# The Real Impact of Taking Kids Out of School to Travel \[Q&A\]

An episode of [Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1082244480), 1 Jun 2026, 13 min.

Audio: https://mgln.ai/e/187/traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/b69b2795-5503-4de1-ac91-af460017906e/25393bac-9e57-4c52-8a4f-b45800b9b816/audio.mp3?utm_source=Podcast&in_playlist=a05f1702-0c0e-4b0f-8014-af460017907c

Would taking your child out of school for a year ruin their education — or completely transform their life for the better? A mum asks whether travelling overseas with her children during the notoriously difficult middle-school years could help them avoid unnecessary social stress… or rob them of the chance to build resilience. In this heartfelt conversation, Justin and Kylie unpack the emotional realities of school friendships, bullying, resilience, reintegration, and why travel might offer lessons no classroom ever could. If you’ve ever dreamed of packing up your life and showing your kids the world, this episode will help you think through the timing, the risks, and the rewards. KEY POINTS: • Why there’s no such thing as the “perfect” time to travel with kids • The surprising truth about bullying and difficult school years • How resilience is built through relationships, not pressure • Why family travel can create powerful life skills and confidence • The importance of getting kids emotionally onboard with big changes • How to help children maintain friendships while travelling • Why reintegration after travel may be the biggest challenge of all QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: “Resilience is relational. Kids become resilient when they face challenges knowing they have support beside them.” RESOURCES MENTIONED: • Boys: Building Strong Young Men from the Inside Out by Dr Justin Coulson • Ask a question for the Happy Families Podcast ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: • Talk openly with your kids about major family decisions and involve them in the process • Focus on connection and support when your child faces challenges • Help children maintain meaningful friendships during periods of change • Consider the life skills and confidence-building opportunities travel can provide • Stop waiting for the “perfect” timing and assess whether the opportunity aligns with your family values See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

## Transcript

[0:05] Speaker 1: Every Tuesday on the Happy Families podcast, we ask your
[0:08] Speaker 1: tricky questions. And today we've got a good problem to
[0:10] Speaker 1: have from a mum in Victoria who's trying to work
[0:12] Speaker 1: out the best time to have a gap year with
[0:14] Speaker 1: the kids. Well, not a gap year, but pull the
[0:15] Speaker 1: kids out, Like, how good would that be? Pull the
[0:18] Speaker 1: kids out go travel?
[0:19] Speaker 2: And we have talked about this so much time.
[0:21] Speaker 1: We've always wanted to do it, and we've never done
[0:23] Speaker 1: it for a whole bunch of very very good reasons.
[0:28] Speaker 1: But wouldn't that be such a great thing to do?
[0:30] Speaker 1: So if you've got a tricky question, by the way,
[0:32] Speaker 1: we'd love to hear from you. After the break, we're
[0:34] Speaker 1: going to unpack this question and work out the best
[0:37] Speaker 1: time to take the kids out of school so that
[0:40] Speaker 1: you can show them the sights of the country, the world,
[0:45] Speaker 1: and everything that's in it without impacting their potential, without
[0:48] Speaker 1: impacting their schooling and their friendships too much. Stay with us,
[0:51] Speaker 1: that's next. We love so much that you've joined us
[0:55] Speaker 1: on the Happy Families podcast, where you get real parenting
[0:57] Speaker 1: solutions every single day. Today, what do you do when
[1:02] Speaker 1: you've got the option to travel and you're just not
[1:04] Speaker 1: quite sure when you should do it, because it feels
[1:07] Speaker 1: like every year matters for the kids. We are Justin
[1:10] Speaker 1: and Kylie Colson. We're the parents of six kids. Haven't
[1:13] Speaker 1: added the total number of years that they've all been
[1:15] Speaker 1: alive for, but we've been parenting for nearly thirty years. Gosh,
[1:19] Speaker 1: that makes us sound old. We are, thanks, so if
[1:23] Speaker 1: you have a choice, out of the pod, we answer
[1:25] Speaker 1: your tricky questions. If you've got a tricky question you'd
[1:27] Speaker 1: like to ask us, it can be about anything at all.
