# Can Parent-Teacher Relationships Make or Break a School Year?

An episode of [Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1082244480), 26 Jan 2026, 15 min.

Audio: https://mgln.ai/e/187/traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/b69b2795-5503-4de1-ac91-af460017906e/57836e0d-7f31-41e4-a2f3-b3d200b8cae3/audio.mp3?utm_source=Podcast&in_playlist=a05f1702-0c0e-4b0f-8014-af460017907c

The first weeks back at school can make or break your child’s year — but what most parents miss is that the relationship you build with their teacher is the secret lever that shifts everything. In this episode, Justin and Kylie unpack the surprising stats behind teacher burnout, why parent behaviour matters more than we think, and three game-changing ways to build a relationship with teachers that actually helps your child succeed — even if you’ve had rough years before. KEY POINTS: • The hidden stress teachers face — and why it impacts your child • Why yelling, demanding, and “fix my kid” approaches backfire • The Parent Advantage: how small acts of service earn trust fast • Gratitude as rocket fuel for teacher morale (done without bribery!) • Don’t believe everything your child says — context matters • How to assume positive intent and extend grace in tough moments QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: “Teachers are usually on your child’s side. They want to see your child succeed and win.” RESOURCES MENTIONED: • Happy Families Schools • Parent/Teacher Support Workshops ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: • Volunteer for something — reading, excursions, laminating, anything. • Send gratitude early — a note, tiny gift, or simple “I see you.” • Acknowledge wins — when your child shares something positive, pass it on. • Hold stories lightly — get context before reacting. • Assume positive intent — teachers want your child to do well. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

## Transcript

[0:05] Speaker 1: Hello, Welcome to the Happy Families Podcast. Most households around
[0:09] Speaker 1: the country right now are getting ready for school for
[0:11] Speaker 1: the first time this year. Oh my goodness, this is
[0:14] Speaker 1: a big day, the first day of school. How are
[0:16] Speaker 1: you feeling about it? How are you going to set
[0:18] Speaker 1: things up so that this can be a good school year?
[0:21] Speaker 1: Today on the pod, we thought we would approach this
[0:23] Speaker 1: a little differently. Today we're looking at how to create
[0:26] Speaker 1: a great relationship with your child's or your children's teachers,
[0:31] Speaker 1: because the quality of that relationship, the way that that
[0:34] Speaker 1: teacher looks at your child each day, can really have
[0:37] Speaker 1: a big impact on the way that the year is
[0:38] Speaker 1: going to go. Today on the pod, we talk about
[0:41] Speaker 1: one major problem that we have in this domain, creating
[0:45] Speaker 1: that great relationship with teachers, and three of the very
[0:48] Speaker 1: best ideas that we've come up with to help you
[0:51] Speaker 1: to get things absolutely nailed stacked. We're going to spill
[0:55] Speaker 1: the tea right after this. Stay with us. Hey, Welcome
[1:00] Speaker 1: to the Happy Families podcast, where you get real parenting
[1:02] Speaker 1: solutions every single day. This is Australia's most downloaded parenting podcast.
[1:05] Speaker 1: We ad Justin and Kylie Colson with the parents of
[1:07] Speaker 1: six kids We've been through day one more than sixty
[1:10] Speaker 1: times without six children so far. We've got more day
[1:13] Speaker 1: ones to come. We've got one really making.
[1:15] Speaker 2: Me feel old right now.
[1:17] Speaker 1: I kind of I didn't bit of a flashback the
[1:19] Speaker 1: other day and I had this experience not at all
[1:23] Speaker 1: related to what we're talking about today, but it really
[1:25] Speaker 1: shook me. And it really shook me. That's the wrong word.
[1:27] Speaker 1: It made me cry. I was sitting there and I
[1:30] Speaker 1: was reflecting on all of the experiences. I kind of
[1:32] Speaker 1: had this flashback, like my life passed before my eyes,
[1:36] Speaker 1: sitting in this place with our kids, then going to
[1:38] Speaker 1: this place and watching the progression as they got older,
[1:40] Speaker 1: and going from one child to two children to three children,
[1:43] Speaker 1: walking in the school gate saying farewell again and again.
