# Date Night and the Power of Showing Up

An episode of [Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1082244480), 4 Jun 2026, 19 min.

Audio: https://mgln.ai/e/187/traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/b69b2795-5503-4de1-ac91-af460017906e/57174378-508c-49c5-b02e-b45800ba3c29/audio.mp3?utm_source=Podcast&in_playlist=a05f1702-0c0e-4b0f-8014-af460017907c

One unexpected date night changed everything. What started with reluctance, exhaustion, and a pottery wheel in the middle of an industrial estate turned into one of the most immersive and connecting experiences we’ve had in years. In this heartfelt episode of I’ll Do Better Tomorrow, Justin and Kylie share why ordinary date nights often fall flat, how novelty can reignite connection, and the surprising activity that completely pulled Justin out of stress and into flow. Plus, Kylie shares a deeply emotional story about one conversation between two sisters that revealed what children really know about a parent’s love — even in the middle of slammed doors, teenage tension, and hard seasons. This episode is a beautiful reminder that the moments we think aren’t landing may matter more than we realise. KEY POINTS: • Why routine date nights can lose their spark • The power of novelty and shared experiences in relationships • How stepping outside your comfort zone strengthens connection • The surprising mental health benefits of immersive activities • What teenagers really remember about love and safety • Why parenting is more about meaning than happiness • The hidden impact of simply continuing to show up for your kids RESOURCES MENTIONED: • Miss-Connection: Why your teenage daughter “hates” you, expects the world, and needs to talk by Dr Justin Coulson • Preorder Boys: Building strong young men from the inside out by Dr Justin Coulson • Claim your preorder bonuses for Boys • Happy Families membership and resources ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: • Plan one date night this month that feels new, adventurous, or slightly uncomfortable • Focus less on ‘getting quality time’ and more on shared experiences • Keep showing up with love, even when your child pushes you away • Look for quiet evidence that your influence is deeper than you think • Take time to savour the small family moments that often pass too quickly See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

## Transcript

[0:06] Speaker 1: Date night. It's that concept that can make some people
[0:08] Speaker 1: get very excited and other people become frustrated over it, exhausted,
[0:12] Speaker 1: and I just wonder if it's all worth the hassle.
[0:15] Speaker 1: Does your date night sing or does it get a
[0:18] Speaker 1: little bit routine and mundane. This is The Happy Family's
[0:21] Speaker 1: podcast and after the Break it's our old Do Better
[0:25] Speaker 1: Tomorrow Friday episode where we unpack the week that was,
[0:28] Speaker 1: what's working, what's not How can we make our family happier.
[0:31] Speaker 2: It's an insight into.
[0:32] Speaker 1: The life of the Colsons in the hope that it
[0:35] Speaker 1: will give you some inspo to make your family life better.
[0:39] Speaker 1: Right after the break, the latest on date Night plus
[0:42] Speaker 1: one of those conversations that you have with your children
[0:45] Speaker 1: that joins dots and changes your relationship.
[0:52] Speaker 2: Stay with us.
[0:55] Speaker 1: Hello, Welcome to The Happy Families podcast, where you get
[0:57] Speaker 1: real parenting solutions every single day. It's Australia's most downloaded
[1:00] Speaker 1: parenting podcasts.
[1:01] Speaker 2: We are Justin and Kylie Coulson. Kylie.
[1:04] Speaker 1: Today we take a peek behind the curtain and have
[1:06] Speaker 1: a look at what's working and what's not working. I
[1:08] Speaker 1: just want to highlight before we get stuck into it.
[1:10] Speaker 1: My book comes out in lemon days, not next Friday,
[1:14] Speaker 1: but the Tuesday after that, Boys.
[1:16] Speaker 2: Will be on the shelves.
[1:17] Speaker 1: You can still pre order right now via book toopia
[1:19] Speaker 1: dot com dot When you do that, if you then
[1:22] Speaker 1: go to Happy Families dot com DOTU and put in
[1:25] Speaker 1: your details, what we do is we give you a
[1:28] Speaker 1: whole bunch of freebies, and those freebies are pretty darn cool.