[1:30] Speaker 1: We'll check it in there. We'd love to talk about
[1:31] Speaker 1: all sorts of things related to families and relationships, are
[1:35] Speaker 1: well being, or just anything to do with how you
[1:38] Speaker 1: run your home. Basically, submit your tricky questions via voice note.
[1:42] Speaker 1: Just send us an email podcast at happy families dot
[1:44] Speaker 1: com dot you with that voice note attached, or alternatively,
[1:47] Speaker 1: go to happy families dot com dot i U, scroll
[1:50] Speaker 1: down to podcasts, click the record button and start talking.
[1:53] Speaker 1: Just like Ella from Victoria, who sent us this.
[1:57] Speaker 3: Hi, Justin and Kylie. My name's Ella from Victoria. I
[2:01] Speaker 3: was wondering if we're lucky enough financially, we're considering spending
[2:06] Speaker 3: six to twelve months traveling abroad as a family, either
[2:10] Speaker 3: learning via correspondence or maybe visiting some alternative international schools.
[2:16] Speaker 3: The question is when here nine is notoriously a difficult year,
[2:19] Speaker 3: particularly for girls with peakming girl activity. What are your
[2:24] Speaker 3: thoughts about taking our daughter out of the traditional learning
[2:27] Speaker 3: environment for all or part of this year. Would I
[2:30] Speaker 3: be sparing her the unnecessary heartache and for length, or
[2:33] Speaker 3: depriving her of the opportunity to build resilience and the
[2:36] Speaker 3: life skills of dealing with difficult people. Our son would
[2:41] Speaker 3: be Ingrade four at the time. Love to hear your thoughts.
[2:44] Speaker 1: Thank you, all right, KYLEI so I asked you what
[2:47] Speaker 1: you thought when we listened to this earlier. You said,
[2:48] Speaker 1: I'm not sharing my ideas with you because you're always
[2:50] Speaker 1: you steal my ideas, like like I don't have a
[2:53] Speaker 1: pH d in psychology and some ideas of my own,
[2:55] Speaker 1: I'm going to steal all of yours. Therefore, therefore, missus
[2:58] Speaker 1: happy families.
[2:59] Speaker 2: I don't believe you told everyone that Ella.
[3:01] Speaker 1: Is going to get your advice first before I say
[3:03] Speaker 1: a thing, because I don't want to steal any of
[3:05] Speaker 1: your great ideas to help Ella.
[3:07] Speaker 2: Can I say yes, yes, yes, right when we have
[3:11] Speaker 2: an opportunity to give our children experiences that enlarge their lives. Yes,
[3:16] Speaker 2: do it? Do it?
[3:18] Speaker 1: Okay? Anything else? What about the resilience thing? And anything
[3:21] Speaker 1: about grade nine? Do you want to talk about the
[3:22] Speaker 1: grade four son? Where they should go? Do you want
[3:25] Speaker 1: to jump in and troubles?
[3:28] Speaker 2: No? I think that it's really important that families take
[3:31] Speaker 2: into account their own personal situation and the type of
[3:36] Speaker 2: child they have. Some kids love consistency and really need
[3:42] Speaker 2: structure to kind of manage their day to day lives.
[3:46] Speaker 2: And other kids are really happy to try new things
[3:48] Speaker 2: and go and explore and stretch themselves. So it's not
[3:52] Speaker 2: a blanket answer, But I think that as far as
[3:57] Speaker 2: resilience goes, putting your kids into a new enviral, regardless
[4:00] Speaker 2: of where you are, is creating opportunities for resilience. Taking
[4:04] Speaker 2: them out of what would be notoriously known as one
[4:08] Speaker 2: of the trickiest years, especially for girls. Having gone through
[4:13] Speaker 2: that process nearly six times, right, having actually made that
[4:19] Speaker 2: decision with child number five to pull her out was
[4:23] Speaker 2: life altering for her.
[4:26] Speaker 1: So yes, just yes, Okay, that was easy.
[4:30] Speaker 3: So it was easy.
[4:31] Speaker 1: So glad you shared all of your ideas. You're so
[4:33] Speaker 1: bad thank you.
[4:35] Speaker 2: You want me to ask you what you would say?
[4:37] Speaker 1: Well, that would be the appropriate thing to do.
[4:40] Speaker 2: Oh what would you like to share?