[1:47] Speaker 1: And now I mean doing a number five. Grade eleven,
[1:50] Speaker 1: taught a number four, finished year twelve last year. Our
[1:53] Speaker 1: sixth daughter is homeschooling, so we've already started school for her.
[1:56] Speaker 1: We just figured we're at home and you're starting to
[1:59] Speaker 1: complain that you're broad, let's do some school. So she's
[2:01] Speaker 1: started grade six this year already. But today is day
[2:04] Speaker 1: one for so many families around the country. There are
[2:06] Speaker 1: still a few areas that will head back to school,
[2:08] Speaker 1: but it's pretty much kicking off today and Kylie the
[2:12] Speaker 1: question that we need to talk about. And I'm really
[2:14] Speaker 1: putting a lot of this on you for this podcast
[2:17] Speaker 1: episode because you've been at the cold face. I talk
[2:20] Speaker 1: to teachers every single day, but you're the one who
[2:22] Speaker 1: has dealt with stuff that's personal that's about our kids.
[2:26] Speaker 1: So it's about the relationship that our child has with
[2:28] Speaker 1: the teacher and that we have with the teacher. Today
[2:30] Speaker 1: we're answering the question how do you build a strong
[2:33] Speaker 1: relationship with your child's teacher? First thoughts.
[2:38] Speaker 2: As you were talking about I was just kind of
[2:39] Speaker 2: thinking back on some of the experiences we've had, and
[2:43] Speaker 2: the most memorable years that have stood out to me
[2:46] Speaker 2: are the ones where I've had that great working relationship
[2:50] Speaker 2: with teachers.
[2:51] Speaker 1: How good is it when you see the teacher and
[2:53] Speaker 1: they smile at you and they recognize you, and their
[2:55] Speaker 1: eyes light up and your eyes light up, and you're like, oh,
[2:56] Speaker 1: it's so good to see you, as opposed to.
[2:58] Speaker 2: Or I've been dying to see I really just wanted
[3:00] Speaker 2: to tell you what Johnny's been up to this week,
[3:02] Speaker 2: Like we had this massive win in the classroom, you
[3:05] Speaker 2: know the challenges. I don't feel like the system is
[3:08] Speaker 2: set up to support either one, and that's challenging. We've
[3:12] Speaker 2: got teachers who really want to spend time with you,
[3:14] Speaker 2: but they're locked into minute by minute timetabling.
[3:18] Speaker 1: So you show up at a parent teacher to night
[3:20] Speaker 1: and how many minutes do you get, like five or
[3:22] Speaker 1: ten minutes with a.
[3:23] Speaker 2: Teacher depending on the school, between ten and fifteen minutes.
[3:26] Speaker 2: But when you're talking about six months worth.
[3:28] Speaker 1: Of school work, it's pretty intense, especially if you've.
[3:32] Speaker 2: Got a challenge that you want to address. Fifteen minutes
[3:36] Speaker 2: goes away in the blink of an eye.
[3:37] Speaker 1: So something that comes up for me all the time
[3:39] Speaker 1: when I'm doing professional development with staff is a lot
[3:43] Speaker 1: of stuff. Honestly, they don't like parents education stuff. This
[3:47] Speaker 1: is the thing that you're not supposed to say, and
[3:49] Speaker 1: I'm saying it, but a lot of teachers really don't
[3:51] Speaker 1: like parents there, and I think that they're concern around
[3:54] Speaker 1: parents is kind of justified. So I did a little
[3:56] Speaker 1: bit of digging into some stats. Haven't gone through this
[3:58] Speaker 1: with you, but I've pulled some stats out for this,
[4:00] Speaker 1: and this is why today's conversation matters so much. Getting
[4:02] Speaker 1: that relationship with your your child's teacher right matters because
[4:06] Speaker 1: this is one of the biggest stress points for teachers.
