# Raising Boys in a Toxic Online World (Q&A re: The Manosphere Documentary)

An episode of [Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1082244480), 16 Mar 2026, 23 min.

Audio: https://mgln.ai/e/187/traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/b69b2795-5503-4de1-ac91-af460017906e/bdfe8b59-8e12-417a-a0f3-b402009020ee/audio.mp3?utm_source=Podcast&in_playlist=a05f1702-0c0e-4b0f-8014-af460017907c

A new documentary exposing the online “manosphere” has parents asking a frightening question: What kind of world are our boys growing up in? In this episode, Justin unpacks the disturbing rise of influencers teaching boys that domination, misogyny, and outrage are the path to power—and why millions of young men are being drawn in. But while the content can feel alarming, the solution for parents is surprisingly clear. Justin explains why boys who grow up surrounded by strong values, meaningful relationships, and healthy role models are far less vulnerable to toxic online culture—and what parents can start doing today to build boys who are genuinely strong from the inside out. If you’re raising sons—or daughters who will grow up alongside them—this conversation matters. KEY POINTS • What the “manosphere” actually is and why it’s gaining traction • How extreme influencers exploit struggling boys for clicks, money, and power • Why algorithm-driven outrage pushes toxic ideas to the top • The real reason some boys are vulnerable to this contentHow strong male role models dramatically reduce the influence of toxic voices • Why regular moral conversations at home build resilient kids • The true definition of healthy masculinity QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “Real strength leaves people feeling safer and stronger. These influencers leave people feeling smaller.” RESOURCES MENTIONED • Inside the Manosphere documentary by Louis Theroux • Boys: Raising Strong Young Men from the Inside Out by Justin Coulson ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS • Surround boys with strong role models. Boys need men—and women—who demonstrate integrity, respect, and responsibility. • Prioritise connection with dads or mentors. Time together, conversations, and shared activities matter far more than perfection. • Talk about character often. Use everyday situations and hypotheticals to discuss values and moral choices. • Delay unsupervised internet exposure. The longer kids stay away from algorithm-driven content, the better. • Teach healthy masculinity. Real strength means helping the people around you feel safer and stronger. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

## Transcript

[0:00] Speaker 1: Today's edition of the Happy Families Podcast contains adult themes.
[0:04] Speaker 2: Listener discretion is advised. Today's tricky Question on the Happy
[0:13] Speaker 2: Families Podcast ties in with a brand new Netflix documentary
[0:18] Speaker 2: by Louis Thru called Inside the Mano Sphere. I want
[0:22] Speaker 2: to know what's going on when it comes to boys
[0:25] Speaker 2: and men online. Want to know what we can do
[0:29] Speaker 2: to help people to be healthier in terms of the
[0:33] Speaker 2: way we're raising boys and men. That's what we tackle
[0:36] Speaker 2: today on the Happy Families Podcast. Stay with us.
[0:42] Speaker 3: Early twenty twenty five, after protracted negotiations and arranged two
[0:47] Speaker 3: days of filming with an influencer named Harrison Sullivan. Permission
[0:51] Speaker 3: to come aboard, of course we do with a real deal.
[0:56] Speaker 3: We're not YouTubers.
[0:57] Speaker 2: Oh okay, Hello and welcome to the Happy Families Podcast.
[1:00] Speaker 2: Real parenting Solutions every single day on Australia's most downloaded
[1:03] Speaker 2: parenting podcast. We are Justin and Kylie Colson, and every
[1:07] Speaker 2: Tuesday on the podcast we answer your tricky questions about
[1:10] Speaker 2: family and relationships and well being and screens and discipline
[1:13] Speaker 2: and the manisphere. Today. If you'd like to submit a
[1:16] Speaker 2: tricky question, you can do it via our super simple
[1:19] Speaker 2: system at happy families dot com dot you. You just
[1:21] Speaker 2: scroll down to podcasts, click the record button and start talking.
[1:25] Speaker 2: Or alternatively, you can send us a voice note to
[1:28] Speaker 2: podcasts at happy families dot com dot you. We received
[1:33] Speaker 2: this one from Ella in Vic.
