00:34] Speaker 2: with the lack of physical connection, he's starting to feel
[1:00:36] Speaker 2: more like my best friend slash homeboy than my boyfriend.
[1:00:40] Speaker 1: Damn.
[1:00:41] Speaker 2: I know we could bring toys into the bedroom, but
[1:00:44] Speaker 2: there's nothing like the real thing. PS. He isn't gay.
[1:00:47] Speaker 2: I checked and did my research signed a sexually frustrated girlfriend.
[1:00:53] Speaker 2: Well what research did you do? Because but I don't
[1:00:57] Speaker 2: want to say that he's gay. He may not be.
[1:01:00] Speaker 1: I feel like when Okay, y'all know, I've been doing
[1:01:03] Speaker 1: deep dives just into life lately, and so.
[1:01:06] Speaker 2: I just apologist.
[1:01:09] Speaker 1: And I appreciate it because it's like you feel like
[1:01:12] Speaker 1: you're to me. It seems like you're already turned off.
[1:01:15] Speaker 1: If you're already going into something turned off, y'a don't
[1:01:18] Speaker 1: even want to know my thoughts on love anymore, And
[1:01:20] Speaker 1: like how I feel about, we don't have time for
[1:01:22] Speaker 1: me to go into it. If you're saying you, I
[1:01:24] Speaker 1: just want you to have this conversation with yourself and God,
[1:01:27] Speaker 1: you're saying you see a future with this man, but
[1:01:30] Speaker 1: now you're saying something like sex can you're asking us
[1:01:34] Speaker 1: is it meant to be or not? You don't see
[1:01:36] Speaker 1: a future with the man? I think you don't?
[1:01:38] Speaker 2: Are y'all doing in this future visions?
[1:01:42] Speaker 1: And are we looking at what relationships really represent? Relationships
[1:01:45] Speaker 1: don't really, it's not People aren't talking about the great
[1:01:48] Speaker 1: hot set, heavy segs. You're talking about supporting each other
[1:01:50] Speaker 1: and being there for one another. So if you talk
[1:01:52] Speaker 1: about seeing somebody in your future.
[1:01:53] Speaker 2: What's your future look like porn?
[1:01:55] Speaker 1: Because you're only focusing on relationship and it's no judgment
[1:01:59] Speaker 1: it's no judgment, but I don't really think you want
[1:02:01] Speaker 1: a future with someone. This is another one of those
[1:02:02] Speaker 1: things where it's like, since what do you It sounds
[1:02:04] Speaker 1: like you really want to be outside having fun right now,
[1:02:06] Speaker 1: and that is okay. We have been sold the dream
[1:02:10] Speaker 1: that we need to want a relationship. You don't want
[1:02:12] Speaker 1: a relationship.
[1:02:14] Speaker 2: Yeah, it sounds like, girl, your rebound isn't rebound in
[1:02:17] Speaker 2: the way that you thought it would. Yeah, and you
[1:02:20] Speaker 2: probably prefer to be in a relationship, so you don't
[1:02:22] Speaker 2: have to be a hunter or gatherer of men. But
[1:02:24] Speaker 2: you're gonna have to get back outside. You don't really
[1:02:27] Speaker 2: like this man.
[1:02:27] Speaker 1: You want to get and I get it. We've been
[1:02:29] Speaker 1: in that face. Get do it.
[1:02:31] Speaker 2: And he it does sadden me that he I guess
[1:02:34] Speaker 2: he feels like he's too young. But if you got
[1:02:38] Speaker 2: an erect child dysfunction issue, it doesn't matter how old
[1:02:42] Speaker 2: you are, get the medication or you have to suffer through.
[1:02:47] Speaker 2: You either gonna need to be like the studs and
[1:02:49] Speaker 2: strap up. And I'm not talking about e connum. I
[1:02:51] Speaker 2: mean you're gonna have to get the strap on and
[1:02:53] Speaker 2: the hardness and put that bitch on. If your dick
[1:02:55] Speaker 2: isn't gonna get ready, or you need to get medication,
[1:02:57] Speaker 2: or you need to move around. Those are your only
[1:03:00] Speaker 2: three choices. There's one more. You could let her fuck
[1:03:04] Speaker 2: somebody else and not be so pissy about it, but
[1:03:07] Speaker 2: that is probably It sounds like has moved too quickly.
