# Emergency Podcast: The Grade Cricketer Select the Australian XI

An episode of [The Howie Games](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1146329262), 26 Oct 2026, 17 min.

Audio: https://enrichment.soundstack.com/4vjqq8/episode.flightcast.com/wci8xy5ofppsq6exw2d5kdx1.mp3

The Grade Cricketer join Howie in Cape Town at Breakfast on the eve of the third Test, and the fun is in full swing. It’s time to pick the Australian XI… and the opinions are flying! Plus, a cameo from the great Mark Nicholas and Marcus from Victoria joins the party. The laughs are flowing, the selections are in, and the banter is strong. But now, the fun stops and the cricket gets REAL. Live on Fox Sports and Kayo from 6PM Tuesday night. IT’S DECIDER TIME. COME ALONG FOR THE RIDE! South African Test Tour Diaries continue Thursday! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

## Transcript

[0:02] A listener production.
[0:07] Righto.
[0:07] Not much from me.
[0:08] An emergency edition of the Howie Games podcast today.
[0:12] First time we've ever done an emergency drop.
[0:16] I have never in my time watching cricket heard and seen so much discussion about who should play in the Australian XI here in Cape Town for the final deciding test match.
[0:29] So we have grabbed two superstars of the caper from the great cricketer Pez Anhigo.
[0:38] as these two great cricket minds put together their 11 for this deciding test match.
[0:44] Catch the boys on socials at The Great Cricketer, on their YouTube channel, on their podcast.
[0:49] They dominate all of them.
[0:51] The vineyard is the hotel here in Cape Town.
[0:54] It is beautiful.
[0:55] This was recorded right now over breakfast.
[0:59] Here's the 11th.
[1:02] Like you all, we are picking our Australian 11.
[1:05] Unfortunately, we couldn't find any selectors.
[1:07] So we've got Pez and Higo and the Grey Cricketer boys.
[1:11] Are you up to this task?
[1:12] And good morning.
[1:13] Good morning to you, Howie.
[1:13] Good morning.
[1:15] Shocking spot, Cape Town.
[1:16] No good.
[1:17] Under God's table.
[1:18] Under God's table.
[1:19] How was breakfast?
[1:20] Outstanding.
[1:21] It's been 11 out of 10.
[1:22] But I've got things on my mind about who's going to play and where.
[1:26] And I'm upset already before the game started.
[1:28] What about?
[1:30] Well, because, you know, Matthew Hayden can't bat for us.
[1:34] Ricky Ponting, you know, Adam Gilchrist, can he play?
[1:37] Gilly might actually be able to play, to be fair.
[1:39] But, yeah, I mean, sure, the first Test match was a historic victory, amazing circumstances, one of the greats.
[1:45] But the second Test was the opposite.
[1:46] So, baby out with the bathwater stuff?
[1:49] Well, it's going to be up to you two, because I am not going to select my team, but you boys.
[1:54] Why are you doing that?
[1:56] Because I have to see them all on the ground...
[2:00] They're a sensitive bunch, aren't they?
[2:05] We just hide in a little box and don't speak to them.
[2:07] Yeah, that's right.
[2:08] I have to go down and, oh, you want to interview me?
[2:10] You weren't going to pick me on the side yesterday.
[2:12] Yeah.
[2:12] Okay.
[2:13] So this is, I can't remember a test match where there has been that much conversation about who's going to play.
[2:19] Yeah.
[2:20] It's good.
[2:20] Yeah.
[2:21] It is good, isn't it?
[2:21] There's something exciting about it.
[2:23] And Pat won't announce it, I imagine, to the toss, which is always interesting.
[2:26] Yeah.
[2:26] Yeah.
[2:26] Well, we know what he's like.
[2:29] You've got to pick him.
[2:30] This whole show is now just winding Howie up to say something about the team.
[2:34] I love Pat.
[2:35] I love Pat.
[2:35] I love Pat.
[2:36] What were you saying about Pat beforehand?
[2:37] I love Pat.
[2:38] I love Pat.
[2:38] He's my hero.
[2:40] I'd pick 11 Pats.
[2:41] All right, let's start at the top.
[2:43] We'll start with you, Pez.
[2:46] You're opening pair.
[2:47] Yeah, so I would pick six batters to open the batting.
[2:51] No, I would pick six batters that are most likely to make hundreds.
[2:55] So I would go with Renshaw and Head.
[2:57] Renshaw and Head to start things off?
[2:59] Yeah.