[1:36] Speaker 4: Hi, justin this is Ala. I just watched Louis Thurow's
[1:41] Speaker 4: new documentary Inside the Manisphere, and it's absolutely terrifying. I
[1:48] Speaker 4: just had a baby boy twelve weeks ago, and I'd
[1:52] Speaker 4: love to hear your thoughts on how to raise boys
[1:57] Speaker 4: in a world where there are men like this influencing them.
[2:02] Speaker 4: Thank you.
[2:03] Speaker 1: I remember being that anxious first time mum and feeling
[2:07] Speaker 1: the weight of the world on my shoulders, wondering how
[2:10] Speaker 1: I was going to raise a child in today's world.
[2:14] Speaker 1: I haven't watched The Manisphere. I've heard a lot of
[2:18] Speaker 1: commentation around it, but I'm wondering what is all of us?
[2:22] Speaker 2: So first of all, I've never heard the word commotation before,
[2:24] Speaker 2: but I love it. That's so good. I feel like
[2:28] Speaker 2: there's some tension right now just thinking about what this
[2:32] Speaker 2: doco is and what's in there and the topics that
[2:35] Speaker 2: we need to discuss today. But commotation, commotation knock me. No, no, no,
[2:40] Speaker 2: I just wanted to say that. So I watched it
[2:43] Speaker 2: on the weekend because I've been getting media requests left,
[2:46] Speaker 2: right and center about it. And I didn't invite you
[2:48] Speaker 2: to watch it with me because I figured you probably didn't.
[2:51] Speaker 2: You don't need that in your life, right. The first
[2:53] Speaker 2: thing that I would actually say to Ella is you've
[2:55] Speaker 2: got a twelve week old, so you've got plenty of time.
[2:57] Speaker 1: Plenty of time.
[2:58] Speaker 2: But also my hope is, and I don't know anything
[3:01] Speaker 2: about Ella's background, but my hope is that you have
[3:04] Speaker 2: really good men in your son's orbit, in your son's environment,
[3:09] Speaker 2: in your community. And if you do, the likelihood is
[3:14] Speaker 2: that your son is far less likely to be influenced
[3:16] Speaker 2: by the rubbish, the filthy. It's just so depressing. There's
[3:21] Speaker 2: no other way for me to say it. I'm I
[3:23] Speaker 2: came out of watching the documentary and I just felt
[3:26] Speaker 2: so sad. There's no other way for me to explain it.
[3:30] Speaker 2: Just ah, this suck.
[3:33] Speaker 3: A few years ago, I noticed the parts of the
[3:36] Speaker 3: Internet were being taken over a lot of you eats
[3:39] Speaker 3: a week by a collection of male influences.
[3:46] Speaker 2: Were like the last stamp.
[3:47] Speaker 3: They claimed to be giving young men the cheat codes
[3:50] Speaker 3: to win at LOFE not.
[3:52] Speaker 5: Made six thousand pounds for four hour about this morning.
[3:56] Speaker 2: I already know so much of what was in the
[3:57] Speaker 2: doco because I've been writing a book about raising boys
[3:59] Speaker 2: for the last three and a half to four years.
[4:01] Speaker 2: Now it comes out in June. I feel like I've
[4:04] Speaker 2: earned the shameless plug here. If you want to raise
[4:07] Speaker 2: healthy men, jump online to book Topia and pre order
[4:09] Speaker 2: my book like it outlines exactly what it is to
[4:13] Speaker 2: build strong young men. And I do mean strong because
[4:16] Speaker 2: I want our boys to be strong, but to build
[4:18] Speaker 2: them from the inside out, to build their character. That's
[4:21] Speaker 2: the plug. That's all I'm going to say about that.
[4:22] Speaker 2: But I really do need to emphasize you can get
[4:25] Speaker 2: the book now on pre order, and it's worth it.
[4:27] Speaker 2: I just think it's going to be such an important book. Kylie,
[4:30] Speaker 2: Where do we start here? What do you want to know?
[4:32] Speaker 2: That it's obvious you haven't seen it. I have, and
[4:34] Speaker 2: we can answer Ella's questions as we go.
[4:36] Speaker 1: I've heard this word banded around for a little while now,
[4:38] Speaker 1: the whole idea of Manisphere, but I actually don't have
[4:42] Speaker 1: any idea what is actually trying to encompass.
