# Is The Social Media Ban Already Failing?

An episode of [Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1082244480), 29 Jul 2026, 15 min.

Audio: https://mgln.ai/e/187/traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/b69b2795-5503-4de1-ac91-af460017906e/86cff6bb-9043-4ce3-9db8-b488003e5cad/audio.mp3?utm_source=Podcast&in_playlist=a05f1702-0c0e-4b0f-8014-af460017907c

Australia banned social media for under-16s. It hasn't stopped kids from using it. New research shows most young people are still logging on, creating fake accounts and finding easy ways around age checks. Dr Justin Coulson explains why the law isn't delivering what parents hoped for and why families still have the biggest influence on their children's online lives. Then the conversation turns to something far more hopeful. Dutch children are the happiest in the world. It's not because Dutch parents have all the answers. Their families spend more time together. Their children have more independence. Their communities are built around connection. Justin and Kylie unpack what Australian parents can borrow, even if we can't recreate the Dutch system. KEY POINTS • What the first research on Australia's social media ban found. • How children are getting around age verification. • Why parents still need to lead screen time at home. • The habits that help Dutch children report the highest levels of happiness. • Why friendships, family time and independence matter more than expensive programs. • Simple ways to create stronger community around your own family. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE "The legislation can't do the parenting for us. We still have to do the job." RESOURCES MENTIONED • Boys: Building Strong Young Men from the Inside Out by Dr Justin Coulson • 10 Things Every Parent Needs to Know by Dr Justin Coulson • Misconnection by Dr Justin Coulson • Happy Families resources at happyfamilies.com.au • Research: Early Effects of Australia's Social Media Minimum Age Act on Adolescents' Social Media Use ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS • Don't assume the social media ban is keeping your child off social media. Check in often. • Talk about social media regularly instead of waiting until something goes wrong. • Protect family time by working it into your weekly routine. • Help your child build friendships through school, sport and local activities. • Invite another family over, organise a neighbourhood catch-up or say yes to the next community event. Small connections build a stronger village. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

## Transcript

[0:05] Speaker 1: Hello, this is the Happy Family's podcast Doctor's Desk Thursday edition.
[0:09] Speaker 1: I wouldn't you know it. The social media inter age
[0:12] Speaker 1: legislation is not working out quite so well. It's not
[0:14] Speaker 1: going the way we'd all hoped it would go. The
[0:16] Speaker 1: government has not quite done the job that it's supposed to.
[0:19] Speaker 1: I've heard a whisper along the grapevine that there are
[0:21] Speaker 1: some legal proceedings occurring with the big platforms not doing
[0:25] Speaker 1: their job. More on that shortly in our Doctor's Desk
[0:27] Speaker 1: episode and what it means for you as a parent.
[0:30] Speaker 1: Plus Dutch children are the happiest in the world. We'll
[0:35] Speaker 1: find out why with brand new research pointing out what
[0:38] Speaker 1: we can do to follow the Dutch at least a
[0:41] Speaker 1: little bit and help our kids and us to be happier.
[0:44] Speaker 1: It's the Happy Famili's podcast. More next, stay with us.
[0:49] Speaker 1: Hello and welcome to the Happy Families podcast, where you
[0:52] Speaker 1: get real parenting solutions every single day. This is Australia's
[0:56] Speaker 1: most downloaded parenting podcasts where Justin and Kytie Coulson and Kytie.
[1:00] Speaker 1: We're going to go fast today. We've got too I
[1:02] Speaker 1: repeat two big studies to talk about champing in the
[1:05] Speaker 1: bit to get into this one, and I can see
[1:06] Speaker 1: the enthusiasm writ large on your face because you're so
[1:10] Speaker 1: excited about these to which one do you want to
[1:11] Speaker 1: do first? The social media stuff and let's talk about
[1:13] Speaker 1: what's going on with the minimum age legislation, or should
[1:16] Speaker 1: we talk about Dutch kids being happy and how ours
[1:18] Speaker 1: aren't quite as happy?