[1:31] Speaker 1: They include free access to an invite only ask Me
[1:36] Speaker 1: Anything that will be happening the day the book comes out.
[1:39] Speaker 1: In addition to the ask Me Anything, you'll also receive
[1:44] Speaker 1: Boys the Emergency Audio Guide. Instant Access will come to
[1:48] Speaker 1: you for that. Like I said, he ask Me Anything.
[1:50] Speaker 1: There's also a book club kit and a Golden ticket lottery.
[1:54] Speaker 1: The first five hundred orders go into the drawer to
[1:58] Speaker 1: win a private one on one consultation with me, yours truly,
[2:02] Speaker 1: to talk about raising your kids and see what we
[2:04] Speaker 1: can do to help make your family happier.
[2:06] Speaker 3: Oh.
[2:06] Speaker 1: I should also add if you're pre order, you'll save
[2:08] Speaker 1: twenty seven percent at book toopia dot com dot You.
[2:12] Speaker 1: All right, hon, let's get into it. Today's I'll do
[2:14] Speaker 1: better tomorrow.
[2:15] Speaker 2: I'm going to go first.
[2:15] Speaker 1: My one's fairly short and sweet, well, very very sweet.
[2:18] Speaker 1: It's actually two things, as I can't help myself. The
[2:22] Speaker 1: other day, our little granddaughter two and a half years old,
[2:25] Speaker 1: walked into my office, came by for a surprise.
[2:28] Speaker 2: Visit, saw me.
[2:29] Speaker 1: She goes hip hops, and then she told me that
[2:31] Speaker 1: she'd been at the gym with her mum. And I
[2:34] Speaker 1: don't know what JIM is. JIM is some sort of
[2:36] Speaker 1: kids playdate or something like that.
[2:37] Speaker 4: I yes, kids gymnastics, I write it.
[2:40] Speaker 1: And they've got the microphone out and then they randomly
[2:42] Speaker 1: ask these tiny little two and three year old kids
[2:44] Speaker 1: if they want to use the microphone and sing a song.
[2:46] Speaker 1: And Indy decided she was going to do it, and
[2:48] Speaker 1: I said, well she didn't.
[2:48] Speaker 5: She absolutely refused to.
[2:50] Speaker 1: Oh what happened for weeks on that day.
[2:54] Speaker 4: Well, no, she refused again on the day and she
[2:57] Speaker 4: now kind of said that's okay, so she was allowed
[2:58] Speaker 4: to keep playing. So they just kind of do a
[3:00] Speaker 4: little bit of a break during their movement time. But
[3:04] Speaker 4: kids can still move if they want to, right, And
[3:06] Speaker 4: so she now kind of turned her back and started
[3:09] Speaker 4: doing some other things, and then she realized Indy wasn't
[3:12] Speaker 4: with her, and she kind of was like, what's going on?
[3:15] Speaker 4: Like she couldn't find her anywhere on any of the equipment,
[3:18] Speaker 4: And she went around the corner and Indy was literally
[3:21] Speaker 4: right in front of the microphone singing at the top
[3:24] Speaker 4: of her life.
[3:24] Speaker 1: Right And so I asked Indy what she had sung
[3:27] Speaker 1: and she sang it to me and I said, that
[3:30] Speaker 1: is so cool? Can we record you singing that? And
[3:34] Speaker 1: can you sing it one more time? And she sat
[3:36] Speaker 1: in front of my microphone right here in the podcast studio.
[3:38] Speaker 1: And forgive me, I know it's self indulgent. I know
[3:41] Speaker 1: that you don't necessarily really want to hear someone else's
[3:44] Speaker 1: two and a half year old sing, but oh my goodness,
[3:46] Speaker 1: the cuteness factor is off the charts.
[3:48] Speaker 3: Check this out a e F Hey do they care
[3:56] Speaker 3: panel pe? I s okay, yeah they that eggs what
[4:06] Speaker 3: and said, mum a BC's kest time the.
[4:15] Speaker 1: Kylie. My heart feels like it is going to explode,
[4:20] Speaker 1: like seriously.
[4:22] Speaker 5: Well you think that's cute?
[4:23] Speaker 2: Cuteness overlap.