[4:47] Speaker 2: All right, So Everyone has a different definition of manisphere,
[4:49] Speaker 2: So if you don't like my definition, don't be a hater.
[4:52] Speaker 2: It's okay everybody. The way that I define the manisphere
[4:54] Speaker 2: is influencers who are male who are trying to communicate
[5:01] Speaker 2: with young men. Essentially, if you are a male who
[5:05] Speaker 2: is online and you are trying to communicate with and
[5:07] Speaker 2: build a business out of young men, then you're in
[5:09] Speaker 2: the manisphere.
[5:09] Speaker 1: So I would actually say, what's the female equivalent?
[5:13] Speaker 2: There's heaps of we don't call it a female a sphere.
[5:16] Speaker 1: I know that's what I'm saying, But why has this
[5:18] Speaker 1: such a big deal Because we don't talk about it's
[5:20] Speaker 1: such a big deal pluences of women in the same way.
[5:23] Speaker 2: Because of the extremism and the potential disproportionate harm. So
[5:26] Speaker 2: there are some women on the Internet who have got
[5:28] Speaker 2: some horrendous ideas, no doubt, across the board, across the board, right,
[5:32] Speaker 2: because there are people with toxic values and toxic ideas
[5:35] Speaker 2: all over the place. My concern is that when you
[5:39] Speaker 2: get into and Luis throw has a very similar definition
[5:42] Speaker 2: to mine. He says, much of the manisphere is relatively benign.
[5:46] Speaker 2: It's a bunch of guys who are talking about wealth
[5:49] Speaker 2: and fitness and relationships and trying to make your life go. Well,
[5:55] Speaker 2: that's what it is. So I include things people like
[5:57] Speaker 2: Stephen Bartlett, the Diary of CEO, people like Theo vonn Is,
[6:02] Speaker 2: Chris Williams or Chris Williamson, I don't know Scott Galloway.
[6:05] Speaker 2: There's all of these. I would even say Joe Rogan
[6:08] Speaker 2: and Jordan Peterson fit into the manisphere. And while some
[6:10] Speaker 2: people have big reactions to some of them or all
[6:13] Speaker 2: of them, they're genuinely making good faith efforts with generally
[6:21] Speaker 2: really decent backgrounds to help young men and boys to
[6:26] Speaker 2: do well in their lives. But then, as throw says,
[6:29] Speaker 2: and again in harmony with the way I see the manisphere,
[6:31] Speaker 2: as you move out of the center and move towards
[6:34] Speaker 2: the edges, towards the periphery, towards the extremes, you get
[6:37] Speaker 2: more and more influencers whose content is absolutely undeniably women hating,
[6:45] Speaker 2: Like misogyny is a word that we overuse, but in
[6:48] Speaker 2: this context it's not. It's absolutely right word for what
[6:51] Speaker 2: these they say. They love women. I'll give you some
[6:53] Speaker 2: examples in a minute, but it's morality free. The algorithm
[6:58] Speaker 2: loves this stuff. At blow Up, millions if not billions
[7:01] Speaker 2: of people see the stuff, and in the inside the
[7:05] Speaker 2: Manisphere doco, Threau goes and interviews, sit down with, has conversations,
[7:09] Speaker 2: spends days with some of the bigger names in the
[7:13] Speaker 2: manisphere at the edgier side of things. Please note he
[7:17] Speaker 2: doesn't get to the nitty gritty, the hardcore stuff that
[7:20] Speaker 2: I wish he'd gone to. It's grittier and worse, believe
[7:22] Speaker 2: it or not. But what he brings us is enough
[7:26] Speaker 2: to make people like Ellis say, oh my goodness, what
[7:28] Speaker 2: is this world that my son is going to be
[7:30] Speaker 2: raised in?
[7:31] Speaker 1: So from the outset I share, I haven't watched it.
[7:35] Speaker 1: You have, and what stood out to you the most
[7:40] Speaker 1: as you were watching what actually happened? It's a documentary.
[7:43] Speaker 1: He's spending time with these people. But what am I missing?