[1:20] Speaker 2: No, we're going to start with the the rip the
[1:23] Speaker 2: band aid.
[1:24] Speaker 1: Hear I can hear the misery in your voice.
[1:26] Speaker 2: Well, I'm a little bit sick, not just that having
[1:29] Speaker 2: me a hard time.
[1:29] Speaker 1: We talk about social media all the time, seriously.
[1:34] Speaker 2: Like like the bane of a parent's life right now.
[1:36] Speaker 1: Parenting is dealing with children on screens in twenty twenty six.
[1:40] Speaker 2: So you're a really big agitator for the social media ban,
[1:44] Speaker 2: recognizing that we need to do something more to protect
[1:48] Speaker 2: our kids. But you also were very vocal in acknowledging
[1:53] Speaker 2: that you didn't think it was going to work, in
[1:55] Speaker 2: spite of agitating for a change and a need for protection.
[2:00] Speaker 2: So what's the research saying now?
[2:02] Speaker 1: Okay, so thank you the British Medical Journal, the BMJ,
[2:06] Speaker 1: high profile journal. This one matters, brand new research just
[2:09] Speaker 1: published in the last What was it twenty fourth of June,
[2:13] Speaker 1: so in the last month this has just come out
[2:15] Speaker 1: brand new, really important, assessing early effects of Australia's Social
[2:18] Speaker 1: Media Minimum Age Act on adolescents social media use. It's
[2:23] Speaker 1: an observational study run by some researchers at the University
[2:28] Speaker 1: of Newcastle in New South Wales as well as some
[2:31] Speaker 1: researchers at Deacon University and the Center for Health in
[2:36] Speaker 1: All Policies out of South Australia. And here's what they've
[2:40] Speaker 1: basically tried to do, Kylie. They've said, we need to
[2:42] Speaker 1: examine how this world first national policy which established the
[2:48] Speaker 1: national minimum age of sixteen for holding accounts on a
[2:51] Speaker 1: handful of designated social media platforms, how that's affected social
[2:56] Speaker 1: media use, and talk about what adolescents are doing in
[2:59] Speaker 1: relation to social media platforms as a result of the
[3:02] Speaker 1: act being brought in. So that's basically what they're looking at.
[3:05] Speaker 1: It's an observational study looking at Australian adults age twelve
[3:10] Speaker 1: to seventeen at the time that the implementation of the
[3:14] Speaker 1: age restrictions went in. They ended up with just over
[3:18] Speaker 1: four hundred adolescents Kylie, four hundred and eight. It's along
[3:22] Speaker 1: the chunal studies. So they got baseline data and then
[3:24] Speaker 1: a three month period later they collected more information as well.
[3:28] Speaker 1: And what they were just asking is how much social
[3:30] Speaker 1: media are you using? Like it was self report okay,
[3:33] Speaker 1: relying on adults, sorry, adolescents.
[3:36] Speaker 2: To be truthful, to be truthful about.
[3:38] Speaker 1: Social media in the previous seven days okay, and also
[3:42] Speaker 1: time spent per day. So we know that it's not
[3:44] Speaker 1: going to be perfect because self report around screens never is.
[3:48] Speaker 1: It's far from perfect. People are drastically lacking in self
[3:53] Speaker 1: awareness in terms of how much they're using it. But
[3:56] Speaker 1: that's what they've done. They had four hundred and thirty
[3:59] Speaker 1: six adolescents at the start. Three months later they've lost
[4:01] Speaker 1: a few, so they were down to four hundred and eight.
[4:03] Speaker 1: They lost about thirty I can't do maths twenty eight
[4:05] Speaker 1: twenty eight. Eighty five of them were under sixteen. More
[4:09] Speaker 1: than eighty five percent of the participants under sixteen said yep,
[4:14] Speaker 1: I'm using social media platforms that the acts that I
[4:17] Speaker 1: can't use, and I have been using them in the
[4:20] Speaker 1: last week and certainly over the last three months, and
[4:22] Speaker 1: I'm using them via my own account. There were two thirds,
[4:26] Speaker 1: literally sixty six percent who reported exposure to platform age verification.