[3:00] Yeah, so I've got two 11s in my head.
[3:02] One of what I think is going to happen and the fun one, which involves guys who aren't even on the tour just yet.
[3:07] I don't think we can.
[3:08] Okay, we'll do it.
[3:09] But this is who we want, isn't it?
[3:11] So it's not what we think Bailey and his merry men are.
[3:15] No, it's your team.
[3:15] It is the team you are picking to win this test match.
[3:18] Yeah, okay, yeah.
[3:19] Yeah, so it is, it is, yeah, it's what Pez said, head and wrench all you.
[3:23] Yeah.
[3:24] Okay.
[3:25] The number three position.
[3:28] Marnus currently holds it.
[3:29] Yes.
[3:30] Does he continue to hold it?
[3:31] Yes.
[3:31] Yes.
[3:32] I would select Marnus in this test match.
[3:36] He has, and people will hate this, but he's looked good.
[3:40] He's batted better than he has in the last couple of years.
[3:42] He's looked fantastic.
[3:43] People hate this term, carry percentage, so I'm just going to say it for the algorithm, for you, Howie.
[3:48] What's the carry percentage?
[3:50] Well, it's the percentage of runs you score relative to the innings.
[3:53] So take hundreds and take all the milestones away.
[3:56] It's like how much of a contribution you're making to each innings.
[3:59] Manus has been in the top three in three of the four innings.
[4:03] So he's...
[4:04] People don't like it, but he is making contributions.
[4:08] I don't think he's too far away.
[4:09] Plus, he's in South Africa.
[4:11] It's romantic.
[4:12] I'm going for some romance here.
[4:15] And also because the montage would be unbelievable if he made the 100 in home climbs in the sandpaper reunion game.
[4:22] I like it.
[4:23] And he's never been dismissed by KG Rabada.
[4:25] Really?
[4:26] Is that right?
[4:26] Never.
[4:27] See, that's what I bring to the table.
[4:28] Numbers.
[4:29] Interesting.
[4:30] Yeah.
[4:30] I don't think Bailey's going to select him, but anyway.
[4:32] Yeah, I think he's going to get dropped, but I think he should play.
[4:34] First of all, as part of the grey cricketer, we do think that grey cricket should be represented in the Australian side.
[4:40] Now, is there anything more relatable than throwing away a 30 consistently?
[4:43] That's so true.
[4:43] First of all, just getting to 30.
[4:45] I mean, dream big.
[4:47] I think that it's a weird one because Marnus probably should have been dropped a while ago.
[4:52] Yet, in this must-win game, I don't think he's the problem.
[4:55] I don't think he's necessarily the reason why Australia haven't won both of the games so far.
[5:00] Obviously, they won the first one.
[5:02] So I'm picking Manus as well.
[5:04] Okay.
[5:06] He's a guy that, and this is statistically demonstrated otherwise, because what's his record right now?
[5:13] No one's gone longer without 100 for Australia.
[5:15] But I'm saying he can make 100.
[5:17] So it shows what I know.
[5:18] I love your confidence.
[5:19] Okay, so we have agreements so far.
[5:21] The number four position...
[5:26] It's just got to go to the guy, right?
[5:27] I mean, he's made it very clear that he won't play in the team.
[5:30] No, it's Steve Smith.
[5:32] Has to be.
[5:32] Yeah.
[5:33] Has to be.
[5:34] I'm going for Mr. Olympics, Steve Smith.
[5:36] Mr. Olympics?
[5:37] Yeah.
[5:37] Why do you call him Mr. Olympics?
[5:38] Well, he only wants to play in the Olympics now.
[5:41] I'm not sure how much he's got left in the baggy green, to be honest, but he wants those Olympic rings tattooed on his body.
[5:45] That's the deal.
[5:46] Yeah.
[5:47] Right now.
[5:47] He will play in the test matches at number four if we pick him in the Olympics.
[5:51] Is that the way it's going?
[5:51] Yeah.
[5:52] It's quite clear, isn't it?
[5:53] Well, he's throwing heavy steel in New York.
[5:55] Yeah.
[5:55] So we were talking about he should be carrying the flag in LA for the Olympic ceremony.
[6:01] Give him that and he'll start scoring some runs.
[6:03] Yeah.
[6:04] It's the horse trading for the Olympics.
[6:05] Right.
[6:05] Give it to him, Steve.
[6:06] John Coates, flag bearer.
[6:07] You're in.
[6:08] Okay.
[6:08] The number five position.