[7:48] Speaker 2: Okay? First off, I'm going to come in with criticisms. First,
[7:51] Speaker 2: I don't think that they've emphasized nearly enough the impact
[7:54] Speaker 2: of what this does to girls and women or to
[7:56] Speaker 2: young men themselves as victims of this toxic culture. I
[8:00] Speaker 2: really don't think that Thireau focused enough on that, and
[8:02] Speaker 2: that was disappointing. And the other thing is that I
[8:06] Speaker 2: don't think that he went deep enough into it. Now
[8:08] Speaker 2: having said that, some of the stuff that he shared,
[8:11] Speaker 2: I've got a couple of quotes here that I've written
[8:12] Speaker 2: down because I think that they're worth just spending a
[8:15] Speaker 2: minute on. One of the man of sphear men. I
[8:18] Speaker 2: feel uncomfortable even calling them men because I don't see
[8:20] Speaker 2: them as men. I see them as pathetic. There was
[8:23] Speaker 2: one guy, his name is hs hss Tiki Toki, who
[8:27] Speaker 2: when he's bringing through into his home, he points at
[8:33] Speaker 2: a bikini clad girl who's sitting on the couch and
[8:35] Speaker 2: she's literally just there scrolling the phone. I think she's
[8:38] Speaker 2: there to look pretty. I think that's actually why she's there,
[8:40] Speaker 2: because the guy doesn't have a relationship with her. But
[8:43] Speaker 2: he points at her, and he doesn't introduce her with
[8:45] Speaker 2: a name or anything about her. He just goes, so,
[8:47] Speaker 2: this is.
[8:48] Speaker 5: Make dishwasher over here, mcleano, So hello, this has gone
[8:54] Speaker 5: on that flix loo.
[8:55] Speaker 3: What's name Casey?
[8:56] Speaker 2: I think I've seen it, And she then keeps on
[8:58] Speaker 2: walking like she's she's not a person. There's another guy.
[9:01] Speaker 2: He's a Certanese American blogger who's got a podcast called
[9:05] Speaker 2: Fresh and Fit podcast. I mean, it sounds so good, right.
[9:08] Speaker 2: I've listened to the Fresh and Fit podcast until I
[9:10] Speaker 2: discover who this Myron Gains guy really is. I don't know.
[9:14] Speaker 2: I don't even want to tell you what he said.
[9:16] Speaker 2: I'm going to tell you what he says. Anyway. He's
[9:17] Speaker 2: written a book. They don't talk about this in the docco,
[9:19] Speaker 2: but he's written a book called Why Women Deserve Less.
[9:22] Speaker 2: This is who we're talking about, right, Why women Deserve Less.
[9:24] Speaker 2: He explains that.
[9:25] Speaker 6: I'm the dictator.
[9:27] Speaker 2: You are the subordinate. He says that the woman is subordinate,
[9:30] Speaker 2: that he knows what women want better than women know
[9:34] Speaker 2: what they want. That and I don't use course language,
[9:38] Speaker 2: so I need to be gentle here. But he says,
[9:41] Speaker 2: and I dictate when I want to put you, and
[9:43] Speaker 2: then you dictate when the sandwich has come by my dictation.
[9:46] Speaker 2: My job is to decide when you want me and
[9:48] Speaker 2: how it will happen. It's that kind of thing he
[9:51] Speaker 2: can talk down to a woman because dominance is what
[9:53] Speaker 2: she actually really truly desires. There's this double standard where
[9:58] Speaker 2: pretty much all of the guys, a I expect whoever
[10:01] Speaker 2: I'm with, she must be monogamous. She must be true
[10:04] Speaker 2: to me, But it's a one way monogamy. The boys.
[10:07] Speaker 2: The boys can do whatever they want, and I just
[10:10] Speaker 2: I said them the whole time, Colin, I'm just thinking,
[10:12] Speaker 2: this is not strength. Like a man who needs to
[10:15] Speaker 2: diminish someone or to dominate someone to show that they're
[10:20] Speaker 2: powerful isn't powerful. They're fragile. In my mind, this is
[10:24] Speaker 2: just fragility. It's core because real strength leaves people feeling
[10:27] Speaker 2: safer and stronger, and these guys leave people feeling smaller.
[10:29] Speaker 3: Are you saying you're not in a monogamous relationship one
[10:33] Speaker 3: side of monogamy. Yeah, women don't want to sleep with
[10:36] Speaker 3: other men when they love a man.
[10:37] Speaker 1: This might show my ignorance and maybe an acknowledgment that
[10:41] Speaker 1: I live inside a very very small.