[1:03:10] Speaker 2: And this is why I always say there is power
[1:03:12] Speaker 2: in the pause, y'all. A few months ago, I was
[1:03:14] Speaker 2: talking about somebody that I thought I liked, and then
[1:03:16] Speaker 2: I'm so glad the sex hasn't.
[1:03:18] Speaker 1: I haven't been doing sex there, says. I was like,
[1:03:21] Speaker 1: oh my god, I don't like him. You don't like
[1:03:24] Speaker 1: this man.
[1:03:25] Speaker 2: Man?
[1:03:25] Speaker 1: Maybe he's fine, but you want to get do you
[1:03:27] Speaker 1: like the idea of him? And you feel just being
[1:03:31] Speaker 1: like I want to be outside and I want to
[1:03:32] Speaker 1: be fucking go do it, get tested, make sure you're safe,
[1:03:35] Speaker 1: go have fun. It's okay, ladies, and go to.
[1:03:38] Speaker 2: Worse behavior to a dot comic book. That trip, the
[1:03:41] Speaker 2: Bali trip is not a fucking trip. You need to
[1:03:43] Speaker 2: bring your own meat to fuck on, but he is.
[1:03:46] Speaker 1: You go down, then go have fun.
[1:03:48] Speaker 2: Yeah, because it sounds like you want to be outside,
[1:03:50] Speaker 2: and if you want to be outside, be outside. He's
[1:03:52] Speaker 2: not trying to be outside. He don't want to be
[1:03:53] Speaker 2: inside the doctor's office to help him with his dicky.
[1:03:57] Speaker 1: Every saying I want a good guy, going to good guy,
[1:03:58] Speaker 1: you start getting the good guys when you really don't
[1:04:00] Speaker 1: want the good guy, and now the good guy doesn't
[1:04:02] Speaker 1: have a good dick, and now you don't want the confused.
[1:04:04] Speaker 1: Sometimes you get good guys with not good dick, and
[1:04:06] Speaker 1: that's okay, but you don't really want to.
[1:04:08] Speaker 2: Figure out what you want. You want the good man
[1:04:10] Speaker 2: or are you trying to fuck you aluys.
[1:04:11] Speaker 1: Want to treat you right or just fuck you good?
[1:04:13] Speaker 1: Because that's not future stuff like what are we talking about?
[1:04:16] Speaker 1: What are we talking about?
[1:04:19] Speaker 2: I guess nothing, but keep sending in those advice emails
[1:04:22] Speaker 2: advice at cocktailspod dot com. And now we will move
[1:04:26] Speaker 2: on to the cocktails. If you have a cocktail that
[1:04:29] Speaker 2: you want to share, you can call us with it
[1:04:32] Speaker 2: and again that number is four four six nine two
[1:04:35] Speaker 2: zero zero three nine, or you can email at cocktails
[1:04:40] Speaker 2: c O C K T A L E. S at
[1:04:41] Speaker 2: cocktailspod dot com.
[1:04:43] Speaker 1: Has anybody left us a message? No, you got to
[1:04:45] Speaker 1: leave us a message? Okay, uh huh, but I.
[1:04:57] Speaker 2: How it on me. You think some catch in the
[1:05:06] Speaker 2: Once upon a time not long ago, I was.
[1:05:07] Speaker 1: A Hey kikim Medina. I've been a listener for a
[1:05:13] Speaker 1: few years now, and you ladies have truly helped me
[1:05:15] Speaker 1: blossom into the woman I am today. I appreciate you
[1:05:20] Speaker 1: sharing yourselves and your stories with us. I can't wait
[1:05:23] Speaker 1: to see all you guys have in store. We can't either.