[6:09] Now, things start to get interesting here.
[6:11] They do.
[6:11] Yeah.
[6:12] Green.
[6:13] Green.
[6:14] Comes in.
[6:15] Plays five.
[6:15] Yeah.
[6:16] Cameron Graham made it very, very clear in the last tests against Bangladesh where no-one else could bat that when you allow him to bat in those positions at the tempo that he likes, he can make big runs for Australia, which is what Australia needs right now.
[6:30] So by extension, pick him in that position again and let him do that thing.
[6:34] We also know that he can't bowl at the moment.
[6:37] Well, just come in for a sec, cock.
[6:42] What's your name?
[6:42] You need to move in a bit.
[6:43] Marcus.
[6:43] What's your team, Marcus?
[6:46] You need to still bend down, Marcus, or we can't see you.
[6:48] Right.
[6:49] Move this way a little bit, Marcus.
[6:50] There you go.
[6:52] Not talking as much with the red light on now, huh?
[6:56] No.
[6:57] Righto.
[6:57] Who's your top six?
[7:00] Renshaw, Head.
[7:01] Yeah.
[7:02] Harper.
[7:05] Harper!
[7:09] He's always Victorian.
[7:09] Yeah, he's Victorian.
[7:11] Marcus had 15 beers last night.
[7:13] I did, I did, I did.
[7:14] I've got no bloody idea.
[7:15] Right, well, piss off then.
[7:17] That's all we need from you, Marcus.
[7:18] I just don't reckon my honest will play.
[7:21] Righto, there we go.
[7:22] Still not on camera, but thank you.
[7:25] Oh, I don't want to be on camera.
[7:26] Well done.
[7:27] Well done.
[7:28] The Aussies, we're a bit rattled out.
[7:30] We're all over the shot.
[7:31] So you're going green.
[7:32] Are you five?
[7:33] Yes, I'm also going green.
[7:35] But it is interesting because when Renshaw made 190 in the first test, it was such a great inning.
[7:39] So we were like, well, he's got about five.
[7:41] And then he left the ball on middle stump and was LBW in bold and the same dismissal.
[7:45] And we're like, you know, opening, I think.
[7:47] That was as bad as 190.
[7:48] Yeah.
[7:49] Yeah.
[7:49] He lost all of his credits for number five in one ball.
[7:53] That was great, Grigg, wasn't it?
[7:54] When your mate comes in, you said, oh, you lost your off stump there.
[7:57] And by the way, you would have been Elf as well.
[8:01] Okay, so unusually, apart from Marcus, we've got a very similar five at the moment.
[8:06] We're a high five.
[8:07] We're a high five.
[8:08] Yeah.
[8:08] Six.
[8:10] Um...
[8:10] This is...
[8:11] This is the... Apart from when we get to the bowlers, this is the one for me.
[8:15] Who are you going for at six?
[8:16] Uh, I think that... Um...
[8:20] I think that Slug should be six.
[8:22] Um... That's because I think that Kerry is a world-class number seven.
[8:29] Yeah.
[8:29] Uh, and I think that he...
[8:33] can do a lot of damage from that position.
[8:35] I feel six is one spot too high.
[8:37] I think Australia needs bowling insurance they can't get from Cameron Green, and I think that seam-up insurance from Slug is all they've got on tour.
[8:47] I don't think that the other guys they have in the bullpen, like Connolly, et cetera, is as useful for this debt.
[8:54] Have you seen Inglis' seam-up stuff or not?
[8:56] No, I haven't.
[8:57] Is that a Matt Wade sort of style?
[8:59] No, he's more your one sixes, I think.
[9:02] Yeah.
[9:03] Okay.
[9:03] Yeah.
[9:05] Okay, so... We've got blokes ready to go here.
[9:08] I've got Kerry at seven as well.
[9:09] Okay.
[9:10] So six...
[9:12] I was thinking between Inglis and...
[9:15] So Connolly won't bowl.
[9:17] So if I was playing Connolly, he's playing as a bat on the basis that I think he's going to score 100 where Bo Webster wouldn't.
[9:22] Now, Bo Webster has been, except for this series, he's been such a consistent contributor.
[9:29] He has.
[9:30] But when it's not working, the balance of the side feels off.
[9:34] But maybe that's the same as any cricketer who is consistently out of form.
[9:37] I don't think he's out of form.
[9:38] It's just...
[9:39] So...
[9:41] I, and I don't know if Inglis has been hitting him in the nets.
[9:44] I don't know how he's been hitting him in the nets.