[4:31] Speaker 1: That is, only two thirds were even asked to prove
[4:35] Speaker 1: their age. Most of them who got through just uploaded
[4:38] Speaker 1: a picture and kind of lied about what was going on.
[4:41] Speaker 1: They uploaded selfies, they circumvented restrictions, they created fake accounts,
[4:47] Speaker 1: They used social media via private browser VPNs. In other words,
[4:53] Speaker 1: the conclusion, essentially, Kylie, is that the time spent per
[4:57] Speaker 1: day has not really changed for twelve thirteen year olds.
[5:01] Speaker 1: It has gone down a little bit for fourteen and
[5:03] Speaker 1: fifteen year olds, but we're not talking much. And basically
[5:07] Speaker 1: the majority of kids, if they want to be on
[5:09] Speaker 1: social media under the age sixteen, they still are.
[5:12] Speaker 2: So is this where we roll over, we're defeated, we
[5:16] Speaker 2: give up, or is there actually more that we can
[5:20] Speaker 2: and should be doing in an effort to protect our children.
[5:23] Speaker 1: Okay, I have two answers for this. The first is
[5:26] Speaker 1: that the government has to do what they said that
[5:28] Speaker 1: they would do. They've got to have bite. This cannot
[5:31] Speaker 1: be a dog that barks and barks and barks, but
[5:33] Speaker 1: never actually bites. They need to take these platforms to court.
[5:36] Speaker 1: They need to sue them. They need to inflict reputational
[5:40] Speaker 1: and financial damage. And the reality is a forty nine
[5:42] Speaker 1: and a half million dollar fine. While it seems like
[5:44] Speaker 1: a lot to you and I, it's a couple of
[5:47] Speaker 1: hours work. If that, it's chump change for these companies. Nevertheless,
[5:51] Speaker 1: the government needs to show that serious about it and
[5:52] Speaker 1: they actually need to act. Like I said, I've heard
[5:54] Speaker 1: some whispers along the grapevine that some action is being taken,
[5:59] Speaker 1: but it's going to take a long time time. And this
[6:00] Speaker 1: is what I said would happen at the start of
[6:01] Speaker 1: the year. I said, court action is all going to
[6:03] Speaker 1: be on and it's going to take forever. And then
[6:06] Speaker 1: if the government wins, the companies will appeal and nothing
[6:08] Speaker 1: will change for our children. Which brings me to part
[6:10] Speaker 1: two of my answer, and that is that as parents,
[6:13] Speaker 1: we are not out of the woods. We still have
[6:15] Speaker 1: to be the parents. We still have to do the
[6:17] Speaker 1: job because the legislation, while it exists, it's not doing
[6:21] Speaker 1: it for us. The good news is the legislation is there.
[6:24] Speaker 1: So this is a bit like getting your kids to
[6:26] Speaker 1: wear a seat belt in the car. The legislation's there,
[6:28] Speaker 1: but if your kids don't want to wear a seat belt,
[6:31] Speaker 1: they can probably get away with it most of the time,
[6:33] Speaker 1: and no one's going to get fined. Like the police
[6:35] Speaker 1: are not stopping you every time you go for a drive.
[6:38] Speaker 1: There's just not that many police on the road. And
[6:40] Speaker 1: so in the same way, your kids can get on
[6:42] Speaker 1: social media and no one's going to stop them. But
[6:46] Speaker 1: every time you get in the car, you say to
[6:48] Speaker 1: your kids, put your seat belt on. And it's the
[6:50] Speaker 1: same with your kids and their screen news. We've got
[6:52] Speaker 1: to be across it. I've written a bunch of books
[6:54] Speaker 1: about it. Ten Things every Parent needs to Know. My
[6:56] Speaker 1: new book Boys, my book about teenage girls, are called Misconnection,
[7:00] Speaker 1: and I can't go to it in detail the podcast,
[7:02] Speaker 1: we just don't have time to go through it all.