[4:24] Speaker 4: This was a surprise visit. We had no idea that
[4:26] Speaker 4: she was showing up. She walked in the door, the
[4:28] Speaker 4: kids heard her and she was.
[4:30] Speaker 1: Like loly for those who are new to the pod
[4:33] Speaker 1: Kylie is Lolly and I am Pops. We are Lolly Pops.
[4:36] Speaker 4: And the girls pounced on her and she was like, no, Lily,
[4:40] Speaker 4: where's Lily? And I turned around and I gave her
[4:43] Speaker 4: a big grin and she came racing down and I said,
[4:47] Speaker 4: where's Mom. She says she's gone home. She said I
[4:50] Speaker 4: can hang out with.
[4:51] Speaker 1: You, right, And I was like, was true?
[4:54] Speaker 5: That's news to me.
[4:56] Speaker 4: When she now finally came in after she'd been talking
[4:58] Speaker 4: with you, I said, Indies told me that you told
[5:01] Speaker 4: us she could hang out with me today.
[5:03] Speaker 5: And she said that's.
[5:04] Speaker 2: Not what I was.
[5:05] Speaker 1: I reckon, she did, I'm just thinking about it. I reckon,
[5:07] Speaker 1: they set that up. You go in and see Lolly
[5:09] Speaker 1: and Nastacfigan. Stay. I'm going to talk to Pops in
[5:11] Speaker 1: the office for a bit.
[5:12] Speaker 5: She looked at Indian, she said, do you want to
[5:14] Speaker 5: stay with Lolly?
[5:15] Speaker 4: And she said yeah, by mum literally wait to her
[5:18] Speaker 4: and told her to go all right.
[5:20] Speaker 1: So, my audi bed tomorrow is just just just the
[5:23] Speaker 1: power of savoring. Yeah, proud Grandpa moment, all that sort
[5:27] Speaker 1: of stuff. But I just wanted to share it with you.
[5:29] Speaker 1: My alder bed Tomorrow was actually not that. It's a
[5:31] Speaker 1: quick story. We have a monthly date night. We used
[5:34] Speaker 1: to try and do it weekly. It was just too much.
[5:35] Speaker 1: We couldn't keep up. There's six kids, there's a business,
[5:37] Speaker 1: I'm traveling, there's all of our additional.
[5:39] Speaker 2: Activities and things that we're doing. It was just way
[5:41] Speaker 2: too much.
[5:42] Speaker 1: But at the start of the year, when we did
[5:43] Speaker 1: a reset and worked out what was important to us,
[5:45] Speaker 1: we said one date night per month. But it can't
[5:48] Speaker 1: be banal. It can't be drab, it can't be basic.
[5:50] Speaker 1: It can't be the let's go on have a meal
[5:54] Speaker 1: and watch a movie. We want to do something that's
[5:56] Speaker 1: got some spirit of adventure or novelty or new or
[6:00] Speaker 1: excitement to it. So we've had some really nice date
[6:03] Speaker 1: nights this year. But on Friday night last week, we
[6:06] Speaker 1: really going back a week for this little bit of tomorrow.
[6:09] Speaker 1: You booked something in didn't tell me what it was.
[6:10] Speaker 1: You were so excited for it. I had no clue
[6:12] Speaker 1: where we were going. We live on the Sunshine Coast
[6:15] Speaker 1: and we're driving out to Namble. Kylie like, I'm thinking,
[6:18] Speaker 1: what are we doing in Namble? There's Nambor is not
[6:20] Speaker 1: known as the hive or the hub of awesome activities
[6:24] Speaker 1: on the Sunshine Coast.
[6:25] Speaker 4: Well, I was a little bit nervous too, because I
[6:27] Speaker 4: had never been there before. And we were driving in
[6:29] Speaker 4: the middle of nowhere, it felt.
[6:31] Speaker 5: Like, and we're going towards nowhere.
[6:33] Speaker 1: We ended up in the middle of an industrial estate
[6:35] Speaker 1: and I'm going and it was bitch black, what's going on?
[6:38] Speaker 2: And I kind of I was pretty tired.
[6:40] Speaker 1: It had been a lot of travel, a lot of week.
