# I'll Do Better Tomorrow - Coulson's Retreat

An episode of [Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1082244480), 30 Apr 2026, 14 min.

Audio: https://mgln.ai/e/187/traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/b69b2795-5503-4de1-ac91-af460017906e/9d68a8a6-7a0f-44cf-8219-b430005b383d/audio.mp3?utm_source=Podcast&in_playlist=a05f1702-0c0e-4b0f-8014-af460017907c

What happens when you finally slow down long enough to notice what’s not working? After an unexpected week away at a health retreat, Justin and Kylie came home with two surprisingly simple insights that completely shifted the way they parent, connect, and live. From the tension between personal growth and relationships… to the life-changing impact of putting phones away and sitting quietly in nature… this episode is a gentle but powerful reminder that sometimes the smallest changes create the biggest calm. If family life has felt noisy, rushed, or emotionally crowded lately, this conversation might be exactly the reset you need. KEY POINTS: • Why “good” priorities can still create tension • The hidden emotional load parents carry every day • What Justin learned from putting screens away at 6pm • How stillness and green space affect stress and connection • The surprising power of intentional downtime • Why parents rarely give themselves permission to pause QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: "There are many good things competing for our time and energy. At any given moment, we just have to decide what matters most right now." RESOURCES MENTIONED: • Boys: Building Strong Young Men from the Inside Out by Dr Justin Coulson ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: • Put your phone away one hour earlier tonight • Spend 5–10 minutes outside with no agenda • Ask yourself: What matters most in this moment? • Notice which “good” priorities are creating tension • Create one small daily ritual that helps you slow down See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

## Transcript

[0:05] Speaker 1: Gooday, Welcome to the Happy Families podcast.
[0:07] Speaker 2: We love Fridays. They are our most exciting day for
[0:10] Speaker 2: two reasons. First of all, it's the weekend. It's just
[0:12] Speaker 2: around the corner week your boys just break very much,
[0:15] Speaker 2: quite embarrassingly.
[0:16] Speaker 1: So thanks for pointing that out.
[0:18] Speaker 3: You were in your high pants today.
[0:19] Speaker 1: Oh I'm not actually you mentioned these ones are a
[0:24] Speaker 1: little tight.
[0:25] Speaker 2: Oh gosh, let's say that again. No, I can't remember
[0:29] Speaker 2: what I was saying, and that won't be the same.
[0:31] Speaker 2: And we get to it's our show and tell it's
[0:33] Speaker 2: our old do better tomorrow. That's what I was going
[0:35] Speaker 2: to say.
[0:35] Speaker 1: It's the weekend and it's our old do better tomorrow.
[0:37] Speaker 1: Where we get this year. We're not on camera. I
[0:39] Speaker 1: don't ever see your hype, the stuff.
[0:42] Speaker 2: That's been good and the stuff that hasn't been so good.
[0:44] Speaker 2: As we've tried to wrestle with the realities of family life,
[0:48] Speaker 2: we've both got some pretty cool insights that have really
[0:51] Speaker 2: impacted us for better this week, and we will share
[0:55] Speaker 2: them with you.
[0:56] Speaker 1: Right after this.
[0:59] Speaker 2: Hello on, Welcome to the Happy Families podcast, where you
[1:02] Speaker 2: get real parenting solutions every single day, where Australia's most
[1:06] Speaker 2: downloaded podcast we are Justin and Kylie Coulson. I have
[1:09] Speaker 2: completely forgotten the scripts because I'm now worried that my
[1:12] Speaker 2: pants are too tight.
[1:15] Speaker 1: And if you miss the intro, you need to go
[1:16] Speaker 1: back to the intro. It's the weekend. It's just around
[1:19] Speaker 1: the corner week Your boy's.
[1:20] Speaker 2: Just break very much, quite embarrassingly, so thanks for pointing
[1:24] Speaker 2: that out. Today on the pod we evaluate what's worked
[1:26] Speaker 2: and what hasn't in the Coulson household and.
[1:28] Speaker 1: The hope that will help you to evaluate what's going
[1:30] Speaker 1: on in your home and make it better.
[1:32] Speaker 2: It's good, I'll do better tomorrow, based on a book
[1:34] Speaker 2: of the same name that every now and again we
[1:36] Speaker 2: talk about here.
[1:36] Speaker 1: On the pod.
