# I'll Do Better Tomorrow - Kylie Saves a Life

An episode of [Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1082244480), 5 Feb 2026, 15 min.

Audio: https://mgln.ai/e/187/traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/b69b2795-5503-4de1-ac91-af460017906e/2dc31bb4-f9e3-4e72-a61d-b3d600ceee03/audio.mp3?utm_source=Podcast&in_playlist=a05f1702-0c0e-4b0f-8014-af460017907c

One honest conversation. One brave decision. One life changed. In this I’ll Do Better Tomorrow episode, Kylie shares a moment she almost dismissed — until a handwritten letter revealed the unimaginable impact it had. We also unpack why goals often fail kids, how habits quietly heal, and what happens when parents choose courage over convention. This is about noticing what’s not working… and acting before it’s too late. KEY POINTS • Why focusing on who your child is becoming matters more than hitting a goal • How movement reduces anxiety and low mood (even when it doesn’t “make you happy”) • The quiet warning signs parents often miss • Why “the best school” isn’t always the right school • How one conversation gave a mum the courage to act — and likely saved a life • A powerful reminder: resilience doesn’t grow alone, it grows in relationships QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “So often we keep doing the same thing, hoping it will get better — but nothing changes until we act.” RESOURCES MENTIONED • Happy Families — parenting courses and support • Parenting ADHD \[The Course\] (happyfamilies.com.au) • The Industry School (alternative education option discussed) ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS • Get curious, not furious: ask why before fixing • Shift goals into habits — focus on daily ways of being • Watch energy, mood, and behaviour for quiet signals • If something isn’t working, give yourself permission to choose again • Have the brave conversation — it might matter more than you realise See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

## Transcript

[0:06] Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome to the Happy Families Podcast. Sometimes the
[0:09] Speaker 1: conversations that we have changed lives, sometimes they save lives. Today,
[0:16] Speaker 1: for our o'ld do Better Tomorrow edition of the Happy
[0:18] Speaker 1: Family's pod, we step into a conversation that Kylie had
[0:22] Speaker 1: that literally saved a life. That and more. Next this
[0:28] Speaker 1: is the Happy Families Podcast. Today. Welcome to our Friday edition,
[0:32] Speaker 1: where we step into the week that was. We talk
[0:33] Speaker 1: about the stuff that worked the stuff that didn't. We
[0:35] Speaker 1: call it I'll do better Tomorrow. Our goal is to
[0:37] Speaker 1: help you and us to do better tomorrow, because, let's
[0:40] Speaker 1: face it, sometimes parenting feels like a kinder steep climb.
[0:45] Speaker 1: I'm doctor justin colslant here with my wife and his
[0:47] Speaker 1: happy family is Kylie. Kylie. We're going to get to
[0:49] Speaker 1: yours in just a sec.
[0:51] Speaker 2: You say it's a steep climb, but sometimes I feel
[0:54] Speaker 2: like I'm either being literally catapulted across a valley or
[0:58] Speaker 2: I am plummeting to the lowest low being dragged under
[1:02] Speaker 2: and dragged under it.
[1:03] Speaker 1: Yes, well I had a bit of both over the
[1:06] Speaker 1: last week.
[1:07] Speaker 2: Well I did too. It's our family, yeh, that's right,
[1:10] Speaker 2: this is I was part of this.
[1:12] Speaker 1: You were I'm sorry for not including you in that.
[1:14] Speaker 1: We had a bit of both. So I would love
[1:16] Speaker 1: to share one of the hardest things that we've been
[1:18] Speaker 1: through recently. It's just too personal and it deals with
[1:21] Speaker 1: the story of one of our children, so it's not
[1:23] Speaker 1: really our story as much as it's theirs. But we've
[1:26] Speaker 1: had some challenges, as every family does. But I do
[1:31] Speaker 1: want to share another story. Incidentally, the principle behind both
[1:34] Speaker 1: of these stories is exactly the same. One of our
[1:36] Speaker 1: teenagers came to us and told us that she had
[1:39] Speaker 1: a goal. She is tired of feeling the way that
[1:41] Speaker 1: she feels. She's tired of I mean, it's a body
[1:44] Speaker 1: image issue, right, So she said, I want to lose
[1:47] Speaker 1: x number of kilos and I need to do it
[1:49] Speaker 1: by blah. Is this realistic? Is it doable? And we
[1:54] Speaker 1: worked out some maths, did a little bit of sort
[1:56] Speaker 1: of calculating and thought, yeah, yet is doable, but it
[2:01] Speaker 1: might be pushing it. Let's slow it down a little bit,
[2:03] Speaker 1: let's push it out a little bit longer. So she
[2:05] Speaker 1: was okay with that. Then we had a really important conversation.
