# The Parenting Moments You Don’t Realise You’ll Miss Most

An episode of [Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1082244480), 28 May 2026, 13 min.

Audio: https://mgln.ai/e/187/traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/b69b2795-5503-4de1-ac91-af460017906e/3a10c316-200a-48d4-9167-b44e00c78c81/audio.mp3?utm_source=Podcast&in_playlist=a05f1702-0c0e-4b0f-8014-af460017907c

One day, it’s endless dishwashing games, kids fighting over who presses the crossing button, and carrying sleeping children from the car to bed. Then suddenly… it’s the last time. In this heartfelt Do Better Tomorrow episode, Justin and Kylie reflect on the “Last Time Meditation” — a powerful mindset shift that changes how we experience ordinary family moments before they disappear. From broken stoves and parenting under pressure to daughters growing up and leaving home, this episode is a moving reminder that the little things are often the big things. If you’ve ever wished parenting away during the hard seasons, this conversation might change the way you see your family life forever. KEY POINTS • Why parenting is more about our growth than our children’s behaviour • How “the right tools” make hard parenting seasons easier to navigate • The emotional power of the “Last Time Meditation” • Why ordinary family moments become the ones we miss most • How to be more present before life quietly changes QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “Sometimes you don’t realise it was the last time until long after the moment has passed.” RESOURCES MENTIONED • The “Last Time Meditation” from A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy by William B. Irvine ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS • Pause during ordinary moments and ask yourself: “What if this was the last time?” • Notice the family routines you usually rush through or resent • Focus less on controlling children and more on regulating yourself • Create small moments of connection, even on hard days • Let gratitude soften the frustration of parenting’s repetitive seasons See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

## Transcript

[0:06] Speaker 1: Every Friday on The Happy Family's podcast, It's all Do
[0:08] Speaker 1: Better Tomorrow. Years and years and years ago, when our
[0:10] Speaker 1: children were young, we bought a book called I'll do
[0:12] Speaker 1: Better Tomorrow, I Promise. It's a story about a mum
[0:15] Speaker 1: who is cataloging all of the challenges that her children,
[0:18] Speaker 1: or a child, her little boy, brought into her life
[0:20] Speaker 1: one by one. He shaved the dog, He turned the
[0:24] Speaker 1: garden inside out. He overfilled the bath and it flooded
[0:27] Speaker 1: the bathroom, and then dripped down through the upstairs, into
[0:29] Speaker 1: the downstairs, into the kitchen, cut his sister's hair, and
[0:32] Speaker 1: the list goes on and on and on and as
[0:34] Speaker 1: this mum is cataloging all the challenges that she faced
[0:37] Speaker 1: dealing with her son, that day, she made a commitment
[0:41] Speaker 1: and said, I'll do better tomorrow. I promise. I need
[0:43] Speaker 1: to be better because even though he's driving me crazy,
[0:46] Speaker 1: I need to not let him drive me crazy. We
[0:48] Speaker 1: fell in love with the book. We used to read
[0:49] Speaker 1: it to our kids all the time. It made us
[0:51] Speaker 1: cry when we would read it to them, and as
[0:52] Speaker 1: a result, Every Friday on The Happy Family's podcast, Kylie
[0:56] Speaker 1: and I share what's worked and what hasn't and how
[0:59] Speaker 1: We're committing to be better tomorrow so that we can
[1:01] Speaker 1: learn from all the parenting experiences that we have and
[1:04] Speaker 1: make our family happier. The idea is to give you
[1:07] Speaker 1: some inspose so that you can be better tomorrow as well.
[1:09] Speaker 1: And right after the break, both Kylie and I have
[1:12] Speaker 1: had some new practices, some new insights, some new epiphanies
[1:16] Speaker 1: about parenting this week. We can't wait to share them
[1:18] Speaker 1: with you. That's next. Hello, Welcome to the Happy Families
[1:23] Speaker 1: Podcast Friday edition. The Happy Families Podcast is Australia's most
[1:27] Speaker 1: downloaded parenting podcast, where you get fabulous parenting solutions, real
[1:31] Speaker 1: parenting solutions every single day. I'm justin you're Kylie. We've
[1:36] Speaker 1: got six kids, I've written eleven books. My boys book
[1:38] Speaker 1: comes out in just over two weeks, Oh my goodness.