[1:38] Speaker 2: We're both going to be talking loosely about the same
[1:40] Speaker 2: stuff today, so you're going to be up first, but
[1:43] Speaker 2: just some introductory comments. During the school holidays, you and
[1:46] Speaker 2: I were supposed to be on a trip overseas. Didn't
[1:49] Speaker 2: quite work out that way, because there's that whole traveling
[1:53] Speaker 2: overseas issue right now, especially if you're heading towards the
[1:56] Speaker 2: Middle East or Europe, and therefore our trip was canceled.
[1:59] Speaker 2: We got some refunds come through and you and I
[2:03] Speaker 2: had to then work out, well, what do we do,
[2:05] Speaker 2: And because we love our children, we decided not to
[2:07] Speaker 2: go away for quite so long, but still go away
[2:09] Speaker 2: without them anyway, because we really wanted to have that
[2:11] Speaker 2: time together, and we went to This is not sponsored.
[2:15] Speaker 2: I'm just going to say it. It's just easier hashtag
[2:18] Speaker 2: not sponsored. We went to a health retreat on the
[2:19] Speaker 2: Gold Coast called Eden Eden Health Resort, which you're a
[2:23] Speaker 2: long term fan of and I went to in nineteen
[2:25] Speaker 2: ninety three and two thousand and three. So nothing new
[2:29] Speaker 2: here from an experienced point of view. But I just
[2:32] Speaker 2: finished writing my very final, final, final, final draft.
[2:35] Speaker 1: Of the book. I was exhausted.
[2:37] Speaker 2: I needed I just needed a healthy, retreaty kind of
[2:40] Speaker 2: place and you'd love being there anyway. So we went
[2:43] Speaker 2: down there and it was there that we had the
[2:46] Speaker 2: insights that have really flipped the switch for us since
[2:50] Speaker 2: we've come home over the last couple of weeks. I
[2:54] Speaker 2: share that as background because number One, you don't have
[2:56] Speaker 2: to go.
[2:56] Speaker 1: To a health retreat to make changes in your life.
[2:59] Speaker 1: You can listen to the Happy Families podcast and we'll
[3:01] Speaker 1: tell you about our change. Then you can make them
[3:03] Speaker 1: make a difference. Sorry, I'm so sorry.
[3:06] Speaker 2: But secondly, secondly, what this is about is living with
[3:10] Speaker 2: intention and sometimes when you do get away, it might
[3:13] Speaker 2: not be for a week, it might be for a
[3:14] Speaker 2: day or a couple of days, weekend. It just if
[3:18] Speaker 2: you're intentional about it, it gives you that chance to pause,
[3:21] Speaker 2: reflect and think about what's working and what's not so
[3:23] Speaker 2: that you can make the changes. So you and I
[3:25] Speaker 2: both made some changes as a result of our time
[3:28] Speaker 2: at Eden.
[3:29] Speaker 1: Where would you like to take this?
[3:30] Speaker 3: You're up first, Well, I talked to you about one
[3:33] Speaker 3: idea that I had and we were going to go
[3:35] Speaker 3: with that, but I've decided to change it up, so
[3:37] Speaker 3: I'm leaving you in the dark again again.
[3:39] Speaker 1: Okay, this happens a lot of the pod lately.
[3:42] Speaker 3: So normally when I go to the health retreat, I
[3:45] Speaker 3: go alone and it has become a cherished space of
[3:50] Speaker 3: stillness for me and probably some really serious heavy lifting
[3:54] Speaker 3: as far as unpacking and processing emotions. This time was
[4:00] Speaker 3: because this was the first time you and I were
[4:02] Speaker 3: going together, right, So it's the first thing. And then
[4:05] Speaker 3: the second part of that was the goal was not
[4:08] Speaker 3: about unpacking. The goal was about togetherness, right, So already
[4:12] Speaker 3: there's an incongruency between the goals.
[4:17] Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, sure.
[4:19] Speaker 3: And the reality is, as I sat with this, I
[4:22] Speaker 3: actually was really challenged by it all week. I had
[4:26] Speaker 3: this this deep desire to be with you and connect
[4:30] Speaker 3: with you, but I was wrestling with the fact that
[4:32] Speaker 3: I was in the place where I unpack, and I
[4:35] Speaker 3: needed to unpack and I needed to probably unravel a
[4:39] Speaker 3: little bit so that I could work it all out.
[4:42] Speaker 3: But you were in my space.
[4:43] Speaker 1: But I wasn't. And I really want to be clear
[4:45] Speaker 1: about this.