[4:42] Speaker 1: You have to break Stay with us, We're back. This
[4:52] Speaker 1: is the Happy Family's podcast. Answering your tricky questions, Well
[4:54] Speaker 1: answer answering Ella's from Victoria's tricky question. Do you take
[4:58] Speaker 1: the kids out of school? What great is the grade?
[5:00] Speaker 1: Is it going to affect their resilience? Kylie, let me
[5:03] Speaker 1: just add some color and some flavor to the things
[5:06] Speaker 1: that you said, and feel free to push back or
[5:08] Speaker 1: react to anything that I say. First thing that I'll
[5:10] Speaker 1: say is, Ella, this is a great problem to have, Like,
[5:12] Speaker 1: this is the best problem that you can have half
[5:15] Speaker 1: your luck. I hope that you get to do it.
[5:17] Speaker 1: That's the first thing, Kylie. You made the point and
[5:21] Speaker 1: echoed Ella's suggestion that grade nine is sort of peak
[5:25] Speaker 1: time for mean girl bullying sort of thing. The research
[5:28] Speaker 1: doesn't actually bear that out. Year four is actually peak
[5:31] Speaker 1: time for bullying. There's more bullying that happens in grade
[5:33] Speaker 1: four grade five than what happens in grade nine. The
[5:36] Speaker 1: circumstances around the grade nine bullying can be pretty harmful, though,
[5:39] Speaker 1: And and I do have a saying that I've been
[5:42] Speaker 1: using throughout the last fifteen years, and that is that
[5:43] Speaker 1: if you can get through year nine, you can get
[5:45] Speaker 1: through anything at all.
[5:47] Speaker 2: So it goes against the research you've just shared. I'm
[5:50] Speaker 2: just pointing that out.
[5:51] Speaker 1: I think that there's greater concern around the social impact
[5:54] Speaker 1: of it later, so there's more of it in the
[5:57] Speaker 1: earlier years. But kids are certainly affected by it in
[5:59] Speaker 1: those primary years, but they're affected by it differently. It
[6:02] Speaker 1: feels like it's more pervasive. It feels like it's more
[6:04] Speaker 1: identity crushing and soul destroying.
[6:06] Speaker 2: Well, now with the addition of social media.
[6:09] Speaker 1: Well not available in grade nine because you've got to
[6:11] Speaker 1: be over sixteen, which means that because of the federal
[6:13] Speaker 1: government's wonderful new minimum age social media legislation, under sixteens
[6:19] Speaker 1: can't be on grade nine. What's that fourteen fifteen? They're safe.
[6:22] Speaker 1: If finally, I could you hear the I didn't mean
[6:26] Speaker 1: to sound quite so snid when I said it's so cynical. Yes,
[6:30] Speaker 1: you're right. The social media aspect is certainly challenging. So
[6:35] Speaker 1: a couple of things that I want to highlight. First off,
[6:37] Speaker 1: social connections can be really tricky at this age, but
[6:40] Speaker 1: even for your grade fourth. So like Kylie, we've we've
[6:42] Speaker 1: moved into state and we had a daughter who was
[6:45] Speaker 1: in grade nine when we did it, and that was
[6:48] Speaker 1: in a word, I would go so far as to say, catastrophic,
[6:51] Speaker 1: But she was really against the move.
[6:54] Speaker 2: She was really against the move. And that's why I
[6:56] Speaker 2: said in the beginning, there's a little bit of neurance here.
[6:58] Speaker 2: You have to really kind of you know, I understand
[7:01] Speaker 2: the dynamics and your own.
[7:01] Speaker 1: Family, consider your personal circumstances.
[7:04] Speaker 2: Yeah. So she was very much against it and very
[7:09] Speaker 2: integrated into her school and the friendships that entailed.
[7:15] Speaker 1: And so that brings me to the second thing that
[7:17] Speaker 1: I was going to highlight, and that is that the
[7:19] Speaker 1: most important thing around these decisions is that you've got
[7:21] Speaker 1: buying from the kids. Like, if the kids are all in,
[7:23] Speaker 1: then this is I was going to say a little
[7:26] Speaker 1: bit snap, but it probably won't be. They'll still be
[7:28] Speaker 1: trying and challenging moments, and reintegration when you come home
[7:31] Speaker 1: will also be potentially difficult. But once again, giving them
[7:34] Speaker 1: a voice, giving them a saying where are we going
[7:36] Speaker 1: to live? What school do you want to go to?