[6:42] Speaker 2: A lot of stuff going on during the week.
[6:45] Speaker 1: And I could see some fairy lights in one of
[6:47] Speaker 1: the warehouses or whatever you want to call them in
[6:50] Speaker 1: this industrial estate. So I've said, I bet we're going
[6:53] Speaker 1: there where the fairy lights are, and you said no,
[6:55] Speaker 1: or you're lied about it all. Maybe you said I
[6:57] Speaker 1: don't know, I can't remember.
[6:58] Speaker 4: No, because they said that the shed was number four
[7:01] Speaker 4: and where the fairy lights was number seventeen. But what
[7:04] Speaker 4: they didn't acknowledge is.
[7:05] Speaker 1: That it goes through from one side of the other.
[7:07] Speaker 2: That's right, yep.
[7:08] Speaker 1: So anyway, we've walked around number four and there's fairy lights,
[7:11] Speaker 1: and turns out that you've taken me to a pottery class.
[7:15] Speaker 5: And what was the first question I asked you, once
[7:18] Speaker 5: you realized what did.
[7:19] Speaker 2: You ask me?
[7:20] Speaker 5: Do you hate me yet?
[7:21] Speaker 4: Yeah?
[7:23] Speaker 1: And I had to be really diplomatic with my answer
[7:25] Speaker 1: because I was thinking, why why are we doing pottery?
[7:29] Speaker 1: I'm tired? Could we just not have actually had a
[7:32] Speaker 1: lazy date night? Or maybe not even happy? I was hungry,
[7:36] Speaker 1: like there were so many reasons why?
[7:38] Speaker 2: And then I'm thinking pottery, really pottery.
[7:41] Speaker 1: And then then you told me that it was going
[7:42] Speaker 1: to be a two hour pottery class. Pottery class. We're
[7:46] Speaker 1: not just going to make pottery, We're going to do
[7:47] Speaker 1: a class. And I'm thinking, oh, like kill me now, seriously.
[7:53] Speaker 4: Well, the next couple that came in, I looked at
[7:56] Speaker 4: the husband and I was like, did you get dragged
[7:58] Speaker 4: along as well?
[7:59] Speaker 1: And he was like, oh, I'm pumped, yeah yeah, And
[8:01] Speaker 1: I'm looking at him going, what is your problem to dude?
[8:06] Speaker 1: So we sat down and we did pottery for two hours.
[8:08] Speaker 1: The two hours went by and what felt like twenty minutes.
[8:12] Speaker 2: I was so absorbed. I was completely lost in it.
[8:15] Speaker 1: I had the most fabulous I can't believe how much
[8:20] Speaker 1: I loved.
[8:22] Speaker 2: What do they call it?
[8:23] Speaker 1: Is it tossing? Is it throwing?
[8:26] Speaker 2: Throwing? The throwing literally throwing the.
[8:28] Speaker 1: Clay onto the wheel and then pushing the accelerator and
[8:31] Speaker 1: getting the heel of my hand into it and getting
[8:34] Speaker 1: it scentered and then turning it into these bowls and
[8:37] Speaker 1: cups and things that I'm I'm like, and we get
[8:40] Speaker 1: to go back again in a couple of months once
[8:41] Speaker 1: it's all set, so we can glaze it and fire
[8:43] Speaker 1: it and do all that sort of thing. And I'm
[8:45] Speaker 1: not saying we're going to start doing pottery every Friday night,
[8:47] Speaker 1: like our lives are a little bit too full for
[8:49] Speaker 1: that at this point in our like just now, but
[8:53] Speaker 1: I can actually see it's doing pottery in a few
[8:55] Speaker 1: years time, when then kids kids have all moved out
[8:57] Speaker 1: and we've slowed our lives down. I walked out and
[9:01] Speaker 1: it was really hard for me to say this. I
[9:03] Speaker 1: had this look of pain on my face. I'm like,
[9:04] Speaker 1: I don't want to tell you this because I really
[9:06] Speaker 1: didn't want to do this, But my goodness, that was amazing.
[9:10] Speaker 1: I loved it.
