# Ep. 454 @sexwithashley on Dating, Pleasure & Her Cult Escape

An episode of [Cocktales with Kiki](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1149484402), 28 Jul 2025, 1 h 37 min.

Audio: https://op3.dev/e/dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/pdst.fm/e/claritaspod.com/measure/pscrb.fm/rss/p/mgln.ai/e/p5972/api.spreaker.com/download/episode/67147078/454_a.mp3

This week, we’re joined by sexual health expert, writer, and podcaster @sexwithashley for a raw, hilarious, and honest convo about dating as a sex-positive woman, escaping the grip of purity culture, and what she’s learned about pleasure along the way. From stairwell sex at an AAU tournament to popping cherries at the sex club, Ashley keeps it real about her personal journey with boundaries, ethical non-monogamy, and the myths people still hold about women who talk about sex. We also get into: dating daddies, digmatization recovery, and why some men love the idea of a freak… until they actually meet one Links Mentioned: • 💻 Join the Drinks & Reads Book Club on Patreon www.patreon.com/kikisaidso • 📺 Kiki's new show: xoMAN Podcast is out now! Check it out here: https://lnk.to/6JdRUZ • 🌵 Sedona Retreat Day Passes via Paradise & Vibe https://paradiseandvibe.com/ • Cancer Walk • Visit www.soakingwet.com and use code COCKTALES • 💉 LifeRx.md - Use code COCKTALES for $50 off LifeRX.MD - Start your health journey today with LifeRX and use code COCKTALES at checkout for $50 off. LIFERX Use code COCKTALES- CLICK HERE https://liferx.md/?u1=188&_ef_transaction_id&oid=1&affid=188 • • Go to brooklynbedding.com and use our promo code COCKTALES at checkout to get 30% off sitewide. 🛒 Support the Show and Check Out Offers From Our Sponsors: Visit soakingwet.com and use code COCKTALES for 10% off 🎥 Watch the full episode on YouTube – trust, the facial expressions alone are worth it. CockTales Channel on YouTube 📲 Follow Us: Instagram: @cocktalespodcast Instagram: @kikisaidso Instagram: @coffeebeandean 🛒 Support the Show For all promo codes and links for promotions in the episode as well as other current offers, follow this link: https://linktr.ee/cocktalesads Contact Us! Advice: advice@cocktalespod.com Cocktales: cocktales@cocktalespod.com Weird Sex: weirdsex@cocktalespod.com Sponsorship: sales@cocktalespod.com Guest Request/ General Inquiries info@cocktalespod.com Get your Vesper2 https://www.lovecrave.com/products/vesper2/?aop=cocktales Get Your Merch & Order Your Card Game at www.imcurioustoknow.com Get Klassy Baste! Learn to Cook with Kiki www.klassybaste.com Join Kiki's Book Club: www.patreon.com/kikisaidso Travel With Medinah! www.paradiseandvibe.com Interested in sponsoring? Contact sales@cocktalespod.com today Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/cocktales-with-kiki--2818687/support. CONNECT WITH US Follow the host and join the conversation after the episode: Kiki Said So (Kiara Walker) Instagram: @kikisaidso TikTok: @kikisaidso Cocktales With Kiki Instagram:@cocktalespodcast TikTok: @cocktalespodcast Want to be a guest on Cocktales? We are always looking for interesting guests, experts, and storytellers to join the show. If you would like to be considered, please fill out our guest submission form here: Guest Interest Form

## Transcript

[0:02] Speaker 1: Yeah, you're a check one two, check one two? Is
[0:04] Speaker 1: this Mike on? Is this Mike going?
[0:06] Speaker 2: Hey?
[0:06] Speaker 1: Listen, man, it's the one and.
[0:08] Speaker 2: Only Trenks that a dj sis and you're listening to
[0:10] Speaker 2: cocktails Dirty Discussions with Kikia Medina Monroe. Here cocktail is
[0:20] Speaker 2: called sir Nasty. Sir, would you need to make this cocktail?
[0:26] Speaker 2: Two ounces of Sir Davis whiskey, one ounce of honey
[0:29] Speaker 2: syrup equal parts honey plus hot water, ip point seventy
[0:32] Speaker 2: five ounces of some fresh lemon juice, a half ounce
[0:34] Speaker 2: of ginger liqueur. Oh, that sounds good. A dash of
[0:38] Speaker 2: cayenne pepper or a few drops of spicy bitters. That's optional,
[0:41] Speaker 2: but it makes a little spicy. You're gonna use a
[0:43] Speaker 2: lemon twist or a candy ginger for garnish. Here's how
[0:46] Speaker 2: you're gonna make us, Sir nasty. You're gonna shake all
[0:49] Speaker 2: of those ingredients with ice and strain into a coop
[0:52] Speaker 2: or rocks glass garnish with a lemon twist and a
[0:55] Speaker 2: whisper something nasty before sipping it.
[0:58] Speaker 3: Oh daddy, I you liked it. Welcome back to cocktail.
[1:06] Speaker 3: Let's story to say, Cowboy Carter and that's not where
[1:09] Speaker 3: we are, but that's where I am. Mentally, this ain't
[1:11] Speaker 3: j Exus, all right, I am, and Kiky said, so.
[1:17] Speaker 2: Sorry, y'all. I was tasting this, Sir Nasty. I am
[1:19] Speaker 2: Adina Monroe akaa coffee bean Dean.
[1:21] Speaker 1: Hey, y'all.
[1:23] Speaker 3: So we are back and this week we do have
[1:26] Speaker 3: a guest, but before we introduce her, we want to
[1:28] Speaker 3: make sure that we give you guys a few quick
[1:31] Speaker 3: announcements and then we'll introduce our guests. I'm gonna go
[1:34] Speaker 3: ahead because I want to sit mile.
[1:35] Speaker 2: And that's really good. I can taste the honey. Okay,
[1:39] Speaker 2: quick reminder you guys. October twenty fifth, one of my
[1:41] Speaker 2: good friends is doing a Save the Tatas two point
[1:45] Speaker 2: zero breast cancer awareness walk in Tampa, Florida. If you
[1:48] Speaker 2: remember last week and the week before, I was telling
[1:50] Speaker 2: you guys about her mother, she passed away from breast cancer,
[1:53] Speaker 2: and my friend started this foundation in honor of her mother.
[1:55] Speaker 2: It's called Lulu's Legacy of Love Foundation. It is one
[1:58] Speaker 2: of the very very few breast cancer organizations in the
[2:01] Speaker 2: US that's specifically dedicated to serving African American women. Their
[2:06] Speaker 2: mission is to bridge the gap and care for minority women,
[2:09] Speaker 2: especially those diagnosed with aggressive subtypes of breast cancer. So
[2:12] Speaker 2: if you guys are interested in donating or you would
[2:14] Speaker 2: like to join the walk, go to Lula's Legacy of
[2:17] Speaker 2: Love Foundation dot org. That's Lula's Legacy of Love Foundation
[2:21] Speaker 2: dot org. And I hope y'all can donate or or
[2:23] Speaker 2: go to the walk if you live in Tampa. Also
[2:26] Speaker 2: my Lover Girls trip. I'm so excited, Kiki, We're going
[2:29] Speaker 2: to Thailand.
[2:30] Speaker 3: Oh, that is exciting. Do you know when?
[2:33] Speaker 1: So, I don't know yet.
[2:34] Speaker 2: It's like I'm trying to see, like what would work
[2:35] Speaker 2: for everybody, because everybody want to go in September, and
[2:37] Speaker 2: I'm like, well.
[2:40] Speaker 1: You want to go? Ever, then you know, you gotta look.
[2:42] Speaker 2: At when it's a good time to go to Thailand
[2:43] Speaker 2: because Thailand is one of those places where the tsunamis
[2:45] Speaker 2: be tsunamis.
[2:46] Speaker 1: So we're gonna figure out the month that we're gonna go.
[2:47] Speaker 2: It'll either be September, April, or October. But I wanted
[2:52] Speaker 2: to make sure I told you guys, men you can't come.
[2:57] Speaker 2: There was a moment where I was considering it, and
[2:58] Speaker 2: then too many men started signing up and then all
[3:00] Speaker 2: the girls like I'm not coming if men come, and
[3:01] Speaker 2: I was like, well, the men can't come, y'all can't come.
[3:03] Speaker 1: And you know, why do you know why men can't come?
[3:06] Speaker 3: Why they gonna ruin the trade? Why do you say that?
[3:09] Speaker 2: Because I just feel like the men are gonna come
[3:11] Speaker 2: on the it's already said it was for lover girls only,
[3:14] Speaker 2: So you didn't listen. You already didn't listen. You picked
[3:17] Speaker 2: to come on a trip that said lover girls only.
[3:20] Speaker 2: I just feel like men are going to come and
[3:21] Speaker 2: create confusion because somebody might be fine, or they might
[3:24] Speaker 2: be like, oh yeah, let me take y'all. They're gonna
[3:26] Speaker 2: just add this vibe that doesn't need to be there. Now,
[3:28] Speaker 2: bitch is just crying even more.
[3:29] Speaker 3: So, what's the vibe of the trip?
[3:31] Speaker 2: The vibe of the trip is you are the girl
[3:34] Speaker 2: where you're just tired. God, you had a little heartbreak
[3:39] Speaker 2: these past few years. You had a little sadness. Maybe
[3:42] Speaker 2: your friends had to pull you up out of the bed.
[3:44] Speaker 2: Maybe you lost little weight because you were sad. But
[3:47] Speaker 2: then it turned out looking really good on you, and
[3:50] Speaker 2: you just are like, you know what, I want to
[3:53] Speaker 2: go back outside, and I want to have a good
[3:54] Speaker 2: time in a different country, and I want to try
[3:56] Speaker 2: some new things.
[3:57] Speaker 1: You can date again. You'll be okay, revitalizing.
[4:01] Speaker 2: Okay, little turn up, little torker can't wait to take
[4:03] Speaker 2: y'all to a naughty club in Fouquet. Oh my god,
[4:05] Speaker 2: don't forget I've been to Thailand before. I absolutely love Thailand.
[4:08] Speaker 2: So you could be single, you cannot be single. This
[4:11] Speaker 2: is just if you need a splash, a breath of
[4:14] Speaker 2: fresh air. Join me on my lover girls only trip.
[4:18] Speaker 2: I would love to host you, and I would love
[4:19] Speaker 2: to have you, and we are gonna cap it because
[4:21] Speaker 2: it's a lot of bitches it signed up. Also, y'all
[4:24] Speaker 2: know I'm also a realtor and I'm really excited to
[4:28] Speaker 2: let you guys know I'm doing a virtual home Buyer's
[4:31] Speaker 2: guide on July twenty third. Me and another realtor really
[4:34] Speaker 2: excited about this. Six thirty PM. Will put the link
[4:36] Speaker 2: in the description. If you are an entrepreneur, if you
[4:38] Speaker 2: have a career that is not a normal one. Maybe
[4:41] Speaker 2: you are a podcaster, maybe you are an actress, or
[4:44] Speaker 2: you do voice work. You have some money coming in
[4:46] Speaker 2: and you've done your taxes and you're like dang. I
[4:48] Speaker 2: never really thought about home ownership because it's a little
[4:50] Speaker 2: bit difficult. My money's not always good. But you got
[4:53] Speaker 2: a little bit of organization about yourself.
[4:55] Speaker 1: Join it.
[4:56] Speaker 2: Let me show you some ways that you can get
[4:57] Speaker 2: into home ownership, and it's not as hard as you
[4:59] Speaker 2: might I think it is. I actually just got Lex
[5:01] Speaker 2: into her first house and she didn't think she could
[5:03] Speaker 2: and I was like, bitch, let me show you and
[5:05] Speaker 2: showed her and now she got into a house that
[5:06] Speaker 2: she absolutely loves.
[5:08] Speaker 1: That I picked out.
[5:09] Speaker 3: And that's good.
[5:10] Speaker 1: It's really good. So make sure you guys check that out.
[5:12] Speaker 2: Follow my real estate page Attachment Style homes atl and
[5:16] Speaker 2: if you are looking to buy or know someone, send
[5:18] Speaker 2: them my way.
[5:19] Speaker 1: What's you been at too, Teeky?
[5:22] Speaker 3: You know, I'm still trying to just monitor my heart
[5:25] Speaker 3: right throughout the day because I'm not over Cowboy Carter.
[5:28] Speaker 3: But I'm not gonna talk about it all the time, Okay,
[5:30] Speaker 3: But what I do want to talk about is the
[5:33] Speaker 3: Worst Behavior Tour trip. I'm going back to hedonism, So
[5:35] Speaker 3: all the guys who are getting kicked off the Lover
[5:37] Speaker 3: Girls Trip, you can come with me. We are accepting
[5:41] Speaker 3: the men, the women, and the non binary whoever. Y'all
[5:45] Speaker 3: come on down. We're gonna have a good time. I
[5:47] Speaker 3: don't know themes and details yet. I am so sorry
[5:49] Speaker 3: that I missed the Memorial Day weekend trip, but had
[5:52] Speaker 3: a funeral to go to, so you know, but we
[5:54] Speaker 3: are going back in December. I will put the dates
[5:57] Speaker 3: on the screen in the description because I can't remember
[5:59] Speaker 3: off the time my head. I think it's like the
[6:01] Speaker 3: thirteenth or the eighteenth or something like that that I'll
[6:03] Speaker 3: be there, But it is a December trip. It's gonna
[6:05] Speaker 3: be really fun. I went before. I had a blast.
[6:08] Speaker 3: You don't have to participate in anything that you don't
[6:11] Speaker 3: want to, but there's plenty to do. And what I
[6:13] Speaker 3: tell everybody that the one thing that I took away
[6:16] Speaker 3: when I thought about it and was reflecting on my
[6:18] Speaker 3: way back home, because I was tired as hell and
[6:19] Speaker 3: I was ready to go home. I was just hired,
[6:21] Speaker 3: you know when, Yeah, because it's a lot going on.
[6:25] Speaker 3: You up late and I was not missing any of
[6:27] Speaker 3: the functions.
[6:28] Speaker 1: And then you can go to buffet have a little
[6:30] Speaker 1: snack any hour.
[6:31] Speaker 3: Yeah, I was eating oxtail.
[6:33] Speaker 1: I had it's booty.
[6:35] Speaker 3: I was like wow, and drinks everywhere, there's pools, sand, beaches,
[6:39] Speaker 3: Like you really don't have to leave the resort and
[6:41] Speaker 3: you can pack, like I really think I'm gonna pack
[6:43] Speaker 3: with just to carry on because I was naked most
[6:45] Speaker 3: of the time. I mean for real. Yeah, so it's
[6:48] Speaker 3: gonna be a really good time. Go to worst Behavior
[6:50] Speaker 3: tour dot com click the link in the description and
[6:53] Speaker 3: if you are going, because I told you to make
[6:55] Speaker 3: sure you use my promo code, it is Kiki. I
[6:58] Speaker 3: would really appreciate that so that they know who sent
[7:01] Speaker 3: them or who sent you. And then there was one
[7:04] Speaker 3: other thing I want to just say about, Oh what
[7:06] Speaker 3: I tell everybody to me? It felt like the most
[7:09] Speaker 3: freeing experience. And I'm not saying this to be funny,
[7:12] Speaker 3: but before I went, I was kind of hung up
[7:14] Speaker 3: on like people gonna be naked. I'm gonna have to
[7:17] Speaker 3: be naked. Oh I'm not happy with how my body
[7:19] Speaker 3: is right now? Is everybody gonna be looking at me?
[7:22] Speaker 3: And I said something before and it wasn't meant to
[7:24] Speaker 3: offend people, but I saw a lot of bad bodies
[7:26] Speaker 3: out there and little micro penises and everything, and nobody cared.
[7:32] Speaker 3: And it was just like, after a while, After really
[7:34] Speaker 3: that first stay, I was just like, why am I
[7:35] Speaker 3: so worried about? Ain't nobody worried about me? Why I'm
[7:38] Speaker 3: worried about me? Be out here and have fun. It
[7:40] Speaker 3: felt good not to be worried about what you was
[7:42] Speaker 3: gonna put on every day? M h or how do
[7:45] Speaker 3: I look in this? I'm just me, a blob of me,
[7:48] Speaker 3: and that's what you're gonna get and it's gonna be
[7:49] Speaker 3: a good time. So you guys joined me. Also, I
[7:52] Speaker 3: want to remind you guys to check out my new podcast,
[7:55] Speaker 3: the XOMN Podcast. The episode that came out yesterday was
[7:59] Speaker 3: with David Bane. That one has been one of my favorites.
[8:01] Speaker 3: He was flirting a lot. I was flirting too. That
[8:04] Speaker 3: man is just something about him. I mean, he's single,
[8:07] Speaker 3: he is he is m he is single as a
[8:10] Speaker 3: pringle honey. And my dress then I wore that day.
[8:14] Speaker 3: I think I told you all this before, but oh well,
[8:16] Speaker 3: I'm gonnaell y'all again. Y'all know i'd be on repeat
[8:18] Speaker 3: that dress. It wasn't because I was too fat for
[8:21] Speaker 3: a change. It just the zipper broke. So then it
[8:24] Speaker 3: was like my dress was trying to make me flash
[8:26] Speaker 3: him or something, and I was just like, this dress
[8:29] Speaker 3: is hot in the twat had mine all out. But
[8:32] Speaker 3: it was a really good episode. There's lots of other ones,
[8:34] Speaker 3: and I want you guys to listen, like listen to
[8:36] Speaker 3: every episode even if you don't know who the person is.
[8:39] Speaker 3: Sometimes I didn't either, and I told him that and
[8:42] Speaker 3: I learned. And it's just been really interesting though all
[8:45] Speaker 3: jokes aside, to hear all of these different men open
[8:48] Speaker 3: up and be vulnerable and share their experiences and how
[8:53] Speaker 3: they got to the thought process that they have. And
[8:57] Speaker 3: it's not like they trying to flirt with me or
[8:59] Speaker 3: they're not trying to like show off for anything. Well
[9:03] Speaker 3: A hope. Anyway, y'all tune in and listen to it.
[9:05] Speaker 3: I would really appreciate it. There will be a link
[9:07] Speaker 3: on here and you can just search XO like the
[9:10] Speaker 3: letters XO man. That's one word podcast and you'll see it.
[9:14] Speaker 3: What else should I want to remind you guys about?
[9:17] Speaker 1: Oh?
[9:17] Speaker 3: Yes, the book club. So this month we are reading
[9:21] Speaker 3: what is that girls name? Kennedy Ryan's book whatever the
[9:24] Speaker 3: latest book is. I said I wasn't going to do
[9:26] Speaker 3: another romance to the Fall, but the girls wore me down.