[1:05:26] Speaker 1: I've been one thing to write a cocktail forever now
[1:05:30] Speaker 1: and never really felt like I had anything. Oh, okay, okay, okay,
[1:05:37] Speaker 1: I don't know juicy enough, but I finally got one
[1:05:39] Speaker 1: and I can't wait to share. Okay, let me go,
[1:05:42] Speaker 1: Let me get to it, because I know y'all don't
[1:05:44] Speaker 1: like long messages. This is long, Okay. So I met
[1:05:46] Speaker 1: this guy through a mutual friend and I immediately felt
[1:05:49] Speaker 1: a spark, but he decided not to pursue, so I
[1:05:50] Speaker 1: did impress. But he's always around when me and my
[1:05:55] Speaker 1: one friend we'll call her Leila, hang out, so the
[1:05:58] Speaker 1: flirting never stopped so fast for I love a good flirt. Oh,
[1:06:01] Speaker 1: I love flirting. Me Layla and my other friend will
[1:06:03] Speaker 1: call her Saxy are outside having a ball. We run
[1:06:06] Speaker 1: into him for the first time. In a minute, so
[1:06:08] Speaker 1: we say hey. Instantly, the flirting becons and I'm already
[1:06:12] Speaker 1: tipsy as hell, bitch. I just had a night like
[1:06:14] Speaker 1: this the other night, and I kissed him in the club.
[1:06:16] Speaker 2: What you did?
[1:06:18] Speaker 1: I said, it okay, and I was feeling sexy, So
[1:06:21] Speaker 1: it's definitely turned up. Sorry. He's buying us shots all night,
[1:06:26] Speaker 1: but still keeping his distance like a gentleman, like a lord.
[1:06:31] Speaker 1: You know, just how we like it. I know, girl,
[1:06:34] Speaker 1: letting us mingle, but keeping our glasses full. He comes
[1:06:38] Speaker 1: up to me and ask what we were doing after
[1:06:40] Speaker 1: the club. Nigga, I'm going to sweet. I told him
[1:06:44] Speaker 1: we didn't have plans, but we were down to keep
[1:06:45] Speaker 1: the night going. That's yuki ki. Yeah, which I'm tired.
[1:06:50] Speaker 1: I'm living.
[1:06:51] Speaker 2: We going.
[1:06:52] Speaker 1: He asked me, when was I going to stop playing
[1:06:53] Speaker 1: and come through on him. My drunk ass was ready
[1:06:56] Speaker 1: to give it up in the middle of the club,
[1:06:58] Speaker 1: as good as he was looking at as much sexual
[1:07:00] Speaker 1: tension that was between us, Sometimes the sexual attension be
[1:07:03] Speaker 1: better than the sex.
[1:07:04] Speaker 2: Yes, that's a disappointment.
[1:07:06] Speaker 1: I played it cool and I told him maybe we
[1:07:07] Speaker 1: can have it out tonight. We exchange numbers and he
[1:07:11] Speaker 1: leaves the and he leaves the club. So my friends
[1:07:14] Speaker 1: and I end up hitting the after hours, getting more drunk.
[1:07:16] Speaker 1: They're young, and I text him, what's to do it
[1:07:18] Speaker 1: after hours? Let's try to do Let's try a weekend
[1:07:20] Speaker 1: of after hours.
[1:07:22] Speaker 2: Okay, we could do it after hours, but I'm gonna
[1:07:24] Speaker 2: be waking up to go to the after hours. That's
[1:07:26] Speaker 2: gonna be the start of the day. But I can't
[1:07:28] Speaker 2: wake up.
[1:07:29] Speaker 1: Let's just try it one night, one night only.
[1:07:31] Speaker 2: We gonna get there at three. I'm gonna go to
[1:07:33] Speaker 2: bed at eight, wake up at two, be there at three.
[1:07:36] Speaker 1: I tax him. I text him telling him to wake
[1:07:39] Speaker 1: up because I'm drunk and I'm horny baby, and know
[1:07:42] Speaker 1: where this night is about to go. So we dropped
[1:07:45] Speaker 1: one of my friends off Layla. Oh wait, so we
[1:07:48] Speaker 1: dropped my friend Laila, and me and Stacey head to
[1:07:50] Speaker 1: his place. Side note, we fuck niggas together before, so
[1:07:54] Speaker 1: I already know what this is about to be.
[1:07:56] Speaker 2: Stacey, is your turn up for end?