[7:37] Speaker 1: And why how are we going to re establish our
[7:40] Speaker 1: lives once we've had our our year from heaven where
[7:45] Speaker 1: we've gone and had all these incredible experiences and created
[7:48] Speaker 1: these lifelong memories. That reintegration into Australian society or wherever
[7:52] Speaker 1: it is that you decide to live is going to
[7:54] Speaker 1: be a really big challenge. How do you land the
[7:57] Speaker 1: plane after you've had that experien sperience?
[8:00] Speaker 2: So I want to pull you up on that. So
[8:05] Speaker 2: as a team husband and wife partners, you've decided that
[8:08] Speaker 2: this is going to be the best thing for your family,
[8:11] Speaker 2: but you're fourteen year old decides that she is actually
[8:15] Speaker 2: not going adamant, this is not going to happen. She's
[8:17] Speaker 2: not going to be a part of it. So is
[8:19] Speaker 2: she supposed to make the decision like does she stop
[8:21] Speaker 2: me from going? Because as a fourteen year old she's
[8:24] Speaker 2: having a dummy spit?
[8:25] Speaker 1: Now, this is that same thing where we bring the
[8:27] Speaker 1: kids along on the journey. We make sure they understand
[8:30] Speaker 1: the rationale, the narrative, the reasons why, and get them
[8:33] Speaker 1: to a point where they maybe they don't say, oh
[8:35] Speaker 1: my goodness, this is going to be life changing, this
[8:37] Speaker 1: is going to be larging, this is going to be
[8:38] Speaker 1: the best thing we've ever done. But maybe they say, yeah,
[8:40] Speaker 1: I get why we're doing it, and I'm willing to
[8:41] Speaker 1: give it a go, or I can identify the value
[8:44] Speaker 1: in this. So sure, I don't necessarily love it. I'm
[8:47] Speaker 1: really nervous about what happens when I come home and
[8:50] Speaker 1: we say, well, let's cross that bridge when you come
[8:52] Speaker 1: to it, because we've got twelve months where you don't
[8:54] Speaker 1: have to think about that and it's going to be awesome.
[8:57] Speaker 1: And that I mean, the whole conversation is really around resilience'
[9:00] Speaker 1: That's what started this discussion. And if you want your
[9:04] Speaker 1: kids to be resilient, the re entry is actually where
[9:06] Speaker 1: the resilience building happens. It's not pulling them out of school,
[9:09] Speaker 1: it's not missing out on the horrible things that could
[9:13] Speaker 1: happen at school. It's actually the reintegration. And I go
[9:16] Speaker 1: back to the one thing that I say again and
[9:18] Speaker 1: again and again on this podcast, and that is that
[9:20] Speaker 1: resilience is relational. So kids don't get resilient because we
[9:25] Speaker 1: stick them into a pressure cooker and say sink or swim.
[9:29] Speaker 1: Kids get resilient because as they endure the everyday hardships
[9:32] Speaker 1: and challenges of daily life or school life or traveling life.
[9:37] Speaker 1: They have their adversities, their challenges, the trials and difficulties
[9:43] Speaker 1: and the randomness of life hitting them, and they get
[9:46] Speaker 1: to come back and lean on us and say this
[9:48] Speaker 1: is hard, and we say, yeah, I know, I believe
[9:49] Speaker 1: in you. I think there's going to be more resilience
[9:51] Speaker 1: building opportunities with the travel then there would be going
[9:54] Speaker 1: through grade nine at school. I really do, especially having
[9:56] Speaker 1: to do a home school or some kind of on
[9:58] Speaker 1: the road school while you're doing that's that's going to
[10:01] Speaker 1: be hard yaker as well.
[10:02] Speaker 2: Well. You're exposed to different cultures, different.
[10:04] Speaker 1: Foods, life skills sorted, resilient skills sorted. That's what I'm
[10:09] Speaker 1: reading there.
[10:09] Speaker 2: Just go.