[9:29] Speaker 3: They wore me down because we wasn't really feeling the
[9:31] Speaker 3: last book, The Nothing Man. So we're back to Romance.
[9:34] Speaker 3: But everybody so far has loved it. So you still
[9:36] Speaker 3: have time to join the book club and discuss the
[9:38] Speaker 3: book with us this month and then next month's book.
[9:41] Speaker 3: I forgot what it is, but I'll put it in there,
[9:44] Speaker 3: and then oh, also last thing next month August eighteenth
[9:48] Speaker 3: through the twenty first. I have been selected as a
[9:51] Speaker 3: speaker for the Podcast Movement Conference. So if you are
[9:55] Speaker 3: interested in podcasting, if you are a business that is
[9:57] Speaker 3: looking to advertise, if you are a business that is
[10:01] Speaker 3: doing the production, the behind the scenes, anything that might
[10:04] Speaker 3: touch podcasting or something similar to podcasting, this is a
[10:07] Speaker 3: great place for you to be. You can still buy tickets.
[10:12] Speaker 3: I will put a link and I have a code
[10:14] Speaker 3: so you can get a little discount. But I'll be speaking.
[10:16] Speaker 3: I Am going to be talking about making money from
[10:20] Speaker 3: doing live shows and how to take your podcast and
[10:24] Speaker 3: turn it into a live show that can be successful
[10:26] Speaker 3: that people actually show up to and have a good time.
[10:29] Speaker 3: And I'm like, what are you gonna do it again?
[10:31] Speaker 3: And then you say, oh, I don't know. You gotta
[10:33] Speaker 3: go see Beyonce or somebody else because I'm not on tour,
[10:36] Speaker 3: but yeah, that's what I'll be doing. It's in Dallas,
[10:38] Speaker 3: Texas this year, so that'll be good to be home
[10:40] Speaker 3: for a few days. I don't know which day my
[10:43] Speaker 3: session is, but when you buy the past to the conference,
[10:47] Speaker 3: it is for the whole conference. So I hope to
[10:49] Speaker 3: see you guys there. If you're going to be there,
[10:51] Speaker 3: send me a DM so that we can link up
[10:53] Speaker 3: while we're there.
[10:54] Speaker 2: That's exciting. I forgot one thing. If you guys don't
[10:56] Speaker 2: want to wait until next year to travel with me,
[11:00] Speaker 2: Paradise and Vibe is still a thing. We're going to Sedona, Arizona,
[11:03] Speaker 2: August twenty fourth of the twenty seventh. It is not
[11:05] Speaker 2: too late to sign up. If you go to Paradise
[11:07] Speaker 2: and Vibe dot com check out the Vibe Fest. It's
[11:11] Speaker 2: going to be such a time. They now have day passes,
[11:14] Speaker 2: So if you live in Arizona and you don't want
[11:15] Speaker 2: to buy the whole package and stay at the Enchantment Resort,
[11:18] Speaker 2: which I don't.
[11:18] Speaker 1: Know why you wouldn't want to, because it's amazing.
[11:20] Speaker 2: You can get a day pass and you can pick
[11:22] Speaker 2: and choose which days you want to come to and
[11:23] Speaker 2: there's also a virtual experience. So but to Paradise and
[11:26] Speaker 2: Vibe dot Com can't wait to see you and.
[11:28] Speaker 1: You guys, I'll get to interview you, sir. Ray like excited.
[11:31] Speaker 1: I'm so excited.
[11:32] Speaker 2: I absolutely love her and I can't wait to tell
[11:34] Speaker 2: her that to her face. So I'm really excited about that.
[11:40] Speaker 2: She doesn't take a lot of interviews, and so she did.
[11:43] Speaker 2: She did research on Paradise and Vibe, so she knows
[11:45] Speaker 2: who each and every one of us are and it's
[11:47] Speaker 2: just it's very exciting. So now for this week's guest,
[11:54] Speaker 2: we have sexual health expert and writer Sex with Ashley.
[12:00] Speaker 1: And podcaster and podcaster. You do a lot, girl, I'm trying.
[12:04] Speaker 1: How are you doing? I'm great. How are y'all doing?
[12:07] Speaker 3: If you are an og listener? We had Ashley on
[12:12] Speaker 3: back in the dark ages when we didn't know if
[12:14] Speaker 3: we were going to live or die, if the world
[12:16] Speaker 3: was ending or what. Everybody's faces were covered in mass
[12:20] Speaker 3: and we were all in our rooms or my kitchens.
[12:22] Speaker 1: And podcasters were still trying to podcast. We were like,
[12:24] Speaker 1: we're gonna die. Who can we collaborate with?
[12:27] Speaker 3: Now's the time, get these stories out before it's all over.
[12:31] Speaker 2: So we did a virtual episode with Ashley and it
[12:33] Speaker 2: was dusty because it was zoom. Now we have her
[12:37] Speaker 2: here in persons. How have things been since COVID? Oh great,
[12:42] Speaker 2: because I'm moved to let us since COVID? Where were
[12:44] Speaker 2: you at North Carolina?
[12:45] Speaker 1: Where I'm from?
[12:47] Speaker 3: North Carolina? Are you from?
[12:48] Speaker 2: I'm from a small town ride outside of Fabvue where
[12:51] Speaker 2: j Cole's from.
[12:51] Speaker 1: Okay, I'm from there, Okay, Jay Cale.
[12:55] Speaker 2: I went to the street club with him one time,
[12:58] Speaker 2: very random. Yeah, he's such a respectful guy.
[13:00] Speaker 1: How did that happen?
[13:01] Speaker 2: My my nephew's mom, who was my brother's ex girlfriend.
[13:05] Speaker 2: We were really cool and she plays the violin. She
[13:07] Speaker 2: did a lot of work with him, and so one
[13:09] Speaker 2: day she was like, come to the studio. And I
[13:10] Speaker 2: went to the studio and I didn't know what to expect,
[13:12] Speaker 2: and it was she it was Ja Cole, and it
[13:14] Speaker 2: was just like, oh my gosh, this is just so cool.
[13:16] Speaker 2: And then he was like, y'all want go to your club
[13:17] Speaker 2: and we went and it was just it was really good.
[13:19] Speaker 2: It was a really good time. So welcome back to Cocktails, Ashley.
[13:23] Speaker 1: Thank you for having me before we play. I'm curious
[13:26] Speaker 1: to know.
[13:26] Speaker 2: I always want to know what makes somebody a sex expert?
[13:30] Speaker 1: Good question? Do you just call yourself that? You talk
[13:34] Speaker 1: about it a lot? I just use a title because
[13:37] Speaker 1: it just it just kind of sounds great.
[13:39] Speaker 3: But I think a year in a boat it was
[13:41] Speaker 3: a lot of people.
[13:41] Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't.
[13:42] Speaker 2: I don't like the title educator because I don't think
[13:46] Speaker 2: I'm an educator because I'm not educating people. I don't
[13:48] Speaker 2: feel like it. I just talk about sticks and right
[13:50] Speaker 2: about it. So I'm like, okay, so I need a
[13:51] Speaker 2: title for something when somebody likes, oh, who was Ashley?
[13:54] Speaker 1: So that's just the title.
[13:56] Speaker 2: But would you consider yourself an expert? Like you talk
[13:58] Speaker 2: about it so much that you are like, I do
[14:00] Speaker 2: you can know what I'm talking about the basics of it, Okay?
[14:03] Speaker 2: I think though, I think sex is ever changing, evolving
[14:06] Speaker 2: and what makes me come and not make you come?
[14:08] Speaker 2: So you know, I'm not a sex expert for all people,
[14:12] Speaker 2: just for some people. That's a very honest way to
[14:15] Speaker 2: put it, though, because like when people say certain things,
[14:17] Speaker 2: it's like everybody is not the same in any avenue
[14:20] Speaker 2: or line of work. So I appreciate the person that's
[14:22] Speaker 2: like listen.
[14:23] Speaker 1: Like I got.
[14:24] Speaker 2: It's a lot that comes into this so thing or two.
[14:29] Speaker 3: What made you get into that?
[14:32] Speaker 2: So originally, so I have a public health degree my background,
[14:37] Speaker 2: and so I wanted to work with black women HIV,
[14:40] Speaker 2: which which is I do. But I realized that we
[14:43] Speaker 2: also didn't really talk about pleasure, and so sex would
[14:46] Speaker 2: actually originally started as me talking about my sex journey
[14:49] Speaker 2: because I was a part of a whole cult in
[14:50] Speaker 2: my twenties. Different long story, a cult, like an actual one,
[14:53] Speaker 2: like a religious quote. So you have lived some life, okay,
[14:58] Speaker 2: So so one point in my life, some people don't
[15:00] Speaker 2: have six, right, And so then when I got to
[15:03] Speaker 2: like twenty eight, twenty nine point thirty, I was like, oh,
[15:06] Speaker 2: I want to like fuck now, and I wanted to
[15:08] Speaker 2: like experience what that is. I didn't know learn my
[15:11] Speaker 2: own body. So sex with Ashley was a blog about
[15:14] Speaker 2: be trying to figure out what that was, and it
[15:16] Speaker 2: kind of just came something else. That's kind of how
[15:19] Speaker 2: it evolved. Yeah, that's kind of how it started. So
[15:22] Speaker 2: it started like when I was twenty eight.
[15:25] Speaker 1: Wow, I got questions about that cold me too? Oh wait, wait.
[15:32] Speaker 3: I'm I'm glad we blued on today Baby's song here
[15:36] Speaker 3: because last time all of it would have toppled off.
[15:39] Speaker 3: We're gonna play actually a quick game of our card
[15:42] Speaker 3: game I'm curious to know you guys can buy it,
[15:44] Speaker 3: and I'm curious tonow dot com. And we're gonna ask
[15:47] Speaker 3: you some questions before we get carried away, asking you
[15:49] Speaker 3: a whole bunch of other stuff because I got some
[15:50] Speaker 3: to you. I want to know. So I tracked found pleasure. Yeah,
[15:53] Speaker 3: it doesn't take much. I was about to say, what
[15:56] Speaker 3: are we doing? Yeah, just that quick, okay, I have one.
[16:00] Speaker 3: Have you ever had sex with a coworker current coworker,
[16:07] Speaker 3: have to be current? Just well they were currently your
[16:11] Speaker 3: coworker when you had sex with them.
[16:12] Speaker 1: No, we worked at the same place, but then we
[16:15] Speaker 1: had sex after not.
[16:17] Speaker 3: Yeah, I would say absolutely not. I've never done that.
[16:20] Speaker 1: Absolutely not.
[16:23] Speaker 2: I'm curious to know what would your most recent ex
[16:26] Speaker 2: say about you as a partner.
[16:30] Speaker 1: You worked on me like you probably have.
[16:32] Speaker 2: A bit, I don't know, argue, okay, and so he
[16:37] Speaker 2: probably did that bitch, So that's probably what they probably
[16:40] Speaker 2: would say. In fun though, I'm a good person, but
[16:44] Speaker 2: as a partner, like I'm caring as a partner. I
[16:48] Speaker 2: think for me, I'm also very independent and I wear
[16:51] Speaker 2: that like boss bitch energy that men do not like.
[16:55] Speaker 2: So is that I always think that's so interesting because
[16:58] Speaker 2: the men that's what they say that they want it.
[17:00] Speaker 2: And then when you meet the women that are like,
[17:02] Speaker 2: oh no, I actually don't need you to do anything.
[17:04] Speaker 2: Then they're like, you don't, well.
[17:06] Speaker 1: You think you can do everything?
[17:08] Speaker 3: What do you want? Yeah?
[17:11] Speaker 1: Will you help me paying my carn? No, you don't
[17:13] Speaker 1: you know good with your finances? Shut up? And you're like,
[17:16] Speaker 1: that's my tell me that I had.
[17:17] Speaker 2: I I live like a twenty five year old because
[17:20] Speaker 2: you know I'm not good finances. I said that I'm
[17:22] Speaker 2: not either. I go a finances child. I've known that's
[17:26] Speaker 2: I was in college. Every closing I have, I started
[17:28] Speaker 2: looking at stuff I know I don't need to be
[17:29] Speaker 2: getting Why.
[17:31] Speaker 1: Ports the car you got?
[17:32] Speaker 2: Off? Right? I have?
[17:35] Speaker 1: And a bad type bitch right?
[17:37] Speaker 3: You want every day?
[17:39] Speaker 2: You don't know if you were to be here tomorrow
[17:42] Speaker 2: was a thing I was yellow for like this, yeah,
[17:47] Speaker 2: so so maybe like yeah.
[17:50] Speaker 1: No, I mean we're in partnership.
[17:52] Speaker 2: Were supposed to help each other like show me the way, baby,
[17:54] Speaker 2: you're you're you're better finances than me, So show me.
[17:57] Speaker 3: Yeah, since you want to lead so bad, since you
[17:59] Speaker 3: got your no, every damn thing. Okay. Have you ever
[18:03] Speaker 3: had sex with more than one person in twenty four hours?
[18:06] Speaker 1: Yes? Multiple times?
[18:08] Speaker 3: Okay, was it all together?
[18:10] Speaker 2: No? No?
[18:11] Speaker 1: It was uh most probably. I remember.
[18:13] Speaker 2: This is the one that states in memory, I had
[18:16] Speaker 2: one of my exes came to Atlanta. He was kind
[18:19] Speaker 2: of showed it. He was here for a concert, sit
[18:20] Speaker 2: in my house. We fucked, and then my boyfriend came
[18:25] Speaker 2: the next morning.
[18:27] Speaker 3: This one was better, just so different the ex.
[18:33] Speaker 1: Because we haven't had sex in a while.
[18:35] Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't do it.
[18:37] Speaker 1: I don't do it.
[18:39] Speaker 2: Okay, Ashley, I'm curious to know what's your favorite part
[18:42] Speaker 2: of your own body?
[18:44] Speaker 1: My lips? You do have nice lips?
[18:47] Speaker 3: You do? I love a nice list of us be
[18:50] Speaker 3: paying for? What's another one? Have you ever record? What
[19:00] Speaker 3: did yourself or been recorded? Having said yes, I know
[19:03] Speaker 3: you're gonna say that, so I have a follow up
[19:05] Speaker 3: that's not on the card, but I'm making it up. Okay,
[19:08] Speaker 3: what's your your go to when being recorded? Like? What
[19:13] Speaker 3: moves do you like to do? How do you like
[19:14] Speaker 3: to act? Is there a certain way that you wanted
[19:17] Speaker 3: to look or do you want it to be like raw,
[19:19] Speaker 3: super up close.
[19:21] Speaker 2: Sweat, you don't care if you look cute or not. Yeah,
[19:23] Speaker 2: it's kind of in a moment, so it's kind of
[19:25] Speaker 2: like raw, what's the vibe? Kind of raw up close,
[19:29] Speaker 2: very amateur whatever doing at the time. One of my favorite,
[19:33] Speaker 2: one of my favorite videos from back in the day,
[19:36] Speaker 2: day day was I had a video with like a
[19:40] Speaker 2: cucumber okay, and you know it was like a stimulation
[19:46] Speaker 2: of it was six, not just basal six. So Cumber
[19:49] Speaker 2: put a kind of on it and it's big ass
[19:52] Speaker 2: cucumber two. And you know, it was a video of
[19:54] Speaker 2: me in starting into my vagina, you know, in and
[19:56] Speaker 2: out and out. And so I sent that to this
[20:00] Speaker 2: guy who al was saying the time. This has been
[20:01] Speaker 2: over a decade ago, and every one time we will talk,
[20:04] Speaker 2: he like you super that video.
[20:05] Speaker 3: I'm like, it's safe to work.
[20:08] Speaker 2: If you just randomly send a man videos like that,
[20:11] Speaker 2: you can damn You're getting to do anything you want.
[20:14] Speaker 1: I mean, like, I just that is it really is true?
[20:18] Speaker 2: Like if you just do that and they don't have
[20:19] Speaker 2: to ask you, and you just like you would be surprised, how.
[20:22] Speaker 1: But I don't. I don't like being asked for videos.
[20:25] Speaker 3: It's weird.
[20:25] Speaker 1: I ain't extend it.
[20:27] Speaker 2: Let me be they want to do it, don't be asked.
[20:30] Speaker 2: I can't stand it because you're never gonna get one
[20:31] Speaker 2: as Yeah.
[20:32] Speaker 3: You know you probably still get it, but I'm gonna
[20:34] Speaker 3: roll my eye. Is depending on who you are.
[20:37] Speaker 2: I think if you ask me for one, I don't
[20:39] Speaker 2: have many. I don't do it a lot, but there
[20:40] Speaker 2: are a few people that can get a video or
[20:41] Speaker 2: two from me. But if you ask, you're gonna get
[20:44] Speaker 2: one that's recycled that everybody got.
[20:45] Speaker 3: Oh yeah, it's not gonna be fresh content.
[20:47] Speaker 1: Oh I'll give you a og one if you don't ask,
[20:49] Speaker 1: like I'm creating it, and let me.
[20:50] Speaker 3: Watch the whole thing. Make sure ain't nobody else in here.
[20:55] Speaker 1: Okay, this is my last one.
[20:56] Speaker 2: I'm curious to know what's the longest you've waited to
[20:59] Speaker 2: have sex with someone? Okay, So I'm an O hope
[21:05] Speaker 2: to start there. So waited to have sex with someone? Okay,
[21:14] Speaker 2: So I need I need sold questions. Okay, so one
[21:18] Speaker 2: person was like a year, but we didn't live in
[21:20] Speaker 2: the same state. Does that count or no?
[21:22] Speaker 3: I think it counts because were you strapped to a bed,
[21:25] Speaker 3: were you a house arrest, you would have left. But
[21:28] Speaker 3: you did it. Well, yeah you still waited.
[21:30] Speaker 1: Yeah I waited.
[21:31] Speaker 2: I was younger in my twenties, you know, trying for
[21:33] Speaker 2: y'all life. I didn't have a job, so I couldn't
[21:35] Speaker 2: get there. That's probably what That's probably what it was.
[21:37] Speaker 2: But in like able to get to you. I believe
[21:41] Speaker 2: in fucking sooner than later tomorrow. It's not I believe
[21:47] Speaker 2: in before feelings because I need to know if I
[21:50] Speaker 2: like it, not before I catch feelings. So for me,
[21:53] Speaker 2: my my roalle thumb is to do it sooner than
[21:57] Speaker 2: later so that I can know, because if I don't
[21:59] Speaker 2: like it, there's no one's going on. So you've never
[22:02] Speaker 2: so you've never had feelings for someone without having sex
[22:05] Speaker 2: with them.
[22:06] Speaker 1: That's kind of like have.