[1:40] Speaker 1: And I've also got some other news for you. I
[1:42] Speaker 1: don't know if you're aware of this, and I know
[1:43] Speaker 1: that you're aware of it, but I'm not sure if
[1:44] Speaker 1: you've done the maths on this. Our second daughter gets
[1:47] Speaker 1: married in four weeks. Today, we're down to four weeks.
[1:50] Speaker 1: Can you believe it?
[1:51] Speaker 2: Well, she's been counting down. I just hadn't worked out
[1:54] Speaker 2: the weeks, Yes, week, four weeks.
[1:56] Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, it's so exciting. She'll be moving out
[1:59] Speaker 1: of that bedroom.
[2:03] Speaker 2: The things I'm looking forward to, having a bit more
[2:06] Speaker 2: space in the storage covered that I am doing.
[2:09] Speaker 1: I shouldn't laugh. We're going to miss us so much.
[2:11] Speaker 1: She's going to be living like two hours away, and
[2:13] Speaker 1: we're probably to see it once a week onto fortnite.
[2:16] Speaker 2: It's oh, you're hilarious. It won't be once a week.
[2:18] Speaker 2: I can promise you that.
[2:19] Speaker 1: You don't think so. No, my heart's breaking even more
[2:22] Speaker 1: now that you have said that that four weeks. We
[2:24] Speaker 1: need to soak it up. Okay, Kylie, you're up first today.
[2:28] Speaker 2: Well, I have to stop you before we even go anywhere.
[2:31] Speaker 2: You missed the whole point of our favorite book.
[2:33] Speaker 1: What was the whole point of our favorite book?
[2:35] Speaker 2: You have a little saying. You talk about the fact
[2:37] Speaker 2: that parenting is about us as parents, not our children.
[2:41] Speaker 1: We call it Childreldren.
[2:42] Speaker 2: And the thing that I love about this book is
[2:45] Speaker 2: she's actually cataloging all of these things that have gone
[2:49] Speaker 2: on in her day as she says a prayer at
[2:51] Speaker 2: her child's bedside. He's pretending to be asleep because he
[2:54] Speaker 2: realizes he's done some really naughty things throughout the day,
[2:57] Speaker 2: and he's ready to say sorry to her, and it's
[3:00] Speaker 2: in that moment that she recognizes that it's not his problem,
[3:04] Speaker 2: it's hers. And that's what I love about the story.
[3:07] Speaker 2: It's this idea that our kids give us all of
[3:10] Speaker 2: the stimulus to make us go crazy, or they helped
[3:13] Speaker 2: change us to be better people as we learn more patience.
[3:17] Speaker 1: Regulate, and be forbearing. And yeah, that's what I love
[3:20] Speaker 1: about the book. Well, we love that book. Anyway, You're
[3:23] Speaker 1: oddly better tomorrow if we may press on.
[3:26] Speaker 2: Well, it's actually another little epiphany, just like that. It's
[3:29] Speaker 2: not necessarily an experience. But during the week our stove died. Yes,
[3:36] Speaker 2: we've known that it's been on the brink for a
[3:38] Speaker 2: little while. We had breakfast, everything went perfectly, but when
[3:42] Speaker 2: I came, I was actually it was meal prepping day
[3:45] Speaker 2: and I had cut all of the vegetables to make
[3:47] Speaker 2: three different meals, and.
[3:48] Speaker 1: Thist went from on the brink to on the blink.
[3:51] Speaker 1: It died, and it.
[3:53] Speaker 2: Died, and so I was, what are we going to do?
[3:55] Speaker 2: So we had takeaway that night and then the next day.
[3:58] Speaker 1: Sorry, I've got to just jump in here. It's a
[4:00] Speaker 1: real pain when this happens because number one, cost of
[4:03] Speaker 1: living crisis. Everything's costing more than ever before. But also
[4:06] Speaker 1: in the middle of interest rates and rent and whatever
[4:09] Speaker 1: else that everyone's struggling with. Then you've got to start
[4:12] Speaker 1: buying more food from outside because you don't have anything
[4:16] Speaker 1: to cook on at home. It's expensive. And then you've
[4:18] Speaker 1: got to wait to find a stove. You got to
[4:20] Speaker 1: find the right size. Youve got to get electrician who
[4:21] Speaker 1: can come in and short notice and fix it all up.