[10:10] Speaker 1: You started there, I'm finishing there. Just go. I would
[10:14] Speaker 1: just add this, there's no perfect time, like there's literally
[10:17] Speaker 1: no perfect time to go away, especially for that length
[10:19] Speaker 1: of time. There's going to be milestones, there's going to
[10:21] Speaker 1: be developmental challenges, there's going to be schooling issues no
[10:25] Speaker 1: matter when you go, the perfect time doesn't exist. So therefore,
[10:28] Speaker 1: if it's on your bucket list, if it's something that
[10:30] Speaker 1: you can do, my response is just go. That's my
[10:33] Speaker 1: last word.
[10:34] Speaker 2: The only other thing I would add is if she
[10:36] Speaker 2: has good friends, it's really important that you find ways
[10:41] Speaker 2: to support her to continue to maintain those friendships. So,
[10:47] Speaker 2: depending on how far away you are, you might choose
[10:50] Speaker 2: to kind of send her home for a week during
[10:53] Speaker 2: a holiday period, or just to allow her to kind
[10:57] Speaker 2: of send little packages.
[10:58] Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, life friend over for a surprise for
[11:01] Speaker 1: a birthday or something like that.
[11:02] Speaker 2: Yeah. Like I just over the years, as we've done
[11:05] Speaker 2: the moves that we've done, we've really strived to encourage
[11:08] Speaker 2: our kids to maintain friendships even when they're not.
[11:12] Speaker 1: Side by side and when it's not convenient.
[11:15] Speaker 2: And that has been you used it inconvenient. At times
[11:19] Speaker 2: we've driven for hours on end to meet up with
[11:23] Speaker 2: the other family at the halfway point so that we
[11:26] Speaker 2: could do a swapover for the holiday period, or we've
[11:29] Speaker 2: flow on a child.
[11:30] Speaker 1: Out in the state, like all over the place.
[11:33] Speaker 2: But it has meant so much to them and their
[11:37] Speaker 2: friendships have continued. It's helped them to recognize you don't
[11:40] Speaker 2: have to be in each other's space twenty four to
[11:42] Speaker 2: seven to have a good friendship. And for some of
[11:44] Speaker 2: our kids, they have friends from their very youngest you
[11:49] Speaker 2: know start of school that they've continued.
[11:51] Speaker 1: To maintain despite multiple interstate moves from us and from
[11:55] Speaker 1: their friends, And I just.
[11:56] Speaker 2: That would be the one thing that I would add,
[11:58] Speaker 2: find ways to support and sustain good friendships, because if
[12:04] Speaker 2: you do, those friendships will sustain them.
[12:07] Speaker 1: Elifant Victoria. We really hope that that's a useful answer
[12:09] Speaker 1: and that it can guide some of your decision making.
[12:12] Speaker 1: If you've got a tricky question you'd like to ask us,
[12:14] Speaker 1: we'll answer that questions about pretty much anything. Set us
[12:17] Speaker 1: voiceload a podcasts at Happy families dot com dot you
[12:20] Speaker 1: or jump online to happy families dot com. Do you
[12:22] Speaker 1: and you can push the record button start talking. We
[12:24] Speaker 1: have a super simple system to use right there. The
[12:27] Speaker 1: Happy Families podcast is produced by Justin ruland from Bridge Media.
[12:30] Speaker 1: We get admin an additional support supplied by Mimhammonds and
[12:33] Speaker 1: if you would like more in front to make your
[12:35] Speaker 1: family happier, you'll find it all at happy families dot
[12:37] Speaker 1: com dot AU. And a quick reminder, only two weeks
[12:41] Speaker 1: to go until the Boys book is out, Boys Building
[12:43] Speaker 1: Strong Young Men from the Inside Out. You can pre
[12:45] Speaker 1: order it now at book Toopia dot com dot you
[12:47] Speaker 1: and get ten bucks off. That's a huge saving. I
[12:50] Speaker 1: can't even get it that cheap. Ten bucks off at
[12:52] Speaker 1: book toopia dot com dot au if you're pre order now,
[12:54] Speaker 1: and then take it to Happy Families dot com DOTU
[12:56] Speaker 1: and put in your receipt number for a whole bunch
[12:59] Speaker 1: of freebies.
[13:00] Speaker 2: Speaking

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