[4:10] Speaker 1: It's one of the most popular reasons they give for
[4:13] Speaker 1: wanting to get out of the profession. Other than the
[4:16] Speaker 1: behavior of students, it's the behavior of parents not having
[4:20] Speaker 1: good relationships with them. They just want to teach. Like
[4:22] Speaker 1: you said, they just want the parents to parent, They
[4:24] Speaker 1: want the teachers to teach, and that would work really well.
[4:27] Speaker 1: Here are the stats. Eighty four and a half percent
[4:30] Speaker 1: eighty four point five percent of teachers reported experiencing some
[4:34] Speaker 1: form of student or parent enacted bullying in a nine
[4:38] Speaker 1: to twelve month period. That was a twenty twenty study
[4:40] Speaker 1: of twelve hundred teachers here in Australia. Sixty this is
[4:43] Speaker 1: Latrobe University study. Sixty percent of teachers experienced parent led bullying,
[4:49] Speaker 1: seventy percent experienced student led bullying. Sixty five point two
[4:52] Speaker 1: percent of teachers who experienced bullying had considered leaving the profession. Now,
[4:56] Speaker 1: there's one other thing that I want to go through
[4:57] Speaker 1: here in terms of stats, and then we'll talk about
[4:59] Speaker 1: how to make sure this doesn't happen. Fifteen zero point
[5:02] Speaker 1: two percent of teachers have been verbally disparaged by parents.
[5:06] Speaker 1: That is that the parents are getting stuck into them
[5:08] Speaker 1: and saying horrible things to them to their face, just
[5:09] Speaker 1: being really, really horrible. Teachers report being yelled at, sworn at,
[5:13] Speaker 1: and even hit by parents, parents threatening teachers, And I
[5:19] Speaker 1: could go through a whole lot more stats, but I
[5:21] Speaker 1: don't think that I need to. I mean, I feel
[5:24] Speaker 1: quite uncomfortable, even a little bit ick. No, not a
[5:28] Speaker 1: little bit. I feel actually ill when I think about
[5:32] Speaker 1: a parent going into school and responding. And I want
[5:34] Speaker 1: to be sympathetic to parents who are dealing with some
[5:36] Speaker 1: really significant stresses and feeling extraordinarily frustrated because of the
[5:40] Speaker 1: challenge they've got at home, the challenges they've got with
[5:42] Speaker 1: their child, and now the teacher is on their case,
[5:45] Speaker 1: or the teacher is not understanding their child or not
[5:46] Speaker 1: listening to the directives or not, or they.
[5:48] Speaker 2: Just don't feel like their child's needs are being met.
[5:51] Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, we've got this. We've got this learning plan,
[5:53] Speaker 1: this personalized development plan for the student, and it's not
[5:57] Speaker 1: following so it's complicated. But I want to get onto
[6:01] Speaker 1: the front foot and hit a positive note today I
[6:03] Speaker 1: just wanted to flag that those difficulties exist and it
[6:07] Speaker 1: is complex. But my goodness, parents, if you want to
[6:10] Speaker 1: have a good relationship with your child's teacher, no matter
[6:13] Speaker 1: how badly it feels like it's going yelling at them,
[6:16] Speaker 1: swearing at them, calling them names, or being physical with them,
[6:19] Speaker 1: it's not going to be good for the relationship. It's
[6:21] Speaker 1: not going to be good for you or for your child.
[6:23] Speaker 1: Don't do it. Find better solutions. Oh, I guess what.
[6:25] Speaker 1: We've got three of them right now.
[6:26] Speaker 2: When it comes to building a good relationship, it doesn't
[6:28] Speaker 2: matter what relationship it is. It takes time. Like a yeah,
[6:33] Speaker 2: it takes time and face to face time. So we've
[6:37] Speaker 2: just acknowledged that there are significant challenges that get in
[6:39] Speaker 2: the way from time to and teachers don't necessarily want
[6:44] Speaker 2: that face to face time. And they've got up to
[6:47] Speaker 2: thirty families that everyone's are wanting face to face time, right,
[6:53] Speaker 2: everybody wants.