[7:04] Speaker 1: But we've got to do the job. We've got to
[7:06] Speaker 1: beyond this.
[7:07] Speaker 2: Well, after the break, let's talk about something a little
[7:09] Speaker 2: bit more happier and I want to discover why Dutch
[7:14] Speaker 2: children are the happiest in the world.
[7:16] Speaker 1: That's next. Stay with us, we're back. It's the Heavy
[7:26] Speaker 1: Families podcast. Let's dive into this one, Kylie. I know
[7:29] Speaker 1: that you don't like it when I get too carried
[7:31] Speaker 1: away with two doctors desks in one episode, being hone.
[7:35] Speaker 2: I just want to know, are we moving to Holland anytimes?
[7:37] Speaker 1: Wouldn't it be nice?
[7:39] Speaker 2: Wouldn't it be nice?
[7:40] Speaker 1: I think so. Yeah. So here's what we know. The
[7:43] Speaker 1: Netherlands topped the charts forty three OECD and EU countries
[7:50] Speaker 1: when it comes to kids and their happiness. This was
[7:52] Speaker 1: from actually it's going back a little way, kind of
[7:55] Speaker 1: about nine months old now, but mental health, physical health,
[7:59] Speaker 1: and skills.
[8:00] Speaker 2: So we're talking about countries that have actually prolonged children's
[8:04] Speaker 2: ability to be at home and start later. That's essentially
[8:08] Speaker 2: the part of the world we're talking about, right Yeah.
[8:10] Speaker 1: Yeah. Interestingly that doesn't come up in the report as
[8:13] Speaker 1: part of it, but it is structural and that can
[8:16] Speaker 1: only happen because of all the other things that we'll
[8:18] Speaker 1: talk about. Yeah, so I've got a list of about
[8:20] Speaker 1: five things that the research points to that makes their
[8:23] Speaker 1: kids happier. We can't do all of these things in
[8:25] Speaker 1: this country, but we can do some of the things.
[8:27] Speaker 1: So I'm just going to whizz through them really quickly.
[8:29] Speaker 1: The first thing is social relationships are the engine of
[8:34] Speaker 1: this well being boost. I've always said community relationships are
[8:38] Speaker 1: the herd of well being. Build the village when you've
[8:41] Speaker 1: got a strong village, you tend to do well except
[8:44] Speaker 1: in some unusual circumstances. But strong relationships are everything. Where
[8:48] Speaker 1: Dutch kids really stand out is the support that they
[8:51] Speaker 1: get from family, from friends, from teachers, from classmates. They
[8:54] Speaker 1: score high right across the board. There's UNICEF data, So does.
[8:59] Speaker 2: That data and include like intergenerational family connections.
[9:03] Speaker 1: It's intergenerational, it's neighborhood at school, it's they're not an
[9:07] Speaker 1: overly religious although there's a lot of religion in the country,
[9:10] Speaker 1: but it's not a massively religious nation. But they're involved
[9:13] Speaker 1: in community, in sports and churches and you name it.
[9:17] Speaker 1: I just want to share some munieft data that I
[9:18] Speaker 1: dug up. Eighty one percent of Dutch fifteen year olds
[9:23] Speaker 1: said they could make friends easily. That's that's the high.
[9:28] Speaker 1: If it's not the highest, it's among the highest rates measured.
[9:30] Speaker 1: Eighty one percent is saying yeah, I make friends easy.
[9:32] Speaker 1: Like if you asked Australian kids how easy you make friends,
[9:34] Speaker 1: you're not getting an eighty one percent response right here,
[9:36] Speaker 1: So social relationships.
[9:38] Speaker 2: I think if you ask that same question of adults
[9:40] Speaker 2: in Australia.
[9:41] Speaker 1: Oh no way, yeah, you wouldn't get that absolutely. Here's
[9:43] Speaker 1: the second thing that came out of the data. Parents
[9:45] Speaker 1: are actually around and they're not staring at their stupid phones.