[4:23] Speaker 1: Like the unexpected expense and the inconvenience factor is off
[4:28] Speaker 1: the charts.
[4:28] Speaker 2: We have a barbecue, we have a stove, and there
[4:30] Speaker 2: are things that I could cook, but I still needed
[4:32] Speaker 2: the stove to help me with some of.
[4:33] Speaker 1: It, yeah, most of it. Yeah.
[4:36] Speaker 2: And so I ended up at our eldest daughter's house
[4:39] Speaker 2: the next day and I was babysitting our grand baby,
[4:42] Speaker 2: and I said to our daughter, I'll just come over.
[4:46] Speaker 2: I'll bring my food and I'll do a couple of
[4:47] Speaker 2: meals so that we've got something until the electrician can
[4:51] Speaker 2: come and fix our stove. But you know what it's
[4:55] Speaker 2: like when you're in somebody else's kitchen, and nothing's where
[4:58] Speaker 2: you think it should be because they've got to different system,
[5:01] Speaker 2: and no matter how I did things, it just didn't
[5:05] Speaker 2: feel right, like it just nothing fell into place the
[5:08] Speaker 2: way it would if I was just at home, kind
[5:10] Speaker 2: of almost going on autopilot because I know everything is
[5:14] Speaker 2: And it just got me thinking about how having the
[5:17] Speaker 2: right tools and our toolkit make all the difference. When
[5:20] Speaker 2: we're in our own space and we know the parameters
[5:23] Speaker 2: that we're working with, or we've got the literally the
[5:27] Speaker 2: right instruments in the right place to help us, things
[5:31] Speaker 2: go so much more smoothly. It doesn't mean that dinner
[5:34] Speaker 2: cooks itself, because it doesn't. I've still got to do
[5:36] Speaker 2: the work, but there's so much more ease in that
[5:40] Speaker 2: as I do it. And if I can relate that
[5:43] Speaker 2: to parenting, sometimes we experience these challenges that we're just
[5:47] Speaker 2: in deep water. We have no idea how to get
[5:50] Speaker 2: out of them. But if we have done the work
[5:54] Speaker 2: and we've prepared ourselves as just being good human beings
[5:58] Speaker 2: and being a ten and aware of our children and
[6:03] Speaker 2: their needs, we will have the right tools in our
[6:06] Speaker 2: toolkit to help us. It doesn't mean those problems disappear,
[6:09] Speaker 2: they're always going to be there, but we have a
[6:12] Speaker 2: better capacity to navigate those challenging waters because the tools
[6:17] Speaker 2: are already there.
[6:20] Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, nice insight. Hey, after the break, I've been reflecting.
[6:24] Speaker 1: We lost a friend some years ago at the age
[6:27] Speaker 1: of fifty. He unexpectedly passed away just while he was
[6:30] Speaker 1: having a meal with his family. He stood up, family
[6:33] Speaker 1: and friends, stood up, went to the bathroom and didn't
[6:35] Speaker 1: quite make it and died unexpectedly. I've been reflecting on
[6:38] Speaker 1: that this week, and I came across some research about
[6:41] Speaker 1: a it's called the Last Time meditation, And as I've
[6:46] Speaker 1: reflected on that this week, that informs my old do
[6:48] Speaker 1: better tomorrow. I'll tell you more about that right after
[6:51] Speaker 1: this we're back. It's Happy for podcast. If you enjoy
[7:01] Speaker 1: the pod, please share it with the friend. Hopefully it'll
[7:03] Speaker 1: help their family be happier, like it helps your family
[7:06] Speaker 1: be happier, Kylie. Some years ago we lost friend Rob.