[6:54] Speaker 1: A little chunk of those everyone's hands up.
[6:56] Speaker 2: But if it's important for you to have a good
[7:00] Speaker 2: relationship with your teacher, anytime, anytime there's an opportunity to
[7:05] Speaker 2: be face to face in the classroom, whether that be volunteering,
[7:08] Speaker 2: for reading or helping out with excursions, maybe offer to
[7:12] Speaker 2: be of assistance if there's extra cutting out or laminating
[7:16] Speaker 2: or I.
[7:16] Speaker 1: Remember that s ticking on the wall. You contacted, You
[7:20] Speaker 1: went to the school and said kind of help, and
[7:22] Speaker 1: you ended up working in the library.
[7:24] Speaker 2: I think I contacted I don't know, five thousand books,
[7:27] Speaker 2: fifty books, just putting the contact on the covers to
[7:30] Speaker 2: protect the books.
[7:31] Speaker 1: But all of a sudden when and not every parent
[7:34] Speaker 1: can do that, but all of a sudden, when you
[7:36] Speaker 1: are stepping into the school environment saying I'm here to help,
[7:39] Speaker 1: and if the school takes advantage of that, then you
[7:42] Speaker 1: do develop the relationships. You do get that time. You
[7:46] Speaker 1: get the time, so people get to see you as
[7:49] Speaker 1: somebody who wants to contribute to the community. People like
[7:51] Speaker 1: you when you can contribute as opposed to drop the
[7:53] Speaker 1: kids off at the gate and walk away.
[7:55] Speaker 2: But you're also friend of mine as well. Like when
[7:58] Speaker 2: there is a classroom of thirty students, if everybody's clamoring
[8:04] Speaker 2: for assistance and help, you just get lost in the
[8:09] Speaker 2: maze of people.
[8:11] Speaker 1: Right, But the teacher will gravitate to the person that
[8:12] Speaker 1: they know that he has been helpful. Track record with yeah.
[8:15] Speaker 2: Yeah. So I have a friend and every year without fail,
[8:18] Speaker 2: she meets up with the teacher and she's like, I'd
[8:19] Speaker 2: love to volunteer to be like the parent mum for
[8:22] Speaker 2: the classroom.
[8:23] Speaker 1: And everyone right now is wronging. Their eyes are going no, no,
[8:26] Speaker 1: I'm not doing it.
[8:27] Speaker 2: And she's the mum who sends a letter out to
[8:29] Speaker 2: everybody and says, hey, I'd love to have some catch ups,
[8:31] Speaker 2: so we can, you know, kind of organize some playdates
[8:33] Speaker 2: with the kids. Here's the time we'll have coffee. And
[8:38] Speaker 2: it works because it means that her relationship with the
[8:40] Speaker 2: teacher is fantastic.
[8:41] Speaker 1: So finding a way to contribute, finding a way to volunteer,
[8:44] Speaker 1: finding a way to get some FaceTime in a helpful
[8:48] Speaker 1: capacity and a service capacity as opposed to her I
[8:50] Speaker 1: want a piece of you as a teacher capacity is
[8:53] Speaker 1: your first solution, and I think I think it's the
[8:55] Speaker 1: best one by far. But after the break, we have
[8:58] Speaker 1: two more that are I think bed set game changes
[9:02] Speaker 1: and we're going to share those with you. Stay with us.
[9:12] Speaker 1: We're back. This is the Happy Families podcast. All right, Kylie,
[9:15] Speaker 1: I am a huge fan of gratitude. You reckon that
[9:18] Speaker 1: gratitude is a sure fire way to make a difference
[9:22] Speaker 1: when it comes to the relationship that you have with
[9:25] Speaker 1: your students, your child's teacher.