[9:49] Speaker 2: But do they have any social media bands or anything?
[9:52] Speaker 1: No, no, no they don't. But parents are around.
[9:55] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[9:55] Speaker 1: Right, So again this is the critical thing Dutch people,
[9:59] Speaker 1: and this is this is a community and social design
[10:01] Speaker 1: thing that we just don't have an Australia. Dutch people
[10:03] Speaker 1: work fewer hours per week than anywhere in Europe. It's
[10:06] Speaker 1: quite common for both mums and dads to work part time.
[10:10] Speaker 1: They have this thing called Pappa Dad it's Daddy Day,
[10:13] Speaker 1: and it's how would I describe it, It's just this
[10:17] Speaker 1: cultural reality. It's an institution. Dads take one week day
[10:22] Speaker 1: off with the kids every week and that's just life
[10:26] Speaker 1: by design. Like that's career typical. It's not a career
[10:31] Speaker 1: suicide situation. Like can you imagine everyone works a four
[10:34] Speaker 1: day week because there's not as much inequality in society,
[10:39] Speaker 1: Like everyone just does four day weeks. So mums are working,
[10:41] Speaker 1: dad's are working, but they're each doing four day weeks
[10:43] Speaker 1: and everyone's around. And so they've got that. Here's what
[10:47] Speaker 1: else they've got. They've got low bullying and they've got
[10:49] Speaker 1: no phones specifically, So Dutch schools are renowned for their
[10:53] Speaker 1: low bullying in the school, but schools in the Netherlands
[10:57] Speaker 1: have a blanket bound on smartphones. And it's also worth
[11:01] Speaker 1: highlighting school as opposed to Australia, in the US and
[11:03] Speaker 1: the UK really really low pressure, not competitive. It's just
[11:07] Speaker 1: about helping kids to enjoy being at school. And like
[11:10] Speaker 1: you said, they start a litt bit later. Oh you
[11:11] Speaker 1: know what else they do? You know what else they do,
[11:14] Speaker 1: Like they factor competence and independence into their lives. So
[11:16] Speaker 1: kids don't get drimnt to school from around about the
[11:19] Speaker 1: age of eight. They ride their bikes to school because
[11:24] Speaker 1: they've got the infrastructure over there. Number one, it's flat
[11:26] Speaker 1: number two, but the bike pathways and yeah, and they've
[11:31] Speaker 1: got low speed streets and that kind of thing. But
[11:34] Speaker 1: autonomy is what their philosophy is over there, Like they're
[11:37] Speaker 1: literally just we've built an environment that facilitates autonomy. We
[11:41] Speaker 1: can trust that our kids will be okay because the
[11:43] Speaker 1: environment adds protective layers to ensure that they'll be okay.
[11:48] Speaker 1: That's just amazing. I love it. We got to go there,
[11:50] Speaker 1: We've got to try it out.
[11:51] Speaker 2: Yeah, I think I could be packed up in a week.
[11:53] Speaker 1: Okay, we need to wrap this up. I want to
[11:56] Speaker 1: share the last couple of things that the data showed.
[11:58] Speaker 1: Eighty seven percent of Dutch fifteen year olds report being
[12:01] Speaker 1: satisfied with their lives. Wow, the highest of all forty
[12:05] Speaker 1: three countries measured. And it barely moved through COVID. So
[12:11] Speaker 1: in twenty eighteen it was ninety percent, it's dropped three percent.
[12:15] Speaker 2: Wow.
[12:16] Speaker 1: Like hello, I.
[12:18] Speaker 2: Don't think I want to know the answer to this,
[12:20] Speaker 2: but how did Australia do.