[2:07] Speaker 1: I said, tell me more about why this is important
[2:09] Speaker 1: to you. We got into the nitty gritty of the
[2:14] Speaker 1: identity challenges, the self esteem issues.
[2:18] Speaker 2: And.
[2:20] Speaker 1: Then I asked about the specific number, why is this
[2:23] Speaker 1: number important? And I couldn't get a good answer out
[2:26] Speaker 1: of her about that. Let's say, for example, it was
[2:28] Speaker 1: I don't know, seventy kilos. I couldn't get a clear
[2:31] Speaker 1: answer as to why seventy kilos was the number that
[2:34] Speaker 1: she had to be touching. I said, even if you
[2:38] Speaker 1: do get there, are you going to be happy then?
[2:41] Speaker 1: And she said, well, I don't know. I just think
[2:44] Speaker 1: that's what I need to be. And I'm like, so
[2:45] Speaker 1: you don't actually know how you feel when you get there,
[2:47] Speaker 1: and you don't actually know if that's the right number,
[2:49] Speaker 1: and she said yeah. I said, okay, so I'm really
[2:53] Speaker 1: curious about this. This is I get curious, not furious moment.
[2:56] Speaker 1: This is an understand I don't reprimand moment. But let's
[2:59] Speaker 1: unpack this a little bit further. And so we talked
[3:01] Speaker 1: more about the selfes team issues. We talked more about
[3:03] Speaker 1: why it was important that she got there, and started
[3:06] Speaker 1: to really isolate Okay, this is a goal, but it's
[3:10] Speaker 1: not a very well fought through goal because there were
[3:12] Speaker 1: so many unknowns. And then I highlighted the following, whether
[3:15] Speaker 1: you're talking about a relationship, or your personal growth and development,
[3:20] Speaker 1: your spiritual growth and development, whether you're talking about your
[3:23] Speaker 1: physical health, these are the kinds of things that don't
[3:27] Speaker 1: actually have an end point, Like you wake up tomorrow
[3:31] Speaker 1: and you're still in that relationship, so you've got to
[3:33] Speaker 1: put the effort in again. And having a goal I
[3:36] Speaker 1: want to have a quote unquote happy marriage, Well that's
[3:40] Speaker 1: kind of nebulous. It doesn't really work because how do
[3:43] Speaker 1: you know that you're happy? And what if you wanted
[3:44] Speaker 1: to be happier? And what if you have an argument,
[3:47] Speaker 1: or somebody's tired, or dinner's not on the table, or
[3:50] Speaker 1: the house is a mess. What does that do to
[3:52] Speaker 1: your relationship? And so I said to her, when it
[3:55] Speaker 1: comes to weight, it's the same. How will you know
[3:58] Speaker 1: if you're quote unquote happy? That number isn't going to
[4:01] Speaker 1: do it for you, At which point she felt completely
[4:04] Speaker 1: confused and lost and a little bit deflated, which was
[4:06] Speaker 1: not my intention. And so I said to her what
[4:09] Speaker 1: matters is not a specific goal, but instead creating a lifestyle,
[4:15] Speaker 1: creating a habit, creating a way of being, at which
[4:20] Speaker 1: she raised her eyebrows got curious and said, I have
[4:23] Speaker 1: no idea what you're talking about. And so we talked
[4:26] Speaker 1: about what people who have bodies that feel strong and
[4:31] Speaker 1: healthy do versus people with bodies that don't feel strong
[4:35] Speaker 1: and healthy. Totally different. Not about the numbers, not even
[4:40] Speaker 1: about the appearance. It's about what they're doing to make
[4:45] Speaker 1: their bodies look and feel strong and healthy.
[4:47] Speaker 2: And what's really curious to me is that she started
[4:49] Speaker 2: to put that into action, and over the last few
[4:53] Speaker 2: days she started riding a bike with us.
[4:55] Speaker 1: Twenty k's a day. It's a small number, but it's
[4:58] Speaker 1: a start.
[4:59] Speaker 2: And the other morning it was windy and we couldn't
[5:03] Speaker 2: go for a ride. She was sluggish. She was actually
[5:07] Speaker 2: a little bit cranky. Yeah, and she really struggled to
[5:10] Speaker 2: get through a day.
[5:11] Speaker 1: Just a rough day.
[5:12] Speaker 2: Whereas the mornings where she knows we're writing, she kind
[5:15] Speaker 2: of she doesn't she she does, she jumps out.