[1:07:58] Speaker 1: We pull up and the vibes are already sat music,
[1:08:02] Speaker 1: more shots and dim lighted. Oh I missed those days
[1:08:05] Speaker 1: before I found Jesus. We're all sitting around talking and
[1:08:10] Speaker 1: me and Stacey have really good chemistry, and that gets
[1:08:13] Speaker 1: the niggas going. He starts telling us how he been
[1:08:16] Speaker 1: feeling me for a long time but didn't want to overstep,
[1:08:20] Speaker 1: and things are getting heated. I know, niggas be happy
[1:08:22] Speaker 1: when you meet two freaks and you're like nothing. He's
[1:08:25] Speaker 1: out before you know it, Me and Stacey or button naked,
[1:08:28] Speaker 1: dragging him to his bedroom, ready to get this shit started.
[1:08:31] Speaker 1: He's kissing on both of us, and I'm strucking his
[1:08:33] Speaker 1: dick while Stacey moves to sit on his face. Stacy,
[1:08:37] Speaker 1: I'm talking to them both through it, telling him how
[1:08:40] Speaker 1: badly I want him to come all over my face
[1:08:42] Speaker 1: and how sexy she is when she rides his face.
[1:08:44] Speaker 1: He quickly sits me on his thick dick and I
[1:08:47] Speaker 1: come as soon as he enters me. I haven't fucked
[1:08:51] Speaker 1: in a few months, and I was craving it, especially
[1:08:53] Speaker 1: from him. I had masturbated to the idea of him
[1:08:55] Speaker 1: a few times and it felt just how I imagined.
[1:08:59] Speaker 1: I'm riding that dick's so good while she's riding his face,
[1:09:01] Speaker 1: and we're all coming together. Somehow we get on the
[1:09:04] Speaker 1: subject of asplay. I guess we made him feel comfortable
[1:09:07] Speaker 1: enough to be himself. He pulls out this huge deal
[1:09:10] Speaker 1: dope and wants us to fucking with that. We happily oblige.
[1:09:16] Speaker 1: I lub it up and start slow, but he had
[1:09:18] Speaker 1: no issue taking it. I'm fucking him while Stacey is
[1:09:21] Speaker 1: kissing him and enjoying the view. Y'all is some freaks.
[1:09:25] Speaker 1: She wants to take over, so I let her and
[1:09:27] Speaker 1: I go back to strukking his dick and kissing him
[1:09:29] Speaker 1: all over. I tell him how good he looks taking
[1:09:32] Speaker 1: all that dick, and he.
[1:09:36] Speaker 2: This reminds him of being at Heatonism. Talking to my
[1:09:39] Speaker 2: homegirl kid, and she was walking. She was going to
[1:09:41] Speaker 2: a fairy party and she had a strap on on
[1:09:44] Speaker 2: because the fairy party is only girls, and a nigga
[1:09:46] Speaker 2: was like, we're you going with that? We're going there
[1:09:49] Speaker 2: with all that? And she was like, I got you later,
[1:09:52] Speaker 2: and I was like, bitch, stop fucking you've ever done it?
[1:09:55] Speaker 1: I can't do it. I'm not that. I talk a
[1:09:57] Speaker 1: lot of shit. I can't fuck no nigga.
[1:10:00] Speaker 2: It seems like a lot of work.
[1:10:02] Speaker 1: I don't okay. So she's like, okay, all that dick
[1:10:06] Speaker 1: and he's like, it's gonna make me come by being
[1:10:08] Speaker 1: such a good boy. As I'm stroking him, I'm looking
[1:10:11] Speaker 1: at him dead in his eyes, telling him to make
[1:10:13] Speaker 1: that dick nut for me. I feel like that's what's
[1:10:15] Speaker 1: stopping me from reaching my goals. I need to start
[1:10:17] Speaker 1: fucking niggas locking because that's a level of confidence that
[1:10:20] Speaker 1: you really got.
[1:10:21] Speaker 2: A big old yeah, because you can't even feel the
[1:10:25] Speaker 2: dick and you're just giving it, giving it, giving it, and.
[1:10:28] Speaker 1: It's just like, you know, he's gonna be a few weeks. Well,
[1:10:32] Speaker 1: he might not be if he's not new to this
[1:10:34] Speaker 1: walk with me. He says, yes, ma'am, And the properness
[1:10:39] Speaker 1: of that statement is in such a dirty moment, sent
[1:10:42] Speaker 1: me over the edge. He's ready to come, and I
[1:10:44] Speaker 1: tell him to come in our mouths oh. When he does,
[1:10:48] Speaker 1: I kiss him so he can see how good he tastes.