[9:27] Speaker 2: Please explain so ebbs and flows in life. There have
[9:32] Speaker 2: been times where I have been onto this big time
[9:35] Speaker 2: and other times where it has slipped by the radar.
[9:37] Speaker 2: But one of the things that I love doing is
[9:39] Speaker 2: at the beginning of the year just putting together a
[9:42] Speaker 2: small hope this year is great package for the teacher.
[9:46] Speaker 2: It could be as simple as a coffee voucher and
[9:50] Speaker 2: just a small note to express that, but it could
[9:53] Speaker 2: be a few classroom supplies that you have put together
[9:56] Speaker 2: nicely and just acknowledged that you're really excited for them
[10:00] Speaker 2: to be your child's teacher and getting to know them
[10:02] Speaker 2: better throughout the year.
[10:03] Speaker 1: So something that you did at Christmas was dropped off
[10:06] Speaker 1: some coffee vouchers to our year ten daughters' teachers, and
[10:09] Speaker 1: some of them had literally never received any kind of
[10:12] Speaker 1: a gift at all, Like the old blown away.
[10:13] Speaker 2: That blew me away, that absolutely blew me away.
[10:16] Speaker 1: I mean, this does sound like bribery, honestly, as I'm
[10:18] Speaker 1: missing that does sound like in frying to sleep talk
[10:21] Speaker 1: the teachers.
[10:22] Speaker 2: You know, you know I was a kid. I vividly
[10:26] Speaker 2: remember going and picking flowers from the garden and they
[10:31] Speaker 2: probably were weeds for all I remember, but my mum
[10:35] Speaker 2: would lovingly put them, you know, some little kind of
[10:38] Speaker 2: wet tissue around the stems, and then I'd wrap it
[10:41] Speaker 2: up with alfoyl and put a little bowl on it
[10:43] Speaker 2: and take it off to school. And I just loved
[10:45] Speaker 2: as a small child, I loved seeing the smile on
[10:49] Speaker 2: my teacher's face when I would give her something. And
[10:53] Speaker 2: I think anybody appreciates being appreciated and thought of, even
[10:58] Speaker 2: if it's just I hope you have a great day today.
[11:00] Speaker 1: So as you're saying that I wanted.
[11:02] Speaker 2: You, I don't think it's bribery. I really don't.
[11:04] Speaker 1: Well, I just want to add something that takes it
[11:06] Speaker 1: away from bribery, and that is every now and again,
[11:09] Speaker 1: the kids come home and they tell you something awesome
[11:10] Speaker 1: that happened at school, and teachers are often a part
[11:13] Speaker 1: of that awesomeness and what it would look like in
[11:17] Speaker 1: the teacher's mind if your child goes to school tomorrow
[11:20] Speaker 1: with a little note that says, yesterday, Ella came home
[11:24] Speaker 1: from school and told me about this. I just wanted
[11:27] Speaker 1: to recognize the part that you would have played in
[11:30] Speaker 1: that and thank you for having your eyes on the
[11:34] Speaker 1: stuff that matters most. Like, I mean, I'm making this
[11:37] Speaker 1: up here, right, but imagine if you sent two or
[11:40] Speaker 1: three of those letters through a school year. Doesn't have
[11:42] Speaker 1: to be on day one, it might not be until
[11:44] Speaker 1: week seven or something like that. But when you do that,
[11:48] Speaker 1: you're not asking anything of the teacher. You're just saying
[11:51] Speaker 1: I value you, and that's got to be good for
[11:53] Speaker 1: the relationship, right. I see you, I hear you, I
[11:56] Speaker 1: connect with you, I get what you're doing, and I
[11:59] Speaker 1: appreciate you so much much. So that's that's my extension
[12:02] Speaker 1: of it. And that's a little bit less bribe, be right.