[5:17] Speaker 1: I was going to say, she bounds out of bed
[5:19] Speaker 1: and she puts on the likry and she's like, let's go.
[5:22] Speaker 2: And there's energy to her that we haven't seen in
[5:24] Speaker 2: a really long time. Yeah, And so she kind of
[5:28] Speaker 2: she finished of her activity for the morning and she
[5:31] Speaker 2: looked at me and she said, oh, this is just
[5:33] Speaker 2: such a waste of time.
[5:34] Speaker 1: And I I yeah, because she hadn't gone for a
[5:37] Speaker 1: ride that day, had a low mood.
[5:39] Speaker 2: Yeah, And I was like, what's going on? Did something
[5:41] Speaker 2: happen at class or and She's like no, And I said,
[5:45] Speaker 2: tell me more about this, and she like she just
[5:46] Speaker 2: she couldn't tell me anything. And finally I said, I
[5:49] Speaker 2: find it curious. I said, every morning you've ridden, I said,
[5:53] Speaker 2: you've really enjoyed yourself. And I said, but today, the
[5:56] Speaker 2: one morning you're not writing, is different. And I said,
[6:00] Speaker 2: I think your body's really enjoying moving your body and
[6:04] Speaker 2: receiving those beautiful happy hormones, those endorphins that just fill
[6:08] Speaker 2: you with delight and joy, and it's given you the
[6:11] Speaker 2: capacity to get through the day with a bouncing your step.
[6:15] Speaker 1: So there are a couple of things that I want
[6:16] Speaker 1: to pop in here as it take our message. The
[6:18] Speaker 1: first is that exercise is not actually known as a
[6:20] Speaker 1: happiness booster, but what it does do is it reduces
[6:22] Speaker 1: depression and anxiety symptoms. So people think that exercise makes
[6:26] Speaker 1: you happy, and it does. It gives you a little
[6:28] Speaker 1: bit of a boost, but What it does more than
[6:30] Speaker 1: anything is it pushes away the negative low mood, and
[6:34] Speaker 1: I think that that's a really important distinction. But also
[6:37] Speaker 1: it's a really big win because if you want to
[6:39] Speaker 1: feel good in your body and look in your body,
[6:42] Speaker 1: exercising will help you too just feel good as a
[6:46] Speaker 1: result of taking away those negative elements emotionally. But secondly,
[6:50] Speaker 1: it's worth highlighting resilience is relational. If she wasn't writing
[6:54] Speaker 1: with us, she wouldn't write at all. Oh no, there's
[6:56] Speaker 1: no way that's not going to happen.
[6:58] Speaker 2: She actually loves the fact because she's on my bike. Yes,
[7:01] Speaker 2: she loves riding away from me and leaving me for dead.
[7:04] Speaker 1: She thinks that's the best. She loves the competitive element
[7:06] Speaker 1: and the feeling of competence. There's that basic psychological need. Again,
[7:09] Speaker 1: she's choosing to do it. So I'm choosing to do
[7:11] Speaker 1: this thing. I'm doing a pretty decent job of it,
[7:13] Speaker 1: and I'm doing it with people that I love.
[7:14] Speaker 2: Smashing Mum definitely on her list.
[7:17] Speaker 1: So that's my odd A better tomorrow, sit down with
[7:19] Speaker 1: the kids and have conversations with them about why it matters,
[7:23] Speaker 1: what it really means, and how to become the person
[7:26] Speaker 1: who does it rather than try to hit some goal,
[7:28] Speaker 1: because once you hit the goal, you relax and you
[7:30] Speaker 1: stop doing it again. After the break, missus Happy Families
[7:34] Speaker 1: Saves Someone's like more. Next you're back, It's the Happy
[7:45] Speaker 1: Family's Podcast. Okay, Kylie, let's hear how you have literally
[7:50] Speaker 1: changed a family, changed a life.
[7:53] Speaker 2: I feel really uncomfortable with that intro. I just it's true.
[7:57] Speaker 2: You get a conversation. From time to time, I get
[8:00] Speaker 2: invited to go and speak at an event, and you.
[8:02] Speaker 1: Do such a great job.
[8:03] Speaker 2: I want here. I really enjoy it. At this particular event,
[8:08] Speaker 2: I caught up with a mum afterwards, and she was
[8:13] Speaker 2: reveling in the things that I shared and had a
[8:16] Speaker 2: really really strong opinion about some of the messages that
[8:20] Speaker 2: I promoted.
[8:21] Speaker 1: She thought you were awesome.