[22:07] Speaker 3: You ever had sex with someone and you think that
[22:10] Speaker 3: that is what made you catch the feelings cause the
[22:12] Speaker 3: sex was just so damn good.
[22:14] Speaker 1: Oh yes, okay, I think we've all been like digmatized.
[22:17] Speaker 3: Once I know I have more than that.
[22:19] Speaker 2: Yeah, So, like, I don't think it happens now though,
[22:22] Speaker 2: like I think now because you know, again I'm an
[22:25] Speaker 2: oh so I've had a lot of good dick, so
[22:29] Speaker 2: it has to be something very specially like oh yes
[22:31] Speaker 2: I want I want it.
[22:33] Speaker 1: But like fall in love with it?
[22:34] Speaker 3: It is different, I know, yeah.
[22:36] Speaker 2: Like it has it has to be something like really special.
[22:39] Speaker 2: You gotta be like, I don't know special, when.
[22:42] Speaker 3: Did that happen in your life? Like how long ago
[22:44] Speaker 3: would you say you hit that point? Mine is pretty recent.
[22:47] Speaker 1: Of not being digmatized, no more of just kind.
[22:51] Speaker 3: Of but like also being like, okay, it has to
[22:53] Speaker 3: be something more to make me, you know, interested in
[22:56] Speaker 3: you just because I like the sex, not necessarily digmatized.
[22:59] Speaker 3: Just then, how old am I thirty six? I'll be
[23:03] Speaker 3: thirty seven this year?
[23:05] Speaker 1: Okay, so I think around that age for me.
[23:10] Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, for real reason.
[23:12] Speaker 2: I think you get to a point where like you
[23:14] Speaker 2: just kind of like a right, I think that's my business,
[23:17] Speaker 2: but I think it's the point like okay, like I've
[23:19] Speaker 2: I've had enough sex, right, like okay, like you know
[23:22] Speaker 2: you understand that good dick is like buses, like no
[23:27] Speaker 2: one might it might not come tomorrow, but I'll get
[23:29] Speaker 2: it again. So like if you go cool, you want
[23:32] Speaker 2: be my last good dick experience, So it'll it might
[23:35] Speaker 2: take a year, might, but good dick is coming back
[23:39] Speaker 2: because I've had enough good dick to know that. So
[23:42] Speaker 2: you're I'm not going to be like digmatized or sad
[23:44] Speaker 2: if you leave.
[23:46] Speaker 3: Yeah. I think I had sex with somebody and then
[23:49] Speaker 3: later had text with somebody else and I thought it
[23:50] Speaker 3: was good. Then I was like, I don't really feel
[23:53] Speaker 3: no difference between these two. It's kind of like I'm
[23:56] Speaker 3: repeating and I'm fucked enough they're repeating, so now I'm
[23:59] Speaker 3: over it. There's nothing. It's not feeling new. I think
[24:02] Speaker 3: the feelings new.
[24:03] Speaker 1: I think I think too, like it has to be.
[24:09] Speaker 2: Once you also, once you have enough sex, you have
[24:11] Speaker 2: to like do something different, Like, okay, so I've done
[24:14] Speaker 2: Missionary a billion times, Let's let's spice it up. Let's
[24:18] Speaker 2: hang from feelings. Oh you know, let's do something. Let's
[24:21] Speaker 2: let's jazz it up a bit. You know, I think
[24:23] Speaker 2: I think I also like men who are into different.
[24:29] Speaker 3: So yeah, the man that I have had, there's been
[24:33] Speaker 3: a few who are into different. Most of them are not.
[24:35] Speaker 3: And what I always find is that they love to
[24:38] Speaker 3: talk a good game in the beginning. But I'm like,
[24:40] Speaker 3: this is pretty basic, especially, like, yeah, I tell them,
[24:46] Speaker 3: like if they start talking shit like they're just so
[24:48] Speaker 3: nasty and they're so I'm like, this is what people
[24:51] Speaker 3: call vanilla. It's okay, and it's fine, but like, stop
[24:55] Speaker 3: acting like you're really doing You're not doing anything special.
[24:58] Speaker 3: There's nothing here is you and your body. And you
[25:01] Speaker 3: ain't got no extra tricks up your sleeve. You have
[25:04] Speaker 3: no finger, wrist movements, no neck movements. You're not touching
[25:07] Speaker 3: places on my body or yours that are not normally touched.
[25:11] Speaker 3: This is basic. It's okay, but let's call a spade
[25:13] Speaker 3: a space. You've got good, solid cars like Toyotas, Hondas,
[25:19] Speaker 3: and then you've got the exotic cars. So like, some
[25:22] Speaker 3: people are more just basic and some people are exotic
[25:26] Speaker 3: and they just need to accept it and it's okay.
[25:28] Speaker 1: Yeah. Also, I was like, you know, I am a sexually.
[25:33] Speaker 2: Fluid guy magnet, okay, right, And so like guys who
[25:38] Speaker 2: are into things tend to find me, I don't look
[25:43] Speaker 2: for them find me. So I mean guys who are
[25:45] Speaker 2: into all types of all types of things that really
[25:49] Speaker 2: heteronormously people will find like, oh, I don't like that.
[25:52] Speaker 3: It's a little funny.
[25:57] Speaker 2: But those are the guys that find me, and I
[25:59] Speaker 2: think because I'm able to make them feel very comfortable
[26:02] Speaker 2: and like, Okay, we can try that. We can we
[26:04] Speaker 2: can do that. It's not it's not too many things
[26:06] Speaker 2: that I won't try.
[26:07] Speaker 1: Has there ever been something that where you're like, absolutely not?
[26:10] Speaker 1: I don't know.
[26:11] Speaker 2: So. I don't like pain, anything that's painful for me,
[26:13] Speaker 2: anything with like waste also for me, waste like poo poop.
[26:19] Speaker 1: Oh, I'm good on blood. I'm good on that.
[26:24] Speaker 2: The only thing of blood pee uh, feces, pain, those
[26:29] Speaker 2: are those are dead nose. I'm not trying those, but
[26:32] Speaker 2: I know people who are into that. I remember that one.
[26:35] Speaker 1: Did you come to Frolican?
[26:36] Speaker 3: I didn't left for something else, Like I just went
[26:39] Speaker 3: to that one thing and used toy.
[26:41] Speaker 2: I stayed and I kept going to We had had
[26:43] Speaker 2: somebody on the Sean camera there like do you want
[26:44] Speaker 2: to take it to the frolicon? And we ended up
[26:46] Speaker 2: he went to one night and I went to the
[26:47] Speaker 2: whole weekend because there was a lot that I see
[26:49] Speaker 2: in Atlanta, right, Yeah, this was several years ago, and
[26:52] Speaker 2: I knew that I was not going to participate in
[26:54] Speaker 2: a lot of it. But I'm also one of those
[26:55] Speaker 2: people where like I want to see it, like I
[26:57] Speaker 2: want to see it just to see what the people
[26:58] Speaker 2: are doing. And when you say like the blood, it
[27:00] Speaker 2: was like they did this needle thing.
[27:02] Speaker 1: I don't know what it's called. And the lady had
[27:04] Speaker 1: the slave man.
[27:05] Speaker 2: He had his mouth like wrapped up and he had
[27:08] Speaker 2: a collar on and she had a leash on him
[27:09] Speaker 2: and she was putting needles to his backfat and he
[27:11] Speaker 2: kept it in like and I was like, I was
[27:14] Speaker 2: just standing there.
[27:15] Speaker 3: Like, wow, people playing with knives and shit, and this
[27:18] Speaker 3: is not a murder festival, you know. So when somebody
[27:21] Speaker 3: is talking about they are freaking you. You look shocked.
[27:23] Speaker 3: If I say well are you into this? This and this?
[27:25] Speaker 3: And they looking like, bitch, where did you come from?
[27:27] Speaker 3: See that's what I'm talking about. You know, you really
[27:29] Speaker 3: not know free I think it.
[27:30] Speaker 2: Behooves people to buy tickets and stuff like that, even
[27:32] Speaker 2: if you know you're not doing anything and just go
[27:34] Speaker 2: and just see what's happening, because it really was interesting.
[27:37] Speaker 1: I was stopping and asking people questions.
[27:39] Speaker 3: I was like, oh, does that hurt and it's interesting too,
[27:42] Speaker 3: because there are like that I would never just in
[27:45] Speaker 3: my mind, I wouldn't think of that being a sexually
[27:48] Speaker 3: pleasurable experience. It sounds like pain, but some people really
[27:53] Speaker 3: like it. I saw a video somewhere on the internet
[27:56] Speaker 3: today and this girl was like getting spanked really hard
[28:00] Speaker 3: with one of those paddles, and I'm like, see, to me,
[28:03] Speaker 3: that looks like a real punishment. I'm like, a fun punishment.
[28:06] Speaker 3: I'm not into that. But if you live in your box,
[28:08] Speaker 3: you'll never know about these things. And maybe you did
[28:11] Speaker 3: kind of like it.
[28:12] Speaker 2: He was never scared of so, like, I know, I
[28:14] Speaker 2: don't like I don't like paddles because I need it.
[28:18] Speaker 2: So I tried it with somebody. It's like, oh, it's
[28:20] Speaker 2: not for me, But you don't know what. You don't
[28:21] Speaker 2: like it too, you know, until you try more things. Yeah,
[28:24] Speaker 2: and some of y'all do like paying y'all keep going
[28:26] Speaker 2: back to the same man that's breaking your heart, stopping
[28:28] Speaker 2: on it and g No, you got a baby boy
[28:30] Speaker 2: somebody else and now you're marrying.
[28:32] Speaker 3: Him, taking it in before you even get wet. You
[28:35] Speaker 3: like it rough.
[28:36] Speaker 1: He's not listening to you at all. He's not helping
[28:38] Speaker 1: at home with the kid.
[28:39] Speaker 3: Like you like a little pain, you might be into
[28:41] Speaker 3: BDSM look it up. There's lots of things out there. Okay,
[28:47] Speaker 3: well that's it for I'm curious to know again. If
[28:50] Speaker 3: you guys want to purchase it, please do. I'm curious
[28:52] Speaker 3: to know dot com. Now we're going to move on
[28:56] Speaker 3: real quick to weird sex. It's not too long, and
[28:58] Speaker 3: then we're gonna.
[28:59] Speaker 2: Talk to I think I hate the strong word I
[29:06] Speaker 2: got year's.
[29:08] Speaker 1: It's uncomfortable, but it's so.
[29:11] Speaker 3: It left me feeling worse than when I came in.
[29:14] Speaker 3: I don't know.
[29:15] Speaker 1: I like how you can see the.
[29:18] Speaker 3: Growth.
[29:19] Speaker 1: You gotta cleanse it out.
[29:21] Speaker 3: I'd rather just drink a smooth moved tea that the
[29:25] Speaker 3: Ballerina tea and just put it down the toilet. All right, Okay,
[29:29] Speaker 3: so this one is about a man who got a
[29:32] Speaker 3: colonic during her first date at her house. Okay, so
[29:37] Speaker 3: the story is A woman on TikTok went viral after
[29:41] Speaker 3: sharing that her hinge date came to her house and
[29:44] Speaker 3: asked to use her bathroom immediately. I mean, as a
[29:49] Speaker 3: person who frequently has to go, I get it right,
[29:52] Speaker 3: that would not be alarming to me. Sometimes you just
[29:54] Speaker 3: you gotta relieve yourself. I wouldn't, it wouldn't be a ship.
[29:57] Speaker 3: But you know, anyways, Okay, so she fit. He was
[30:00] Speaker 3: just nervous. But after twenty five minutes and some suspicious noises,
[30:06] Speaker 3: she peaked in and I'm like, you went up in
[30:08] Speaker 3: there like you didn't smell nothing.
[30:11] Speaker 2: Along came polydam No, no, no, it's not.
[30:17] Speaker 3: I just have to tell y'all, I have been sleeping
[30:20] Speaker 3: so good lately, even though I might have trouble falling asleep.
[30:24] Speaker 3: I just remind myself getting them Brooklyn bed in bed
[30:27] Speaker 3: and now you guys, I have upgraded my entire sleep experience,
[30:31] Speaker 3: because that's exactly what it is. I got the mattress
[30:35] Speaker 3: before I told you guys, I got the Sedona Elite
[30:38] Speaker 3: same so comfortable. But now I've upgraded my pillows. I
[30:43] Speaker 3: got the Luxury Jel Cooling pillow. You look like it's
[30:49] Speaker 3: firm and it's heavy, but it's not so firm that
[30:52] Speaker 3: it's like you're laying on a brick. It just feels
[30:54] Speaker 3: like it's your head can really lay into it without
[30:57] Speaker 3: like feeling like you don't have support. I'm not waking
[30:59] Speaker 3: up with the neck pains or any of that. I
[31:02] Speaker 3: absolutely love it.
[31:04] Speaker 2: I every time it's time to get in my bed,
[31:07] Speaker 2: I whisper to myself, we're brooklyn At. You're Brooklyn At,
[31:12] Speaker 2: and I just get into my Brooklyn bedding.
[31:15] Speaker 1: I got sheets. I got some sheets.
[31:17] Speaker 2: I got the they're the bamboo breatheable white sheets.
[31:21] Speaker 3: How do you like those?
[31:23] Speaker 2: It's actually at first I was like, can you really
[31:25] Speaker 2: feel a difference.
[31:26] Speaker 1: It feels like you can feel the cooling.
[31:29] Speaker 2: You can feel that it's breathable. I have the pillow
[31:31] Speaker 2: cases also. I also got the cooling jel pillar. I
[31:34] Speaker 2: got two of them. You guys, I mean we're Brooklyn At.
[31:40] Speaker 1: Were it at? Baby?
[31:41] Speaker 3: Sleep quality?
[31:43] Speaker 2: Sleep is so important, like especially when you start to
[31:48] Speaker 2: get older, y'all. You know your body aches and pains,
[31:52] Speaker 2: and if you're doing the things that people do in beds,
[31:55] Speaker 2: you also.
[31:55] Speaker 1: Want to be comfortable, like you don't want to be
[31:57] Speaker 1: just sinking.
[31:58] Speaker 2: I am just so impressed with this brand, like because
[32:01] Speaker 2: they really hold value to what they say.
[32:04] Speaker 3: Yeah, there's no waking up on the wrong side of
[32:07] Speaker 3: the bed when you've got a Brooklyn bed, Okay, come on,
[32:09] Speaker 3: because it is going to feel good. And then if
[32:12] Speaker 3: you upgrade, they have not only mattresses, you guys, but
[32:15] Speaker 3: they have the pillows, they've got protectors. I think next,
[32:19] Speaker 3: I really want to get a knee pillow. I was
[32:21] Speaker 3: eyeing it. I wasn't really sure because sometimes I'm a
[32:24] Speaker 3: side sleeper a lot of the times and that hurts.
[32:29] Speaker 3: But it has improved being on this mattress. And I
[32:32] Speaker 3: think it's how it's like holding my whole body up
[32:34] Speaker 3: because down at the bottom I'm a little heavy, y'all.
[32:37] Speaker 3: So anyway, the bed is very supportive. But I think
[32:41] Speaker 3: I will just elevate this entire sleep experience. Y'all know,
[32:44] Speaker 3: I don't be sleeping like talk about it, but I
[32:46] Speaker 3: kind of look forward to it. This is something that
[32:48] Speaker 3: I enjoy romanticizing. I have my bathroom routine, and I've
[32:52] Speaker 3: taken my bath and my shower whatever, and I get
[32:55] Speaker 3: real clean and then I get all lotioned up. I'm exfoliated.
[32:59] Speaker 3: I just want to feel good. Yeah, I lay down
[33:01] Speaker 3: and I watch investigation Discovery Channel and fall asleep to
[33:05] Speaker 3: true Murders and I still wake up feeling peaceful.
[33:08] Speaker 2: Y'all need to join me, You guys need to join us.
[33:10] Speaker 2: So if you would like to join us and sleep
[33:13] Speaker 2: like a goddess. Go to Brooklyn Betting dot com and
[33:17] Speaker 2: use code Cocktails at checkout to get thirty percent off.
[33:22] Speaker 2: That's a lot of percentages off site wide. This offer
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[33:33] Speaker 2: Brooklynbetting dot com and use code cocktails for thirty percent
[33:37] Speaker 2: off site wide. Brooklyn Betting dot com and use code cocktails.
[33:42] Speaker 3: And now we'll get back to the show.
[33:47] Speaker 1: You said a man is not a necessity.
[33:50] Speaker 4: A man is a luxury like deserve. Yeah, a man
[33:55] Speaker 4: is absolutely not necessity.
[33:57] Speaker 1: Did you mean that to sound mean bitter?
[34:00] Speaker 4: Oh not at all.
[34:02] Speaker 3: I adore dessert. I love man. I think man are
[34:05] Speaker 3: the coolest, but you don't really need them to live.
[34:12] Speaker 2: Ben Seller and Jennifer Aniston, and he does. He does
[34:15] Speaker 2: that in the movie Is So Funny.
[34:17] Speaker 3: Along came, let me write so I can watch it.
[34:20] Speaker 3: I've been looking for more movies to watch. Oh I
[34:23] Speaker 3: didn't write this right, but whatever, Okay, So she peeked in,
[34:27] Speaker 3: only to discover he had brought his own kalonic irrigation
[34:32] Speaker 3: kit like an enema, and was giving himself a di
[34:36] Speaker 3: y n Emma in her bathroom. I don't know who
[34:39] Speaker 3: else will give me an enema besides me, but okay,
[34:42] Speaker 3: would you? And I wanted to ask you guys, because
[34:44] Speaker 3: I thought that was weird. He said he wanted to
[34:47] Speaker 3: be prepared, and I'm like, no, exactly. I guess he
[34:50] Speaker 3: had they met on him. Okay, okay, but I wouldn't
[34:55] Speaker 3: even pick that on. I wouldn't think I would get
[34:59] Speaker 3: that hinge. That's more of a plenty of fish field.
[35:06] Speaker 3: One of the other ones.
[35:08] Speaker 1: Would be scared, sir, what are you in here doing?
[35:12] Speaker 3: Why did we get here?
[35:13] Speaker 1: That's details.
[35:14] Speaker 2: I feel like he had a conversation about something show
[35:18] Speaker 2: with his ass.
[35:19] Speaker 3: She probably said she was a pegasaurus in her bio
[35:22] Speaker 3: and he was like, oh, let me get ready, because
[35:24] Speaker 3: this is my.
[35:24] Speaker 1: Tween who does that.
[35:26] Speaker 2: And maybe he had never had it done for he
[35:27] Speaker 2: was like, I finally gonna get somebody in my boy.