[12:22] Speaker 1: Australia wasn't ranked And I'll tell you why. Australia's own
[12:26] Speaker 1: State of Australia's Children Report was not included because we
[12:30] Speaker 1: didn't have enough data, Because we literally don't collect enough
[12:33] Speaker 1: data on our own kids to be ranked. UNICEF Australia
[12:37] Speaker 1: has said that the Thistraian government needs to do something
[12:39] Speaker 1: to address the data gaps, but we just don't do it. Britain,
[12:44] Speaker 1: they came twenty fourth, but Australia we're just not there,
[12:48] Speaker 1: like we don't have the data, and when we do
[12:52] Speaker 1: have the data, it's really bad. About one in six
[12:54] Speaker 1: astrain kids live below the national poverty line. Fifty three
[12:57] Speaker 1: percent of ten to seventeen's have experienced cyberball, seventy four
[13:00] Speaker 1: percent of encountered harmful content. I talked about that two
[13:03] Speaker 1: days ago when we were talking about Emmy and her
[13:04] Speaker 1: daughter seeing the violent video in the Tricky Question episode.
[13:09] Speaker 1: Last report card. In twenty twenty, we did have Australian
[13:12] Speaker 1: data and we were ranked thirty second of thirty eight
[13:14] Speaker 1: for child wellbeing overall. Yeah, well, so how do I
[13:19] Speaker 1: say it? We kind of we're not doing well. We
[13:22] Speaker 1: are not doing well at all.
[13:24] Speaker 2: So out of this beautiful happy story that Dutch children
[13:27] Speaker 2: are the happiest, what can we as parents do on
[13:32] Speaker 2: a practical level, knowing that we don't have the infrastructure
[13:36] Speaker 2: of the Dutch people, but we do have capacity to
[13:41] Speaker 2: make a difference in our children's lives.
[13:42] Speaker 1: Yeah, so this is the hard thing, right, because the
[13:44] Speaker 1: Netherlands doesn't produce happy children because Dutch parents are more enlightened.
[13:51] Speaker 1: It is producing happy children because the system is built
[13:56] Speaker 1: in such a way that no supports the fan Ye
[14:00] Speaker 1: vigial parent has to be that in life. Yeah, because
[14:02] Speaker 1: the system supports the family, The systems.
[14:06] Speaker 2: It is that that whole notion of it takes a village.
[14:08] Speaker 2: It literally takes the village.
[14:10] Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, and that is that is the data right there.
[14:13] Speaker 1: So what can we do well, We have to build
[14:15] Speaker 1: our village and we always talk about this and it's
[14:17] Speaker 1: really hard because we're in a society that doesn't facilitate
[14:19] Speaker 1: easy village building. We don't have the materials, often because
[14:23] Speaker 1: our street isn't friendly, or because we can't let the
[14:25] Speaker 1: kids go and do whatever they want. It's really really
[14:28] Speaker 1: hard work. The short answer is it's really hard work
[14:30] Speaker 1: and we as parents have got to find ways to
[14:32] Speaker 1: be creative and building that village. Anyway, that's our doctor's
[14:35] Speaker 1: desk episode. We hope you loved it. Keep the kids
[14:37] Speaker 1: off social media, build the village. That's what the research
[14:39] Speaker 1: is really saying. The Happy Families podcast is produced by
[14:42] Speaker 1: Justin Rulon from Bridge Media and Mimhammon's provides our additional
[14:46] Speaker 1: admin support. Hey, if you'd like more info to make
[14:48] Speaker 1: you found me happier, check out my books, especially the
[14:50] Speaker 1: brand new one Boys, Building Strong Young Men from the
[14:53] Speaker 1: Inside Out, and a whole lot more, all available at
[14:55] Speaker 1: the Happy Families dot com dot au. Tomorrow it's our
[14:59] Speaker 1: old do better time to morrow. Oh and next week
[15:02] Speaker 1: next week The Big Conversation Victorian kids are missing seven
[15:07] Speaker 1: million days of school a year. Is it okay to
[15:10] Speaker 1: take the kids out of school during school time? We'll
[15:13] Speaker 1: talk about that more on the Happy Families podcast. We'll
[15:15] Speaker 1: see that

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