[9:11] Speaker 4: When you turned to me and you said, I don't
[9:13] Speaker 4: want you to get a big head, right. But outside
[9:18] Speaker 4: of surfing, I don't think I have ever experienced that
[9:22] Speaker 4: level of flow with any other activity.
[9:25] Speaker 1: I feel embarrassed hearing you say that, because I did
[9:27] Speaker 1: say that, but it's true.
[9:29] Speaker 3: Like I.
[9:31] Speaker 1: Want to explain, like if you're listening to pot and
[9:34] Speaker 1: you're thinking this is really weird. Had I not had
[9:37] Speaker 1: the experience, I would have thought that there was something
[9:39] Speaker 1: the matter with me. But why I got I was
[9:43] Speaker 1: just so immersed at the moment. I was completely I
[9:46] Speaker 1: was at one with the clay. Honey, I was in
[9:49] Speaker 1: and I didn't want to be distracted. I just wanted
[9:52] Speaker 1: to focus.
[9:53] Speaker 5: You really actually didn't talk to me.
[9:55] Speaker 1: I didn't talk to you for two hours, two not
[9:57] Speaker 1: exactly my kind of date normally, and the time flew by.
[10:01] Speaker 1: It was just it was just this beautiful moment of
[10:03] Speaker 1: immersion where I wasn't thinking about the kids. I wasn't
[10:06] Speaker 1: thinking about the quarterly budget for the business. I wasn't
[10:09] Speaker 1: thinking about the next talk I've got to give, or
[10:11] Speaker 1: the next book that I may or may not be
[10:13] Speaker 1: a quarterly.
[10:14] Speaker 5: Budget for the business. We talk about finances.
[10:16] Speaker 2: Well that as well.
[10:17] Speaker 1: I wasn't thinking about anything except molding the.
[10:20] Speaker 2: Clay, including me.
[10:21] Speaker 5: You weren't thinking about.
[10:22] Speaker 2: Me, No, no, actually was.
[10:23] Speaker 1: I was in the moment, nothing about kids, nothing about business,
[10:27] Speaker 1: nothing about anything.
[10:27] Speaker 2: It was just sublime.
[10:29] Speaker 1: So my old better tomorrow is date night works. Date
[10:33] Speaker 1: night is awesome, but date night. For it to be
[10:37] Speaker 1: really great requires us to be creative, think outside the
[10:42] Speaker 1: proverbial box, do things that we might not otherwise do.
[10:46] Speaker 2: Be open.
[10:47] Speaker 5: Yeah, I think it's about getting outside of your comfort zone.
[10:49] Speaker 1: Some things are going to be a dud. Like pottery
[10:52] Speaker 1: could have actually been a dud and it would have
[10:54] Speaker 1: been a great story as well, but it was actually
[10:56] Speaker 1: not a dud. And I know what we're going to
[11:00] Speaker 1: do for our next date night. I'm responsible for that one,
[11:03] Speaker 1: and it's also out namboll Way. Oh really, I can't
[11:06] Speaker 1: tell you any more than that. That's as far as
[11:08] Speaker 1: I go.
[11:09] Speaker 2: But me either, it's going to be really, really great.
[11:13] Speaker 2: I'm so pumped for.
[11:14] Speaker 1: It anyway, after the break because I've spent far too
[11:16] Speaker 1: long on that. I said it would be a quick
[11:17] Speaker 1: one and it wasn't. After the break, you've got a
[11:19] Speaker 1: story to tell about an interaction with an eighteen year
[11:22] Speaker 1: old that has just shifted things in remarkable ways. I
[11:28] Speaker 1: want to know what you did and how you did
[11:30] Speaker 1: it because it will make a difference for every parent
[11:32] Speaker 1: that's next this is the Happy Families podcast. Missus Happy Families,
[11:43] Speaker 1: We would love to know all about this conversation that
[11:45] Speaker 1: you have had with our eighteen year old daughter that
[11:49] Speaker 1: has had such an impact on you.