[35:29] Speaker 3: Maybe he wanted his ass eight but you don't need
[35:32] Speaker 3: to have a color, maybe she said she Well, that
[35:36] Speaker 3: was considerate though, because I told you about that time
[35:38] Speaker 3: I went down there and I was gonna do it
[35:39] Speaker 3: for this man. But it smelt like rhinoceros ass back there,
[35:42] Speaker 3: and I was like, the nerve of you you hate me,
[35:44] Speaker 3: You literally hate me because you tried to kill me
[35:48] Speaker 3: with the poisons and toxins that your your body is
[35:51] Speaker 3: literally expelling. Anyway, I wanted you to know would you
[35:55] Speaker 3: rather both of you? Would you rather somebody on a
[35:59] Speaker 3: first date being too prepared and too eager for something
[36:02] Speaker 3: sexual if it even if it wasn't already discussed, Or
[36:06] Speaker 3: would you rather somebody being overly spontaneous and just like
[36:10] Speaker 3: going for ship that you didn't know.
[36:14] Speaker 1: I really eager? Now I feel like you're creeping weirdos.
[36:20] Speaker 1: I don't want to do it now.
[36:22] Speaker 3: Spontaneous is way better than overly eager and prepared, like
[36:26] Speaker 3: it's too much planning and it's get me.
[36:30] Speaker 2: Yeah, so you knew he was, you know, and my
[36:34] Speaker 2: mind just goes left When I start thinking you're weird,
[36:36] Speaker 2: like weird like that, It's like my mind is gonna
[36:38] Speaker 2: go left now.
[36:38] Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, is this how you get your victims? Whoever?
[36:42] Speaker 3: Am I going to be on dateline? What are you
[36:44] Speaker 3: going to say to my mother now that I'm gone?
[36:46] Speaker 2: Like?
[36:46] Speaker 1: What are we doing? And first of all, I also
[36:48] Speaker 1: just want to point out first date at the house
[36:51] Speaker 1: off of Hinge.
[36:53] Speaker 3: What what I wonder if I don't know, but I
[36:56] Speaker 3: wonder if it was a situation where he came to
[36:58] Speaker 3: pick her up.
[36:59] Speaker 2: Still, I think that the word at a point where
[37:01] Speaker 2: the world is just absolutely wild. Like if y'all meeting
[37:05] Speaker 2: people off the internet on Beyonce's Internet and you.
[37:09] Speaker 1: Don't know them from Adam, don't do that.
[37:11] Speaker 2: I feel like she was a sex worker and they
[37:13] Speaker 2: had an arrangement.
[37:14] Speaker 1: That's just so scary to me. Y'all need to.
[37:16] Speaker 3: Meet make her career pop off. Could be I don't know,
[37:21] Speaker 3: but not me.
[37:25] Speaker 1: But they also linked to have sex when they're doing it.
[37:27] Speaker 3: I have a friend away, but yeah, he's uh, he's
[37:34] Speaker 3: done some wild things that he shared and I'm like, well,
[37:36] Speaker 3: and then he just slips it into the conversation. She's like, oh,
[37:38] Speaker 3: I never told you that. I said, I will remember this.
[37:40] Speaker 3: I forget a lot, but this right here is weird.
[37:44] Speaker 1: Well I never knew.
[37:45] Speaker 2: And I learned this from an old friend and he's gay,
[37:48] Speaker 2: and he was like, and in Piedmont Park there is
[37:52] Speaker 2: a certain.
[37:52] Speaker 1: Hour of the night where the gay men go to
[37:56] Speaker 1: the park. Have you heard this? And you can get
[37:58] Speaker 1: your dick sacks.
[37:59] Speaker 3: A lot of places.
[38:00] Speaker 2: There's a people in the park and I was like
[38:03] Speaker 2: in the outside in the park and he told me
[38:05] Speaker 2: where the area was and I was like, we have
[38:07] Speaker 2: you gone? He was like yeah, he's like because sometimes
[38:09] Speaker 2: you just want you to dig sect And I was like,
[38:10] Speaker 2: is that nice?
[38:12] Speaker 1: Is everyone almost?
[38:13] Speaker 2: Now?
[38:13] Speaker 1: I want to go? It's at night and he was like,
[38:15] Speaker 1: and you got, I'm not going. I'll be terrified.
[38:17] Speaker 3: There's a website that you can go to. It's twenty
[38:20] Speaker 3: four hours, not the hour thing, but I know chuck
[38:23] Speaker 3: about and people will go what is it called. I
[38:24] Speaker 3: can't think of the word. One of y'all might know.
[38:26] Speaker 3: You might know there's a website and then go on
[38:30] Speaker 3: there and it's like like, imagine find my friends, but
[38:33] Speaker 3: it's like find who I'm about to fuck or who's
[38:35] Speaker 3: dick come about to suck or whatever. And they will
[38:37] Speaker 3: be random places. You don't have to really communicate you
[38:40] Speaker 3: but you can see where people are. So then when
[38:42] Speaker 3: you run into the person, I guess you say password
[38:44] Speaker 3: code or whatever it is. You do something so that
[38:46] Speaker 3: they know, okay, we see each other, we were on
[38:48] Speaker 3: the app and they get to it right then they're strangers.
[38:52] Speaker 3: It's a snuff or something like that. Something anyway, they
[38:56] Speaker 3: and they'll be all over the place. And my friend
[38:58] Speaker 3: told me, and it's either a website or an app.
[39:00] Speaker 3: I wanted to download the app because I wanted to
[39:04] Speaker 3: see who around me was doing all that and make
[39:06] Speaker 3: sure nobody I was with, like on a date with,
[39:08] Speaker 3: or someone was sneaking off to the bathroom. Oh, you
[39:10] Speaker 3: want to go to the beltline so bad? Why and
[39:12] Speaker 3: way keep going to the bathroom. You're trying to go
[39:13] Speaker 3: get your dicksuck or something. I don't know. But then
[39:15] Speaker 3: I didn't want it to be following me and the
[39:18] Speaker 3: wrong person think is me, And then we got some confusion.
[39:21] Speaker 3: So I don't have it. I'm gonna look for that, look.
[39:23] Speaker 1: At what it is. I don't want to message my friend.
[39:26] Speaker 3: Right now that told me about it. We'll see if
[39:28] Speaker 3: he messages.
[39:29] Speaker 1: Met too many date lines. And I don't know if
[39:33] Speaker 1: you frequent Peedmont Park. I do, and I have a
[39:35] Speaker 1: bed line.
[39:35] Speaker 2: And there was one day I was at the at
[39:37] Speaker 2: Petermont Park and I was reading the book How My
[39:38] Speaker 2: Little Blanket Out, and there was this man. I don't
[39:41] Speaker 2: know if he was homes but he did look homeless.
[39:42] Speaker 2: And he looked kind of like a crackhead, and he
[39:44] Speaker 2: looked a little drunk. And he came stumbling up the hill.
[39:47] Speaker 2: I was minding my business, and I was I was
[39:49] Speaker 2: just sitting there.
[39:50] Speaker 1: Like, you know, you know, I love everybody, but I'm
[39:53] Speaker 1: also scared right now.
[39:54] Speaker 2: So I was sitting there on the blanket, like, I
[39:55] Speaker 2: hope this man don't come over here and ask me anything,
[39:58] Speaker 2: not one thing. He his whole butt was out, his
[40:01] Speaker 2: pants were falling down to the ground, his whole butt
[40:03] Speaker 2: was out. He was like, gibling, man, mind if I
[40:06] Speaker 2: can get a little beast of his shade real quick.
[40:09] Speaker 1: And he sat down right in butt out.
[40:11] Speaker 2: He's farting, And I was like, are these the people
[40:13] Speaker 2: that are in pe my parking their their dick sock?
[40:16] Speaker 1: How would you know? Wait, huh, you gotta get that.
[40:22] Speaker 1: I'm going to pass.
[40:23] Speaker 3: Okay, I just messaged him. I'll let y'all know if
[40:26] Speaker 3: he hits me back. But uh, that's where it secks.
[40:31] Speaker 3: Thank y'all for sending me stories. More people have been
[40:33] Speaker 3: sending me stories. Send me stories, Send me your confessions.
[40:35] Speaker 3: Tell me that thing that your friend did that you're
[40:37] Speaker 3: not supposed to tell nobody, But it just burning you up.
[40:39] Speaker 3: Send it to me. It will remain anonymous, and then
[40:41] Speaker 3: you can get it off your chest and you don't
[40:43] Speaker 3: have to tell your friend group and like be the
[40:45] Speaker 3: weird person where nobody wants to tell you anything anymore.
[40:47] Speaker 2: Yeah, thanks y'all, and I will dive into some of
[40:51] Speaker 2: our topics. Actually I wanted to ask you currently, what
[40:56] Speaker 2: are some of your personal pleasure practice is I've heard
[41:00] Speaker 2: a lot of us talk about how like black women
[41:03] Speaker 2: don't really learn about pleasure, and so now everybody's trying
[41:05] Speaker 2: to make sure that that we do. Like you just
[41:08] Speaker 2: kind of you want your girl says, are you being pleasured?
[41:11] Speaker 1: Like do you know I do it yourself?
[41:12] Speaker 3: Are you?
[41:12] Speaker 2: Are you opening up your mouth and letting your partner know?
[41:14] Speaker 2: What are some of your personal practices for pleasure? So
[41:17] Speaker 2: masturbation is one.
[41:20] Speaker 1: Two.
[41:20] Speaker 2: I'm very vocal on what I like, not like in
[41:23] Speaker 2: the mean way, but like we have conversations about like,
[41:25] Speaker 2: oh this is what I like. I like this like
[41:27] Speaker 2: nipple play, I like clatoral stimulation, I like whatever. But
[41:32] Speaker 2: the people seem to have a hard time having that conversation.
[41:34] Speaker 2: How do you have it? Is it just a normal
[41:37] Speaker 2: casual conversation with the person you like, very normal conversation
[41:40] Speaker 2: for me because most people who most men who talk
[41:43] Speaker 2: to me know what I do, so it's not weird.
[41:46] Speaker 2: So they're like, okay, so I just kind of bring
[41:48] Speaker 2: it up, like, oh, how was the weather? Same way
[41:50] Speaker 2: you know when we have because usually in some point
[41:54] Speaker 2: the conversations goes to six typically at some point, and
[41:58] Speaker 2: so we just kind of talk about, okay, so what
[42:00] Speaker 2: are you into? When it gets to that point, and
[42:02] Speaker 2: I let them lead, Okay, what are you into? And
[42:04] Speaker 2: they'll tell me, you know what, I'm like, Okay, well
[42:06] Speaker 2: I like that, I don't like that, or I'm into
[42:08] Speaker 2: blah blah blah, they don't asks. It kind of goes there.
[42:11] Speaker 2: So whenever we have like the typical sex conversation, out
[42:13] Speaker 2: of as and it kind of and men are very
[42:15] Speaker 2: forthcoming with things they like, and then you just kind
[42:19] Speaker 2: of be like, Okay, cool, good to know not these
[42:21] Speaker 2: the things that I like.
[42:22] Speaker 3: Do they ever share with you that they're not into
[42:25] Speaker 3: something that you're into?
[42:27] Speaker 1: Yes?
[42:27] Speaker 3: Or do they pretend so no?
[42:29] Speaker 2: So I also lead with I'm a ethical nom monogamous. Okay,
[42:34] Speaker 2: So prior to probably a year ago, I didn't really
[42:37] Speaker 2: say that on dates.
[42:38] Speaker 1: I was kind of I just didn't. I didn't lead
[42:40] Speaker 1: with it.
[42:40] Speaker 2: Well you explain what that means for someone who might
[42:42] Speaker 2: be listening, and they're like, what's that?
[42:44] Speaker 1: Okay?
[42:44] Speaker 2: So people who would ethical nominogamy who practice echal nominogamy
[42:49] Speaker 2: are people who date multiple people, and so there's different
[42:53] Speaker 2: So poly falls under that. I'm not Polly. I'm not Polly,
[42:57] Speaker 2: but I do date people who are. But like, like
[43:00] Speaker 2: I'm into like swinging, I'm into like open relationships and
[43:06] Speaker 2: I can explain what that means too. But so I
[43:09] Speaker 2: like to have six outside of my primary partner with
[43:12] Speaker 2: other people. That's vexable terms, and so like I tell
[43:15] Speaker 2: people that, So I'm now I'm very open.
[43:17] Speaker 1: I lead with oh, so this is what I do.
[43:20] Speaker 1: Are you go into it? Yes? Or no? You know,
[43:23] Speaker 1: sometimes men be like no or well maybe someone'm gonna
[43:27] Speaker 1: be like where's that? Where like what is that?
[43:29] Speaker 2: And so did I explain? Like I had a dude
[43:32] Speaker 2: from my past who recently and he doesn't live here,
[43:37] Speaker 2: he lived he plays basketball overseas and I was like, uh,
[43:41] Speaker 2: and he asked me, oh, could you be with me
[43:43] Speaker 2: in whatever.
[43:44] Speaker 1: Country he's in. I can't say because he might know
[43:45] Speaker 1: who he is. I mean the people who have known
[43:49] Speaker 1: me might know who is.
[43:51] Speaker 2: And so I was like, yes, but I'm in Atlanta,
[43:57] Speaker 2: Like I'm not leaving Atlanta to go to Spain, Like
[43:59] Speaker 2: I'm just not doing that.
[44:01] Speaker 1: So like, you know, I could be your Atlanta girl.
[44:04] Speaker 1: You know that's over here.
[44:07] Speaker 3: I'm not.
[44:09] Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean you know it's gonna be somebody here
[44:11] Speaker 2: in Atlanta. And he was like, I like my person
[44:12] Speaker 2: to be just my Like, okay, cool, best look. I
[44:15] Speaker 2: like if you if I'm not gonna need your thing,
[44:17] Speaker 2: that's great. It's just not my thing, even if it's
[44:20] Speaker 2: someone like even if you live here in Atlanta. Right,
[44:24] Speaker 2: my schedule is very busy. I'm not here a lot.
[44:26] Speaker 2: I'm busy doing work. And I also don't have seven
[44:31] Speaker 2: days a week pussy that you're gonna be fucking because not.
[44:34] Speaker 1: A pussy's head up. I just don't have it.
[44:37] Speaker 2: So if you're somebody who likes regular sex in terms
[44:39] Speaker 2: of like I want to, I won't stick there every day.
[44:41] Speaker 1: You're gonna have to get it for somebody else.
[44:43] Speaker 2: Like I have like a good probably two through day,
[44:46] Speaker 2: two to three day a week type of vagina right,
[44:49] Speaker 2: lean heavy on two right, So like I have no
[44:54] Speaker 2: issue with my guy, Like, if you need outside sex
[44:57] Speaker 2: for somebody, like, go do that, because I'm not I'm
[45:00] Speaker 2: not your girl, right, And so I know that about
[45:02] Speaker 2: myself and so I allow my person to also do
[45:07] Speaker 2: those things.
[45:08] Speaker 1: What was the question I got? What was the question
[45:11] Speaker 1: you asked?
[45:12] Speaker 3: What was it for her to explain it? And before
[45:15] Speaker 3: that you were asking where she was in her you.
[45:17] Speaker 1: Had asked them.
[45:18] Speaker 2: I don't know, but you made me think of something
[45:19] Speaker 2: else with the non ethical non monogamy ethical non ethical
[45:26] Speaker 2: because it is ethical ethical?
[45:30] Speaker 1: Does what where does it come from?
[45:33] Speaker 2: Like because people that I know that also identify with
[45:36] Speaker 2: that type of dating when you get down to the
[45:38] Speaker 2: root of it, it normally the people that I've talked to,
[45:40] Speaker 2: it's comes from trauma. And so I do you do
[45:44] Speaker 2: you not want to commit or be monogamous because there
[45:48] Speaker 2: is some sort of fear there or you This is
[45:51] Speaker 2: just really just a free and this is just what
[45:54] Speaker 2: I want to do my I honestly don't believe monogamy
[45:57] Speaker 2: humans is relatively new, right, I mean, we've been doing
[46:01] Speaker 2: it for probably the last hundred years, but like on
[46:04] Speaker 2: the scale of humanity is relatively new. Like if you
[46:08] Speaker 2: if you're someone who like you know, grew up Christian
[46:09] Speaker 2: like me, cool and the Bible men had wives, cockubines,
[46:15] Speaker 2: multiple people, right, so women did not, but men did
[46:20] Speaker 2: so like I, and I also believe that for six,
[46:23] Speaker 2: it's just six and six does not equate to love,
[46:27] Speaker 2: like it's two different things.
[46:29] Speaker 3: And that's why you would say you're ethically non monogamous
[46:31] Speaker 3: but not poly, Yeah, because we ain't doing all that.
[46:34] Speaker 2: Yeah, so you're poly is relational? Right, I personally don't
[46:38] Speaker 2: have don't have the capacity to have multiple ongoing relationships.
[46:42] Speaker 2: It's just I just don't have it. But I'm okay
[46:47] Speaker 2: with Daddy someone who's Polly as long as you understand
[46:49] Speaker 2: that these are probably is not about just six. It's
[46:53] Speaker 2: about relationships. So that made you have to give your
[46:55] Speaker 2: time and you don't want to do that. I have
[47:00] Speaker 2: one person that I have, one person that I have
[47:02] Speaker 2: a relationship with. I have sex with other people, but
[47:05] Speaker 2: it's just six. It's like, you know, it's just a
[47:07] Speaker 2: six thing. Like for example, I had this guy was
[47:09] Speaker 2: dating we were He was a cook, right, and so,
[47:13] Speaker 2: and what cooks are cooks are people who don't who
[47:17] Speaker 2: like watching their persons sex with other people. And so
[47:20] Speaker 2: I was dating him, but I was just we were
[47:22] Speaker 2: I was just having sex with other guys for him
[47:24] Speaker 2: to watch.
[47:24] Speaker 1: I had a good time doing it was great.
[47:26] Speaker 3: I was about to say, was it a good time?
[47:28] Speaker 1: It was great because he was involved in the process.
[47:32] Speaker 1: He liked it.
[47:32] Speaker 2: We will find a guy online together, I will find
[47:36] Speaker 2: a guid on profile, show him the person he had
[47:39] Speaker 2: he had.
[47:40] Speaker 1: Okay, it me and the guy.
[47:41] Speaker 2: Me and the guy would meet him, and the guy
[47:44] Speaker 2: and me would actually eventually meet my person at dinner.
[47:48] Speaker 1: Drink, yeah, I eat something. They all be cool. We'll
[47:52] Speaker 1: set it up. We will be there. That's kind of
[47:55] Speaker 1: how it was.