[8:22] Speaker 2: She did think I was awesome. I thought she was
[8:23] Speaker 2: pretty awesome too. But as part of that conversation, she
[8:29] Speaker 2: shared a bit about what was going on in her family.
[8:32] Speaker 2: Single mum with a teenage young teenage daughter and you know,
[8:37] Speaker 2: doing it doing it on her own, Like that's hard,
[8:40] Speaker 2: that's hard. I often feel like I'm doing it on
[8:43] Speaker 2: my own because you're not here physically here, but I've
[8:47] Speaker 2: always got you on the line, right, You're always you know.
[8:49] Speaker 1: I'm coming back a couple of days.
[8:51] Speaker 2: Yes, for me, the physical stuff is draining, but it's
[8:54] Speaker 2: the emotional stress that you get put under on a
[8:58] Speaker 2: day to day basis as you try to carry your
[9:01] Speaker 2: own weight, your own emotional weight, but that of your
[9:05] Speaker 2: offsprings as well, and in our case that's time six, right,
[9:08] Speaker 2: And then you can put it at grand baby and
[9:10] Speaker 2: a son in Lauren, and it just grows and it's
[9:14] Speaker 2: such a privilege, but it's also it also can feel
[9:17] Speaker 2: very brtisome. So I just I love that she is
[9:22] Speaker 2: doing so much good in her sphere. But as part
[9:26] Speaker 2: of our conversation, she shared just some of the struggles
[9:29] Speaker 2: that her daughter was having. She wasn't doing really well
[9:32] Speaker 2: at school, really struggling with her friendship groups. And so
[9:35] Speaker 2: I just shed a bit about the decisions we had
[9:37] Speaker 2: made in relation to our children, and I didn't think
[9:41] Speaker 2: anything of it. That was the end of the conversation.
[9:44] Speaker 2: We've had nothing to do with each other for more
[9:45] Speaker 2: than six months, and out of the blue, I received
[9:49] Speaker 2: a handwritten letter this week which has just touched me
[9:53] Speaker 2: to the core. And in that she just shared that
[9:57] Speaker 2: it was because of the conversation we had that she's started,
[10:00] Speaker 2: I guess, exploring a little bit more and getting more
[10:02] Speaker 2: curious with her daughter, and came to realize that she
[10:06] Speaker 2: had attempted to take her life multiple times in the
[10:10] Speaker 2: last twelve months, and that she was beyond miserable. She
[10:16] Speaker 2: really just didn't want to be here. And one of
[10:21] Speaker 2: the main things that stood out to her from our
[10:23] Speaker 2: conversation was that we had wrestled with this idea of
[10:28] Speaker 2: keeping our children in the school system, believing that convention
[10:32] Speaker 2: suggests this is the best place for them to learn,
[10:36] Speaker 2: and recognizing very quickly or very slowly, whichever way you
[10:40] Speaker 2: want to look at it, that it actually wasn't for
[10:42] Speaker 2: our kids, and choosing to go quite unconventional in so
[10:48] Speaker 2: many ways and pull one of them out to homeschool,
[10:51] Speaker 2: and then choosing a very different structured learning system for
[10:56] Speaker 2: our fifteen year old has made such a difference to our.
[11:01] Speaker 1: We're not sponsored and we don't get anything for saying it,
[11:03] Speaker 1: but number one, we've loved homeschooling the youngest, and number
[11:05] Speaker 1: two the Industry School. While every school has its challenges,
[11:08] Speaker 1: the Industry School is a Southeast Queensland school, but they're
[11:12] Speaker 1: opening some other campuses around the country. As having a
[11:15] Speaker 1: chat with the principle of the local one here and
[11:17] Speaker 1: he's heading off to Melbourne soon. Amazing, amazing experience that
[11:21] Speaker 1: our children have had as a result of what this
[11:23] Speaker 1: school does.
[11:24] Speaker 2: And so if I was to kind of round out
[11:27] Speaker 2: this whole thinking process that's going through my mind at
[11:30] Speaker 2: the moment. So often as parents we make decisions and
[11:33] Speaker 2: we think we're trapped by those decisions. I put my
[11:36] Speaker 2: child into the best school in the neighborhood. Literally, therefore
[11:41] Speaker 2: there is nowhere else for me to go. Where do
[11:44] Speaker 2: you go once you've had the best?
[11:46] Speaker 1: Like if they can't help me, who can?
[11:48] Speaker 2: But the good news story is you get to Jews, right,
[11:51] Speaker 2: you actually get to Jews. So if something's not working,
[11:55] Speaker 2: then what's the definition of insanity?