[9:45] All of Tasmania is hanging on this statement.
[9:48] I do like a Tasmanian in the side, I've got to say that.
[9:50] So I'm going to, I'm also going to put Slug at six.
[9:53] I thought you were going separate because I'm different there.
[9:56] So you boys are sticking.
[9:57] Listen, I'm going to say, Slug wouldn't mind me saying this.
[9:59] He looks dreadful at the moment.
[10:01] I think he probably would mind you saying that.
[10:03] Well, sorry, slug.
[10:04] No, he's all right.
[10:05] I think he would.
[10:06] I picked him.
[10:06] I picked a slug.
[10:07] I picked you.
[10:08] You're in.
[10:08] So, Bo, you're looking terrible, but we're sticking with you.
[10:11] It's a process of elimination thing.
[10:13] I think they need the insurance of the ball.
[10:15] I mean, you know.
[10:15] Yeah.
[10:16] The bowling is the prize fighter asset to this team.
[10:19] You've got to have someone who can back them up.
[10:21] You can't go into a five-day test match with the stakes that they have with just the four bowlers and no one to back them or just a bit of Dobly spin.
[10:30] So for me, that's slugged by process of elimination.
[10:34] I think this position is Cooper Conley's position, just not in this test match.
[10:38] I think if Slug misses out, this might be Slug's last game.
[10:41] Yeah.
[10:42] Anybody told you, boy, you could have a future in media?
[10:44] You're quite good at this.
[10:46] No.
[10:47] No.
[10:47] It's never come up.
[10:49] So you're both going carry at seven?
[10:51] Yeah.
[10:52] Okay.
[10:52] Which is switching the current order, which would be weird.
[10:54] So that's not going to happen.
[10:56] So now we get to the bowlers, and this is interesting.
[10:58] So coming in after Alex Care at number eight is...
[11:02] Pat.
[11:02] Pat.
[11:03] Yeah.
[11:04] Yeah, I'll pick the captain.
[11:05] Yeah.
[11:06] Yeah, just.
[11:07] Yeah, yeah.
[11:08] Okay.
[11:09] I don't think it gets interesting yet.
[11:11] Coming in at nine is, right, Big Starkey, the number one test-ranked bowler in the world.
[11:17] Yeah, he plays, yeah.
[11:18] He's on notice.
[11:19] Now, this is where it gets interesting.
[11:23] Coming in at number 10.
[11:25] If fit, and we saw that he went off, um...
[11:29] with an abdominal issue in Beha.
[11:33] What would that?
[11:35] I will pick Hoth.
[11:37] You're picking Josh Hazelwood to bat 10?
[11:39] Sorry, sorry, guys.
[11:42] I'll pick Gaz, yeah.
[11:44] You're picking Nathan Lyons.
[11:45] So Nathan Lyons comes in at number 10.
[11:47] With the deck the way that locals describe it as, I mean, they say that it's green early, there's good days for batting, and then it dries up and it's conducive to spin.
[11:58] Pick your spinner, pick your 140 test guy, series on the line.
[12:02] I'm going with the cartel.
[12:04] My good mate, Vernon Philander.
[12:06] Just pick that one up.
[12:07] What's your side?
[12:09] Well, we're just getting to that, Marcus.
[12:11] Just piss off, would you, Marcus?
[12:13] Can you get your husband out of here, for God's sake?
[12:19] Not his husband.
[12:20] Not anymore, yeah, okay.
[12:24] So my good mate.
[12:25] What do you say there?
[12:25] You've underestimated me, I've had 30 beers.
[12:31] My good mate, Vernon Philander, said you have to pick a spinner.
[12:34] Are you going with Vern's advice, like Pez?
[12:37] Uh...
[12:38] Yeah, I am.
[12:39] I am essentially dropping Australia's number three, the night watchman, the greatest performer every time he plays.
[12:45] Nathan Lyon, I think he's playing.
[12:46] Yeah.
[12:47] I think Nathan Lyon's been good as well.
[12:48] He bowled well against Bangladesh.
[12:50] Yes.
[12:50] I think he bowled well in the first test.
[12:51] He's a go.
[12:52] And he's got to play.
[12:54] So there's been so much discussion about the batters, but now you have a choice.
[12:59] Hazelwood, six for in the first test.
[13:02] Boland...
[13:03] He's bowling.
[13:04] All right?
[13:05] And at this point, we don't have any Victorians in there.
[13:08] Hello, Nico.
[13:10] Do you know the great cricket boys?