[47:56] Speaker 2: And so it was fun, but it is enjoy of
[48:00] Speaker 2: It's not you don't have this child a trauma, traumatic
[48:02] Speaker 2: story behind it.
[48:02] Speaker 1: I mean, we all got trauma, right, you know.
[48:04] Speaker 2: I have dad issues like the like the rest of us. So,
[48:09] Speaker 2: but I don't think for me, me wanting to have
[48:13] Speaker 2: other sex with other people, it's not from that. It's
[48:16] Speaker 2: just I like you though. I like steak, also like
[48:20] Speaker 2: chicken sometime. Yeah, It's just I don't mean, I can't
[48:24] Speaker 2: see me having one penis forever type of thing that
[48:28] Speaker 2: just seems like I don't want to feel you.
[48:32] Speaker 3: At what point in your life did you realize that's
[48:35] Speaker 3: what you wanted? Did you cheat a few times first?
[48:39] Speaker 3: And then it was like no, actually.
[48:42] Speaker 1: To do this.
[48:43] Speaker 2: So I'm writing a book, right, it's on next year,
[48:45] Speaker 2: and so in the book I talk about it's one
[48:48] Speaker 2: of the book is from please from a disease. Every
[48:52] Speaker 2: alphabet has a different title or subject and so an
[48:55] Speaker 2: end it's not traditional relationships.
[48:58] Speaker 1: And so the funny.
[48:58] Speaker 2: Thing was this was probably I don't know thirty two
[49:03] Speaker 2: one of my really got good guy friends who's married,
[49:06] Speaker 2: and he was like, you ain't one of those monogamies
[49:09] Speaker 2: type of girls.
[49:10] Speaker 1: Like what you mean?
[49:11] Speaker 2: Because I grew up in the church. My parents are married,
[49:13] Speaker 2: my mom, my parents met in high school. My mom's
[49:15] Speaker 2: only been one guy, my dad, my grandparents, my grandparents
[49:20] Speaker 2: got married, my grandma got my grandma went from her
[49:23] Speaker 2: parents' house to my granddad's house.
[49:25] Speaker 1: Like, so I'm in from very traditional, very traditional people.
[49:28] Speaker 2: We get married young, we stay with our husbands, right,
[49:31] Speaker 2: we have kids, and that's who and then there's me
[49:34] Speaker 2: the rebel. So so he was like, that's not who
[49:38] Speaker 2: you are. I was like, why do you say that?
[49:40] Speaker 2: And then he was like, you're just not you like
[49:43] Speaker 2: these things, and I was like, no, I'm not. I'm
[49:45] Speaker 2: a traditional person.
[49:46] Speaker 1: I was like, no, I'm not.
[49:47] Speaker 2: You're not talking about and so I fought it for
[49:49] Speaker 2: a very very long time. I was like, no, I
[49:52] Speaker 2: can be, and I think I can't. So I do
[49:54] Speaker 2: have I do have peers of monogamies. I can be monogaus.
[49:57] Speaker 2: I can be with one person for a long time,
[49:59] Speaker 2: but but in between that, we're gonna have to have
[50:01] Speaker 2: some type of something, like you know, maybe you our
[50:05] Speaker 2: anniversary or something. We're gonna have do something something. But yeah,
[50:10] Speaker 2: it's like we're gonna need to do something. So it
[50:13] Speaker 2: wasn't until probably three four years ago. I was like
[50:17] Speaker 2: I texted him. I was like, you know, you remember,
[50:19] Speaker 2: you know you told me years ago that I was
[50:21] Speaker 2: this person.
[50:22] Speaker 1: It was like you were right. He's like, yeah, I know.
[50:24] Speaker 3: I'm like I get it now.
[50:26] Speaker 2: I get what you were saying because like I've tried.
[50:29] Speaker 2: I've tried the I've tried it, and it's.
[50:32] Speaker 1: Like it didn't work for you.
[50:33] Speaker 2: No, It's like I like going to swimmer clubs, I
[50:37] Speaker 2: like participating in stuff, I like doing it. I don't
[50:42] Speaker 2: have to do it every day, but I like the
[50:44] Speaker 2: option of it being open and available.
[50:47] Speaker 1: So I get it. I get it.
[50:50] Speaker 3: I feel you on that. Have you ever really liked
[50:53] Speaker 3: somebody who tried to be okay with that? And then
[50:58] Speaker 3: he realized how did how did that conversation when he
[51:01] Speaker 3: realized I can't do this?
[51:02] Speaker 1: So I think we're me and Daddy. Most men. I
[51:07] Speaker 1: think most men like the idea of me, and they're like.
[51:10] Speaker 2: Oh, your name is sex with Ashley, right, yeah, so
[51:14] Speaker 2: they assumed I have like poorn star six and it's
[51:16] Speaker 2: really regular, and then they feel like, you know, they
[51:22] Speaker 2: liked the idea, but then they really realized that, oh,
[51:25] Speaker 2: she actually does the ship she talks about. Yes, right,
[51:30] Speaker 2: so yes, I'm a church girl, performed whatever. But like
[51:36] Speaker 2: the stuff I talk about, I really do, and so
[51:38] Speaker 2: like sometimes they kind of like be shocked by that.
[51:41] Speaker 1: And I remember one time I was going to go.
[51:43] Speaker 2: This is during COVID. I was supposed to go to
[51:45] Speaker 2: hto if I didn't go because it.
[51:46] Speaker 3: Was COVID and I was dangerous, right.
[51:55] Speaker 2: I was talking to this guy at the time and
[51:57] Speaker 2: I was and he didn't know what KETO was he
[51:59] Speaker 2: was new divorce, I think, and he was married for
[52:03] Speaker 2: like years, like a decade maybe, and I think before
[52:06] Speaker 2: his wife he had like maybe like one other relationships.
[52:08] Speaker 2: So he's been he's very vanilla, very traditional, and I date,
[52:12] Speaker 2: I date traditional men to traditional men seem.
[52:14] Speaker 1: To follow me. I guess it's the South. I don't
[52:16] Speaker 1: know what it is.
[52:17] Speaker 2: And so I explained to what he was and he
[52:20] Speaker 2: was like, sor, are you gonna go there and sex
[52:22] Speaker 2: with other people? I was like, I mean, I don't know.
[52:26] Speaker 2: I mean, but it's a place where people do, so
[52:29] Speaker 2: it's a possibility. Right, I'm not going there. Oh I'm
[52:31] Speaker 2: going to fuck five guys. No. If I happen to
[52:34] Speaker 2: go there and someone vibes with me, cool, like you know,
[52:38] Speaker 2: let me open. But he and I struggled because he
[52:42] Speaker 2: was very very traditional, and I found that a lot
[52:45] Speaker 2: of guys in the South for traditional, y'all don't find that.
[52:47] Speaker 2: I like a lot of guys everywhere are are very
[52:50] Speaker 2: traditional like that. When you when it comes down to it,
[52:53] Speaker 2: like okay, like you want to try something, and it's.
[52:55] Speaker 1: Like, ok, I'm very open. Let's together. I don't know
[52:58] Speaker 1: how this is gonna go, but let's try you want
[53:00] Speaker 1: sex club, Let's go to sex club?
[53:02] Speaker 2: When in Rome do is the Romans and a lot
[53:04] Speaker 2: of the men that I have met that aren't really
[53:06] Speaker 2: like they get in it and it's like they're kind
[53:09] Speaker 2: of like nervous and like don't really know how to
[53:11] Speaker 2: like move in it.
[53:12] Speaker 1: And now it's like now we're fighting in the club,
[53:14] Speaker 1: like you wanted to come.
[53:17] Speaker 2: I have popped a lot of niggas cherries at the
[53:19] Speaker 2: sex club. I think it's cool. Then we go and
[53:23] Speaker 2: some of them like it, some of them like, oh
[53:25] Speaker 2: this is different, and then like they don't go back.
[53:28] Speaker 2: I would I would like for it to go like
[53:30] Speaker 2: the men moving forward. I'm not dating right now or
[53:32] Speaker 2: having sex, but like I don't really like it. If
[53:35] Speaker 2: you don't, I want you to be comfortable. I don't
[53:38] Speaker 2: want to have to guide you and lead you. I
[53:39] Speaker 2: don't I don't want to do If you never go
[53:41] Speaker 2: to sex club, I'm done trying to I'm done trying
[53:43] Speaker 2: to pop the sex club cherry. If you don't really
[53:46] Speaker 2: want to go, please don't say you want to go.
[53:47] Speaker 2: But they be wanting to go though they'd want to go,
[53:49] Speaker 2: but then they be and they're mad, Like.
[53:52] Speaker 3: I haven't been to a sex club with somebody who
[53:54] Speaker 3: got mad, But I will say that a lot of times,
[53:57] Speaker 3: what I find is the guys will truly be traditional
[54:01] Speaker 3: and maybe they think they want to step out of
[54:03] Speaker 3: that box, so they think that they're not so stuck
[54:06] Speaker 3: on it, and it's like, it's cool when they do it,
[54:09] Speaker 3: it's a problem when.
[54:10] Speaker 1: I do it.
[54:10] Speaker 3: So you can fuck the other girls. We can have
[54:13] Speaker 3: threesomes together. But if I want to go fuck a
[54:15] Speaker 3: man and have a threesome without you, it's a problem.
[54:18] Speaker 3: If I want to go fuck another man or a
[54:20] Speaker 3: girl without you, it's a problem. You want to be
[54:25] Speaker 3: involved in everything, and you really don't want me fucking
[54:27] Speaker 3: nobody else.
[54:29] Speaker 2: I know people who are identify as Polly, but it's
[54:35] Speaker 2: it's one sided polly.
[54:36] Speaker 3: Mm hmmm.
[54:37] Speaker 2: So it's the guy can do whatever, but he expects
[54:40] Speaker 2: his person to only be with him. I mean, it's
[54:43] Speaker 2: kind of like I guess it's kind of like Nick
[54:44] Speaker 2: Cannon for what I heard and read the stories, like
[54:47] Speaker 2: he he expects his women to just be with him,
[54:49] Speaker 2: but he has bab mamas.
[54:51] Speaker 1: So but but if that works for that works for you, Yes,
[54:54] Speaker 1: that's what you like. Well, he's paying for our whole
[54:58] Speaker 1: life solves. Man, y'all could be quiet, we're gonna do this.
[55:01] Speaker 2: That I think I would try too, and I have
[55:05] Speaker 2: your baby for nick, I think I might, but but
[55:09] Speaker 2: also I also know how I am and I'm like, man,
[55:13] Speaker 2: but that brings me.
[55:14] Speaker 1: I put a question on here and it it's.
[55:17] Speaker 2: What has sex taught you about boundaries? Because a lot
[55:19] Speaker 2: of what we're talking about is like you put yourself
[55:21] Speaker 2: and you say you want to try something, and then
[55:22] Speaker 2: you're in the position to try it and you realize
[55:24] Speaker 2: it brings something out of either like it or you don't.
[55:26] Speaker 2: You're like, this is a hard no, Like don't do
[55:29] Speaker 2: this ever again? Like what has sex taught you about boundaries?
[55:32] Speaker 2: That it's okay to not be in certain things and
[55:35] Speaker 2: it's okay to say no. Like so I'm a big
[55:37] Speaker 2: anal sex fan, like me done it, had a good experience,
[55:41] Speaker 2: had a bad experience with it, but something I don't
[55:43] Speaker 2: ever have to do again, prefer not to actually to
[55:46] Speaker 2: be honest, So like so when people ask about anal sex,
[55:50] Speaker 2: I'd be like, it's it's not all my listle things
[55:52] Speaker 2: to do. And so I had this one guy I
[55:55] Speaker 2: was dating who he wanted to try anal and I
[55:59] Speaker 2: was like, I'm good on it, done it before, good?
[56:03] Speaker 2: Oh why can't you do it with me? Done it
[56:05] Speaker 2: with other people, Babe. There's a lot of things I've
[56:07] Speaker 2: known other people that I will.
[56:08] Speaker 1: Never ever do with you.
[56:08] Speaker 2: I'm about to run it back because like, I'm not,
[56:11] Speaker 2: I'm not going to try everything with you. I've been
[56:13] Speaker 2: having text as I was a teenager, Like, there's a
[56:16] Speaker 2: lot of things I've done like you won't be privy to,
[56:20] Speaker 2: so like it taught me that having sext taught me that,
[56:24] Speaker 2: you know, my heart knows you don't like it too bad,
[56:28] Speaker 2: you can find somebody else to do it, like some
[56:30] Speaker 2: all the time.
[56:30] Speaker 1: If you go find somebody else to do that, I
[56:33] Speaker 1: won't be mad.
[56:34] Speaker 3: Because there's lots of people in this and now they've
[56:36] Speaker 3: got all the apps for I don't don't want to
[56:38] Speaker 3: speaking of apps. That site or app whatever it is.
[56:41] Speaker 3: It's called Sniffy's. He texts me back, so y'all look
[56:43] Speaker 3: it up later, sniffing for dick. Have you ever found
[56:50] Speaker 3: that when people so they see you online you're sex
[56:53] Speaker 3: with Ashley and they have these assumptions about you. Do
[56:57] Speaker 3: you feel like sometimes people are too pushy with their assumptions,
[57:01] Speaker 3: and they are surprised when they're not, You're not whatever
[57:05] Speaker 3: idea they have created. And do they ever get disrespectful?
[57:09] Speaker 1: So no, people get direspectful.
[57:11] Speaker 2: But I think me and are like surprised that I'm
[57:13] Speaker 2: like not hanging off schadeliers like I do. They're like, oh,
[57:18] Speaker 2: you just have you just you have regular sex. Yeah,
[57:21] Speaker 2: I like it, missionary. That's my favorite position.
[57:23] Speaker 3: That's my favorite time.
[57:25] Speaker 1: Like, I like it most of the time.
[57:27] Speaker 2: It's regular, boring, vanilla six ninety percent of the time.
[57:33] Speaker 2: Like this is what I That's what I like. I'm
[57:34] Speaker 2: not like I have a whole a little shoot thing
[57:38] Speaker 2: of sex toys. I don't use it most of the time.
[57:43] Speaker 2: Like you know what I'm saying, I'm in a regular
[57:45] Speaker 2: sex I think sometimes when people get so hung and
[57:47] Speaker 2: we could probably all speak to this your sex with
[57:49] Speaker 2: Ashley where cocktails. I know that there. I have been
[57:52] Speaker 2: challenged with some things where it's like just because we
[57:54] Speaker 2: and we talk about sex, dating and relationships, I like,
[57:57] Speaker 2: I say, always add in it, but people only see
[57:59] Speaker 2: the sex, and it's like sometimes people can't look past
[58:02] Speaker 2: that and they there's like this I don't know if
[58:05] Speaker 2: I would want to call it a cloud, but there's
[58:07] Speaker 2: something where it's like you just see the sex, you
[58:08] Speaker 2: see girls talking about sex, and some people get really
[58:11] Speaker 2: offended by it, and some people will hold certain things
[58:13] Speaker 2: against you, some people will have certain judgments towards you,
[58:19] Speaker 2: and to me, it's just really interesting. It's like, because
[58:21] Speaker 2: you talk about sex, you shouldn't be at God forbid,
[58:24] Speaker 2: you're at church, and it's like, what does that have
[58:25] Speaker 2: to do You talk about can't enjoy sex? You can't
[58:28] Speaker 2: do any of that, or it makes you less of
[58:30] Speaker 2: a woman, or you talk about sex, it's like you
[58:33] Speaker 2: sure are you? I bet you're having sex with everybody.
[58:34] Speaker 2: It's like, where do we get this from? Where are
[58:36] Speaker 2: you talking about sex? Who don't know who your baby
[58:40] Speaker 2: daddy is? Like how are we living our lives? Like
[58:42] Speaker 2: I'm just like I don't understand that. Like there is
[58:44] Speaker 2: a part of me where it's like when people's lives
[58:47] Speaker 2: have been affected because of we talk about sex. We're
[58:51] Speaker 2: not poorn stars and again there's no judgment, but there
[58:53] Speaker 2: is a huge difference. And so has your dating life
[58:56] Speaker 2: ever been affected because you do decide to talk about sex?
[58:59] Speaker 2: Cause I know, yeah, So one of my good friends
[59:02] Speaker 2: as a guy, heterosexual guy here in Atlanta, and he
[59:06] Speaker 2: was like, because I complain him about day life all
[59:08] Speaker 2: the time, He's like, you do realize that guys think
[59:11] Speaker 2: they put you in and those porns are in the
[59:13] Speaker 2: same category.
[59:14] Speaker 1: I was like, like, no, it's not. He's like, yes,
[59:17] Speaker 1: it is. It's sex. We all put that in group.
[59:19] Speaker 1: It in one thing.
[59:20] Speaker 2: So people think you are like this prostitute porn star.
[59:23] Speaker 2: And I was like, oh, okay, that makes sense. I mean,
[59:26] Speaker 2: but I didn't get it first. I'm like, what is
[59:27] Speaker 2: the problem.
[59:29] Speaker 1: But yeah.
[59:29] Speaker 2: So I've had people who who not turned off, but
[59:35] Speaker 2: I think, well, what I did did not align.
[59:38] Speaker 1: With their careers.
[59:39] Speaker 2: Like, you know, I have people who are who work
[59:42] Speaker 2: in corporate America. Who are I have a friend who
[59:46] Speaker 2: I was dating who was the face of a big
[59:47] Speaker 2: organization here in Atlanta. Like, you know, you can't they
[59:51] Speaker 2: can't take me to their Christmas Christmas social because people
[59:54] Speaker 2: know me and I talk about sex on the internet
[59:56] Speaker 2: and it's like, now you gotta explain that to people.
[59:58] Speaker 1: No, you don't.
[59:59] Speaker 2: That's the hard that I'm like, who would actually sit
[1:00:02] Speaker 2: here and be like, hey, you need to explain yourself
[1:00:04] Speaker 2: and why are you talking about all it sex young
[1:00:06] Speaker 2: lady like.
[1:00:07] Speaker 3: But it's also weird to me that so many people
[1:00:10] Speaker 3: equate pleasure, well women's pleasure with promiscuity, and promiscuity with
[1:00:17] Speaker 3: being less of a person, as if that is the
[1:00:20] Speaker 3: only thing about you. And if you listen closely, niggas
[1:00:24] Speaker 3: half the time were talking about not even being pleased.
[1:00:27] Speaker 3: So I don't even know what's going on. It's frustrating.
[1:00:30] Speaker 3: But then it's also like, you know what, your mind
[1:00:33] Speaker 3: is too close for me. You don't align with me
[1:00:36] Speaker 3: right because I'm not trying to over explain myself all
[1:00:39] Speaker 3: the time or prove myself to me. That is exhausted.