[10:45] Speaker 2: Bubbles, a safe, healthy bubble.
[10:49] Speaker 1: But there is no one in my circle that would
[10:54] Speaker 1: espouse those values in any way, shape or form, and
[10:57] Speaker 1: if they did, they wouldn't stay in my circle. Yes,
[11:00] Speaker 1: So how is it that they managed to gain so
[11:03] Speaker 1: much traction? Because I think that humanity and the values
[11:08] Speaker 1: that we strive for would absolutely hands down throw that
[11:16] Speaker 1: kind of stuff out the door, Like there's just no
[11:18] Speaker 1: way you would not accept, and any woman who has
[11:22] Speaker 1: any level of self respect would I just I wouldn't.
[11:29] Speaker 1: I'm speechless. How do they gain traction? How do people
[11:33] Speaker 1: not see that this is absolutely the most horrendous kind
[11:37] Speaker 1: of behavior and instead celebrate and support.
[11:43] Speaker 2: I'll len's that right off the break. Stay with us,
[11:52] Speaker 2: We're back. This is The Happy Family's podcast, Real Parenting Solutions,
[11:55] Speaker 2: every single day in Australia's most downloaded parenting podcast in
[11:58] Speaker 2: the Matnisphere, Kylie, this is something that I've been thinking about,
[12:02] Speaker 2: like I said, for a couple of years, and here's
[12:03] Speaker 2: how I would describe it. In the manisphere. You're either
[12:05] Speaker 2: one up or one down. You're either alpha or beta.
[12:09] Speaker 2: It's absolutely about winning. And these guys are preying on
[12:15] Speaker 2: what I'm going to call non thriving men and boys
[12:21] Speaker 2: or boys who are missing meaning and purpose in their lives,
[12:24] Speaker 2: or men and who haven't sorted out their values yet. So,
[12:28] Speaker 2: if you're feeling like the world is against you, if
[12:30] Speaker 2: things aren't working out, if you're feeling like all the
[12:32] Speaker 2: girls are going in other directions, if you feel like
[12:35] Speaker 2: you've just got to go your own way, there's a
[12:37] Speaker 2: movement called men going their own way. Then all of
[12:40] Speaker 2: a sudden, this stuff seems attractive because you get to
[12:43] Speaker 2: step into a community of other like minded people who
[12:46] Speaker 2: also feel like they're victims, who then get to blame
[12:48] Speaker 2: everything outside themselves for where they are now. It's true
[12:51] Speaker 2: that sometimes the system can make a mess of people's lives.
[12:53] Speaker 2: We've got examples of that in mainstream society, let alone
[12:56] Speaker 2: going to the fringes of the manisphere to find it.
[12:59] Speaker 2: The system can be really harsh. But they believe that
[13:04] Speaker 2: everyone swallowed this blue pill and they've got the red pill,
[13:07] Speaker 2: and they understand exactly where things really are. And the
[13:11] Speaker 2: ideology that they've got is that everything's outside of their
[13:15] Speaker 2: control and this is their way of getting control back.
[13:17] Speaker 2: So they get into their forums and their groups online
[13:20] Speaker 2: and they say heredus things, and they support each other
[13:22] Speaker 2: in those things, and they reinforce those things, and eventually
[13:26] Speaker 2: that's where it lands. And Through pointed out very very
[13:31] Speaker 2: gently that his view of the manisphere is that those
[13:35] Speaker 2: who are the most unhelpful, the most toxic, very often,
[13:39] Speaker 2: not always, but very often grew up in homes where
[13:42] Speaker 2: they didn't have male role models or didn't have fathers
[13:45] Speaker 2: at all. I think that that's a point that's worth
[13:48] Speaker 2: pausing on. For Ella, if you want your boy to
[13:51] Speaker 2: grow up and have a strong sense of character and morality,
[13:54] Speaker 2: then make sure that he's surrounded by good men who
[13:56] Speaker 2: have a strong sense of character and morality. That's part
[13:58] Speaker 2: of the deal in my book about raising boys. That's
[14:01] Speaker 2: something that I really push hard on. We've got to
[14:04] Speaker 2: make sure that good role models are there.
[14:07] Speaker 1: So I've heard enough to know that I definitely do
[14:09] Speaker 1: not want to watch this.