[4:46] Speaker 2: For the first three or four days, I kept saying,
[4:49] Speaker 2: I can leave you alone, I can give you space,
[4:51] Speaker 2: we can be together this this.
[4:53] Speaker 3: But this is the tension point because I wanted to
[4:56] Speaker 3: be with you, and.
[4:58] Speaker 1: Whereas when I'm not there, you don't have the You're
[5:00] Speaker 1: just on your own and you do.
[5:01] Speaker 3: The decisions already made.
[5:02] Speaker 2: So you have to do the unpacking personal in a work,
[5:05] Speaker 2: Whereas because I'm there, you don't want to do the
[5:07] Speaker 2: person in the work, even though you need to because
[5:09] Speaker 2: I want to be with you, you want to be
[5:10] Speaker 2: with me. But I'm saying I know you need to
[5:11] Speaker 2: do the work, so just go and do it, and
[5:12] Speaker 2: you're like, I need to, but you're here, and I'm like,
[5:16] Speaker 2: but I don't have to be here, and you're like, no,
[5:17] Speaker 2: but you are.
[5:18] Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess, And so I was.
[5:20] Speaker 3: I was really, really, really wrestled with this all week,
[5:23] Speaker 3: and in some ways it was a really hard week
[5:26] Speaker 3: instead of the beautiful, nice week that we do, it
[5:27] Speaker 3: was going to be.
[5:28] Speaker 2: Yes, a quick quick highlight there, if you're going to
[5:31] Speaker 2: do a couple's weekend away or a couple of week away,
[5:33] Speaker 2: don't do it treats treat unless you're both on the
[5:36] Speaker 2: same page about it. In many ways, these kind of
[5:39] Speaker 2: places are the sorts of places where you do go
[5:41] Speaker 2: on your own Yeah. Yeah, Although and when I liked
[5:44] Speaker 2: being there with you, except when you were.
[5:47] Speaker 3: When I talk to the stuff, they all they all
[5:50] Speaker 3: just totally understood what I was saying. It was like,
[5:53] Speaker 3: that's why most couples choose not to come together. They'll
[5:56] Speaker 3: come at separate times throughout the year, because it really
[5:59] Speaker 3: is a personal opportunity for stillness. We don't get that.
[6:04] Speaker 3: But the lesson that I took out of that when
[6:07] Speaker 3: I saw that is it's not just about being at
[6:12] Speaker 3: a house retreat. I experience that tension and that friction
[6:17] Speaker 3: almost on a daily basis, because the reality is, doing
[6:22] Speaker 3: my inner work and processing is important, but so is
[6:26] Speaker 3: time with you. They're two good things. Does one out
[6:29] Speaker 3: that way the other one? I don't think so, And
[6:32] Speaker 3: at any point in time, as a as a parent specifically,
[6:36] Speaker 3: but just as a human being, we actually have to
[6:39] Speaker 3: prioritize because there are many good things that fill up
[6:44] Speaker 3: our time and our space and our energy. And I
[6:48] Speaker 3: thought it was just an eden thing. I thought that
[6:50] Speaker 3: I was just really wrestling with this because all of
[6:52] Speaker 3: a sudden, a space that had predominantly been personal and
[6:56] Speaker 3: private for me was I was now introducing another person
[6:59] Speaker 3: into it. But the reality is, when I looked at
[7:02] Speaker 3: it closer, that's my day to day. I go through
[7:05] Speaker 3: this on a daily basis. I desperately want to spend
[7:11] Speaker 3: time with friends and connect with them, but I've got
[7:14] Speaker 3: children at home who need to be homeschooled and learn
[7:17] Speaker 3: and grow, and each one of them is important and good.
[7:21] Speaker 3: But in any given moment, I actually have to be
[7:24] Speaker 3: able to take a step back and look at what
[7:26] Speaker 3: the priority is. So that means some days the priority
[7:30] Speaker 3: is actually connecting with my friends, and homeschool or school
[7:34] Speaker 3: work gets pushed to the side and other days, homeschooling
[7:38] Speaker 3: has to be the priority, and a lot.
[7:39] Speaker 2: Of people probably listen to what you're saying and going well.
[7:42] Speaker 2: Every day the priority is paying the bills.
[7:43] Speaker 3: I have to go to work, I get that, but
[7:46] Speaker 3: it's outside of that. Some days it's I'm going to
[7:49] Speaker 3: go for a walk instead of doing the dishes. The
[7:51] Speaker 3: dishes will be there tomorrow. I'll get it done right.