[1:00:42] Speaker 3: Medina posted a real it's both of us. Somebody the
[1:00:45] Speaker 3: other day said something about these whoror something, and I'm like, now,
[1:00:48] Speaker 3: how did we get here? We were literally doing some
[1:00:51] Speaker 3: TikTok dance. I wouldn't even shake a pass in that one.
[1:00:54] Speaker 3: It's just like, God, damn, Jean's in a tank top.
[1:00:58] Speaker 2: I just think it's interesting that people will take something
[1:01:01] Speaker 2: like conversation and it's not hatred, and it's not you
[1:01:05] Speaker 2: know what I mean, It's not we're not hating anyone
[1:01:06] Speaker 2: it's like you don't but you don't look at how
[1:01:08] Speaker 2: everybody lives different lives, Like we don't sit here every
[1:01:12] Speaker 2: single day all day, just like sext XIXXI, Like what
[1:01:16] Speaker 2: I just really think that people think that I'm like
[1:01:18] Speaker 2: I volunteer at meals on Wheels for Atlanta, I go
[1:01:23] Speaker 2: to like a Bible study, like I've served with the
[1:01:26] Speaker 2: children and what exactly.
[1:01:29] Speaker 3: Like I really.
[1:01:29] Speaker 2: Sometimes like when people are like, oh, yeah, well you
[1:01:32] Speaker 2: the one of the people that you interviewed on your
[1:01:34] Speaker 2: show where he was like, you're the nasty girl, and
[1:01:35] Speaker 2: I was like, oh man.
[1:01:37] Speaker 3: The nasty girl. I'm just like, what what is it
[1:01:41] Speaker 3: that you saw? Because there are moments where we have
[1:01:44] Speaker 3: shared nasty stories, right, but what is it that you
[1:01:46] Speaker 3: saw that made you feel like this is it? Or
[1:01:50] Speaker 3: that it's so raunchy? Because also the way that you
[1:01:53] Speaker 3: cut up when your cameras are not on for your
[1:01:55] Speaker 3: show and when you're super Christian faith based following is
[1:01:59] Speaker 3: paying attention to you. It's two different people, you know.
[1:02:02] Speaker 3: So it's really interesting to me how much people put
[1:02:04] Speaker 3: on or it. Again, if a woman says anything about
[1:02:09] Speaker 3: having sex and God forbid, it's enjoying the sex that
[1:02:12] Speaker 3: they have. Then all of a sudden, you are just
[1:02:16] Speaker 3: fucking anything that you can.
[1:02:17] Speaker 1: And you think that walks Yeah, you have no morals,
[1:02:19] Speaker 1: and it's just really I had got tell me that once.
[1:02:21] Speaker 1: I had a guy tell me that.
[1:02:22] Speaker 5: You have no morals.
[1:02:24] Speaker 1: There are morals in the line, and which is fine.
[1:02:27] Speaker 1: Some people's morals don't aligne. But this is how it
[1:02:29] Speaker 1: got here. Right.
[1:02:29] Speaker 2: So we got here because he wanted to go to
[1:02:31] Speaker 2: a sets club and I was like, oh, okay, I've
[1:02:34] Speaker 2: been to a plenty of them. We can go, right,
[1:02:36] Speaker 2: And he was like, so the question was would I
[1:02:39] Speaker 2: let somebody if he went to a sess club with me?
[1:02:42] Speaker 2: Would I let him have success with somebody else? I
[1:02:44] Speaker 2: was like, yeah, I've gone to a sess club with
[1:02:46] Speaker 2: the guy I was with and they had sex with
[1:02:48] Speaker 2: someone else.
[1:02:48] Speaker 1: Because it's a sets club. It's like me going to.
[1:02:51] Speaker 2: A club and I'm getting mad because like, you know,
[1:02:54] Speaker 2: my dude's desk on somebody else.
[1:02:55] Speaker 1: You come home with me. I don't really cares as long.
[1:02:57] Speaker 2: It's like tastefully you're not like you know about But
[1:03:02] Speaker 2: and then so we had a conversation like several weeks
[1:03:04] Speaker 2: after that, he was like, yeah, are morals on the line.
[1:03:07] Speaker 2: But I didn't bring up the sixth club you did and.
[1:03:11] Speaker 3: The fucking sex club. So where is the line in
[1:03:13] Speaker 3: the sand with sex club behavior for him?
[1:03:16] Speaker 1: I don't I don't know.
[1:03:17] Speaker 2: I think it was just the fact that I actually
[1:03:19] Speaker 2: would go and then it would actually allow him to
[1:03:22] Speaker 2: like do that, and then he was on this thing
[1:03:24] Speaker 2: where he had a daughter and he wanted he didn't
[1:03:27] Speaker 2: feel like I was like a great role model for
[1:03:28] Speaker 2: a shower.
[1:03:29] Speaker 1: Okay, cool, I just people. I think the only the
[1:03:37] Speaker 1: only way you are safe there too, So why you
[1:03:41] Speaker 1: look at people's real lives?
[1:03:43] Speaker 2: This is conversation And when I look at some people
[1:03:45] Speaker 2: who have the audacity to have even family members have
[1:03:47] Speaker 2: the audacity to have any sort of judgment about just
[1:03:49] Speaker 2: this situation. You could judge me on other things that
[1:03:51] Speaker 2: I've done that have been absolutely wild, but like talking
[1:03:54] Speaker 2: about like sex and just being open and trying things
[1:03:56] Speaker 2: and doing things and just comfortable talking about it. How
[1:03:59] Speaker 2: dare you look me in my eyes when I know
[1:04:02] Speaker 2: some of the things that you've actually done in your
[1:04:03] Speaker 2: real life to hurt people, to lie to seek like
[1:04:07] Speaker 2: it's like one thing that I love with me as
[1:04:10] Speaker 2: a person is you.
[1:04:12] Speaker 1: What you see is what you get.
[1:04:13] Speaker 2: It ain't really know, you're not it's not gonna be
[1:04:14] Speaker 2: no surprise, free nasty sex.
[1:04:16] Speaker 1: It's not like you're either gonna get that, you're gonna know,
[1:04:18] Speaker 1: you're gonna know me.
[1:04:20] Speaker 2: And I don't like when people like you're walking around hiding.
[1:04:23] Speaker 2: You don't have to have a podcast about sex. I'm
[1:04:25] Speaker 2: not saying that you have to put all your business
[1:04:26] Speaker 2: out there, like we're comfortable any more sex podcasts. Actually
[1:04:29] Speaker 2: we don't need any We don't any more podcasts, No
[1:04:32] Speaker 2: more we got it. Yes, just coming if you be
[1:04:36] Speaker 2: a guest and don't just you know, just get a taste.
[1:04:37] Speaker 2: But it's like again it goes back to like you
[1:04:40] Speaker 2: so busy looking at what we're talking about.
[1:04:42] Speaker 1: Who are you as a person?
[1:04:44] Speaker 2: No? Are you yourself? Are you getting in relationships with people?
[1:04:49] Speaker 2: And then it's like surprise, bit, really I'm trying to
[1:04:51] Speaker 2: change you.
[1:04:51] Speaker 1: And it's like, oh no, what are we doing?
[1:04:55] Speaker 2: Like if somebody once told me I'm not gonna be
[1:04:57] Speaker 2: a good mom because we talk about sex, and I
[1:04:59] Speaker 2: was like.
[1:05:00] Speaker 3: Why a baby gonna get here when all.
[1:05:02] Speaker 1: Of are gonna be fine?
[1:05:04] Speaker 3: Like they're gonna and even that is crazy again. It's like,
[1:05:07] Speaker 3: why does having sex and enjoying it make you less
[1:05:11] Speaker 3: than anyone else?
[1:05:13] Speaker 2: And being honest about your experiences. You've got a lot
[1:05:15] Speaker 2: of people here lying true, you doing the same thing.
[1:05:17] Speaker 2: You just lying like it's interesting. The only profession I
[1:05:21] Speaker 2: feel like that is safe. As in, like the sexual
[1:05:24] Speaker 2: space is like, if you're a sex therapist, people assume
[1:05:26] Speaker 2: you having people, So you're cool, right, no one looks
[1:05:28] Speaker 2: down sex therapy.
[1:05:29] Speaker 1: Oh cool, your therapist.
[1:05:31] Speaker 2: If you are in like the academia, if you're like
[1:05:33] Speaker 2: a professor, also cool, Like that's acceptable. I can tell Oh,
[1:05:37] Speaker 2: she is a a professor at SO and Soul University.
[1:05:40] Speaker 1: She teaches team and sexuality. But like anything else, like
[1:05:44] Speaker 1: they like use a hoe, right, trashy hooker, crashy hooker.
[1:05:49] Speaker 2: You deserve to die burn head? Yes, And it's like,
[1:05:53] Speaker 2: oh my goodness, I just I.
[1:05:56] Speaker 3: Wish more people would get to a point in their
[1:05:59] Speaker 3: own lives where they felt more comfortable with who they are,
[1:06:02] Speaker 3: whoever those people may be. Hopefully it's not this person
[1:06:04] Speaker 3: that you're projecting. But I think when you get rid
[1:06:08] Speaker 3: of the hang ups that you have that you've been
[1:06:09] Speaker 3: taught or conditioned to believe and you really think about
[1:06:12] Speaker 3: what actually actually matters to you that wasn't taught to you,
[1:06:20] Speaker 3: you'll have a lot more of an open mind, and
[1:06:22] Speaker 3: you'll be a lot more accepting of people and understanding
[1:06:24] Speaker 3: of people. And until we get to a place where
[1:06:27] Speaker 3: more people are like that, there's going to be even
[1:06:29] Speaker 3: more people continuing to hide. I think that society has
[1:06:32] Speaker 3: gotten better in the grand scheme of things with allowing
[1:06:36] Speaker 3: people and accepting people for who they are, but we
[1:06:38] Speaker 3: still have a long way to go. But speaking of acceptance,
[1:06:42] Speaker 3: before we move on to indecisive Diiana, I did want
[1:06:44] Speaker 3: to go back to you said, you're in a cult.
[1:06:47] Speaker 3: What kind of cult was this?
[1:06:48] Speaker 1: So?
[1:06:49] Speaker 2: And were you an adult or you were a kid?
[1:06:51] Speaker 2: I was in my early twenties, so adult is I
[1:06:54] Speaker 2: grew up in the church. I grew up in a
[1:06:56] Speaker 2: very religious, very traditional religious family. And so twenty two one,
[1:07:03] Speaker 2: twenty two somewhere now, I was a part of this.
[1:07:07] Speaker 2: I was one of one of the group leaders of
[1:07:09] Speaker 2: this cult.
[1:07:11] Speaker 3: Uh huh.
[1:07:11] Speaker 1: It's called Pinky Promise. It's it's not anymore.
[1:07:14] Speaker 2: It's actually founded by someone who lived in Atlanta at
[1:07:18] Speaker 2: the time.
[1:07:19] Speaker 3: Is there a documentary about it?
[1:07:21] Speaker 1: Not yet give it time? Was it a lot of
[1:07:22] Speaker 1: people in it?
[1:07:23] Speaker 2: Uh? Huh because she has in different cities.
[1:07:27] Speaker 1: Okay, they're a bar.
[1:07:29] Speaker 3: So what's the pinky promise.
[1:07:30] Speaker 1: Yeah, pinky promise is you're not gonna have a second
[1:07:31] Speaker 1: till you married. Oh okay, yeah.
[1:07:33] Speaker 2: So so I was the leader, you know, So like
[1:07:42] Speaker 2: I was one of the leaders for the North Carolina
[1:07:44] Speaker 2: chapter and so we will like meet weekly and do
[1:07:48] Speaker 2: all these things. And also people are like, oh, save
[1:07:50] Speaker 2: yourself for your husband. And then somewhere around twenty six
[1:07:56] Speaker 2: twenty seven, I was like, yeah, were you a virgin? No,
[1:08:00] Speaker 2: so I had six I have. So I go to college.
[1:08:04] Speaker 2: So I was like eighteen nineteen freshman year whatever whatever
[1:08:07] Speaker 2: that was, first mean year, second semester, So I don't know,
[1:08:11] Speaker 2: eighteen nineteen and so no, but like I didn't really
[1:08:15] Speaker 2: have I didn't have a whole phase until like late
[1:08:18] Speaker 2: twenties thirty because in college it was really like only
[1:08:22] Speaker 2: like three people. But so because when I think of calts,
[1:08:26] Speaker 2: I immediately go to like nobody's geating food.
[1:08:29] Speaker 1: You gotta all stay in a room, and like they're
[1:08:31] Speaker 1: just rations well, no, no, no, very much.
[1:08:34] Speaker 2: It was very much group think, like this is this
[1:08:36] Speaker 2: is what, This is what I believe. This is what
[1:08:38] Speaker 2: y'all didn't think. This is how how I didn't live together.
[1:08:41] Speaker 2: No no, no, no, we didn't live together, but we
[1:08:43] Speaker 2: like met weekly. We get like these group text messages.
[1:08:46] Speaker 2: Oh are you I remember? Because I used to like Scandal.
[1:08:48] Speaker 2: I was a big Scandal person. I'm rewatching it now actually,
[1:08:53] Speaker 2: And so she the leader, the leader leader was she
[1:08:56] Speaker 2: didn't really like Scandal. She thought it was like you
[1:08:59] Speaker 2: had too much sexual thing.
[1:09:00] Speaker 1: Y'all can't watch Scandal? Right, y'all like Scandal?
[1:09:04] Speaker 2: Like me, watch Scale didn't make me want to have
[1:09:06] Speaker 2: six it was sixteen, but it was a good show.
[1:09:09] Speaker 2: And so that's when I remember I started thinking, like,
[1:09:11] Speaker 2: I don't know if this is for me, because like
[1:09:13] Speaker 2: I like Scandal, I'm not it's not causing me to
[1:09:15] Speaker 2: like want to go fuck a man? So why am
[1:09:18] Speaker 2: I not watching the Shoulder I love? So it was
[1:09:20] Speaker 2: like things like that over time that I realized, like,
[1:09:23] Speaker 2: I think this is very much a cult.
[1:09:25] Speaker 3: It's like nobody can be different.
[1:09:27] Speaker 1: Yeah, but I think.
[1:09:28] Speaker 2: Purity culture in general is like a scam and very coldish.
[1:09:32] Speaker 2: I think it only focuses on women and whatever yeah,
[1:09:37] Speaker 2: but so yes, I was a part of that to
[1:09:39] Speaker 2: about twenty six, twenty seven, and then I was like,
[1:09:42] Speaker 2: I'm horny.
[1:09:45] Speaker 3: Why is something really?
[1:09:47] Speaker 1: It was?
[1:09:48] Speaker 2: Because I time it was I think I had it
[1:09:49] Speaker 2: had six like three years, three four years, Like, so
[1:09:52] Speaker 2: why am I doing this again? And so I had
[1:09:55] Speaker 2: to relearn and read and re just relearn what I
[1:10:00] Speaker 2: leaves in terms of like who God was six and
[1:10:04] Speaker 2: just my relationship with God. And it wasn't based on
[1:10:07] Speaker 2: if I say my coochie or not, or my husband
[1:10:10] Speaker 2: because at that rate, because based on that baby, I'm
[1:10:12] Speaker 2: forty and I don't have no man, so you mean
[1:10:14] Speaker 2: something I'm supposed to not be fucking okay, I'm forty,
[1:10:19] Speaker 2: God Like that can't be right.
[1:10:22] Speaker 3: So sometimes it feels like another scheme that TODs set up,
[1:10:26] Speaker 3: Like is this for men? Is it really for men?
[1:10:29] Speaker 3: Because you're right, they be putting the pressure on us
[1:10:31] Speaker 3: but not on the man. And it's like, is it
[1:10:33] Speaker 3: so that we don't know any better? I do trying
[1:10:36] Speaker 3: to use ignorant because then if we don't know, and
[1:10:38] Speaker 3: it's just like, oh you think this is how it goes.
[1:10:41] Speaker 3: I just I get to get off and you're just
[1:10:43] Speaker 3: there I think a baby legacy.
[1:10:46] Speaker 2: I think prettic culture is is just that it's so
[1:10:49] Speaker 2: we were made ignorant because we don't know what good
[1:10:52] Speaker 2: sex is. Then we think this is just this is
[1:10:55] Speaker 2: just this was supposed to be. Like I remember, like
[1:10:58] Speaker 2: the very first guy had sex in college who was
[1:11:01] Speaker 2: older than me. He was like four or five years
[1:11:02] Speaker 2: older than me. With another story another time, I was
[1:11:07] Speaker 2: with him for like a year and a half. I mean,
[1:11:09] Speaker 2: it wasn't bad, but I'm like, this is not the
[1:11:11] Speaker 2: stuff I read about in zag books exactly, like this
[1:11:14] Speaker 2: is not it so but I really know not. I
[1:11:16] Speaker 2: thought maybe something I don't know, I know what I thought,
[1:11:18] Speaker 2: but it ain't.
[1:11:19] Speaker 1: This ain't it.
[1:11:20] Speaker 2: But it wasn't until like I started having sex with
[1:11:22] Speaker 2: other people and I started.
[1:11:24] Speaker 1: Like, oh, this is what the Jay's talking about.
[1:11:26] Speaker 2: But see if I had if I had just to
[1:11:28] Speaker 2: start with him, married him, like I would have been
[1:11:31] Speaker 2: with some subpar fix now at forty probably you know,
[1:11:35] Speaker 2: with two kids and you know, yeah, but you don't
[1:11:39] Speaker 2: know what you don't know. You don't know what you
[1:11:41] Speaker 2: don't know, And that's the whole point of period, be
[1:11:43] Speaker 2: cause they wanted to keep you in the unknown. Some
[1:11:45] Speaker 2: way men don't have to live up their sex game.
[1:11:47] Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's like I also want to say, it
[1:11:49] Speaker 3: doesn't mean that you necessarily have to have sex with
[1:11:52] Speaker 3: a bunch of people. But it is okay to have
[1:11:55] Speaker 3: some pleasure, I think, but all of it, all of it.
[1:11:59] Speaker 1: It doesn't have to be interesting one hundred, you know,
[1:12:01] Speaker 1: But does it have to be one either?
[1:12:03] Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah, you're not about to die because it was
[1:12:07] Speaker 3: three like relaxed and I did that and well, we
[1:12:09] Speaker 3: won't say how long it took. Wasn't long spoiler alert.