[14:11] Speaker 2: Yeah, Yeah, which is funny because I would actually recommend.
[14:13] Speaker 1: This conversation is leading me down a very very clear part.
[14:17] Speaker 1: This is not something I need in my life. But
[14:19] Speaker 1: I want to go back to the conversation where you
[14:21] Speaker 1: were sharing it. A few of the examples that came
[14:23] Speaker 1: out of the documentary before we started recording, you talk
[14:28] Speaker 1: to me about specifically about violence towards women that was
[14:31] Speaker 1: not good.
[14:32] Speaker 2: I forgot to mention that, can you just share with us?
[14:35] Speaker 1: Yeah?
[14:35] Speaker 2: I mean, I don't even like saying what I'm about
[14:38] Speaker 2: to say. There's a guy that they interviewed. His name
[14:41] Speaker 2: is Sneako. One of his early videos, these guys just
[14:43] Speaker 2: say and do the most atrocious things in one of
[14:45] Speaker 2: these videos, And I'm sorry for even saying this. I
[14:47] Speaker 2: feel like I have to apologize before I say it.
[14:49] Speaker 2: Sneako says that a woman should be hit hard, hit once,
[14:52] Speaker 2: and then sent back into the kitchen again. I just
[14:55] Speaker 2: and millions of men pile on the praise. It defies
[14:59] Speaker 2: comprehension when you hear and see that. And like I said,
[15:02] Speaker 2: it's not the worst of what's out there through his
[15:04] Speaker 2: documentary is actually sanitized compared to what's out there. It's
[15:07] Speaker 2: a sewer, and the closer you get to the edge, well,
[15:10] Speaker 2: actually you go over the edge. Really, it's just a sewer.
[15:13] Speaker 2: One of the guys HS again was asked how he
[15:17] Speaker 2: felt about thirteen year old boys coming up to him
[15:19] Speaker 2: for selfies, and he said.
[15:21] Speaker 6: That's the parents fault. That's not my fault. I don't
[15:24] Speaker 6: need to send to myself. I'll say what I want.
[15:26] Speaker 6: I've had thirteen year olds come up to me and
[15:28] Speaker 6: I'm like, mate, why are you watching my stuff? You're
[15:31] Speaker 6: too young to watch my stuff.
[15:32] Speaker 2: Thirteen years I can't believe they're watching it. But that's
[15:34] Speaker 2: the parent's fault. So just this total abrogation of responsibility,
[15:38] Speaker 2: that's the parent's fault. You know what, you know why
[15:41] Speaker 2: they're actually doing it. They're doing it for cash. This
[15:45] Speaker 2: is a business. Yeah, this is actually a business. This
[15:48] Speaker 2: is the whole model. Let's exploit the algorithm that pushes
[15:54] Speaker 2: and promotes increasingly extreme content, because if we do this,
[16:01] Speaker 2: it's commerce that's become ideology, and the algorithm keeps rewarding
[16:05] Speaker 2: the extremity, and the more outrageous the content, the more
[16:08] Speaker 2: it spreads. They're just these guys. They see themselves as entrepreneurs.
[16:14] Speaker 2: I would say that they are entrepreneurs, but they do
[16:16] Speaker 2: not have a conscience. It's just it's horrid. Last thing,
[16:20] Speaker 2: because we need to wrap up. Through has this conversation
[16:22] Speaker 2: again with Hs. He sort of makes up he's one
[16:25] Speaker 2: of the main characters in it, and Through just says,
[16:28] Speaker 2: why not try to be a good person? Like, why
[16:32] Speaker 2: not just try to be a good person? And here's
[16:34] Speaker 2: here's what HS says in response.
[16:36] Speaker 5: If I've just done good things, I would never have
[16:40] Speaker 5: really blown up on social media in the first place.
[16:42] Speaker 5: If I was just thinking, right, I don't want to
[16:44] Speaker 5: upset anyone. I don't want to do anything that's I
[16:47] Speaker 5: wouldn't have been where I'm at now, and I'm not
[16:49] Speaker 5: living for other people. I'm living for myself.
[16:52] Speaker 2: Well, that's it for a second.
[16:54] Speaker 1: I have to the problem.