[7:54] Speaker 3: It just like there's no perfect answer.
[7:59] Speaker 1: No, it's a never any there's never any ten.
[8:01] Speaker 3: But there is always going to be tension. And if
[8:04] Speaker 3: you can just be clear on what the one priority
[8:07] Speaker 3: is in this moment, it will make it a little
[8:10] Speaker 3: bit easier to make the decision, even though it's.
[8:12] Speaker 1: Not all right.
[8:13] Speaker 2: Great stuff after the break. The two big insights that
[8:16] Speaker 2: have changed everything for me in the last few weeks.
[8:19] Speaker 2: As a result of taking some time out to the introspective,
[8:24] Speaker 2: I didn't have any tension, by the way, I had
[8:26] Speaker 2: no tension at all. I was like, I can do
[8:28] Speaker 2: it inner work, even if you're near me.
[8:30] Speaker 3: You think you're funny.
[8:31] Speaker 1: I was trying to be funny, seriously, as funny as
[8:34] Speaker 1: I thought. That's next.
[8:35] Speaker 3: This is the person who gets to go on an
[8:37] Speaker 3: aeroplane every other day and have all the time he
[8:40] Speaker 3: wants to himself. He gets to snuggle in a bed,
[8:43] Speaker 3: don't eat at a restaurant, stuff, doesn't have anyone.
[8:46] Speaker 1: Pulling on him asking.
[8:48] Speaker 3: Them to do anything for their family all the time. Anyway,
[8:52] Speaker 3: all right.
[8:52] Speaker 1: My story is next.
[9:01] Speaker 2: Hello, and welcome back to the Happy Families podcast, where
[9:03] Speaker 2: you get realpairing solutions every single day.
[9:06] Speaker 1: We are Justin and Kylie Coulson and how.
[9:07] Speaker 3: Did your processing go?
[9:08] Speaker 1: Okay, I'll do better. It's so funny.
[9:11] Speaker 2: They give you a journal and you go to Eden
[9:12] Speaker 2: and my journal I wrote. The first thing I wrote
[9:15] Speaker 2: in the journal was I had no intention of writing
[9:18] Speaker 2: and still may not do much.
[9:21] Speaker 3: Let's just put it out there. We were there for
[9:23] Speaker 3: a week. You were two days in and you were like,
[9:26] Speaker 3: I'm wound down, I'm ready to go home.
[9:28] Speaker 1: I've got stuff to do it. I've relaxed. By the
[9:32] Speaker 1: time we got to day six and we're going home
[9:34] Speaker 1: the next day, I really like, I don't want to leave.
[9:36] Speaker 2: Yeah, I reckon, I could do with another two maybe
[9:39] Speaker 2: three months of.
[9:41] Speaker 3: This someone cooking all your food.
[9:44] Speaker 1: Whether there is that anyway.
[9:46] Speaker 2: My insights, they repeated themselves pretty much daily, and I've
[9:50] Speaker 2: been living it since I've come home, and I'm so
[9:52] Speaker 2: grateful for it. Insight number one, life is better without
[9:56] Speaker 2: a phone and screen. So I made a commitment remove
[10:01] Speaker 2: all screens at six pm each night, and the second
[10:05] Speaker 2: one I missed. The quiet Eden is silent. I was
[10:10] Speaker 2: not really silent, but it's pretty peaceful. And so every
[10:13] Speaker 2: single day trying to find a way to get downtime
[10:17] Speaker 2: daily in green space. So that's not exercise time, that's
[10:21] Speaker 2: not going for a walk with the dog, that's not
[10:24] Speaker 2: doing all the stuff and being active. It's literally sitting
[10:27] Speaker 2: on the grass and doing nothing, even if it's for
[10:29] Speaker 2: five minutes or ten minutes. There's just something. Oh my goodness,
[10:34] Speaker 2: I can't describe the peacefulness that I felt removing my phone.
[10:38] Speaker 2: I've stopped worrying about what's in the news headlines. Like
[10:41] Speaker 2: I'll still scan the headlines mainly for parenting content to
[10:44] Speaker 2: talk about in the podcast, but other than that, I'm
[10:47] Speaker 2: just not that interested in the headlines anymore.
[10:48] Speaker 1: And my life is better. My life is better.