[13:12] Yeah.
[13:13] Pez.
[13:14] And here you go.
[13:14] Nice to meet you, Ian.
[13:16] Picking our straight 11.
[13:17] We're nearly done.
[13:20] Are you picking a spinner?
[13:23] Okay.
[13:24] So you're picking line.
[13:26] Just very briefly.
[13:26] I'm definitely picking a spinner.
[13:27] Okay, so therefore at number 11, are you picking, so you're picking Cummins, you're picking Start, you're picking Line, are you picking Hazelwood?
[13:36] I'd like to see the pitch.
[13:38] No!
[13:38] Don't worry about the pitch.
[13:39] Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, Bowling.
[13:41] Bowling, okay, so he's gone for the Victorian.
[13:43] Thank you, Nico.
[13:44] Be with you in breakfast shortly.
[13:46] I think it's a fit man.
[13:47] Okay.
[13:48] I'm going to the gym.
[13:49] Okay.
[13:50] Very fit man, very fit man.
[13:52] Okay, so this is where it comes to.
[13:55] Are we picking the man that got Pfeiffer and held us together with the bat, Boland, or are we going with typically the incumbent Hazelwood?
[14:03] Okay.
[14:04] I'm picking Hoff.
[14:05] To me, this is...
[14:06] So you're leaving out Boland?
[14:07] Correct.
[14:08] So there's no Victorian in the side?
[14:09] That's the implication, yeah.
[14:11] There's no Victorian in the side?
[14:13] Yeah.
[14:14] You and New South Wales clowns...
[14:16] I've lived in Melbourne for 15 years, brother.
[14:18] Baggy blue thing.
[14:19] All right, so you're picking Hoff and who's a star?
[14:21] I had Manson as captain.
[14:22] Oh.
[14:26] Oli Davies looked good, actually.
[14:27] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[14:28] And get Costas on the play tonight.
[14:29] Nice.
[14:29] Get him here tonight.
[14:30] Righto, so you're going the half.
[14:32] Superstar.
[14:33] I am.
[14:35] Scott Bolin's performance in the second test was outstanding.
[14:38] And what he did with the bat was such an exemplar of what we would have liked to have seen from most of the rest of the team.
[14:45] That said, I just think in the big title fight, you go with your premier guys.
[14:52] And I also think that...
[14:56] not to take away from what Barrell has brought to the team, but he is often brought in when conditions are particularly conducive to him and he exploits them.
[15:07] But if this deck is, as people are saying, which is like it's going to offer a lot at the start but going to be pretty tough through the middle and conducive to spin, I'm going with the guys who've done it together.
[15:18] And it's a tough call.
[15:19] It is.
[15:20] It's a really tough call.
[15:21] But if Hoff is fit, I mean, he's bowling in the first test.
[15:24] I mean, he's premier quick in the world.
[15:27] So tough call.
[15:28] Sorry, Beryl.
[15:31] In 1995, there was a Rugby World Cup here, Howie.
[15:34] And the All Blacks were playing against the Springboks.
[15:36] Yep.
[15:37] And there was an accusation of food poisoning.
[15:38] There was.
[15:39] Now, Josh Hazelwood suffered food poisoning, we understand.
[15:42] Now, the South Africans, they respect Hoff so much, the elite bushwhorse, we call him on our show.
[15:48] They rate him so highly that they're going to food poison him like they did with the All Blacks in 1995, allegedly.
[15:54] So I'm going to go with Hoff and Barrel is going to make the best ratio of cordials you'll ever see.
[16:01] That's the side.
[16:02] OK, is it a side that will win the Test match and the series here in Cape Town?
[16:09] Oh, God, no.
[16:14] Have you seen Jansen?
[16:15] Have you seen a team that just picked him?
[16:17] Just said Robata.
[16:18] Robata can't be stopped.
[16:19] No, I just want my mates in.
[16:22] I just know a couple of these guys.
[16:25] Took us 18 minutes and we don't have a hope.
[16:28] We'll win.
[16:28] We'll win.
[16:29] I think we'll win.
[16:29] We'll win.
[16:29] I think we'll win.
[16:30] We'll win?
[16:31] You don't though, do you?
[16:32] No, no, no, I do.
[16:33] I think Australia's got a good shot.
[16:37] Boys, a great cricketer on any platform, podcast, audio, visual.
[16:41] Check out their work with Fafdu Pussy, which was outstanding as well.
[16:45] Thanks, thanks for having us.
[16:46] Thank you.

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