[1:10:50] Speaker 1: We're all swapping come field kiss fist field kisses, snowball fight,
[1:10:55] Speaker 1: and when we finished, we all crashed into each other,
[1:10:58] Speaker 1: out of breath and bodies weak from coming on. Nice
[1:11:01] Speaker 1: smelling like dude, I know it is.
[1:11:05] Speaker 2: I was wondering what the smell would be like after
[1:11:07] Speaker 2: going up in that.
[1:11:08] Speaker 1: As we curl up in the bed and follow soon after.
[1:11:14] Speaker 1: Definitely one for the books and I can't wait to
[1:11:16] Speaker 1: do it again. I hope y'all enjoyed this. I enjoyed that.
[1:11:20] Speaker 2: Thank you, girl. Send us some more because I know
[1:11:21] Speaker 2: you'll be having a time on the weekend you're having
[1:11:24] Speaker 2: a time. Send us a voicemail please, cause I want
[1:11:27] Speaker 2: to hear you explain that we.
[1:11:28] Speaker 1: Shouldst the voice.
[1:11:30] Speaker 2: I needed that I forever anyway, Thank you so much.
[1:11:42] Speaker 2: That was a good cocktail. Now that is a cocktail.
[1:11:44] Speaker 2: If you don't know what a cocktail is, that is
[1:11:46] Speaker 2: a cocktail. Thank you friend for sending that. Y'all can
[1:11:49] Speaker 2: call them in or you can email them. I will
[1:11:52] Speaker 2: distort your voice. Voice. I will distort your voice if
[1:11:56] Speaker 2: you do a voicemail unless you say you want me
[1:12:00] Speaker 2: not to distort it. The default will be distortion. Okay,
[1:12:03] Speaker 2: just like the default for the emails. We're not gonna
[1:12:05] Speaker 2: say your name yeah. We'll keep that when y'all want
[1:12:08] Speaker 2: us to say your name yeah, even when you send
[1:12:09] Speaker 2: it to us and you show it because y'all be
[1:12:11] Speaker 2: getting y'all be getting baptized and change your mind after
[1:12:15] Speaker 2: two to three business years and it's like baby, no
[1:12:17] Speaker 2: I'm not taking it down. Sorry, So yeah, anyway, make
[1:12:21] Speaker 2: sure you guys are following us online on Instagram. We're
[1:12:25] Speaker 2: at cocktails podcasts. I'm Kiki said so.
[1:12:27] Speaker 1: Really quick, y'all, I really need to with Meals on
[1:12:30] Speaker 1: wheels Atlanta. There is an event coming up on May
[1:12:32] Speaker 1: twenty ninth. It's called Taste. It is a food event.
[1:12:34] Speaker 1: I'm knocked out. Look at my Instagram if you need
[1:12:36] Speaker 1: more details. But even if you cannot get a ticket,
[1:12:38] Speaker 1: you can donate. And I am trying to make a
[1:12:41] Speaker 1: difference in the senior community and if you can help me,
[1:12:43] Speaker 1: please click the link in the description. This helps senior
[1:12:47] Speaker 1: citizens eat like quite literally, there is a weight.
[1:12:50] Speaker 2: List everyday food not a special occasion, not.
[1:12:52] Speaker 1: A special occasion. Every Saturday, I'm going and delivering meals, lunches, breakfast,
[1:12:57] Speaker 1: dinners to senior citizens in Atlanta who do not have
[1:13:00] Speaker 1: any sort of community to feed them. So, if you
[1:13:02] Speaker 1: love your grandma, if your grandma raised you, if you
[1:13:05] Speaker 1: just love people, if you can donate ten dollars, two dollars,
[1:13:08] Speaker 1: twenty five dollars, fifty dollars, one hundred dollars, please donate something.
[1:13:12] Speaker 1: I'm coffee beating.
[1:13:13] Speaker 2: Yeah, and I want to remind you guys, this is
[1:13:16] Speaker 2: not a donation. This is just purely to spurge on yourself.
[1:13:21] Speaker 2: Sometimes we spend all of our time helping our sisters,
[1:13:25] Speaker 2: our mamas, our aunties, our cousins, our nieces, nephews, grandbabies,
[1:13:29] Speaker 2: whatever y'all got going on. Who gonna think about you?