[11:52] Speaker 4: I try really hard to keep the kids as anonymous
[11:54] Speaker 4: as possible, but it's going to be a little bit
[11:56] Speaker 4: tricky if I don't use names here because there's different
[11:58] Speaker 4: ages that are important to the story. So Annie is
[12:02] Speaker 4: our now eighteen year old and the other night she
[12:06] Speaker 4: participated in the class that I was teaching all about
[12:09] Speaker 4: the importance of women in our lives, and we spoke
[12:12] Speaker 4: specifically about women who've had profound influence, and I asked
[12:17] Speaker 4: the class if they would share some examples of women
[12:20] Speaker 4: and the things that they have done for them that
[12:23] Speaker 4: have had such great influence. And I was actually surprised
[12:26] Speaker 4: that Annie didn't share. She's usually someone who would participate
[12:31] Speaker 4: quite openly, and so as we were driving home that night,
[12:34] Speaker 4: I kind of asked her how she felt the class
[12:37] Speaker 4: when she said, mom, she said, it was a doozy
[12:39] Speaker 4: and it was so good, And I said, I was
[12:42] Speaker 4: really surprised that you didn't kind of comment, and she said, well,
[12:45] Speaker 4: once somebody mentioned their mom, she said I kind of
[12:48] Speaker 4: felt like me saying my mom felt like a bit
[12:50] Speaker 4: of a copycat, and I decided that I wouldn't and
[12:54] Speaker 4: she said, I couldn't really think of anyone else. And
[12:56] Speaker 4: then as other people started sharing, I realized that there
[13:00] Speaker 4: were some women in my life that have have been
[13:04] Speaker 4: very influential, and she shared a few of them with me.
[13:07] Speaker 4: And then she said, and as we're talking now, I
[13:12] Speaker 4: actually have just remembered there is one interaction that I
[13:15] Speaker 4: had with my older sister, Chanel when I was about twelve,
[13:19] Speaker 4: And she said, I don't really remember too many interactions
[13:22] Speaker 4: with her because there's about eight years between them, and
[13:27] Speaker 4: she said, but this one, she said, this changed me
[13:29] Speaker 4: in really profound ways. And so she proceeded to tell
[13:33] Speaker 4: me that one night she'd had a big falling out
[13:36] Speaker 4: with me. She was really angry, and as most teenage
[13:39] Speaker 4: girls do, she kind of had, you know, screamed the
[13:43] Speaker 4: house down, ran to her bedroom, slammed the door, and
[13:46] Speaker 4: proceeded to sob into her pillow. And a few minutes later,
[13:51] Speaker 4: our eldest daughter, Chanelle, walked in and Addie was still
[13:54] Speaker 4: really really angry, and she kind of screamed at her
[13:57] Speaker 4: and told her to get out and leave her alone.
[13:59] Speaker 4: She didn't want to talk to her, and so Shechnell
[14:01] Speaker 4: just sat there patiently with her for a number of
[14:04] Speaker 4: minutes before Annie was able to calm down enough that
[14:08] Speaker 4: Chanelle could ask her a few questions. And in Annie's
[14:14] Speaker 4: bedroom was a painting that was painted by one of
[14:18] Speaker 4: our neighbors mothers. It's a picture of me holding Annie
[14:22] Speaker 4: as a baby, and it is one of my treasured possessions.
[14:27] Speaker 4: I have since learned that it's one of Annie's as well.
[14:31] Speaker 4: And Chanell pointed out that picture with a little twelve
[14:35] Speaker 4: year old, angry young girl and said to Annie, what
[14:41] Speaker 4: do you see in that picture? And Annie looked at
[14:45] Speaker 4: her and she said, it's mum holding me his baby.
[14:47] Speaker 4: And she said what else do you see And she said, no,
[14:52] Speaker 4: I don't know. And Chanelle said, how is she holding you?