[16:56] Speaker 2: I have to be repulsive. I have to be a
[16:58] Speaker 2: morality free zone. I have to be I have to
[17:02] Speaker 2: discard my conscience because that's how I make cash and
[17:06] Speaker 2: that's how I get clout.
[17:07] Speaker 1: But I think it's deeper than that. It's an absolute
[17:10] Speaker 1: acknowledgement that no one else matters know. We're stuck in
[17:15] Speaker 1: the teenage boy brain. There is no that's right, there
[17:17] Speaker 1: is no no one else.
[17:20] Speaker 2: No in a work. No again. I'm not trying to
[17:25] Speaker 2: actually push my book here. I'm trying to make a point.
[17:28] Speaker 2: My book is called Boys, but the subtitle was we took.
[17:31] Speaker 2: I argued with my publisher for more than six months
[17:34] Speaker 2: about the subtitle building strong young men from the inside out.
[17:39] Speaker 2: I want boys to be strong. I want them to
[17:42] Speaker 2: feel strong. There is something manly about feeling strong. I'm
[17:45] Speaker 2: fifty and I'm feeling stronger now than I've felt in
[17:48] Speaker 2: decades because I'm doing something about feeling strong, and it
[17:50] Speaker 2: feels fantastic, it feels amazing. But we want to build
[17:55] Speaker 2: strong young men from the inside out, and the madnessphere
[17:57] Speaker 2: is precisely the opposite of that. It's just it's a sewer, So.
[18:03] Speaker 1: Just asking for a friend. Is it actually worth watching?
[18:06] Speaker 2: I think that parents should watch it, Yes, but I
[18:10] Speaker 2: say it with huge caveats, and with huge just be prepared.
[18:14] Speaker 2: You're not going to watch it and go I'm so glad.
[18:15] Speaker 2: I spent ninety minutes on that. If you've got kids, it's.
[18:20] Speaker 1: So, is this just something that parents of boys would watch.
[18:23] Speaker 2: I think parents have daughters should watch it as well,
[18:24] Speaker 2: because this because your daughters are spending time with those boys.
[18:28] Speaker 2: You don't need to watch it. You need to be
[18:30] Speaker 2: a great example, and you need to have good conversations
[18:33] Speaker 2: with your kids consistently, whether they're boys or girls. The
[18:35] Speaker 2: reason I'm suggesting to watch it is because then you
[18:37] Speaker 2: can say to the kids, what do you think? But
[18:39] Speaker 2: I wouldn't be watching it with kids under I'd say
[18:42] Speaker 2: under fifteen, maybe sixteen. There's some pretty explicit sexual content.
[18:46] Speaker 2: There's really coarse language throughout. It's just pretty heavy stuff.
[18:50] Speaker 2: So be mindful of who you're watching it with and
[18:53] Speaker 2: what you're doing around that. Yeah.
[18:57] Speaker 1: So its spend a pretty heavy, awful conversation. If I'm
[19:01] Speaker 1: being completely honest.
[19:02] Speaker 2: It's horrible.
[19:03] Speaker 1: Yeah, And our job is to make parents feel good. So,
[19:07] Speaker 1: in light of what you've seen, and obviously I mean
[19:11] Speaker 1: spending years of research and time as you've worked on
[19:17] Speaker 1: this book for boys, what can parents actually do?
[19:21] Speaker 2: Okay? So I shared a couple of things already, and
[19:23] Speaker 2: this is very much for Ella and any other parent
[19:26] Speaker 2: of a boy who's freaking out right now. At number one,
[19:29] Speaker 2: great role models, great male role models, role models generally,
[19:32] Speaker 2: but great male role models. Boys want to look up
[19:35] Speaker 2: to men, and you know the funny.
[19:36] Speaker 1: Thing, but I actually think they need both though. I
[19:39] Speaker 1: think they need to strong women who will stand up
[19:43] Speaker 1: for themselves and not accept poor behavior.