[7:09] Speaker 1: He unexpectedly passed away, had a heart attack at the
[7:11] Speaker 1: age of fifty, literally still went to the bathroom, didn't
[7:14] Speaker 1: quite make it to the bathroom, just fell over and
[7:17] Speaker 1: in the hallway he lost his life. His heart gave out,
[7:21] Speaker 1: And I was thinking about that. I've thought about it
[7:23] Speaker 1: a lot over the years, because it was some years
[7:24] Speaker 1: ago now, just he was sitting at that meal, and
[7:27] Speaker 1: he never realized that was the last smile that he'd
[7:30] Speaker 1: give to his wife, as he said, to be back
[7:31] Speaker 1: in a sec or the last time he hugged his wife,
[7:34] Speaker 1: or the last time he spoke to the kids, those
[7:38] Speaker 1: last times. We never quite know when it's going to be.
[7:42] Speaker 1: I'm getting a bit weepeach thinking about it. There's a
[7:44] Speaker 1: philosophy professor by the name of Bill Irvine, William b Irvine,
[7:48] Speaker 1: and he said this, and it's a direct quote. He said,
[7:50] Speaker 1: when you're doing something, you should reflect on the possibility
[7:53] Speaker 1: that this might be the last time you do it.
[7:56] Speaker 1: And I know that's in some ways it's a really
[7:58] Speaker 1: morbid and terrifying thought. Some people might think, I don't
[8:01] Speaker 1: want to imagine this is the last time I'm doing it.
[8:03] Speaker 1: Why would I do that? But there's something quite magic
[8:06] Speaker 1: that happens when you do, Because when you give your
[8:10] Speaker 1: daughter a hug in the kitchen, or when you smile
[8:13] Speaker 1: and give one of your other kids a high five
[8:16] Speaker 1: as they walk past you, if you pause and think
[8:20] Speaker 1: this could be the last time that I ever get
[8:21] Speaker 1: to do this, you give it more, you take more
[8:25] Speaker 1: from it. It becomes more meaningful, it becomes really special.
[8:29] Speaker 1: And the last time meditation is what Bill Irvine calls it,
[8:35] Speaker 1: just thinking. There is a last time that we've done
[8:39] Speaker 1: a whole lot of things with our kids. There is
[8:42] Speaker 1: a last time that you take your sleeping child out
[8:44] Speaker 1: of the car and carry them to bed. And I
[8:47] Speaker 1: know this because a couple of weeks ago, we got
[8:49] Speaker 1: home really really late. I can't believe I'm confessing with
[8:53] Speaker 1: this on the podcast, but I'm really really late. We
[8:56] Speaker 1: were exhausted, and I forgot that Emily of your old
[9:00] Speaker 1: had fallen asleep in the back of the car as
[9:02] Speaker 1: we drove home. And I got out of the car
[9:04] Speaker 1: and went to bed, and you got out of the
[9:05] Speaker 1: car and went to bed. And she woke up, apparently
[9:09] Speaker 1: at about one o'clock in the morning, cold and uncomfortable
[9:12] Speaker 1: in the car, and she just put us off to bed.
[9:16] Speaker 2: But the front door was locked, so she had to
[9:18] Speaker 2: look around. The fight was one of the kids.
[9:21] Speaker 1: Hadn't locked front of the doors. We shouldn't have let
[9:22] Speaker 1: her loudly, and she managed to get herself into their house.
[9:26] Speaker 1: Oh my goodness. But I was thinking about that and
[9:29] Speaker 1: it occurred to me, I'm probably never going to carry
[9:32] Speaker 1: one of my children to bed ever again if they
[9:34] Speaker 1: fall asleep in the car, including even if I'm aware
[9:37] Speaker 1: of it, because they're too big and too heavy. And
[9:40] Speaker 1: there's there's I lifted our granddaughter Indy up onto my
[9:43] Speaker 1: shoulders the other day so that I could carry her somewhere,
[9:46] Speaker 1: and I thought, it's great to do this with my granddaughter.
[9:49] Speaker 1: This is really special. But I haven't done this with
[9:52] Speaker 1: any of our kids for a long time. The last
[9:53] Speaker 1: time that I ever carry one of my children on
[9:56] Speaker 1: my shoulders or on a piggyback has probably now occurred.
[10:00] Speaker 1: There's a last time that you have to say, kids,
[10:04] Speaker 1: stop fighting over who pushes the button across the road.
[10:08] Speaker 2: I was about to say as you were talking, and
[10:10] Speaker 2: you were acknowledging, you know, thinking about this is the
[10:13] Speaker 2: last time I might hug my child or give them
[10:15] Speaker 2: a high five, or These are all really beautiful things, right,
[10:18] Speaker 2: They don't require much from us because they're good moments anyway.