[11:59] Speaker 1: You're doing the same thing over and over and over again,
[12:01] Speaker 1: but expecting a different result. I think was Einstein who
[12:03] Speaker 1: said that, I.
[12:05] Speaker 2: Think so often we get trapped in that, right, we
[12:07] Speaker 2: just keep doing the same thing, hoping and praying that
[12:09] Speaker 2: it's going to get better. But in this situation, this mum,
[12:13] Speaker 2: based on our conversation, she decided to do something quite
[12:15] Speaker 2: radical and she pulled her daughter out of her very
[12:18] Speaker 2: very expensive private school, and she kept looking until she
[12:24] Speaker 2: found a fit for her daughter. And she managed to
[12:27] Speaker 2: find a really, really niche little school that deals specifically
[12:32] Speaker 2: with some of the challenges that her daughter has been
[12:34] Speaker 2: dealing with. And I just feel so grateful for an
[12:37] Speaker 2: opportunity to connect with somebody and shared just a little
[12:41] Speaker 2: bit of our story and unintentionally make a massive difference
[12:47] Speaker 2: in their lives.
[12:48] Speaker 1: Yeah, So, I mean, I'm listening to what you're saying.
[12:50] Speaker 1: In number one, you've had the conversation which gives the
[12:53] Speaker 1: parent the courage to have a chat with their daughter
[12:56] Speaker 1: I only to find out other things are far worse
[12:57] Speaker 1: than they thought that they're literally the worst things that
[13:01] Speaker 1: you can imagine going on in her life, and she's
[13:04] Speaker 1: now got to confront that and respond to it. So
[13:07] Speaker 1: that's the first thing that you've done potentially possibly almost
[13:11] Speaker 1: certainly actually saved the life here. But secondly, you've given
[13:14] Speaker 1: this mum the courage to say, Okay, so this very
[13:18] Speaker 1: expensive option that we would consider to be the premium
[13:21] Speaker 1: platinum as good as it gets option is not really working,
[13:24] Speaker 1: and we need to rewrite the rules of the game.
[13:26] Speaker 1: We need to come up with a new game to play,
[13:29] Speaker 1: and she had the courage to do that, and so
[13:30] Speaker 1: many people won't like that. There's that fixed view. I
[13:33] Speaker 1: have to do this because it's the best and if
[13:35] Speaker 1: this doesn't work, nothing else will. It's not true. It's
[13:37] Speaker 1: not true. And she's discovered that. And now based on
[13:40] Speaker 1: the letter that you received, this handwritten letter, I love
[13:43] Speaker 1: that mum and child are both doing way, way, way better.
[13:50] Speaker 2: I think she's been very generous and suggesting that I
[13:52] Speaker 2: have done anything.
[13:54] Speaker 1: But that conversation you had does help, right, That's.
[13:58] Speaker 2: Why ultimately it comes down to being able to act
[14:01] Speaker 2: when things aren't working right. The only way we change
[14:05] Speaker 2: it is by acting. Yeah, right, we actually have to act.
[14:08] Speaker 2: We can have all the good conversations in the world,
[14:11] Speaker 2: but unless we take courage and act, nothing changes.
[14:15] Speaker 1: But it's still easy to act. I own I said
[14:17] Speaker 1: it in my older bit tomorrow. Resilience is relational. It's
[14:20] Speaker 1: easy to act when you've got somebody at your side
[14:22] Speaker 1: saying you got this, I believe in you. Let's try this,
[14:25] Speaker 1: I mean, And that's what you've done. Such an important thing.
[14:29] Speaker 1: And I hope that this gives parents who are struggling
[14:31] Speaker 1: the courage to push your head, especially when there are
[14:34] Speaker 1: so many people who are really genuinely struggling with so
[14:37] Speaker 1: many things. The Happy Families podcasts will be back on Monday.
[14:40] Speaker 1: Thanks so much for listening. We love that you join
[14:42] Speaker 1: us every week and we can't wait to share more
[14:44] Speaker 1: once the weekend is done. Have a great weekend. Thanks
[14:46] Speaker 1: so much to Justin rule On from Bridge Media who
[14:49] Speaker 1: produces the podcast, a Memhammonds who provides admin support. For
[14:52] Speaker 1: more info on resources, check out Happy families dot com
[14:56] Speaker 1: dot au, including our ADHD a parents of course, mm
[15:08] Speaker 1: hmm

Shows are listed from Apple Podcasts' charts and directory, and Podcast Index where it is used. Every show and episode belongs to its publisher and plays from the publisher's own feed; this site hosts none of them.