[14:57] Speaker 4: She said lovingly and she now said yeah. She said,
[15:03] Speaker 4: you know, there is no one in the world that
[15:07] Speaker 4: will love you the way that woman rule. And the
[15:12] Speaker 4: reason I'm really emotional about it is because at that
[15:14] Speaker 4: particular time in Channell's life, she was probably about the
[15:18] Speaker 4: most rebellious a child can be, and our relationship was really,
[15:23] Speaker 4: really fraught and challenged and as and he shared that
[15:30] Speaker 4: with me. I was just so overcome and I'm still
[15:34] Speaker 4: overcome by it, because it's just such a a beautiful
[15:40] Speaker 4: acknowledgment that even when our children bush against the boundaries,
[15:49] Speaker 4: if we are striving to do everything we can to
[15:52] Speaker 4: fill their lives with love and joy and light, that
[15:59] Speaker 4: there is a deep knowing, there is a deep knowing
[16:02] Speaker 4: in them that can't be denied. And that little twelve
[16:07] Speaker 4: year old was reminded by a rebellious eighteen year old,
[16:12] Speaker 4: no matter what happened that night, that her mum was
[16:14] Speaker 4: going to love her forever. And I was really really grateful.
[16:18] Speaker 4: I was so grateful for that conversation and just seeing
[16:26] Speaker 4: our girls' hearts in a really profound way.
[16:31] Speaker 1: I've written this book called Misconnection, Why your teenage daughter
[16:33] Speaker 1: Hates You, expects the world and needs to talk. Not
[16:36] Speaker 1: trying to plug the book here, but the hates you
[16:38] Speaker 1: as in inverted commas on the title why your teenage
[16:42] Speaker 1: daughter Hates You? And people always pull me up and
[16:44] Speaker 1: they're like, but my daughter doesn't hate me. I'm like, no,
[16:46] Speaker 1: I no, But every now and again she'll slam the door,
[16:48] Speaker 1: She'll see something like I hate you year story like that,
[16:51] Speaker 1: and it just reminds you. You just keep showing up,
[16:54] Speaker 1: you keep on loving them. You just I've said this
[16:57] Speaker 1: on the podcast a number of times over the last
[16:59] Speaker 1: maybe six to twelve months, and I keep coming back
[17:01] Speaker 1: to it. You never really truly get back what you
[17:04] Speaker 1: put in as a parent.
[17:05] Speaker 2: You just don't.
[17:06] Speaker 1: And if you expect that you will, if you think
[17:07] Speaker 1: that there's going to be some sort of equalization or
[17:10] Speaker 1: some sort of transaction where you finally go, oh, it
[17:12] Speaker 1: was all worth it. Now, I feel like I've been
[17:14] Speaker 1: repaid for the years of dedication and for the love
[17:16] Speaker 1: and the sacrifice and the early mornings and the late
[17:18] Speaker 1: nights and the stress and the worry and the conversations
[17:20] Speaker 1: and the expense. It's just not going to happen. Give well, yes,
[17:29] Speaker 1: but it's still it's still not payment, right, Like, it
[17:32] Speaker 1: still doesn't repay you. It's just it's a new kind
[17:35] Speaker 1: of economy. But every now and again you hear one
[17:38] Speaker 1: of those stories, and that story that that equalizes the
[17:43] Speaker 1: relationship in ways. The research shows that being a parent
[17:47] Speaker 1: doesn't make you happy. That's what the research actually shows
[17:50] Speaker 1: when we look at it the way psychologists measuring happiness.
[17:53] Speaker 1: But what it does, it gives you meaning, and it
[17:54] Speaker 1: gives you a richness that is so much more profound
[18:00] Speaker 1: than saying, yeah, being a parent makes me happy. And
[18:02] Speaker 1: you've just shared that so so beautifully. Wouldn't it be
[18:05] Speaker 1: great for all the kids would actually tell us those
[18:06] Speaker 1: stories in the moments that we need them and.
[18:09] Speaker 2: Not I don't know what is it eight years later
[18:11] Speaker 2: something like that.
[18:13] Speaker 1: We really hope that you've enjoyed today's point.
[18:14] Speaker 2: Thanks so much for listening.
[18:15] Speaker 1: The Happy Families podcast is produced by Justin Roland from
[18:18] Speaker 1: Bridge Media. Mim Hammond's provides our admin and additional support.
[18:23] Speaker 1: If you'd like more in front to make you family happy,
[18:24] Speaker 1: you'll find it at happy families dot com dot I.
[18:26] Speaker 2: You have a great weekend. Thanks for listening. We'll talk
[18:29] Speaker 2: to you on Monday.

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