[10:23] Speaker 2: But there are so many moments in parenting where you're like,
[10:26] Speaker 2: I can't wait till this is over. I can't wait
[10:28] Speaker 2: till I get through this space or this timeframe like
[10:32] Speaker 2: toilet training or teething or whatever it is. But there
[10:36] Speaker 2: will come a time where you'll look back and recognize
[10:40] Speaker 2: just the immense, profoundness of those moments.
[10:43] Speaker 1: Yeah, the immensity.
[10:44] Speaker 2: Yeah, you mentioned at the beginning of the podcast. In
[10:47] Speaker 2: four weeks, we'll say goodbye to our second daughter.
[10:50] Speaker 1: That's where I was about to go.
[10:51] Speaker 2: Yeah, and they thought that she's not going to wake
[10:54] Speaker 2: up in her bed in our house ever again. Yeah.
[10:58] Speaker 1: Yeah, we do this. It annoys me sometimes I don't
[11:01] Speaker 1: have the energy for it at night. But when we're
[11:02] Speaker 1: doing all in and we're all in the kitchen cleaning
[11:04] Speaker 1: up the dishes, they play this game we've talked about
[11:06] Speaker 1: on the podcast before. They've called it word association. Basically,
[11:10] Speaker 1: you come up with a theme, a word, and everyone
[11:14] Speaker 1: takes it in turns going around the group. You've got
[11:17] Speaker 1: to start singing a song that uses that word, and
[11:19] Speaker 1: then the next person starts singing a different song and
[11:21] Speaker 1: that's their turn, and then you keep going until everybody
[11:24] Speaker 1: is out, until people can't come up with it anymore.
[11:26] Speaker 1: And there are some lights where I'm like, I don't
[11:27] Speaker 1: have the energy for this. I don't want to do this,
[11:30] Speaker 1: but she's not home as often anymore, and we don't
[11:34] Speaker 1: play word association that much anymore, and it's not the
[11:38] Speaker 1: same when she's not here either. She's the most enthusiastic
[11:41] Speaker 1: proponent of it. And I don't know if it's the
[11:44] Speaker 1: last time, but we're certainly down to the last handful
[11:47] Speaker 1: of times that we're probably going to have word association
[11:51] Speaker 1: dishwashing activities in the kitchen. That Last Time meditation, it
[11:56] Speaker 1: brings a richness to our experiences, and at the risk
[12:03] Speaker 1: of getting weepy, you just don't know what tomorrow brings,
[12:08] Speaker 1: and if you want to really flourish have a profound
[12:11] Speaker 1: and rich life, I think that that last time meditation
[12:14] Speaker 1: that Bill Irvine developed and annunciated is a way to
[12:21] Speaker 1: help you to do better tomorrow. So that's it. That's
[12:25] Speaker 1: our oddly better tomorrow today. Thanks so much for listening
[12:27] Speaker 1: to the Happy Families podcast. Have a great weekend, Have
[12:30] Speaker 1: a fantastic weekend. I was going to say, because it
[12:33] Speaker 1: might be the last one you have, but that's a
[12:34] Speaker 1: really more good way to finish the podcast. I say,
[12:37] Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, we love that you listen, and we
[12:40] Speaker 1: hope you get something out of it. The Happy Family's
[12:42] Speaker 1: podcast is produced by Justin Roland from Bridge Media. Mim
[12:45] Speaker 1: Hammonds provides our admin and other support. For more information
[12:48] Speaker 1: about making your family happier, visit Happy families dot com
[12:51] Speaker 1: dot you Don't Forget. As well, you can get a
[12:52] Speaker 1: ten dollar discount at booktopia dot com dot you for
[12:55] Speaker 1: the brand new book Boys by Me. If you've got
[12:58] Speaker 1: a son and you're looking for some answers, I think
[13:00] Speaker 1: you'll get heaps out of it. Comes out in a
[13:01] Speaker 1: couple of weeks of pre order now mm hmm.

Shows are listed from Apple Podcasts' charts and directory, and Podcast Index where it is used. Every show and episode belongs to its publisher and plays from the publisher's own feed; this site hosts none of them.