[1:13:33] Speaker 2: You gotta do what's best for you, Like I tell
[1:13:35] Speaker 2: Lucius every week, and sometimes as you need a reset
[1:13:39] Speaker 2: and you need a trip, I know that the world
[1:13:41] Speaker 2: is literally on fire right now. There's bombs dropping off
[1:13:43] Speaker 2: backdad and everything. This world is on fire. Exactly if
[1:13:47] Speaker 2: you're like me, you might need a break. I need
[1:13:49] Speaker 2: a break from America and a lot of other things
[1:13:52] Speaker 2: going on in my life. Get your travel insurance too.
[1:13:55] Speaker 2: But come with me to Bali. We are going September
[1:13:57] Speaker 2: twenty fifth through tough thirtieth. It is a little bit
[1:13:59] Speaker 2: after my but we're still celebrating my birthday. One of
[1:14:03] Speaker 2: the girls that's on the trip shout out to Kira.
[1:14:05] Speaker 2: It's her birthday while we're there, so we'll both be celebrating. Y'all,
[1:14:09] Speaker 2: come turn up with us. It's not a whole turn
[1:14:12] Speaker 2: up trip, but we are gonna have one day party
[1:14:13] Speaker 2: day where we go to a beach club.
[1:14:15] Speaker 1: Is it only for women?
[1:14:16] Speaker 2: No, it's open to everybody. And uh, there's one man
[1:14:19] Speaker 2: who signed up. I don't know, but he signed up.
[1:14:23] Speaker 2: And then somebody else says, she bring her maid.
[1:14:25] Speaker 1: What if I come and just bring a nigga? Do it?
[1:14:27] Speaker 2: Okay, come on, We're gonna have a good time. I
[1:14:29] Speaker 2: am doing this trip in partnership with Lux Tribes. This
[1:14:32] Speaker 2: is who I've been wanting to do my trips with
[1:14:34] Speaker 2: for a really long time. So I'm happy that it's
[1:14:36] Speaker 2: finally come to Fruition. We are going to have such
[1:14:39] Speaker 2: a good time. I have worked with them on making
[1:14:42] Speaker 2: sure good our tenerary is good, which I already trusted,
[1:14:45] Speaker 2: but we are working out some details of some additional extra,
[1:14:49] Speaker 2: some freebies, some really great experiences. And I just really
[1:14:54] Speaker 2: encourage people to come out. Don't wait on people, you know,
[1:14:57] Speaker 2: because maybe they'll never go. And do you want to
[1:15:00] Speaker 2: always wait on somebody else to be like, oh let's
[1:15:03] Speaker 2: go here, No, go right now and make some new
[1:15:05] Speaker 2: friends and see a new place. I've never been to Asia,
[1:15:09] Speaker 2: I've never been to Indonesia, I've never been to Bali
[1:15:12] Speaker 2: and I want you guys to come and share this
[1:15:14] Speaker 2: experience with me. I'm really excited about it. We are
[1:15:17] Speaker 2: over halfway sold out, so don't wait again. The trip
[1:15:22] Speaker 2: dates are September twenty fifth through the thirtieth of this year.
[1:15:26] Speaker 2: You can sign up for your spot with only a
[1:15:28] Speaker 2: one hundred dollars deposit and then break your payments up monthly.
[1:15:31] Speaker 2: Go to travel dot Kiki said so dot com, slash Bali,
[1:15:35] Speaker 2: or just click the link in the description. I hope
[1:15:38] Speaker 2: to see you there. We are going to have a blast,
[1:15:40] Speaker 2: and then probably by May. I'll let you guys know
[1:15:44] Speaker 2: where we're going in twenty twenty seven. But I have
[1:15:47] Speaker 2: two more trips lined up for twenty twenty seven, and
[1:15:50] Speaker 2: you won't want to miss him. I'm telling y'all we're
[1:15:51] Speaker 2: about to be gone and having a good time and
[1:15:54] Speaker 2: not stressing, because you get one life and we need
[1:15:57] Speaker 2: to live it to the fullest. On that note, we're
[1:16:00] Speaker 2: gonna be out and until next week you guys.
[1:16:02] Speaker 1: Goodbye, goodbye bye b Bye bye b by relation, goodbye
[1:16:12] Speaker 1: bye bye try bye bye bye

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