[19:46] Speaker 2: When great I love that absolutely. The other thing that
[19:49] Speaker 2: I would add is that my research shows that boys
[19:51] Speaker 2: do look up to their dads if their dads can
[19:53] Speaker 2: have some integrity and have some character, and they don't
[19:55] Speaker 2: expect them to have six packs, they don't expect them
[19:57] Speaker 2: to look like they should be on the front cover
[19:59] Speaker 2: of Men's Health. Boys just love it when their dads
[20:01] Speaker 2: spend time with them, talk with them and listen to them,
[20:03] Speaker 2: teach them stuff. That's what boys want. Universally. They are
[20:07] Speaker 2: crying out for their dads. They are crying out for
[20:10] Speaker 2: their dads. So that's the first thing that I'd say,
[20:12] Speaker 2: strong role models, especially dad, or safe, healthy role models
[20:16] Speaker 2: in their environment. If they don't have a dad, who's available.
[20:19] Speaker 2: Second thing that I would say is having conversations, having
[20:23] Speaker 2: consistent conversations about moral topics. That's part of raising kids.
[20:28] Speaker 2: We have got to teach them character because they're not
[20:31] Speaker 2: going to learn it anywhere else, especially on the internet
[20:33] Speaker 2: and not at school either. We've got to have conversations
[20:36] Speaker 2: about who you want to be, what your values are,
[20:38] Speaker 2: what you do in this situation or that situation. Hit
[20:40] Speaker 2: them with hypotheticals. Something that you loved about getting married
[20:43] Speaker 2: to me when we dated is the conversations we often
[20:45] Speaker 2: had in our dates was what would you do in
[20:46] Speaker 2: this situation? How did you feel if we had a
[20:48] Speaker 2: childhood did that? What would your response be? In blah,
[20:53] Speaker 2: Like I was just constantly throwing hypotheticals at you. I
[20:55] Speaker 2: wanted to understand your character. I want to understand who
[20:57] Speaker 2: you were because somebody's going to live with you forever
[21:00] Speaker 2: to know that you were the kind of person whose
[21:01] Speaker 2: morality and value system was consistent with mine. And you
[21:05] Speaker 2: get to have those conversations in a safe place around
[21:08] Speaker 2: the dining table with your kids, and there's just so
[21:10] Speaker 2: much value in that. Most of all for.
[21:13] Speaker 1: Ella with your twelve week your baby. Just keep them
[21:15] Speaker 1: off the internet as long as possible.
[21:17] Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, but just teach your boys and your daughters.
[21:21] Speaker 2: Teach them this healthy masculinity means helping the people around
[21:24] Speaker 2: you to feel and be safer and stronger. That's it,
[21:27] Speaker 2: and that's what these boys are just starving for. But
[21:33] Speaker 2: the influencers are feeding them poison and calling it empowerment.
[21:37] Speaker 1: Big conversation, wish we didn't have to have it, but
[21:40] Speaker 1: such an important one.
[21:42] Speaker 2: We're gonna post about this on socials today, So jump
[21:45] Speaker 2: on Facebook, tell us what you thought about the doco.
[21:46] Speaker 2: Tell us what you think of my analysis, What did
[21:48] Speaker 2: I get right? What did I get wrong? What stood
[21:50] Speaker 2: out to you when you watched it. Would love your
[21:52] Speaker 2: comments and would love your conversation on our social pages
[21:56] Speaker 2: we're going to put on LinkedIn and YouTube and Facebook
[22:00] Speaker 2: and Instagram. A big thank you to Justin Rowland from
[22:03] Speaker 2: Bridge Media who produced the podcast today. A lot of
[22:05] Speaker 2: work in this one, so thank you Jr. Also to
[22:07] Speaker 2: Mim Hammonds who's done all of the show notes and
[22:10] Speaker 2: looks after our admin and additional support. If you'd like
[22:13] Speaker 2: more info to make your family happier, particularly on this topic,
[22:17] Speaker 2: jump online, go to book Topia pre order Boys by
[22:20] Speaker 2: Me again shameless plug, but if you want solutions, I've
[22:23] Speaker 2: spent the last three and a half years thinking about
[22:25] Speaker 2: what they are, and they're in the book Boys Raising
[22:28] Speaker 2: strong young men from the inside out. You can pre
[22:30] Speaker 2: order it now online wherever you get your books, but
[22:33] Speaker 2: book Topia will probably be your best bet. And if
[22:35] Speaker 2: you want more info to make you family happier, visit
[22:37] Speaker 2: happy families dot com dot au.

Shows are listed from Apple Podcasts' charts and directory, and Podcast Index where it is used. Every show and episode belongs to its publisher and plays from the publisher's own feed; this site hosts none of them.