[10:51] Speaker 2: Every night that phone has been away somewhere between five
[10:53] Speaker 2: pm and six pm, with very rare exceptions. Every now
[10:57] Speaker 2: and again, there's a reason that I have to have
[10:59] Speaker 2: it or or use it. But I'm not even listening
[11:01] Speaker 2: to the podcast that I used to listen to. I've
[11:03] Speaker 2: slowed it right down, and oh, I just feel good.
[11:09] Speaker 3: It's interesting when I think about the week that we've had,
[11:12] Speaker 3: I think you and I have both, at different times
[11:14] Speaker 3: talked about One of the most enjoyable moments of that
[11:18] Speaker 3: week was taking a picnic blanket down to the stream and.
[11:22] Speaker 1: Just sat under the tree.
[11:23] Speaker 3: Sat under the trees, and we basically had our quarterly
[11:26] Speaker 3: getaway catch up meeting and just refined all of the
[11:30] Speaker 3: goals and things that we're working on at the moment.
[11:32] Speaker 3: So it wasn't like we were just doing nothing, but
[11:35] Speaker 3: we just got to lounge around and have easy conversations
[11:38] Speaker 3: in a beautiful place and listen to the birds singing
[11:41] Speaker 3: around us, and a little magpie got too close and
[11:43] Speaker 3: all of the things. But when do you take a
[11:47] Speaker 3: picnic blanket out and go sit.
[11:48] Speaker 1: On the grass?
[11:49] Speaker 3: I who was the last time we ever did that?
[11:51] Speaker 2: I actually forgot to mention in the intro it's an
[11:54] Speaker 2: internet and cell phone black spot, Like you just can't
[11:57] Speaker 2: get internet, the phone doesn't work to call home. You
[12:00] Speaker 2: kind of got to go for a walk down to
[12:02] Speaker 2: the front fence and stand on one leg and reach
[12:04] Speaker 2: out with your left at a forty six point three
[12:06] Speaker 2: degree angle and hope that the reception will work.
[12:10] Speaker 1: And so we.
[12:11] Speaker 2: Didn't have any We were off the grid for a week.
[12:13] Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, I keep saying it, but it felt
[12:16] Speaker 2: so good so coming home. Obviously technology has come back
[12:19] Speaker 2: into our lives in various ways. But just making sure
[12:22] Speaker 2: that I don't touch my phone for the first couple
[12:24] Speaker 2: of hours in the morning, I'm doing my reading and
[12:26] Speaker 2: I'm doing my rising rituals, and then in the evening
[12:30] Speaker 2: having that phone that screen away by five pm, six pm,
[12:35] Speaker 2: it just feels so good. And then touching grass, grounding,
[12:39] Speaker 2: Oh I love it.
[12:39] Speaker 1: I love it. So that's my older bed tomorrow.
[12:41] Speaker 2: If you can incorporate it, even for a few minutes,
[12:45] Speaker 2: the grounding stuff, or if you can get rid of
[12:47] Speaker 2: your advices except when you really need them, just watch
[12:50] Speaker 2: how it feels, even over the course of a few days.
[12:52] Speaker 1: It is just divine. That's it for this week. Have
[12:56] Speaker 1: a great weekend. I did it again. I did it again.
[13:01] Speaker 1: When you said that it sounded a little bit wrong,
[13:05] Speaker 1: bit high, just wanted to highlight. Just wanted to highlight.
[13:08] Speaker 2: We've been on a health kick for a couple of
[13:09] Speaker 2: months now, and I have shifted into the slightly smaller
[13:13] Speaker 2: sized pants that I've kept in my draw in. Maybe
[13:16] Speaker 2: a little bit too early for the day that I could.
[13:20] Speaker 1: I might have been optimistic todight.
[13:23] Speaker 2: The Heavy Family podcast is produced by Justin Rouland from Bridge.
[13:26] Speaker 2: Medium Inhabits provides research, admin and all the additional support
[13:29] Speaker 2: that we need for the pod. Thank you so much,
[13:31] Speaker 2: both Jr And MIM have a wonderful weekend.
[13:33] Speaker 1: We're so grateful that you choose to listen.
[13:35] Speaker 2: And if you haven't already, if you've got a son
[13:38] Speaker 2: or sons, check out my brand new book Boys, Building
[13:42] Speaker 2: Strong Young Men from the Inside Out.
[13:44] Speaker 1: It's available now
[13:45] Speaker 2: For pre order twenty seven percent off at book toopia
[13:48] Speaker 2: dot com dot a U

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