[12:03] Speaker 1: That's not sucking up. That's just actually saying because because
[12:06] Speaker 1: as a parent, if you ever get a phone call
[12:08] Speaker 1: from the teacher and they're not saying something bad, they're
[12:11] Speaker 1: actually ringing to say, your child did really well. I
[12:13] Speaker 1: just wanted to tell you how much we appreciate your student. Now,
[12:15] Speaker 1: most parents have not had that happen, but we've had
[12:18] Speaker 1: that happen once or twice, and oh my goodness, you
[12:20] Speaker 1: just you kind of look at that teacher and go
[12:23] Speaker 1: we love you, and I think it works both ways.
[12:26] Speaker 2: I have two really quick ones that just came to mind.
[12:28] Speaker 1: We didn't talk about that planning. Sure, go for it.
[12:32] Speaker 2: Don't believe everything you hear.
[12:34] Speaker 1: From your child from all anybody else.
[12:37] Speaker 2: Well, okay, your experience is your experience. Your child's experience
[12:40] Speaker 2: is their experience, and other families will have their experience.
[12:43] Speaker 2: There was one time where I was devastated by the
[12:47] Speaker 2: teacher choice that one of our children was given.
[12:49] Speaker 1: And yeah, because everybody said this teacher blah blah blah.
[12:52] Speaker 2: That's exactly right. But I decided to trust the system
[12:56] Speaker 2: and I just let things be. That teacher ended up
[13:00] Speaker 2: being the very person, with the very skill set that
[13:04] Speaker 2: was needed for my child to get through that year.
[13:06] Speaker 2: I have absolute clarity around that. So that's the first thing.
[13:09] Speaker 1: Love it.
[13:10] Speaker 2: Don't judge a book by its cover, don't judge a
[13:11] Speaker 2: book by the things that other people are saying. And
[13:14] Speaker 2: when your child comes home and tells you that their
[13:16] Speaker 2: teacher is the worst person in the world, take the
[13:19] Speaker 2: opportunity to understand what took place from the teacher's perspective
[13:23] Speaker 2: as well. And the last thing is be slow to
[13:26] Speaker 2: judge and really quick to respond and give grace.
[13:30] Speaker 1: Yeah, I had assumed positive intent as my bonus that
[13:33] Speaker 1: I was going to chuck in that we didn't have time.
[13:35] Speaker 1: Sorry maybe, But here's the thing. Teachers are generally on
[13:38] Speaker 1: your child's side.
[13:39] Speaker 2: And they're human and they have thirty children at their
[13:42] Speaker 2: feet every day.
[13:43] Speaker 1: Okay, so you've kind of gone on a tangent from
[13:45] Speaker 1: where I was going. But you're absolutely right. But let
[13:47] Speaker 1: me go back to where I was. They are usually
[13:49] Speaker 1: on your child's side. They want to see your child
[13:52] Speaker 1: succeed and win. And you talk to teachers about their
[13:56] Speaker 1: favorite moments in the classroom, those at the moment where
[14:00] Speaker 1: they where it all comes together on works, especially with
[14:03] Speaker 1: a student that they're having a hard time with, They
[14:05] Speaker 1: are the best moments at all. So some great take
[14:09] Speaker 1: home messages here. What we want to do is spend
[14:11] Speaker 1: time in the relationship, volunteer. Don't expect anything, give say thanks,
[14:15] Speaker 1: assume positive intent, Send flowers, coffee, vouchers, bribe, what have
[14:19] Speaker 1: you got?
[14:20] Speaker 2: Chocolates? They love chocolates.
[14:22] Speaker 1: Good luck this year. We hope that that helps you
[14:23] Speaker 1: to build a positive relationship with your child's teacher. The
[14:27] Speaker 1: Happy Families podcast is produced by Justin roll on Frombridge Media.
[14:30] Speaker 1: Mimhammonds provides all of our research, admin and additional support.
[14:34] Speaker 1: If you are looking for more support in your family,
[14:36] Speaker 1: you'll find it at our social media pages or at
[14:39] Speaker 1: happy families dot com, dot a you

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