[1:12:14] Speaker 3: We do have to move on to uh not weird
[1:12:18] Speaker 3: sex and when we come back, you're gonna help us
[1:12:21] Speaker 3: answer some questions from our listeners and then we're gonna
[1:12:24] Speaker 3: hear your cocktail. Losing weight and improving your health does
[1:12:28] Speaker 3: not have to feel impossible. I feel like y'all can
[1:12:31] Speaker 3: trust that for me, because y'all know I will give
[1:12:33] Speaker 3: up at the drop of a dime. I don't know
[1:12:36] Speaker 3: what the medicine is called. It's touched the tea, but
[1:12:39] Speaker 3: it is great because what's happening is I'm not having
[1:12:43] Speaker 3: those sugar cravings like I used to. It only happens,
[1:12:47] Speaker 3: I'll be honest. There were days where I wasn't taking
[1:12:49] Speaker 3: my medicine like I was supposed to do. I'm supposed
[1:12:51] Speaker 3: to take it every day. That's user error. So if
[1:12:54] Speaker 3: you're not doing the instructions, that could happen. But when
[1:12:57] Speaker 3: you get back on it, it's just like, ah, I'm good.
[1:12:59] Speaker 3: Like I was turning down so I was in Houston.
[1:13:01] Speaker 2: My journey with lifear x empty is really it's interesting.
[1:13:06] Speaker 2: I at first was on the breakup diet, like I
[1:13:09] Speaker 2: just wasn't eating and I wasn't working out, and I
[1:13:12] Speaker 2: was just not being healthy by not eating.
[1:13:15] Speaker 1: And so it's.
[1:13:16] Speaker 2: Interesting, like the journey was, Okay, bitch, you gotta eat
[1:13:18] Speaker 2: some food and you need to start working out. One
[1:13:20] Speaker 2: of my friends made me start working out. So when
[1:13:22] Speaker 2: you implement working out, did that then I was like,
[1:13:26] Speaker 2: let me actually start eating right, eating right, and then
[1:13:30] Speaker 2: the lifear XM. You can remix it how you want
[1:13:32] Speaker 2: to remix it. If you are like, bitch, I'm not
[1:13:33] Speaker 2: about to be working out, cool, you can take the pill.
[1:13:35] Speaker 2: You're still going to be or whatever medicine they.
[1:13:37] Speaker 1: Give you, You're still going to lose weight.
[1:13:40] Speaker 2: In my journey, I was like, Okay, I want to
[1:13:42] Speaker 2: lose weight and build muscle, and I don't want to
[1:13:44] Speaker 2: lose too much weight, so they capped me at like
[1:13:47] Speaker 2: a number where it's like, this will help me just
[1:13:49] Speaker 2: maintain what I was building. And I absolutely love that
[1:13:52] Speaker 2: I have the power to do that because I was
[1:13:54] Speaker 2: losing weight, but there was like a little pudge that
[1:13:56] Speaker 2: I just couldn't get rid of. They go I took
[1:13:58] Speaker 2: a video in the gym the other I asked my
[1:14:00] Speaker 2: girl and I said, well, you take a video of
[1:14:01] Speaker 2: my back. The roles are gone, and I know that's
[1:14:03] Speaker 2: the life our XMD. Like, I'm just like, you just
[1:14:06] Speaker 2: need a little help. Sometimes you just need a little help.
[1:14:08] Speaker 2: So you might be listening and be like, I don't
[1:14:09] Speaker 2: want to be walking around look like a bibblehead.
[1:14:11] Speaker 1: You don't have to.
[1:14:12] Speaker 2: You might just want to lose like a few little
[1:14:14] Speaker 2: pounds and you can. You can do that, and that's
[1:14:16] Speaker 2: what I also love that there's no contracts if you
[1:14:18] Speaker 2: try it and you're like, I don't want to re up.
[1:14:20] Speaker 2: I don't want to, you don't have like it?
[1:14:22] Speaker 1: Yeah, whatever.
[1:14:24] Speaker 2: I can honestly say, I'm wholeheartedly excited about this brand
[1:14:30] Speaker 2: and I've been looking at before and after photos. I
[1:14:34] Speaker 2: just did this last night, and I cannot believe just
[1:14:37] Speaker 2: where I'm at right now.
[1:14:38] Speaker 3: I love it too. I have been very pleased. I
[1:14:42] Speaker 3: am so happy that we are working with them. I'm
[1:14:45] Speaker 3: happy with the overall experience, and I am going to
[1:14:48] Speaker 3: continue to use them. I have more goals. And then
[1:14:51] Speaker 3: I was like, you know what, I've scheduled another appointment
[1:14:53] Speaker 3: because I wanted to talk to them and just like
[1:14:56] Speaker 3: address some other little things going on and just see
[1:15:00] Speaker 3: if they maybe have something to help me, and so
[1:15:03] Speaker 3: I'll get I know that they do stuff for like
[1:15:07] Speaker 3: men's hair loss. Oh, they do stuff for a rectile dysfunction.
[1:15:11] Speaker 3: There is no reason to be walking around here with
[1:15:14] Speaker 3: the what's his name George Jefferson and a limp noodle
[1:15:22] Speaker 3: if you don't have to, if you want to live
[1:15:24] Speaker 3: your life like that, dude, you baby, that ain't got
[1:15:26] Speaker 3: nothing to do with me. But if you don't want to,
[1:15:28] Speaker 3: there's no reason and there's no shame we all do it.
[1:15:31] Speaker 1: It makes me even wonder, like I don't know how
[1:15:33] Speaker 1: to put ribs down.
[1:15:34] Speaker 2: You know how we always talk about the men with
[1:15:36] Speaker 2: the big hips and how it's really hard because you
[1:15:37] Speaker 2: were just born like that.
[1:15:39] Speaker 1: But if it's fat.
[1:15:40] Speaker 3: And not just a wide set perfect bone, because your bones,
[1:15:43] Speaker 3: if you really are big bone down there, I mean,
[1:15:46] Speaker 3: they can't do nothing about that. But if it's a
[1:15:47] Speaker 3: little stubborn.
[1:15:48] Speaker 1: Fast, just try it and tell us how you like it.
[1:15:51] Speaker 3: And it's for everybody. It's not just a women women.
[1:15:54] Speaker 3: Y'all gotta check it out. Just visit life our x
[1:15:56] Speaker 3: dot m D and use our code cocktails. See us
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[1:16:03] Speaker 3: S at check out and get fifty dollars off your
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[1:16:08] Speaker 3: a little book you know that's l I F E
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[1:16:16] Speaker 3: start your journey to a healthier U with support that
[1:16:20] Speaker 3: actually works. The link is in the description box below.
[1:16:23] Speaker 5: And now we'll get back to the show.
[1:16:52] Speaker 3: Hey you guys, we are back and it is time
[1:16:55] Speaker 3: for advice. If you have a question that you want
[1:16:58] Speaker 3: us to attempt to for you, help you out with
[1:17:01] Speaker 3: email us advice at cocktailspot dot com and put advice
[1:17:05] Speaker 3: in the subject line before I.
[1:17:06] Speaker 1: Read that device.
[1:17:07] Speaker 2: Since we talking about all the sex and all the
[1:17:09] Speaker 2: sex with all the people, I do just want to
[1:17:10] Speaker 2: remind everybody make sure you getting tested. I do think
[1:17:12] Speaker 2: it is our responsibility to let y'all know also get tested.
[1:17:16] Speaker 2: When we went to that risky dinner, I put the
[1:17:18] Speaker 2: HIV test kit link in my bio and I'm now
[1:17:22] Speaker 2: constantly really telling people get tested, y'all.
[1:17:25] Speaker 3: You can get it on door dish, She'll deliver it
[1:17:27] Speaker 3: to your door. You can get condoms and let the
[1:17:30] Speaker 3: drug store. Now, yeah, lots of things if you're.
[1:17:32] Speaker 2: Going to whole hole responsibly, whole responsibly and yeah, so
[1:17:36] Speaker 2: let's just be smart. Okay, so this one is wwy D.
[1:17:39] Speaker 2: What would you do? Hi, ladies, Thank y'all in advance
[1:17:43] Speaker 2: for helping me. I love the show and I love y'all.
[1:17:46] Speaker 2: I look at y'all and I see pieces of who
[1:17:47] Speaker 2: I want to be one day from each of you.
[1:17:51] Speaker 1: It's an amazing compliment.
[1:17:52] Speaker 2: I'm just about to say, Okay, I'll get to the
[1:17:57] Speaker 2: point now. So I started dating this guy when I
[1:18:00] Speaker 2: was eighteen. I'm twenty eight now.
[1:18:02] Speaker 3: Whoop.
[1:18:04] Speaker 2: I thought, based on his actions and conversations we have
[1:18:08] Speaker 2: we've had over the years, that we were moving towards marriage.
[1:18:11] Speaker 2: Me too, girl, I mean, I won't waiting that long,
[1:18:14] Speaker 2: but I too thought that I recently caught this man
[1:18:17] Speaker 2: secretly communicating with another woman.
[1:18:20] Speaker 1: This isn't the first.
[1:18:21] Speaker 3: Time, damn double homo saude.
[1:18:24] Speaker 2: I have forgiven him in the past because his reasoning
[1:18:27] Speaker 2: made sense.
[1:18:28] Speaker 1: I wonder what the reasoning was.
[1:18:31] Speaker 2: Each time I catch him doing this, he says something like,
[1:18:34] Speaker 2: we haven't been having enough sex. He doesn't feel close
[1:18:37] Speaker 2: to me. He seeks the closeness with others, but he
[1:18:41] Speaker 2: only messages them, never anything physical. I know that we
[1:18:44] Speaker 2: could be having more sex, and that sometimes when life
[1:18:47] Speaker 2: gets hard, I can be not emotionally sexually present for him.
[1:18:51] Speaker 2: He is saying he is so sorry and he wants
[1:18:54] Speaker 2: to work this out and he doesn't want to lose me.
[1:18:56] Speaker 2: There's a voice in my head that's like, if I
[1:18:58] Speaker 2: forgive him, how do I know we won't.
[1:19:01] Speaker 1: Be here again? You will.
[1:19:03] Speaker 2: But there's another part of me that's like, yeah, he
[1:19:05] Speaker 2: handles it wrong, but maybe I handled it wrong first
[1:19:08] Speaker 2: and that caused all of this. What would you do
[1:19:10] Speaker 2: thanks again? He's causing confusion in your mind and he
[1:19:13] Speaker 2: knows it.
[1:19:13] Speaker 3: I wouldn't be blaming my damn self, that's forgot.
[1:19:16] Speaker 1: You're blaming yourself because he's cheating.
[1:19:18] Speaker 3: Yeah, sounds like somebody really doesn't want to be monogamous,
[1:19:22] Speaker 3: And I'm being honest, girl, I mean, how do you
[1:19:25] Speaker 3: actually feel about this? Does it upset you because he's lying?
[1:19:29] Speaker 3: Or is it upsetting you because he's messaging the girls
[1:19:32] Speaker 3: he's claiming it's nothing physical. Do you believe that in
[1:19:35] Speaker 3: your heart? And these are questions that you're gonna have
[1:19:38] Speaker 3: to answer for yourself. But I would say, think about
[1:19:43] Speaker 3: what the root of all of this is that is
[1:19:46] Speaker 3: making you upset. And then you said something about you
[1:19:48] Speaker 3: thought you were moving towards marriage in the beginning, but
[1:19:51] Speaker 3: he hasn't proposed, So I'm wondering why you were thinking
[1:19:54] Speaker 3: that in a long time, maybe he will, maybe he won't.
[1:19:57] Speaker 3: You guys also got together really young, actually talked about marriage.
[1:20:01] Speaker 2: Or are you basically just off of the time that
[1:20:02] Speaker 2: you've been together, because we all know men will drag
[1:20:06] Speaker 2: you along for a longer than that.
[1:20:08] Speaker 1: Ma'am.
[1:20:08] Speaker 2: I know I've got family members that still calling uncle
[1:20:11] Speaker 2: Larry they boyfriend.
[1:20:13] Speaker 3: And see that would be me and I would be
[1:20:15] Speaker 3: the one dragon because you know I'm comfortable. But I
[1:20:19] Speaker 3: think you need to ask yourself how you actually feel
[1:20:21] Speaker 3: it is upsetting for somebody to be dishonest with you, right,
[1:20:24] Speaker 3: I'm sure that that is part of it, But ask
[1:20:26] Speaker 3: yourself which part of the cheap? Because you also keep
[1:20:30] Speaker 3: accepting him and it don't sound like you're fucking him more.
[1:20:32] Speaker 3: Are you actually okay with him fucking other people? And
[1:20:35] Speaker 3: you don't want him to lie to you about it anymore,
[1:20:37] Speaker 3: and you want it to be something that y'all can
[1:20:38] Speaker 3: talk about and communicate. Are you afraid of starting over?
[1:20:42] Speaker 3: I'll never forget that girl who's like, I don't want
[1:20:44] Speaker 3: to I'm about to be thirty. I don't want to
[1:20:46] Speaker 3: enter my thirty single, no shade, And it's like, damn bitch,
[1:20:49] Speaker 3: all right, like what is it? Is it your age?
[1:20:52] Speaker 3: Ask yourself that because you keep taking him back, that's
[1:20:55] Speaker 3: what's throwing me off.
[1:20:57] Speaker 2: And if you don't have the answers, because you maybe don't,
[1:20:59] Speaker 2: if you're praying and you just like, dang God, like
[1:21:01] Speaker 2: I don't hear you, get on tagipt When I tell
[1:21:04] Speaker 2: you tagybt will tell you about yourself. Put the situation
[1:21:07] Speaker 2: in tagy bt, and tagipt will read you like you've
[1:21:10] Speaker 2: never been read before. And I'm only saying that because
[1:21:13] Speaker 2: like as someone who is a lover girl and I
[1:21:15] Speaker 2: will be. I am one of those women where it's
[1:21:17] Speaker 2: like you really listen to your man and you start
[1:21:19] Speaker 2: to feel crazy because you're like, he loves me, Like
[1:21:21] Speaker 2: he wouldn't tell me anything to steer me the wrong way.
[1:21:23] Speaker 1: Yes he would.
[1:21:24] Speaker 2: When you don't want to have sex because something's going
[1:21:27] Speaker 2: on in your life emotionally, physically, or you're just a
[1:21:30] Speaker 2: little bit stressed, and the person that you're with who
[1:21:32] Speaker 2: loves you won't have a conversation about it and they
[1:21:36] Speaker 2: just need to have sex with something.
[1:21:38] Speaker 1: That's a problem, Like that is a problem.
[1:21:41] Speaker 2: I don't think you want to marry somebody that wouldn't
[1:21:43] Speaker 2: be able to talk through that, Like you want somebody
[1:21:47] Speaker 2: that's gonna be curious and be like, well, baby, what's
[1:21:49] Speaker 2: going on? Like that shows that he cares about you.
[1:21:52] Speaker 2: He cares about your emotional state, He cares about your
[1:21:55] Speaker 2: mental state. When a woman doesn't want to have sex,
[1:21:58] Speaker 2: and especially if the sex is good, you would wonder
[1:22:01] Speaker 2: are you okay? You're not just worried about your own
[1:22:04] Speaker 2: and you and you said you're not okay. And I'm
[1:22:07] Speaker 2: only telling you this because I went through this in
[1:22:09] Speaker 2: my last relationship. I didn't want to have sex and
[1:22:11] Speaker 2: I like sex.
[1:22:12] Speaker 1: I love it.
[1:22:13] Speaker 2: And my person got he didn't get curious, he got
[1:22:16] Speaker 2: mad and and was like, you're trying to.
[1:22:20] Speaker 1: Uh, what do you manipulate me to marry you?
[1:22:24] Speaker 3: Huh? And I was like, because you're not having sex.
[1:22:28] Speaker 1: It was I was like, I thought that's where we
[1:22:32] Speaker 1: were going.
[1:22:33] Speaker 2: And we did talk about it, and we did talk
[1:22:34] Speaker 2: about marriage, and we looked at the rings we didn't
[1:22:36] Speaker 2: and it was just very selfish and it makes you
[1:22:38] Speaker 2: you have what Kiki said, write the things down and
[1:22:40] Speaker 2: really look at who you with sis, cause it's not
[1:22:42] Speaker 2: gonna be fun if you get trapped in this another
[1:22:44] Speaker 2: ten years and you got babies, Like it's that's not fun.
[1:22:47] Speaker 2: Like he has a set, he might be a sex addict,
[1:22:50] Speaker 2: and he is cheating on you.
[1:22:51] Speaker 1: He's been physical. Stop letting him lie.
[1:22:53] Speaker 3: Helying smell that dick. I think there's a song out
[1:22:57] Speaker 3: there called Ashley. What would you say?
[1:23:00] Speaker 1: I don't give dating advice because I've gone back to
[1:23:02] Speaker 1: this thing to go on a hundred times.
[1:23:03] Speaker 3: Oh well, we'll don't be doing the right thing. This
[1:23:07] Speaker 3: is this is a safe space.
[1:23:08] Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I'm not gonna go I never went
[1:23:10] Speaker 2: back to somebody, but I will say like this, ain't
[1:23:13] Speaker 2: it like you?
[1:23:15] Speaker 3: And sometimes it's not because we haven't we would never
[1:23:19] Speaker 3: do something that you've done, but we see some bit
[1:23:21] Speaker 3: of ourselves in you, and we just trying to save you.
[1:23:24] Speaker 1: Yeah, actually said, I don't round them for you. I
[1:23:28] Speaker 1: got it dating. I don't know.
[1:23:29] Speaker 3: All right, well, girl, next best thing is you need
[1:23:33] Speaker 3: to seek professional help and talk to a therapist because
[1:23:35] Speaker 3: you are. I don't want to forget about the part
[1:23:37] Speaker 3: where you say that you're not okay, don't know what
[1:23:39] Speaker 3: that is, not sure if you know, but hopefully that
[1:23:43] Speaker 3: you work through that because with or without him, if
[1:23:46] Speaker 3: you're not okay, you want to get to an.
[1:23:49] Speaker 2: Okay place and see happiness at the end of the day.
[1:23:52] Speaker 2: I think sometimes if you are a girl like me
[1:23:54] Speaker 2: and you really do be loving.
[1:23:55] Speaker 1: Your man, you're not married.
[1:23:58] Speaker 2: I mean, you don't owe him all this loyalty, walk out,
[1:24:01] Speaker 2: walk away, and he don't you taking all the pain
[1:24:03] Speaker 2: and trying to act like it's a marriage.
[1:24:05] Speaker 1: It's not, you know what I mean, Like, it's just not.
[1:24:07] Speaker 1: So let it go.
[1:24:09] Speaker 3: Let that nigga go. Sixteen cabbages, that's what you need
[1:24:15] Speaker 3: to play right now, and just let the cry out. Okay,
[1:24:18] Speaker 3: irreplaceable resentment, but don't follow the rest of Beyonce's playbook
[1:24:24] Speaker 3: and go back. But we're gonna move on. Well, I
[1:24:30] Speaker 3: mean that does change things. I don't think that's what's
[1:24:32] Speaker 3: going on here, because she wouldn't have been writing us.
[1:24:35] Speaker 3: There would be no question.
[1:24:36] Speaker 1: She would just be sitting in it, sad and dealing
[1:24:38] Speaker 1: with it.
[1:24:40] Speaker 3: Might just go fly off and find her somebody too,
[1:24:42] Speaker 3: and we can all be happy. Okay, I'm not gonna
[1:24:46] Speaker 3: read this second one. We'll save that. We are going
[1:24:49] Speaker 3: to move on to the cocktails. The drink was trying
[1:24:53] Speaker 3: to come out for a party. We're gonna move on
[1:24:56] Speaker 3: to the cocktails. If you guys have a cocktail that
[1:24:58] Speaker 3: you would like to share on the show, please email
[1:25:00] Speaker 3: us cocktails c O. C K T A L E.
[1:25:03] Speaker 3: S at cocktails pod dot com and maybe we'll read
[1:25:06] Speaker 3: it on the show.
[1:25:07] Speaker 1: Uh huh uh.
[1:25:15] Speaker 4: But it ain't got wont come? How did on mean you?
[1:25:21] Speaker 4: Is it some catch in the place that it is
[1:25:26] Speaker 4: once upon a time not long ago I was.
[1:25:31] Speaker 3: I'm not gonna read one, though, we're gonna let actually
[1:25:34] Speaker 3: share hers. I know it's gonna be good because you
[1:25:37] Speaker 3: done tried some few things. Do you remember what a
[1:25:39] Speaker 3: cocktail is?
[1:25:41] Speaker 1: One story?
[1:25:43] Speaker 3: The story we call it a cocktail?
[1:25:45] Speaker 1: Yeah, who said that?
[1:25:52] Speaker 3: What did I say? Dating experience that was really memorable?
[1:25:57] Speaker 3: Whether it was really good, embarrassing?
[1:26:00] Speaker 2: I know when I started to say it could be old,
[1:26:02] Speaker 2: it could be current, It could be luxury, It could
[1:26:03] Speaker 2: be weird, it could be odd, it could be embarrassing.
[1:26:06] Speaker 1: And I had one You did? I did?
[1:26:09] Speaker 2: M Was it from the colt? Was it when you
[1:26:12] Speaker 2: was fresh out the colt? It was recent? It was
[1:26:14] Speaker 2: about something well not recent.
[1:26:17] Speaker 1: We talked. I had the story and I left. I
[1:26:20] Speaker 1: might talk about keep talking.
[1:26:22] Speaker 2: It'll come to me. Well, I don't have no cocktail
[1:26:25] Speaker 2: for but one day I will.
[1:26:28] Speaker 3: You know what I'll tell y'all this really short snippe.
[1:26:31] Speaker 3: I had the last bit of Sir Davis left from
[1:26:34] Speaker 3: my concert weekend, and I don't know what came over me.
[1:26:38] Speaker 3: After I deep conditioned this week again and I was
[1:26:41] Speaker 3: blowing it out, my arms got tired, but then I
[1:26:43] Speaker 3: just had a rush of sexual energy come over me.
[1:26:48] Speaker 3: So I put on my robe and my slippers and
[1:26:50] Speaker 3: a march downstairs, and next thing I know, I was
[1:26:52] Speaker 3: creeping in there like a sex demon. And I just
[1:26:55] Speaker 3: hopped on this man and I just I was ready
[1:26:58] Speaker 3: to have sex. I had even brought my little vibe
[1:27:00] Speaker 3: in my pocket, and I was like, I hope this
[1:27:01] Speaker 3: don't fall, because you imagine if you're walking down the hall.
[1:27:04] Speaker 3: I live in an apartment building. There are other people there.
[1:27:07] Speaker 3: The other guy, he lives in the building too, we
[1:27:09] Speaker 3: don't live together. I'm going downstairs, going down the hall,
[1:27:14] Speaker 3: down the stairs to his apartment. All I have on
[1:27:16] Speaker 3: is a rope, a slipper, some slippers, a vibrator hanging
[1:27:20] Speaker 3: out of my pocket, the one from the celebrator. Mm hmm.
[1:27:23] Speaker 3: That one is pretty efficious.
[1:27:25] Speaker 2: It's very efficient. I have been using it very often
[1:27:27] Speaker 2: and I'm not gonna lie. I left it in my
[1:27:29] Speaker 2: bed and my nephew was at the house of the
[1:27:30] Speaker 2: day and I totally forgot that it was in the bed.
[1:27:32] Speaker 2: It's called a celebrator vibrator, and it looks like a
[1:27:36] Speaker 2: a toothbrush, like it's.
[1:27:37] Speaker 1: The same shape.
[1:27:38] Speaker 2: It has a standing as a motor toothbrush, electric toothbrush.
[1:27:42] Speaker 2: I hear zaying, say, Dan, Dan, what is this? And
[1:27:45] Speaker 2: I immediately was like he could only be talking about
[1:27:47] Speaker 2: one thing. That's After that he don't know. I went
[1:27:50] Speaker 2: running up the stairs and so quickly I said, that
[1:27:53] Speaker 2: is my toothbrush, and he was like, my nephew's very intelligent.
[1:27:56] Speaker 2: He was like, no, this isn't and I was like,
[1:27:58] Speaker 2: give me the thing. I was like, that's for my
[1:28:00] Speaker 2: is to Well, how does it workn't? Why did you
[1:28:03] Speaker 2: touch this, Like say, if it's first drop.
[1:28:06] Speaker 1: It just stop touching.
[1:28:08] Speaker 3: Shit. Mine didn't fall out of my pocket, but I
[1:28:11] Speaker 3: was nervous because I also had my dog. I forgot
[1:28:13] Speaker 3: I have my dog with me. So we're just mosing
[1:28:15] Speaker 3: on down the hallway, quick steps, quick steps, and I
[1:28:17] Speaker 3: get there and he was like, what's going on?
[1:28:20] Speaker 1: What are you doing.
[1:28:20] Speaker 3: I was just like, be quiet, take them pants off.
[1:28:23] Speaker 3: And he's with that man, so he's very excited. I
[1:28:25] Speaker 3: did wake him up out of his sleep, but I
[1:28:26] Speaker 3: think it was well worth it. And I haven't been
[1:28:28] Speaker 3: feeling like that a lot lately. Every now and again,
[1:28:32] Speaker 3: I've been having these rushes because like the previous what
[1:28:35] Speaker 3: was that year twenty twenty four? Last year, I wasn't
[1:28:38] Speaker 3: really having a lot of sex. I was depressed. I
[1:28:41] Speaker 3: just I wasn't feeling And it's really weird because I
[1:28:43] Speaker 3: like having sex with different people. Anyways, I went down
[1:28:47] Speaker 3: there and I just it felt really nice to just
[1:28:51] Speaker 3: have wild sex and then even do a little dick sucking.
[1:28:55] Speaker 3: And I don't like that anymore because my job is tired.
[1:28:58] Speaker 1: It's a real job.
[1:29:00] Speaker 2: Do you know.
[1:29:00] Speaker 3: He gave me some lot of game mm hmm.
[1:29:03] Speaker 1: Did it work?
[1:29:03] Speaker 3: I didn't use it. I don't want to do it.
[1:29:06] Speaker 3: And what the hell lot of games? He was like, oh,
[1:29:10] Speaker 3: it's for your foot and I was like, but this
[1:29:12] Speaker 3: is one. He said, yeah, that one's for your mouth.
[1:29:14] Speaker 3: It was like a gail for my foot because it's
[1:29:15] Speaker 3: been hurting. And then he gave me some and I
[1:29:17] Speaker 3: was like, you're trying to be funny. I'm not using
[1:29:20] Speaker 3: it not anyway. Okay, good, you got it.
[1:29:24] Speaker 1: So this was last year.
[1:29:27] Speaker 2: Last year, so I'm at at a a AAU basketball game,
[1:29:34] Speaker 2: so sad and you was like, basketball tournaments and it's
[1:29:41] Speaker 2: expensive for these kids, but they're doing it to get scouted.
[1:29:43] Speaker 1: They were in the airport. Okay.
[1:29:45] Speaker 3: I think my sister was on the plane with some
[1:29:48] Speaker 3: of them. She was like, it's basketball boys on here
[1:29:50] Speaker 3: and they look good, but they look young.
[1:29:54] Speaker 1: This was high school, uh, middle school, high school.
[1:29:57] Speaker 2: I'm in an AU tournament. So I am at the
[1:29:59] Speaker 2: tournament working in the tournament with one of my friends.
[1:30:02] Speaker 2: She does the event stuff, and so one of the
[1:30:06] Speaker 2: fathers was there.
[1:30:10] Speaker 3: First.
[1:30:10] Speaker 2: So if you're if you are someone looking for niggas,
[1:30:14] Speaker 2: hight AAU games is nigga fest.
[1:30:17] Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie. I've had a a I got him.
[1:30:24] Speaker 2: Short niggas, why niggas, Slim niggas like light skin niggas, variety,
[1:30:28] Speaker 2: nigga shor niggas, tall niggas, right, So it's niggas everywhere,
[1:30:32] Speaker 2: right from the sea of niggas like the Millionaire March.
[1:30:34] Speaker 1: It's a it really is.
[1:30:36] Speaker 2: Now some of them most of them are married or well,
[1:30:39] Speaker 2: I won't say most, some of them married or they
[1:30:41] Speaker 2: have kids because that's why they're there, right, it would
[1:30:43] Speaker 2: be weird.
[1:30:43] Speaker 1: So they have their dads, but it's a nigga fest, right.
[1:30:46] Speaker 2: So I was there working my little ticket booth and
[1:30:49] Speaker 2: his dad came up and we had been flirting, you know,
[1:30:52] Speaker 2: off and on all day, and so I gave my
[1:30:54] Speaker 2: number and then he was like, oh, come meet me
[1:30:58] Speaker 2: where we were at where he was. So we walked around,
[1:31:02] Speaker 2: you know, found the stairwell, you know, found the stairwell,
[1:31:07] Speaker 2: and and for and and then.
[1:31:09] Speaker 1: And somehow we ended up sucking in the stairwell. Oh no,
[1:31:13] Speaker 1: at the where y'all met.
[1:31:15] Speaker 3: Yeah, it was it was.
[1:31:16] Speaker 1: It was Oh I thought they had left, No, no,
[1:31:21] Speaker 1: it was.
[1:31:22] Speaker 2: It was.
[1:31:22] Speaker 1: It was at the gym with with the kids.
[1:31:26] Speaker 2: You know.
[1:31:27] Speaker 1: We didn't get caught, you know, because I probably have
[1:31:29] Speaker 1: a charge. Yeah, but we had. It was it was
[1:31:34] Speaker 1: for me, It was very It was really good. Five minutes,
[1:31:39] Speaker 1: not five minutes, let's say two.
[1:31:40] Speaker 2: Could we say, well, so you really can't do a
[1:31:41] Speaker 2: whole lot, you know, pump pump pumpers move, But it
[1:31:45] Speaker 2: was really maybe because it's the spontaneity of it all,
[1:31:48] Speaker 2: like the rush of it all. It was very it
[1:31:50] Speaker 2: was a very good two minutes. Wow, very good two minutes.
[1:31:53] Speaker 2: You know, he wanted to come to This was in
[1:31:55] Speaker 2: d C. So he wanted to come to Atlanta.
[1:31:57] Speaker 1: But you know, but it was it was just it
[1:32:00] Speaker 1: was what it was. You know, no needs you know,
[1:32:03] Speaker 1: to carry on any longer.
[1:32:04] Speaker 2: But it was that is a cocktail, you know, if
[1:32:06] Speaker 2: you have I will just say, like everyone might not
[1:32:09] Speaker 2: have those spontaneous situations like that, but I do think
[1:32:13] Speaker 2: when you have experienced like the spontaneous sexual moments in life.
[1:32:19] Speaker 1: Like it is like, wow, I really did.
[1:32:22] Speaker 3: It makes you feel a lot, it does.
[1:32:24] Speaker 1: I had to go tell my friends, like a stairweb
[1:32:27] Speaker 1: I mem today whatever his name was, Like, you're just like, wow,
[1:32:31] Speaker 1: I really did that. You're not sad after like, because
[1:32:33] Speaker 1: there's versions of this where you could be very sad. Yeah,
[1:32:36] Speaker 1: but when you're not, you're like, wow, I really I
[1:32:38] Speaker 1: really got a good time.
[1:32:39] Speaker 3: Yes, I lived my life on the edge. Look at
[1:32:41] Speaker 3: me go out like I.
[1:32:43] Speaker 2: Made someone's fantasy come true right right than a starwey
[1:32:46] Speaker 2: kids gang that he thinks about it every now and again.
[1:32:49] Speaker 1: He still takes me from time to time.
[1:32:51] Speaker 3: Oh so he definitely thinks about it a lot.
[1:32:53] Speaker 1: I'm not interested.
[1:32:54] Speaker 3: Yeah, but he still taxes me already does he never
[1:32:57] Speaker 3: had no experience.
[1:32:58] Speaker 1: Like that before you daddies, we need to go to
[1:33:02] Speaker 1: the little ak.
[1:33:04] Speaker 3: I ain't never been to one. My sister, my other sister,
[1:33:07] Speaker 3: Jasmine was here because her little brother is in that.
[1:33:09] Speaker 3: I was like, I know, it sounds familiar, and they
[1:33:12] Speaker 3: were playing the sports and traveling around. I would have went.
[1:33:18] Speaker 3: I've never considered that. Prot I was just like, I
[1:33:21] Speaker 3: want to see these kids playing.
[1:33:22] Speaker 1: He ain't graduated high school yet, Like it's aist.
[1:33:26] Speaker 3: I never considered that, but that makes a lot of sense.
[1:33:29] Speaker 3: And I bet the daddies. That's when the daddies, even
[1:33:31] Speaker 3: if they wasn't active, they're gonna clock in.
[1:33:33] Speaker 2: They clock incause like usually because like it's all you
[1:33:36] Speaker 2: see is dad. It's a mom and a dad too,
[1:33:39] Speaker 2: but usually it's all the dads.
[1:33:40] Speaker 1: When the bast of all they're real excited about dad.
[1:33:44] Speaker 1: So all the dads the.
[1:33:47] Speaker 3: Left out.
[1:33:48] Speaker 2: Well, actually we enjoyed having you. Yeah, to be in
[1:33:53] Speaker 2: your presence. Let everybody know where they can find you.
[1:33:55] Speaker 2: If you have anything coming up, let the people know
[1:33:58] Speaker 2: so you can find me on All Things six with Ashley,
[1:34:02] Speaker 2: I don't have anything. You're gonna have a book coming
[1:34:06] Speaker 2: out next year twenty twenty six. I just sent it
[1:34:09] Speaker 2: to the editors. Uh, we'll see what the day inside.
[1:34:14] Speaker 2: But I don't come out next year twenty twenty six.
[1:34:16] Speaker 2: It's called Pleasure. Please excited. Thank you, Thank you for comming.
[1:34:21] Speaker 2: We appreciate you. Thank you guys for listening. Follow all
[1:34:24] Speaker 2: the things going on.
[1:34:25] Speaker 1: You have several trips to choose from a variety of trips.
[1:34:28] Speaker 3: Do multiple because they don't even cross over at all.
[1:34:31] Speaker 3: If you got the money, come on, yeah, anything, just
[1:34:38] Speaker 3: make sure you checks in the description.
[1:34:42] Speaker 1: And you have a Patreon video.
[1:34:44] Speaker 3: Oh yeah, so we post a Patreon video for last
[1:34:48] Speaker 3: week and then it's part two this week. So the
[1:34:51] Speaker 3: content is coming back, y'all. My sister came in here
[1:34:53] Speaker 3: and she kicked my ask. She came to town like
[1:34:55] Speaker 3: a fucking tornado, and it was like, but she sitting
[1:34:58] Speaker 3: on all these videos. I'm thinking, didn't have stuff. It's coming,
[1:35:02] Speaker 3: So everybody go follow my sister. Malory Alexis is not
[1:35:06] Speaker 3: spelled the normal way. My mama was getting creative that year.
[1:35:10] Speaker 3: I'll tag her too, and she'd be editing and stuff,
[1:35:13] Speaker 3: and y'all send her some messages please. I'm trying to
[1:35:15] Speaker 3: encourage her to use her skills to like really start
[1:35:18] Speaker 3: editing like short form content for people and doing social
[1:35:22] Speaker 3: media management and marketing because she's really really good and
[1:35:25] Speaker 3: she gets.
[1:35:25] Speaker 1: So Valorie Mallori. I'm about to text Mallori because I said, what.
[1:35:30] Speaker 3: Would you charge? She sent me a text me and
[1:35:32] Speaker 3: she said, well, it's a lot. But I'm wondering what
[1:35:34] Speaker 3: she thinks is a lot. We'll see with these messages.
[1:35:36] Speaker 3: But I think if more people hit her up, she
[1:35:39] Speaker 3: can leave the salon. Sorry to her clients, but she
[1:35:42] Speaker 3: can leave the salon and do something else. She's really
[1:35:44] Speaker 3: passionate about it and she just learned. And I'm just like,
[1:35:47] Speaker 3: thank you, because she don't mind helping me. She thinks
[1:35:49] Speaker 3: I'm gonna get her somewhere, and she's like, we need
[1:35:52] Speaker 3: a show or something, so I'm gonna try anyway follow
[1:35:55] Speaker 3: her do that. We've got these trips, we've got lots
[1:35:58] Speaker 3: of links, and we've got paid pre videos. The girls
[1:36:01] Speaker 3: are back. And I had sex probably at least six
[1:36:04] Speaker 3: times this year, which is a record number compared to
[1:36:08] Speaker 3: last year, because it's probably at zero by this point,
[1:36:11] Speaker 3: so like something's changing, something changing.
[1:36:13] Speaker 2: I went on a date, but I'll tell I'll tell
[1:36:15] Speaker 2: y'll about it next week. I'll tell you about it
[1:36:16] Speaker 2: next week.
[1:36:17] Speaker 3: I know you fucking lie. Well, we gotta go so
[1:36:19] Speaker 3: I can hear this, y'all. Click the links. Bye everybody,
[1:36:23] Speaker 3: good night, good day, see you later.
[1:36:25] Speaker 4: Peace bye bye
[1:36:30] Speaker 2: Bye bye bye, good bye bye bye we try bye
[1:36:40] Speaker 2: bye bye

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